University of Missouri College of Engineering - Shamrock Yearbook (Columbia, MO)
- Class of 1916
Page 1 of 97
Pages 6 - 7
Pages 10 - 11
Pages 14 - 15
Pages 8 - 9
Pages 12 - 13
Pages 16 - 17
Text from Pages 1 - 97 of the 1916 volume:
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The QYEEII ?LittIe sbamrnnk-of Erelauh
There's a dear little plant that grows in our isle,
'Twas St. Patrick himself sure that set it:
And the sun on his labor with pleasure did smile,
And with dew from his eye often wet it.
It thrives through the bog, through the brake, and the mirelandg
And he called it the dear little shamrock of Ireland-
The sweet little shamrock, the dear little shamrock,
The sweet little, green little, shamrock of Ireland!
This dear little plant still grows in our land:
Fresh and fair as the daughters of Erin,
Whose smiles can bewitch, whose eyes can command,
ln each climate that they may appear ing
And shine through the bog, through the brake, and the mireland,
Just like their own dear little shamrock of Ireland.
The sweet little shamrock, the dear little shamrock,
The sweet little, green little, shamrock of Ireland!
This dear little plant that springs from our soil, ,
When its three leaves are extended,
Denotes that on one stalk we together should toil,
And ourselves by ourselves be befriendedg
And still through the bog, through the brake, and the mireland.
From one root should branch, like the shamrock of Ireland.
The sweet little shamrock, the dear little shamrock,
The sweet little, green little, shamrock of Ireland! i
ANDREW CHERRY C1762-18125.
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wlwo during flue longtime flwat lwe has een 1n
. tlme Englneerlng acul llas always proved to
o 1 be a loyal rien o e stu ents, IQI6
S amroclc is respect ully dedicated.
PROFESSCR W. S. WILLIAMS
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Florin Wallace Floyd N'
Representatwe of St patrlclc
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Blunt gfZII1'lE5'jFTK4lIHll5lilI1U, QI. QE., W. QI. QE.
Born in Wisconsin, january 9, 1864.
Early education received in the schools
of Wisconsin and Iowa. Graduated as
civil engineer from Cornell College in
1888. From this time until 1896 fol-
lowed the practice of civil and mining
engineering in California and Oregon.
Served as city engineer of Salem, Ore-
gon, I8Q2'-96. Received graduate schol-
arship in Cornell University in 1896 and
after a year's study was granted degree
of M. C. E. Served as instructor in
Cornell for three years. During IQOO
and 1901 in private practice in railway
and sanitary engineering. Returned to
Cornell in IQO2, serving as assistant pro-
fessor in civil engineering until 1907.
After one year at the University of Ala-
bama as professor of civil engineering,
entered the University of Washington
at Seattle, Washington, as professor of
municipal engineering. Came to Mis-
souri University in 1914. While in Se-
attle served as member 'of the State
Board of Health and was President of
the Board for two years.
He has always been in favor of this
celebration, and has given- the students
the right to celebrate the day of their
patron Saintg and to this end all of us
are glad to welcome him as Honorary
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1-1oNoRARY KNIGHT. , N
, 451111 Qburic gkemtun, ZH. .5 in JBL QE.
On this glorious 17th of March, 1916,
Mr. G. D Newton knelt befor
. e our rep-
resentative of Saint Patrick, and in sin-
cere proof of his faith, kissed the Blar-
Mr. Newton was born on the 28th of
April, 1870, in Watervliet, Michigan.
His early education was obtained in his
home schools, a small part of his time
was spent at the Ann Arbor High
School. Later on he attended the Uni-
versity of Michigan, where in 1896 he
received the Bachelor of Science de-
gree in mechanical engineering. Before
attending the university, he spent three
years in the machine shops at Rochester
e might have practical
in order that h
knowledge. Then from 1896 to 1898 he
was with the National Supply Company
at Toledo, Ohio. Then for a few years
he was chief draftsman and designer for
several of the large Eastern steel firms.
And in 1911, he accepted a position as
mechanical engineer with the Carnegie
Steel Works, here until 1913 he worked.
Then he came to this university and
since then he has been one of the
teachers of mechanical drawing and
machine design. A
All of the engineers joyously wel-
come him into their order, for they all
know that he has always been in favor
of their celebration, and has assisted in
many ways to make that celebration a
success. Such a man as this will make
a most valued Knight, and we will al-
ways remember him who received the
degree March 17, 1916.
2 3655555 ego
C. J. HUBBARD.
Witli Apologies to Kipling.
Vifhen our last survey is taken,
And the last map is plotted and inked,
Viflien the oldest camp is forsaken,
And the youngest uroughneckn has died,
Vlfe shall rest, and faith we shall need it,
Lie down for an eon or two,
Till the Master Engineer shall call us,
And command that we survey anew.
And those that could design shall he happy,
They shall never rise before noon,
Their power plants shall all be in Eden,
They shall work by the light of the Tungsten
And only Archangels shall help them,
The Saints shall respond to their call,
They shall erect but one transmission in a century
And never he Weary at all.
There nothing but praise shall he printed
In reviews of the engines they have madeg
And nothing but Efs shall be given
Each hour, when the engineers are paid,
.Each one, in joy and contentment,
To his home in some separate star.
Shall motor, a cheruh to drive him,
A "million-horse" comet his car.
be first ngineer
OR quite a number of years, the
patronage paid to St. Patrick by
the Engineers of Missouri Uni-
A l versity fand now at Oklahoma,
Arkansas, Rolla School of Mines and
Amesj has caused people unacquainted
with the legend to wonder not a little
at the connection. We will here at-
tempt to explain how it has been proven
that St. Patrick was the only first and
original Engineer. ,
The bearer of the illustrious name of
St. Patrick was born of Irish parents
on the sea coast of Britain in 389 A. D.
History shows that he manifested great
engineering ability by mastering alge-
bra and trigonometry before he learned
his letters. At the age of I5 he proved
the earth to be round before an august
and learned body of scientists from
Dublin. A year later he realized the
need of a bridge between analytic ge-
ometry and mechanics. Thus the inven-
tion of the calculus which has been
handed down for us to "'cuss."
The Irish now awoke to the fact that
this engineering genius was being
wasted in Britain. So a vessel was se-
cretly sent to the coast of Britain, and
one dark and stormy night Patrick was
kidnapped and brought to Dublin. Here
he was appointed a committee of one
to determine the cause of Ireland's re-
tardation in the progress of civilization.
After four months of diligent and
ceaseless investigation Patrick informed
the scientists that he was going to im-
prove the barbarous condition of Ire-
His First service was the construction
of a masonry aqueduct on the outskirts
of Dublin, thus furnishing, the city
with pure water from the springs of
that vicinity. He also built three sky-
scrapers, an elevated electric railroad,
and a cantilever bridge. Not neglect-
ing the mechanical and electrical needs
of his country, he constructed a dam
and erected a power plant on the Shan-
non river and transmitted the light and
power all over Ireland. Hfis network
of railroads established easy access to
even the remotest peat bog, upon which
Ireland depended for her supply of
This caused the awe and devotion of
the good Irish people and they tried
to repay Patrick by giving him the title
of Saint. They really wanted to make
him king, but he refused, as Withfihis
high ideals of democracy, he was op-
posed to the rule of ,one man. We thus
see why these ideals 'of democracy have
afterward been fostered by the follow-
ers of the engineering profession.
Now these services to Ireland began
to worry the lawyers not a little, as a
result they feared for their power
which they held over the people. So
he was accused of witchcraft, arrested
and brought before one of their judges.
Now St. Patrick was equal to the occa-
sion, so he promptly invented the mon-
key wrench and screwed all the lawyers
to the bench.
Later he was elected mayor of the
city of Dublin. Four years later St.
Patrick started on his famous topo-
- -:a'5Q'-DK Z- .,:,j":3 V 7
or - etseiyt-1355
graphic survey of Ireland. It is said
to have taken ten years to complete.
An incident is said to have happened
while he was in County Cork, en-
gaged in precise leveling that will be
told to even the end of the world. He
was taking "shots" between hills that
were four miles apart, and on one sight-
ing, he seemed to see the hill move up
and then down, to the right and then
to the T
left in a most unaccountable
manner. Upon removing the lens, a
young. unsophisticated, green snake
crawled out of the instrument, destroy-
ing the cross hairs. St. Patrick then
an elaborate topograp1'1iC map of Ire'
land. His computations became very
laborious and tedious, so he invented
the slide rule, commonly called the
"slip-stick." The original map can be
seen in the University of Dublin, where
it is paraded and exhibited by the
learned men of that institution.
St. Patrick was the founder of the
Royal Society of Engineers of Ireland.
He lived to a ripe old age and died
March 17th, 461 A. D. It is said that
the earth trembled and the skies dark-
ened at his death. He sleeps in the
shadows of Blarney Castle, where the
for seven days and drove all of the
snakes out of Ireland into the sea.
Upon completion of his survey, St.
Patrick returned to Dublin and laid out
temper, and knocked off work
shamroclzs grow, but once a year, on
the 17th of March he appears on earth
again to reward his faithful followers
who cheerfully and willingly cut all
The Giant iiests
All day the Giant, works. l-lis arms of steel
Lift the huge weight or turn the ponderous wheel
Nor lesser tasks does he disdain or shirk-
Allis grist to him that feeds his greed for work.
But when the evening creeps across the land
The Giant rests, and stretching forth his hand
Gropes for his pipe, then bends his tired frame
And stoops to light it in the sunset flame.
Soon, thick and fast, as he begins to blow,
The ruddy sparks through the soft twilight glow.
They fill the city streets with mimic noon
And flash and sparkle by the still lagoon,
Through the dim parks they blaze a golden trail,
Float up the hills or cluster in the vale.
l-lither and yon, the lovely, airythings '
Go glimmering past us'no their shining wings,
While overhead the Lady Moon looks down
And deems them jewels lost from out of her crown.
PAULINE FRANCES CAMP.
3 ustin when
A Story of an Engineer, a Man of Red Blood.
He had come to Alaska shortly
gghgfgg after the gold rush. He realized
the folly of the mad desire for
the muck called goldg for he had heard
from stray bits of conversation the
names of many who had disappeared
into the Great Unknown in their fren-
zied rush to the gold fields. Then be-
sides his purpose-well he had not come
to gain wealth. He had very good rea-
sons for being here, and none knew
what they were, nor did they care to
ask. Generally this type of questions
would not be answered and sometimes
the one that was questioned might be-
come offended, and that meant that some
one might go on a very long journey
from which there' was no return. So
the people accepted him as he was and
in their crude andiuncouth ways gave
him a welcome. Other than that they
thought very little about him and both-
ered him less. - '
A railroad had been thought of and
some stir was aroused at the Post. He
heard that the men who were backing
the proposition were in need of a civil
engineer, and had not been able to get
any that would stay with them. Every-
one that came soon became the Vic--
USTICE GIVEN was an engineer.
tim of the gold fever and left to join
the frenzied? rush to the gold fields,
thinking that he might be the lucky one.
He inquired where he could find the
officials and he was directed to a rough
frame shack at the far end of the street.
A few questions were asked concerning
his past. These he refused to answer.
This caused some doubt on the part of
the officials for they had not been in
this part of the world very long, and
had not learned to steer clear of such
discussions. But when they saw an an-
gry flush spread over his face, they
quickly changed the subject to one of
technicalities. They discovered that
his knowledge of what they wanted was
unlimited. What he did not know about
railroad construction, supervision and
management was very little. So realiz-
ing their nnd, they dropped all further
reference to his personal history, and
proceeded to show him their plans and
explain just what they wanted.
For several months he worked long
hours, planning the work and driving
the crude, ignorant laborers to under-
stand that they must do their work
rightg for the most of them thought
that anyway so that it was done was
good enough. He seemed to be every
place. Not a level or gradeg nor a .tie
or rail was laid that he was not there
totsupervise it. He thrived on it while
the officials set back and smiled and
congratulated themselves on their
brains for picking such a good man.
A little over a year passed, the little
road was completed. Trains had been
scheduled to run. One day he came to
their office and told them he was going
to leave in a few days. They were as-
tounded, they hardly knew what to say
for a minute, for nearly a month they
had planned to make him one of them-
selves and give him a position that h
might have the best that was, as the
had realized the capability, of the man
to command others, and that he had a
of the details of the system at his finge
tips. All of this they explained to hi
they tried their best to make him se
that they needed him and needed hi
bad, they told him the salary they ha
planned to give him. But he sadl
shook his head, and told them that suc
a thi Cf ' ' '
ng was impossible, they grew des-
perate and offered him double their firs
offer, and then finally four times. But
he only refused and told them that his
assistant, George Lewis, could handle
the situation as well as he, and having
delivered his final answer, he'turned
and slowly walked from the office. Out-
' ewis and whispered some-
side he met L
thing to him. That afternoon he dis-
appeared from the communi
one knew, no one tried to 1'ind out. As
the disappearance of men was a common
e people knew the
ty, where no
occurrence, for th
law's arm was long and it's gripping iin-
gers were always scratching and har-
' ey supposed that
rowing the earth. Th
this was the case with him and no one
bothered to find out different, only his
friend L '
ewis knew where he went to.
Lewis had been very reluctant to see
his friend go, for they had been to-
gether ever since the road was a thing
on paper. During their evenin ho
they had discussed and planned the next
d 9 u
ay s work. And many a pipe they had
way back to the Barrens with supplies
for another period of loneliness on his
sledge. No one recognized him but his
friend Lewis, for a heavy red beard
completely covered his face, and -his
long thick hair completed the natural
During his long exile he had set dead-
falls and fox-baits along theledge of
that long, slim finger of the Great Bar-
ren which reaches out of the east into
the country of the Great Bear, far to
the west. The door of his sapling-built
hut opened to the dark and chilling
gray of the Arctic Circle, through. its
one lonely window he could watch the
sputter and play of the Northern Lights
appier days, and listen to
and dream of h
the curious hissing purr of the Aurora
which had grown to be a monotone in
For six years, season after season, he
came back with his load of furs, and the
clerk at the trading post had written
items something like the following in
t e cornpanyls books:
March 17, Given came in toda
with his furs. He left this after-
noon with us usual supplies.
Once before the clerk, when he had
curious, had added to the rec-
Strange why Given does not stay
here overnight, and does not asso-
ciate with any of us: Curious that
he neverdrinks. ' '
Then what seemed the rnost strange
Smqked together- of all was the fact that Justice Given
A year had Passed' when he again had never asked for any mail durin all
came to the Post, this time in the gray of these years, and no letter. had iver
of the afternoon he drove in with his Come for him,
dogs and his fursg for now he was a Th
trapper. Night would see him on his
. e Great Silent enveloped himand
his mystery. Th '
e Yapplng foxes knew
' I " ' X S ... 'J A ,
more of him than did his fellow men.
They knew him for miles up and down
that white finger of desolation, they
knew the danger of his baits and his
traps, they snarled and barked their
hatred and defiance at the glow, of his
lights on dark nights, they watched for
him, sniffed for signs of him, and then
blindly walked into his clever death
traps. Oftentimes the howl of the gray
wolf came rolling over the' icy ground
and sent a shudder through his body.
I-Ee knew what thati howl meant-hun-
The foxes, the wolves, and justice
Given! That was what this dead World
was made up of-themg and him. He
was killing-but they were winning.
'Slowly but surely they were breaking
him down-they and the terrible icy
loneliness. The loneliness he might
have stood for many years. But they-
were driving him mad. More and more
he had come to dread their howling at
night. That wasthe deadly com-bina-
and the howling. In the
laughed at himself for be-
cowardg but at nights the
moistened his brow, and
ing such a
sometimes he screamed at the awfulness
of it all.
What kind of manner of man he had
been, and of the strangeness of the life
that he endured in the maddening lone-
liness of that mystery cabin in the edge
of the Barren, only one other man knew,
and that was George Lewis, his former
assistant, the only friend he had ever
made during the time he had been in
But two thousand miles south, George
Lewis sat a small table in a brilliantly
lighted and fashionable cafe. It was
early in the summer, and Lewis had
been down from the north not more than
a month. The deep tan was on his face,
and the tiny wind and snow lines
crinkled at the corners of his eyes. He
exuded the life of the big outdoors, as
he sat opposite the pallid cheeked and
weak-chested Bhrome, who would have
given his millions to possess the red
blood in the other's veins.
Lewis had m-ade his "strike,, while he
was with the company. That day he
had sold out to Bhrome for a hundred
thousand, and he was filled with the
flush of joy and triumph.
Bhrome's eyes shone witha new sort
of enthusiasm as he listened to this
man's story of grim and fighting deter-
mination that had led to the discovery
of the gold mine away up in the moun-
tains of the frozen north. He looked
upon the other's strength, his bronzed
face and the glory of achievement in his
eyes, and a great and yearning hope-
lessness burned like a dull fire in his
breast. He envied him. He was no old-
er than the other that sat opposite him
on the other side of the table-yet a
vast gulf lay between them. I-lie had
his millions, the other with a flood of
red blood coming and going in his body
and his wonderful fortune of a hundred
Bhrome leaned over the table and
laughed. It was the laugh of a man
who had grown tired of, life, in spite of
his fortune. Only a few days before a
famous specialist had warned him that
the threads of his life were giving away
-breaking one by one. He told this
to his companion. He confessed to him
with the strange glow in his eyes-a
glow that was like a fire making a last
' Y M?-f :QW 6 7 V
1-ig!" Sl-zamrock :-
fight against total extinguishment-that
he would give up his fortune and.al1
that he had won for the other's good
'Tm ready to quit now, Lewis, I'm
ready to quit-but my God, it's too
Which got Lewis to thinking and
then he began to tell the story, as much
of it as he knew, of Justice Given, his
friend of the Great Silent.
Lewis' voice was tuned with the
winds and the forests. It rose above
the low and monotonous hum about
them. People at the two or three ad-
joining tables might have heard his
story, if they had listened. Within the
immaculateness of his evening dress,
Bhrome shivered, fearing that Lewis'
voice might attract undue attention to
them. But other people were absorbed
in themselves. Lewis went on with his
story, and at last, so clearly that it eas-
ily 'reached the other tables, he spoke
the name of justice Given.
Then came the interruption, and with
that interruption a strange and sudden
upheaval in the life of George Lewis
that was to mean more to him than the
discovery of his gold mine. His eyes
swept over Bhrome's shoulder, and
there he saw a woman. She was stand-
ing. A low, stifled cry had broken from
her at the instant of his first glimpse of
her, and as he looked, Lewis saw her
lips form gaspingly the name he had
She was so near that Bhrome could
have turned and touched her. Her eyes
were like luminous fires as she stared
at Lewis. Her face was strangely
white. He could see her quiver, and
catch her breath. And she was looking
at him. For that one moment she had
forgotten the presence of the others.
Then a hand touched her arm. It was
the hand of her elderly escort, in whose
face were anxiety and wonder. The
woman started and took her eyes from
Lewis. With her escort she seated her-
self at a table a few paces away, and for
a few moments George could See she
was fighting for composure, and that it
cost her a struggle to keep her eyes
from turning in his direction whileshe
talked in a low voice with her compan-
George's heart was pounding like a
trip hammer. He knew that'she was
and he knew
when he had
her. She was
talking about him now,
that she had cried out
spoken Given's name.
Bhrome as he looked at
exquisite, even with that gray pallor
that had come so suddenly to her cheeks.
She was not young, as the age of youth
is measured. Perhaps she was thirty
or thirty-Eve. If some one had asked
Lewis to describe her, he would have
said that she was glorious. Yet her en-
trance had caused no stir. Few had
looked at her until she had uttered that
cry. There were scores of women under
the lights possessed of more spectacular
Bhrome had partly turned in his seat,
and now, with careful breeding, he
faced his companion again.
"Do you know her?" Lewis asked.
Bhrome shook his head.
"No.,' Then he added: "Did you see
what made her cry out like that?',
"I believe so," said Lewis, and he
turned purposely so that the four peo-
ple at the next table might see him and
hear him. "I think that she sprained
her ankle. It's on account--oh, it's an
occasional penance the women make for
wearing these high-heeled shoes, you
He looked at her again. Her form
was bent toward the white-haired man
who was with her. The man was star-
ing straight over at George, a strange,
searching look in his face as he listened
to what she was saying. He seemed to
question Lewis through the short dis-
tance that separated them. And then
the woman turned her head slowly, and
once more Lewis met her eyes square-
ly-deep, dark, glowing eyes that
thrilled him to the quick of his soul. He
did not try to understand what he saw
in them. Before he turned his glance
to Bhrome he saw that the color had
swept back into her face, her lips were
parted, he knew that she was struggling
to suppress a tremendous emotion.
Bhrome was looking at him curiously
-and George went on with his story of
Given. He told it in a lower voice. Not
until he had finished did he look again
in the direction of the other table. The
woman had changed her position slight-
ly, so that he could not see her face.
The uptilt of her hat revealed to him
the warm, soft glow of shining coils of
brown hair. He was sure that her es-
cort was keeping watch of his move-
Suddenly Bhrome saw a man that he
had been wishing to see for some time,
so he excused himself to Lewis and left
A few seconds later the white-haired
man was on his feet. I-Ile came over to
Lewis' table, andiseated himself casu-
ally in Bhrome's vacant chair, as though
he were a very personal friend of
Seventeen . 'f
Georgeis that had come to have a friend-
ly chat for a few minutes.
"I beg your pardon for the imposition
which I am laying upon youf' he said
in a very quiet voice. "I am Captain
Courtley. The lady with me is my
daughter. And you, I believe, are a
gentleman. If I were not sure of that,
I should not have taken the advantage
of addressing you. You heard my daugh-
ter cry out a few moments ago? You
observed that she was-disturbed?"
"I could not help it. I was facing
her. And since then I have thought
that I'was the cause of her being dis-
turbed. I am George Lewis. I have
just arrived from the gold fields. So,
you see, if it is a case of mistaken
"No-no-it is not that," interrupted
the older man. "As we were passing
your table-my daughter-heard you
speak a name. Perhaps she was mis-
taken. It was Justice Given."
"Yes, I know him. He is a friend of
mine." ' ' E
Bhrome was returning. The other
saw that over George's shoulder and his
voice trembled with excitement as he
said quickly: '
"Your friend is coming back. No one
must know that my daughter is inter-
ested in this man-Given. She trusts
you. She sent me to you. It is impor-
tant that she should see you tonight and
talk with you alone. I will wait for you
outside. I will have a taxicab ready to
take you to my apartments. Will you
"I will come," he said.
With a feeling that thisnight had set
stirring a brew of strange. and unfore-
--1f aN ,Y J--iss ,-
seen events for him, George sat in a
softly lighted and richly furnished
room and waited. The Captain had been
gone a full half hour. He had left a
box half filled with cigars on a table at
George's elbow, urging that he should
smoke. They were a fine quality of
cigars and on the box was the name of
the dealer from which they had been
"My daughter will come presently,"
Captain Courtley had said.
A curious thrill shot through George
as he heard her footsteps and the soft
swish of her skirts. Involuntarily he
arose to his feet as she entered the room.
For fully ten seconds they stood facing
each other without speaking. She was
dressed in a iilmy gray stuff. There was
lace at her throat. She had shifted the
thick, bright coils of her hair to the
crown of her head, a splendid glory of
hair, he thought. Her cheeks were
flushed, and with her handsragainst her
breast, she seemed crushing back the
strange excitement that glowed in her
eyes. Once he had seen a fawn's eyes
that looked like hers. In them was sus-
pense, fear-a yearning that was almost
pain. Suddenly she same to him, her
hands outstretched. Involuntarily, too,
he took them. They were warm and
Soft. They thrilled him-and they
clung to him. -
"I am Mary Courtley,', she said. "My
father has explained to you? You know
-a man-who calls ,himself-Justice
Her fingers clung more tightly to his,
and 'the sweetness of her hair, her
breath, her eyes were very close as she
"Yes, I know a man that calls him-
self by that name." W
"Tell me what he is like? Is he tall
like you ?"
"No, he is of medium height."
"Is he young?"
"No, he is older than I."
"And his eyes-are they dark?"
He felt rather than heard the throb-
bing of her heart as she waited for him
to reply. There was a reason why he
should never forget Givenis eyes.
"Sometimes I thought that they were
blue, and sometimes that they were
gray," he said, and at that she dropped
his hands with a strange little cry, and
stepped back from him, a joy which she
madedno effort to' keep frornhim flaming
in her face.
It was a look that sent a sudden hope-
lessness through him-a stinging pang
of jealousy. This night had set wild
and tumultous emotions aflarne in his
breast. He had come to her like one in
a dream. In an hour he had placed her
above all other women in the World, and
in that hour the little gods of fate had
brought him to his knees in the worship
of a woman. The fact did not seem un-
real to him. Here was a wom,an, and he
loved her. And his heart sank like a
heavily weighted thing when he saw the
transformation of joy that Came into her
face when he mentioned the name of his
lonely, mad friend away up there in the
"And this man?" he said, straining to
make his voice even. "VVhat is he to
'His question cut her like a knife. The
wild color ebbed swiftly out of hgr
cheeks. Into her eyes swept the haunt-
mg fear which he was to see and won-
der at more than once. It was if he had
done something to frighten her.
"We-my father and I-are interested
in himf' she said., Her words cost her a
visible effort. He noticed a quick
throbbing in her throat, just above the
filmy lace. "Mr, Lewis, won't you par-
don this-this betrayal of excitement
in myself? It must be unaccountable
to you. Perhaps a little later you will
understand. We are imposing on you
by not conflding in you what this inter-
est is, and I beg of you to forgive me.
But there is a reason." -
Her hands rested lightly on his shoul-
ders. Her eyes implored him.
"I will not ask for confidences which
you are not free to give," he said very
He was rewarded by a soft glow of
About then her father entered the
roomg then for a period of nearly three
hours he vividly told them how and
where he had met Given. What friends
they had grown to be, of the lonely life
there in the wilderness with' only the
yapping and the howling of the foxes
and the wolves. Of the awful silence
that you could almost hear. Of the bit-
ter cold. After-.he had left he still felt
the thrill of the warm, parting pressure
of her hand, he saw the gratitude in her
eyes, he heard her voice, low and tremu-
lous, asking him to come again tomor-
row evening. His brain was in a strange
whirl of excitement, and he laughed-
laughed with a gladness which he had
not felt before in all of the days of his
He had told a' great many things that
night, but he'wondered why that haunt-
ing fear had come into her eyes when
he happened to mention the Mounted
Police. But he had asked them no ques-
tions, he had not tried to pry into the
secret which they so evidentlydesired
to keep from him. Now, alone in the
cool night, he asked himself a hundred
questions, and yet with 'a feeling that
he understood a great deal of what they
had kept from'him. Something had
whispered to him then-and whispered
to him now-that Justice Given was not
the man's right name, and that to her
and her father he was a brother and son.
This thought, as long as he could think
it without a doubt, filled his cup of hope
to the overflowing. . But the doubt per-
sisted. It wasllike a spark that refused
to go out. Who was justice Given?
What was he, the' engineer, now' the
half'-wild trapper, to Mary Courtley?
Yes-he could be but that one thing-a
brother-a black sheep-a wanderer. A
son who had disappeared-and now was
found. But ifhe was that, only that,
why would they not tell him? The
doubt sputtered up again. Hle did not
go to bed, he was anxious for theday
and the evening that was to follow. A
woman had unsettled hisworld. His
gold mine now" became an unimportant
reality. Everything faded into the back-
ground and only the woman remained.
He was like a boy living in the anticipa-
tion of a great promise-restless and
even feverishly anxious all day. He
made all sorts of 'inquiries about Cap-
tain Courtley. None seemed to know
anything of him or where he had come
That night, when he saw Mary Court-
ley again, he wanted-to reach out his
arms to her. He wanted to make her
understand how completely his wonder-
. tg-lofxs - X .Tp -it .XY j
ful love possessed him, and how utterly
lost he was without her. 'She was
dressed in simple white-again with that
Hlmy lace at her throat. Her hair WaS
don in those lustrous coils, so bright and
soft that he would have given a tenth
of his gold mine to touch them with his
hands. And she was glad to see him.
Her eagerness shone in her eyes, in the
warm Hush of her cheeks, in 'the joyous
tremble of her voice. That night, too,
passed like a dream in paradise for him.
For a long time they sat alone, she had
brought him the cigars and urged him
to smoke. They talked about the North,
of its frozen wastes, its wild life, and
'the tragedies of the gold-mad men. He
told her of his own adventures, how
long he had sought for gold himself. "I
expect to go back some time in August,"
he said. , ' I
She leaned toward him, last night's
strange excitement glowing for the first
time in her eyes. I
"You are going back? You Will see
him?" In her eagerness she laid a hand
on his arm.
"I am going back. It would be possi-
ble to see Given."
The touch of her hand did not lighten
the Weight that was tugging again at his
"It is a long journey, and-in he was
looking at her closely as he spoke, "jus-
-tice Given may not be there when I re-
turn. It is possible that he may have
gone into another part of the Wilder-
I-Ife saw her quiver as she drew back,
"He has been there all these years,"
she said, as if she were speaking to her-
self. "He wouldnot move now."
His own voice was low, scarcely above
a whisper, and she looked at him quick-
ly and strangely, a Hush in her cheeks.
It was late when he bade her good-
night. Again he felt the warm thrill of
her hand as it lay in his. The next aft-
ernoon he was to take her out driving.
The days and weeks that followed
these first meetings with her were
weighted with many things for George.
Neither she nor her father enlightened
him concerning their interest in the man
that they were so interested in. Several
times he believed that she 'Was on the
point of confiding in him, but each time
there came that strange fear in her eyes,
and she caught herself.
Lewis did not urge. He asked no
questions that might be embarrasing.
He knew, after the third Week had
passed, that she could no longer be un-
conscious of his love, even though the
mystery of the man in the North re-
strained him from making a declaration
of it. There was not a day in the week
that they did not see each other. As
their acquaintance became closer, and as
she saw in him more and more of that
something which he had not spoken, a
change developed in her. At first it
puzzled and then alarmed him. At
times she almost seemed frightened.
One evening, when his love was trem-
bling on his lips, she turned suddenly
It was the middle of July before the
words came from him at last. In two
or three weeks he was starting for the
North. It was evening, and they were
alone in the big room, with the cool
breeze from the lake drifting in on
them. He made no effort to touch her
as he told her of his love, butwhen
he was done, she know that a strong man
had laid his heart and his soul at her
He had never seen her whiter. Her
hands were clasped tightly in her lap.
There was a silence in which he did not
breathe. Her answer came so slow and
low that he leaned forward to hear.
"I am sorry," she said. "It's my fault
-that you love me. I knew. And yet
I let you come again and again. I have
done wrong. It is not fair now for me
to tell you to go-without a chance.
You would want me if I did not love
you? You would marry me if I did
not love you ?"
Hlis heart pounded. He forgot every-
thing but that he loved this woman with
a love beyond his power to reason.
"I don't think I could live without
you nowf' he cried in a low voice.
"And I swear to make you love me. It
must come. It is inconceivable that I
cannot make you love me-loving you
as I do."
She looked at him clearly now. She
seemed suddenly to become tense -and
vibrant with 'a new and wonderful
"I must be fair with you," she said.
"You are a man whose love most women
would be proud to possess. And yet-
it is not my power to accept that love,
or give myself to you. There is another
that you must go to."
"And that is--"
"Justice Given." -
It was she that leaned forward now,
her eyes burning, her bosom rising and
falling with the quickness of her
"You must go to him," she said. "You
must take a letter to him-from me. And
it will be for him-for him-to say
T tyO e
whether I am to be your wife. You are
honorable. You will be fair with me.
You will take the letter to him. And
I will be fair to youi I will be your
wife. I will try hard to care for you-
if he-says--" E
Her voice broke. She covered her
face, and for a moment, too stunned to
speak, George looked at her while her
slender form trembled with sobs. She
had bowed her head, and for the first
time he reached out and laid his hand
upon 'the soft glory of her hair. Its
touch set aflame every fiber in him. Hope
swept through him, crushing 'his fears
like a juggernaut. It would be a sim-
ple task to go to Given! He was tempted
to take her in his arms. A moment more
and he would have caught her' to him,
but "the weight-of his hand on her head
aroused her, and she raised her face,
and drew back her head. Hfis arms were
reaching out. She saw what was in his
"Not now," she said. "Not until you
have gone to him. Nothing in the world
will be too great a reward for you if
you are fair to me, for you are taking
a chance. In the end you may receive
nothing. For if he says that I cannot
be your wife-I cannot. He alone must
decide. On those conditions will you
"Yes, I will go," 'said George. '
It was early in August when he
reached the Post. From there he took
the trail. Day after day he continued
steadily northward. He carried the let-
ter to Given in his breast pocket, secure-
ly tied in a little water-proof bag. It
was a thick letter, and time and again
he held it in his hand, and wondered
what it was that she had so much to say
shmoe ee A elif
to that lonely man in the Great Silent.
One night, as he sat alone by his HFC
in the chill of September darkness, he
took the letter from its sack, and saw
that the contents of the bulging en-
velope had sprung one end of the flap
loose. He had set a pail of water on
the fire, and a cloud of steam was rising
from it. Those two things-the flap and
the steam-sent a thrill through him.
What was in the letter? What had she
written to that man? In a few seconds
the steam would free the rest of the flap.
He could read the letter and no one
would ever know the difference. Then
like a shock came the thought that the
few letters she had written to him were
always sealed with a red sealing wax,
and that this letter was not sealed. She
had trusted him. Her faith was implicit.
And this was her proof of it. Under
his breath he laughedfand his heart
grew warm with new happiness and
hope. "I have faith in you," were her
parting words, and now these words
came back to him, "I have faith in you."
So he replaced the letter in its sack.
That night had seen the beginning of
the struggle with himself. The autumn
and the winter came early in this coun-
try. It was to be a winter of terrible
cold and snow, of famine, and of pesti-
lence. The Hrst oppressive gloom of it
added to the fear and suspense that be-
gan to grow in him. For days there was
no sign of the sun. The clouds hung
low. Bitter winds came out of the
North, and nights these winds wailed
desolately through the tops of the trees
under which he slept. And day after
day and night after night the tempta-
tion came upon him more strongly to
open that letter.
He was convinced that the letter-
and the letter alone-held his fate, and
that he was actingblindly. He wanted
Mary. He wanted her above everything
else in the world. Then why Should he
not fight for her-in his own way? And
to do that he must open the letter and
read its contents. If there was nothing
in it that would stand between them,
he would have done no wrong, for he
would still take it to Justice Given. So
he argued. But if the letter ruined his
chances of possessing her, his knowl-
edge of what it contained would give
him an opportunity to win her in an-
other way. He could even answer it
himself and take back to her false Word
from Given, for these awful. years in the
North would have changed his hand-
His treachery, if it could be called
that, would never be discovered. And
it would give to him the woman that
This was the temptation. The power
that resisted it was the spirit of that
big, clean, fighting North which makes
men out of flesh and bone. Ten years
of that life had been drilled into him,
and so he hung on.
Deep snows fell, and fierce blizzards
shot like gun blasts from out of the
Arctic. Snow and wind were not what
brought the deeper gloom to the coun-
try. Smallpox-"red death"-was gal-
loping through the wilderness, and a
hundred messengers of the forests were
riding swiftly behind their dogs to
spread the warning.
Hfe traveled very slowly. For three
days and nights the air was filled with
the "Arctic Dustv snow that was as hard
as Flint and stung like shot and it was
so cold that he paused frequently and
built small fires, over which he filled
his lungs with hot air and smoke. He
knew what it meant to have the lungs
It was the morning of the sixth day
when he reached the thick fringe of
spruce that sheltered Given's cabin. He
was half blinded. The snow-filled bliz-
zards had cut his face until it was swol-
len and purple. Twenty paces from the
cabin he stopped, and stared, and rubbed
his eyes again-as though that he were
not quite sure that his eyes were not
playing him a trick.
A cry broke from his lips then. Over
the door there was nailed auslender sap-
ling, and at the end of that sapling there
floated a tattered, wind-beaten rag. It
was the signal. It was the one common
voice to all of the wilderness-a warn-
ing to man, woman and child, white or
red, that came down through the cen-
turies. justice Given was down with
For a few moments the discovery
stunned him. Then he was filled with
a chill, creeping horror. Given was sick
with the scourge. Perhaps he was dy-
ing. It might be-that he was dead. In
spite of the terror of the thing ahead
of him, he thought of Mary. If Given
'Above the low moaning of the Wind
in the tops of the trees he cursed him-
self. He had thought a crime, and he
clenched his mittened hands as he
stared at the one window of the cabin.
His eyes shifted upward. In the air was
a hlmy, floating gray. It was smoke
coming from the chimney. Given was
not dead. Something kept him from
shouting Given's name,'that he might
' 5l Q g
S' r iq 2
come to the door. He went to the win-
dow and looked in. For a few moments
he could see nothing. And, then, dimly,
he made out the cot against the wall.
On that cot sat the man that was his
friend and the man that held his happi-
ness in his Words. With a quick breath
George turned to the door, opened it,
and walked in.
Justice Given staggered to his feet
as the door opened. His eyes were wild
and filled with fever.
"You-Lewis!" he cried huskily. "My
God, didn't you see the flag?"
George's half-frozen features were
smiling, and now he was holding out a
hand from which he had drawn his mit-
"Lucky I happened along just now,
old man. You've got it, eh?" Q
Given shrank back from the offered
hand. "There's time," he cried, point-
ing to the door. "Don't breathe this
air. Get out. I'm not bad yet-but it's
"I know it," said George, beginning
to throw off hood and coat. "I'm not
afraid of it. I had a touch of it three
years ago, so I guess that I am immune.
Besides, I have come two thousand
miles to see you-Justice Given-two
thousand miles to see you, and bring a
letter from Mary Courtleyf,
For a few seconds Given stood tense
and motionless. Then he swayed for-
ward. "A letter for me-from Mary?"
he gasped, and held out his hands.
An hour later they sat facing each
other. The beginning of the disease be-
trayed itself in the red Hush of Given's
face, and the fever in his eyes. But he
was calm. For many minutes he had
spoken in a quiet voice, and LeWiS sat
with scarcely a breath and a heart that
at times had risen in his throat to choke
him. In his hand Justice Given held
the pages of the letter he had read.
Now he went on:
"So I'm going to tell it all to you,
Lewis-because I know that you are a
man. Mary has left nothing out. She
has told me of your love, and of the
reward that she has promised you-if I
send back the word. She says frankly
that she does not love you, but that she
honors you above all men-except her
father and one other-and that other-
that other is myself. Years ago the
woman that you love-was my wife.
Her name was not Givenf' he went on,
and a smile fought grimly on his lips.
"That's one thing that I will not tell
you, my name. The story itself will be
"Perhaps there were two other people
in the world that were happier than we
two. I doubt it. I I got into a deal. I
made an enemy, a deadly enemy. He
was a blackmailer and a thief and the
head of a political ring that lived on
graft. Through my efforts he Was ex-
posed. And then he laid for me-and
he got me. I must give him credit for
doing it so cleverly. He set a trap for
me and a woman helped him. The trap
sprung and got me. 'Even my wife
would not believe me and the papers
could End no excuse for me. I have
never blamed her for getting a divorce,
On the day the divorce was given her,
my brain went bad. The World turned
red and then black and red again. I went
to his oiiice. I gave him a change to
confess and redeem himself. He laughed
at me, exulted at my fall. And so-I
g ml? A
killed him. And then in his office, With
his dead body at my feet, I wrote a ,note
to Mary. I told her what I had done and
told her again of my innocence. I wrote
her some day that she might hear from
me under the name that I now bear, as
the law would always be Watching for
me. She has kept my secret, while the
law has hunted for me. And thisi-"
He held the letter out to Lewis.
"Take it-go outside and read it. I
want to think, and then come back in a
Back of the cabin George read the let-
teri and at timeshis soul seemed as if
it were being smothered and at others
it seemed to quiver with 'a strange joy.
For nearly seven years she had known
of the innocence of her husband. The
woman-the dead man's tool-con-
fessed. And during that time Mary had
traveled over the world seeking him-
the man who bore the name-Justice
Given. Each night she had prayed God
that the next day she might End him,
and now her prayer had been answered,
she begged that she might come to him,
and share with him for all time a life
away from the world they knew.
The woman breathed like life in the
pages that he read, yet with that won-
derful message to Justice Given she pil-
loried herself for those red and insane
hours in which she had lost faith in
him. She had no excuse for herself, ex-
cept her great love, she crucified her-
self as she held out her arms to him
across that two thousand miles of deso-
lation. She had written of the great
PFICC She was offering for this one
Chance of life and happiness. She told
him of his friend's love, and the reward
she had offered him should Justice
ity ' f '
Given find that in his heart love had
died for her. Twice he read that mes-
sage and he envied the man.
The thirty minutes were gone when
he re-entered the cabin. Given was
waiting for him.
"Have you read it?"
Lewis nodded. In those moments he
did not trust himself to speak. Given
understood. The Hush was deeper in
his face, his eyesburned brighter with
the feverg but of the two he was the
calmerg and his voice was steady.
"I haven't much time, Lewis," he said,
and he smiled faintly as he folded the
pages of the letter. "My head is crack-
ing. B,ut I have thought it all out, and
you have got to go back to her-and
tell her that I am dead. It's the best
thing. I love her, Lewis. God knows
that it's been only my dreams of her
that have kept me alive all these years.
She wants me to come to her, but that's
impossible. I'm an outlaw. The law
won't excuse me for killing that thing.
We'd have to hide-hide all of our lives.
And some day they might get me.
There's just one thing to do and that is
go back and tell her that I am deadg and
try to make her happy, if you can."
For the first time George forgot his
lbve for the woman. And he cried out,
"She wants to come to you," and he
leaned towards Given, white-faced and
clenching his hands. "She wants to
comef' he repeated, "and the law won't
find you. It's been seven ,years-and
God knows that I will never say a word.
It won't find you. And if it should, you
can iight it out together, you and Mary."
Given held out his hands, saying
huskily, "Now I know that I need have
no fear in sending you back. You're a
man, and you've got to go. She can't
come to me. It would'kill her this life.
Think of the winter here-madness-
the yapping of, the foxes--" Given
swayed and crumpled up on his cot.
For many days he and Given fought
the red death in the little cabin. It
was a iight that he could never forget.
One afternoon, to strengthen himself
for the terrible night that was coming,
he walked several milestback into the
forest on his snowshoes. It was late
afternoon when he returned with a
haunch of caribou meat on his shoulder.
Three hundred yards from the cabin
something stopped him like a shot. He
listened. From, ahead of him came the
whining of dogs, the crack of a whip,
a shout which he could not understand.
He dropped his burden and sped on. At
the south edge of the level he stopped
again. Straight ahead of him was the
cabin. A 'hundred yards to the right
of him was a dog team and a driver. Be-
tween the team and the cabin a hooded
and coated figure was running in the di-
rection of the danger signal.
With a cry of warning he darted in
pursuit. He overtook the figure at the
cabin door. It turned-and he stared
into the white, terror-stricken face of
Mary Courtley. E
"Good God!" he cried and that was
She gripped him with both hands. H?e
had never heard her voice as it was now.
She answered the amazement and horror
in his face.
"I sent you a letter," she cried, pant-
ingly, "and it didn't overtake you. ' As
soon as 'you were gone, I knew that I
must come-that' I must follow you-
that I must speak the words that I had
Slrggfock it K A X
written. I tried to catch you, but you
traveled faster than I could. Will you
forgive me? You will forgive me."
She tried to go into the little cabin
but he detained her. '
"It is small-pox," he said and his voice
"I know-the man over there-the
man that brought me-told me what
that little red flag means. And I am glad
-so glad that I came when I did-in
time to go to him-as he is. And you-
She jerked away from him. The door
opened and it closed behind her. A mo-
ment later he heard a strange cryg the
cry of a woman and the cry of a mang
then he turned and walked slowly back
into the forest. ,
It was growing dark when he started
to go back, for he knew that he must
go backg there was nothing else to do.
As he had expected, the man that had
brought her had fied with' his dog teamg
leaving her there to face the red death.
As he paused for a moment, the door
opened and Mary stood there, looking
at him. And then she came quickly out
to him. Vainly did he try to keep the
despair and heartbreak out of his face.
She saw it, and there was a stranger and
softer glow in her eyes as she took his
hands in hers, and held them tight.
"He has been telling me about you,"
she said, "I didn't know that there was
a man in the whole world like you. I
know what you have done, and what it
has meant to you." Again she repeated
softly, "I didn't know that there was a
man in the whole world like you."
He bowed his head, his shoulders
drooped. And then he felt the warm
thrill of her lips against his hand,
That night was the rnost terrible of
all nights in that little cabin in the
Great Silent. And it was a night Of
wild storm outside. The Wi1'1dS howled
out of the north, and the trees moaned
and sighed in the screeching blasts,
while in that lonely little cabin George
and Mary and justice Given fought the
great fight. During the intervals of that
iight, when the wind went moaning
down, they could hear the hunger howl
of the wolves and the barking of the
foxes, and Lewis thought of all of the
years in which they had haunted Given,
and wondered if some strange spirit was
gathering them in now from out of the
storm to see the end. For he knew that
the end was near. It carne in a fierce
blast of the blizzard that seemed to
sway the walls of the cabin. He did not
need to tell Mary. She saw, and fell
down on her knees beside the cot.
And Lewis, unused to prayer, stood
back out of the light and deep in his
heart thanked God-not that his friend
was dead, but that Mary was there,
kneeling, with her arms about the one
that she had lost. He was not jealous.
In his soul was a strange rejoicing, and
deep grief. He waited, and at last she
rose slowly. She swayed slightly, and
reachedout her arms seeking him.
"He is gone," she whispered.
He opened his arms. She lay in their
shelter as the polar wind shrieked above
them. He could feel the beating of her
heart on his breast. And then she fell
to sobbing, with her face close against
him, and he rested his lips on her soft
hair-and then the night grew suddenly
still, and her throbbing died away, 1ike
the crying of a child that has found the
comfort of its mother's arms,
I -- 13' W
The Man Who Didn't Succeed
They sing of the men who build the mills
And girdle the earth with steel,
Who fill the hour and wield the power
That molds the public weal.
Honor to them that in honor do
The work that the world must need,
And yet in chief I hold a brief
For the man who didn't succeed.
'Tis not to excuse the indolentg
No plea for the down and out,'
Nor specious rot condemning what
The leaders are about.
Merely to ask in a casual way
Of those who chance to read,
For fairer view, and kinder, too,
Of the man who didn't succeed.
His house is small, his table light,
His family must endure
The snubs and sneers of the buccaneers
Whose debts fall onthe poor. T
Yet his is a home and no hotel,
His wife is a wife, indeed,
There's nothing above his children's love
To the man who didn't succeed.
Admitting it's true that he did not make
The most of his talents ten,
He won no pelf nor raised himself
At the cost of his fellow men.
His hands are clean, his heart is white,
His honor has been his creed-
Now who are we to say that he
Is the man who didn't succeed?
' - X ,I 7 - , 7
As I whistle, and smoke, and hammer, I hear,
Beneath all the laughter and chaff that goes on,
A low, steady beat that is muffled and sweet,
Yet, soft though it be, it is mighty and strong.
'Tis not with the ear that I hear this strange sound,
'Tis merely the inner-man catches the tune,
As the rain on the eaves or the rustling leaves
In midst of our dreams on a sweet night in June.
'Tis the throbbing and pulsing of many strong hearts-
The whisper of spirits united in rhymeg
Much joy and some pain can be heard in the strain-,
As always in songs of a long ago time.
I hail you, old comrades, and drink your good health:
I hear your sweet singing, so sad yet so gay!
I hail you and greet you, and soon I shall meet you,
,For I'll be a Grad, too, by next Patrick's day!
A. L. Strother .... -
L. P. Bo11---
F. C. Wilson
St. Patas Board
----- --------------------C01'1'eSp0nding Secretary
G. D. Oliver.
G. A. Delaney, Secretary. F. J. Beard.
C. F. Hudson. F. W. Niedermeyer.
R. C. Jarrett.
Jack Long. A. H. Kistenmacher. .
A , JUNIOR.
WI. A. Danforth.
E. H. Elder. .
f ight Ifir:-11, Huw: Aflflf'l'f-Will, lfloyrl, Ilussf-I, 'I"m'1'y, Ac-r-mln. H1-mmm! Now: Imng'I'm'How. Luko, Foslur, Arms.
If ll I i Voz, Wnllfr-a', H1uIf"hin:-arm.
me ' "Stf2E1go5jQ
au Beta Pi
HONORARY ENGINEERING FRATERNITY.
Founded at Lehigh University, june, 1885.
Alpha Chapter of Missouri.
Charter granted in 1902. Colors: Seal brown a
D. S. Foster
Vernon G. Cox
Robert M. Walker
I Fred P. Hutchinson
Squire H. Anderson
F. W. Floyd .
Clinton S. Ferry
Alvin J. Accola
. Erskine S. Longfellow
OFFICERS. . e
F. W. Floyd,-President.
Troy Russell, Vi-ce-president and Recording Secretary.
Robert M. Walker, Treasurer. ' .
George Luke, Librarian and Corresponding Secretary.
- FRATRES IN FACULTATE.
E. A. Fessenden '
T. J. Rodhouse
F. P. Spalding
E. J. McCaustland
L. M. Defoe .
W. S. Williams . O. M. Stewart
M. P. Weinbachr A A. L. Westcott
Kerr Atkinson . A- L- Hyde
nd whi te
' ' JXQN ---XQQL-'E F iw x,
Xxiixigfe e' shigqiofk reserve
The Rhymes of the Re-Survey
By R. Sidney Bartram.
PART I. g
Now this- is the tale of the labours performed by a survey gang
Away in the back of the wild lanes, where nobody cares a hang! .
Where the brown bear prowls in the thicket, and the screech owl splits the
night, u .
And skunks and other blossoms sweet, yield scents of rare delight.
When grey the dawn is breaking, your duties 'are begun,
Throughout the hours of daylight you labor with the sung
And when the shadows lengthen, and the stars are shining bright,
You take a shot at the polar star in the middle of the night.
You sleep in a dis-used box car, on a bed of boughs of spruce,
But there's nothing to get by kicking, so what in hell's the use?
You dine on pork and cabbage, 'on pork and beans you sup,
And there's pork next day for a breakfast, dish, to clear the remnants up.
You pump a rusty hand-car for seven miles down the track,
And the sweat runs into your eyebrows, and you long to ease your back.
With picket, chain and transit, you run the traverse through
For seven miles, or maybe ten, as much as you can do.
You sit on a rotting deadfall, and open a can of pork,
And eat a hasty dinner, with fingers for a fork.,'
Then on you go with the traverse, as hard as you can push, '
Till the shades of night are falling fast, o'er swamip and track and bush.
And then you hurry homeward, to the supper waiting-there,
And think of your lousy spruce-bunk, and the sleep that knows no care:
But, swinging round a rock-cut, you 'make a meet" with a freight,
And "Safety First" is a maxim sound, so you leave the Cal- to its fate
' W shmoe? ' '
The car is smashed to splinters, which pleases the engineer,
While you stand and swear in chorus, but only the night winds hear.
So you shoulder the blasted transit, the picket, axe and chain,
And start to tramp it homrewards, a dozen miles in the rain.
At last, when the stars are shining, and the moon is swinging low,
You reach the cars on the siding, foot-sore and full of woe,
You kick while you eat your supper, you'grouse when you go to bed,
And curse all night at the chap who snores, and wish that you were dead.
But somehow, in the morning, you wake as .fresh as paint, e
Although last night you thought the life would demoralize a saint:
' And you gather the junk together, and out on the line you go,
For another day's hard labour, in rain, or sun, or snow.
But to-day is no track traverse, it's Township lines in the bush, .
And your axe bites deep of the cedar, and down she comes with a rush.
You splash your way through the muskeg, you 'Hounder across the creek
And flies and "skeeters" drink -their fill till you feel .too mad to speak.
But it's not bad work in the summer, it's rather finein the fall, '
. But in the good old winter it's the greatest job of all, '
With frozen ears and fingers, and nose that you cannot feel,
You laugh aloud with your stihfened lips, for your doing the work that's real.
And so it was in the Beginning, and so it is to-day,
And so it shall be to the end of things, when you are taken away,
Until you are made into Angels, with transit, and tape and chain,
You will work for the dame-d'old C. P. R., World without End.
- ' Amen. '
T The Next World T
Now this is the fate of surveyors, who love their beerbtoo well,
They must do their work in Hades, surveying the bounds of hell, .
They must blaze their trail through the darkness, they must run the Line
of Regret, ' '
Till the Hubs of Hell are planted well, and the Devil's Corner set.
And this is the fate of the Draughtsman, a -red hot compass and pen
And a red hot clraughting table, for ever 'and ever. Amen.
He must draw the Things as he sees It, with a Flag on every Hub,
Till a white hot print of the Bounds of Hell is passed by Beegelbub.
And the Picketmen and Chainmen must set a witness stake,
Well squared and truly numbered, in the midst of the Burning Lake
They must drag the chain forever, and .measure every lot
Through bush that burns but never wastes, and swamp that's always hot.
And the Cook who cooked their dinner, oh! what shall be his fate?
Shall he stand beside the furnace door, and fill a fiery plate?
Oh, no, he shall stand in the corner, away from- the furnace heat.
He had it hot on the cook car, so now he shall cool his feet.
For surveyors and all their outfit are sinners ,beyond recall,
They hold no law but the law of might, which gives to the mightiest all.
So he who has learned his lesson, who has served his year and a day
May sin to the full of his heart's content, and none shall say him "lNlay."
But the Devil stands in the Gates of Hell, to see who each may be,
When an O. L. S. is sighted, he rubs his hands with glee,
He calls aloud to his stokers, "Ha, stoke the furnace- Wejj
Here's another surveyor coming along, we must make him ,hot in hellf'
ll 1 3
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. JOE A. DUNN, 1916
. r ' Gets by on his innocent looles.
Spend: most of'his time trying
- to live down his past.
X . 1
1 F. W. FLOYD, 1916
1 Admits he has a girl,
' 1 But doesn't care who knows it.
THOMAS M. CAPP, 1916
, Held devotional services in the Bridge
room, one memorable Sunday
afternoon, with A. Hincoln Lyde,
3 Our hand ball expert.
D. N. BURRUSS, 1916
Always Qicks on .Mets as a target
. 'lUllE7l,llv? ban get hold of an eraser.
1 , , .
1 , A. I-I. KISTENMACHER, 1916
1 Lives up to his scientific management
1 rules. Lowes more profs than another
1 man in school.
Y' O. J. EIDMANN, 1916 W
Gets sick every fall so that he can
SPend a 'week in the hospital
and meet the new nurses.
1 nights of St. patrick -
C. E. Society
Tau Beta Pi
C. E. Society
St. Joseph, Mo.
C. E. Saczexg
Baseball, '13, '14, '15
St. Louis, Mo.
C. E. Society
A e Beta- Theta Pi'
St. Louis, Mo.
C. E. 505198
I. 0. S.
C. E. Sociffi
QI. H. LONG, 1916
Has a hobby of cussing out sometlzing.
FRANCIS KRONE, 1916
Would just like to know the
significance of "Old Crow."
C. C. BROWN, 1916
Business Manager of Shamrock.
Holds degree from Profane
F. C. WILSON, 1916
Honorary member of the Tri
H. E. SCOTT, 1916
Junior member of the Capp-
Scott Destruction Co.
JOHN K. SLOAN, 1916
Can't agree with Krone
on the Research.
St. Louis, M,o.
C. E. Society
C. E. Society
C. E. Society
Kansas City, Mo.
C. E. Society
C. E. Society
Kansas City, Mo.
Chi Chi Chi
A. A. O. C. G. S.
s , V
J Kfx YA ee
J. IRVING METZ, 1916 St Lows Mo
The "afler dinner" man. "Boys I fell 31014 flmf ACUM
Abe Hyde is a square prof. E 0
G. G. MCCAUSTLAND, 1916 olumbm
An engineer by birth.
LEO M. ARMS, 1916
The "gun" of the Civil
A. L. OWENS, 1916
Well versed on lang distance
R. W. HOCKER, 1916
A0614-fell Of being a twen-fy-one muzutc man C' E Sant!!
Showed fl tendency of beuzg hard on furm mc
L. EATON, St Qceph Mo.
Checked' exactly in Bridges, Smd ht D T N :lil
was a sirong believer in A. C Umluurx F N I
R - 'gnwoci
E. R. MCMlLL.AN, 1917 East St. Louis, Ill.
Clmigc pf the Christian Qug Vgydfkg
.-011.-gc gms. R. H.
ALVIN J. ACCOLA, 1917
No room left for
THEO. J. BONDERER, 1917
A gentle one who would treat the
de:-il with respect.
Louis O. TURNER, 1917
Consulting Engineer for
GRANT WYATT, 191 6
"Let's go by the University Club and.
hear the profs eat soup."
C. F. WASSER, 1917
Nature to all things a limit fits,
this is one of the limits.
Phi Beta Kappa
Tau Beta Pi
Q. E. B. H.
C. E. Society
Raton, N. M.
St. Louis, Mo.
' gn N15
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W - lg y J. A. DANFORTH, I9l7 Charleston, Mo.
I y .JV 5? m'K--, St. Pat's Dance Committee
"1 ' Told Dazfenport that he had not asked any girl to
Eg 1 11" 7 marry him because it would not do any lgoad.
7 ROY R. Cox, l9I7'
' wine will do the work alone.
M x '
gf! 7 F. J. BEARD, I9I7
Dresses up for preventive
W. J. WEGENER, l9l 7
Looks hardly old enough
to leave his mother.
EUGENE GAEBLER, I9l 7
' A nose like that
of an ex-pug.
JAMES G. TAYLOR, 1917
"Have I said enough or
shall I go ahead?"
Love was but put in for a fashion,
'Scabbard and Blade
St. Charles, Mo.
I. F. iT4
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FORREST R. I-IUG1-1Es, 1916 Columbia. Mo.
Grew in mustache so that the girls Scabbarg' and Blade
, would not call him a little boy.
Qggirj ABRAHAM TABACHNIK, 1916 St. Louis, Mo.
jf Wanted two degrees on - Menorah Society
.1 ..-5 short notice. C, E, Society
-5 Engineers' Club.
-. Johnie's Scout .3-I
-fi? gg GEORGE W. ZENTNER, 1916 Kansas CityT'Mo.
.1 The originator for the ' C. E. Society .
Q-,1 "correction for sag."
. C. EDWARD GRAY, 1917 Clinton, Mo. 1
Lfg7."jf" Doesn't think much of the Sigma. Phi Epsilon
' knowledge of the profs. C. E. Society
RSOBERT DAVIS, 1917 Bowling Green, Mo.
. Why is the devil in his home Phi Gamma Delta
grfg town and so shy here! .
:5,5::-Q5 S. P. BORDEN, 1917 St. Joseph., Mo.. '-
3-fsiflj-J' Let's have a Delta' Tau Delta
mechanic session. Q'
A. M. RHOADES, 1916 S Harris, Mo. c
Says that any construction company should -
be congratulated on securing his services. -
C. M. COLVIN, 1916 Kansas City, Mo.
Gained the name "Handbook Engineer" '
in "Railroad" Miller's class.
CHARLES W. I-IUG1-1Es, 1917 Columbia, Mo. 2
A society engineer Sigma Phi Epsilon ,
if '- ..-----.. ,--11. .s. 1
t ----- ---
" " ' '- ,,-., ,. .
J. ,.--3... ,J--:r, in .-.
Left to Right-First Row: Burrus, Eidman, Metz, Scott, Arms, Harris. Second Row: Brown, Long, Hughes,
Dunn, Eaton. Third Row: MacMillan, Wilson, Accold, Owens, Capp,Kistenn1acher, Gray.
Y . 'ea-?1.4f--sn -H-
gqmgegge I- y.
Civil Engineering ociet
UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI.
Purpose: To form a medium wherein the students in C1v11 Engineer
ing can assemble for the study and discussion of subjects pertaining to
President-J. A. Dunn Vice-president-D. N Burruss
Secretary-Treasurer-J. H. Long Sergeant-at-Arms-J K Sloan
Librarian-A. M. Rhtoades.
MEMBERS. H .
C. C. Brown
D. N. Burruss
. T. M. Capp
C. M. Colvin
J. A. Dunn
L. A. Eaton, Jr.
O. J. Eidmann
F. W. Floyd
A. H. Kistenmacher
J. H. Long
A. L. Owens
A. M. Rhoades
H. E. Scott
J. R. Streeter
G. W. Zentner
A. I. Accola A
C. E. Gray
J. J. Metz
A. M. Watkins
1' I A ' rs, 1
If you can swing an axe, or wield a brush hook,
Or drive a stake, or drag a chain all day.
If you can scribble 'iliggersi' in a note book,
Or shoot a range pole half mile away.
If you can sight a transit or a level,
Or move a target up and down a rod.
If you fear neither man, nor devil,
And know your self and trust the living God. '
If you can wade a swamp, or swim a river,
Nor fear the deeps, nor yet the dizzy heights.
If can stand the cold without a shiver,
And take the l'liggin's ink to bed oinights.
If you can 'turn a thumb screw with your fingers,
When every digitis like a frozen thumb.
If you can work as the daylight lingers,
And not complain, nor think you are GOING SCME.
If you can sight through tropic heat's refraction.
Or toil all day beneath a blistering sun.
If you can find a sort of satisfaction,
In knowing that you've got a job Well done.
If you can be an esquimo and nigger,
And try to be a gentleman, to boot.
If you can use a Uguessin' stick" to figger
And know a co-efficient from a root.
If your calculus and descriptive are forgotten,
And your algebra just serves you fairly well.
If your drafting and your lettering are rotten.
And your Trautwine's always handy by to tell.
If you close a traverse without fudgirf,
Or check a line of levels by a foot.
If you can set a slope stake just bv judgini,
And never kicked a tripod with your foot.
' S6215 Mikes s 1 :yeas sy
If you can run a line where you are told,
And make it stay somewhere on the map.
If you can read your notes when they get cold,
And know that contours mustn't ever lap.
If you can line a truss or tap a rivet,
Or make a surley foreman come across.
, If you can take an order, well as give it,
And not have secret pity for the boss.
If you can climb a stool and not feel lowly,
Nor have your head turned by a swivel chair.
If you can reach your judgments slowly .
And make your rulings always just and fair..
If you can give yourself and all that's in you
And make the others give their own 'and best, too.
If you can handle men of brawn and sinew, . -
And like the men and make 'em like you, too.
flf you can't boast a college education,
Or, if you've got a sheep-skin, can forget.
If you get a living wage for compensation,
And give a little more than what you get.
If you can 'meet with triumph and disaster
And treat them without favor, or with fear,
You'll be a man-and your own master,
But-what is more-you'll be an E-N'-G-I-N-E-E-R.
i " 'glzaggock' "' "'
AM the Swift-I am the Beautiful
za -I am the Terrible-I envelope
the world with my Strength, and
men thank God that I am, yet
tremble in fear of My Approach. I am
old-so old the mind of man cannot co-n-
ceive numbers sufficient to count the
Years of my Being, but still I am the
Personiiication of Youth and Power.
For ages and ages I have played through
the heavens, and deep in the Bowels of
the Earth I have wrought Mysteries un-
known to man. I have- lit up the Skies
with My Presence, and at the roaring
boom of the thunder I have wrapped
whole Forests in Sheets of Fire, smote
Rocks to fragments, and sent, in panic,
the wild beasts rushing through the
jungle. I have played 'round the
spindling towers man built, leaped o'er
the mountains, moved the wild sea, and
found My Rest in the bodies of people
who knew not My Presence. Now man
has found Me-a Willing Servant. I
fetch and carry, lighting man's home
and the streets, speeding his word on
the currents of air to far-distant coun-
tries, turning the wheels of thousands
of mills, driving his cars in the city and
doing .his toil in the country. Ah!
Countless are the things I give in Light,
in Heat, in Power, yet even the ones
who 'know Me best know nothing about
Me. And though their hands are. bold,
their hearts are timid. I am the World's
Mystery. I am the Terrible, the Beau-
tiful, the Omnipotent. I am ELEC-
V J V
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o 1 811,916 ci' f 9
Q nights of St. Patrick
A. I... STROTHER, 1916
Still carries ten hours Of Broadway
in addition to his regular w0rk. .
1... P. BOLL, 1916 Kansas City,
Is the official owner and operator
of our only workable spotlight.
Kansas City, Mo.
A. I. E. E.
Eta Kappa Nu
A. I. E. E.
St. Pat's Board
ARNOT M. FINLEY, 1916 Q Columbia, Mo.
We're of? of him. Let a shorthorn . I. E. E.
kid him about his whiskers. Pirate Crew
OWEN R. ALLGEIER, 1916 Mountain Grove, Mo.
We never liked Kip until we A. I. E. E.
heard "Rube" recite him. R. H.
Eta Kappa 'Nu
E. J. BURGER, 1916 Columbia, Mo.
"Eddie, there's no D. C." Lived under .-1. I. E. E.
his bed two weeks after the barn-warming.
D- S- FOSTER, 1916 ' Columbia, Mo.
gittle man with the big tool chest. Tau Bam Pi
Shorty" has his own ideas about e':'cryx'liing. Eta Kappa Nu
br ff - 1 S
'S e Shamrock
.. ' ' in
, Agro ...E
G. D. CLIN ER. 1916 Versailles, Mo.
"SL-t.'.':.: .my -?I12.'?ll!f of m.'v:.'y you 'zauuxtu but." ,-1, I. E-
"S.':.'f:.: .x n:'.'QuI " ".X'.::v, n:.:::'. l':'.' slzmzgmi my mmdf'
A. G. DUBLE, 1916 Prmceton, Mo.
Tir: zz-I::AsrI:'r:g :z'.w:.!cr'. .4 great IPIIISIQCI-L!!! ,-1, I, E, E,
:vhs is not .: bit sclisf: vrcr it. ,
D. P. STURGES, 1916
"Ds.zfsr:" has a pdssior: of tlzrotuing
briqzacffas through fcrfvctly good 'zvixzdo
G. C. DUREN, 1916
A caffain of industry. He cornered the
paint market and has the stcnos and
co-ed: where he zz-ants tlzem.
C. JAMES HUBBARD, 1916
Ofgrs a course in Poultry Judging.
Vzszts Illoberly once a week.
ROBERT M. WALKER, 1916
Thinks that A. C. Lanier
lost his calling.
A. I. E. E.
Kansas City, Mo.
A. I. E. E.
A. I. -E. E.
Editor of, Shamrock
A. I. E. E.
Tau Beta Pi
Eta Kappa Nu
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J. W. LONGSHORE, 1916
.-1 sly one with
PAUL J. REESE, 1916
Ask him what he 'is hiding in
his rest pocket. Kx'sse's Buddie.
CLARENCE O'DANIEL, 1916
Takes a sem1'nar course
' ll ' ll
m Snappy Storzes.
L. C. DAISE, 1916 1
His wish -was graitfied. He wanted to get si
so that he could be with the nurses.
Has the measles.
gs QL. it W L.,L 1
V 11 r
Kansas City, Mo.
QA. 1. E. E. F
A. I. E. E
ck A. I. E. E
GARLAND C. BLACK, 1917 Kansas City, Mo.
E 1 1
like a boy. - Phi Kappa Psi 111
Tomb and Key !
G. A. DELANEY, 1917 Centerview, Mo.
The 'wind bloweth, Eta K0-PPG N14
but no one listeneth.
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J. J. GODWIN, 1917
A modest little fellow, girls,
but, oh, so nice.
l'l'OWARD B. KEATH, I9l7
"Say, guy, have you worked any M. U.
of those mechanics problems! l'hey're
hard! I worked some."
T. F. MARBUT, I9I7
Dz'd1i't have the nerve to write
a. roast on Himself.
C. B. PEEPLES, I9l7
"Spot me fifteen, Nipper, and
I'll play you one more game."
E.. O. PENNY, I9I7
Plfhy girls leave home.
S. W. TPIOMPSON, I9I7
May under careful training get
rid of his girlish actions. So modest
that a current would shock him.
A. I. E. E.
Band, '14, '15, '16
, Engineers' Club
' Columbia, Mo.
Phi Kappa Psi
A. I. E. E.
A. I. E. E.
West Plains, MO.
A. I. E. E.
President of Benton Hall
MILTON VARNER, 1917
His walk and his overcoat Iva'z'e no
of fhv truth of Darwinin theory.
ELLIOTT G. WAGNER, 1917
In Steve Thompsoniv class, only
a hundred per cent worse.
I-I. E. WILLIAMS, 1917
doubt A. I. E. E.
St. Louis, Mo.
St. Louis Cluli
A. I. E. E.
Wanted to be sure that thirty-five pictures Sigma Nu
could be put on one page in the Sa-oitar.
G. L. KNIGI-IT, 1917
We are wondering why the women
go crazy over him.
CHAS. C. HOKE, 1917
He ought to join a moving picture
' A. I. E. E.
A St. Louis, Mo.
President St. Louis Club
company, tliere's enough loving to satisfy A- I- E- E-
any abnormal-min ded man.
CHARLES N. PECK, 1917
"My girl -won't let me dress rough
like the rest of the engineers. '
Kansas City, Mo.
Phi Kappa Psi
4-3 X -
:11f?"r . .'---.1':""-'If
I. -Ao, ...W ..., .
...:v' ,,...-:-' : A. .
HAROLD MARSH, 1916
Our design room butter. Took Scientific
Management under Hot Wad-hence his good '
"stand" of lzirsuie adornmentp
JOHN I... PLATT, 1916 Jefferson City, Mo.
Shorty. The little man with a big man's A. I. E. E.
head and feetg smokes occasionally.
RANDOLPH PATTON, 1916 Columbia, 'Mo.
Otficial tachometer for A. C. Lab. Still
a patron. of the "3-Ball Inn."
F. M. DARR, 1917
"My recen high scholastic standing
is all .due to military training."
ELLIOTT SCARRITT JONES, 1917 Columbia, Mo.
There is nothing 'much known
about himg our detective failed.
LOGAN C. GRIGSBY, 1917
His mind sees' more than the
eyes of other men.
R. E. CARTER, 1917
Another of' those individuals that
nothing is found on him.
PAUL JOHNSON, 1917
"I want ta be the captain or
I'm not going to play."
C. M. NOLAND, 1917
Engineering was not fast enough,
so he changed to geology.
.. - .-f,.,,...
. I in 4 na- '.
h , . . ,. .., -,
. ,-,v ,-...ff ,. -,
Sigma Alpha Epsilon
A. I. Ea E.
Mound City, Mo.
-.. f, :.,
1 A J . : 1 -:g-:--
o - ..'..,,.'.: .
s' a "
ul' ' su
. ggi Q
...l il E.
La ' Electro
Hence,,l.oathed coal oil,
Of earth and blackest midnight born
In regions all forlorn
Where profits, folks and even goats grow thin!
Relic of ancient day,
Reminder of the candle's sway,
The sulphur match's prey, .
Begone! Thou'st all the vices Cbut the dripj
Of a bayberry' A
And od'rous is the f-neatest of thy ways.
But come, thou- Power full radiant,,pfree, - Q
Yclept here Electricity. s , ,'
Our perculators perc by "juice",
And toasters toast-Qbut what's the use?
Things all perform by current now, '
From curlingQiron to side-hill plough. c
Thus, when electric pressing's through
We turn the iron and it will do
-To boil a cup of timely tea
Most any time for you and me. '
Since then these pleasures thou canst give,
Nymph, with thee I mean to live!
Left to Right-First Row: Foster, Luke, Meyer, Cox, Dlise, Boll. Second Row: Allgeier, Burger, Atkinson, Yvalker,
Hubbard, Jones. Third Row: Penny, Thompson, Varner, Knight, Delaney, Black, Finlay. Fourth Row: O'Danie1,
Lan ier, Du ren.
'fl-N1 f- IJ -fe
-r siiqgygock mg
merican lnstitute of Electrical Engineers
UNIVERSITY OF MISSOUR.I BRANCH. I
The purpose of this organization is to advance the theory and practice
of Electrical Engineering and the applied arts and sciences and the main-
tenance of a high professional standing among its members. Among the
means to this end shall be the holding of meetings for the reading and dis-
cussion of professional papers.
A C. Perry Meyer, Corresponding Sec.
' D. S. Foster, Vice-chairman.
S. H. Anderson, Assistant Secretary. A. C. Lanier, Secretary. .
Kerr Atkinson, Chairman.
A. M. Finlay, Treasurerf
V. G. Cox A I Q- - 'I Kerr Atkinson 1
J. J. Godwin L. C. Grigsby
- S. H. Anderson . A D. I. Cole
D. P. Sturges L. P. 'Boll
L. R. Golladay O. R. Allgeier
G. D. Oliver I E. J. Burger
A. G. Duble b - R. M. Walker
A-. L. Strother . C. J. Hubbard.
E. Williams ' - Jones .
E. R. Stanley E. O. Penny '
E. G. Wagner S. W. Thompson
F. J. Beard
R. B,. Warren
-D. S, Foster
C. Perry Meyer
L. C. Daise
G. C. Black
. M. P. Weinbach A
M. K. Varner
G. L. Knight
G. A. Delaney
A. M. Finlay
A. C. Lanier
G. M. Duren
G. E. Luke
fixing flilrctriritgfs Qnliluqup
I watched mankind throughout the centuries,
Watched as he struggled from the jungle depths
And battled with the monsters of the world:
Often I laughed his puny strength to scom,
And smote him, on the highlands and the seas
I-le felt my swift electric thunderbolts:
They crashed upon his habitations frail,
Or seared his struggling sails on the deep.
For I, a king, could sweep the field' of space
And make a playground of the land and sea.
But as the silent centuries passed on
Mankind won wisdom with the hard' wrought years,
And I, who had' been freer than the winds,
Became a servant of the hosts of man:
To Hood with light his teeming city streets,
To drive the whirling wheels of his mills,
Or leap with messages from strand to strand,
A fallen monarch and a conquered king! .
GEORGE B. STAFF.
r gust QBur wap
When the man who reads the meter comes around to take a look,
We are apt to tell him kindly that his meter is a crook '
And a double-dyed exceeder of the limit set for speed,
Faster than a modern racer of the eighty H. Pi. breed.
We inform him that we're thinking of removing all the wires
And of going back to candles or the oil lamps of our sires .
To escape the awful bills we get-which talk, we seem to think,
Will arrest the maddened meter ere it plunges o'er the brink.
But the meter keeps on metingg and we find that, after all,
When we figure the convenience, the expense is really small:
And we brag to our friends because our light bills are so low.
,And this railing at the meter! Just a custom, don't you know.
ce New ' Sltifjfffocf E
I . i D
mgbts of St. l3atr1c:l4 '
TROY RUSSELL, I9 I 6
Receiver of the M8C1IIU1II1.Cdl Lab.
charity fund for this year.
WM. SLOSS,' I 9I 6
The inventor of the boneless sardine.
Uses an over abundance of "sees" in his
IRAM O. ROYSE, I9I6
G rif fith's Un derstudy
R. W. MCCLAUOHRY, I9I6
Has to use an adding machine to figure u
West Plains, Mo.
Pi Kappa Alpha
Tau Beta Pi
A. S. M. E.
A. S. M. E.
A. S. M. E.
p the' number
of semesters he has been striving for a degree.
F. NELSON WESTCOTT, I9I6
"Say, fellows, 'Dad' gave me an S in Mech A. S. M. E.
Lab, says I need it to make up for some of the I's."
WENTWORTH WILDER, I 9I 6
Dances minus an alarm clock almost
cost him ai flnnk in Mech Lab.
St. Louis, Mo.
A. S. Ill. E.
1 gnamgoq, tkq?Ys
Ross B. WARREN, 1917 Kansas City, Mo.
.-in vngiizvsr who 'wears Student Senate
iz little siiff hat. A. S. 211. E
BURNETT W. CooTs, 1917 Platte City, Mo.
His modesty is often mistake-n A. S. AI. E
WALTER C. THEE, 1917
"I know that I talk about myself,
but who else would?"
Louis SEUTTER, 191 7
Hot Wad's pet..
REX HAYES, 1917
Tries to get edueated by carrying
seven courses tlgts semester.
Kansas City, Mo.
Kansas City, Mo.
A. S. M. E
1 .,.- 4, In
- shigqgocrf 1 1
. ,, .,,,g,'.."""".,.................,. -"""m"""'.q
C. N. JOHNS, 1917,
"I hate to brag, but I sure
can play a banjo."
A. D. RUSSELL, 1917
A fzolitician who would
not buy cigars.
G. B. RIDDLE, 1917
A ronglzneck by birth and education-
and an engineer by accident.
M. E. GALLIGAN, 1917
Time and I wait
for no man.
A. S. M. E.
EE XX? 6 - ghagxfock Vai?
1 1 .
52:3 ,111 ' , 3 ,Q-in i ' ,fan
Ei. '-Piisffg'-. L2-'-'7.f"jI. . .
- ses " -' .,
5.f'.f-if J. L. SCHLITT, 1917 Columbia, Mo.
ff-111',". The beer that made A. S. M. E.
2:25. 1' .
11.5155 F RED P. HUTCHINSON, 1916 Maryvllle, Mo.
I-If ' Axk lzini who forgot ta turn of? the faucet Tan Beta Pi
'u .3 on the cylinder oil tank in Mech Lab. A. S. M. E.
' JOHN A. HOFFMANN, 1916 Roswell, N. M.
Puts into practice his idea. that fellows A. S. M. E.
ought to run around with girls about Y. M. C. A.
.seven years younger than they are.
'iif!5E'32E R. M. Lon, 1916 Bethany, Mo.
" ' Went skating' and A. S. M. E.
cracked his ankle.
21 W. C. I-IUISKAMP, 1917 Keokuk, Ia.
5' Specializes in
jLf..1,,z trading overcoats. f
fiifi A. H. ZEITZ, 1917 Jefferson City, Mo.
Ziff l ' A natural born Dutchman,
' but claims lze's French.
J. C. SQUIRES, 1916 Columbia, Mo.
Beat Royse out of the A. 5. M.'E-
presidency of the A. S. M. E.
R. C. COATESWORTH, 1916 Mexico, Mo.
Never knows anything when yon are A. 5- M. E-
frying to End out soinething.
il 1-4 . 6.4.3 . I '-...1?,:-.,.::-ij.. - ' , ..?.::i.--
'jjj , . . .. :L - -
iii-ff xx? ' ' shmfoct c 1 '
J fx Q9
Q imturz in ibrime Waters hp ibut with 1
y WISH some one would kindly
erase the board while I procure
I will talk today on efficiency.
On a recent trip to St. Louis, I went
with my friend, Mr. Hunter, to his Ash-
ley St. Plant of the St. Louis Electric
Light Co. While we walked together
through the engine room he pointed out
a vacuum pump from which they got
something for nothing. We mechanical
engineers believe in getting all we can
out of our machines, also in saving the
product when we get it.
I will not write on the board the name
of the Trust Company in Syracuse, N.
Y., whose president told me he would
gladly pay me four per cent on my de-
posits which I would make with him.
QThe man who greased this blackboard
with his hand, or otherwise, is no friend
When I was connected with the Penn-
sylvania Ry., in the summer of 704, we
bought some dining cars for main line
service. At one point on the road where
the trains traveled at 80 miles per hour,
the bridge abutments on each side of
the track were so close to the track that
they scraped the paint off of the cars as
they went by.
At the time that I was employed by
the Lehigh R. R. as smoke expert, I
designed an engine which would only
clear the side of the tunnels by one-half
inch. One time when running a test on
this locomotive, I stood on the front of
the engine with a tool in my hand, we
were going at the rate of 65 miles per
hour -and the wind came along and
sucked me off of the cow-catcher.
I will now place on the board a heat
entropy diagram. This point is 320 F.
Down in the library somewhere is abso-
lute zero. This line is ADIABATIC.
This word means "not diarrhoea." You
all know what that means. I have had
In the home which I built in Ithica,
N. Y., I designed and had built the only
sanitary, odorless bathroom in the city.
It proved very efficient and successful.
If you should go into Mrs. Hibbard's
kitchen over on Keiser Avenue today,
you would find things perfectly system-
In the back corner of the upper left-
hand drawer in my dresser, I have a list
of the things to take along when I go
up into the Maine woods to camp. There
I will find listed my pajamas, monkey
wrench, double acting shears, and many
things I might omit if I did not consult
the list, which I always do, before I
start on a camping trip.
Again referring to the diagram I will
ask you to note this point up here. It
is such a miserable little booger you are
liable to overlook it. This line I have
drawn an odd shape. This is du-e to the
fact that I am talking theory and not
Open your Gebhardt's -to page 260.
2 8-gths inches from the bottom under-
line H30 pounds." At the bottom of
page 281 write "mud raft." Page 115,
third line, third word:
wheat." Write "B, t. uf'
ceive how Mr. Gebhardt
such a mistake.
I will examine you on
in our next recitation. Good-bye.
I can't con-
1 6 AN
jfrum Barren Earimess
Great wealth of immemorial sunlight poured,
On tall primeval palm and ancient ferng .
Dim ages long with bones of mammoth stored
Dark fathoms underground--once more return!
Dig, miners, deep in earth, where sleeps the coal,
Wake it to breathe through whirring dynamo
That burning mirth of light whose merry soul
Laughs from a subtlyl-Haming tungsten's glow.
Sing out, you lily Howers of the street, t
Mock from your slender stems the stars aghast:
Drop joy upon the slow and weary feet
Of home-returning workers-shuffling past. A
To drooping lips the happy smile restore, i
As sunshine flowers from purple tombs of nightg
Let the black hoards of earth bring forth once more
From barren darkness- blooming boughs of light.
ity shmoe? ' ' '
y gli the laboratory
I-le gave his time to science, cold and grimy
The lighter joys of life were not for him.
Good-fellowship passed by with jovial port
And left him to his test-tube and retort.
With men he wore an air reserved and grave
And few to him the hand of friendship gave.
l..ove's happy laughter or the song of bird
Came floating through his window unheard.
In vain the summer called from stream and hill,
Above his endless task he bended still.
Yet, for that joyless work, ten thousands came,
In later time, to bless his very name.
'Through him men walked Who, but for him, had lain
In hopeless beds of feebleness and pain
And babes grew up to be their parents pride
Who, had his work been dropped, had surely diedg
And to the wards where fever gasped for breath
He stretched his hand and closed the door on death.
His task Was dull, his life seemed one of gloom,
But Love worked With him in that quite room.
WALTER G. Dorv.
I i m
Q L i
. .5 :Atta .1-:E . .
a s 'i 27 X K
.L .'1.f' ': -- , .- ,S--:J5:J3L' Q f ,
X -'33'5x'iiEE5f: '
W' 4' ., 9 7 A
Fi.. .,..--, ...M -..
1 mf .
1 K N.
QW 1 5
, -Q, A 1
Knights of St. patrick .
C. S. FERRY, 1916
Goes by Kansas City when
going home. Wonder why?
Alpha Chi Sigma
Tau Beta Pi
E. S. LONGFELLOW, 1916 Kansas City, Mo.
Alpha Chi Sigma
' Tau. Beta Pi
CHARLES J. I-IAINES, 1917
"I can't always agree with my profs,
bnt there are some things for
'them to learn yet."
ARTHUR LANGMEIR, 191 7
Had to leave thel state in
order to get small-pox.
ELIOT MILTENBERGER, 1917
"Two steaks andfa plate
of onions, please."
ERWIN L. OCKER, 1917
Eby's only rival.
Alpha Chi Sigma
Phi Kappa Psi
St. Louis, Mo.
Alpha Chi Sigma
St. Louis, Mo.
Scabbard and' Blade
' - I
'l'75 A b,W- -
wa! A - ick
The itpntm Qlingium
l sometimes think I'll quit this life
And settle down and get a wife, By Jove!
bometimes I think that I would love
T0 have some place that I could call home
And settle down, no more to roam
But Hell that very thing I've tried,
And found myself dissatisfied!
I've often tried to settle down W
To office work and live in town
And act like civilized folks do,
Take in the shows and dances, too,
But l'd no more than get a start
'Till "Wanderlust,' would seize my heart
And in my night dreams I would see
The great white silencecalling me.
And at the chance I'd never fail
To drop it all and hit the trail
Back to the solitudes again,
With transit, level, rod and chain,
To lead the simple life once more
And do the same thing oier and oier,
Day after day and week after week.
Sometimes we would go in town to seek,
A little fun and, sometimes-well,
Sometimes we raise a little Hell.
We don't mean to, but then you see,
When we've been out two months or three'
In places silent where the face, '
Of white man seems so out off place, 7 '
Well-when we hit, "THE GREAT WHITE WAY
Our joyful spirits get full sway-
We try to crowd into one night
The joys of many months, H 'Tain't right?"
Well, maybe not! 'Tis notifor me
To shape our final destiny, A P U V
But when our last survey is done n H
And tied up to the "GREAT UNKNOWN.
And to the Chief our seconds brought
Of lonely work with danger fraught.
Of hardships cheerfully endured
That results might be secured,
Against this our little sprees
Will seem as ponds compared .to seas
And the angels surely will decide
There's a balance on the credit side.
And God, I think will drcp a tear
And bless the "Hobo Engmeef-
if ' to gsffsefra
The flinginews last iammt
Beside a western water tank,
One cold December day,
Inside an empty box-car,
A dying Engineer lay,
His old pal Fritz stood beside him,
With low and drooping head,
l..ist'ning to his last words.
The dying Engineer said:
'Tm going to a better land,
Where everything is bright,
Where beef stews grow on bushes,
And you sleep out every night.
You don't have to work at all
- And never change your socks.
And streams of "Old Crow" whiskey,
Come trickling down the rocks.
Tell the bunch of "Old lVlizzo"
That my face they no more will view:
Tell them not to weep for me-,
No tears in their eyes must lurk,
For I'm going to a land,
Where they hate the word called work.
Harkl I hear her whistlingg
I must catch her on the Hy,
I would like a scoop of Falstaff Beer,
. Once more before I die."
The Engineer stopped, his head fell back,
l-le'd sang'his last refrain. V A
Old pal Fritz swiped his hat and coat.
And caught the eastbound train.
fl-he Wireless Club bf fhe niversity of Missouri
HOUGH primarily for students
re:-5 of all departments of the uni-
versity, the Wireless Club is
largely made up of students of
the School of Engineering, and includes
those who are interested in radio teleg-
raphy from a scientific point of view
rather than those who desire to become
The society was organized in Septem-
ber, IQI4, and during the years 1914-1915
did much towards putting Columbia on
the wireless map. Through the kind-
ness of the engineering department the
club was allowed to 'use one of the base-
ment rooms of the Engineering Build-
ing for a club station. An antennae was
erected between the towers of that
building and of Switzler Hfall, and the
equipping of the station began. Though
the club is by no means finished fitting
up the station, the results so far ob-
tained have been very satisfactory. Of
course the receiving range is much
greater than the sending, as the power
used for transmitting is only one-half
kilowatt at present.
The equipment of the station is as
follows: Antennae is composed of four
wires of stranded copper wire, 120 feet
long, Q0 feet high at one end, and 80
feet high at the other The sending set
consists of. one-half K. W. G. E. testing
transformer, oscillation transformer, ro-
tary spark gap, and condenser. The
receiving set comprises 2,ooo ohm head
phones, galena detector, loose coupler,
variable and fixed condensers.
Before the club was organized 'there
was probably only one station in Colum-
bia, while now there are a dozen or
more, two of which are operated by the
university. One needs only to connect
his receiving set on the bed springs and
radiator of his room to get all the prac-
tice he needs.
The Wireless Club holds weekly
meetings, papers are read by members,
addresses given by interested members
of the faculty, and practice in sending
and receiving is made possible by means
of a buzzer, battery and key. The mem-
bership this year is about iifteen, sev-
eral of whom hold operator's licenses,
issued by the Government. Many of the
members also have stations of their own,
either here in Columbia or in their re-
spective home towns.
The oflicers of the Wireless Club are:
Robert M. Walker, presidentg Clarence
O'Danie1, vice president, Vernon G.
Cox, ,secretary-treasurer, and Elliott A.
White, faculty advisor. '
The club station will be at the dis-
posal of St. Patrick on the 17th and vis-
itors are invited to inspect the set.
Tell me, what's the wireless, '
That brings me thoughts of you?
In operation tireless,
Yet always overdue.
Is it, I wonder, can it be
A matter of telepathy?
X f ex V- - M2-' EX 7
HE last resounding tones of the
eight o'clock bell had just passed
into oblivion. Weinie drew up
his luxurious office chair to his
equally luxurious desk, hoisted his feet
with much exertion to that piece of fur-
niture, and began the business of piec-
ing together the "makings" of his after-
breakfast cigarette. In this position he
remained motionless, except for the arm
movement necessary to place in his
mouth and withdraw the smoking cigar-
ette. The ten minutes he methodically
set aside for this pleasure sped swiftly.
Taking his roll book and other papers
of importance from his desk, he slowly
moved out of the offifce, closing the .door
behind him, and descended to the Elec-
He met his class with an amiable
smile and proceeded at once to the large
generating unit in the corner. After
careful and systematic inspection of the
working parts of the unit, he threw over
the starting arm. The motor quickly
responded and with a low, musical hum
came quickly up to speed. Weinie stood
close by, rubbing his hands togetherand
wearing the satisfied expression of a
miser who has just gloatingly placed a
newly acquired sheckel under the worn
mattress. Turning quickly on his heel
he faced the panel containing the meters
and other apparatus for controlling the
unit. He slowly brought his hands to
his face and, as one who is possessed of
fear, dragged it across his brow. He
weakly clutched the voltmeter with
both hands and peered hopelessly. Hue
reeled, fell back and all became dark.
When he awoke all was serene-bend-
ing above him was an individual. All
Weinie knew, or even cared to know,
was that she was dressed in white and
good to look upon. He tried to speak
but she gently told him to be quiet and
everything would be all right soon.
Slowly came into his mind the happen-
ings of the previous day. Small beads
of cold perspiration oozed from his
brow. H-e shook as one with the ague.
Thus he remained-fretfully tossing
and at equal intervals ringing for the
'good-looking individual--sometimes a
,drink of water and then a cold towel
to stifle the heat that was depressing
him. The day passed and then the
night. In the morning he felt better. At
nine in the morning a card was sent in.
It was carefully perused and the orderly
was told to admit the visitor. With a
slow, even stride the detective, who was
none other than the Efficient Hot Wad,
approached the bed. With the same
evenness and efficiency of movementhe
drew a chair close.
"Good morning, Professor Weinbach,
feeling better, I presume?"
"A leetle, tangl-rs."
"Then I will assume that you are com-
petent to give clear and concise answers
to a few queries. Give me a short re-
sume of the discovery of the crime."
"I had just started up the motor-gem
erator unit so the boys could have d. c.
Qev t v vlw .
X V u c
for their experiments .
to the Panel to read th2nviolSti:1egI?epedInCivSr breakfable unit' Surely, there Could be
ine my horror upon discoveriincr 312- lysmlstakei Bugs had admitted to Hot
needle of the voltmeter Standiig 6 ad,. however only after having been
107 instead of IOS, where it has beeb all Submltted to a grueuing third degree'
these years that I have been teacgia that he had seen john Sneak from the
the boys dn CH and moreover is Homin? Shop on the day the dastardly crime was
Tvice I loogked. unable to believe ma u dlscovereii and had also' from a Safe dis'
self. But I vas right. vun volt was song' tance behind, Watched john slink up the
B1 as Stalrs and into Cocky's office. Further-
. ease Meester Hot Vad, von't you find
it for rne? Blease, blease, bl?"
Here the Efficient Hot Wad inter-
rupted with a commanding gesture,
"One volt you say?"
"Do you suspect anyone."
"Was there anyone else in the labora-
tory at the time?"
"Just my boys."
"Anyone else besides the class?"
"jawn vas in the shop."
"Were his actions of a suspicions na-
"jawn vas perfectly honest.'7 At this
point the door opened and the goodlook-
ing individual entered. She suggested
that the hour for visitors was at an end.
The Eiiicient Hot Wad gathered his
things, thanked Weinie for the inter-
view, and bowed himself out of the
room, pausing at the door for a back-
ward glance at the goodlooking in-
dividual. ' -1+
The Eiicient .Hot Wad sat moodily at
his desk chewing hard upon the end of
a big black cigar. He was arranging
and rearranging a mass of data. The
web was fast closing in. Link by link
the flawless chain of incriminating evi-
dence vsias being formed into an un-
! Seventy-Three V
more Hot Wad had followed Cocky by
day and by night-leaving john whom
the able detective reasoned was only a
tool in the hands of the designing Cocky
to his able understudy and assistant,
With the tenacity of the proverbial
bull dog had Hot Wad .doggedthe foot-
steps of Cocky. Daily hiding behind a
switchboard he would stand patiently
peering through a convenient plug hole
watching Cocky's every move. Silent-
ly, breathlessly' he stood--all silent ex-
cept for the ticking of the infallible stop
watch held resolutely in his left hand.
By this method he had determined
exactly the efliciency of Cocky's move-
ments-this efficiency had checked, be-
yond a shadow of a doubt, with that of
the last individual who had visited the
fatal panel previous to the discovery of
the crime. On that day all visitors had'
been carefully excluded from the scene
and the eiiiciency of the thief's move-
ments wefe computed from his stride-
the stride, of course, being found from
the foot prints in the dust. The Effi-
cient Hot Wad had attended to this im-
portant detail in person using a mag-
nifying glass and steel tape.
During this period of constant hound-
ing Hot Wad gathered suiiicient evi-
dence to make impregnable his theory:
that Cocky was the thief and had, for
' sfiffyoci f
some reason, known only to himself,
slipped into the laboratory under the
cover of night and taken the missing
volt. Moreover, the object of theft was
in his possession. It 'is true Hot Wad
had not seen it but he had climbed
through the Library window and
watched Cocky through the transom
leading into his oliice and had seen him
slyly extract a small wooden box from
an obscure corner of the small room,
open it and, bending over his desk,
fondle the contents with intent eager-
ness. Although it was impossible for
the sleuth to determine the nature of
the contents it was evident that it was
of a mysterious character and of ex-
treme importance to its possessor.
At last, the end was fast approaching.
The crucial moment was at hand. The
time had arrived for the inevitable arm
of justice to reach down and clutch its
human sacrifice. The stage was set,
there only remained to seize the villain
and wring from him a confession of his
sin. Could this be accomplished by the
usual third degree methods? Would
the prisoner yield under a mere batter-
ing of words? Although the con-
catenated evidence was without a single
flaw the eflicient detective reasoned that
more than a mere attack of words was
necessary to force the prisoner into sub-
mission. The tools that were to aid in a
more rapid solution of the problem had
been selected and arranged.
Oflicers Miller and Spalding strode
heavily into Cocky's office. Cocky who.
at this time, was sitting at his desk
greeted the visitors with an expression
of awe and solicitude. Deputy Spalding
broke the embarrassing silence. "As
representatives of the law it has become
our painful duty to place you under
"Arrest-I don't understand-why,
what have I done?" Bearing a far-off
forlorn expression, Cocky arose- from
"It is not our capacity to discuss the
matter here, sir. You must come with
us," sternly broke in one of the officers.
Cocky, with bowed head, followed the
two officers out. He was quickly
ushered to the high tension laboratory.
Inside all was dark, except for a cone of
light which Hooded a chair sitting in the
center of the room. The prisoner was
thrown roughlyqinto the chair and the
bombardment of words begun. A spot
played over the stern face of the detec-
tive as he stood bending over the cul-
On and on poured the unceasing How
of questions and denials. Each question
being punctuated with a shriek from the
high tension Tesla Transformer. Cocky,
although worn and haggard from the
strain, refused to give under the con-
stant pounding. Five long hours had
still had one
elapsed. The detective
trump left to play. "But I saw you with
it-saw you fondling it-you have the
volt hid in your office," bellowed the
"No, what you-." As the prisoner's
eyes brightened and was on the verge of
relating, the do'or opened and Fuzzy
calmly walked in. 'q
"I heard you were having some trou-
ble about a volt. I am sorry-I borrowed
it some time ago-during the cold spell.
I needed it for the Light and Heat Sta-
tion." As he spoke he held a small ob-
ject on the palm of his outstretched
S t l
at - r s
l ?iQ'!?"l'0fk f r -
hand. Weinie who had be
. ' C11 st d' ' " .
m an obscure Comer of the ro an 1158 But what was it I saw You Playing
Om ma e ' ' .
, with in your ofiifcey' The question was
one dive fo th - ,
rl e frightened Fuzzy, directed at the innocent Cocky.
grabbed the object caressed it and
' . ' Went "Nothin b 15 1
awa mutt 8 H a urnen. Ithou ht u
y erxng. knew all the time." g yo
lil til til i
V Qtaking Q9ut y
What is that, Mother?" "The Rodman, my child.
His footsteps are weary, his accents are wildg
His hair, how disordered! l-lis eyeballs, how hlear!
And see where his necktie hangs under his ear."
Rod up there! Hold her steady! ! Go down the hill! ! !
7.8 Cut 2.2--No, hegosh, it's a fill.
Half the roadbed, 13+ the slope l :l 9
No, it's lyq though, as sure as a gun.
Well, that makes--!et's see-O! stick her in there.
It'll do. Perhaps the contractor will swear.
But no difference: We're the big dog in this light.
No matter what's wrong, just swear it's all right.
t donit know a beefsteak from a bone.
A contrac or - H
Now pick up your tools, and let's pull out for home.
' 1. I-I. K. B.,
Laurel Hill Swamp Angel.
From the S. P., R. R. "Transit" I
MICHAEL, Cr the Misdemeanors of a ascot
HE idea of Shamrock Hall, the
being without a mascot! When
being without a mascot, When
Bob Sands mentioned this glar-
ing inconsistency to our little home cir-
cle we stood aghast at the astounding
fact. Such appalling lack must no longer
be tolerated if we were to preserve our
The sense of the entire meeting being
unanimous in favor of immediate ac-
quisition of the missing mascot, the only
matter for real discussion was the choice
In his usual generous spirit Bill
Spikes offered his services and we all
agreed that his Simian features and un-
usual bent for mimicry were especially
adapted to fill the bill of a certain kind
of mascot, but his insatiable appetite for
popcorn and peanuts frightened us from
accepting his offer. As mascot, Bill, of
course, would be exempt from ever
"treating" himself. So there was
"method in his madness." True, with a
hand organ he might prove a profitable
investment but as Babe Williams
pointed out, QBabe comes from B,ill's
home townj, some one would always
have to be along to see that the mascot
didn't graft. "However,', says Terry
James, "what care we for money?"
To this and a timely suggestion from
Hank Morey we owe our wise selection
-a choice that we considered mostirep-
resentative since it led to the purchase
of Michael. What, indeed, could be more
appropriate for true followers of St.
Patrick than a real Irish goat? And
what an asset he would be to our initia-
tion paraphernalia! Also, the saving in
the hauling away of tin cans alone,
would more than offset the purchase
What a docile goat he was, as we
led him home in the gloaming! So at-
tentive to all we said-an attitude that
promised ,much in regard to his amen-
ability to instruction-instruction that
would be so necessary to his education
as mascot of a Hourishing institution
like Shamrock Hall. He accepted food
and drink in true meekness of spirit and
it was this becoming manner that so en-
deared him to each of the twenty En-
gineers who stood watching in admira-
tion. "Sorne goat!" was the unanimous
verdict of the jury that saw him grow
sleek and fat on the daily fare provided
at our hall.
And nothing but deep appreciation
from Michael-naught save the most ex-
emplary behavior from our mascot-a
course that we now suspect was mapped
out with malice aforethought, his sub-
sequent actions bearing put our belief
that this subdued preliminary training
was for the sole purpose of conserving
energy for future mischief.
Our first perplexity arose when Mich-
ael, in addition to the ample fare pro-
vided, persisted in consuming ten-foot
lengths of hempen rope, which left him
free to choose his own digressions
through the neighboring yards. The
loan of a chain by a long suffering
neighbor failed to solve the problem,
and we have always suspected, but never
have we been able to prove that Bridget
"'5-- fi , - -
was our mascot's accomplice. You know
the Irish will stand together!
There are compensations in all things,
however, and we feel sure that it was
the splendid practice gained in sprint-
ing after Michael that gave "Fairy"
Wilkins First place in the Marathon last
It was. however. something of a blow
when we were obliged to raise a fund to
release the vagrant Michael from the
city Pound, his incarceration having
been at the instance of an outraged
Prof.. one E. P. Speer, who has a pen-
chant for early gardening. It was also
something of a mystery to us-this get-
ting Michael into the Pound. But these
Profs. and city oflicials are a crafty lot,
and we'll never believe but that Michael
was lured there under false pretenses.
Michael, you know, is that unsuspect-
ing, and having just dined to his soul's
content on juicy garden truck, he was,
no doubt, in high good humor, and so, an
easy victim to the wiles of these defend-
ers- of the law. And as if it were not
enough for us to pay the fine, the mem-
bers of our rescuing committee were
obliged to listen to a blustery justice of
the Peace expatiate on the wounded
feelings of the owner of the garden
which had been so ruthlessly devastated
by a worthless goat-a garden that had
been coaxed into existence only after
Weary Weeks of work by a patient P1'Of-,
who prized the result of his toil far
above the price of shekels. "It 001115 be
no balm to Prof. Speer's feelings," thun-
dered the austere justice, "to I'CCCiVC
pecuniary recompense now," but thC,.1aW
had no such contempt for lucre, and to
prove it, that nervy Justice fined us alll,
additional ten on general pri1'1CiP1C,Si
En route home with the gormandizing
Michael we stopped to view the re-
ma1ns of Prof. Speer's garden and, by
love! the Justice was right--there
wasn't enough left of that lovely little
cabbage patch to christen it brussels
sprouts! On reflection we decided that
it was no use nor was it any cheaper to
put Michael on short rations at the Hall,
as punishment for his unseemly be-
havior, for in spite of us or outside au-
thority he would forage for himself.
Yet, after his experience in the Pound
he seemed to realize the gravity of his
latest trespass and remained close home
for several days. We thought then we
had really impressed him that the Jus-
tice was not fooling when he said, "An-
other such caper and you will be obliged
to dispose of that infernal goat!',
So we heard no more complaints until
when Pete Stapp came down with the
small-pox, the neighbors all with one
accord pointed the accusing, Finger at
Michael, averring that his perambula-
tions in remote sections 'of the city had
been responsible for this awful judg-
ment on our tribe. Being property own-
ers we refused to have our patient trans-
ported to the pest-house, and we held'
out for our right to an investigation of
the accused Michael, with the result that
the most rigid inspection failed to re-
veal a single germ of this eruptive feb-
rile disease stalking abroad in Michael's
curly coat or lurking in sinister glee
anywhere about his goaty epidermis. So
we all kept quarantine together.
No doubt, to a less optimistic crowd,
the studied persistence with which fel-
10W.,gitiZCnS of the town "passed by on
'She other side" when traversing our
block, wouldhave been cause for cha-
grin, but appreciating the natural timid-
ity of human nature in a college town,
we generously overlooked the slight,
and did our utmost to show our fraternal
feeling by cheering the wayfarer with
hearty and unbiased greeting:
Small pox-Chicken pox-strict quaran-
Ruminate-Fumigate-We don't give a
As time went on we began to fear
that Michael must sooner or later de-
velop a yellow streak, he disposed of so
many of the Small Pox proclamations.
The City Council, however, displayed
great civic spirit in making a special ap-
propriation to enable the Board of
Health to keep us supplied with these
artistic posters, so all who ran might
With this one exception-this pe-
culiar taste for yellow literature, Mich-
ael's behavior all through quarantine
had been so exemplary we felt assured
of a laudable future, and when once
more we were allowed the sweet privi-
lege of mingling with our fellow men,
Michael was accorded privileges hither-
to withheld. With the devotion of a
lover the happy mascot attached himself
to the late invalid, whose society he had
been so long denied. And in sedatest
fashion would he stroll with Pete on the
latter's long walks to recover health,
while Pete's girl, fof course Pete's girl
was alongj, became very fond of the af-
All might have been well, if the girl
hadn't bought that new spring hat. Per-
haps it was all right for her to satisfy
her vanity with its purchase, but why
in heaven's name did she consider it nec-
essary to take the bonnet on a late
twilight stroll? Who'd see the thing at
night-and in the park?.
Anyway, Michael was caught red-
handed fMichae1 was so human we're
sure you'll let the metaphor passj the
discoverey beingmade as the last row of
straw' was tickling hisdiscriminating
palate. To the rest of us, the episode
spelled good judgment on Michae1's
part-Pat Donovan had seen the lid and
said it was a fright, but we couldn't say
to a patient just recuperating from re-
cent illness that his lady lacked good
taste in millinery. So we dutifully ex-
tended our sympathy to the bereaved
Pete. No need to say we'll make a long
story short, for all there was to it would
read like this: The girl lost the hat and
Pete lost the girl. Then to us Peter
said, "This is the last straw" Cthat was
literal, you knowj, "And was Michael
worth all this?"
Now, Michael being Irish, the answer
was obvious to all but Pete.
Mary Estimus Barnes.
A, Moonlight pastel
I-ILE moonlight fell full upon the
greensvs ard of the nounds The
' in '
greensward was soft, however,
and the moonlight sustained no
serious injuries. Between the third and
fourth columns two figures, economiz-
ing space in a manner painfully evident,
might have been seen sitting. The voice
of the youth, rising and falling to the
music of the power-house, finally stag-
gered to its feet and remarked:
"Winsome damsel, I am in love. I
have arrived at this conclusion not has-
tily, but after careful introspection and
experimentation. Since first I met you
I have been troubled, my most alarming
symptom being an aching void. Tonight
the throbbing of that vacuum has been
so strong that I have been able to locate
it in my heart."
The voice of the youth choked with
mingled emotion and tobacco, both 'of
which he had been incessantly swallow-
ing. Spreading a handkerchief upon the
ground, he fell upon his knees, severing
with his impetuosity the last bond of
connection between his suspenders and
"Oh, fairest of maids!" he' pleaded,
"enter now into that emptiness and H11
it with thy light and lavender perfume."
The fairest of maids smiled sadly and
abruptly. Her face wore that far-away
expression so characteristic of the dome.
I-Ier mind was wandering down the dim
corridors of memory and had further to
go than to the new library building. Her
silence had the 'delicate odor .of Spear-
mint. , The youth pressed her for an
answer until his arm ached with exer-
Finally, after consulting her 'blue-
book, she made reply:
"At present I am heart-free. How-
ever, Johnnie jones is scheduled for two
weeks from next Monday, until then I
As the fatefulwords fell from her lips
the youth caught them before they hit
the grass and pressed them to his bosom.
The maid leaned over and planted a kiss
upon his youthful brow, coyly removing
her teeth before doing.
After regulating their hearts so as to
run neck and neck, and combining their
thoughts into one idea, they wandered
out into the cold, unfeeling world, and
naught could be heard in the column-
punctured atmosphere save the strident
bazoo of the bull frog in the sewer. e
.Very respectfully submitted to the
1916 Shamrock. .
Q Carl D. Green.
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n Q 64, Pardon - I R -
Lk, V, ' p A I 'xx ll -,
Prof in Geom-"What is space?"
Freshman-"I can't explain it, but I
got it in my head all right." '
V aaa -
Fair Co-ed-"I suppose you will com?
mit suicide if I refuse you?"
He-"Ah, yes, that has been my cus-
tom." ' '
Welsh-QIn descriptive geometeryj,
"Now, Mr. Percival, how does that
look?" ' C
Percival Qwaking upj-"Oh, that's all
Welch-"Are you ina receptive posi-
tion back there, Mr. Percival? A little
greater perpendicularity of the body
might be better."
Shorthorn-"Meyer boards by the day,
doesn't he?', V1 ' -
Landlady's daughter-"What makes
you ask that?" '
Shorthorn-"I see that he comes in
every day-to pay his board, I suppose."
P14 X4 K4 A '
Calling on an intellectual woman is,
to the average man, just a form of men-
tal gymnastic practice lwhich he takes
to brace 'him up so that he can enjoy the
enervating society of some cute fluffy
little thing for the rest of the week.
The individual you can spare the
easiest is generally the one that is
around the most.
P14 PI4 P14
The man who is a failure hopes for
the best, but-the man who is a success
takes it. 'I' 'I' 'X' .
The foreman of a gang of railway men
has more than his share of Irish wit.
The other afternoon he was walking
along his section of the line
found one of his laborers fast
the shade of a hedge.
Eyeing the man with a stern smile, he
"Slape on, ye idle spalpeen-slape on.
So long as ye slape ye've got a job, but
when ye wake up ye're out of wurrkf'
P14 P14 P11
"The evening wore on," continued the
man who was telling the story.
P "Excuse me," interrupted the would-
be wit, "but can you tell us what the
evening wore on .the occasion?"
A "I don't think that it is important,"
replied the story teller. "But if you
must know, I believe it was the close of
a summer day."
' PF P14 P14
If a man lends his influence he rarely
gets it back. p B
PF 'B PI'
A genius is a man who knows when to
keep his mouth shut.
Pfix .E,,f' 1 ,ff .. .
...N I avi, 'P V V V R TE: ' "
EQ.. 10.11 me Q . '1
THE PERFECT CAR.
An lmbecile Four rolled up to the door,
All covered with extra devices galore,
NVith trunk, anti-rattlers, self-starter
NVi:h patent absorbers to take out the
With mirrorscope, primer, dust covers
With a twenty-man top which gets
stuck when it rains,
With fire extinguisher, rims which de-
With covers and holders and racks with4
With battery testers, a few extra tubes,
A slick cigar lighter to capture the
With dimmers and wrenches, gas Savers
And reinforced springs to take care of
Said I to the agent: "The car looks
Please quote me Qwith discountsj your
Very best price."
He Egured it out on the back of his cuff,
One-third for the car and two-thirds for
Oh, it isn't the power, the strength or
The "get there" or "come back" which
this car really needs,
But it's the trappings and gCWg-HWS and
That makes life worth while in the Im-
A. Lincoln Hyde, fat smokerj-"Some
fellows take engineering because they
saw Hart, Shaffner and Marx ad of a
man squinting through a telescope and
thought they would like t,o do that.
They wanted to be one of the men that
'Chew and Do.' "
PB if P14
A Western street car conducter is re-
ported none the worse for being struck
by lightning. A nonconductor. Q
P14 X4 P14
The man "who wants but little here
below" is the fellow who gets what he
IB PI4 PB
A promoter is the fellow who lets you
in on the ground floor but has his own
office in the basement.
P14 PI4 PI4
Funny how. the average .girl will
waste so much time and substance on
her hats, considering that nine men out
of ten measure her mentally, morally,
and spiritually by their first glance at
P14 P14 PX4 '
It's better to be up and a doing than
it is to be down and done.
PX4 PF PF
The new Swedish cook, who had come
into the household during theholidays,
asked her mistress:
"Where bane your son? I not seeing
him around no more."
"My son?" replied the mistress pride-
fully, Oh, he has gone back to Yale. He
could only get away long enough to stay
until New Year's Day, you see. I miss
him dreadfully, though."
"Yas. I know yoost how you feel.
My broder, he bane in yail six times
since T'anksgiving." A
1 ' fofxs . ,-
SEM ' 51183535
The door of hope swings both ways.
P14 if P14
"What I want," said the speaker,, "is
reform. I want police reform, I want so-
cial reform, I want temperance reform,
I want-I want-"
"What you want," called out a lis-
tener at the back of the hall, "what you
want is chloroform."
P14 PB' PB
A rather extraordinary experience
was the lot of one of our esteemed en-
gineer brothers, Mr. Longshore. It ap-
pears that he had been keeping com-
pany with one of the fair sex. Whether
or not he had or has any serious inten-
tions, we know. not.
Some time ago there happened to be
a game, the young lady wanted to see
that game very much,,in fact, she had
set her.dear little heart on it, and was
very determined that she should not
miss it, nor that he should miss it under
any circumstances. Several times while
strolling around the campus with her,
she gave him' several hints that she
wanted him to take her, but to no availg
Qhe would not fall for them.
Finally she became desperate and
blurted out, "Will you take me to the
game? Please do."
'fReally," he replied, "I can't, for I am
"'All right," came back a very weak
After a short time, he again met her
and she gave him a dollar and a half,
saying, "Buy our seats."
"'To be sure I willf' he exclaimed with
unadulteratedjoy. ' g
The day of the game was enjoyed
very much by both, not so much the
game, but the fact that they were to-
gether. Although it is to be supposed
that the young man felt 'rather like a
sheep killing dog, as the young lady had
made the date with him and had paid
Nearly a month had passed when he
made a startling discovery. The young
lady had given him a dollar and a half,
but that only a dollar of that was her
own, the other fifty cents she had' bor-
rowed from another young man that she
P14 P14 P14
Walter had received as a birthday
present a gift locomotive, the motive
power of which was electricity from a
storage battery. Delighted with the
toy, he would have spent most of his
time in its enjoyment but for the con-
stant warnings that he must be careful or
the batteries would run out. His Aunt
Letitia was the most persistent in these
admonitions and one rainy day he be-
come discouraged and went upstairs to
a closet in search of another toy. Aunt
Letitia followed and, during the quest,
kept up an uninterrupted flow of good
advice to little boys. In the thick of it
Walter gave up his hunt and stoically
marched down stairs. I-Iis mother in-
quired if he had found the toy. Q
"Oh, no," he replied with an audible
sigh. "I had to give it up, 'cause I was
afraid Aunt Letitia's batteries would
run out." -
P14 PI4 PF
G. D. Oliver-"I sure got even with
that girl, for I had a dance with her last
K4 P14 PI4
Kentucky Tailor - "And. the hip
pockets, Colonel, what size shall I make
them-pints or quarts?U
Eigli ty -Four
Hyde-"Mr, Marsh, look in the book
there is some valuable information in
Marsh-"It is like getting blood out
of a turnipf'
if 'If if
When you are passing around the
flowers to the fellows who are living, be
sure to leave out the poison ivy. The
recipient is apt to get all swelled up.
K4 '14 H4
Man can beat a woman all hollow on
the tight stunt. Laces can't touch booze
P14 'I' if
Experience may be a great teacher,
but a rnan's experience with a woman
seldom teaches him good sense. ,
if '14 14
The old blue laws were probably en-
acted for the purpose of preventing men
from painting towns red.
P14 if V14
One young man who was highly sen-
sitive about an impediment which he
had in his speech went to a stammerer's
institute and asked for a course of treat-
ment. The professor asked him if he
wanted a full or partial course.
"A p-p-artial c-c-oursef'
"To what extent would you like a par-
"Enough s-so that wh-when I go to
a f-f-florists and ask for a c-c-hr-chry-
s-s-anth Qwhistlej e-m-mum, the thing
won't w-w-wilt b-b-before I g-g-get it."
PE P14 V14
Strother-"Foster, what are yOu
doing with that American handbook?"
Foster-"Checking up my notes on
Strother-"How do they check?"
Foster-",oo2' per cent difference."
Hotwad-"Mr. Hutchinson, please
call up judge Stewart, contractor and
get the depreciation on a jackass for a
period of three years, which in.forma-
tion will enable us to figure the effi'
ciency on a 'Missouri Conveyor? " .
. PF P14 P14
Finlay-"What are you going to do
with your dam when you get it de-
signed-sell it for a million dollars?"
Boll-"No, I wouldn't give a dam for
. P14 P14 P14
B,urger-"Why didn't you put Your
name in the middle, Les?"
Strother-"That's to show my eccen-
P14 PX4 PE
Scary Williams-CSeeing C. D. Green
with his new jockey capj, "Hey, Green,
got a stable at home?"
Ima Nut-"Does your fountain pen
leak like that all of the time?"
Soami-"Oh my, no. just when I
have ink in it."
P14 P14 P14
"I see that you have your arm in a
sling," said the inquisitive passenger,
Broken, isn't it?"
"Yes, sir," responded the other pas-
senger. , .
"Meet with an accident ?"
"No, broke it while trying to pat my-
self on the back."
"Great Scott! What for?"
"For minding my own business."
P14 PB PB
Fred P. Hutchinson would pause dur-
ing the most momentous moment of his'
life to enter some sort of fruitless argu--
ment, for the pleasant pastime of exer-
cising his vocal chords. i
In an encounter with a powerful elec-
tric current in the A. C. laboratory, Rob-
ert Walker came out the victor.
When he attempted to make a much
deferred connection, the power factor
was suddenly increased, the phase was
split, some amperes were spilled, and
the switchboard was given a black eye.
Physically, Robert was uninjured, but
hysterically he was upset.
The justice of the peace was just on
the point of marrying a couple.
"Oh, before I begin," he said, "I must
find out your names."
"Marrius," said the bridegroom.
"Shure," said the justice of the peace,
"as soon as I find out your names."
"Marrius," said the groom.
"Yep," repeated the'justice, "but I
first must know your full name."
"Will U. Marrius," said the groom.
"No! I will be damned if I will."
Hot Wad-"Can't remember whether
I used my Ford this morning or whether
I walked all of the way to the office."
X4 'If P14
Daddy Ctelling the class that they can-
not multiply cows by miles and get cow-
milesj-"We are not nearly as hampered
as we hamper ourselves by these won-
derful logical processes."
Hot Wad recently attended church at
one of our churches on Broadway, and
was seated upon a back seat between
and among some gay C. C. girls.
After church, he drew the usher aside
and said in low tones, "Say-who were
those girls? I thought that they were
Daddy-"That scheme of education
which pretends to prepare for life and
eliminate drudgery is a scheme and a
Lady- 'Mr. Colvin are you specializ-
ing in paving?"
Lady-"What is the chief objection
to concrete pavement in this climate?"
P14 P11 PI4 -
Is Charles Steinmetz guilty of Plag-
iarism or is this a case of two "great"
minds with but a single thought? Com-
pare these two extracts.
Extract from Steinmetz's Engineering
Mathematics page 271:
"With the most brilliant engineering
design, however, if in the numerical cal-
culations of a single structural member
an error is made, and its strength there-
by calculated wrong, the rator of the
machine flies to pieces by centrifugal
forces, or the bridge collapses, and with
it the reputation of the engineer."
Extracts from comments made by
Prof. H. Wade Hibbard on the first
page of a senior electrical's blue book:
"Ther engineer who copies wrong or
places a decimal point in the wrong
place, no matter how perfect his method,
is dangerous. His bridge will fall, his
boiler explode, his current kill. He is
useless in the profession." '
P14 PI4 PF
She-"Are you going to have a foot-
man when you get rich?"
She-"Why? Won't you want some-
one to take you in?" -
T-Te-"When I start home I will be all
Platt discusses ages with Burger in
design class and seriously contends that
he is the oldest.
Platt-"How old are you, Burger?',
Burger-"Soon be 23."
Platt-"Shoot! I was some punkins
when I was your age."
Vlfeine, Qin Generation and Distribu-
tionsj-i'Tague your feedt down, Strod-
der. I wandt to talgk to you and I candt
The only way Weine could recognize
the men that were talking Generation
and Distribution last semester was by
looking at their feet. That was all he
saw of them during class.
PX4 P14 PX1
Bug-"When, Gertie goes to Chicago
Knutt-"I don't think that he will un-
less something happens to transformer
looks." G ,
PI4 P14 PB
A cute little thing was beingshown
through the locomotive works.
She fpointingj-"What is that thing
Engineer-2'Oh! That is an engine
She-"They boil engines! Why do
they boil them?"i
Engineer-"To make the engine ten-
'If H P14
Why not have the Powers That Be
provide Morris chairs for the engineers
to recline in during morning inspection.
We are sure that they would be appre-
- P14 P14 PI'
Hortense Francis Maj01', Dean of ffhe
Campus "buck Brush," and who during
the process of some of his experimental
work incidentally built the cross walk
in the rear of Academic Hall, must have
designed it for the boiler room of Hell,
judging from the color of the concrete
and the excessive width of the expan-
sion joints, crossing the Walk at about
every twelve feet.
if P14 my
Roddy-"What is the significance of
Toad-"The weight of an inch cube
of water one foot high."
P14 P14 P14
Student to Prof-"Professor, some-
thing has been worrying me, I can't iig-
ure it out."
Prof-"Well what is it? Maybe we
can solve it." '
Student-"Do 'they get steel wool
from a hydraulic ram?"
Profane silence preparatory to storm,
hasty exit of student.
P14 P14 P14
Student Cin General Mathj-"Phase is
the angle passed through before time
begins to count."
P14 P14 PI4
Hot Wad is the best known ineffec-
tive smoke consumer and preventer in
the M. E. Dept. His -theories are based
on the fact that a conflagration could not
possibly result from smoking in an of-
fice, but can readily be the direct cause,
resulting from corridor smoking, be-
cause it is a university ruling. Ask Boll.
'If if 1+
Hot Wad-"Mr, Hubbard, what be-
comes of the energy from the bacon that
I ate three days ago for breakfast, if I
slide this book across the table today?"
Hubbard-"I don't knowf' . '
Hot Wad-"The energy in the bacon
iw " 'Siigggock
is turned into glycogen which is stored
up in my brain and in the muscles of my
arm. When I slide the book, some of
the glycogen of my brain is oxidized
sending a motor impulse to cause an
oxidization of glycogen in my ,arm
which in turn slides the book, trans-
forming the energy caused by friction
into heat. The heat escapes through the
open window out of the room, warming
up the atmosphere of Columbia, and the
workmen take off their overcoatsf'
Hubbard-"Some bacon! ! !"
if PF +14
Allgeier wanted to run his thesis on
Stephen's College power plant, but "A,
C." thought that
factor being too
besides the diversity
great, the load was
your girlis name is Cecil? that's a boy's
Cox-"Well, I've been figuring on
changing it." '
does it happen that
By H. W. Hfbbard.
"I, as a mechanical engineer, which I
think I am, that is I am considered as
being a successful man and a scientific
engineer, don't know what I would do
in such a case, that is I don't think I do.
I once, while I was with the Lehigh
Valley, just after my trip to Europe in
1892, being sent there by the Pennsyl-
vania to study the Mannesmann process,
that is, I think that I was sent there for
that purpose, while 83,000,000 worth of
my compound locomotives were under
construction, had such a case come be-
fore me. I think that after listening to
Karapetoff playing on 'my piano in my
private residence, I decided to do that'
thing, that is I am pretty certain I did,
still I am not sure, so I will look it up
in Kent. Mr.--just what was I
thinking about while Karapetoff was
playing my piano in my private resi-
dence? I know this, however, that if I
did do that thing, I used chrome nickel
vanadium steel, heat treated to the sor-
bitic condition at about 1200 Cawnti-
grade, that is, I have an idea that it was
either gammar or betar iron. I very
likely first studied the microscopic
structure according to the Roberts Aus-
ten diagram in my new Encyclopedia
Brittanica, eleventh edition, page 1140,
six inches from the bottom, where I
have made marginal annotations accord-
ing to my own practical experience.
Now if you are wise men you will do
the same, for I do it. This was a great
aid to me while a student at Brown, for
then I fought a duel with Edwin Booth
the great actor-shortly after I left
Brown on account of bad health caused
by examinations-on the stage of the
local theater, wherein I was disarmed
much to my discomiiture, 'since I was
a very noted fencer and could have won
the duel with ease if only I had had a
chrome nickel vanadium heat treated
steel foil according, to the specifications
of the American Society of Automobile
engineers, and approved by myself. This
was the cause of my putting a gear of
like microscopic texture in my new ex-
perimental lathe. At the next meeting,
you will be prepared on Chapter 9. Are
there any questions, as to the lesson to-
day? I think that I have explained it
A MORNING IN GRAPHQIC right? All right." Marks in his book:
HYde-"NOW men, we have a parabolic
truss. I have drawn it on the board,
Now," taking the pointer, "at these
points we have loads of 3 kips. I want
you to make stress diagrams removing
three kips each time. No, we won't fin-
ish that last exercise, so get out a fresh
sheet. Time counts, but accuracy counts
a great deal more. The man who gets
through in a hurry and only has half of
his work correct will not get as much
as the man who takes the whole period
and gets it all right. Now don,t," see-
ing one of the fellows starting, "start
yet. You must all start at the same
timef' Takes out his watch, "Go."
"Mr. Hubbard, don't converse with
Mr. Gray. He probably doesnit know
any more than you. You are liable to
get the wrong impression."
Hubbard-"Gray and I were not con!
versing about the problem. I only asked
him for an eraser,"
Hyde-"I think it is best for every
man to have his own materials and
"Mr, Marsh, you say that you can't
get that problem? Well it would be a
good idea for you to look in the book-
no, I mean outside of class-it contains
a great deal of valuable information."
Marsh-"Yes, but it is like getting
blood out of a turnipf' '
VHyde-"Ask me any questions you
Want to about the problem! it gives me
a better idea how to grade YOU- Each
question counts off of your grade. just
a minute, Mr. Turner, there are others
before you. ' Mr. Golladay, S0 You are
through, Are you sure that you are
Golladayg 9:3o:59M. No. questions
- Classified Ads
WANTED-At once, a good reliable
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Must be able to furnish references and
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equipped with oil immersion lens and
micrometer adjustment for my "Baby
Grand" slip-stick. One operating on A.
C. preferred. A. C. Lanier.
WANTED-By students in Roddy's
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Are you drowsy and inefficient? Does
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TAKE "SPEEDINE"-Banishes that
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HSPEEDINEH is indorsed by M. P.
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- -:::oo:::::::::::: :::o::a::::QQ
Learn at home. In a few minutes daily
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' Bugs Wharton,
care Hetzler Bros.
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ENGlNEERS when buying please patronize our aclvertisers as much as possible
ll ll ll ll ' Ill Il lu
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Uver Fifty Years Successful Business
Founded on Better Grades, Lower Prices, Square Dealing
WE FURNISHED MATERIAL FOR THE CONSTRUC-
TION OF ALL BUILDINGS ON OLD CAMPUS .0 0
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BOWLING LUMBER COMPANY
EIGHTH AND CHERRY Phone No. 2
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The People? Barber Sho
Try the "Big Boy" in the first chair---He always pleases
714 BROADWAY Phone 288 Black
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I design and install
PLANTS, furnishing equip-
ment complete or in part
fincluding Wiring supplies,
fixtures, lampsj - whether
of 32-volt type for private
homes Clike cutl, or large
K.VV. units Cfor towns.
schools, estatesb of 110-220
volts, direct connected or
belted-with or without
oil engines being commonly
used. Battery gives 24-hour
service, and on farm re-
quires no extra time or ex-
pense, as it is charged
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lg t Specialty Since IQO8
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fx. f- 1 --ei ., , ,fp Jeff:-,6f4..vy?k-.-944, f --
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while pumping or grinding,
or on wash day: if engine
is used only for charging.
cost is few cents a day.
Plants are simple, pralc-
tical, economical, inexpen-
sive. Estimates given.
Notice! Fellow Knights
and Students, I invite co-
operation on prospective
sales: merely locate the
prospect, advise conditions
and requirements. and I'll
do the rest! This means
money for us both!
ERIN GO BRAGH!
Plants 1 to 200 H. P.: Any Voltage-Any Conditions. Water Supply fPumps-Rams.j
For Details Re erences
l.iterature,ilVrifeor seg E., 1005 Pine St., St. Louis, Mo.
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C e n t r a a n
G. B. Dorsey, U. of M., 1869-70, President Ira T. G. Stone, U. of M., A.B.'o3, Cashier
W. E. FarIe37, U. ofIVI. 1882-83, V-President W. Sapp, U. of M. 1880-81, Asst. Cashier
With every facility for handling your
general banking b usin e ss
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Pennants Fillow Covers
OOD PICTURE FRAMING
B E A u T Y
Q u A LIT Y
All aregiven just consideration at
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Ninety per cent of the pictures in
this book were taken i9y---
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For General Hardware---Call or Phone No. 1344
Renie Hardware Company
Guitar Building Guitar Building
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Triangie Piwotoplajfs T Popular Vauclevilie
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Hax7e Your Next Photograph TViacie At
No. op South cptiw Street fAcross from Penn,sD
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2 TOB.'XCCOS A 'gQ1QDQgg '
3 Paramount Quality S
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s TI-IE PALMS '
E scum OF ACADEMIC HALL 5
2 FANCY DRINKS 0 LUNCI-IES Q
f RAuL I-IULETT 5
5 FOR TRANSFER BUSINESS 5
0 ' A HWWWWWMWWWHWWWWHHWWHHWWHI Q
Q A A zz t 0 S e r 11 i c e E
2 Prompt Delivery 5
2 You think of--FLCWERS You think of A
E NO. SSOULI1 Ninth P11OHe555W11ite E
can ' Q55 can 5
2 LEM MORRIS
I Closed Cars Closed Cars 5
----- A - A --- A- 'A I
:::h:::l:::o4:::p4: : :::: : :::::o:zcooqzzcooocc:::o:::::l::::::::Q:::: 2 -
53.00 Meal Tickets for 252.50
ax- A A-1,,Tli1 A T re.-Q Leia
' Model Lunch
A 1 1 North Ninth Street
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The Exchange National Bank
Will appreciate your business whether the account
be large or small.
GIVE US A TRIAL IF YOU ARE NOT A CUSTOMER, AND WE
ARE SURE YOU WILLJBE PLEASED.
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Chas. Matthews 22212223
Mansfield and Republic ' o 8
Tires and Tubesl Ei?3?way
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He Is! He Is!
Jimmie is the bestest little
Engineer you ever savv
when it comes to guiding
trade to the Jimmie Stores.
You know why?
The CoIIege Inn
The K K K
The Virginia Confectioner
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e Coiiege oom
' Chas. Hastings, Proprietor
Drink in the HCoIIege Roomn where you
'vQiII he serx7ecI in a prix7ate hooth anci haw7e
the choice of our seiect anti fancy drinks. i
We Endeavor to Please
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rfhis Printing Piant Is In Qperation
Night and Day
anti the H0x7erheadn cost is therefore cut in haif
. I , X439 I, Miki? 1
2 THIS BOOKLET Q A nff 55254 Q WE GIVE SERVICE
: WAS PRINTED .J f ,W jg V: 5 UNEXCELLED
g IN TWO DAYS 425g Lgf gr, AT LEAST COST
. I t , , 2 4:5 +-
f i f 'a 4 24 T
0 ' ' 0
73 L D .ex
- U I S
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