University of Alabama School of Dentistry - Dentala Yearbook (Birmingham, AL)

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'TIS BUT A DREAM Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over dozens of outside readings of forgotten lore, I felt my heavy eyelids closing 'twas not long ere I was dozing, Then I dreamt and what a dream!! 'Twill haunt me evermore. I dreamed I died and went to heaven, and met St. Peter at the gate. I thought he'd let me enter, but sorry to relate. He asked me where I hailed from, I said from dental school. He cried, ALAS, then kicked my-and said, You poor, poor fool. Up here you are unwelcome, away, get from my sight. Hell was made for wrecks like you, wrent with such a plight. I did as Pete directed, the iourney down was fast. The devil seemed delighted to see me there at last. He screeched I'm sorry, fellow, but now you get the works. Here's special treatment for Alabama Dental Jerks. With a giant claw he seized me, that hand closed like a clam, and then I saw in his other hand- he held a rubber dam. Oh No, I shrieked, please spare me, don't place that thing on me. But the dam came ever closer, and the devil roared with glee. He turned to his assistant, and said, Go to it, Art, p after a few thousand roentgens, I thought I was coming apart. Another assistant danced with ioy as the devil did a polka. He then shook his buddy's hand and said, Nice work, Joe Volker. Next, he pushed me down a hallway 'n I fell into a chair, I heard a voice ring so clear, Jerome, another victim's here Then a wire haired man approached me, I knew he was a wicked schemer, In his left hand was a ruler-in his right a bloody reamer. He sneaked around behind me and gave a mighty thrust, then a half turn followed neatly and I felt the reamer bust!! He listened to my shrieks of pain as if they were a song. Get'yer summer clothes, my boy, you're gonna be here real long. What happened next was terrible, my blood, it turned to wine, I had a horrible experience unlike any other kind. An Englishman approached me-his face, it wore a grin, He slashed my mouth from ear to ear and then he started in. He ripped and tore my gums to shreds with his currettes and his scalers. Using a thrust as true and mighty as those of a whaler. Then in a dimly lighted chamber, thick with sulfur fumes and smoke, You couldn't see your hand before you, and the gases made you choke. A great surprise awaited me, for I met my 37 classmates there. Half were plugging gold foils on the other half strapped in chairs. There was Gurwitch, Gordon, Gunthorpe-and around them stood all the rest, these poor devils were receiving their severest test. For no rubber dams were permitted and the fields were good and wet, The dam first piece would never stick and what was funnier yet- Although they didn't know it, The devil gave non-cohesive gold, no burners were available, and the gold was awful cold.

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SCIENC DEPARTMENT OF PATHOLOGY eated: Sidney Kent, Associate Professor, Robert Mowry, Associate Professor, Albert E. asey, Professor, J. F. A. McManus, Profes- or and Chairman of Department, Fred C. D. ollier, Professor of Surgical Pathology, Beu- lah Hathaway, Associate Professor, Charles Lupton, Associate Professor. tanding: Stavros Meimaridis, Resident, Biong oo Lee, Resident, Gilard Wideman, Resi- dent, Edmund A. Dowling, Assistant Profes- sor, Stanley Kurtz, Fellow, Charles O. Hatha- ay,,Resident Associate, Leonard Robinson, Professor of Dental Pathology. DEPARTMENT OF PHARMACOLOGY obert S. Teague, Professor and Chairman of epartment, Samuel B. Barker, Professor. DEPARTMENT OF PHYSIOLOGY ack D. Emerson, Assistant Professor, John . Bruhn, Professor and Chairman, True W. obinson, Associate Professor, Leon . chneyer, Assistant Professor, Leroy L. 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There was a mound beside each chair of pelIeTs which wouldn'T sTay in, The cards were sfacked, The dice were loaded, Those poor guys couIdn'T win. BuT even Those wiTh skilled Technique and a Touch boTh sure and quick, A sTudenT here, a sTudenT There would occasionally make a piece sTick. And when This happened, a guy named Hammons wiTh an expression of a sphinx would pull iT out and laugh like hell, and loudly shouT, IT STINKS. Then in a liTTle corner, I saw a friendly feller, as besT as I could Tell, They seemed To call him Keller. Busy as a bee he worked, puTTing us in a fix, cause all he did all day long was gum up our silicaTe mix. For years he'd make you sTand There holding a IiTTle band, and when you Thought you'd chance To move, iT'd fall ouT in your hand. Then I looked behind a curTain and in a cIuTTered piT, I saw whaT once was a woman-her name was also PiTTs. She was in charge of records, but wasn'T allowed any files, and in her desperaTion, she seemed To have gone wild . . . A raucous sound assailed my ears, like a bull frog groaning, I didn'T have To Turn around To recognize This moaning. JusT one man upon This earTh could make ThaT sound of hackin', I knew wiThouT a single doubT, ThaT iT musT be our McCracken. And Then I spoTTed Mrs. SmiTh, her punishmenT was iusT, she had To fix each insTrumenT ThaT all my cohorTs bursT. And if They were all laid end To end, and I'm noT Trying To be wiTTy I swear They'd reach all The way from here To Kansas CiTy. Now The clouds of smoke grew Thicker and my head whirled round and round and I found myself awakening wiTh my feeT on solid ground. IT was six-ThirTy in The morning, and I had dreamed The whole niqhT Through, so I washed and shaved and brushed my TeeTh and hurried off To school. In closing IeT me say, DEAR docTors, ThaT This is all in iesT- We like To poke our IiTTIe jokes, and geT sTeam off our chesTs.