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Page 93 text:
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5 L , gr 'Rita - F 5 K g. ll M 'Ghz Sopbomoreis warning to Ewo of 'Agnes' Cooking lbe ffresbies I :Recipes ' ' You students in the Freshy class Don't study as you shouldg You're strong on dates and fussing, But you'd better now be good. The grades are in the ofice And will soon be going home, And when you hear what dad says You sure will need to groan. Chem. ,floem In Chemistry lab. one day ' We made some awful stulfg The manual called it H2S, But it smelled like something else, I guess! It smelled like hens' eggs put away, Forgotten and left there to decay. The class with one accord arose, With hands uplifted to the nose, And there was heard an awful roar, As the Chem. class crowded for the door. But that odor stuck like 'lasses 'Till Doctor Plum called the classes. I had a little dog, His name was August. . August was fond of jumping at conclusions. He was especially fond of jumping at a cow's con- clusion. , But one day he jumped at a mule's conclusion. The next day was the first of September. I t's a deep one! Scratch your belfry! HELEN- I would never marry anyone but a hero. SKID- YOU couldn't. OLE INGERSOLL- Got water in my ear! DOCTOR--H Been swimmin'? OLE-H No, eatin' watermelon! Good Roast One student, with an unprepared lesson, is meat for a good roast. Keep in hot water during the recitation, place over the fire of faculty wrath and boil for twenty minutes, season with hot words and peppery temper. Cool slowly and examine carefully. Individual Stuffed Summer Squash Take one Sophomore, one-half dozen exam- inations, three untinished note books, mix well with a good game of tennis and one bean, and serve at the end of twenty minutes. ' ALFRED THOMSEN: . A certain tall Sophomore youth Confesses he has a sweet tooth,- So he isn't scarey Of going to Dairy To enjoy the sweet things there forsooth. There once was a maiden named Stubbs, Who had a hard time being good, Quoth she: ,It's a shame ' On me to place blame, For of course I 'd behave if I could. HARRY PIERCE! He's a football player and a ladies' man too, And in dormitory etiquette all things he can dog H e's well versed in grammar, he talks it each night, And in all debating you'll find he's just right! I had a little pony, and it was dapple gray, I loaned it to a lady on examination day,- She wore him and she tore him, and she threw him on the floor, I 'll never lend my horse again, henceforth forevermore! . it ,
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Page 92 text:
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, ,fs QT fU47Ks? Q B V, 1, . r t . P gi . P is if if X PM 4' Yncatituocs Blessed be the plunders of a class, for?-theirs is the joy of taking them over. Blessed are those who study, for theyllshall receive a reward. Blessed are they Whose note-books axidlapproved, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they that hunger and tliilst after mother's cooking, for they shall receive dormitory hash. Blessed are they that criticize, for thdfy shall receive criticism. Blessed are the pikers, for they shallliileed much mercy. Blessed are they that mourn, Whethdlllshey are comforted or not. Blessed are the Sophomores, for thelilrildoise is exceedingly great and is an ever- present help in the time of trouble. Blessed are the faculty, for their merdj? is great, and greater shall be their reward, Gen Commcmomcnts therghou shalt not cross the dormitory dortal after 10 P. M., when Miss Corbin is II. Thou shalt not skip classes lest the wrath of Prof. Bradford be visited upon thee, - and thou shalt be no more. III. Thou shalt not talk with maidens in the library lest the Wrathful eye of Miss Noble shalt fall upon thee. IV. Thou shalt honor thy paternal ancestors with frequent letters lest thy remittance shalt fail thee. ' V. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors examination paper, for ye see not the guilty stain on them e'er they return. VI. Thou shalt harken unto the voice of the faculty and keep thy countenance smiling, lest thy low, grades at the office shalt detain thee and keep thee in thy present estate. VII. Thou shalt buy a HSHUCKSH, for yea verily it is thy duty. VIII. Thou shalt go to Prof. Bradford, for yea verily he can do everything if anything is amiss. IX. Thou shalt not presume to stand before Prof. Plum unless thy gray matter has been sufiiciently stirred. X. Thou shalt not give the Sophomore yell in convocation lest the 'wrath of Prof. Bradford smite thee. , i..i.mm:m
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