University of Miami - Ibis Yearbook (Coral Gables, FL)

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was closed, Ms. Average hooks up with some of her fraternity brothers at Happy Hour with the intention of doing a little ttcelebrating? Please understand that most guys, re- gardless of whether they had greek letters or an Allsports logo on their shirts, subscribe to the following theories. First, knowing when to say when, means knowing when to make the mad dash to destination urinal. Second, drinking responsibly was the avoidance of spilling beer on the blouses of beautiful women. And finally, beechwood aged for that clean, crisp taste...this Budis for them. So, with her fate in the hands of the brotherhood of I Tappa Kegga, Ms. Average finds her petite 10 1-pound frame cannonball- ing Michelob Drys like Evian until she cannot tell the difference between a Busch and a Heiniken. Which brings us back to the religious overtones. She would spend the next hour or so feeling the effects of the holy wateris spirits. Next the young lady would drop to her knees and carry out some serious praying to the porcelain god. Which was followed by the inevitable confession about her commitment to Harold back in Exit Threeville. Not everyone got sloshed as just chron- icled. Peoplels drinking tolerance levels were quite similar to the boxing weight Classes. In this sense, those with the attributes of Mike Tyson could drink a full case and a half of Beckls and still spot an ant on the underside of the VCR. Those who resembled a stick- and-move version of Pee Wee Herman how- ever, could mistakenly identify you friend as a palm tree of a slippery when wet sign. Regardless of each studentls individual conditioning, beer had indeed become an intricate part of socialization. But please do not get the mistaken impression that every- one drank to reach the point of no return. Still, the fact remained that if most students were given the choice between a Saturday after- noon game of ke g softball and a guaranteed A on their political paper chronicling the rise and fall of the Bull Moose Party, priorities would prevail. Play ball! 27 Student Life

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University of Miami students are preoc- cupied with many important thoughts during the school year. Things like getting a tan in those hard-to- reach places, finding a parking space on occasion, and meeting that special someone for nine hours of insignificant passion. While all of these endeavors were ex- tremely meaningful to the livelihood of any- one who had ever walked the halls of the Merrick Building for five hours in a futile effort to find room 145.82L, one fetish still permeates the psyche of Miamils finest from midnight to midnight, Friday to Friday. The joy of six. It is probably safe to assume, knowing full well what you do when you llass-u-me , that 99.44 percent of those who carry a Cane Card with that awful mug you wouldnit show your hamster Bullwinkle also have carried a long neck at least once. By the way, the other .56 percent only leave their cubicles in Stan- ford Residential College to go to the 8:30 am. microdeathology lab and chew on grilled pancreasburgers at the 960 cafeterialslopatoe rium. In fact, Pete Rose might have been will- ing to lay the points and bet that on those special nights when drinking is condoned, like all seven of the week, a cup of barley and hops was more like a required part of the anatomy. Either a third arm that helps pull friends closer who know youlre buying or a third eye that has a foggy enough lens to spot that attractive member of the opposite sex regardless of his or her losing battle with Oxy 10. Sure, some students had made the social habit of beer drinking more of a religion than anything else. But all things considered, tab- bing the process of alcohol consumption as somethin g holy may be quite appropriate. For example, let i 3 take your average Miami female freshman from Exit Fourville, New J ersey who still had a boyfriend back in nearby Exit Threeville. Only minutes after scraping out a D-minus on her pre-med midterm, a class she had not attended since the last time the pool a; Student Life tphoto illustration by Tracy Mackl Onefetish still permeates the psyche of M iami's finest from midnight to midnight, Friday to Friday BY TODD WRIGHT

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WVUM WAS ONE OF THE FE W stations in South Florida whose format consisted of various shows appealing to all musical tastes. In the vast WVUM record library, Debbie Beaton looks among thousands of albums for a particular title. tphoto by Tracy Mackt MUCH MORE GOES into preparing a radio show than most students realized. General Manager Adam Abramson is responsible for keeping the student-run, non-profit station in working order. tphoto by Tracy Mackt Wm wmwwm Q Student Life