University of Arkansas Fayetteville - Razorback Yearbook (Fayetteville, AR)

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13. Now in the third month of the year and on the 19th day thereof, the King’s people were amazed to find their enemies within their very walls and proudly waving a flag of green over their heads. 14. Then the Juniors banded themselves together and attacked the enemy with might and main. 15. And after a short but fierce conflict, the flag was seized and rent in many pieces. 16. Then the triumphant victors took each one a piece of the enemy’s flag as a token of their glorious achievement. 17. And the damsel Sue, whose surname was Burney, took unto herself a piece also; but being attacked by the enemy she put the precious scrap in her mouth and, heroine-like, swallowed it. 18. Now on the next day, which was the 20th day of the month, the enemy assembled on the Campus round about the King’s Balace, and planted their flag and defied the King’s people to take it down. 19. Then the King’s people, being greatly incensed at this encroachment upon the King’s territory, quickly put on their armor and girded up their loins and made haste to meet the enemy. 20. And many of the Preplets and the townspeople and the inhabitants of the neighboring countries came thither to witness the desperate conflict. 21. And there was one whose name was Smythe, of the tribe of Johnson, who beat back the vast throng of spectators with a weapon known in those days as an umbrella, lest peradventure they also should become involved in the fierce combat. 22. And there were some sojourning in the land who had been sent there by the tribe called Legislature, and they stood afar off and marvelled greatly among themselves for fear the frenzied victors would turn upon them and devour them. 23. The battle was long and fierce, and many times the flag came near being taken. 24. And it came to pass that in the heat of the battle that one Rupert of the House of Taylor was so engaged by his antagonists that a nether garment was rent in many pieces and scattered over the battle-ground. 25. And the fair damsels came and gathered the pieces up as souvenirs of young Rupert’s gallant deeds. 26. Now, when the battle had raged far into the middle of the day, the leaders on the one side and the leaders on the other side agreed to a compromise. 27. And a holiday was proclaimed throughout the King’s territory, and a great feast announced. 28. Now, when the evening was come, the combatants on either side began to assemble at the Great Feast Hall, each one bringing with him a lady of his own choice. 25

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Chapter III. 1. And the next year came again these certain ones, in the ninth month of the year. 2. And they were called no more by their old names, but they were called by a new name, even by the name of Juniors. 3. Now, when the morning of the opening was fully come, the new King, whose name was Henry S., of the tribe of Hartzog, assembled them and spake unto them after this manner: 4. “ Verily, I say unto you that I am your King, who is to rule over you, and there will be sent unto me a mighty Captain by the name of Lanning, of the tribe cf Parsons. 5. “And these things do I speak unto you, that ye should not be offended: 6. “ The Faculty shall compel you to drill without ceasing; they shall put you out of the Varsity, for to do such occasionally will give them a better stand¬ ing ; yea, the time will come, that whosoever fireth you will think that he doeth a righteous act. 7. “ These things will they do unto you also because they fear the wrath of the King and his Captain. 8. “ And this shall be your creed : “ I believe in Henry S., the King Almighty, Ruler of the University and Dormitory; and in Captain Parsons, the only-begotten military man, who was con¬ ceived in a military age, born a military genius; suffered under the strict discipline of West Point, was reprimanded, punished, and reduced to ranks; he rose again the third year; he ascended unto Arkansas, and sitteth at the right hand of Henry S., the King Almighty, and from thence he comes, at the end of the seventh period, to command the ‘ slobs ’ and ‘ farmers ’ of the military department; I believe in Henry S., the King Almighty, and his Captain; the University of Arkansas, the discontent and insubordination of the cadets, the remission of their sins, and ever • lasting punishment on drill days. 9. “ But these things have I told you that when the time shall come, ve may remember that I told you of them. And none of you shall ask me nor my Captain: Why doest thou ? ” 10. Now it came to pass that, in the third year of their sojourn, a mighty nation rose up to harass and vex the King’s people. 11. And they boasted of their valor; for there were among them two giants whose strength and prowess, as leaders against the mighty Philistines on the terrible place called Gridiron, was known throughout all the ends of the earth. 12. And these are their names: William, of the House of Ruggles, and Lemuel, of the House of Bryan. 24

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2 g. And there was great rejoicing and feasting and singing and dancing even far into the night. 30. And after these things there was peace until the coming of the end of the year. Chapter IV. 1. And yet again on the ninth month of the year came these certain ones to sojourn for a season in the King ' s Palace of Learning. 2. And they brought their gifts as was their custom and placed them on the alter before the King. 3. Then the King said unto them, “ Lo, I have brought ye up out of the land of great tribulations and your names shall be known among men as Seniors.” 4. And they were made glad, and were exceedingly happy that year, for naught troubled the land. 5. Howbeit, some strayed from their fellows and were attacked by the old enemies called Doubtful and Examination. 6. And it came to pass that in that year they chose among their number, and John, of the House of Bloom, was to rule over them. 7. And the damsel Fay of the House of Blanchard did prophesy great things for her people. 8. And James, whose surname was Walker, was the people’s treasurer and he kept watch both day and night, lest peradventure thieves should break through and steal. 9. And there was one Rufus, of the House of Nelson, who for a time received the Green Forest daily, but failing to pay up the dues, the paper was discontinued 10. And there was Earl White Chappie, who put on his cap and gown and hied himself away to have his picture made for the Cardinal. 11. And there was one named Sammy, of the tribe of Swearingen, who was a most faithful military man and the same was he who was the Captain’s chief adviser. Yea, he even advised the Captain to have the cadets study tactics. 12. And there was Fay, of the House of Webster, who was a most handsome lad, and in his presence the ladies were most delighted. 13. And there was one fair damsel by the name of Josie, of the House of Droke, who strove mightily for an office high among her people, but all her efforts were in vain. 14. And it was she who wanted a cap and a gown and a programme for Commencement day, but all the assembled host cried with a loud voice saying, “ None of our number shall have such on Commencement day.” 26