University of Omaha - Tomahawk / Gateway Yearbook (Omaha, NE)
- Class of 1939
Page 1 of 62
Pages 6 - 7
Pages 10 - 11
Pages 14 - 15
Pages 8 - 9
Pages 12 - 13
Pages 16 - 17
Text from Pages 1 - 62 of the 1939 volume:
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RAY A. JUNGE
THEME PHOTOGRAPH nv EARLE BUNKER FROM
THE OM AHA VVORLD-HERALD IQOTOGRAVURE
VOLUME NUMBER FOUR
fhey have made economic de-
mocracy a realify for millions of
Americans a'l' a iime when ii' was
mosl' necessary and have sym-
bolized fhe close relaiionship
befween educaiion and democ-
racy in ihe building of l'his
Since its doors opened thirty years ago to re-
ceive tive professors and twenty-six students, the
University of Omaha has grown until in September,
1938, the faculty numbered sixty-five and 1,069
students were enrolled. A
Under the presidency of Rowland Haynes, it be-
came evident in the fall of 1936 that the equipment
of the University, since 1930 a municipal institu-
tion supported largely by taxation, was too inade-
quate to meet the need of the six hundred students
then registered. The Board of Regents therefore
selected a site on Dodge street near Elmwood Pork,
on which to erect a new plant.
A dramatic highlight of the campaign was the
announcement by the Public Works Administration
of a grant of S4l4,000 to the University to provide
forty-five per cent of the cost of the first new build-
ing, which was completed and ready for
nivers into full
CAMPUS SCENES . . .
Lazy Daze . . , Over the
Hill . . . and Through
the Wood . . . For Fu-
As president of the University of Omaha, Rowland Haynes has provided
the leadership under which the University has made spectacular progress: a new
campus, fifty-one acres in size, has been acquired, a million-dollar building has
been erected, in one year enrollment has increased over fifty per cent, and the
University of Omaha has been admitted to membership in the North Central
Association of Secondary Schools and Colleges.
Perhaps Mr. Haynes' most noteworthy accomplishment has been his "Life-
Time Plan for Education." He states that since the world today is in a confused
state of affairs and that since the sum total of human knowledge is large and is
always increasing, a person who completes a four-year college course has con-
structed only a foundation for future study and should continue his studies
throughout life. Thus Mr. Haynes, in an effort to make the University a truly
a H eeeaee e geaa
:Ev - 21? -,liiil-I p -Y W j Tig, , in 'Y ' Elgin rg
functional unit in the community and to serve the needs of adults, has enlarged
the faculty and increased the number and types of courses offered in the School
of Adult Education.
Thoroughly democratic and liberal in his methods, Mr. Haynes has long
adhered to the policy of inviting faculty advice and cooperation on administrative
matters. However, during the past year he has inaugurated a new policy that, in
its implications, is well-nigh revolutionary. Since the adults of today were the
students of yesterday, and since adults should have a clear understanding of the
problems which a graduated student must face, Mr. Haynes has asked for opin-
ions from competent business and professional men and women. In addition,
realizing that students, more than anyone else, understand not only their prob-
lems, but also their hopes and desires, Mr. Haynes has invited representative
groups of students to meet with him and offer their advice and opinions on mat-
ters of administrative policy.
However, no bare recital of facts can properly interpret that which stands
out most clearly in Mr. Haynes' dealings with students--his personality. His
charm and ease of manner, the depth of his culture, his sympathy and considera-
tion for the most trivial of student problems, his sincere desire to serve the young
people of this region, and his quick and incisive intelligence are qualities that
distinguish Mr. Haynes among his fellows.
1-21131: 4 .--.weighs . .Q--, -VA ,1 Y ,::, V Y V Y 3 ,
Bedqar, Byrne, Haugh, Iacobberger
Majors, Martin, Murray, Stryker
Board of Regents
Chairmen . . FRANK T. B. MARTIN
Vice-Chairmen. . . HIRD STRYKER
Secretary . . FLOYD j. MURRAY
Treiztiirei' . . . . W. DALE CLARK
Bitiiiiiiigf ami Groimds Committee Athletic! Committee
H. A. JACOBBERGER, Chairmen HIRD STRYKER, Chairman
HIRD STRYKER J. L. HAUGH
FLOYD J. MURRAY HARRY S. BYRNE
A. D. MA ,IORS H. A. JACOBBERGER
Libmtry Committee Faculty, Stiiiieiit Reliztiom Committee
MRS, J. E. BEDNAR, Chairmen FRANK T. B. MARTIN, Chairmen
HARRY S. BYRNE MRS. J. E. BEDNAR
FLOYD J. MURRAY W. DALE CLARK
W. DALE CLARK, C lmirmmi
J. L. HAUGH
A. D. MA JORS
EDGAR A. HOLT
t Dean of the College
Dr. Edgar A. Holt, Dean of the College and head of the department of
history and government, has attained a distinguished record of scholarly and
administrative achievement, culminating in the recent admittance of the Uni-
versity of Omaha into the North Central Association of Secondary Schools and
Transmitting to his students a philosophic integration of the facts of history,
Dr. Holt has inspired them with the high quality of his scholarship and his gen-
uine love of learning. As Dean of the College, he has worked untiringly to better
the status of the University of Omaha. As a result of his labors, the faculty has
been enlarged and is recognized by the people of Omaha and by the faculties of
neighboring universities to be a superior group of scholars.
When Dr. Holt came to the University in 1931, the Library had fewer
than eight thousand books on its shelves. Under his guidance as chairman of the
Library committee until June, 1938, the Library grew until over fifty thousand
volumes were catalogued. Because of its growth, Senators George W. Norris and
Edward R. Burke of Nebraska, in March, 1939, designated it as an official deposi-
tory for all documents published by the Federal Government.
University of Omaha, 1938, M.A.,
University of Nebraska, 1932,
National Basketball Association,
National Health and Physical Ed-
ucation Association, Phi Epsilon
Kappa, Phi Delta Kappa, Spon-
sor, Alpha Phi Omega.
University of Omaha, 1933, Ph.
D., Harvard, 1933, Phi Beta Kap-
pa, Studied, Widener Library,
Cambridge, British Museum, Lon-
don, Author, Torn Brown of
Faceliouf Memory, 1939, Spon-
sor, Sigma Tau Delta.
MARTIN W. BUSH
University of Omaha, 1933, F.A.
G.O., 1932, Concert organist,
Joslyn Memorial, Organist, First
Central Congregational Church,
National Music Teachers' Associ-
ation, Nebraska Music Teachers'
Association, Omaha Music
HENRY G. COX
University of Omaha, 1933, B.
M., Des Moines Musical College,
1897, National Music Educators
Association, Nebraska Music
Teachers' Association, Clef club,
Forum club, Studied, Berlin,
HELMUT R. BOENINGER
University of Omaha, 1936,
M.A., University of Wisconsin,
1934, Modern Language Associa-
tion of America, Sponsor, Ger-
man club, Camera club.
LLOYD M. BRADFIELD
Dean of Men
University of Omaha, 1926, B.A.,
Dubuque University, 1923, Na-
tional Vocational Guidance Asso-
ciation, National Ofhce Manag-
ers' Association, National Associ-
ation of Deans of Men and Ad-
visers, Studied, University of
Iowa, Northwestern University,
Sponsor, Alpha Phi Omega.
E. P. COLEMAN
University of Omaha, 1938, M.A.,
University of Iowa, 1937, Sigma
Xi, Kappa Mu Epsilon, Sponsor,
L. D. CRENSHAW
University of Omaha, 1925, B.S.,
University of Omaha' Universit
and College Business Oflicers' As-
sociation, Educational Buyers' As-
sociation, Studied, University
Barnes, Benham, Eckluncl, Flynn, Hudson, Jewell, Iindra
linssal, Knipprath, Lawrence, Marcil, Mickna, Pierce, Odorisio, Reynolds
Shoemaker, Strobehn, Stroup, Thompson, Voss, Vlfilliams, Zick
Vice-President . .
Recording Secretary .
C orrerpondin g Secretary
Treizriirer . . .
Sally Ruth Jones
. . MARY Voss
. BERNICE ECKLUND
. . . . . HELEN MICKNA
MRS. RODERIC CRANE, MRS. LESLIE JOHNSON
. . . . . MARIETTA KOOP
Mary Jane Egan
Phi Delta Psi
On January 6, 1923, a group of the University women of mutual interests
established the Phi Delta Psi sorority. Peacock blue and steel gray were selected
by the founders as the organizations colors, and the lily of the valley was chosen
as the group's flower.
The small gold question mark pledge pin inspired the new Phi Delt
members to present, on October 22, the "Question Mark" pledge dance. Doris
jean Nelson, pledge president, was in charge of all arrangements. Chairman of
the Christmas formal dance at the Fontenelle Hotel, December 22, was Elizabeth
Phi Delta Psi is well represented among class officers by Jayne Fee, Fresh-
man secretary, and Ruth Hall, secretary-treasurer of the Junior class. Miss Hall
is also club representative on and president of the Inter-Sorority Council. The
Phi Delt Feathers are Dorothy Jennings, Marian Findley, Marjorie Carlson,
Betty Jane Backlund, Elizabeth Ann Swanson, and Clara Williamson, who is
also a member of the W.A.A. board.
Lystra Thomsen and Elizabeth Ann Swanson were active members of Sigma
Pi Phi, educational fraternity. Miss Swanson, a Kappa Mu Lambda member,
has participated in Community Playhouse productions as well as those at the
University, also outstanding in the dramatics department are Bernice Vanecek,
Doris Jean Nelson, and Rita Burton.
Anderson, Applegate, Backlund, Bennett, Burton, Button, Carlson, Christensen
Clark, Crosby, Crowley, Elson, Fee, Findley, Hahne, Hall, Jennings
Jepsen, B. Johnson, M. Johnson, Lovgren, Myers, Nelson, Bremer, Redrnond, Swanson
Thomsen, Thompson, Vanecek, Vasco, VX'helan, NVillard, XV1llIamson, VN otherspoon
Spomors . .
Honorary Member .
Betty Jayne Backlund
Mary Anne Crowley
ELIZABETH ANN SWANSON
. MISS RUTH DIAMOND, MRS. W. T. MEEK
Doris Jean Nelson
Elizabeth Ann Swanson
ijieei MACH ee :men
. MRS. L M. BRADFIELD
Peggy Lynne Clark
' E... ....
Pi Omega Pi
Originally organized as the Kactus Klub or Duo-Kay, it became Pi Omega
Pi sorority in 1923. The group chose an unusual combination of cerise and silver
for their colors, the sweet pea as their flower. Pledges wear a gold horseshoe pin.
Members of this organization are prominent for scholastic achievements
and extra-curricular activities. "O" club Sweetheart for 1959 is Bette Hughes.
In 1938 Pi O's were awarded the Inter-Fraternity Sing banner for the third
consecutive year and won first place in the Ma-ie Day Show, Irene Tinkham
was crowned Princess Attira IV. Vice-President Ruth Archer, holder of a four
year scholarship, is a member of the Student Council. The club is represented on
the Inter-Sorority Council by Phyllis Hopkins and Violet DeVaney, vice-presi-
dent of the Council.
Annalou Jackson acts as vice-president of the Freshmen, Margenne No-
land, as secretary-treasurer of the Sophomore class, and Ruth Archer, as Senior
vice-president. Besides serving as Pi O president, secretary of the Feathers, and
a member of Alpha Kappa Delta, jane Cook is outstanding oil the campus as
assistant councilor for the Omaha Camp Fire Girls.
Roller-skating parties, sleigh rides, teas, the Thanksgiving pledge dance,
and the annual Christmas formal dance kept Pi O's near the head of the parade
in social activities this year.
-Ee ' , EEET-
Amentle, Archer, Brown, Burkhart, Burnett, Carr, Christensen, Cook
Dempster, De XVald, Dustin, Eyer, Eyre, Galloway, Gibson, Goethe, Hasty H
Hatfield, Hedelund, Hopkins, Hughes, Jackson, Johnson, Johnston, Kam, lumber
Larson, Manville, Noland, Pankratz, Pottorllf, Str-inert, Turner, Urquhart
Mary Ellen Gibson
. JANE COOK
. RUTH ARCHER
MARY ELLEN GIBSON
. MRS. S. L. WITMAN, MRS. J. W. LUCAS
Rose Mary Hedelund
Alice Jayne Larsen
Mary Pottorff ,
June Ellen Steinert
Ada Jayne Turner
Ackerman, Adams, Ashwood, Barber, Beck, C. Brainard, F, Brainarcl
Casey, Carson, Carter, Corkin, Crapenhoft, Daugherty, Disbrow
Elfrink, Ellison, Fisher, Gant, Grant, Horeis, Harkness
Harriss, l-lassler, Holmstrom, jackson, Johnson, Jolley, Kennedy
Sigma hi Omicron
Sigma Chi Omicron sorority, the oldest chartered Greek organization,
celebrated its twenty-fifth anniversary with the largest chapter on the campus
and with some of its members participating in every activity open to Coeds.
"The Pause that Refreshesn was the theme of the pledge dance, October 28
in the auditorium. Other events of the sorority calendar were the spring formal
dance on March 3 at the Chermot ballroomg a Christmas tea given by the alum-
nae chapterg a roller-skating party given by pledgesg a formal initiation tea, and
an informal initiation party.
Only Omaha U. coeds in "Who's Who on American College Campuses"
were Sig Chi's Harriet Salmon, Alice Jane Vickery, Beth Campbell, and Mar-
Kilbourn, Kincaide, Kinney, Kohn, Kuhn, Lane, Liggett ' .
Lundquist, Majors, Martin, Moon, E. Morris, F. Morris, Norris
Norberg, Pardun, Richards, Salmon,' Spangler. Starrett, Stockman
Sturtevant, Tipton, Vickery, NVestering, Wigton, VK illiams, VK ipprecht
S er geazntf-at-A rms
Mary Anne Beck
Christy Lou Brainarcl
Mary Frances Hassler
. HARRIET SALMON
MARY EDITH MA .IORS
. FRANCES BRAINARD
. CHRISTY LOU BRAINARD, ARLENE ACKERMAN
Miss GERTRUDE KINCAIDE, MRS. E. H. SINNETT
Mary Lou johnson
Helen Marie Kincaide
Betty Claire Kinney
Mary Edith Majors
Eflie Lorraine Stockman
Mary Virginia Sturtevant
Alice Jane Vickery
Lily Beck Daughtery
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Assisting at registration, conduct-
ing tours of the building, handling
concessions at athletic games, and
sponsoring a Scout cheering section
at football games were a few of the
year's activities of the Alpha Theta
chapter of Alpha Phi Omega.
Founded in 1932, the chapter was
admitted into the national fraternity
in May, 1934. In February, in co-
operation with the Federal Bureau
of Investigation, the chapter regis-
tered the fingerprints of over four
hundred students and faculty mem-
bers. In December, the pledge class
sponsored the "Turntable Tramp"
in the University auditorium.
Iuformrzlion . . . Fingerprinting
. Outing . . . Guide Service.
Hollister, Kurtz, XVoods, Bock, Crosby, Forman
Gates, Hansen, Hickson, Lindahl, McLean, Matlacl:
Nixon, Randall, Rankin, Rushlau, Weisman
INCOMIN G OFFICERS
Prendenz . . . ROBERT CROSBY Preiidenf . . . PERRY RUSHLAU
Vice Preiidenz . . JOHN FORMAN Vice-Prefidenz . WILLIAM RANDALL
Secretary . . STERLING HICKSON C owefpomiing Secretary . JOHN FORMAN
Treamrer . RICHARD GATES Secretary-Treasureif . JAY WEISMAN
Hmomm . HAROLD HANSEN Hiizomm . PHILIP LINDAHL
L. M. Bradfield
John W. Kurtz
Wilbur T. Meek
J. E. Woods
Alpha Sigma Lambda
First Greek organization to acquire a house,
Alpha Sigma Lambda fraternity members have
given numerous parties there, both stag and date.
Located at 4804 Capitol avenue, the house has
been a center for the yearls activities.
Besides the house parties, the Alpha Sig's gave
a hayrack party, their "Sport Swingv pledge
dance at the Central club on November 5, and
their formal dance on April 14 at Peony park.
Organized in 1919, this fraternity now has
the highest scholastic average among the frats.
Alpha Sig colors are red and black, their flower
is the American Beauty rose, and their pledges
wear a gold Aladdinls lamp with a ruby as the
'err to Homenzotlvw' Hem'owf'
. The Home . . . Two than of
the lmwz party . . .
Ainsworth, Baker, E. Brown, K. Brown, Burton, Cannell, Carr, Cook
Dawson, Hansen, Heacock, Hefllinger, Jacobson, Jelen, Robert Johnson, Russell Johnson
Kite, Knoll, Kovarik, Krogh, Maxwell, McKenna, Morton, Nelson
Nicholson, Nickerson, Nygren, Peasley, Rickerson, XYalcli, lYendell, VVrigl1t
S ecremry .
H ome Manager .
DR. C. W. HELMSTADTER,
. ROBERT JOHNSON
. SIDNEY LANDERS
. ALLAN KNOLL
. ROBERT HEACOCK
WILBUR T. MEEK, R. B. CRANE
xi 3 ' l
Beta Tau Kappa
Bios, Terprir, Koinoler - "Friendship is the joy of life" - with this key-
note six jewish men on the campus started a fraternity in September, 1932.
They were Morris Fisher, president, William Osheroff, secretary--treasurer, Joe
Greenstone, Max Altshielder, Harold Kort, and Milton Wolsky. Sponsor was
Dr. Claude Stimson of the department of economics. At the end of its first year
the fraternity stood highest scholastically among its brother organizations. Also
at the end of its first school year Beta Tau Kappa received a charter from the
The following year Dr. Wilfred Payne became co-sponsor with Dr. Stim-
son. New members were pledged, among them Macy Baum, later to become
the connecting link between the old Beta Tau Kappa and the present group.
That year C1933-19345 the fraternity fared well, but during the next year the
number of Jewish students in the school, and consequently in the fraternity,
began to decline. At the end of the year 1935-36 Macy Baum was Beta Tau
Kappa. Attempts were made C1936-371 to revive the organization, but not until
May, 1938, was it reorganized. The first semester of 1938-39, BTK was a pledge
organization in the Inter-Fraternity Council, and it assumed active membership
the second semester. Mr. Harry F. Fore is present sponsor.
--Azzzsiz E i
1-ii ia: 2 H -i .
Adler, Alperson, Block, Delrogh, Friedrnan .
Kaplan, Saferstein, Stein, Wolfson, wVS1I15tE1!1
H irtorim .
S pomor .
HARRY F. FORE
Phi Sigma Phi
In 1909, one year after the University was established, Phi Sigma Phi
fraternity was organized. Since that time many traditions have been established,
not the least of which is the annual "Sweetheart Swing" held this year at the
Chermot on February 10. At that time Phi Sig dates received bracelets with
fraternity letters engraved upon them.
Phi Sigs have been prominent in many campus activities this year. Sam
Veneziano is "O" club president, Gerald Claudius was a senior Student Council
member, and Robert Landstrom was vice-president of the Junior class.
Representing the fraternity on the Inter-Fraternity Council are Robert
Meyers and Robert Claudius. Capturing championships in his weight in both
boxing and wrestling was Arthur Vuylstek. Claude Shoemaker was assistant
business manager of the Gateway.
The Phi Sigs won the Inter-Fraternity bowling trophy and took first place
in the intramural touch-football tournament. The Phi Sig Newr, annual fratern-
ity publication, is edited by Leonard Kurtz, Edward Cummings, Walter Peterson,
and Arthur Milow.
li. Harker, I. Barker, Butler. R. Claudius, G. Claudius, Curzon, Cummings, Givens
Hamilton, Irvine, Jensen, johnson, Kurtz, Landstrom, Linn, Mangan v .
Meyers, Milow, Noyes, Pearson, Lynch, Shoemaker, Sorenson, Vuylstek, X eneziano
S ecremr y .
S 12 omorr .
al -1 1 ,Y . 7,, LLL,
. DR. EDGAR A. HOLT, DR. ROYCE WEST
Q cb 5
Theta Phi Delta
Developing from a group of eight men of mutual ideas who in 1915
started a fraternity, Theta Phi Delta today has a record active body of thirty-
This year has proved to be a "prosperous" one for the Theta's since its
membership includes the presidents of three classes: Wade Knapp, senior,
Stuart Sadler, junior, and john Knudsen, freshman. Knudsen, who originated
the freshman slogan, "Quantities of Quality," has also had leads in both "Post
Road" and "Ceiling Zero."
Student Council representatives this year included Wade Knapp and Bill
Morris. Knapp was also president of the Inter-Fraternity Council, John Munt
was the other representative. Under the able leadership of yell leaders Bob
Lehmer, Munt, and Bob Buchanan, school spirit has noticeably increased, at
least at the football and basketball games.
The nautical pledge dance was held in the auditorium November 25. Doc
Lawson played for the dinner-dance formal at the Fontenelle hotel on March 10.
With the exception of two indoor get-togethers, outdoor parties were the pre-
dominant feature of the social program of this year.
Alley, Bernalzo, Bucllanan, Buclcingliarn, Carter, Cliamberliu, Chambers, f:llI'lStE1'lSQl'l, Combs
Covert, Frollardt, Ganlble, Goorl, Grimm, Harris, Hinchcliff, Hughes, Houston
Hust n R. Kna XY. Kna Ku cl '11 l. hm xr M l M rr': M xl'ster M Int
0, pp, pp, use, e e, acc, ons, ami. , 1
Petersen, Reed, Sadler, Smith, Spangler, Thornton, Trexler, X ancura, XY1lliams
. JOHN GOOD
DR. L. H. HARRIS, DR. S. L. WITBIAN
GREEKS ...K s cfm
-jeaii, Virginia, Bimizy
. . . "Deep Purple" . . .
To Elmwooaf - Urqu-
harl and Milow . . .
Comhf and Crapeizhoff
-They aio1i"! like afoo-
Zom' . . . Theta pffeiie
aentf, new and old . , .
Pi Olf .ftroll , . . Mimfh
time for Ureiz ami Dif-
hifow . . . Margenize,
Corky. Amy, Chuck . . .
Iiiterminion - Boreh-
man anal Pankifatz . . .
Phi Delff Ballon, Carl-
Jon, Backlzmd . . . Folk
6id7ZC67'.f, Fee ami Ny-
greiz . . , Thif time iff
Meade . . . Barn party
. . . Alpha Sigfr at the
Theta . , . Iiiler-Sorority
Tea . . .
NEN SENSE BLIND DATE
THE WEAKLY NOOSEMAGAZINE
LE SSE DIRTE
---'-Preoccupied in Anticipation - - --
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VOLUME 9995 PURE CREGULARLY only NUMBER PLEASE
2-31 ? 1 '1 ' 1' f ilm' J ,
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AROUND THE WORLD
250 TIMES A YEAR
Omahays street cars travel more than two-
thirds of the distance around the world every
day- 250 times around the equator every
year! This is in addition to the tremendous
annual mileage of Omaha's large fleet of
buses-all to provide dependable, eco-
nomical transportation for the thousands
who have no other way of getting about.
r l E
MAHA ff EGU Ell BUJFFS STREET RAI lW Y C0
Let's Be Kind to Animals
Being a college professor I am sure that
my views on "Let's be Kind to Animals"
week will be of utmost interest.
Yesterday when I ran into our bathroom I
saw my dog in the manger twell, not exactly
a mangerj. Quietly kicking him aside, I went
about my business. When I finally left, there
was no immediate resumption of activities on
the part of the dog, which is beside the point.
My act, at first glance, may seem like cruel
and inhuman treatment, but I can assure you
there are justifications for my attitude.
ln the the iirst place, I was in a hurry. In
the second place, our dog was a pampered pup
and I simply had to show him who was and who
was not wearing the pants in our family.
Getting back to "I.et's be kind to animals"
DOWN TOWN STORE
1611 FARNAM STREET
Finest Pastries and Tasty Lunches
OLD ENGLISH INN
5004 Dona: STREET
Noon-day Lunches and
Week, I offer this observation. Nobody is go- il
ing to tell me how to kick my dog. ' -
Takeita, Miss. IIODERIC CRANE C O M P A N Y N
The Finish g Y-
Is it true that the University of Omaha is
to become a finishing school, due to the deluge
of freshmen who need polishing off? A C N E E N
- v .- ,- ' l l
Askmyy Pa. SQI LAK l ORE
We are twenty-one years old. We go to
college. Therefore, we think big thoughts.
Yesterday while we were laying in bed we
thought a big thought indeed. This is it.
As long as Europe exists we are going to
have European situations. If it ain't Hitler, it's
somebody else. All the time people come to us
because we are twenty-one years old and col-
lege students asking for advice on what to
think about the European situation.
We think that as long as Europe exists we
are going to have European situations. Then
last night we thought another big thought.
Why not do away with Europe? No more situ-
ations or nothing.
We think it is pretty good. What do you
think? BILL SLAYTON
Auto Sales Inc.
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Home Ojfice . . . OMAHA
DE E. BRADSHAW, Pretidenz
T. E. PATTERSON, Vine-Pmidem
FARRAR NEWBERRY, Secretary
We Are Against Wooing
This is written in protest against the nar-
row views of the VV.A.A.W. at Omaha U.
Especially their attitude on wooing in the
cafeteria. Why people can't be more broad-
minded about this, when it is obviously none
of their business, is beyond us.
Of course, in this group there are undoubt-
edly people who are sincere in their beliefs,
but we believe that the majority of the mem-
bers are merely people who are green with
For Science's Sake
After much scientific experimentation, I
have arrived at a satisfactory combination of
gooseberries and anchovies. First I took and
warshed my hands. Then I dried them. Pick-
ing up the gooseberries, one at a time, I care-
fully pinched tbem to see were they alive. I
split them precisely down the center and
sandwiched a grilled anchovy between the
halves of each. Then I ate them, every one.
Please excuse my writing, as I am propped
up in the emergency operating room.
Yours till death us do part,
NVIiA li LY NOOSITINIAGAZI N I'
EDITOR Helen J. Mickna
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS David Hill, Ruth
ASSISTANTS Julie Lane, Robert Schleh
Address all complaints to the Headache
Bureau, Bayer Bldg., I Aspirin Ave., Chicago,
Subycfiplion nzteff First Year 4 We D9-Y YOU!
Second year 1 you pay us. Fair enough, ain't
Claaaga- Two weeks' notice required before
attack. Give us time.
If you use our news, don't blame usg it's
been abused before.
COPYRIGHT, OR DON'T COPY AT ALL. ALL RIGHTS
RESERVED UNDER COVER, 1939, BY GRIME, HIC.
Vol. 994J7mufQ2 Pure G I N f I I E Blind Date
THE XVEAK LY NOOSEMAGAZI NE
Art for Art's Sake
Golden Spike Days of April gave rise to une
usual excitement at the Vniversity of Omaha.
Murder, in the cafeteria, pure and unadulter-
ated, shook the foundations of the student
body. which forthwith protested against such
goings on, petitioned the Deans to put a stop
to it. The Deans immediately banned all such
activity in the cafeteria, sanctioned the deci-
sion of the court to apprehend the murderer.
Shia xcH'1' Son'i41+1'lilne
. . . jlllfd' lux zzxizul .vfi'i'i'l1 . , .
lt was the brilliant speech of Scracht Socke
duerr, prosecuting attorney, and the sibilant
squealing of abnormal psychiatrist Carolina
Green which revealed the identity of the real
murderer, supposed professor Clayton De-
Said suspect lluffbaby, drying his tears and
smiling weakly, "I told you all the time l
didunt do it . . . "
lt was an emotional trial throughout. Puff-
bahy had called in his "friend and colleague"
Hellady to defend him against the wiles of the
shrewd Sockduerr, who gave his usual speech
of ilattery to the gullible jury. Hellady called
in the village idiot. Terse lllie. VVith almost
imbecilic tendencies, the lad declared under
heavy grilling that Puffhaby was guilty. F6lgIlA
in: surprise, Hellady quickly turned the case
over to the jury, when wild-eyed Carolina
Green rushed to the front, hissed through her
false teeth: "The sniper, he shot him. Hellady
done it. He ilunked me in Government, too.
L .xicoI.1x.x Cnuilix
llur xilvziizllt .n11m1lz'11g1 rilzrlzrzl if.
After much coaxinfz, Hellady was persuad-
ed to tell the secret of his success a mur-
derer. He had come upon his intended victim,
Lesse Dirte, in the cafeteria on that fated day.
Sl'Sl'l2C'l' I'1'i-'ifmizv Cil'N"li1l'l'lili HEl.l..-XIIX' i1lll.l.Y liimix
. , , lllfylllfl lzix ryrx . . . lu' 111113 qzrivtly 5110? A1112 llirtv. "C'lc1yfir m:.m1l:i'l1ys
and .vnlilizlg zvrfikly. .fllI'llIjj mr f'IU'lj'f1IZIIfj.Y.. .'
Under cover of blank cartridges exploding' in
honor of the l'nion Pacific, he had quietly
shot Mr. Dirte, who at the time was preoccu-
pied in anticipation of the joy of seeing Shir-
ley Temple in "The Little Princess." He was
never to experience that joy.
Placing his arm in a comradely fashion
about Mr. Dirte's Waist, gun-toter Hellady,
with his victim, staggered out of the cafeteria
and into the library stacks, where he depos-
ited his burden. lt was there that Artiste Pull'-
baby, blithely making a sketch of the dead
corpse, was arrested. Upon being questioned,
he asserted he was a realist.
Motive for the crime shone in the diamond
bracelet Worn by pretty, blond Polly Bugin.
"Claytie was always giving me purty things,"
she admitted. "He said that he hated for me
to be slaying away for that tyrant, Mr. For-
est." The bracelet, it seemed had been given
to Mr. Dirte by his fiancee, who had entreated
him to pawn it and buy a clean shirt.
Special mention by her newspaper was given
to Emptime Nosim, cub reporter who scooped
her more celebrated colleagues when the
judge, her uncle, loaned her the use of his
private phone. Also commended for his untir-
ing work on the case was radio dramatist
D. Avid Slope. He gave an inspiring account
flu: liici-oiz'1'1cR Noism lJRAMA'I'lS'l' l J. .:XVlllSl,4ll'Ii
,S't'00f'n"d fzm'111m'i' "II Ivu.vl1m'1'i1v1c. . ."
of the whole aifair over the Red Neckwear
chain from the Cowpath News oflice.
The payoff came when the sleek Mr. Hel-
lady was ordered to repeat daily, in his lec-
tures as punishment, "Let us keep good gov-
Kleptomanic Takes a Holiday
The world's leading foreign diplomats met
last week for an informal social gathering at
the Lakeside retreat fnote closely-barred
windowsy of Klepto1nania's Klepter, Rudolf
llcher. l'hotoQ,'raphed as they were about to
reporters, mumbled automatically into his
beer, "Vud else?"
Both visitors were overwhelmed by kind-
ness of host llcher. Used to handling diplo-
mats with kid gloves, Rudolf gravely smoked
his pipe as he favored the press with his cus-
tomary Mona Lisa look. And the playboys
continued to guzzle the beer.
Upon reaching the saturation point with his
CANIFIICLIJ, IA MAI-'oo1., ILCHIQR
Ting' ranzr, ilzry .vu-zu, flwy cuzzftvwcd.
enter the ice-box for a cold snack and beer,
the three deterniiners of world crises com-
mented briefly on future plans.
Said jovial 13111116 Sir Canfield, guardian of
Euroifs back yards: "Rally, old chawp, this
is a social visit, don'cha know, I cawn't say
much at this time." The binionacled Briar-
lander is an inveterate parachute jumper, us-
ually opens his 'chute in rainy weather be-
cause of atmospheric pressure.
Gap-toothed Istvan Iamafool, door-keeper
of Ukanavmiland ibut they keep coming in
the windowsb, uses his ears to keep his hat
from blinding him. He smiled broadly at the
playmates, the taciturn Kleptomanian planned
to cease sociabilities and get down to business.
He failed, however, to reckon with Istvan's
ability to stretch the point. The argument be-
came heated, the gentlemen shed their coats,
and Rudolf, pipe still in mouth, soon had
HOST TLCHER, :XFFAIZLE lsrv.-xN
Rudolf had lzim tied in knofx . . .
Istvan tied in knots. This negative situation
frightened the affable Istvan, always a yes-
man, and he immediately gave in-on one
condition. "You can have all the dirty old land
you want," he sobbed pitifully, "so long as
you leave my stamp collection be."
School of Business ,
Entering Upon Its 49th Year
ALL YEAR -- CO-EDUCATIONAL
DAY ond EVENING '
Entrance, 207 S. 19th St., JA. 5890
IONE C. DUFFY, owner
Pictures Tell the Story
. . . The First Essential of a Good
Engraving is a Good Photograph
LOUIS R. BOSTWICK
781 Brandeis Theatre Bldg., Phone JA. 0848
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Education last sumnier went West, as so
much education does, to higher planes. Mam-
moth vans, pure white, and black, transferred
books, desks, ash trays, and other stray bits
Nl A MMOTH XVANS
Edumtion tvmzt Uferf.
. , . lzzrned to uaturr.
Tlzvy were all fmt,
of information from the scattered
of the old campus to the concentrated archi-
tecture of the present.
In the old days, the students did the con-
centrating midst diverting iniluences of falling
plaster, C2llll'lCi0l1S literary niice, screaming
trolleys, ice and hail, and spring. With Bacon, i . C O N S U L T . 0 .
the students as one exclaimed, UAdV81'SltY
l . . . jlifvfaizfly 'wow llzriz' .vl1i1'l.v.
Survivals of the fittest came back for the
fallkand then came the fall. They runnnaged
in the debris for the knowledge and stuff
they had left behind, only to find it had gone
the Way of all. Gone was the kissing ring
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SCHMOLLER 8: MUELLER
1516 Dodge Street . . . OMAHA
Largest RCA-Victor Store
made famous by A. J. V. and Smoocher Hillg
gone was the House of Frankenstein infested
once by live things and deadg gone was the
greased flag-pole which had elevated more
than one freshman mind, Everything was
Pioneers of the reactionary movement
turned to nature for comfort and four-leaf
clovers. They studied nature assiduously and
learned much. In lighter veins of humor, the
youngsters flocked to the fountain of youth,
reveled in its refreshing wetness. They were
all wet. I
. . . on the ufv-g1'adv."
Freshmen of the new school were of the
rugged type, frequently grew beards and went
shirtless to illustrate their manliness. A few
less extreme individuals kept their shirts but
Wore them flippantly on the outside. They l
were sweat. l
The girls in brief attire stood about in
groups of two and laughed. When approached
by an inquiring reporter, of which there are
none who are not, they laughingly explained
the reason for a girl's popularity. "Poys!"
they laughed and then calmly went on laugh-
ing as though nothing had happened.
School officials were definitely pleased with QUICKSANDS
the trends in education. Beaming Prexy 'H , . of knowledge."
There is no method of producing electricity, or type
of ownership - federal, municipal or otherwise -
that could bring to our customers better service or
cheaper rates, than they can get from the . .
NEBRASKA POWER COMPANY
Haynes, escorting suspicious alums about the
spacious campus, pointed impolitely, but none-
theless proudly. Said he, "Education is de-
cidedly on the up-grade." And Dean Edgar
Allen Holt, with a far-away look in his good
right eye, poetically supplemented, "We are
fairly swimming in the quick-sands of knowl-
as I PT'
In y ,
"II 'U will lmre mulz ollzcr . . .
In a vain etTort to acclimate themselves to
the air conditioning, the oldsters sweated and
toiled over their books in the library. Finally
throwing caution to the winds, they too mi-
grated to the great out-doors to join the romp-
ing freshmen. Lost in the newness of life, they
turned to each other and sighed, "We still
have each other, dear."
Fast Plays on the Mud-Flats
Up We Go or The Devil Takes o Ride. The
swamp angels of Poverty Gulch were treated
last Week to drama on a higher level when
the Wandering Troubadours momentarily
ceased wandering, camped on Omaha's back-
door step for a one-night show. The natives
were craning their necks in an attempt to
keep up with the elevated plane upon which
the action was performed.
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We feature America's most modernistic, stream
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Playing the title-role, Cue O. Quality lived
his part, did everything but spit fire. Critics
agreed it was 21 nice evening.
, J UN, Ilmxmc, I'l1cNt'Hm.'xx
Triffwd up by tr lwlmzdt' , . .
Plot ol' the drznna paints Paris at ruddy hue,
ninch to the ho1'i'o1' ot the Parisites, a quiet,
peace-loving' people. The Devil, in a salvaged
ZLI'l11y crate, goes into at dive, seeks new pas-
tures in which to do his dirty work. Tripped
np by at red-hot blonde, he disgnstedly gives
up his position of head hell-raiser, und, in his
little Choo-Choo plane, flies oft' into the no-
where, leaving the audience np in the air.
Final scene has the Inferno king down in the
dithers with his hefty henchmen soothing' his
ll21l1f5OV9l'. All hell runs loose and the audience
Said one old-timer, "Dztown hyztr, the lnen
are nien and the women are chaste." With
that cryptic criticisni, he spit eight feet.
'lilzvy .wmllzvd lzix llnzzgu-:'w'.
. . . 'impudently thumbed her nose . . .
Poe Shade, Stark Horror stalked the stage
as the shades of past scribes and poets gath-
ered to honor Edgar Allan Poe in an annual
celebration of the Murders in the Rue Morgue.
Everyone was present except the main char-
acter, the Ourang-Outang. A short comedy,
"Our Gang Outing," was presented to com-
pensate in some measure for the mayor's ordi-
nance against allowing the squat gorilla upon
the stage. "Though the people of Omaha sel-
dom misbehave," his excellency unsmilingly
explained, "still they might get ideas."
Omission of the main character detracted
but slightly from the spice of the play. Shakes-
peare's clowns turned summer-salt after sum-
mer-salt, and Longfellow jumped red-hot pep-
per. The second act featured a dice game
among the principals to decide who was to
entertain next year. DeQuincey got the bid,
deferred his invitation to cooler weather.
The climax fell with a crash in the third
and last act when Lady Macbeth impudently
thumbed her nose at Poe, who modestly
claimed he could write circles around her cre-
ator. The act was Iinished in darkness.
A rowdy, but appreciative audience went
away with the feeling that here was a play
of depth and mystery. Certainly the author
must have experienced much to have written
such tragic undertoe into his drama.
Critics also gave it a tragic undertoe, even
put their whole sole into it.
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Having turned down an offer of a cool mil-
lion from the Chicago Cubs, the once famous
Lefty Coleman Was sent preelnptorily to the ex-
clusive institution in Cherokee, Iowa. Said he
sulkily, "Dey Wun't gimme me board 'n'
room." Retitled "Lunging Lefty" by fellow
inmates, the silly southpaw was photographed
as he was about to lunge. A few seconds later,
. . . ulwzif In Illllg1'.
however, the photographer was pulling par-
snips out of his hair. The guards explained
Ballplayer Coleman couldn't resist hurling a
few curves now and then.
To perplexed fellow students who stood
about and fumed while she calmly crammed
for her exams, blond, screwballish Evelyn Glqd
bemoaned her ignorance. Said she, "I have a
photographic mind . . . but it's never been
Back to her post at the information desk
went Mqigie Lipp, A-1 stenographer of the Glass
Pains Hotel, after a solid hour of fruitful con-
verse with her bosom-friend, Mabel. Chief
topic of verbal competition was the man on
the third floor back. Said Mouth-contortionist
Maizie, 'iAnd whadya think, Mabel? He gave
me a box of chocolates . . ."
. , . uftvr u .wlid lmzzr' of . . . ton cnc.
In Omaha, Dayton E, Hegkmqn, en route to
the California Wo1'ld's Fair for a late engage-
ment, paused for a smoke. Between puffs, the
handy-eared hunlan holocaine condescended
to have his picture taken displaying both bi- A
lateral appendages. Asked whether the abnor-
H A NIPY-1':ARliIJ H :cc R R1 A N
"I uxcd to bt' a follogc lv'ofux.wr'
For over 64 years
Supplying the best in:
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Hats . . . Horns
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1316 Farnam Streel'
mal growth was congenital, Heckman sneered
slightly, replied, "No, and I used to be a col-
lege professor." "Exhibitionism," he added,
"is lll0I'6 to my tasteggbesides, I make more
Interviewed in the Bronx Zoo, internation-
ally famous zoologist Robert Ward threw pea-
nuts to his favorite monkey, beamed proudly
at the photographer. Said the red-haired nat-
uralist: "Monkeys often look askance at usg
they Wonder if perhaps we shouldnlt be on the
other side of the fence." To demonstrate,
he agilely climbed over the partition, scratched
his head. Flea-bitten monkey kept the peanuts.
Cfltlllgfd plairvx -rviilz thc znuzzkcy.
Calling himself the man who never makes
the same mistake once, bachelor Jay Weisman
observed to colleagues at the Hfth annual Free
Thinkers' convention that all girls have i1n-
promptu complexions. "They 'make them up
as they go along," said he. "And that ain't
all," he screeched, "in these days of necking
and cosmetics, about all a girl has time to do
is to kiss and make-up."
To dense 1ne111bers of his class in "Aero-
nautics in Relation to Egg Laying" tousled,
titian Professor Ralph Kline exploded: "This
class reminds me of Kaffee Hag - 99 per cent
of the active element has been removed from
Most U. of O, students know that Huffman
writes Herring stories twhich smelly, but they
do not know that among themselves subsist
certain esoterics who have dabbled in phonet-
ics. Hanky Sir and Hell in Mickna, Gate-
swingers, theoreticians of nutsy art, procras-
tinators, and propaganders, spent the first few
years of their university careers studying.
Then, during the Christmas vacation of 1938,
they chanced to see a Parkyakarkus version
of "Jack and Jill," became inspired. The fol-
lowing year saw the publication of Hanky and
Hell in's own reversion "Parodies Loosed,"
subtitled "Reek Reative Poe Tree, For Better
or For Verse." CQuart volumes, 1939 evic-
The poetry of "Parodies Loosed" is so sub-
tle it is absolutely low-down. Even their clos-
est friends are in the darkg it saves on elec-
Preparatory sentence: "Dear Public, we
love you! We transform the old rhymes into
something . . . "
"Seem pole sigh monk
Mad ape I moan
Goo wink tooth affair.
Says him bulls eye man
Tooth a bye man,
'Lit mussy oar wheres!
HG vlf PF
"Alma the tub bard
Wind dew hiccup bird
Two fats Herbert aw! Capone.
Baa twin shiek ought their
Suck aboard we spare
Answer harper dog got nun."
:ls 24 PF
"Raw cob I bay bee
Henna treat upg
Window in blows
Thackeray dull Wheeler ach!
Winter barb rakes
Thackeray dull willfulg
Don welcome bay beak
Raid hell annul."
The last pages of the book bare a touch
of classic . . .
The HEY STUDIO
604 Paxton Block
West Farnam Roller Palace
ROLLER SKATE FOR HEALTH
AND BEAUTY AT THE
West Farnam Roller Palace
4016 Farnam Street
We will manage Carler Lake Club Rink
during lhe summer monlhi.
TO THE FACULTY
AND STUDENT BODY
0 We extend our sincere
appreciation of your
splendid cooperation in
the success of the publi-
cations of The University
"Stolen waltz doughnut ape raison meg, N
No rye run bar sack age,
Mine sin oh! scent an quiet ache
That foreign her mitt age."
One thing "Parodies Loosed" proves is that "
whatever the authors set out to do, for all we
know, they did it.
BUSINESS AND FINANCE
Lead One Point Up
University of Omaha faculty and student
circles buzzed with excitement when they
learned that chubby Prexy Rowland Haynes'
requisition for a new lead pencil was filled
out by precise Bursar Looie Crenshaw in less
than a week.
The unprecedented movement took the ad-
ministrative oiiices completely aback, left
only a breathless silence. When smoke had
cleared away and staffs could think clearly
again, Grime endeavored to sound out public
opinion, sent a reporter to various corners of
the country to see what he could see.
First encounter was Big Shot Robert
Schleh. Grime reporter had a break-down
similar to shellshock, but got entire conversa-
Reporter: "Well, Mr. Schleh, what do you
think of the peculiar activities of the Bursar's
Schleh: "Well, when I was in New York, I
saw . . ."
Rep.: "Yes, I know, but what we want to
know is . .
Schleh: "I have an uncle who went to . .
The reporter mumbled something under his
breath and continued: "Yes, but . . ."
Schleh: "Well, this uncle he went to . .
Rep.: "Please, all we want to know is . .
Schleh: "Say, got your car with you?"
Schleh: "Have you got a dollar?"
Rep.: "Yes, but . .
Schleh: "Good, let's whip down to the Deal
and get a beah."
Grime reporter has since talked only gib-
berish, seems only vaguely conscious of pres-
Finance Secretary Hoofbitz last week
called in treasury books from all campus or-
ganizations, including the Boy Scout frater-
Grime reporter got on his trail, stalked him
about the halls. Mutterings which floated be-
hind the harassed secretary's motor activi-
ties smacked of the shadow of Hastings:
"Cash receipts to balance flowers for ban-
quet tea for two dues paid out income tax
secretary's book initiation fee farewell to
arms debits credits in the hole you know I
mean it -"
Finally catching the berserk fellow in his
oflice, the persistent reporter asked him was
he having trouble.
Said he in a l1l0l1i9d voice: "No, I am
studying for examinations."
With that ironic innuendo, he jerked from
his stuffed pockets scads of bills and papers,
threw them high in the air. Grinning asinine-
ly, he carried on a bit of gay repartee with
himself. He suddenly became serious, asked
the astonished reporter for two cents. Upon
being obliged, he immediately offered to
match pennies, but the resourceful reporter
hastily made his exit after snatching a trial
balance from the floor.
Example of reports turned in may be seen
in the illegible accounts of the Boy Scout
Cash on hand ................................,,........,..... S .02
Postage stamp tuncancelledy ...,..... .02
3 beer bottles tunreturnedj ......, .06
17 Raleigh coupons .................... .66f'Z1
2 pr. of dice floadedj ......... .20
1 apple tdessicatedj ...... .. .01
Hush money ..................,, ..... . ..... 1 ,500.03
Dues ..,.................. ..... . 35
Total ....... ................................................ SS 1,501.353y4
Suit for liable ........ N .................................. 31,000.00
11 Letters to Mayor Butler .....,... ..... . 22
Orchids for President's girl ............... 150.00
3 bottles of beer Cincl. bottlesj ...... .36
17 packages of Raleighs ........................ 2.55
To treasurer to keep him honest... 500.00
Slot machine confiscated ............,,,...... 100.00
Special delivery to Mayor Butler... .12
Total ........,.. ......... S 1,753.25
In the hole ...... ..,.. 2 51.89M1
To balance ........,............................................. 31,501.35M
P.S.-The treasurer was too bashful to put
it down on paper.
Former Git Wee Editor Sooey Jins, re-
cently granted a patent on his Versatile Chop-
Sticks created during a spare moment of idle-
ness, sat in his ash-littered oiiice, fumed at
Extremely popular in Chinese eating
houses here, the Sticks caused considerable
pickup in Chop Suey consumption. Users
maintain that not only can they be used in
the traditional manner of the Old World, but
they are blessed with additional talents of
modern civilization. The new gastronomical
implements are hollow cylinders, with side
Result: slurping of soup becomes an aes-
thetic pleasure. All over, simple tunes are be-
ing played with help of booklets furnished
free with purchase. Automatic vacuum takes
care of any stray leper fingers lurking about.
On one chop-stick is attached removable
toothpick for immediate use after tasty gruel
has been eaten, on the other is a unique
back-scratcher for further comfort. Final
touch is cigarette holder on the remaining
end, capped by a tiny ash-tray which mys-
teriously disposes of ashes as they accumu-
Point of dispute between the curly-headed
American and his viscous promoters, Sonny-
boy .lunge and C. Fooed Huston, had Chop
Suey customers in a temporary stew. Money-
grabbers Huston and .lunge maintained they
could clean up the platter by exporting the
handy gadgets to China and points west. Fol-
low-up plans would have the Chinese and
point-westers grabbing at the idea tooth and
nail. Jins objected on grounds that the Orien-
tals might convert his invention into instru-
ments of war. make bean-shooters with which
to mow down invading Japanese.
Said he: "I refuse to aid or abet in any
way, consciously or unconsciously, any form
of militarism, even the R.O.T.C. I am a paci-
fist." Roared cowlick-topped Huston: "All
right for you, then-I won't let you dust
pianos for me any more!" Reporters found
it ditiiicult to wrest an intelligible response
from wax-eared S. B. Junge, who gibbered
inanely, tore at his minute moustache.
Cleflflefs Upholsfery, l
FUR STORAGE W'
DRE SHER BRO TIIERS L
40 YEARS OF DEPENDABLE SERVICE
ATlcnfic 0345 CALL DRESHER BROTHERS MArkel' 0050
l W - 7-Y 7,7 l
Peas and Hominy for Katz Sake
Most surprising event in the cafeteria last
year, excluding dish-breaking, loud-speaking
system, abolition of bridge-playing, Window
exits, bread-throwing, impromptu conferences,
Liberal club serenades, Nickelodeon trial and
error, raise in prices, doughnut dunking,
heavy drinking tcokesl, coffee-spilling, nefa-
rious necking, back-scratching, back-biting,
straw-snapping, food consumption, was the
synchronized silence observed by two under-
sized rats, name of Ferdie and LeRoy, on the
eve of February 13.
Regular inhabitants of the refrigerator, the
rollicking rodents coldly stared at their in-
quisitor, froze him with a glance.
Said Ferdie to the eventually thawed-out
reporter, t'We have been after a low-downg
cockroach who calls himself Archie, and
when we catch him, we are going to curl his
legs and have us a cockroach stew."
Twitching his nose disdainfully, long-
whiskered chum Lelloy aired a number of
grievances against management of the cafe-
teria: ill they are continually cutting their
feet on bits of broken glass smashed by care-
less financial secretariesg 121 joyful anticipa-
tion turns to deep disappointment when ap-
parently luscious insects become wayward
cigarette ashesg 437 heartless dishwashers
leave nothing but stray smears of salad dress-
ing on. the plates.
"lt's making an acid of our stomachs,"
Reason for the silent meditation was a
vague premonition in Ferdie's left ear that
their hours on this earth were numbered.
"We came to college to get an education,"
he explained. "VVe left our ignorant mammy
and pappy and eleven brothers and sisters in
the countryg we should be river-rats all our
lifes, when we could just as well learn to live
like college students. Well, we learnedg but
it seems we know too much. That is our sad
He dried his tears, went on: "After tonight
we will be no moreg but first We have to get
Archie for snitching on us, the dirty rat."
Strangely enough, his premonition was
right, as the persistent reporter dicovered
upon his return next day at noon. But wheth-
er the Brothers Rat got Archie, and what
happened to cause their untimely end, he
never knew, He had meat pie for lunch.
V W ,,
i Compliments of
H . A. lacobbcrgcr
REFINITE WATER SOFTENERS
WITH REFINITE ZEOLITEY
fnjoy perfect soft water from every tap! Makes bathing luxurious
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