University of Arkansas Fayetteville - Razorback Yearbook (Fayetteville, AR)

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12. And they went out from the presence of the King and strove diligently for the space of a year. 13. But certain there were who waxed great in their own conceit and these fell by the wayside and the monster called Physics devoured them. CHAPTER II. 1. And after the great Feast of Commencement which is held in the sixth month, they departed every one to his father’s house where they abode for the space of four score and ten days. 2. When the end of this time was come, they that had been called Freshmen again drew nigh the halls of the palace. 3. And they stood in the King’s presence, saying, Hear us, Oh King, and grant us our petetion. 4. Thou knowest that for a weary season we have borne the name of Freshmen, and the word is become a hissing and a reproach to us. 5. Give us therefore a new name by which we may be called, and our reproach be taken away. 6. And when they had made an end of speaking the King lifted up his voice and cried, 7. Well have ye done and faithfully, O my children. Therefore ye shall no longer be called Freshmen but Sophomores. Go and sin no more. And it was so. 8. And they toiled mightily for a year. 9. Howbeit some were destroyed utterly by the foul dragon called Chemistry, who goeth about seeking whom he may devour. 10. Others there were who bought ponies of the Katins, that they might pursue Knowledge if haply they might find her. 11. B ut at the Feast of Examinations they fell in pitfalls cunningly digged for them, and the land called Campus knew them no more. CHAPTER III. 1. And the next year came again these certain ones to sojourn in the King’s house. 2. And they paid to the King as heretofore talents of gold and shekels of silver. 3. And behold they made merry and were exceeding glad, and they said one to the other, 4. Come, let us rejoice and take our ease, for are we not even those of whom it is said, 31

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Book of Chronicles Class of MDCCCCI CHAPTER I. OW it came to pass in the year one thousand eight hundred and ninety-seven in the siege of John the Good, in the third year of his reign, that a band of youths and maidens gathered themselves together in the King’s palace, even in the halls thereof, in the ninth month of the year. 2. Behold the palace of the King cannot be hid for it is set upon a high hill in the midst of a goodly land called the Campus, and the name of it is gone abroad throughout the length and breadth of the countries round about: 3. So that people of all nations resort to it to be instructed by the wise King and his counsel¬ lors, who in the tongue of that land are called Faculty. 4. And in the third year of King John’s reign certain young people came up together and stood before the King; 5. And the King’s scribe read in the Book of Catalogue and gave these certain ones a name. 6. And he cried with a loud voice, saying, These shall be called no more by their old name, but they shall be called by a new name, even the name of Freshmen. 7. For the space of one year shall they be called by this name, yea, and longer shall some be called by it; for thus it is written in the scroll. 8. Then the King spake to them (and his voice was as one having authority), saying, Oh, ye Freshmen, go forth and learn, for though ye know it not, there remaineth much that ye wot not of. 9. And the} ' marveled greatly at this saying. 10. Furthermore he charged them, saying, men and maidens, let your communications be yea, yea , and nay , nay. 11. For whatsoever is more than this breaketh the fiftieth commandment and bringeth judgment upon the offender. 30

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5. Lo, these are they who have come up out of great tribulation and their name shall be called Juniors. 6. And naught troubled them and the country was in quietness. CHAPTER. IV. 1. And yet again another year came these to the King, and now they were become Elders in his house. 2. And they were known among men as Seniors. 3. And that year they were vexed and oppressed, so that they were sore distressed, by four beasts with horns. 4. And their names are these: 5. The first is called Sociology, and he devoured gladly rich men’s sons so that it is easier for them to go through the eye of a needle than to escape him. 6. The second is called Geology, and he liveth upon dry rocks, yea upon the stones of the earth doth he feed. 7. And the other two are they not named Ethics and Logic? 8. And they are fearsome creatures, and no man knoweth on what they prey, yet some there be who tell that they prey upon the mind. 9. Now some of the Elders escaped and fled by these mighty beasts. 10. But a few there were of vain and light persons who were devoured alive in a place of outer darkness amid weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. 11. And the Assembly called Doubtful saw to it, and it was so. 12. It come to pass that among themselves these Elders chose Hervy of the house of Ross to rule over them. 13. And they straightway heeded not his voice, but got them up and did each as he listed. 14. And the damsel Mary, whose surname is Smith, did prophesy for them, but they placed no faith in her sayings though her countenance shone. 15. And Elmer of the tribe of Knott was the Keeper of the script, and he toiled diligently day and night gathering it together. 16. And Edward of the house of Howell, the same is he who writ down these Chronicles lest peradventure men should not hear tell of these happenings. 17. And others there were who banded themselves together and went out as champions on a terrible place called Gridiron and defied the Philistines. 32