University High School - Cub Yearbook (Oakland, CA)

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THE LINE IS BUSYH Eve s telephone numberf281 Apple. Adam's telephone numberw-812. Jack DuFrane-VVhatis the most nervous thing next to a woman? Har1'y Gruwell-llle, next to a woman. L'Lives of football men remind us That they write their names in bloodg And, departing, leave behind them Half their faces in the mud. VV e wonder why Sanford Tiede- man took it as a personal insult when lNIiss lNIartin remarked, after we had moved into a new study- hall the other day, Id ask you all to make yourselves at home, but I am afraid of what some of you might do ! VVe think too much of our health to tell you who did it, but somebody handed in the following in an American history quiz: General Braddock was killed in the Revolutionary war. He had three horses shot under him and a fourth went through his hat. VVild-eyed Customer, rushing madly into a hardware store-Have you any carbolic acid? Clerk-eNo, but we have a fine stock of guns, knives and ropes. Don-Are you going anywhere tonight? Fran-Why, er, no. Don-VV ell, then, you won't be tired in the morning, will you? City Doctor-Iim sorry, ma'am, but you ll have to be vaccinated in your precinct. Colored Lady Qmuch perturbedj -MNO, you don't, doctah, ahim goin' to be vaccinated jest like these heah othah people, right on :nah ahm! His Dad-I m glad to hear that you are taking Harmony, son. I Wish that I had studied it in high school. Sonny-So do I. Cards come out next week. Teachergi-live me a definition of dust. Rudyelllud with the juice squeezed out. Georgia-VVhat do you think? Bill said, Hello Alicen to me to- day. AliceW'I'hat's nothing, some- body bumped into me yesterdiy and said, '6Holy lNIoses, is that you?,' Do you know how to find :1 wo- man out? No, how? Call when she isn't in. Aspiring Journalist-Do you think my story's any good, M . Brownlee. Mr. Brownlee-Yes, I think it's better than the original! lllay--Is Jack out of the hospi- tal yet? Bee-Yes, he went home Satur- day. May-Do you know who is in thi: hospital now? Bee--No, who? lllay---Sick people. 52

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CUB CRACKS DESPONDENT I stood on the bridge at midnight, As the clocks were striking 2 :30. And I looked at tl1e dirty water, And sez I: 'gAin't the water dirty V-Exchan ge. Mrs. ltlason-'l'ranslate, 1 rex fugit. Meredith Hinton-The king flees. Mrs. Mason-With the perfect tense you should use has. lNIeredith-T he king has flees. Mr. Brownleefllll give you just one day to hand in that paper. Rosalie Runyon - All right. How about the Fourth of July. Don Smith-Do you think his- tory repeats itself ? Lloyd Kramer-You said it. I'm taking it for the fourth time. Ainlt it funny how some teach- ers' ideas about Student Govern- ment have changed since they have had to spend their lunch periods patrolling the halls? Joke Editor-lNIr. Brownlee, why do you want me to take this joke out of the column? Mr. Brownlee--Ilm afraid if we print that there won't be enough copies to go around. More than one girl who never washed a dish in her life has a rough chap on her hands. CHEBIISTRY Frances-Did you get that weight problem? Rolph-No. Frances-How near were you to the right answer? Rolph Q thinkin g j -Five seats away. Exasperated History Teacher- Class, you are so indefinite. Can't anyone tell me in a few words just what was the first thing Jackson did? Alice, you try it? Alice Queenan-The first thing Jackson did was to introduce thc spoils system. E.H.T.-Yes. There, now, you have it, all in a nut-shell. R. J .-Y ou are a druggist and a chemist? Druggist-I am. R. J .-Understand your Work thoroughly? Druggist-I do. R. J .HIS that your diploma hanging over there? Druggist-It is. R. J .-Wfell, then, give me a tooth brush. VVe just caught hold of a rumor that certain feminine members of our faculty are engaged, to be mar- ried. lNIore Power to them! English Teacher-Use a word three times and it is yours. Alan Scott - Jessie, J essie, Jessie.

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A CUB STUDENTS WAII1 VVrite out a poem for tomorrow Using all the rules you know ! Them words you uttered so casual- like, lNIatter-of-fact and low, As though it were simple and nat- ural f or one To write something worth being read, But, oh, lNI1'. Brownlee, itls terri- ble hard VVhen you've got a cold in your head! The beautiful thoughts simply will not come When you have to stop writing to sneeze. There's nothing poetic about a sore throat, So just have a heart, won't you please? I tried to write pathos, I,d got to the point Where the poor old mother,s ' heart bled, p VVhen a racking cough recalled to my mind I'd a terrible cold in my head. Then I tried some descriptiong a silvery lake, VV ith its gracefully gliding canoes, And the happy young people with w. laughter and song Interrupted by many Kachoos ! No use! Iad be tragic! The heroine cries, V . I'm starving! Please get me some bread !,' Aw, heck, let 'er starve, I,m half dead myself Wfith a tC1'I'lblC cold in my head. A narrative poem caught my fancy at last, So to work I set with a will, Till that local anemiaw germ in my nose Sent me off to bed with a chill. My fever riz',. It's that poetry done it! You can see for yourself Ilm most dead! Some day, lNIr. Brownlee, you'll re- member these woids,', VVhen youlve got a cold in your head! Smart-Lend me a dollar and Illl be indebted to you for life. Smarter - Thatls what I'm afraid of. Funny-You better keep your eyes open around here today. New-VVhat for? Funny-People will think you a fool to go around with them shut! For most of us, especially around Qld Clothes Day, there is considerable consolation to be had from R. L. Stevenson's words: Give me the man who has brains enough to make a fool out of him- self occasionally! x qt 5