University of Arkansas Fayetteville - Razorback Yearbook (Fayetteville, AR)

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lor I am a jealous King visiting the punishment of the Discipline Committee upon them that .hate me. 14. “ Thou shalt not take the name of the good King, thy ruler, in libel; for the King will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in libel. 15. “ Remember the Sabbath Day, to study from morn till night. Six days shalt thou study and learn all thy lessons: and the seventh day thou shalt study also, thou and thy roommate, thy sweetheart, and thy friend that is within thy door. 16. “ Honor thy King and his Captain ; that thy days may be long in this abode of learning. 17. “Honor thy Professors and study thy lessons: that thy grades mav be “ E.” 18. “ Thou shalt not whisper in the library. 19. “ Thou shalt not sit on the stairway, nor read the bulletins during study hours. 20. “ Thou shalt not ‘ swipe ’ pencils or anything that belongeth to thy fellow students. 21. “ Thou shalt not 4 cut ’ Chapel, nor drill, nor play off sick. 22. “ Thou shalt not commune with thy lady love; for, whosoever doeth this thing, violateth the fiftieth commandment and bringeth upon himself the wrath of the King and the Faculty.” 23. And it came to pass, when King John had ended these things, the people were astonished at his commandments. 24. Then they went out from his presence and marveled, for they wot not how to escape the punishment for so many wrongs. 25. Now the fifth day after this, the same King John assembleth the band of youths and separateth them into two ranks, the on on the right hand and the other on the left. 26. Then he sayetli unto them on the left hand, “ Depart from me, ye igno¬ rant, unto Prep. Hall, prepared for King Cole and his subjects. 27. “ And these shall go away into dire punishment; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” 28. Then he sayeth unto them on the right hand, “ Come, ye makers of Grade 75, for of such is the Collegiate Department, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the University.” 29. When these things were past, those that were received into the Collegi¬ ate Department were called Freshmen, and each one betook himself to his work and strove diligently for a space of nine months. 30. Howbeit, they were oppressed by their enemies and many among them were utterly destroyed by the foul dragons that inhabited the land. 31. Now when the great Feast of Commencement was come, in the time C2

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I listorg of the Class of 1904. Chapter I. 1. Now in the ninth month, that is, the month September, in the year one thousand nine hundred, a band of gallant youths and fair young maidens gathered themselves from the East and from the South unto the King’s camping-ground. 2. And when the 19th day of the ninth month was fully come, they were all with one accord wandering in the halls of the King’s Palace and staring at one another in bewilderment. 3. And suddenly there came a sound from the lower hall as of a mighty gong, and it filled all the house where they were gathered. 4. Now, when the cause of the mighty sound was noised abroad, the multitude came together in the great hall called the Chapel. 5. Early on the same morning were come all the chief scribes and the King s counsellors known as the Faculty, that they might instruct the honest youths who had assembled there from the length and breadth of the countries round about. 6. On a throne in one end of the Chapel was seated the good and wise King John, and around him sat his counsellors arrayed in all the splendor and magnifi¬ cence of the land. 7. And all the multitude was amazed at such wisdom. 8. Then the King rose up and stood before the people, and he spake unto them from the lamb’s book, saying: 9. “ The day of enlightenment is nigh at hand, and I have brought thee unto the Palace of Knowledge that thou mayest be prepared for the coming thereof. 10. “ The law of the wise is a fountain of life to them that desire knowledge; therefore, I give unto thee these commandments: 11. “ Knowledge shalt be thy motto. 12. “ Thou shalt have no other motto before thee. 13. “Thou shalt not make unto thee any air-castles, or any likeness of one: 21

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appointed of the month June, when each had gathered in the labors of the year, there was feasting and rejoicing and singing of praises to the All-Good King. 32. And after six days, they departed every one to his father’s house, where they abode until the coining of the Fall. Chapter II. 1. Now it came to pass that when the Fall was come, this same band of Fresh¬ men gathered themselves again to the King’s camping-ground, even in the halls of the King’s Palace of Learning. 2. And when the King stood before them they all, with one accord, cried with a loud voice, saying, 3. “ O King, thy ways are most gracious and full of wisdom; hear its, we beseech thee, and lead us yet another season in the paths of knowledge.” 4. And when they had made an end of speaking the King lifted up his voice and cried, 5. “ Diligently hath thou labored, oh, ye Freshmen, and in ye I am well pleased; therefore, toil no longer in the land of Freshmen, but come up higher, yea even unto the land called Sophomore. ” 6. And they toiled mightily for the space of two hundred and seventy days. 7. Now it came to pass that the new land was inhabited by even greater enemies and more powerful monsters than the land of Freshmen. 8. And some there were who fell by the wayside and were utterly devoured by the monster called Chemistry. 9. And some there were who fell victims to the foul dragon called Doubtful Case Committee, who goeth about seeking whom he may devour. 10. Others were attacked by their old Latin enemies under the leadership of Jack the Great, but, having secured “ ponies ’’ from Hinds and Noble beforehand, the Sophomores gained a glorious victory. ti. Now, when the time of their sojourn in the land of Sophomore was at hand, the King appeared before them and spake unto them (and his voice was as one very feeble and full of years), saying, 12. “ Hear me, O mv children. Long have I labored with the youths of many lands in the efforts to obtain knowledge; 13. “ But now I am grown old and the palsy weakeneth my body ; my days are numbered, and the end thereof draweth nigh; therefore, must T resign my place that a new King may rule over thee.” 14. And when he had said these things his faithful followers wept bitterly, for they loved him and profited by his teachings. 23