United States Military Academy West Point - Howitzer Yearbook (West Point, NY)

 - Class of 1905

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United States Military Academy West Point - Howitzer Yearbook (West Point, NY) online yearbook collection, 1905 Edition, Cover
Cover



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Text from Pages 1 - 352 of the 1905 volume:

THL'MOWITZER BEING THEBOOK OFTHE CLASS °! 1905 Vfl IT EDSTATESMI LITARYACADEM Y Edited by the 1905 Howitzer Board Press of The K. A. Bassettk Company S firing field, Massachusetts€o tl)c cmovv of professor H rigl)t Prescott €ti(jerton €l)(0 "l5oof? 10 iDrDtcatrD br tl)C £orp0 of £ i ct0FOR many years prior to 1896 the Howitzer was a small pamphlet of jokes, printed by the West Point Press and read as an introduction to the Hundredth Night Entertain ment. The graduating class of 1896, however, realizing the desirability of a corps year-book, published the Howitzer for the first time as an annual distinct from the Hundredth Night production. For this reason the volume of 1 896 has been considered as Volume I in establishing the serial number of the present book. In 1899 publication was prevented by the Spanish-American War, and again interrupted in 1901 as a result of the destruction of class organizations after the hazing investigation. Dismantled, abandoned, and green with age,the Howitzer was next searched out, cleaned, polished, mounted, and manned by the Class of 1904. To those men who, in spite of obstacles and opposition, carried through to successful issue the Howitzer of 1904, we of 1905 would now express our gratitude. Their success has made the way much easier for those who follow. The Board of Editors extend sincere thanks to those in the other classes and those without the Corps who have helped in the preparation of the Howitzer. As to the work of the class itself, 9IO The H O VV I T Z E R let it here he recorded that this book is essentially a monument, however unworthy, to the loyalty of the Class of 1905. In reducing to permanent form the recollections of many and varied sentiments and experiences, 1 905 is but contributing its share to the long record of the life of the Corps. It is fitting that we should here express our sympathy with those admirable efforts that are being made to complete that record. Under the care of Professor Larned the memorials of the Association of Graduates are being preserved. In the Library Doctor Holden is collecting books, papers and other information relating to the history of the Academy, and is chronicling contemporaneously every event of interest to the Corps. That this book may do its part in perpetuating these sacred recollections, that it may help to preserve completely the memories dearest to our class — this is the hope of those who present the H OWItzer of the Class of 1905.Dedication....................... Frontispiece—“Fire" Editor’s Preface .... Greeting......................... Board of Visitors .... Military Staff .... Academic Board Academic Departments . Battalion Organization Colonel Wright Prescott Kdgf.rton The Classes .... Poem—“To the Spirit of the Hudson" Nineteen Hundred and Five The Sad Stories of our Lives Class History Class Prophecy . Sharpshooters and Marksmen Howitzer Board Nineteen Hundred and Six Class Roll Class History Nineteen Hundred and Seven Class Roll . Class History Nineteen Hundred and Fight Class Roll Class History Clubs and Organizations V. M. C. A. Dialectic Society Fraternities B. A’s. PAGE 7 . 8 9 3 14 • '5 16 '7 36. 37 3» . 4' . 42 • 43 • 46 85 94 99 100 103 104 106 111 112 ”5 125 126 3° '37 '38 130 140 142The H O W I T Z E R I 2 Clubs and Organizations—continued page Pedestrian Club ........ 143 Spoonoids Club ......... 144 Knockers .......... 145 Walruses .......... 146 Astronomers Royal ......... 147 Athletic Trophies................. ... 148 Athletics......................... . . 149 Athletic Councils ...... . . 150 Football ..... . . . 151 Baseball ....... ... 165 Fencing ....... ... 173 Outdoor Meet ........ . 179 Field Records ...... . . 182 Indoor Meet ......... 184 Basketball . ... .186 Hockey . . 188 Tennis . . ....... 190 Polo.............................. . 192 Wearers of the “A ’ .... . . 193 Summer Camps . . .... . . 195 Camp Reilly . . . . . 196 Camp Forse ....... . . 203 Oscawana . .... ... 208 Tuxedo . . . . .... 213 Fort Totten . . .... 218 Little Journeys . . 224 Hops.................................... 229 Hundredth Nighi .... . . . 233 Slum................................ . 239 Index to Slum ... . . . . 299 Army Blue . . ..... 300 Advertisements . . . .... 301 Index to Advertisements..................302JUNK. 1904 1 2 4 5 6 7 ppointrb bp tbr JJrroHjrnt of tbr (jlnitrto tatre GENERAL JAMES R. CARNAHAN Indianapolis, Indiana PROFESSOR BREWSTER O. HIGI.EY (Secretary) Athena. Oh» » GENERAL A. P. WOZENCRAPT HON. A. G. WBISSKRT Dallas. Texas Milwaukee, Wisconsin GENERAL JOHN M. WILSON (President) I .S.Army mired MR. HENRY VAN KLEECK COLONEL ALLAN C. BAKEWELL Washington, D. C. Denver. Colorado New York City S 9 Sppomtfb bp the jjrrottornt - pro trmoorn of tbr rnatr ION. FRANCIS K. WARREN Cheyenne, Wyoming ION. HERNANDO I). MONEY (Vice-President) Carrollton. Mississippi to 11 t: appoints bp ibr praferr HON. THADDEUS M. MAHON HON. GEORGE W. PRINCE HON. ROBERT F. BROUSSARD of tbr honor of Urprrorntatioro Cbambersburg, Pennsylvania Galesburg, Illinois New Iberia. Louisiana «4S'upertntcntotnt BRIGADIER GENERAL ALBERT L. MILLS. Cadet. V. S. M. A.. 1874-187.,; appointed from Ncm Jersey; graduated 37; ad Lieutenant, 1st Cavalry, 1879-1891; Captain, A. A.G., U.S. V., 1898; Major, A. A. G., U. S. V., 1899; Lieutenant Colonel, 44th U. S. Infantry, 1899;Captain. 1 t Cavalry. 1899; Superintendent, 17. S. M. A., 1S9X; Brigadier General, 1904. S'taff CAPTAIN FRANK W. CC K, Artillery Corps. Clans 92; graduated 8; Adjutant of the Military Academy and Pont Recruiting Officer. MAJOR JOHN M. CARSON, Jr.,Quartermaster. Class '85; graduated 14; Quartermaster of the Military Academy and of the Post Disbursing Officer. CAPTAIN LOUIS M. NUTTMAN, 9th Infantry. Class 95; graduated 31; Commissary and in Charge of Post Exchange. CAPTAIN THOMAS FRANKLIN, Commissary. Treasurer of the Military Academy, Quartermaster and Commissary of Cadets. FIRST LIEUTENANT ROBERT C. FOV, i t Cavalry. Class '99; graduated 62; Assistant to Quartermaster. LIEUTENANT COLONEL HARRY O. PERLEY, Deputy Surgeon General V. S. Surgeon. FIRST LIEUTENANT THOMAS L. RHOADES, Assistant Surgeon, U. S. A. FIRST LIEUTENANT GEORGE M. EKWURZF.L, Assistant Surgeon, U. S. A. FIRST LIEUTENANT JAMES NV. VAN DUSEN, Assistant Surgeon, U. S. . Librarian DR. EDWIN S. HOLDEN, M.A..S« .I)., LL.D. Cadet, U. S. M. A., 1866-1870; appointed from Missouri; graduated 3; Director Lick Observatory, California, until 1898; Member of Board of Visitors, U. S. M. A., 1896; Knight Commander of Ernestine Order of Saxony, 1S94; Decoration of the Order of Bolivar of Venezuela. 1X96; Knight of the Royal Order of the Danebrog of Denmark, 1896; Member of the American Philosophical Society, 1897; Author of many scientific and other writings; Editor "f Supplement to General CullunTs Register of Graduates, U. S. M. A., 1S90-1900: Address, Century Club, New York City. Chaplain REV. HERBERT SHIPMAN. Appointed 1896; reappointed 1900; reappointed 1904. 5COL. WOOD COL. OUPLtr LT. COL. ntototn LT.CCL.CCADON LT. COL. tCMOLi MAJ. KUHN Lt.COL.TBCAT MA.1 Ll SAC CArT.JtltVCY BBB 1 - DEPARTMENTS - — — '■■HI iJIWHi iri .iMW ii ifll I in- JL»-— _.j . . 2 t 1department «= • r TAC L TICS Commanftant of Caucus LIEUTENANT COLONEL CHARLES G. TREAT, Artillery Corps. Cadet. U. S. M. A.. 1878-1882; appointed from Wisconsin; graduated 13; Captain and Major, A. A. G., U. S. V., 1899; Captain Artillery Corps, 1899; Commandant of Cadets, U. S. M. A., 1901. Senior notructoro CAPTAIN M EKCH B. STEWART, 8th Infantry. Class ’96; graduated 47; Srnior Instructor of Infantry Tactics. CAPTAIN ALBERT J. ROWLEY, Artillery Corps. Class 97; graduated 13; Senior Instructor of Artillery Tactics. CAPTAIN GODFREY H. MACDONALD, tst Cavalry. Class ‘83; graduated 22; Senior Instructor of Cavalry Tactics. Sfnotructorc CAPTAIN FRANCIS C. MARSHALL, 15th Cavalry. Class 90; graduated 19. CAPTAIN LINCOLN C. ANDREWS, 15th Cavalry. Cla»» 93; graduated 13. CAPTAIN HENRY L. NEWBOLD, Artillery Corps. Class 98: graduated 23. CAPTAIN ROBERT C. DAVIS, 17th Infantry. Class 98; graduated 36. CAPTAIN IRA C. WELBORN. 9th Infantry. Class 98; graduated 39. CAPTAIN CHARLES W. EXTON, 20th Infantry. Class ‘98; graduated 44. FIRST LIEUTENANT HERMAN J. KOEHLER. U. S. Army. Master of the Sword. Instructor of Military Gymnastics and Physical Culture. FIRST LIEUTENANT HERMAN GLADE, 6th Infantrv. Class 00; graduated 31.The H C) W I T Z E R 1 9 WHY? NVhy doe hr always rule that horse. Called Lindsay, old and slow ? Why does he thrust his legs way out, And at the trot, bounce »o? Why does he shout out “Double time' ? (The inflection we all know!) Why does he do these funny things? Because fJod made him so! ONE OF JOHN'S. Hammond, J. S. (on being notified by the corporal as to the time at which his relief went on post): “Where shall I meet you, sir?” AWFULLY LOW. Capt. Akdrkws: “Now why do you shake that blanket before folding it, Mr. Minick?' Mi nick: “I don't know, sir.” Capt. A.: “Well, Mr. Minick, you are supposed to have slrpt in it, and you shake it to get the splinters out so they won't hurt the horse. THAT'S EASY. O. I), (to Plebe sentinel): “What is the order of advancement ?' Pmt: “Forward, march, sir.' THE HOME INSTINCT. Capt. A.: “Don't walk across the floor on tiptoe that way; it makes me think of home with the baby asleep. ’ MINUS THE RED TAPE. West Point, N. Y., June 30, 1904. I)» ah Mr. Srt Ri takv or War: I don’t know the proper military channels, but I thought I’d just write to you for some necessary information. I have been asked several times since I've been here who my predecessor is, and I thought you might be able to tell me. I would be ever so much obliged if you would. Very respectfully, Yours truly, °"S O01.ESKT Ellis, NcwC,d„. The Tac, the most short of Dept ., In the guardhouse has spacious ap’ts. But if I had my way. They all would, some day, Occupy 616-er-comp’ts.IJrofcccor LIEUTENANT COLONEL GUSTAV J. FIEBEGER. Cadet, U. S. M. A.. 1875-1X79; appointed from Ol io; graduated 5; additional 2d Lieutenant of Engineers, 1879; 2d Lieutenant, 1879-1882; 1st Lieutenant, 1882-1891; Captain, 1891; Professor of Civil and Military Engineering, U. S. M. A., 1896. Jooiotant jjrofrooor CAPTAIN JAMES P. JERVEY, Corps of Engineers. Class ’92; graduated 2. 3fn structoro CAPTAIN FREDERICK NV. ALTSTAETTER. Corps of Engineers. Class ’97; graduated 6. CAPTAIN JAMES A. WOODRUFF, Corps of Engineers. Class 99; graduated 1. FIRST LIEUTENANT HORTON W. STICKLE, Corps of Engineers. Class 99; graduated 3. FIRST LIEUTENANT LEWIS H. RAND, Corps of Engineers. Class 99; graduated 4. Department of practical ittilitarp Engineering, 0?ilirarp Signaling and Celrgrapljp ijneirarror CAPTAIN HENRY JERVEY, Corps of Engineers. Class '88; graduated 1. S'rnior Sociotant ‘jlnotruttor FIRST LIEUTENANT MICHAEL J. McDONOUGH, Corps of Engineers. Class'99; graduated 15.The H O W I T Z E R 2 I MOT LOW'S MATH. Bill: “This equation contains nine unknown quantities of which six must be known in order to solve the equation." “LOWE BAWLS.” Rkciting: “I am required to discuss the jib crane, the mast, and I B the guy.” Let A B “THEY” SCORE. Pot Graves: “Lieutenant, the problem wc had yesterday didn't tell us anything at all.” Lieut. A.: “Well, most of you retaliated.” (The third and fourth sections in Engineering, in place of the usual one and one-half hour recitation, have just been treated to a four-hour practice march, visiting the suspension bridge, library, bridge below Highland Falls, West Point Station, filter plant, and a large number of other places). Dunwoody (passing a scat): “Well, I think it is about time for me to be taking a permanent jet." NEW ENGINEERING WORK. Entitled “Notes on Poughkeepsie Rridge" by “Vassar” Bill. C.—mw cz JJrofrcoor COLONEL AND JUDGE ADVOCATE EDGAR S. DUDLEY. Cadet, U. S. M. A., 1866-1870; appointed from New York; graduated 15; Captain, Staff. 189 ; Lieutenant and Judge Advocate, U. S. V., 1898; Major and Judge Advocate, U. S. V., 1899; Professor of Law and History, U. S. M. A., 1901; Colonel and Judge Advocate, 1904. 300iot int Profcooor CAPTAIN JOHN K. MOORE, 15th Infantry. Class ’97; graduated 10. •Jnotructoro FIRST LIEUTENANT IRVIN L. HUNT, Infantry. Class 99; graduated 24. FIRST LIEUTENANT GEORGE S. SIMONDS, aid Infantry. Class 99; graduated 26. FIRST LIEUTENANT HALSEY E. YATES, 5th Infantry. Class 99; graduated 55. FIRST LIEUTENANT EDWIN G. DAVIS, Artillery Corps. Class 00; graduated 17. FIRST LIEUTENANT PRESSLEY K. BRICE, Artillery Corps. Class ’00; graduated 47. SECOND LIEUTENANT EDWARD CANFIELD, Jr., Artillery Corps. Class oi; graduated 18.The H () W ITZER BENNY TAKES THE FULL COUNT. Feii.d: “Captain, how would you distinguish a barbarian from a civilized man ?' CAPr. M.: “Well, if you were down on Flirtation and a drowning man in the river yelled for help and you didn't throw him a rope, you'd be a barbarian." Growly Please ! I Daly (reciting): “About this time two legions of Varus were cut up by the great and renowned military leadet •Herman the German’.” DEFINITION. “Government is what you might call the rudder of the ship of state.”—Siioat Pridgen . HE KNEW. Lieut. C.: “What did the Mussulman War cause, Mr. Merritt ?” Si.ew: “Much bloodshed, sir.” A LEGAL DISCUSSION. Bill Prosser: “Sav, Willie, here's a case for you—If C in throwing a stone at I) knocks a picket out of l)'s fence, can D pick it up in defense? Willie Miller: “Sure he can, that is if C has entered upon D’s land, in which case he can not be put out on a pick up.” FMQ TuDBINq lA ml as hall.ORD- NANCE GUN- NERY Jnstrnctor MAJOR ORMOND M. I.ISSAK. Cadet, U. S. M. A., 1878-1882; appointed from California; graduated 8; jd Lieutenant 4th Artillery, 1882; Assistant Professor of Mathematics, U. S. M. A., 1886; lit Lieutenant 4th Artillery, 1889; Transferred to Ordnance April 24. 18X9; Captain of Ordnance, 1898; Major of Ordnance, 1904; Instructor of Ordnance and Gunnery, U. S. M. A., 1904. Senior cctotant fnctructor CAPTAIN JENS BUGGE, 28th Infantry. Class ’95; graduated 4. ofiistant nstructoro SECOND LIEUTENANT WILLIAM I . ENNIS, Artillery Corps. Class '01; graduated 20. SECOND LIEUTENANT ARTHUR H. BRYANT, Artillery Corps. Class ot; graduated 22.25 The HOWITZER MAXED rr!! Little Joe: “Yes! That’s correct, Mr. Pridgen. Hut what’s the reason for all this?” Pridgen (after much thought): “Well, Capt., I guess it’s for some reason or another.” BALLISTICS. Test, (reciting): “In blasting, slow powder is used." Lieut. E.: “Yes, that's right, and why, Mr. Test?" Test: “Well, I suppose it’s to give the workmen a chance to get away." HARD ON MAGGIE. Beau Bkummell Ward (Reciting on next subject instead of hi own)—“Saw-dust is used to absorb nitro-glycerin in—" Jr.vs B—"Now, Mr. Ward, when you mention saw-dust you are treading on Mr. Maghec’s toes." A JJrofffioor LIEUTENANT COLONEL WILLIAM B. GORDON. Cadet, U. S. M. A., 1873-1877; applied from Pennsylvania; graduated 6; Captain Ordnance, 1891; Inventor U. S. 12-inch Mortar Carriage, Model 1896; Professor of Natural and Experimental Philosophy, U. S. M. A., 1901. 3o0i0tant jjiofrooor CAPTAIN PALMER E. PIERCE, 13th Infantry. Class '91; graduated 42. notructoro FIRST LIEUTENANT CHARLES M. WESSON, 8th Cavalry. Class oo; graduated 21. FIRST LIEUTENANT WILLIAM I. WESTERVELT, Artillery Corps. Class 00; graduated 16. SECOND LIEUTENANT WILLIAM S. BROWNING. Artillery Corps. Class oi; graduated 13.27 The H O W I T Z E R 32 TJCGftCtlD A PHILOSOPHICAL ROMANCE. A “fourtecn-ycar-old V M ar|»ir!" met and fell in love with a “newsboy” who sold his papers for two cents apiece and always Rave the correct change. (“Now, Mr. Kunzig, how many apples could he buy at 3 cents apiece?”) Shortly afterwards, against the wishes of their parents, they were happily married. Soon a baby boy brought joy to the hearts of this youthful couple. After serious consideration, in order to fit him for his future career, they decided to put him out to work with a pick and shovel. This was done as soon as possible, and when he reached the proper age an appointment to West Point was secured. Query: With the proper “physical conception" of the circumstances, where did this youthful precocity come out in Phil.? Prum.kn (reciting in Phil.): "1 111 required to discuss the following subject,but I’ve made a mistake in my deduction, causing me to forget that which I was required to discuss." “QUIEN ES?” 1 can juggle a piece of chalk And catch it on my nose; I can throw the ellipsoid up And drop it on my toe ; I can spin the gyroscope. Make tuning forks to sing, But when it comes to teaching Phil I can not do a thing.28 The HOWITZER }3rofc0sor COLONEL SAMUEL E. TILLMAN. Cadet, U. S. M. A., 1865-1869; appointed from Tennessee; graduated 3; 2d Lieutenant 4th Cavalry, 1860-1872; transferred to Engineers, 1872; 1st Lieutenant, 1872; Professor of Chemistry, Mineralogy and Geology, U. S. M. A., 1880. xUaictant jjiofrooor CAPTAIN HENRY JERVEY, Corps of Engineers. Class ’88; graduated 1. ijnotrurtoro CAPTAIN JOHN Me A. PALMER. 15th Infantry. Class 92; graduated 19. CAPTAIN PAUL It. MALONE, 27th Infantry. Class '94; graduated 17. CAPTAIN FRED H. GALLUP, Artillery Corps. Class 99; graduated 14. SECOND LIEUTENANT WILLIAM R. BETTISON, Artillery Corp . Class 01; graduated 36.The H OWITZE R 29 SE T TO MUSIC. (Allcgrrtti) “Here wc have a specimen of a highly vcsiculated nature deposited by turbulent waters, therefore it is what, Mr. Hawes?'" Hawks: “Talc—Capt." Caw. M.: “Not at all! Not at all! Calcareous tufa, Mr. Hawes. WHAT THEN? Caw. N. (after asking all the questions in the book): “Well, Mr. West, are you a mammal?' Willie (highly indignant): “No, sir!! I'm no mammal!” A REACTION. H a S+ Mr A + B, U—Slum. HOW ABOUT CURLING IRONS ? “There are three kinds of irons Wrought Iron, Cast lion and Steel.” rlla fel }._ 11 p 2 I p Q D " III l III 1 11 comzold nr. bo-o-o-k.JJrofroeor COLONEI. CHARLES W. LARNED. Cadet, U. S. M. A., 1866-1870; appointed from New York; graduated 28; id Lieutenant 3d Cavalry, June to October, 1870; transferred to 7th Cavalry; 2d Lieutenant 7th Cavalry, 18701876; i»t Lieutenant, 1876; Professor of Drawing, U. S. M. A., 1876. 3ooiofanr JJrofrooor CAPTAIN CHARLES B. HAGADORN, 23d Infantry. Class 89; graduated 25. •jnotrurtore CAPTAIN CHARLES II. PAINE, 29th Infantry. Class 95; graduated 10. CAPTAIN HAROLD HAMMOND, 23d Infantry. Class 98; graduated 34. CAPTAIN CHAUNCEY B. HUMPHREY, aid Infantry. Class 98; graduated 51. FIRST LIEUTENANT GEORGE B. COMLY, 3d Cavalry. Claw 00; graduated 51.The H O W I T Z E R TAKE IT AWAY EARLY. (Ah Jublc lakes up a drawing to be approved): “Oh! take it away, take it away before I sec the name on it.” A LINE DRAWING. Calm at sea, or noon-dav on the desert. “A little more focus! Phinan.” AWFUL. Col. L. (after describing the construction of Grant Hall): “They succeeded in making a pretty good mess of it, after all.” D RAW I N G COLOR SERGEANT WiLt.tr. Miller: “Say,Grubbs, your name ought to be Venus dc Milo instead of just plain Venus.” “The Old Man”: “Why?" Miller: “Well, when you are out at parade, you haven't any arms.”IJrofcooor LIEUTENANT COLONEL CHARLES P. ECHOLS. Cadet, U. S. M. A., 1887-1891; appointed from Alabama; graduated 3; Instructor of Mathematics, U. S. M. A., 1894; Assistant Professor of Mathematics, U. S. M. A., 1897; Associate Professor of Mathematics, U. S. M. A., 1898; Professor of Mathematics, U. S. M. A., 1904. 30siotant )Jrofro0or CAPTAIN GEOROE BLAKELY, Artillery Corps. Class ’92; graduated 4. 3fnotructor0 CAPTAIN WILLIAM R. SMITH, Artillery Corps. Class 92; graduated 10. CAPTAIN MORTIMER O. BIGELOW, 8th Cavalry. Class 95; graduated 18. CAPTAIN CLAUDE H. MILLER, 24th Infantry. Class ’97; graduated 23. CAPTAIN LYTLE BROWN, Corps of Engineers. Class '98; graduated 4. FIRST LIEUTENANT LEON B. KROMER, nth Cavalry. Class 99; graduated to. FIRST LIEUTENANT FRANK O. WHITLOCK. 14th Cavalry. Class oo; graduated 11. FIRST LIEUTENANT WILLIS V. MORRIS. 6th Cavalry. Class 00; graduated 14. FIRST LIEUTENANT ARCHIBALD H. SUNDERLAND, Artillery Corps. Class '00; graduated 24. SECOND LIEUTENANT FRANCIS W. CLARK, Artillery Corps. Class 01; graduated 16. SECOND LIEUTENANT GUY E. CARLETON, Artillery Corps. Class t; graduated 27. SECOND LIEUTENANT WADE H. CARPENTER. Artillery Corps. Class '02; graduated 9.The H O W I T Z E R S1 ARTA. I'-mt. Cor. (a» Red Stolbrand gracefully faint away into the chalk box)] •‘There! I've scared him to death." DEC. 12, '04. Editor (fcorrlr prrutii for a grind): “ Pritchett, don't you know any math grind ? ’ P hitch nr: “No, only it been a---------of a grind for the last three weeks." HEARD IN THE YEARLING MATH SECTION. "Am questionsi Page 100-1-2-5-4-5," etc. "Capt., I’d—------—" “No! too late! too late' Close your books! Mr. Merritt, 1st board," etc. l Aif 1 Hi.nkv: “And now after due deliberation and careful consideration I have decided that ihit is the brilliant point.COLONEL EDWARD E. WOOD. Cadet, U. S. M. A.. 1866-1870; appointed from Pennsylvania; graduated 6; 2d Lieutenant, 8th Cavalry, 1870-1873; ist Lieutenant, 1873-1886; Captain, 1X86; Professor of Modern Languages, U. S. M. A., 1802. ooonatr jjrofrooor CAPTAIN WILLIAM KELLY, Ja.. 9th Cavalry-. Class 96; graduated 57. Aooiotant jjiofroooro CAPTAIN THOMAS G. HANSON, 19th Infantry. Class '87; graduated 36; .Assistant Professor of the Spanish Language. CAPTAIN WILLIAM O. JOHNSON, 16th Infantry. Class ‘90; graduated f ; Assistant Profe -or of the French Language. ■Jnotructoro CAPTAIN ARTHUR THAYER. 3d Cavalry. Class X6; graduated 7. CAPTAIN WILLIAM NEWMAN, tst Infantry. Class '9a; graduated 38. CAPTAIN JOSEPH WHEELER, Artillery Corp . Graduated 13. CAPTAIN AMERICUS MITCHELL, 5th Infantry. Class 95; graduated 22. CAPTAIN HARVEY MILLER. 13th Infantry. Class 98; graduated 26. FIRST LIEUTENANT CHARLES F. MARTIN, jth Cavalry. Class 00; graduated 12. FIRST LIEUTENANT ROBERT E. WOOD, 3d Cavalry. Class 00; graduated 13. FIRST LIEUTENANT CHARLES R. LAWSON, Artillery Corps. Class 00; graduated 6. SECOND LIEUTENANT FRANK P. LAHM. 6th Cavalry. Class oi; graduated 23. SECOND LIEUTENANT STEPHEN ABBOT, Artillery Corps. Class oa; graduated it,. Ctttilian 'Jtioirtictors . MARIN I-A MESLEE. French. JOSE M. ASENSIS. Spanish. T. QUEREDO. Spanish.-RETURN TO- Cait. K.: “What's a good thing to put on the envelope besides the address, Mr. Beavers?” Br.Avr.Rs: “A postage stamp, sir." Heard in Yearling B. S. (as a note to accompany a bunch of flowers): Dear Miss --------: I.ast night as I sat and dreamed of you, the fairy of flowers came and laid her finger tips upon my brow and raid, “I.ook!” and lo! beside me were iny thoughts of you, these violet . May they bear to you from me a tender message of my love. I kiss each petal, for perchance your hand may touch it. I lay my heart in the midst of them for you to do with as you will. Yours, Harry T. Herring. PROVERB. Yr.ARi.iSG (translating French): "And er-cr-shc-er-er." Instructor: “Yes, ye . To err is human, but go on." TRANSLATIONS. Ciiii.ton (in French): "Leopold, Due d’Autricbe—the leopard, the duck, and the ostrich.” Christy: “Vingt-cing tableaux et quel tableaux!—Twenty-five blackboards and what blackboards!"- Kean, Adjutant Titus, Quartermaster m JUNE 30. 1804 Wain weight. Sergeant Major GrekM, J. A., Quartermaster Sergeant A. B. C. Captains Hammond, T. W. Graves Daly, C. D. Lieutenants Lewis, R. H. Merchant Waugh Magruder Williams, B. H. L. Jones, De W First Sergeants Rii.ev Humphreys, F. E. Morrow Co. Q. M. Sergeants Torney Mathews Smith, E. D. Sergeants Gatewood Jones, R. A. Minick Quekemkykr Sturgill Parker, C. Chatter Schultz Manchester Wilhelm Johnson, W. A. Ardery Corporals Rogers, Nt. P. Watkins Park, R. Harris, C. T. Wyman Alexander, Rice, C. H. Wagner Santsciii Watson, H. L. Marley Morrissey Wilder Coles, T. L. Larnt.d D. E. F. Captains McKay Gardiner, J. B. Hantord Lieutenants Grukiis Bunn Lund Do.NAVfN, C. S. Dallam Emerson First Sergeants Westover Gillespie, A. G. Wildrick Co. Q. M. Sergeants Dickman Lane, W. E. Lewis, C. A. Sergeants Hoyle McFarland MacMillan Pratt Daley, F.. I.. Bradshaw Bartlett, G. G. White, R. C. Zimmerman Pelot De Armond Finch Corporals Thorpe Cruse Bane, T. H. O’Connor Hayden Holaiiird Sultan Eastman, C. L. Casti e Selihe Geary, W. D. Murray Morrison, W. E. Staver Far wellAMI JANUARY 1, 1005 Kras, Adjutant Rogers, G. R., Quartermaster A. Wainwright, Sergeant Major Grkcs, J. A., Quartermaster Sergeant B. C. Captains Hammond, T. W. Graves Daly, C. D. M Lieutenants Lyman (act. Q. M.) Winston Osborne Lr.wis, R. H. Merchant Jones, 1)c W. C. Doe Williams, B. H. L. Corbin First Sergeants Riley, J. W. Humphreys, F. E. Torney Co. Q. M. Sergeants Jones, R. A. Mathews Smith, E. I). Sergeants Gatewood Sturgill Mi.nick Quekemeyer Schultz, H. D. Parker, C. Chaffee Johnson Manchester Wilhelm Koiiinson Bartlett, G. G. Corporals Harris, C. T. Watkins O'Connor Rogers, N. P. Wyman Alexander, R. G. Watson, H. L. Wagner Santsciii Maisii Coles, T. L. Morrissey Larnfd Bartlett, G. Craiton 1). E. F. Captains Barber McKay Hanford Lieutenants Gardiner, J. B. Burnt Titus MAORUDER Tipton Lund Hodges, J. N. Ramsey Emerson First Sergeants Westover Gillespie, A. G. Wii.drick Co. Q. Mm Sergeants Hickman Lane, W. E. Lewis, C. A. Sergeants Hoyle McFarland MacMillan Pratt White Bradshaw Pelot Hr. Armond Daley, E. L. Ardery Finch Zimmerman Corporals Thorpe Cruse Bane, T. H. Rice, C. H. Hayden Hot-AIURD Castle Eastman, C. L. Murray Marlet Geary, W. D. Farwell Morrison, W. E. Taylor PfeilThe HOWITZER 38 Colonel IDrigljt Prescott Ctigcrton 11EN Colonel Wright Prescott Edger-ton died on the 24th of last June the Army and the Corps suffered a loss which has not been lessened by the succeeding months. It is because every one of us knew him and loved him and still sorrows for him that the Corps dedicates this volume as a heart-felt though unneeded memorial. What Colonel Kdgerton’s life was before he influenced us so deeply may be learned from the following brief account. He was graduated from the Academy and promoted to a 2nd Lieutenant in the 2nd Artillery on June 17, 1874. During the next eight years he served on garrison duty at ten different stations, located in six states, including terms of duty at the Artillery School at Fort Monroe and the Engineering School of Application at Willetts Point. He became a 1st Lieutenant of Artillery in 1881. From August, 1882, to August, 1887, he was Assistant Professor of Mathematics at the Academy. Between this latter dare and January, 1889, he again did garrison duty in the states of Louisiana and New York and served as Acting Quartermaster at Hot Springs, Arkansas. From January, 1889, to July, 1893, he was a secondThe H () W I T Z E R 39 time on dutv as Assistant Professor of Mathematics. During the Spanish War, as soon as his Academic duties were completed in |une, he succeeded by persistent effort in being assigned to duty in connection with the transportation of troops from Port Tampa to Cuba. He was later engaged in the Porto Rican campaign, being attached to the Headquarters of the Major General Commanding the Army of the United States. His brother officers and his associates on the Academic Board have testified that he was an accomplished officer, an inspiring teacher, loyal to his superiors and considerate ot his subordinates, a type of man and soldier of which the Military Academy is justly It was mainly as professor of Mathematics that the present Corps knew Colonel Kdgerton. Though it is the painful duty of this Department, owing to the extreme difficulty ot its subject and the rigorous requirements which this stern Academy mother exacts from us all, to report more men as deficient than all the other departments combined, every one felt that the utmost consideration would be shown him as long as Colonel Kdgerton was Professor. Indeed charity and compassion and that gentleness which is always the associate of true strength were among his strong qualities. That this man loved his fellow-man was apparent in all he did. His kindness, his geniality was so manifest that it was often remarked in the Corps that it was a pleasure to pass and salute Colonel Kdgerton. In addition to his zeal in Academic matters, Colonel Kdgerton was foremost in encouraging the athletic sports' at West Point.4o The H O W I T E R Lor eight years he was President of the Athletic Association, and to him much of our success in late years is due. During the last year of his life he knew that his death was a question of only a few months. Yet his cheerfulness never failed. Never did the consciousness of his approaching end cause him to obtrude his sorrow on his associates. His patient, heroic endurance held him to his post until his failing powers gave way—an example of modest and uncomplaining heroism. Loyal to the best in himself and in those around him, with a courage and chivalry of a fine high type, he resembled Sir Philip Sydney and exemplified in his life that perfect soldier’s definition of a gentleman—“High erected thoughts seated in a heart of courtesy.” wJ42 The H O W I T Z E R Co tljc §s ptrit of tl)i $ut)0on () slowly rolling, ever rolling Hudson, Whose spirit ever bides upon thy shore, A guardian o’er the int’rests on the hilltops, A silent sentry watching o’er the Corps. Within thy deepest depths thou’st held the welfare Of all the others who have gone before, Whose noble deeds were written with their lifeblood Within the sacred archives of the Corps. Oh! spread o’er us thy wand of careful guidance And keep us true to duty ’mid the roar Of battle strife. And let us e’er revere, With deepest love, the memory of the Corps.i loo—oo— Ray—Ray, I loo—oo—Ray—Ray, U. S. M. A. hop ittanngcrc Otho Vaughn Kean Wii.ijam Henry Dodds, Jr. Douglas Imkie McKay Charles Smith Cakfery Norman Foster Ramsey Owen Stedman Albright Df. Witt Clinton Tucker Grubbs Alvin Barton Barber Berkeley Thorne Merchant Athletic Ucprcorntatitic Charles Dudley Dalyc§ CS Q © © £ © © © © XS © (© © © © © © © ©© 0 Q) © © © CD CD ©CD _ d ®© © © © ® © ©© © © © %= © ®© ® (2) ©CD © o (D © © © © CD © © © © © © © 3 © © © © © (£ KEY TO CLASS 1 Tipton, A. C. 2 Early, C. C. 3 Hammond, T. W. 4 Williams B. H. L. 5 Ramsey, N. F. 6 Miller, W. C. 7 Graves, E. 8 Starkey, J. R. 9 Kunzig, L. A. to Davit, J. R. 11 Tompkins, H. U. 12 Mitchell, C. A. i j Hotz, J. G. 14 Cox bin, C. L. 15 Daly, C. I). 16 Hammond, J. S. 17 Miles, S. 18 Russell, O. A. 19 Magruder, G. L. B. 20 Doe, T. B, 21 Lyman, C. K. 22 Guilion, A. W. 23 Schoonmaker, L. P. 49 Albright O. S. 40 Bain, J. J. 106 Baird, F. H. 33 Bamford, C. E 59 Bankhead, C. C. 74 Barber, A. B. 61 Bartlett, L. R. 105 Barzynski, J. E. 62 Bates, R. D. 89 Bishop, A. T. 31 Broadhurst, H. H. 64 Bubb, J. P. 27 Burgin, H. T. 84 Caffery, C. S. 73 Carter, A. H. 86 Case, R. W. 14 Corbin, C. L. 46 Cummings, A. D. 80 Curley, J. F. 75 Dallam, W. A. 15 Daly, C. D. 10 Davis, J. R. 78 Dickey, J. H. 24 Stolbrand, C. J. 25 Osborne, T. D. 26 West, W. W. 27 Burgin, H. T. 28 Hodges, J. X. 29 Ward, B. 30 Kean, O. V. 31 Broadhurst, H. H. 32 Gardner, C. H. 33 Bamford, C. E. 34 Lund,J. 35 Scagravc, D. C. 36 Ehrnbeck, A. R. 37 Peterson, J. C, 38 Jones, De W. C. 39 Kichl, P. J. R. 40 Bain, J. J. 41 Endrcss, W. F. 42 Dusenbury, J. S. 43 Winston, P. H. 44 Klemm, K. D. 45 Lentz, B. KEY TO CLASS 87 Dillman, G. 101 Dodds, W. H. 20 Doe, T. B. 58 Donavin, C. S. 109 Dunford, R. A. 1 to Dunwoody, H. 42 Dusenbury, J. S. 2 Earlv, C. C. 71 Eddy, R. C. 36 Ehrnbeck, A. R. 41 Endress, W. F. 53 Feild, B. W. 66 Gardiner, J. Dc'B. W. 32 Gardner, C. H. 95 Gibson, A. 7 Graves, E. 96 Grubbs, De W. C. T. 22 Guilion, A. W. 67 Guthrie, S. H. 16 Hammond, J. $. 3 Hammond, T. W. 57 Hanford. E. C. PHOTOGRAPH Numerically Arranged 46 Cummings, A. D. 68 Walker, J. F. 90 Prosser, W. E. 47 Scott, C. L. 69 Manley, F. W. 91 Waugh, G. F. 48 Rutherford, A. 70 Pridgen, W. E. 92 Morrisson, R. Jr. 49 Albright, O. S. 71 Eddy, R. C. 93 Holderness, A. W. 50 Merchant, B. T. 72 Lane, A. W. 94 Moon, B. G. 51 Uphant, F. B. 73 Carter, A. H. 95 Gibson, A. 52 Mot low, F. W, 74 Barber, A. B. 96 Grubbs, De W. C. T. 53 Feild, B. W. 75 Dallam, W. A. 97 Reisinger, J. 54 Maddox, G. W 76 Titus, C. P. 98 Maghee, T. B. 55 Ridley, C. S. 77 Weeks, W. S. 99 McKinlay, I.. H. 56 Lewi , R. H. 78 Dickey, J. H. too O’Donnell, L. A. 57 Hanford, E. C. 79 Herring, H. T. 101 Dodds, W. H. 58 Donavin, C. S. 80 Curley, J. F. 102 I-owe, T. H. 59 Bankhead, C. C. 81 Wilbv, F. B. 103 Niles, E. W. 60 Hawes, W. H. Jr. 82 Thomas, R. S. 104 McKay, IX I. 61 Bartlett, I.. R. 83 Spaulding, T. M. 105 Barzvnski, J. E. 62 Bates, R. IX 84 Caffery, C. S. 106 Baird, F. H. 63 Merritt, W. E. 85 Talbot, R. Jr. 107 Sharp, H. 64 Bubb, J. P. 86 Case, R. W. 108 Horowitz, N. 65 Test, F. C. 87 Dillman, G. 109 Dunford, R. A. 66 Gardiner, J. I)e B. W. 88 Roemer, C. I to Dunwoody, H. 67 Guthrie, S. H. 89 Bishop, A. T. 111 Hensley, W. N. Jr. PHOTOGRAPH Alphabetically Arranged 60 Hawes, W. H. Jr. 104 McKay, IX I. 23 Schoonmaker,L. P. 111 Hensley, W. N. Jr. 99 McKinlay, I-. H. 47 Scott, C. I„. 79 Herring, H. T. 50 Merchant, B. T. 35 Seagrave, IX C. 28 Hodges, J. N. 63 Merritt, W. E. 107 Sharp, H. 93 Holdernos, A. W. 17 Miles, S. 83 Spaulding, T. M. 108 Horowitz. N. 6 Miller, W. C. 8 Starkey, J. R. 13 Hotz, J. G. 12 Mitchell, C. A. 24 StolbranJ, C. J. 38 Jones, De W. C. 94 Moon, B. G. 85 Talbot, R. Jr. 30 Kean, O. V. 92 Morrisson, R. Jr. 65 Test, F. C. 39 Kiehl, P. J. R. 52 Motlow, F. W. 82 Thomas, R. S. 44 Klemm. K. IX 103 Niles, E. W. 1 Tipton, A. C. 9 Kunzig, L. A. too O'Donnell, I- A. 76 Titus, C. P. 72 Lane, A. W. 25 Osborne, T. D. 11 Tompkins H. U. 45 Lentz, B. 37 Peterson, J. C. 51 Upham, F. B. 56 Lewis, R. H. 70 Pridgen, W. E. 68 Walker, J. F. 102 I-owe, T. H. 90 Prosser, W. E. 29 Ward, B. 34 Lund, J. 5 Ramsey, N. F. 91 Waugh, G. F. 21 Lyman, C. K. 97 Reisingcr, J. 77 Weeks, W. S. 54 Maddox, G. W. 55 Ridley, C. S. 26 West, W. W. 98 Maghee, T. B. 88 Roemer, C. 81 Wilby, F. B. 19 Magrudcr, G. L. B. 18 Russell, O. A. 4 Williams, B. H. I-. 69 Manley, F. 'V. 48 Rutherford, A. 43 Winston, P. H.Sofci i o S S V 1 oKEY TO CLASS 1 Tipton, A. C. 2 Early, C. C. 3 Hammond, T. W. 4 Williams B. H. L. 5 Ramsey, N. F. 6 Miller, W. C. 7 Graves, E. 8 Starkey, J. R. 9 Kunzig, L. A. to Davit, J. R. 11 Tompkins, H. U. 12 Mitchell, C. A. i j Hotz, J. G. 14 Cox bin, C. L. 15 Daly, C. I). 16 Hammond, J. S. 17 Miles, S. 18 Russell, O. A. 19 Magruder, G. L. B. 20 Doe, T. B, 21 Lyman, C. K. 22 Guilion, A. W. 23 Schoonmaker, L. P. 49 Albright O. S. 40 Bain, J. J. 106 Baird, F. H. 33 Bamford, C. E 59 Bankhead, C. C. 74 Barber, A. B. 61 Bartlett, L. R. 105 Barzynski, J. E. 62 Bates, R. D. 89 Bishop, A. T. 31 Broadhurst, H. H. 64 Bubb, J. P. 27 Burgin, H. T. 84 Caffery, C. S. 73 Carter, A. H. 86 Case, R. W. 14 Corbin, C. L. 46 Cummings, A. D. 80 Curley, J. F. 75 Dallam, W. A. 15 Daly, C. D. 10 Davis, J. R. 78 Dickey, J. H. 24 Stolbrand, C. J. 25 Osborne, T. D. 26 West, W. W. 27 Burgin, H. T. 28 Hodges, J. X. 29 Ward, B. 30 Kean, O. V. 31 Broadhurst, H. H. 32 Gardner, C. H. 33 Bamford, C. E. 34 Lund,J. 35 Scagravc, D. C. 36 Ehrnbeck, A. R. 37 Peterson, J. C, 38 Jones, De W. C. 39 Kichl, P. J. R. 40 Bain, J. J. 41 Endrcss, W. F. 42 Dusenbury, J. S. 43 Winston, P. H. 44 Klemm, K. D. 45 Lentz, B. KEY TO CLASS 87 Dillman, G. 101 Dodds, W. H. 20 Doe, T. B. 58 Donavin, C. S. 109 Dunford, R. A. 1 to Dunwoody, H. 42 Dusenbury, J. S. 2 Earlv, C. C. 71 Eddy, R. C. 36 Ehrnbeck, A. R. 41 Endress, W. F. 53 Feild, B. W. 66 Gardiner, J. Dc'B. W. 32 Gardner, C. H. 95 Gibson, A. 7 Graves, E. 96 Grubbs, De W. C. T. 22 Guilion, A. W. 67 Guthrie, S. H. 16 Hammond, J. $. 3 Hammond, T. W. 57 Hanford. E. C. PHOTOGRAPH Numerically Arranged 46 Cummings, A. D. 68 Walker, J. F. 90 Prosser, W. E. 47 Scott, C. L. 69 Manley, F. W. 91 Waugh, G. F. 48 Rutherford, A. 70 Pridgen, W. E. 92 Morrisson, R. Jr. 49 Albright, O. S. 71 Eddy, R. C. 93 Holderness, A. W. 50 Merchant, B. T. 72 Lane, A. W. 94 Moon, B. G. 51 Uphant, F. B. 73 Carter, A. H. 95 Gibson, A. 52 Mot low, F. W, 74 Barber, A. B. 96 Grubbs, De W. C. T. 53 Feild, B. W. 75 Dallam, W. A. 97 Reisinger, J. 54 Maddox, G. W 76 Titus, C. P. 98 Maghee, T. B. 55 Ridley, C. S. 77 Weeks, W. S. 99 McKinlay, I.. H. 56 Lewi , R. H. 78 Dickey, J. H. too O’Donnell, L. A. 57 Hanford, E. C. 79 Herring, H. T. 101 Dodds, W. H. 58 Donavin, C. S. 80 Curley, J. F. 102 I-owe, T. H. 59 Bankhead, C. C. 81 Wilbv, F. B. 103 Niles, E. W. 60 Hawes, W. H. Jr. 82 Thomas, R. S. 104 McKay, IX I. 61 Bartlett, I.. R. 83 Spaulding, T. M. 105 Barzvnski, J. E. 62 Bates, R. IX 84 Caffery, C. S. 106 Baird, F. H. 63 Merritt, W. E. 85 Talbot, R. Jr. 107 Sharp, H. 64 Bubb, J. P. 86 Case, R. W. 108 Horowitz, N. 65 Test, F. C. 87 Dillman, G. 109 Dunford, R. A. 66 Gardiner, J. I)e B. W. 88 Roemer, C. I to Dunwoody, H. 67 Guthrie, S. H. 89 Bishop, A. T. 111 Hensley, W. N. Jr. PHOTOGRAPH Alphabetically Arranged 60 Hawes, W. H. Jr. 104 McKay, IX I. 23 Schoonmaker,L. P. 111 Hensley, W. N. Jr. 99 McKinlay, I-. H. 47 Scott, C. I„. 79 Herring, H. T. 50 Merchant, B. T. 35 Seagrave, IX C. 28 Hodges, J. N. 63 Merritt, W. E. 107 Sharp, H. 93 Holdernos, A. W. 17 Miles, S. 83 Spaulding, T. M. 108 Horowitz. N. 6 Miller, W. C. 8 Starkey, J. R. 13 Hotz, J. G. 12 Mitchell, C. A. 24 StolbranJ, C. J. 38 Jones, De W. C. 94 Moon, B. G. 85 Talbot, R. Jr. 30 Kean, O. V. 92 Morrisson, R. Jr. 65 Test, F. C. 39 Kiehl, P. J. R. 52 Motlow, F. W. 82 Thomas, R. S. 44 Klemm. K. IX 103 Niles, E. W. 1 Tipton, A. C. 9 Kunzig, L. A. too O'Donnell, I- A. 76 Titus, C. P. 72 Lane, A. W. 25 Osborne, T. D. 11 Tompkins H. U. 45 Lentz, B. 37 Peterson, J. C. 51 Upham, F. B. 56 Lewis, R. H. 70 Pridgen, W. E. 68 Walker, J. F. 102 I-owe, T. H. 90 Prosser, W. E. 29 Ward, B. 34 Lund, J. 5 Ramsey, N. F. 91 Waugh, G. F. 21 Lyman, C. K. 97 Reisingcr, J. 77 Weeks, W. S. 54 Maddox, G. W. 55 Ridley, C. S. 26 West, W. W. 98 Maghee, T. B. 88 Roemer, C. 81 Wilby, F. B. 19 Magrudcr, G. L. B. 18 Russell, O. A. 4 Williams, B. H. I-. 69 Manley, F. 'V. 48 Rutherford, A. 43 Winston, P. H.®WR Owen Stedman Albright, “Maud,” “Fat,” “Handsome,” Memphis, Tenn. Hop Manager, ’03, ’04, ’05; Fug of War, '02, ’04; Baseball, ’02, oj, ’04; “A” in Baseball; Toastmaster Furlough Banquet; “A. B.” TT “There is no hair on the top of his head in the place where the wool Vs l% ought to grow,” but he hesitates to join Walker and “Venus” Grubbs in the “Association of Mutual Consolation.” Continually strives to find the exact pose most becoming to a fat man. He is personally responsible for every hop, and most of all delights in tripping the light fantastic, enveloped in a red sash. Lores nothing so much as a good old knotty problem in Ordnance. But his heart is with the mounted arm, for to him there is nothing so beautiful as a cavalry cape and he has already shown his preference. Jarvis Johnson Bain, “Dick,” Martinsville, Ind. TT This “Gentleman from Indiana," this animated fence rail which 'dL, looks as if it had not been properly split, holds down the job of nozzlcman in Chief Seagravc's fire department. Since his arrival at the Point, he has never been known to bugle, and has never been out of the first section in Math. If any one goat had to live on the tenths that escape him, that goat would soon be going through the East Sally Port. Last year he was senior chief of section of Nap Riley’s platoon, but last summer he attacked the hearts of the ladies by the hammock route, and graduation leave will show the results of his labors. Tried and trur, he will do anything in the world to help a goat through hi exams.The H C) VV I T Z E R 47 Fred Hendrickson Baird, “Widow,” “Corky,” Carlisle, Ohio. Aerg. Sgr. TT Hi carl)' lift , spent among the quiet village street of Podunk on the NVab (though he claim that he is from Cincinnati), ha not conduced to fit him for the “strenuosities” of West Point life. In camp last summer he was known to at least one of the T. I), as “the best guide in the battalion,” and is supposed to have attained to that position by reason of the cheerful moods in which lie was always to In found after returning from singing-school or a double-time drill in the rain. In the mornings he is always going to resign and go back to the farm, but after breakfast his time is spent until dinner figuring how much it will cost him to graduate; from then till supper, how much it will cost him to marry; and from supper till taps, in the contemplation of pink, yellow and blue letters, and in recounting to his industrious ?) wife tales of his early affaires tf amour and of his swashbuckler days when even Bill Devery dared not run him in. Charles Kxtqn Bam for I), “ Bumford,” Trenton, N. J. Sgt., “B. A.,” Marksman. TT This man will as a rule refrain from telling you of the wooden things he has done, of his plans for graduation leave, and his hopes for years to come. But it is surmised that he has indulged in no spooning at West Point, because once upon a time he was crossed in love and since then has been a woman-hater. He will live and die a “bach,” thereby respecting the suggestion of his superiors and saving his pay for a rainy day. He was once a “make,’ but the T. I), subsequently found the timber too knotty—though it broke hi heart to part with “'em.” Charles Carr Bankhead, “Greaser,” “Lunkic,” Paris, Texas. “A. B." TT Has absolute faith and confidence in the rest cure, has never heard taps and never wants to. But from the instant this sleeping beauty does awake till twilight calls him to his cradle, he lives to the fullest extent the life of an optimist. Has never known a moment of worry, and even the astronomy examination left untarnished the “smile that won’t come off.” Coming from the sunny shores of the gulf he does love the feel of sand beneath his feet, and can do a “clog” on a match box or a golf green.48 The H C) W I T Z E R Ai.vin Barton Barber, “Sister Mary '“A. B. ' Port-land. Ore. Corp., Sgr., Co. ( . M. Sgt., Actg. Sgt. Major, Capt.; Hop Manager, ’03, ’04, ’05; Fencing Team, ’04, 05; Capt. ’05; .Marksman; Tield Meet, ’02, 03, '04; Howitzer Board; Librarian V. M. C. A., ’04; Toasted, “04." New Wars 04. TT Though this blue-eyed Saxon hails from the “wild and woolly ML West,” it is safe to say that lie is the most harmless “had man" that ever held up a stagecoach or hit an onion. In fact the most dangerous tiling about him is the dignified po»c he is in the habit of assuming in the section room when hard up for a tenth. Will discuss any subject with you so long as you allow him to do the talking, and is never happier than when spouting birth his oratorical expressions to the effect that John Brown was the greatest of patriots! Believes that next to West Point, Oregon is the greatest place on earth, and i actually proud of the fact that she exports more lumber than any other state in the Union! His crowning glory is his hair. Le Roy Bartlett, “Tubby,” Providence, R. I. Field Meet, 02, 04; Football, oi; “A" in Football; Capt. Hockey l earn, ’04 05. 7T Bubbling over with knowledge of every description, he puts ML a|| his less fortunate brothers in the shade. In Ordnance, he embellishes his deduction of the binomial formula by a description of wire gun construction. Two quite different subjects, yet it docs gather the tenths. 'Though not present at the battle of Marathon, his illustrated lecture on the “Courage of the Ancient Greeks’ is indeed lifelike, and such descriptions have served a brilliant purpose—they help some poor fellow who is doing his best to bugle. His principal occupation in winter is pushing the snowplow on the hockey rink. He would rather skate than eat, and is foolish about the artillery. Joseph Howard Barzykski, “Prince,” Chicago, HI. “A. B ” TT Hoch, der Prince! The noble Pole; alias, The Big Stick. He ML mounted the fractious horse Greene for a polo pony- mounted on top of his polo stick—and when the horse bolted, forgot the reins and held to the saddle ? ! $ f § - and spent First class camp in the hospital. Stands aloof from the common herd and associates with one of their number only for the purpose of boxing, at which he thinks he is a fiend. Speaks Polish fluently, writes poetry in Russian, and sings German battle hymns. “Did you ever see a live clam? The H O W I T Z E R 49 Rai.ph Dwight Baths, “Arlo,” Bloomington, III. 7T Though not born with a silver tongue, his first duty after rising it ML, to harangue his roommate on the evils the day has in store for them. Continually harassed by “L. I Vs," he will not drag a “femme" to a hop until he has seen her picture. But he must have viewed the wrong picture once or twice, for his wife claims that the “general'’ has come back from a hop at least once in a mood not exactly angelic. He claims he was in no manner responsible for the Memorial Day parade in St. Louis, but his friends think differently. His only bad habit is an occasional puff at an unlit cigar. Albert Terreli. Bishop, “Nervy Nat,” “Gloomy (Jus,” Utica, Miss. “A. B.” IT With the Y. M. C. A. phonograph out of order, what would we ML, do without “ Mr. Bishop,sir" i An entertainer par txctUtnet and a bushel of fun. On account of his volubility, he is to be used at the hospital for amputating limbs. Oh, how it talks! A confirmed believer in spiritualism—has died on two different occasions, but comes back to life again after a rest in the pill joint. Is inclined to Christian Science, too—at any rate he hasn’t any faith in prescriptions 7 and 11. They served to water the pansies in the hospital, and then there was one more furrow in the area. Hugh Hunt Broadhurst,“Towhead,”“B. (. ’Goldsboro, N. C. “A. B.” 'TT When old “Moll Cotton Top" first appeared on the martial arena, ML, like the Irishman, he announced that if there was .1 government here he was forninst it. Unfortunately that was so apparent that he soon found the government forninst him, and he has been walking intermittently ever since. In the short intermissions between his afternoon strolls his chief stimulant was Sammy, which he devoured in great quantities, with the usually attributed result, which latter fact is his greatest joy. In spite of aversion to the straight and narrow way that leadeth to quill-dom, he was long a favorite with the ladies until two dozen of them compared notes and all claimed him. As a consequence he has now retired from active service.5° The HOWITZER John Pearson Burn, “Johnnie.” Corp., Co. M. Sgt., Lieut.; “A. B.” TT Here we have a member of the triumvirate. Senior member, also, if you please, from the days when, as the ‘‘Pride of the Yearlings,’ it ruled “Camp Churchman." The other members of this most famous of all triumvirates are T. Hammond and T. Roosevelt—in order of rank. John aims at being a spoonoid, and he has worked so assiduously thereat that hr has deceived everyone until lately -“until lately," for a short time ago John received a publication called “The Fusser's Book," a book of rules for fussers, which he was unwise enough to show to his friends and which of course gave him away completely. How could it do otherwise with such passages as these: “ Don’t drop her like a hot coal, the minute the music stops. Seem loath to let her go, and waltz a few extra steps if necessary. This is tremendously telling, and so easy!” and “There are subtle depths in the art of fussing which even yet may not be revealed to you," and “Be chivalrou-- to all, but easy to none."? Beware, all ye readers feminine, for he is studying these rules to the exclusion of all else. With their help and that of his chevrons, he bids fair to become irresistible. Henry Tacitus Burcjin, “Tass,” “ Buggin,” “Gaiter,” McIntosh, Fla. TT This effervescent ebullition was persuaded to refrain from enjoying ' L his P. G. S. of feeding orange blossoms to his pet alligator and was induced to join the Herschel Brothers’ Goat Picnic in First class camp. But as a member of the Armenian Society of Civilized F.ngi-neers he established his reputation as an after-breakfast speaker. It is generally surmised that he built the Sudbury Basin, for he knows all its history for the past twenty-five years. He is remarkable for his propensity for imitating animate am! inanimate objects, and his introduction of himself as the perspective of a tenth in Astronomy is excelled only by Miller’s Moonfaced Manikin. Charles Smith Cafkbry, “Bullet,” Franklin, La. Sgt.; Act. Sgt.; Hop Manager, 04, ’05; “A. B.” TT Ivan the Terrible could not have been more ferocious than was this disciplinarian while holding down a “position of responsibility and trust' in old Camp Forte. He would eat anything from a plebe to a First classman. Whenever aroused he would swell up like a balloon and then “bust" -his anger crushing and felling all in reach. Since the age of six, this eighth wonder of the world has lived among living rings and dumb-bells, and can “skin the cat" on a ridgepole, gas pipe or tie rod. A Rip Van Winkler and Indian Sachem.The HOWITZER 51 Arthur Hazleton Carter, ‘‘Goose ’ Marion, Kan. Sgt. Acig. Sgr. 7T This is a product of the land of Populists and Carrie Nation— NIL. but j» now civilized. In four years he has developed from a shy, bashful youth into a man of brawn and nerve. He has simply lost all hope that lie'll ever possess a beard, but always shaves for muster. A sad victim of circumstance—just missed a cadet captaincy because he did not possess a new dress hat. Having been troop cook at Tuxedo, he sympathizes deeply with the mess-hall chef and never kicks on a baked-bean breakfast. Quite obedient to superiors and a terror to the plebes. Roi.i.and Webster Case, “Casey,” Manchester, Mich. Corp.; Sharpshooter. "TT One of the many fair-haired specimens from Mich. Never known NIL, jo go a day without his usual afternoon nap, and is a close second to Rip Van Winkle as far as sleeping is concerned. Has the appearance of a true cavalryman. (It is too bad that appearances arc deceptive.) A great anti-machine worker on all class questions involving the common classmen. His spoonoid tendencies are efficiently assisted by his oily tongue and Janice Meredith curls. A prototype of “Sunny Jim.’ Was brought up on Mellin's Food, and since his debut amongst the “elite” has been a prominent member of the “Force Club.” Paul Hedrick Ci.ark, "Paul Henry,” Chicago, 111. “A. B.” IT Paul Henry himself says that he forgets when he entered the Acadc-NIL. my. But it must have been in the time of Sylvanus Thayer, for P. H. is the sole judge as to whether a thing has been a custom from “time immemorial.” During his furlough he visited the French Military Academy. He sent in his “U. S. C. C.” pasteboard, and it was not long before he and the Com. of said school were old pals. Not knowing that a cadet ranks but a trifle higher than the beasts of the field, the French Commandant invited this otherwise distinguished American todeliver the presentation speech at Graduation. Most nobly, in dulcet terms of West Point French, did P. H. present to each young Napoleon a diploma, and the memory of that speech is yet preserved in the annals of France.52 The H O W;I T Z E R Clifford Lee Corbin, “Carbine ’ Dayton, Ohio. Corp., Sgt., Actg. Sgt., Lieut.; “A. B.” ZTT A bachelor by principle and temperament, now and forever. Will not marry until he is a Major, and maybe not then—the army is over-married and he is going to correct the fault. Reckons time from his hegira from the slums of “F" Company. His native energy, uncorrupted by the influence of Klemm and Merritt, found vent in polo, at which he is a fiend. As a Second classman he was made a sergeant, promptly sent his chevrons away through the mail, and when reproached with it caused the ketchup bottle to appear a sickly white. Affects the society of a bunch of arch-hellers, such as Magruder, Daly, Hammond, |. S., and the like. . L 'X Avery Duane Cummings, “Bill,” “Dash,” Cceur d’Alt'iie, Idaho. TT His name is Avery, so wc call him “ Bill." As a yearling, his pow-Cli. ers, developed in the preceding year by spooning the teapot, won him the title of “Dash." “ Dash" sat out a dance on Memorial's moon-bathed balcony. A cadet showed up. Now he is “Bill the Squeeze.” He used to study, but has lately passed up the books, saying there is no use being a First classman if you can’t be a goat. His light, happy spirit will not be broken. He sings while lighting up at reveille, anti looks for a rough-house after a breakfast of Boston beans and brown bread. He has ever boned a leave, but never got one until Thanksgiving, when the Tac . overlooked him. This leave was a dream. He saw four shows, ate six meals, and got one hour's absence. His bed was awaiting him, and friends turned away when told that he was asleep at the switch again. He is going into the infantry for two reasons: the first doesn't count, the second because it is the fighting arm. He has always admired regal six-footers, so his friends and wives of years past wish him the best of luck, namely, a towering but gentle shepherdess who feels it her duty to lead this elusive lamb along the straight and narrow. James Francis Curley, “Sep.,” Pittsfield. Mass. Sgt. 'TT This man is in a class by himself, lie is neither a June man nor a Juliet; lie combines some of the qualities of both, but approaches nearest to being a “Sep,” anil hence his nickname. When he isn't talking tenths (his hobby) he passes his time in disseminating his original jokes. He laughs heartily at all of his own grinds, and asks his wife, “Say, Doc, don't you think that’s good enough for the Howitzer ?" Raised among the Berkshire in New England as the Sep was, it seems he had never seen a cow before the trip to St. Louis. Imagine, therefore, his surprise when he beheld through the train window a herd of cattle grazing in the pasture. He gave vent to his amazement by exclaiming, “Oh, look at the camels!”The H O W I T Z E R 53 $lj.ltI- Oj William Adams Dallam, “Ostcrmoor Hill,” Philadelphia, Pa. Corp., Sgt., Lieut. IT Behold in him a specimen of personified dignity. He hails from the city of Brotherly “ Lott." if you don't believe it. look at his eyes. The ladies say that he has some dark secret, and perhaps this is why he is entranced by • () Promise Me!" although he is not as a rule fond of music. He has a passion for violets, because “they match her eyes.” He rose to fame in one night as “ Billiard-B.dl-Bill, the Blushing Bridegroom,’ author of the book entitled “Maneuvers at the Altar. ’ Like a true urn of his municipality, he is of a kind and obliging disposition and is ever ready to carry a drcsscoat back to camp for any cadet who is going “spooning, old man, don't you know.” Charles Dudley Daly, “C. D.,” Boston, Muss. Corp., ist Sgt., Capt.; Hop Manager, '03; Field Meet, 02, '03, 04; Indoor Meet, ’02, 03, ’04; Howitzer Hoard; Toasted “Athletics” New Year's, '05; Football, '01, 02; "A” in Football; All-American Quarterback, '01; Athletic Representative. TT “Charles Dudley Daly of Boston,” and don’t forget the Boston. YLL, Famous a 1 an expounder (not according to Hoyle) of midnight theories on the “Ladies,” “Dear Creatures,” uJ infinitum. Was captured on the cow-path leading to Harvard and dragged to West Point. Has allowed himself to acquire the spommid habit. Is fast losing distance and it is greatly feared that some time or other the Bachelors’ Club will be scored on. History relates that at the age of Ann he was enticed away from his dcarly-beloved Boston baked beans and suffered greatly in the operation. In after years his bean grew to the proportions of a football and the separating process became more difficult than ever. Joseph Ray Davis, " ‘C Comp," Lowell, Ark. TT Oh, how he dislikes to be kidded! Will fight his weight in wild cats on the slightest provocation. A lover of good jokes on everyone but himself. By a most unfortunate blunder which could not be rectified at the time, the Tactical Department allowed him to live in ‘A Company for a year, and ever since this bold and bad man has really believed he is not a runt. But he didn't quite reach the medium mark in June and was forced to take up his abode in “C Company. After persistent efforts lie has finally engineered through a compromise with the T. D., and live in the Third Division. But he’ still too small for the flank companies.54 The HOWITZER T 6 James Hoop Dickey, “ Jimmy Hoop," Greenup, Ky "A. B.” (T[ Jimmy Hoop, one time a citizen of the Commonwealth of Ken-Mi, tucky, is still rabid on Mates' rights. He noses around the woods hunting for blue grass and moonshine. He has not seen a pretty girl since he left Wild Cat County, and calls a cadet hop a bald-headed fake. To him the cavalry plug is ever an eyesore and source of disgust. He blushes that Uncle Sam can not do better, and holds that any rat-tailed straw-fed Kentucky mule can give them cards and spades in any race. Voluptuous Jimmy is hard pressed. The Light Artillery made him deathly sick last summer, anil, while good cavalry drill on a blue-grass Bucephalus would be sweet music, on a gyrating sawhorse from the cavalry stable it is almost as bad as the Infantry. James dotes on poetry and ancient, though not general, history, and may be seen standing on his table at tattoo reciting “Curfew shall not ring tonight!” When the soft rays of the moon are reflected from the roof of the boiler-house, J. Hoop closes his Ordnance, pokes his head out the window, and hums, “She was bred in Old Kentucky.” George Dii.lman, “Pickle,” Cheyenne, Wyo. Sgt., Actg. Sgt. TT This charming young son of the plains, having had a slight taste Mi, 0f military life as a first sergeant in the Wyoming militia, got it into his noddle that he would become another Von Moltke, which is the sole reason for his coming to this place. It seems that while at home, besides his tin soldiering, he was also a mighty follower of Nimrod and Isaak Walton. If you will let him, lie can tell you of some marvellous shots he has made when shooting antelope. Five thousand yards was his minimum range, a .22 calibre Winchester the make of rifle. Sometime not having his firing-irons, he was compelled to race the critter across country on his fleet-footed cayuse. Five thousand yard he contends is a fair range, but he only made about twenty-two out of a possible hundred at the target butts at two hundred yards. Fifty-pound trout are very common out in the country around Cheyenne. He spent a year in the hospital, during which time his company lines improved so much at review that the T. 1). made him a sergeant. But now he is a buck. Wu.i.iAM Henry Dodds, Jr., “Willie," Detroit, Mich. Hop Manager, 04, 05; Howit .er Board; Sharpshooter; Furlough Committee. TT Another spoonoid—or attempt at one! Perhaps that is why he objected so much to the name “Willie." “Willie” sounds $0 young don’t you know, and after one has celebrated his twenty-second birthday, as Willie did one night last December with the help of his friends and a shoebrush, the name is not appropriate. But Willie is above all else a polo fiend! During the season, all conversation in which lie took part finally came round to polo under hi guidance. Since polo stopped, he has become an ardent ridoid, taking his favorite pony “Nutmeg” out to exercise on the plain every possible day. The exercise, however, seems to have been all on his part—and of the flying gymnastic variety on one occasion. This event is probably responsible for Willie's austere silence on the subject of polo and ponies, and perhaps also for his recently-developed preference for the Artillery over the Cavalry—although there is an Artillery post near Detroit. Wc all hope it may be the Coast Artillery, as that would better meet his wishes in both directions.The HOWITZER 55 ")Cn- h frtn. Thomas Bartwell Doe, “Tom Asheville, N. C. C rp., Co. Q_. M. Sgt., Acrg. 1st Sgt., Lieut.; Football 'I'cam, oi, 02, 03, 04; “A” in Football. TT Of all our military specimens this is the prize—and he knows it, too. He was a blue-ribbon corporal, a noble right guide, and with a glorious record behind him, bet his equipment fund that the T. I), would give him a June lieutenancy. But he was selected as Grand Keeper of “A" Company's Skin Book instead. It was then that he forgot all the angelic poetry his former wife, Long John, had read him, and in a fit of anger set out to the Tac’s tent to ascertain why he had been so neglected. He had not only been a good skinoid, but during his spare hours had run the street roller, thus aiding in improving the Post. But in his pleading he lost control of himself and began relating his past achievements, and the first mention of having routed a whole regiment of North Carolina Militia the Tac’s heart softened and Tom was promised a lieutenancy in September. Chaki.es Stuart Donavin, “ Don,” Columbus, Ohio. Corp., Sgt., I.imt.; Howitzer Board; Hundredth Night, ’04, 05; Hundredth Night Committee, ’05. TT I.ook Bead - Digest Here he is, the real article. The NIL genuine and only originator of the “skit.” The expounder of Mother Nature's laws. The prize bunco steerer landed in the wrong place. Anybody with a flow of B. S. like his shouldn't be a soldier. He ought to be looking for Parker votes in Pennsylvania or selling electric belts or Barrios diamonds. But have you ever heard him tell one of his stories of “ye olden days' at West Point ? Most heartrending tales of tyranny and oppression, in most of which he was the hero but from which he emerged “mutilated but radiant' —a corporal. His military genius was not appreciated (or maybe it was done so that the “old man” wouldn't feel badlv). At any rate, in September he was No. 4, front rank. F. Co. One thing we mustn't forget, and that is his power of “specking.” If to the very essence of speck, divested of all its fancy embellishment, be added a most generous supply of the highly-developed art of goldbricking, there ensues a composition of French origin well calculated to write labels for Lydia Pinkham or to reproduce “weir '-ed diagrams of the most complex nature while standing on his head. This is Donavin. Rupert Algernon Dunford, “Mathy,” “Rupc," Salt Lake City, Utah. Actg. Sgt. TT He has a hatred of enlightenment, and poses as a misogynist; can NIL, trisect an angle, but it is not true that his definition for “lady" is a “triturating apparatus for lobsters.” Doe not knock with an ordinary sledge hammer, but utes a pile driver, and can compute the force of each blow in terms of the latest rumor emanating from that relic of prehistoric times, the Phil. Department. His facial expression, under ordinary conditions of temperature and pressure, is insoluble in all substances. But when indulging in that rare luxury, the contemplation of a tenth all his own, laughing gas will cause the dignity of hi countenance to disintegrate. Will take the infantry because he has a pair of cadet-store shoes which must be worn out.5 The H C) VV I T Z E R IIai.sey Dunwoody, “Hungry," “ Dunwoodin,” Washington, I). C. Hundredth Night, 03, ’04, 05. 7T Hungry Halsev, better known in musical circles as “The Boy 'S L, Soprano,' the king of warblers ami letter-writers, and the possessor of unlimited talent as a composer Rise, singers, and salute your king!! In addition, an irrepressible punster, a tactician of no mean ability, the blindest speckoid in the class, and oh, 0 military! With a record such as this, how could he be other than a celebrity, not only here but even at the capital of our great country ? Mention any well-known politician, army or navy ollicer, secretary, either private or departmental, and Halsey has known him for “oh, ever so long,” given him advice or discussed grave subjects with him. Hut Halsey is best known for his singing ( ?). Any time, day or night, he can he heard warbling the latest “hit” or a composition of his own. As a member of the choir he is a shining light at services Sunday mornings, and the Corps will never know what it missed through the fact that the copy of “Calvary' brought to chapel one morning was written in too high a key for his voice. James Sage Dusenbury, “Duse,” “Duscnbug,” Port Haroldson, S. C. Toasted “ Riding Hall” New Year's, °5- 7T Successor to “Nap” Riley as platoon driver. Sits for hours at .1 'dT rime reading his tri-weekly letter from Columbia, and the latest edition may always he found between the leaves of his Engineering. In the section room tiptoes to the board, gently picks up | inter and s| r.ik» in a hushed voice in order not to scare any tenths away. His opinion of an instructor varies directly with the numbrrof tenths squeezed from same. Encyclopedia of information concerning ways and means of treating “King Mac” and the Cadet Store Trust. A gym fiend; ha-been known to chin himself, and claims he can turn a somersault. Clever rider; has been seen to actually get on a horse by shinning up the horse's front legs; can tell you from experience that .1 horse can kick harder and with more effect than hi' best girl's cranky father ever could. Clifford Cabell Kari.y, “ Jubblc," “ Jube," “Sooner,” “General,” Lynchburg,Va. Outdoor Meet,'04; "A. B.” TT A veritable captain of industry and .1 trust magnate. Has never ' » attempted to regulate commerce,but belie vest hat restraint of trade is an inherent right of any cadet who affects to exercise it. Accordingly has been “Johnny on the spot, and owns, operates and controls the largest depart mein store on the Post to the exclusion of all others. Will supply anything from a box of tenths to a three-panel Howe truss at a moment's notice. Docs all his hanking with Prince Hob, who in turn supplies Bradstrect with all statistics concerning this enterprising citizen. Has recently perfected his ladder of fame -a labor-saving device akin to the slide rule—whereby the relative rank of every living soul on the Post may be readily determined.The H O W I T Z E R 57 Robert Collins Eddy, "Pot,” "Mother Eddy,” Simsbury, Conn. TT Pot i .in ardent lover of Nature. Hi-, life is near to Nature's 'S C heart. Spies on little birds and tries to imitate their spooning tactics at the hops. At the art of spooning he is as graceful as a bear. His domestic regime consists in fleeing from his demoniac wife Deacon, appropriating tenths, writing daily letters, and denying that “it" will happen on graduation leave. His voice sounds not unlike that of a Thomas cat at the instant of joining battle. Author of The Tenth in Perspective, or The Way of the Engineer. Arthur Rudolph Khrnbeck, "Jingle,” “Dutch,” Seattle, Wash. Field Meet, '03, ’04. TT He denies that he made Milwaukee famous. Can give graphic and 'S C mathematical descriptions of every tenth that has escaped him. Will tell you its reaction (where it struck him and bounded off), its action under the hammer, and its velocity to the limit of vision. He occasionally causes consternation when he deigns to give society a treat in the form of his presence at a hop. He can find traces of his Dutch dialect on any geometrical plane ever misplaced bv an absent-minded Math. Department. His weakness for sauerkraut and other forms of Italian cooking is taken advantage of by his unscrupulous wife, who trades poor "Jingle" wienerwurst Daschund for pistachio-wow-wow ice-cream. Thomas Henry Emerson, “ Puck,” Areata, Cal. Sgt., Lieut. STT A man with more energy than he knows what to do with, m he saves it. Now, one would think that he must of necessity be a buck, but hr “ain't.” No No! Bill was right on deck when there was a vacancy in the "makes "and took the Tac. Department by surprise, and he now goes around with a big slouch and a pair of chevrons, finite a boy with the ladies, too; carries ribbons, and gloves, and other things around in his blouse pocket, and when you see him sidling across the area with his hand in his breast he may he thinking of the fair damsels-— but more likely wishing he were down, down where the soda-water flows. As a rule he doesn't say much, although when he waltzes up to the board to recite, a cataleptic stare comes over his countenance and his jaws clack till the machinery runs down. But there's one thing he will talk about the Engineering Department swiped a tenth from him sometime last September, and he can't get over it. But he says he was too tired to kick at the time, and now he's saving up for graduation leave.r ie H O W I T Z E R 58 William Fitzhugh Endress, “Lena,” “ Bill, Jamestown, N. Y. Corp., Sgt., “B. A.,” Actg. Sgt.; Howitzer Board; Hundredth Night, ’04, ’05; Hundredth Niglu Committee ’05; Furlough Committee, King Committee. TT “Mathy Lena," at least lie lias that "rep.” Once upon a time he YIL, ha,! at the first front hoard a rather difficult subject in Phil., but Lena faced about in exactly two minutes (mean solar) and recited beautifully with a clean board. But woe unto Lena’ He was asked the method by which he obtained his result. The answer came swift and sure,"Why, I just integrated the above expression!' "Well, Mr. Endress," said the Captain, "that’s too bad! Mathematicians have been trying to integrate that for a hundred years, and here you have done it and rubbed it out." Lena promptly took hi feet off the floor But Lena is no spoonoid—his record is three hops in four years. However, hr one day resolved to make a supreme effort in this line but overdid it and was once more out of luck. Consequently he was busted, and since then has been trying to become an adept in the art of juggling. His pet trick i to salute an officer while manipulating an umbrella, a suitcase and a bon-bon box. Ben Waller Feild, “Benny,” Jonesboro, Ark. TT Hunted out of the wilds of Arkansas and finally cornered by his YIL, feminine “enemies," he is compelled to •■troll accompanied by a platoon of police for protection from leap-year enigmas. Flirtation is paved with the hearts which were turned to stone when he promised to be a brother. Is not above saving life, as his record shows. Benny was seated alone (f) on his well-worn rock at the water’s edge, when lo! a man in dire distress, drifting drearily downward, despairingly drowning, gasped. "Help! Help! I’m drowning!" Benny’s indignant reply was, "Wretch! go drown somewhere else; can't you see there is a lady here ?’’ Is the only man in the Corps who can go to a long roll at 3:00 G. M., or to reveille on Monday morning without swearing. John he Barth Walbach Gardinf.r, “Jack,” "B. J.," Baltimore, M l. Corp., 1st Sgt., Lieut., Capt.; Football, ’02, '03; Baseball, 02, ’03, 04; "A” in baseball. Marksman. TT John de Bark-up-a-tree-Washbucket Guard-mounting, a Maryland NIL parasite, has flourished on the shores of the Hudson for the p.i't four years, and is now preparing to go into the heavy artillery' and join the teredo navalis and limnoria. “He is a bright, lovable youth and will make a fine soldier," so said his Podunk of him four years ago, and so say the Post femmes now. Under the old Ordnance regime he talked of going into that department, but now he has changed his mind, and if you would know the reason—ask him. Talks and writes like chain iightning, and hi semi-occasional "b-aches," submitted to the Com., furnish that worthy with many high-sounding words and phrases.T he H O VV I T Z E R 59 Carroll Hanlby Gardner, “ Poco," Wakefield, U. 1. Actg. Sgt.; Foot ball Squad, 02. TT 'l he hist of the Chickasaws, hut lias never been a “good Indian' ' kdcipilr his many endeavors along that line. A typical Yankee, shrewd in his dealings with the Cadet Store, and a genius for keeping out of debt. Hence, always grt» his full leave and spends it at home (r). Swears by the “Bohston” and Maine Railroad, but never objects to a ride on the N. Y. C. as long as Vassar is his destination. His clothes-press is a model of up-to-date arrangement in plan, section and elevation, a due appreciation of which on the part of the Com. brought him a pair of chevrons in First class camp. uJL Adfi.no Gibson, “Daddy," Oskaloosa, Iowa. Corp., Sgt.; Indoor Meet, ’02, ’03; Sharpshooter; Furlough Committee. A superannuated specimen brought from the Primordial Beach and ' • ■ nourished on Dinosaur's flesh and Paleozoic l«obster A la Mess Hall. This last diet accounts for many lobsterian qualities. He witnessed the first love scene in the Garden of Eden, ate the core of the Fatal Apple, laughed when Methuselah spanked his young 250-vear-old son Lantech, drove the Golden Bull to and from pasture, and has lived to adorn the Class of 1905. A fire-eater—his turbulent nature took him to the Philippines in V , where he slew his thousands. It should be against the Law of Nations for the United States Army to use him, he is so terrible when in action. And to make matters worse, he it from Iowa. Krnest Graves, “Pot,” Chapel Hill, N. C. Corp., 1st Sgt., Capt.; Fug of War, 03, 04; Football, ’oi, ’02, 03, ’04; Capt., 04; "A" in Football; Baseball, ’02, ’03, 04, 05; “A" in Baseball; Marksman. TT A gentle, graceful, winsome lad who never knew a harsher tone than 's La flute-note, and who runs amazingly to neck. In football he stands high, plays low, slugs hard, and never gets caught. He made an annual habit of eating young Navies until they begged to have him muzzled. As a skinoid he takes the cake, and as a quilloid he will go down in song and story to our plcbcs of the tenth generation. Tenths he shoots on the ground and strangles them in their nest, for he is a Pot hunter. And Pot Kan Kuss, hates most women, hat an outrageous drag with the Com., doesn't give an ogee-faced dam for anybody that he ranks, can jump the highest, fall the hardest, yell the loudest, eat more railroad iron and more spikes than any man in the class.6o The H () W I T Z E R I)k WriT Clinton Tucker Gruiiiis, “Venus,” ‘‘Old Man,” Shelby City, Kv. Corp., Color Sgt., Lieut.; Hop Manager, '03, ’04, ’05; Lug of War, ’02, 03, 04; Business Manager of Howitzer; Manager of Bast-hall Team, ’05; f urlough Committee; Bing Conimitec. TT Herr we have the oldest living undergraduate, but lie's quite a spring chicken even if the hair i' all gone. Life would not he worth living if hr could not attend the hops. Returning from these functions he doe a war dance around the room in his Dutch clogs for half an hour before retiring, and as a consequence there' no sleep in the nth Division as long as the “Old Man' is up. The I-beams buckle and the whole wing of barrack shakes when this seven-ton monster walks across the fl x«r. Use the hammer on all occasion and especially hard are the blows when he's up against a catch problem. According to him there are no “square deals” at West Point. When the family lost their chevron there was great wailing and gnashing of teeth, lie sleep more than anyone else in the Corps and smoke only when in a had humor. Ali.kn Wyant Gui.i.ion, “Slum,” New Castle, Kv. Howitzer Board; ( rator, Fourth of July; "A. B.” IT Dead (seated thrre dav of beast barrack in order to launch a vali- dictory mess of It. S. at the helpless student of Centre College, and has hern deadbeating and B. S.-ing ever since. Reported here w ith his speech under his arm and had many opportunities to repeat it m Camp Slouchenhurg, to ti e rdification of the upperclassmen. Had It. J. written all over him and this,together with his prrfcrrncr for the classic to gun-cleaning and Imning, landed him in the guard house and the goats. In hi latest book entitled Nursery Rhymes for Fourth Clastmen he show a motherly disposition which endears hitn to many old women of both sexes. Sidnky Howland Guthkif., “Parson," Irving, Kan. Sgt., Actg. Sgt.; Field Meet, man; “ A. B. ” “ Deacon,” ’04; Marks- IT Was given hi nickname on account of a superior degree of sanctity. Sil, He i looking for hi wings every day by mail from “Kama .'' A natural-horn musician, and won the applause of “The Bird in pie be camp by playing Dixie. Occasionally says soft saying to unsuspicious damsel , but a a P. S. be i just in the pin-feather stage. Swear like .1 pirate, and love the weed. Browbeat hi meek wife, Eddy, whom he compel to find shelter beneath Corbin's chevron .The HOWITZER 61 John Stevens Hammond, “Long John," Chicago, ill. Corp., Sgt.; Indoor Meet, ’o2, '03, 04; Field Meet, 02, 03, ’04; “A” for record 220-yd. Dash and 100-yd. Dash; Champion All-Round Athlete, 04. 7T Spoonoid, sprekoid, and according to himself a ridoid. He specks ''■‘ everything from the mess hall hill of fare, Monday morning, to the 'kin list Saturday evening. He was horn a spoonoid and had a relapse while a pleln . He is always in love —- — — with the last femme. One day he is going to Rome, the nest he is inquiring the number of vacancies in the marines, hut is going into the cavalry provided he is not blackballed, and provided also that the likes the yellow stripe. A natural-born gossip with scandal to burn, All the news of the Post he endeavors to learn; But somebody found out that John could be stuffed. So his story fell flat and now John is quite huffed. Thomas West Hammond, “ Tom,..............T. W.,” Ashland, Ore. Corp., Q_. M. Sgt., 1st Capr.; l ug of War, ’03, ’04; Football Team, ’02, 03, ’04; “A” in Football; Ring Committee; Toastmaster, New Year's, '05. He, Midas-like, turns all to gold; He smiles when others sigh; Hnjoys alikr the hot and cold. Ami laughs through wet and dry. TT As a yearling— Corporal Tom; as a Second classman- a typical '"‘Ldeadbeat. In the section room of life his “Do you think so?“ will net him as many units as did his “Yes, Sir" in Client. His voice has the bell-like resonance of a carefully constructed open organ pipe, and it can be heard morning, noon ami night. Persist in throwing bread m the mess hall; such notorious conduct, taken with the fact that he lives with Benny Feild, shows that life goes by opposites. Plays football with the strength of ten, ami has mowed down many attempts of the Navy interference to circle his end. May he “drive” us even up to the glorious mess hall almve. Toward Cornelius Hanford, “Ned,” “Han,” “Mill,” Seattle, Wash. Corp., 1st Sgt., Capt.; Indoor Meet, '02; Field Meet, ’02, ’03; Fencing Stpiad, 03; Toasted “The Army,” New Year’s, '05; Furlough Committee. 7T Stayed over a few days with the “Tacs” when the rest of his class NIUwrnt on furlough. Such devotion was not overlooked and Bill eventually became one of tbe Big Six. As a diplomat he has no equal. He is first in the hearts of his Cadet Company, and holds down fourth place in that of the Com. Has always aspired to a teat on the Supreme Court bench and is honing law with that aim in view. Believes in terseness and always abbreviates when he can, much to the disgust of the Solonian Department, who object to cadet dang in such a solemn document as a law-writ. Dreams of polo, pipes of it, and plays it jike a fiend.62 The H O VV I T Z E R William Henry Hawks, Jr., “Chip," Towanda, Pa. Acting Sgt.; “A. B." TT Thin blue-eyed I . I). hail from thr foothills of Towanda. Ho 's % pride in hi uniform ha kept him here. A mortal enemy of the peace and of tobacco, which staple he consume in enormous quantities. A member of the “Disturbance Union, his famous haunt being the bathroom and area after taps, from which he dispels that peace which is so dear to a Tac. His favorite stunt is to pour buckets of rocks on tin roofs and to drag the cannon ball down stairs. His natural antipathy for “Babes" often causes him to make rapid exits off the area. The machinations of the Tac» caused his downfall and reformation. He had rathrr talk to a “Buck than to a major-general, and can tell you the I . C. S. of anyone on the Post. William Nicholas Hknsley, “Scrapper,” Columbus, Neb. Actg. Sgt.; Hockey Team, ’04, 05. TT Rip Roaring, Row-Wow, Razzle Dazzle Bill, the Scrapper. With Trench accent, walks this Hair-oil Hero. Is the synthetical antithesis of a pre-existent dimple By dint of passing strength he moved the rock of the Tactical Department for a probationary “make.” His emotional nature makes him easy prey to rumors of wild-cat money. Does not like his nickname, as he thinks it is inconsistent with the idea of a monocle. Lives in an atmosphere of quadruple calorific intensity, commonly called “hot air," and views himself through a magnifying glass, while others see him through the wrong end of a telescope, as it were. Suspects even his friends of attempting to impose on him, but still offers a reward for a suitable svnonvm for Vassar. Harry Tkli-.mach IIkrrinc., “Dumguartl," Jackson, IVnn. Baseball, 02, ’03, ‘04; “A" in Baseball. TT “'The Darling of thr Gods’ “gods," did I say ? “I mean ladies." A regular Sir Walter Raleigh—only that ancient gentleman isn't m it with Harry. One day he and one of his “many (No. 7,1 think he said) took a thrilling flight from the top scat of the grandstand. Dum-guard didn't spread his coat for her to fall on, but gallantly allowed her to use him as a cushion to break the fall. He’s handsome, too; the envy of the whole Corps, and has two nice little black curls on each side of his forehead. (His curling-iron is tih.tr mounted!) These curl with his rich, persuasive voice just play havoc with the feminine heart . You would think anyone so gifted would be of an optimistic nature. But no—you missed your guess! Harry can make the anvil ring louder and longrr with hi “two-man sledp'" than any man alive.The HOWITZER 63 John Niai Hodges, “Hedge," "Scraggy," Baltimore, Md. Corp., Sgt., Acig. O. M. Sgt., Lieut.; Field Meet, 02. ’03, 04; Marksman. Z7T A '‘ unny, ’ smiling, trusting, sort of a cuss-; an engineer by birth, ML. axpeckoid, hopoid, and 1 . S., by profession, a fervid »poonoid (especially .1 I’. .S.), a daring rider, a graceful conversationalist, an audacious gallery boner. He strokes hard and blushes easily. Is said to have been an instructor in cavalry at his tin-school in Pennsylvania before coming to West Point. With a Simple Simon faith he went fishing for trout in the brook that flows intermittently through the culvert on the way to the crossroad. Has a way of spooning femmes desperately and failing, at the next meeting, to recognize them. Arthur William Holdkrness, "Artie," Kenosha, Wis. Sgt., “I?. A.," Actg. Sgt.; Field Meet, 02, ’04; "A” for record in Mile Run. “Isn't hr a daisy, Artie sets them crazy— All the girls arr dead in love with Artie." IT Has never tried his hand at comic opera, but the above applies just Ml the same. Entered in the light-weight spoonoid class, he carries off the blue ribbon in the Hotel Course Handicap at every meet. Spooning has cost him much sleep and more hair. He stands high in favor with the barber who likes to take easy money. In a maze for five days in the week hr “comes to" only at meals and then to knock because ladies can not dine at the mess. Norman Nathan Horowitz, "Ike," New York, N. Y. "A. B." TT This globule has continually and persistently defied analysis. Not Ml even the Chem. Department could find anything in him. Has fixed ideas on every subject and never lets an opportunity pass without airing them. Something of a spoonoid, he takes a fiendish delight in appearing at all the hops where he trie to corner the I.. P. market. Bring of a decided New York type of Brunette, he has a decided affinity for the St. Louis type of Blonde. This probably accounts for the large item of “soda-water" in thr account of his expenditures at the L. P. F..64 The HOWITZER John George Hot ., Indianapolis, Ind. Field Meet, 03; Baseball, '02. TT In the days when this high school athletic hero was being reared in tile Hoosicr State, he bought a carload of gold bricks, and since then has been suspicious of everyone, including his friends. Hut he is a diligrnt student of ancient history, and in his researches has discovered that primitive man came from ti e country of "Bacteria. ’ Spoons by fits and starts, and is known to his acquaintances as Lord Chesterfield, “sub two” having attended a long roll call at 1 A. l. in full dress and white. Distinguished himself on the skirmish line by firing at the half-exposed target above the butts instead of the figures, and consequently is no sharpshooter. l)i: Witt Clinton Jones, “Jonah,” Norcross, (In. Corp., Sgt., Lieut.; Marksman; Indoor Meet, 02, 03. TT Here, ladies and gentlemen, is the gobbler of the class of 1905. 's“-» He gobble' all the time about the great man lie is, the great tiling-, he has done, can do, and will do, but alas! which he never docs do. He is one of the four successful tenthoids and a candidate for the scarlet stripe, faced with white. His chief occupation is comparing tenths with "Pot" Graves and praying the Fates to restrain Wilby and Ridley from the race for first place. Cadet Jones is one of our desperate spoonoids. but we wish to caution the young ladies to weigh well his words. He tells every pretty girl the same story about his wounded heart. His motto is, "Rather wear chevrons than crawl slouchers." He, like Emerson the poet, is a model young man without a single fault, and as a result is a difficult subject to handle with care. He has a serious objection to being bombarded with bread in the mess hall. As a result hr receives fifty tokens of the stall of life to every other fellow’s one. He is easy to please, for he claims that plain slum is “fiendish" and that molasses manufactured in the warehouse of New York City reminds him of the really good kind which may 1m- found in Georgia homes. Otho Vaughn Kean, “Otto,” Lynchburg, Va. Corp., Sgt. Major; Adjt., First Hop Manager, 03, 04, ’05. 7T We got this one straight from Old Virginia. He can make an I.. P. ' % think that she is the belle of the ball, or make out hop cards for celebrities on short notice (by order). He often states that his only joy-in life is to ride in the hall or on the road, but we have our doubts. He seems to be exceedingly fond of a good grind even on himself, and never loses an opportunity to “get one off” on someone else. Though usually quiet, he has sudden fits of b-cssyness and harangues the whole Corps for a while before supper every night.The HOWITZER 65 Philip John Radclipfk Kifhl, "Joby,” Waukesha, Wis. Actg. Sgt. 7T A .1 plcbe this individual entertained great hopes of a “make' . And whv shouldn't he? For did hr not stand high in drill regulations, and did he not stand up as a plcbe should ? Indeed, Joby was not a little disappointed when his name was not on the list, but he consoled himself as he said with seeming indifference, 'Tin glad I wasn’t made; just think of being bumped!" His wife accuses Joby of being a spoonoid. and this statement is corroborated bv a little incident which is supposed to have happened at the last Easter hop. It seems that the chaperon on the way hack to the hotel caught Joby spooning in the sentry box. There may be some doubt as to the authenticity of this story, but it is known for a fact that Joby got a five-minutes’ late rejH rting his return. Kaki. Daenzek Ki.emm, “Dutch,” St. Louis, Mo. Corp., Sgr.; Howitzer Board; Football, ’02, ’03, 04; Hundredth Niohr. ’04, 05; Hundredth Night Committee, '05; “A. B.” (T[ Direct descendant of Charlemange, and shows it. A natural-born 'S L fighter and always looking for a "fuss." At present, lead "dr gang” over in " F" Company, and calls his tribe the Ostrogoths. Mixes up occasionally with the Vandals of ”E" Company. “Yea, Dutch!" Achieved fame on the gridiron and was the greatest consumer of toast and fried chicken on the squad. A member of the "Front Row Club,” sympathizes with the down-trodden tenth and is proud of the fact that he once wore chevrons. At Fort Totten he took moonlight rides along the seashore behind the famous nag, "Dr. Riddle." Is not strictly a spoonoid, hut occasionally lends a hand. Spends his time thinking up practical jokes. His one ambition in life is to soak someone with a barrel stave while they’re not looking. Louis Albert Kunzig, “I . I).,” “Dutch,” Altoona, Pa. Sgt.; 'Fug of War, 03, ’04; Football Squad, ’oi, ’02, ’03, ’04; Fencing, ’02, ’03, 04, ’05; Manager ’05; Field Meet, ’02. ’03; “A. B.” TT A charming Frenchman from Pennsylvania whose Irish brogue is manifested under strong excitement by prolific use of "Yet already once,” “Aind’t so, Lewis?" Star member of the Herschrl tribe; it is reported that he boned hard enough once to escape being conditioned, hut is suspected of having started the rumor himself. He worked one morning under the impression that it was amusing, hut found out hi mistake in time to go to the hospital. Since then he has successfully deadbeated everything that had anything like "work" spelled on it. Was busted for taking a hath at St. l.ouis. Lately has taken to studying landscape gardening at Vassar, and seems happy. Heretofore has hinted darkly of being crossed in love, hut nobody asked him about it for fear he would sing.66 The HOWITZER Arthur Willis Lane, “Professor,” Portland, Me . TT Arthur Willis Lane first saw the light o day in the happy-go-lucky burg existing under the euphonious appellation of Durham, N. H. When hut two day old he yelled for a hammer and has heen using it vigorously ever since. Despises the fair sex and never longs to dance, ‘midst enchanting strains and stresses of “Bill Bailey," preferring to cling to his fireside, roasting marshmallows and other things. His most notable achievement, one which brought him both fame and demerits, was a wonderful structure he designed and to which, in lucid intervals, he proudly referred to as a bridge. Theoretically it was a bird, but owing to some slight errors in and P,, coupled with the bridge's natural antipathy to standing without support and to the unskilled labor at his disposal, the structure was a brilliant failure. Bernard Lentz, “Doc," Theresa, Wis. Actg. Color Sgt.; Hundredth Night, 05; “A. B.” ZlT A jolly, jovial Kip Van Winkle, full of fun and always happy, ' S L overflowing with mirth. His “patients” can't help getting well. His aim is akin to that of the famous man he resembles, and it maybe truly said that he’d “rather cure one case of blues than be president." Spent a few days at exclusive Tuxcilo, where he received the inspiration to write his touching little book, Aslttp at the Switch in a Rain Storm. And oh, how it did rain! A great lover of music and the theatre, and hence a valuable member of the Hundredth Night Company. Robert Henry Lewis, “Bobby,” Fort Edward, N. Y. Corp., Sgt., Lieut.; Howitzer Board; Sharpshooter. They wore their coats, they’re drest in state. But bide a wee for Bobby, boys— He’s gang out wi Jack Kean; The De’il knows how long ye’ll wait Before they’re back again. ZTT Born in luck, reared on good fortune, boosted by bootlick, and made by the |uill. Known in the Corps as ” Bob,” known to the femmes as “Bobby.” He is like Ichubod Crane “with a soft, foolish heart for the sex,” but has safety in numbers as he can not need all the girls that have hi Lieutenant’s chevrons. Soldier by choice, scholar by compulsion, artist by talent, spoonoid by intuition and best kind of a fellow any wav you take him.T he HOWITZER 67 Thomas Mixon Lowe, “Lowball,” Nevada, Mo. Sgt., Actg. Sgt.; Marksman. 7T The .ictu.il wonder of the twentieth century hails from the land 'S L that flows with water and mud; hut he claims there is more to his native state than St. Louis. After a three-years apprenticeship he has developed into one of the boys—loves an occasional puff at a skag and is foolish about his root hccr. His cavernous voice is like the roll of the mighty ocean or a mid-summer night’ thunder storm, and is consequently used in the choir to re-enforce the two-by-four organ on the basso profundo. Believes that the color scheme of the service uniform should harmonize with the surroundings, and declares that in far-off snowy Russia, white duck is worn the year round. John Lund, “Dutch,” Cedar Falls, Iowa. Corp., Co. Q. M. Sgt., Lieut. TT Here’s “Dutch” who hails from Amsterdam, Potsdam, or per-'S L haps Macadam. Claims to be a native, but when called upon one day to entertain visiting officers of his own blood, he could only make signs (and “Dutch” Klcnun did all the talking). Do not think that because he has all the characteristics of his race (No. it shoe, big mit, interfering knees, and a large waist measurement) that he is unmilitary and a "buck,” not so, for he i a“dis-boner”and the “Com” made him his goat corp. But this spry boy was not born to be a goat in anything, and now wears a high-ranking three-bar decoration on his sleeve. He never has much to say except when there are femmes in the company and then he shines. We find a sturdy, strong character that makes him a loyal and true friend to the Com. He never drinks anything but vinegar and likes violets very much. Clarence Kumukoa Lyman, “Kaiiaki,” ‘‘Queen Lil,” Hilo, Hawaii. Corp., Sgt., Actg. ist Sgt., Lieut, and Actg. Q. M. TT A wonder from the gems of the Pacific. The first of his line at 'S L West Point. By accidentally refusing to have hi picture put in Collier'} Weekly, he jumped into prominence and the good graces of the Tac . He has had a terrible struggle with the fair sex who think he is “too cute for anything.” Can’t make up his mind which of several heiresses he will negotiate with and can hardly wait till he get back to Honolulu to give the populace a treat. His adventures and hair-breadth escapes remind one strongly of Sinbad the Sailor, and he never tires of telling how he was treed by a wild boar and rescued after a terrible siege of five minutes' duration. Is a noted equestrian and can ride anything from a rocket to a rail.68 The H O W I T Z E R George Washington Maddox, “Sep,” Owenton, Ky. Sgt.; Howitzer Hoard; Toasted "The Corps,” New Year’s, 05. Z7T The last of the Srpr. and one of them .»Im .t good goal. Admit-ted in September, ’1)9, and still survives. Goat absolute in Second class year. Inventer of the far-famed "accelerated jiggle’ ; like all great inventors he had trouble with it at first, and was nearly found on kites before it was perfected. Now hr can easily bathe, shave and dress for parade between first call and assembly. Divides his time between poetry. I.. P.'t and polo, but is always ready to push any good thing along. We trust the cold, hard world may have for him a warm and sheltered spot. Torrey Borden Maghee, “Maggy,” Rawlins, Wyo. ZlT If we believe the stories that he tells, Murder (.’reek must have sighed with relief when this young Lochinvnr came out of the West. His eight-mile ride on an antelope’s back is a thrilling tale, but has lost its force since Old Montgomery dropped him in the tan bark. His vivid descriptions of the wild Indian race is only surpassed by that of the "Tail Race" rendered in the section room of ('apt. Willcox. Unlike most of us, Torrey despises to "bone grandstand' and would rather watch an artillery drill from the side lines than be a Chief of Platoon. Hr is of those gentle ones who would use the devil himself with courtesy. George Lloyd Burns Magruder, “Burnsie,” “Maggie," Washington, I). C. Corp., Sgt., Lieut. Z7T “Arbiter Elcgantarum’’ of the quill. The epitome of all that a cadet officer should he. The seed of that delicate plant, the quill, has ever laid dormant in Burnsie’s soul, and needed hut the tropical sun of the Tac. Department and Mac's tender care to bloom into the glorious flower we now find it. To hear the rising inflections of his hoarse battle-cry and see bis trusty blade waving among the flying wads of a sham-battle, brings forth from bis faithfuls .1 cheer second only to that which greeted his triumphant exit from Franklin Field. k.The HOWITZER Frederick Willis Manley, “Fritz ’ “Freddy ’ Minneapolis, Minn. Actg. Sgt.; Furlough Committee. IT In him we have an exemplification of one dear to the heart of 'S L» the fair sex. whose winning ways, coy manners, and captivating ►mile have a marvellous effect in winning their hearts. As a plebe we had hopes for him, hut each succeeding year has seen him develop along the lines of a spoonoid, until now—"words fail us. ‘ He spoons at all times and often overtime, as evidenced by his many absences, his motto being, "absence makes the cons grow longer.” The correspondence of this youth, who is the recipient of countless letters of love and devotion, would seem to indicate that he is a firm believer in the principle of 16 to i. Dougi.as Imrik McKay, “Doug,” “Mac," New York, N. Y. Corp., 1st Sgt., Capt.; Hop Manager, 03; Field Meet, ’04; Howitzer Board; Hundredth Night, 02, ’03, 04, 05; Chairman Hundredth Night Committee, ’05; Leader of Choir. IT Covets the record in n ot as gallery-boner, blind speck, and should have it as “ I . S.” “ Oh, what is so rare as to spoon on the Post.” For this, of all pastimes, pleases him most. He loves to dine out and is proud of the boast that he's a spoonoid by trade and doesn't care who knows it. So eager was he in the pursuit of the golden braid, during his Second class year, that he did not hesitate to give his tactical officer the impression that the efficiency of the battalion was centered in one first sergeant. As a token of adoration he salaams to his chevrons every night l efore retiring. Preparing his recitation he "reins back" into the middle of the section room, to get a perspective view of his creation, looking at it with head gracefully cocked on one side and arms akimbo. Then follows the accurate reproduction of the text. So many ladies have told him he is handsome, that he says he is beginning to believe it. And he is the daintiest fairy on the stage. Lewis Herbert McKinlay, “Mac,” “Sept Sr. Paul, Minn. Corp. TT Our fountain of wisdom. He will give you his advice on any sub-N1L, ject at any time. The almighty tenth, which he pretends to hate, is in reality to him the sign of all divinity. When corrected at the hoard invariably says, "Why! Ye Sir, that's just what I meant.' Has been known to keep his death grip on a single tenth for half an hour during a conflict in which the instructor generally won out. Is noted as one of the mucilage twins and would have taken the engineers if he had made 'em’.7o The HOWITZER Berkeley Thorne Merchant, "Bu M,” Wacervlict, N. Y. Corp., Sgt., Co. ( . M. Sgt., Lieut.; Mop Manager, ’04, ’05; Howitzer Board; Basketball Team, '03, ’04, 05; Marksman; Leader of Choir; Cheer Leader. (Tl ’‘Say, fellies., doc you know Budd Moichant ? This Ray Lothario is never Happy unless he is boning lo get out of a writ. He will burn the midnight gas behind blanketed windows for several moons, if by so doing he can perchance deadbeat a three-hours’ exam. In this he shows wisdom not bred in the ordinary goat. He can tell a long shot a mile off and will swoop down on it like a bird of prey, but when it is captured he spends all his honing time in imparting it to his fellow-goats. He can start the most probable rumor with absolutely nothing to base it on. Being horn at the timr of the culmination of Venus, he early decided to follow the Astronomer's calling, working out the Equation of Time when still in the cradle. He washed his face in the dip of the horizon, drank out of the Little Dipper, used as his primer a Star Catalogue, and for his teething ring he found an annular eclipse very convenient. Wii.liam Katon Merritt, "Slew,” “Si,” Springfield, III. Stage Manager, Hundredth Night, ’03; "A. B.” TT Buck from plebedom to graduation, also area-walker at various 'S'B times. A man of many nicknames. Well known in the parts where his migrations have taken him. His career at the Military Academy has been checkered. He has never been on friendly terms with any department -“They're all bad; onlv some arc worse.’ “1 11 do anything once," is his favorite quotation. His living up to this is a question. When most men have enough of most anything, he is only just beginning. His fondest desire is to be known as a non-spoonoid. This he upholds during the week fairly well, but when Saturday comes along, a kindred feeling to the one which leads the sailor to the sea, and the woodman to the woods, takes hold of him, and nothing can squeeze this feeling out but his tight dress-coat. Sherman Miles, " lleincy,” Washington, I). C. Corp., Sgt., Actg.Sgt.;”B. A.,” “A. B” TT The most artistic of the 57 varieties. Never been accused of bc-Vs L ing able to ride anything but his own hobbies; viz., sleeping in the halls of barracks, eating six dishes of oatmeal at one sitting, and instructing the Japanese. Admires nothing in art so much as his own picture. Authority on all subjects, played with Napoleon in his boyhood days, and knows Alexander personally. Owns all the characteristics of a good general, but was defeated in an engagement at Hotel Belleview and compelled to take forced marchrs. However, he is improving on all sides and broadening in a vertical direction. The H C) W I T Z E R 7' William Charles Miller, “Alligator,” “Bunny,” Ocala, Kla. Hundredth Night, ’05; Marksman;Toasted "The Ladies,” New Year’s, '05. 7T It's a wonder l.ew Fields didn't hear of him and take him into Dutch comedy. Oh, how it can mimic! Amuses his friends with an occasional dog and cat light and doses the performance with .» bow that would do justice to a grand opera singer. A great reader of the colored supplements, and in fact, is a whole Judge'i Quarterly himself. Has used his utmost endeavor to turn the indoor Meet into vaudeville. Delights in telling grinds on “tacs" and will sacrifice a con. or two for the good of the cause. Clarence Andrew Mitchell, “Wild-Eye,” “Mitch,” New York, N. Y. “Complacency and truth and manly sweetness" are his characteristics. Not even a pair of deuces can change the placidity of his infantile countenance. We called him truthful and he is, save where the eternal feminine is concerned; then he is a “false, fleeting, perjured Clarence," and all his vows are hut the wandering bung-holes of uncreated barrels. Only once did he ever lose his temper. He visited his wife. Weeks, on furlough and that trifler with hearts left him with an I.. P. for three mortal hours. When Weeks returned to this Casablanca of love, tears stood in his beautiful eves and reproaches issued from his baby lips. His wife made apologies for him and led him, sobbing, to bed. Basil (Jordon Moon, Charlottesville, Ya. Corp., Sgt.; “ B. A.," “A. B.” A bold adventurer is this beacon ligl t of class history. To look at him you would notice nothing startling or alarming; but there he is disguised under his bearing of calm reserve, a peculiar trait for dare-devil enterprise. The stories of his audacious excursions on the Hudson in a I . M. E. Department's boat would put the legend of Sleepy Hollow and the tale of Rip Van Winkle in the shade. It was on one of these pleasant trips that Basil, owing to the light color of his hair, was hived and for six months after that Basil confined himself to writing a new book entitled “Meditations of an Area Bird."7 2 The H O W I T Z E R Robert Morrisson, Jr., “ Mastodon,” “ Fat,” “ Robbie,” Wilmington, Del. “A. R.” TT One of the original Herschels. Being naturally a lover of astron-otny, he spent his entire summer trying to ensnare Venus with an Ephcmeri anil a dish of Mercury. After his return from Ft. Totten he spent many hours vainly Irving to find out the meaning of S. W. A. K., which he found inscribed on the back of a blue letter addressed in a feminine hand. Possesses the unhappy faculty of bobbing up serenely at all examinations. A tactician of fame—he was permitted by the Academic Board to observe army manoeuvers in order to gain more skill in his semi-annual skirmishes with the various departments. Hopes in time to gain fame as a locomotive engineer. Felix Waggoner Moti.ow. “Rill,” Lynchburg, Tenn. Marksman. TT Here we have the original Bill: original in everything. Dances original Steps, spoons in an original way, rides like an orang and punches the bag with unremitting zeal. The poetry of motion in him is personified; he walks like a comma after a period of rest; accepts invitations to dine in Washington on a six-hour leave. Analyzed has an a bo real or woody structure, not affected by the hammer in the hands of his wife. Gloomy Gus. Has lately decided to take the creosote process to preserve his beauty. Is not affected by teredo or limnoria. Bis link motion is not high-geared enough to captivate many of the sprightly tenths. Ki.lkry Wii.i.is Niles, “Celery,” North Chesterville, Me. Sgt., Actg. Sgt. TT By his expansive smile and engaging expression one recognizes .,t first sight "Celery." Born in the wilds of the Maine woods, his underpinning became overdeveloped by constant (lights from the bears and moose, at the same time that his eves took that firm and steady stare which marks him at once as a man of action and a squire of dames. Distinguished himself in plebe camp by wearing his cartridge box around his neck -said he thought it was a knapsack. Also in First class camp, by going on June leave tot he “metro-polis," where he met many charming people. One of these actually called him by name, but Celery had his wad inside his stocking that evening and wasn’t buying any gold bricks, no how, by jinks! Returned safe.The H O VV I T Z E R 73 Louis Albert O'Donnell, “Mike,” Philadelphia, Pa. Howitzer Board; Hundredth Night,’03, ’04, '05;“A. B.” TT An original Frenchman straight from the auld country with a life 's'kL. preserver in front of his name. Hi? spends most of his time boning “dis” and never was known to get a late. Once he was in the first grade up to the 2d of the month, but the records show that he was in the hospital on that occasion. Also spends a good deal of his time imitating anv and all of the theatrical stars and bemoaning his fate that he didn't “go on the boards” instead of coming to West Point. Once had a voice! The first night of plebc camp the upperclassmen gave him all the “Bull” he could smoke to sing for them. The next night and henceforth they offered him Egyptians if he would refrain. Makes frantic efforts to play football, basketball, and win the indoor meet, but there's a hitch some place for his effort in this line are not appreciated. Thomas Dewey Osborne, “Runt,...............Tommy," “The Minor’s Inch,” Charlotte, N. C. Corp., Co. Q. M. Sgt., Actg. 1st Sgt., Lieut.; Ring Committee. TT Baw! waugh! waugh! I am Mr. Tommy Osborne, sir. My 'S L striking resemblance to a bantam rooster is my characteristic distinction from all other small men. I am one of the many blackballed members of the Bachelors Club. I am sole member of the Widowers Club. I was married once—I shall never marry again. I advise all to be like me. I was once superintendent of a Sunday School, now what am I—A thwack Doctor. My specialty is “How to Grow 'rail,” a startling discovery that will revolutionize the Physical Condition of Mankind. Why remain so short and stunted when you may learn free the great secret of how to grow tall? I was once short myself, but look at me now! I grow six inches shorter every month by application of this wonderful discovery. |i'i.ius Charles Peterson,“Pete,”" |. C.,” Klgin, 111. “A. B.” TT This fair-haired tenth collector has worked havoc amongst the Engineers and Philosophers. When he butted into this select crowd, indignation knew no bounds, because an intruder had actually invited himself into that continuous performance of tenth gathering. And you ought to hear him bluff a recitation—can recite on subjects not in the book with the same ease that he climbed into the Graves-Joncs combination. Would rather ride a side-horse any day than dismount at the hurdle. And shows his preference, too—goes to the gym. most every afternoon at 4.30.74 The HOWITZER il adia- Roger Garhhi.d Powell, “Roger,” “Lena, wait for me!" Logansport, lnd. Marksman; “A. B.” There was a young person named Roger, Hr said to himself, “I'm a dodger, ’ But Roberts, T. A. Our tac for that day Most lovingly A. B'cd young Roger. TT Mr. Rowell achieved his first success in cadet life by attempting to tun the blockade established near Fort Clinton by a tactical officer. He succeeded ... in getting “two months confinement to barracks, area of barracks, and gymnasium," anil during this time served punishment tours to infinity. Then and thereafter a mighty “grouch" seized upon him, causing unlimited {lowers as a speckoid to blossom forth. He divides his spare hours between the study of “How to Win the Tenths’’ by E. Graves, and “How to Grow Hair on the Top of Your Head” by “Venus" Grubbs. He is runty, but a Beau Brummcl and swash-buckler of the most dangerous type. “Wait for me, Lena; wait for me!" Walter Kldridge Pridgen, “Shoat,” Kerr, N. ( . Sharpshooter; “A. B.” IT Surc-Shot-Shoat — that brilliant North Carolina footlight. Of a profound mind is he- so profound that nothing has ever gotten to the bottom of it. Has that wise stare while reciting that is worth many tenths—if he is kept quiet. Spends most of his time writing permits to contract debt with the barber. He has an option on all the Eau de Quinine in the shop. His budding genius as a statesman is amply shown by his researches in diplomacy whereby he has determined that “Philip of ‘Mastodon’ was the first to announce the truism that ‘The Constitution is the rudder of the Ship of State.’ ’’ Walter Kvans Prosser, “Vassar Bill,” New Albany, lnd. Corp.; “A. B.” TT Sometimes called Vassar Bill or “Vassarline Bill" and has the Vv iN record for the number of visits to that Mecca of Cadets. Has feasted his eyes there so often that he has ocular gout, but still does obeisance at the shrine. Surpasses both Gloomy (Jus and Venus Grubbs as a knocker and uses in the gentle art of knocking a brand of hammer peculiar to himself. Says he was born to be great, but the world is beating him out of his just dues, and he would sell his birthright for one square mess of optical pottage. “I want to go back to Vassar.” In appearance resembles a furlough moon, and as usual “Distance lends------.' The HOWITZER 75 Norman Foster Ramsey, “Rameses,” “Bdlygarde,” “John Ram," Topeka, Kas. Corp., Color Sgt., Actg. ist Sgt., Lieut.; Hop Manager, 04, ’05; Tug of War, '02,04; Howitzer Board; Manager Football Team,’04. TT This talc is told—he is from Kansas. Apply the usual formula for representatives of the state. Make all tension members of wood—he is a strenuous member. Double the coefficients for tenth-boning, dixboning, promiscuous spooning, P. S-ing, and quilling, and here you have him, a model cadet! Though long in the public eye, he still possesses that verdant charm which has rendered him so popular among those fair ones whose faithful attendance during the past fifteen or twenty years has made West Point hops what they are. We trust, however, that they will respect his youth and seek elsewhere for a short cut to happiness. James Wilson Hemphill Reisinger, Jr., “Jimmy Franklin, Pa. “A. B ” TT Ach, dcr Jimmy Reisinger. Has military training accomplished anything for this Franklinite ? Yea, boom! Behold, for three long years he was a runt. After living three months in the Q. M. D. lie became the pride of “F” company. He has of course amused himself on the area, which thrilling exercise may have helped increase his height. But a good old goat is he, and while his fellows chase the festive tenth until they're black in the face, Jimmy is peacefully resting. It is no wonder that he wears a smile that is a smile. Clarence Self Ridley, "C. Smith," “Riddle," Cory-don, I ml. Corp. IT Known to his intimates as “Riddle.” One of those queer kinds tJiat roost in the 1st Section in all branches of mental gymnastics, and from which you couldn't move him with a lever constructed according to “philosophical” principles; goes down and out at the mention of “Put vour arms about me, Clarence.” Thereby hangs a tale, but Clarence and the maid are both silent on the subject, so we leave it with the “Unsolved Mysteries.” Has perfected a wonderful labor-saving device for cold mornings. Aroused by the reveille gun, he languidly allows his long left arm to connect with a system of cords and pulleys. One pull, expending but two foot-pounds of work, causes the window to shut, the door to slam, the gas to light. Then dresses and pushes him down stairs where an automatic voice reports for him. Will take the Engineers and die of old age attempting to determine why he can't lever.76 ‘The H C) VV I T Z E R Charles Kof.mer, “Reemer,” “Romay,” Sugar drove. Ky. “A. B ” "TT “Reenter" is a most military file. Says he's not wooden--ju»t 'S C doesn't think fast. Although hr comes from the “glorious commonwealth of Kentucky" he does not care for his native Bourbon-his only vice being ’running it out” of Cadet limits and getting caught. Hr walks (the area) as gracefully as hr bestrides his spirited equine steed, Montgomery. He emulates Stonewall Jackson and boldly attempts strategy, but, unlike that brilliant general, he is usually unsuccessful; witness the case of Koemer et Moon versus The Area. He is a poet by nature and is deeply sentimental about six feet deep. George Randolph Rogers, “Roget,” San Diego, Cal. Sgt., Actg. ist Sgt., Q. M.; Marksman. TT We couldn’t knock on old “Roget" if we tried; the very worst '■‘“-.thing we know about him is the part he played in the demoralization of little B. H. Williams on furlough. The winning of his first chevrons by making daily promenades in front of the Corn's quarters, clad in a dress-coat, a brace, and a smile, while the thermometer registered twenty below, coupled with his gallant leadership when Captain of the Bay Horse Troop in its operation before Tuxedo Park, won for him undying fame and insured his future success with the Tactical Department. Though Providence has decreed that his name shall no longer appear on the class roll of 1905, we still wear him in our hearts as a brother, and our best wishes will always go with him. ( )scak Arden Russell, “Oscarwana,” Comanche, l ex. '7T Behold him a youth of great promise. Not nearly so quiet as he '■'“, looks, he has been known to shoot up a town in the most approved cow-boy style. Causes his friends trouble by his boisterous and noisy conduct. Also works his fine Italian hand with the fair sex and has many irons in the fire. Believes that Texas was originally the Garden of Eilen and will fight if anybody doubts it. Is open to conviction that a zd Lieutenant's pay is enough for two.The HOWITZER 77 Allan Rutherford, “Allan,” Gaithersburg, Md. 'TT His big manly voice turning again towards childish treble, pipe and whistles away. Being an “Md., he would like to yell when the “ Dutch” hit off “ Maryland, My Maryland,” but the vision of an unstable Christmas leave forces him to swallow his joy. As section marcher in 1 M. E., he lost more hair than P. Walker ever had. His attempt to push the goats up the hill in time for parade, taught him that a goat won't climb for a tenth. He was up against the impossible, so he gave up in despair. Alone in the Tower dungeon of the 8th division, Allan set up bachelor quarters, but the duties of a housewife were too heavy for one man, so he combed his hair in the middle and started for Vassar. “Just wait until graduation,” said he, “then shall I never sweep another floor.” Louis Piaget Schoonmaker, “Schoony,” “Schooner,” Paterson, N. J. Actg. Sgt. TT Citizen of anarchistic tendencies. Rotund specimen of the old Dutch hailing from Paterson, N. J. oligarchy. Like his ancestors he is 5 ft. 6 in. tall and 6 ft. 5 in. in circumference. Believes that his beauty can be preserved only by visiting the land of dreams from 4 to 6 p. m. daily. His manner of telling a grind is killing—to the grind. Is quite military. Speaks purest Castilian. Clairvoyant, knows everything—past, present and future—and can give the Academic Board pointers on anything that ever happened. “And still we gaze and still the wonder grows That one small head can carry all he knows.” It is too bad Napoleon did not have the benefit of his services. Charles Lewis Scott, “Scotty,” “Chelsea," “Andy," Mt. Pleasant, Ala. TT Whoa! Doesn't understand English, French or German. But 'dL. with the aids, he can be managed fairly well. Ix ves to chew a good old watering bridle, but will not object to a curb. Hind feet only arc shod with Cadet store brogans. So keep away from his heels. Play polo and spoons. Actually believes everything he see in print if by so doing .111 eztra tenth will come his way. Believes that old King Dorus was a merry old soul and had nothing but cavalry in his army. His only reason for bring Pro-Russian is that he worships a cossack.78 The H O W“I TZER David Curtis Seagravh, "Seawavc,” “ Big Chief,’ Reno, Nev. I'ug of War, ’02, ’03, ’04; Football, ’01, ’03, ’04; “A” in Football. TT Ding! Ding! Ding! Clear the way! Fire! Fire! Fire! And the Big Chief swept by with a rush, bellowing “m-boo, m-boo," with Ducrot Bain madly galloping along with the nozzle and Celery bringing up the rear with the window cords and weights, saved from the wreck—An inspiring picture. Most any hop night one can sec him carried along on the crest of society’s wave towards the supper table. Came from out West sometime in the past, and has all the terrible ways of the Bad Man, calculated to inspire fear in man and love in woman. His heavy countenance and wise look speak eloquently of the massive brain behind, so filled with plans and schemes—for breaking into the Hospital. Damon and Pythias and Cupid; Celery and Sea-wave and Bain,—all in the same boat in N. Y., and that a heavy sea-going hack, m-boo, m-boo, Big Chief, heap in-boo. Herndon Smart, “ Becky,” New Orleans, La. '7T It all goes to show that a fine young sprout will still thrive even when planted in Louisiana and then transplanted among the North Carolina pines. In map making he’s a genius, having traced more contours in his reconnaissance sketch than appeared on all the map of the other members of the squad. Once a buck, always a buck, but only because his quill is employed from one week’s end to the other in writing those choice lines which he mails on Sundays. “Beck" is a dark horse and loves a dark corner. Is passionately in love with Astronomy as shown by his sleeping out in the company .street at Oscawana in order to drink in the beauty of the stars. Thomas Marshall Spaulding, “T. M.,” St. Johns, Mich. Corp., Sgt.; Field Meet, 02, 03; “A. B." IT Can tell you anything. This intellectual phenomenon is “alive 'dt on the inside." Has invented a cipher disc whereby the “Geographical Key" may be interpreted correctly. And lie has digested every volume in the Law library, including the Federal Court Reporter. Knows by heart the Kphemeris for 1905 and the Ballistic Tables and has almost absorbed p. 68 BrufT’s Ordnance and Gunnery. Know the exact minute when he will take his examinations for first lieutenancy, when the Philippines will be self-governing, and why a red stripe is more beautiful than a yellow one. On the quiet,—he will not take the cavalry.The H () W I T Z E R 79 John Roy Stakkey, “Red," Roodhouse, III. TT “Red was a model youth until he went to the New York Horse 's Show where he fell in with Jingle Ehrnbcck and Tommy Tompkins. An eyewitness informs us that his downfall was complete, when the trio ran across “Bill'’ Mot low, who insisted on their having a hot soda with him. Together with Shoat Pridgen and “Rolf" Talhot he has never been known to mitt a feed hop or an afternoon tea on the Post since his plebe year. He takes inhuman delight in entertaining his sub.-div. about 3:00 G. M. with a cry that is a cross between a closed pipe overtone, a long roll, and the “Gen. Belknap" whistle. If you can not tell him by his picture, look behind his cars; he may in this way be distinguished from “Jimmy" Reisinger, and Basil Moon, since he is red behind the cars, whereas Jimmy i white and Basil pink. Carlos John Stolbrand, “Red,” New York, N. Y. Indoor Meet, ’02; Furlough Committee; “A. B.” TT This specimen is our blue-ribbon dis-bonrr. Having early set his heart on the infantry, he has endeavored during his four-years' sojourn in the Haven of Rest to get as much practice for his favorite arm as possible. As a consequence, he has been taking forced marches every Wednesday and Saturday for the last three years. Is an adept with the hammer and is a strong member in the anvil chorus. Has a taking way with the ladies who think he i» just a dear. His hair is the admiration and wonder of all who see it. The color is indescribable, but somewhat resembles that of tan bark, probably due to the frequency with which he hits it. Ralph Talbot, “Talbo,” Denver, Col. “A. B.”; Class baby. TT lb-fore going on furlough this young man w'as a confirmed woman-YU hater and the smile on his countenance was perpetual. But lo! and behold! the change when he returned from that summer at home. Of all the downcast, heart-broken, and forlorn specimens he was second only to Benny Feild, the life-saver. Studying was out of the question during his Second class year, and as a result many a morning found him doing his best to “bugle.” But his pitiful pleading for tenths, amid showers of tears, softened the heart of “T. A” and Bill was given a goodly supply of the elusive little articles. He is ever the same when a tenth's in question. Like the Pears' Soap baby, “He won't be happy till he gets it.” Is distantly related to Willie Harris, for In yearling camp one day he gained renown, He signed an explanation, “Arthur Brown.” Feeling much above the masses He raised his rank two classes, And the Commandant received him with a frown.8o The H () VV I T Z E R Frederick Coleman Test, “Slow Powder," “ Freddy," “Testie," Council Bluffs, la. Actg. Sgt. TT An advocate « f “Schools for Femmes.” Has at least one cousin 'Ss L in every school within a radius of a hundred miles of West Point. He takes special interest in Vassar and, in common with his friend “Bill," holds the record for attendance at that institution. May he seen any Friday evening giving final instructions to new Vassar recruits as to methods of approach and procedure, etc. He is noted for his “mathv" theories on the use of slow powders, the fundamental principle being that the “factor of safety” varies directly with the hiking quality of the workman. Principal cuss-word is “shucks." Robert Spencer Thomas, “Bobby,” “'Tommy," Brownsville, Term. “A. B.” (TT “The Man of Feeling” a volatile essence, an indefatigable enthusiast, and one that is sincere and successful withal. Not untouched by poetry and affection, a figure of speech will make his heart throb, while a violet half hidden from the eye will induce a monologue in which botany and sentiment combine. Optimistic by principle and sentimental by nature, lie finds “book in running brooks” and good in everything. Passionately fond of the cavalry plugs and knows them all by name. Arthur Carlos Tipton, “Bull," “ lip," Las Vegas, N. M. Sgt., Actg. Color Sgt., Lieut.; Tug of War, 02, ’03, 04; Field Meet, 03; Football, 03, 04; “A" in Football; All-American Center, ’04; Manager Hockey Team, 04, ’05. TT This All-American Avoirdupois hails from the wild of New Mexico When you see him in the distance, you are unable to distinguish whether he is moving at a trot or a gallop, hut you arc morally certain lie is either going or returning from the South Gate. You can tell him by his blue eves and beautiful blonde hair, ami any time you hear a femme talking about “The Divine Arthur,” you’ll know the means “the Bull." He ir. a sprinter, as was shown in the Navy game, and he worked up his speed during his Second class year by coming in from the Catholic chapel on the last note of call to quarters. Before every football game he always washes his hands in Sammy, so that if he once gets his fingers on a hall it is his.■The H O W I T Z E R 81 Calvin Pf.ari. 1'itus, “Teetus,” Colorado Springs, Col. Corp., 1st Sgt., Q. M., Lieut.; Indoor Meet, ’04; President Y. M. C. A. 7T “Medal of Honor for gallant and daring conduct at the battle of 1'ckin, China, August 14, 1900, in the presence of his colonel and other officers and enlisted men of his regiment, in being the first to scale the wall of the Chinese city, while serving as musician, Company E, 14th U. S. Infantry.” • Born in Iowa; raised in Oklahoma; lived in Colorado; resided in Vermont; claims citizenship in Kansas. A soldier of fortune—he served as a regular and a volunteer, in the Philippines, Japan and China, in which latter country he is reported to have scaled the wall of Pekin in order to win his bet that it was of quarry-faced ashlar; and to have swum across a river with a rope in his teeth, a sword in one hand and a pistol in the other. At St. Louis the papers referred to him as the “Beau Brummc!” of the West Point camp. While at the Fair he was scandalously “Hobsonizcd,” but bore up wonderfully well under the treatment, and even got fat on it. Haldan Crling Tompkins, "Tompo,” "Hal,” "Low Lungs," Chicago, Ohio. Indoor Meet, ’02, ’03, ’04; l ug of War, 02, 03; Field Meet ,02, ’03, ’04; Basketball, ’05. TT Thi is Tompkins the (Jreat, the one you have read about in the Ml nory books. It would In impossible to relate all of his many heroic deeds. He first won the admiration of his furlough damsels by hi gallantry in extinguishing a blazing hen coop while mansions and warehouse were being consumed all around him. The new of his gallant conduct on this occasion reached the ear of the Tactical Department and he is now assistant to Chief Seagrave. When standing naturally, he is six feet tall, but can increase his height eighteen inches by standing on tiptoes. Has been trving to bone up the secret of his life, but so far he has not succeeded. AW Francis Bowen Upham, “Yank," Bellows Falls, Vt. Indoor Meet, ’01, 04; Field Meet, ’03, 04; "A" for record Quarter-Mile. TT Francis Bowen Upham, horn in Bellows Falls, Vt., hence his ML remarkable lung capacity. Known to his friends as Yankus Pyang, from his close resemblance to Slam Ia e, the Highland Falls laundryman. Typical Yankee with the hardest-working voice in the corps. Has a fine physique built for speed. Is very unfortunate in his affairs of the heart, but lives in hopes of better luck. His little book entitled “Who wa she before she was what she is, is she,” or “Why i' an I.. P.”, has been declared by Benny Feild to be the ablest discussion of this time-honored topic he has ever read.82 The HOWITZER James Frederick Walker, “ I .," Denver, Col. “A.B.” TT Though unwilling to admit it, has plainly demonstrated that friction on an inclined surface will slowly but surely accomplish its inevitable result. Many a time has lie made a 3.0, not on account of his intimate knowledge of the subject, but rather because of his MV in the bluffing line and ability to read the correct answer in the instructor's face. A philosopher of no mean talent and in scientific research, a leader. Is acquainted with enough of the Black Art to enable him to wring a goodly supply of tenths even out of the Engineering department. Can quote more pages from Webster's International than any other man alive. He has about a dozen pet hair tonics and claims that as a result of forty years'constant application, there has been considerable increase of hair per square centimeter. Bloxham Ward, “ Blox,” Broober, Fla. TT Detailed for standing gun drill in plcbe camp, he indignantly demanded, “Now where am 1 going to find that standing gun?" While in New York he was beguiled by intriguing damsels into getting a twenty-four-hours' absence on furlough. Spent Second class year in the hospital where he ran through the list of diseases—whooping cough, cholera-infantum, gout, mumps, glanders, spavin, ring-bone, and croup. Cross-section shows more summer wood than sap. As O. D. at guard mounting, he came to parade rest like a buck private, but then everybody pipes these days. George Frank Waugh, “Winky,” “Wow." Boston, Mass. Corp., Sgr., Lieut.; Marksman; Football, ’oo, ’oi, ’02, ’03, ’04; Class daddy. “Because he's afraid that the “Runt" will be made That's why Winky skins so much, Skins so much now." T[ Thus ran one of the songs so popular in Camp Forse, and sad to relate the “Runt" was made in spite of the fact that Winky tried hard to be military. But look out for him, ye fair readers, for he numbers his conquests by the hundreds. So many pictures has he of his fair victims that he makes a complete change in the upper shelf of his elothespress every week, and his proudest boast is that he never has to repeat. According to his theories one should not be engaged to more than seven at one time, though on special occasions he has been known to increase this number to nine. In view of his wide and varied experience he has decided to open a correspondence school and will give his advice at remarkably low terms. Address all communications to “Bull Tip," his private secretary.The HOWITZER 83 Wii.liam Seward Weeks, “Wecksie,” Lyons, N. V. Marksman. TT “Such men arc dangerous.” Of a dark Italian type is this youth. 'S L He has loved but once. Then it was with all the fire and passion of his Florentine soul. Celestial constancy and an almost Machiavel-ian ability in working the Cadet store are the means whereby he hopes early to effect his matrimonial felicity. A great and original tactician, he now has before the General Staff the following change in the 1st Sergeant’s report:—“All are present and counted fours.” Ami would you know what “meat it feeds upon”—this Romeo, this C sar? Simply fudge, which she sends him every week. William Whitehead West, Jr., “Willie,” Asheville, . C Actg. Sgt.; “A. B." 7T Golden curls, a pair of broad shoulders, and a big brace—you Nil can't mistake him. This military file ought to have been a “make” all three years, but the Com. only saw it that way for three short months. Quite familiar with every inch of ground around West Point ami it is said that he can find his way down toward the South Gate blindfolded on the darkest night. A lover of the horse, and even goes so far as to have a warm spot in his heart for Fulton and Marcey. He plays polo when not in “con.” Francis Bowditch Wilby, “Francois,” “Dewillough-by,” Detroit, Mich. Corp., Actg. Sgt.; Editor-in-Chiefof Howitzer; Hundredth Night Committee, ’05; Secretary of Dialectic, ’04; President of Dialectic, 05; King Committee; “A. B” IT Francois Rumditch Wilbv, born in Michigan and not ashamed of NIL it. Passed his early days in a little joint called Deerfield located somewhere in Mass. A precocious youth was Francois. No Mother Goose Rhymes for his; lie preferred “ E sped ally Prepared Interpolated Pipe-Dreams" and hence his remarkable success in after life. When but three years old he wrote a little volume entitled,“Stresses, Strains, and Stuff." Knows how to stand one in Math, without boning. Never goes to a hop without his fingers crossed. Has an unfailing formula for preserving goats. Is a heller with the pen, can draw anything from a 3.0 to a Gibson Girl. Docs his most brilliant thinking while in the arms of Morpheus, therefore it can be truthfully said that “he works while he sleeps.” Will take the Engineers, passing the balance of his day writing unintelligible mathematical stunts, building fireproof reservoirs and bullet-proof I-beams.84 •77 i- H O VV I T Z E R Benjamin Henderson Lokne Williams, "Breechloader,” “Alphabet,” “B. II.” San Diego, Cal. Corp.. Sgt., I.ieut.; Sharpshooter. TT Can put the leaden bullet where he willeth and is no bad shot 'dL, with the arrows of Cupid. His flcctness of limb while a Second class Sergeant won for him the admiration of the T. 1)., and he has worn the $5.50 kind on his dress-coat ever since June. A wit of doubtful quality but undoubted quantity. Always boring his friends to death with the Tale of Tabby. This sedate old gentleman has just completed a new pronouncing dictionary of scientific terms, and hereafter all bullets will slide over the slippery surface of a “tragic-Torv" by order. Patrick Henry ‘Winston, ‘‘Par," Raleigh, N. C. Corp., Co. Q. M. Sgt., Actg. 1st Sgt., Lieut.; Howitzer Board; Baseball, ’02, ’03, ’04, C: pt. 05; “A" in Baseball; Tennis Champion, 02, 04, singles and doubles. TT The nlvcry-tongued 'Southerner! Has hi namesake backed clear off the boards’for oratory of a spontaneous order. His weak, inoffensive, diminutive wife, “l’ot" Graves, says that in his sleep he even gets off monologues of the cosy-corner variety and dress rehearsals for the following day's campaign with the feminines. Is a shining light on the diamond and a howling success with the gentle sox. The expression “that dear Mr. Winston" is almost as common as the moss-covered query “How old is Ann?" Can talk to eight femmes at once and never muffs a word. Is one of the pioneers of Flirtation Walk, one spot of which is known as “Winston's Rock of Ages" (anywhere from iX years up).ITT ERKDITY and environment, we are told, are the two ____I most potent factors in the development of any class of individuals. It is an accepted fact that Geology is History, although we do have a separate course lor each. We know from studying what has been, vvliat will be. If we read in the annals of our early history that a cadet who runs (from a “Tac.”), walks as a consequence, we are enlightened enough to perceive that there is no mistake in the statement, but that it is an epigrammatic truth of much value to us and to our posterity. We have passed through a period of revolution and evolution, and have undergone a metamorphosis surpassed only by that of the dinosaur of old, of whom we cry “never again,” and smile with that look of internal joy which betokens that the culmination of this period in our history is not far distant. Soon after the mighty storm that shook the Point to its foundations and made even the great gray stones of its protecting hills tremble, there appeared on the brow of the hill near the Administration Building one hundred and sixty-four human beings, for such we were then called. But the title perished, as did our hopes, for we were soon transformed into the most inhuman of beasts became carnivorous and yearned for that bestial dish called slum-gudgeon. Like Samson of old, we were shorn of our locks and our strength departed with them, for we soon felt the onward rush of the mighty current of Life whose terrible onslaughts scattered us like Middies before the “ Boston Sleeper.” Some fell, others stood, and with it all we learned that in unity there is solidity, in friendship there is strength.86 The H O W I T Z E R Our heredity is as good as another’s. Our environment, we are told, is changed. The very rocks cry out for the good old days as the southern darkey longs for the return of the times when “befo’ de wall” he was in slavery and bondage. But as the departure of a midsummer storm leaves the earth fresh and the air clear, so, though we know it not, are we in an atmosphere which is pure and clean. There are still clouds on the horizon, but they are passing KKVIIW TOR PRINCE IIKSRY, I 9 O 2 away, and our environment is that of a man who looks his fellow-man straight in the eye and holds his head up. Just as, in his early struggles man was strengthened through adversity, so we passed through that testing furnace called “ Beast Barracks,” and came forth sadder but wiser men. Later there were newcomers to our class. We called this addition “ Juliets,” and pitied them. Bur in the end we knew that they were wise, for there is no caste among beasts, and the less time you are one the better it is for you. Philosophy, even before we tackled the Second-Class course, grew to be a habit, so that when the hoys ate “Breechloader’s” fruit cake, he was able with philosophical stoicism to be glad that “they didn’t take his diamond ring.” A great epidemic broke out in the summer of 1901, due to an inquisitorial custom then introduced in an effort to make cadets (for such we were then called) more ornamental to camp when theyThe H O WITZER 8? BEGINNING OF CREATNESS walked those dear things called guard-tours. The suffering was the greatest recorded since the destruction of Pompeii. Of those far-distant days we possess few authentic records; the beaten paths to Flirtation and Fort Put show that then as now the means of communication to the spoonoid’s haven were still open; the worn bark on the old camp trees indicates the age of a time-honored custom. We passed rapidly through C. Smith, and over other pit-falls laid for the reckless. Occasiona I ly we pa used i n 011 r struggle to sigh for a com- rade lost, and think of “the wor 1 d ” where he was going. We pushed through difficulties which are now but distant dreams. And with it all we seemed to feel that this was not what we had lived and looked for. Was this the glory of which we had heard ? Could we ever pull through this incessant grind; YEARLING CORPS88 The H O W I T Z E R and wouldn’t we have made a better lawyer or a doctor anyway? These were the birds of ill-omen that came and perched on our downy couches. But they could not drive from us our too constant friend, the slumber god. Just as we began to feel that we were to perish in this desert of routine, there burst before our view that most charming and soothing of all oases- Furlough. We leave this to those who remember it more distinctly, for to us it is a lovely dream, and we hardly know whether her eyes were blue or brown. n i'm »•! ii v m r ! n u m r ! R K : A K I N n V I A I I.NIi fANIP And here we can not let slip an opportunity to record the fact that many of our n um h e r have found solace for their sorrow in the kind and tender sympathy and admiration of those fair creatures of femininity who flourish so well in this environment of goldR r. C R r. A T I O N lace and brass buttons. Dame Rumor is busy and says that perhaps some of us may do rash things before long. It is even said, but not proved as an historical fact, that John Hammond has ordered two rings, one size five and one-half, and the other eleven. But after the first downfall and disappointment of our hopes, after the rash conclusion that being a soldier hoy is not so fine, we have finally settled down to the saner belief that there is much of solid worth in our life and training here. With First Class camp we begin to look around and appreciate that there are many things for us to he interested in and admire, despite the double-time and our corking singing-school. Our blood stirs with enthusiasm and desire to do great things. Such noble sacrifices as that of BennyAUGUST 28 1 9 ° 3 The H O W I T Z E R 91 Feild, when he quit spooning for two minutes to save a drowning man, shall not go unrewarded. With hirst Class year comes more responsibility, more work, perhaps, but with it all that intense feeling of satisfaction which comes to the man whose God-given poweis are put to their destined use. We begin to feel that this is not such a bad place after all, and that we can wait for Graduation. The drills, hops, trips, guard-tours, cons, tenths, femmes, L. P.’s and lectures dog our tracks, or we dog theirs, just as in the days of old, and we are dazzled by them completely. ph 11.” Hut as we prepare to emerge from this fiery furnace of preparation we feel that after all, the foundations of our training are as strong as the rocks of these historic hills. Our hearts swell with honest pride for the class of 1905. We believe that we have developed, mentally, morally and physically. Who in the annals of history can point to a tenth-gathering mentality so thoroughly developed as that of Roger G. Powell ? Have we not as few men in the goats as any other class whose name is handed down by Fame? In all seriousness we doff our hats to the men who have stood for the right and held the moral ethics of the corps to that high standard from which God forfcnd they may ever fall.S M O K K DUSTFour times have we seen the Navy drain the dregs from the cup of defeat on Franklin Field. Not satisfied with winning the tennis championship in singles and doubles, 1905 also captured the consolation. We have a record in the annual out-door meets that has never been surpassed and only once been equalled, and, it our expectations are fulfilled, will be unequalled in the history of the Academy. In football, baseball, golf, polo, hockey, and all forms of sport, 1905 has stood with the foremost. With pride and love for our class and the corps we feel that our career here has marked an epoch of tremendous importance in our history. GRADUATION'-1 V 'V Class PROPHEC 119©5 ONCE upon a time I was sitting of a winter’s evening in my room on the fourth floor of the eighth division, thinking of many things and particularly of the long time that was left until tattoo, when, without my knowing it, 1 fell into a nodding doze, passing almost immediately into a heavier sleep. I was awakened by a touch on my arm, and, looking to see who had touched me, I was surprised to find standing beside me a wizened old man with white flowing hair and heard. He looked at me sharply and uttered the one word, “Come.” He turned to leave the room and, impelled by some strange power, I rose and followed him. He led me to the ladder in the hall that leads to the attic; up this we went and on into the old garret. Entering the room in the tower, the little old man produced a telescope as old and worn as himself. With this he mounted the ladder to the roof and took up his position on the top of the tower of barracks. Turning to me he gave me the telescope saying, “Take this glass and look to the west.” I did as he hade me and saw with amazement that this glass was not such a one as 1 had studied about, hut with magic that defied science95 The HOWITZER ir made all distance finite—it brought everything from West Point to the Pacific under my eye. The old man’s voice came to me, “ Direct your telescope to the left of the Great Salt Lake; what do you see ?” I did as I was hid and saw a large,colonial-looking mansion inthe grounds surrounding which were many women in sundry states of movement or repose. My attention, however, was caught by a movement at a window of the second story a head was thrust out and I saw a face which I recognized as that of my old friend Bishop of my school days. I heard him say, “What did Daddy want to go off to the wars for and leave me all alone here with all these wives ?” So Bishop and Gibson were Mormons. I never should have expected it. “Traverse left,” the old man ordered. As I moved the glass it was as if the whole country passed in review before me; and as I came to the city of Washington the old man called out, “ Halt.” The first thing that caught my eye here was a scene in the house of one of the greatest generals of our army. It was in the nursery. Seated on the floor in a semi-circle were half a dozen children deeply interested in a story a staff officer was telling. I heard his words, “‘I low would you like to be treated ?’ asked Alexander. ‘Like a king,’ replied Porus. Now this so pleased Alexander—” “ Dusenbury!” I cried. “Look at the Capitol,” said the old man. I looked, and saw in the anteroom of the President’s office men of importance from many countries awaiting audience. In the President’s inner office I saw that official working away at matters too vast for me to understand. As I looked he raised bis head and I recognized Dick Bain, the old man of “F” Company.96 The HOWITZER “ Look away to the south.” I heard the old man’s voice as in a dream. I looked, and saw, and was held by the scene. There was red war in Argentina. The United States army was there in force; I saw the armies struggling on a held that was strewn with dead and dying. On a commanding position in rear of the American army I saw the commander-in-chief in whom I recognized Tipton; he was sending orders continually. I heard him say to one of his aides, “Captain, tell Colonel Pridgen to move his sharpshooters against the battery on the enemy’s right to another he said, “ Have General Barzynski move his brigade forward.” On the bring line I saw many of my former classmates—Ma-gruder, talking excitedly; Clark, P. H., also talking; Williams, B. H., was instructing men how to pull the trigger; Osborne was saluting the air and practicing the “about face”; Reisinger was creeping along the line, watching the effect of hre, and encouraging his men. I saw Barzynski’s command charge, and in front of the charging line rode Motlow, Bamford and Talbot, whom I had known at West Point. The army was ill-supplied with clothes, and marks of hardship were on all the men. Even the men with the wagons fared no better. In rear of the fighting I saw a wagon train camped. In charge of if was a man—evidently an officer by his air. lie wore a single long white garment that flowed around his ankles, and on his head was a tall silk hat. He was remarking, “The pursuits of war are more glorious than the pursuits of peace,” and by the profundity of his remark I knew that I was looking at none other than Daddy Gibson, the man who left Bishop and the forty wives. The pursuits of peace, indeed!The H () VV I '1' Z E R 97 At this point my companion ordered me to turn my instrument on tlic post of West Point. There I saw several of 905. Bankhead was Superintendent, Starkey was Commandant, Lentz was Senior Cavalry Instructor, Ward held command of the light battery, Jones was a modern Koko, Hanford was canteen officer, and Miles held Lieutenant Koehler’s position. Among the professors I saw Kean in the Department of Law, Bartlett in the Department of Mathematics, Eddy in the Department of Music, and Merchant in the Department of Philosophy. I he light faded from the field of view of the glass and I fell to the roof; but the old man gave me a draught of an amber-colored liquid called “() be joyful,” and I rose to sweep the whole world with the telescope under the guidance of the gray-beard. I le showed me how Graves, fretting at the restrictions of the army, is one of the Sultan’s attendants; Barber creditably discharges the duties of Chief of Canteens, Grubbs is a chaplain, McKinlay is Chief of Artillery, Burgin is Chief Electrician of the army, Ramsey is Chief of Ordnance, Lund is at the head of the Torpedo Corps, while Powell and Case are detectives in civil life. Y ilby is a novelist, Roemer an architect, and Maddox a civil engineer. Ben Feild I see a captain, wheeling a baby carriage and spooning Mrs. Feild. And so on the old man showed me all the class, none altogether failures, nearly all successes; choosing callings sometimes unusual, though the major part of the class still grace the service, devoting dignified, honorable, useful lives to the greatest nation in the world our own United States. And some, the old man told me for here the glass fell short have passed on to their reward where—The H () W I T Z E R 98 “On Fame's eternal camping ground Their silent tints are spread. And glory guards with solemn round The bivouac of the dead.” The old man points me to the Land of Nod, and ns I sleep he takes me to my chair, and, awaking a moment later, 1 hear the first mellow note of tattoo as it floats across the silent plain. TIIE 0 O I. O K S barpcbootcre Walter K. Pridgen Wii.i.iam H. Dodds, Jr. Robert II. Lewis Rou.and W. Case Adei.no Gibson Benjamin H. L. Williams George K. Waugii Krnest Graves Felix W. Moi low De Witt C. Jones Alvin B. Barber George R. Rogers Thomas II. Lowe ittarbtfmrn William S. Weeks Berkeley T. Merchant William C. Miller John N. Hodges Roger (i. Powell Charles K. Bameord John De B. W. Gardiner Sidney II. (Uthrie23onrb of Editors. 1905 Conor-in Chin' Francis H. Wjlby Associate Conors Ai.vin U. Barber Norman F. Ramsey flrt COitors William F. Kndress Robert II. Lewis liitcran.i Conors (Ieorge W. Maddox Berkeley T. Merchant Ali.kn W. Guli.ion Class Conors Ciiari.es S. Donavin Douglas I. McKay Corps COitor Patrick II. Winston AcaDrnuc COitor William II. Dodds, Jr. Athletic Conor Charles I). Daly "CrmO" COitors Louis A. O’Donnell Karl I). Ki.kmm business .manager Dk Witt C. T. Grubbs UepresentatiUrs from ,$ cconO Class James J. Loving Edmund L. Daley9° " A O S S V 'I 3Color Crimson hop ittanagrrc Henry Walter 'Fornf.y James Wilson Riley George F.ngelman 'Furner Frederick Blundon Downing Richard Coke Burleson Frederick 'Fhibaut Dickman tblrtic Lxrprrorntatior Harold Storrs Hetrick Abraham, Clyde Rush Andrews, Frank Maxwri.i Ardery, Edward Dahl Bartlett, George Gordon . Bradshaw, Jamf.s Sy»:r BRF.Tr, Morgan Lewis . Burleson, Richard Coki Byrd, Gf.orgk Rivers . Campbell, Robert Nelson Chaffer, Adna Romania, Jr. Clagett, Henry Black Converse, George I.eroy, Jr. Cook, Frf.d Alden Daley, Edmund Leo Davenport. Calvert I.loyd De Armond, George Williamson Green, Joseph Andrew Henderson, John Cleves Hetrick, Harold Stores Horsfall, Lloyd Patzi-AFE . Hoyle, Rene Edward De Russy Humphreys, Frf.dric Erastus Huntley, Harold Wood Jacob, Richard Herbert Johnson, Wii i iam Albert Jones, Ralph Allen Kieffer, Pierre Victor King, Joseph Choate . Lane, William Edward, Jr. . Mount Pleasant, Pennsylvania . . Nashville, Tennessee Virginia City, Nevada New York, New York . . Superior, Wisconsin , . Cleveland, Ohio . . San Sabo, Texas , . Winchester, Virginia . . Johnson City, Tennessee Washington, District of Columbia . . New Y’ork, New York . . Columbus, Ohio Post Mills, Vermont . . Worcester, Massachusetts . . Augusta, Georgia . . Butler, Missouri Washington, District of Columbia . . Zanesville, Ohio Fredericksburg, Virginia . . Corsicana, Texas . . Huntsville, Texas . West Point, Mississippi Frottburg, Maryland . . Gaines, Michigan . . Cherokee, Iowa . . Newport, Rhode Island . . Norwich, Connecticut . Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin Washington, District of Columbia . . New York, New York . . Oneida, New Y’ork . . Waukesha, Wisconsin . . Rochester, New York . Jamestown, New Y'ork Philadelphia, Pennsylvania . . Muscatine, Iowa Peekskill, New York Diukman, Frederick Thibaut Donahue, Walter Edward . Downing, Frederick Blvndos Kiser, Max Akin Finch, Henry Abercrombie . Fox, Hally .... Gatewood, Charles Bhaek . Gillespie, Alexander Garfield1 °5 The H O W I T Z E R Lewis, Charles Alexander . I.oughry, Howard Kendali Loving, James Joseph vs MacMillan, William Torbert Madigan, Matt Enright Manchester, Paul Revere . Mathews, Philip . Maul, John Conrad McFarland, Earl Mettler, Charles Gearhart Minick, Arthur Dean . Morrow, Geor .e Milrurn, Jr. Olmstead, Dawson Paine, George Harris . Parker, Cortlandt Pe.i.ot, Joseph Halley . Pennell, Ralph McTyeire . Pratt, John Sedgwick . UEKEMEYER, JOHN GEORGE . Riley, James Wilson . Robinson, Donald Allister Rockwell, Charles Kellogg Rose, William Watts . Schultz, Hugo Daniel . Schware, Harry Albert Siiute, Martyn Hall . Smith, Edwin De Land Sneed, Byard Spurcin, Horace Fletcher . Sturgill, Walter Stephen Thompson, Marcellus Hagans Torney, Henry Walter Turner, George Kngelman . Wainwright, Jonathan Mayhew Waring, Roy F. Westover, Oscar White, Robert Culin . Wildrick, Edward White Wilhelm, Walter Marantktte Williford, Forrest Estey . Zimmerman, Harry Dale Ross . . Newburg, Indiana . . Monticello, Indiana . . Pin Bluff, Arkansas . Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Frankfort, Kentucky Paulct, Vermont New York, New York . Buffalo, New York . . Topeka, Kansas . Klines Grove, Pennsylvania . . Wichita, Kansas . . Birmingham, Alabama . . Cony, Pennsylvania Scranton, Pennsylvania Washington, District of Columbia . . Blackburn, Missouri . . Belton, South Carolina . . San Francisco, California . . Yazoo City, Mississippi . . Bamberg, South Carolina . . Seattle, Washington . Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Philadelphia, Pennsylvania . . Beatrice, Nebraska . Charlestown, West Virginia . . Ellsworth, Maine . . Pontiac, Michigan . . McLeansboro, Illinois Washington, District of Columbia . . Sturgill, North Carolina . Springfield, Massachusetts . San Francisco, California . . St. Louis, Missouri . . Chicago, Illinois . . Omaha, Nebraska . West Bay City, Michigan . . Charlestown, Missouri . . Blairstown, New Jersey . . Defiance, Ohio . . Hillsboro, Illinois . Colorado Springs, ColoradoSECOND CLASS THIS is a plain, unadorned recital of the deeds and misdeeds of the class of 1906, I . S. M. A., during the current year. At West Point we live minutes, not hours; days, not years. Let this then he our excuse for presenting each year a tale of the past twelvemonth under the name of History. Any history of any Second Class must begin with Furlough. This was “the star to which we hitched our wagons” during the weary struggle with yearling Math. We doubt whether even (iradu-ation Day can he welcomed more heartily than was the fifteenth of | tine, 1904. It was a happy crowd of rather good looking “cits” (so we thought) that hoarded the train for New York that June afternoon. There were all kinds of outfits, hut each Furloughman wore an angelic smile that beamed on everybody with “peace on earth, good will to men.” P. S.—“Phil.” Mathews wore also a swagger-stick and a monocle. The minute we reached New York we bought the town. Our fathers are still paying the hills. We rook enough time from our purchase to enjoy a “lovely spread” at the Murray Hill. I lie aff air was not of the W. C. T. I . order by a great deal, but no harm was done, for everybody made speeches to which nobody listened, and Furlough was unanimously voted the best thing ever.The H () W I T Z E R 107 The next morning we started each for his own little hamlet where She awaited him—‘‘The Furlough Girl.” Even Hally Fox, pessimist and woman-hater, found his fate in one fair charmer, while “ Hobby” Campbell stopped at the twenty-fourth. N. B.—“Bobbie” stopped at the twenty-fourth because Furlough stopped about that time. What a history might be written if we knew each Furloughman’s cherished secret; the tragedy and the comedy of it all! “Hurley” decided on Furlough that “for better or for worse” he would never drink anything stronger than orangeade. “Nutz” Waring came to the decision that for one so young as he, cigarette smoking was injurious. But if I were to go on, I would hut call the roll of the class. The question in each case is, “Who was the girl?” Hut FURLOUGH BANQUET, JUNK 15, I9O4The HOWIT Z E R t ii r. tortudi: cHAVir.ii ir is a riling too wonderful for me to understand, “the way of a man with a maid.” August twenty-eighth rolled around. We came back. “NufF said.” In the Fall studies were resumed. I should say, hooks were issued, lessons assigned, and She was dreamed of. To the mercies of the “ Chem.” and “ Phil.” Departments we were consigned. Who would dare attempt to describe the gyratory motion of a Second Classman’s gray-matter as he made vain efforts to get a clear “physical conception” of the beautiful relation between the hodograph and its curve, which we were informed was “ just as easv as looking • • • J i « J m a sweet girl’s eyes and telling whether she loved you or nor. It was just about as easv.The H () W I T Z E R 109 But studies did not attract our entire attention during the year. Football, basketball and fencing found in the class of 1906 some of 1 he best material for their successful seasons. “Willie” Rose tried athletics. He challenged the (). C. to a foot race one dark night after taps. The O. C. accepted the challenge. “Willie” ran. The O. C. “also ran ” “Willie” went to bed. The (). C. went to bed—to “Willie’s” bed and found “Willie” there with his clothes on. A week later “Willie” walked. To the Fiist Class that is about to go, we wish a hearty Godspeed. I he relations between the two classes have been most cordial. It is our expectation that we may fill their places as well as they have done; it is our hope that we do it even better, so that in honoring ourselves we may honor our class, 1906. riii oni r Kir v •»Color Maroon Jtblrtic Urpmsrntatitor Bknjamin I ki dkkic CasiliAlexander, Percy Alexander, Roger Gordon . Arnold, Henry Harley Arthur, Robert .... Bane, Thurman Harrison Bartlett, Geoffrey Beavers, George Washington, Jr. Boone, Abbott .... Booth, Lucies Dent Bltti.er, Bruce Bradford . Calvo, Arthur Robert Castle, Benjamin Frederic Chandler, Clark Porter Cheney, Robert Mercer Chilton, Alexander Wheelf.k Christy, William Carroll . Clark, Brucf. F.dmund Coleman, Fred Hughes Coles, Thomas Lee Collins, James Lawton Crafton, Denham Boiiakt Cruse, Frf.d Taylor Dailey, George Frederick Ney . Dawson, Wiley Evans . Doak,Sloan .... Drain, Jesse Cyrus Dusenbury, Ralph Waynf. . Eastman, Clyde Leslie Everett, George Thomas Faris, Melvin Guy Harwell, George Wells Gallogly, James Arthur Ganoe, William Addleman Garrison, David Grover Cleveland Garrison, William Henry, Jr. Geary, William Ducaciiet . Gillespie. Harry Stevens . Shreveport, Louisiana . Paris, Missouri . Ardmore, Pennsylvania . Webster, South Dakota San Francisco, California Brookline, Massachusetts . Brooklyn, New York . Tyler, Texas Aberdeen, Mississippi . New York, New York Costa Rica . Milwaukee, Wisconsin Concord, New Hampshire . Athens, Georgia . Frazer, Minnesota Phoenix, Arizona Pontiac, Illinois . Camden, Arkansas . Cottonville, Alabama . New Orleans, Louisiana . Plattsburg, Missouri . St. Louis, Missouri . Council Bluffs, Iowa Portsmouth, Ohio Taylor, Texas Brad dock, Pennsylvania Mount Pleasant, Michigan Vancouver Barracks, Washington I.aurinhurg, North Carolina . Barnsville, Alabama . Seattle, Washington . Eugene, Oregon Jersey Shore, Pennsylvania . Centralia, Illinois . Brooklyn, New York . San Francisco, California . Detroit, MichiganThe H C) W I T Z E R Glassburn, Rorkrt Prick Greene, Royal Kemp . Greer, Lewis Vance Gutensoiin, Alvin Gustav . Hamilton, Hal Andrew Hand, Eli.wood Stokes Hanson, Arthur William Harris, Charles Tillman, Jr. Harrison, George Richard Hayden, Herbert Henry, William Rudicil Hill, Ray Corson Hoiaiiird, John Augur Horton, Paul Jones Householder, F.ugene Ross Howard, Nathaniel I.amson Humphrey, Gilbert Edwin . James Stanley Livingston . Jenkins, John Logan . Keeler, John Patrick . Kimball, Richard Huntington Lang, John Walton Larned, Paul Alexander Laurach, James Howard Lewis, Evan Eiias Lott, Warren, Jr. Lot nsbury, Robert Lee Maish, Alexander William Marley, James Preston Martin, William Logan, Jr. McCaughey, William Jackson McChord, William Caldwell, Jr. Me Lac ii lan, Donald James McNeil, Edwin Colyer Miller, Fauntley Musk Moose, William Lewis, Jr. . Morrison, William Eric Morrissey, Patrick Joseph . Mosr.s, Ealy Johnson. Jr. Murray, Maxwell O’Connor, James Alexander Palmer, Irving John . Park, Richard Patten, George Frances Peril, Harry . . Chicago, Illinois St. Charles, Missouri . . Beaumont, Texas . . Gnailhutten, Ohio . . San Angelo, Texas West Cape May, New Jersey Forest City, Iowa Mcxia, Texas Columbia City, Indiana Washington, District of Columbia . . Rome, Georgia . . Toledo, Ohio . . Evanston, Illinois . . Winder, Georgia . Delaware City, Delaware Fairfield, Iowa El Reno, Oklahoma Territory . . Allegheny, Pennsylvania Morgantown, West Virginia . . Maryville, Missouri . . Meridian, Texas . Pass Christian, Mississippi . . West Point, New York Northampton, Pennsylvania . Worthing, South Dakota . . Waycross, Georgia . . Weston, Ohio Washington, District of Columbia . . Slavdcn,Texas Montgomery, Alabama . . Macomb, Illinois Lebanon, Kentucky . . Pasadena, California . Alexandria, Minnesota . Coal Valley, Pennsylvania . . Morrillton, Arkansas . . Brooklyn, New York . . Boston, Massachusetts . . Burnet, Texas Willets Point, New York . . Seney, Michigan . . Kalamazoo, Michigan . . Warren, New Hampshire . . San Francisco, California . . Baltimore, MarylandThe II C) W I T Z E R i 14 Pierson, Earn. Pehr Porter, Hunter Ball Potter, Waldo Charles Pritchett, Edwin Eastman . Rice, Charles Henry . Rick, Elmer Franklin . Korins, Augustine Warner . Rockwkll, I.kwis Cassidy Rogers, Charles Dunbar Rookrs, Natiianiu Pkndlkton, Jr. R»sr., John BouRsiqi'OT Rutiikrkord, Harry Kenktii Santsciii, Eugene, Jr. Scofikld, Sktii William Selrie, William Emot . Siiedd, William Edgar, Jr. Snyder, Frederick Story Somers, Richard Herbert Spencer, Thomas Charles . Staver, Roy Bogc.ess . Stee.se, James Gordon Sullivan, John Stephen Sultan, Daniel Isom Taylor, James Gilbert Teall, Edward Hall Thorpe, Truman Darby Wadsworth, LklaND, Jr. Wagner, Hayden Waite Watkins, Lewis Hayes Watson, Henry Lee Wheeler, Walter Raymond White, Charles Henry Wilde, John Walter . Wilder, Throop Martin Wood, Oliver Setii Wyman, Charles Lloyd Yount, Barton Kyle . Princeton, Illinois Portsmouth, Virginia Cassellown, North Dakota . Boston, Massachusetts . Laramie, Wyoming . Fargo, North Dakota Richmond, Virginia . Glendale, Ohio . Seneca Falls, New York . Plainfield, New Jersey . Warrentown, Virginia . Waddington, New York . Salt Lake City, Utah . Stamford, Connecticut Dead wood. South Dakota . Danville, Illinois . Elmhurst, New York Monroeville, New Jersey . Wewahitchka, Florida . Chicago, Illinois Harrisburg, Pennsylvania . Lake Charles, Louisiana . Oxford, Mississippi . Bellfonte, Pennsylvania . Little Falls, New York . Sacramento, California . Amsterdam, New York . De Kalb, Illinois . Franklin, Tennessee . New York, New York . Oswego, New York . Taunton, Massachusetts . Hazleton, Pennsylvania . Auburn, New York . Fort Smith, Arkansas , Painesville, Ohio , Troy, OhioYEARLING ORY JUNK 20th Well, we have been yearlings for several days now and are getting a little used to it. It was a year of hard, hard work, hut everybody forgot it in the handshake and grasp of fellowship on Graduation Day. What a glorious day it was, marking ;i great epoch in the history of our class; in fact a complete metamorphosis. It is surprising what fine butterflies some of our plebe caterpillars have blossomed out into in such a few days. At the graduation hop, our official debut into the social life of West Point, we experienced all the pleasures of a first hop, except that we confined ourselves to lemonade after seeing the upperclassmen ear everything else up before our turn came. But the day passed, and the next saw the moving to camp. Contrary to even-expectation and precedent it did not rain, and Camp Forse was pitched with appropriate ceremony and no mishaps. The new plebes came in the day we moved, and some of our classmates helped to receive them with fitting ceremonies, and to give them a cordial, at least warm, reception, though for several reasons some little derails of former occasions were abridged and others omitted altogether. June 25th Have consented to assist in the education and proper bringing up of the new plebes, but find it more work and less funThe H C) W I T Z E R i 16 than I expected. It is not very much fun working all day and doubletiming in the hot sun, while the fellows over in camp are deadbeating in the shade or spooning on Flirtation. Orders from headquarters to report the new men and make them buck up, also to teach them how to write explanations, so by long and assiduous use of the quill, reports were found for all save a few, and to keep them from feeling slighted, they were all put in a bunch and reported for swinging arms at some formation. Such a lively and varied lot of explanations as came in! It would have melted a heart of stone, in fact anything but a Commandant ot Cadets, to read the pathetic and heart-rending tales of woe given by some in extenuation of such heinous offenses as “gazing about in ranks at hath formation.” Rut even such interesting tales lose their charm when there are one hunderd and forty to he corrected. Rut such is life, and the plebe must live and learn. July 4th—1 he grand and glorious fourth has come and gone, leaving about two dozen yearlings with powder-stained white'trousers and ruined white gloves, but with the satisfaction of having participated in firing the midday salute to the honor of their country. I he above-mentioned salute looks and sounds very patriotic to the outsider, but the perspiring cannoneer, double-timing back and forth, frantically grabbing the dirty wheels to assist in moving the piece, ruining his clothes and incidentally his temper, is forcibly reminded of what General Sherman says of war. July 15th- A rainy day in camp and deadbeating for everybody but the luckless yearlings; for them, more work than ever. It’s jump into riding togs immediately after returning from breakfast, march to the riding hall and endure forty minutes of jolting, pounding and jarring until faint, dizzy, with a pain in your side andThe H () W I T Z E R 111 your breakfast in your throat, you stumble out and make room for the next lot of unfortunates. I do not say that a West Point cavalry horse can not do anything but trot, hut he certainly never does. Nothing can exceed him as an instrument of torture, with his rugged hack, his stiff-legged trot, and his gentle bites and loving kicks distributed impartially. Endowed with super-equine intelligence, he seems to scent a yearling from afar and proceeds to run away with him, police him and otherwise maltreat him, or else calmly stops, lies down, and rolls in the ranbark with the most exasparating sang-froid imaginable. Sec this same animal under a First Class-man and he becomes a model of decorum and soldierly conduct. Mis trot is entirely unique, as he seems to have no joints, hut expects his rider to do the bending for both,while in reality the latter’s motion is sufficient but confined wholly to the vertical direction. July 20th—Camp half gone hut no one seems to know where. Evening picnics on the parade (plainly evident next morning before the arrival of the policeman), walks on Flirtation, hops, golf and tennis while away the leisure hours. The P. M. E. squads have ottered their services to the government and are engaged on a map of the post for the contemplated improvements. While occasionally some startling figures are inserted in the maps (and afterwards changed by the instructors), the work is very satisfactory. At target practice the course is very interesting and instructive, and with a few more days in the hurts marking for the First Classmen, 1907 will he able to turn out many sharpshooters. August 1st—Another rainy day. After fourteen orders, each one contradicting the last and all demonstrating the height of military precision, accuracy and despatch, which characterizes the fountainThe HOWITZER i 18 ° military efficiency in our devoted country, and after some exciting and highly-flavored repartee between the “ l acs” on the target range—we were permitted to deadbeat—Ai! Ai! August 5th At bracing drill for yearlings—“At that schooner!” (the Mary Powell) “Home! Ram!” Ien seconds later, “Did you see the splash ?” August 7th—Cadet Teall meets his fate “Dorris”—the only one. lie did not lose his heart, and, having no seat to lose, he lost, quoting Robert Louis Stevenson, “the epidermis from the aristocratic portion of his being upon which lie sat at intervals.” Note—“Dorris” is a cavalry horse. August 20th A calm and gentle summer night. All nature is asleep (even the men on guard, for the (). I), has turned in) and solemn stillness reigns. Suddenly a despairing shriek as of a lost soul floats on the night air, and dim spectres glide stealthily and noiselessly through the “ K ” Company catacombs and are swallowed up in the darkness. Soon another cry is heard, this time in “A” Company, and ere the tower clock has chimed the midnight hour a dozen yearlings rudely awakened from blissful dreams of home and furlough have experienced the horrible nightmare of being dragged, and waking up in the company street, have gone to swell the numbers of the midnight marauders and seek some luckless victim in their turn. Bur now with noiseless step and only a slight clanking of his trusty Lxcalibur, a dim form looms out of the darkness, and bending over the prostrate form of a “D” Company victim (too deeply embraced in the arms of Morpheus to he awakened hv a mere dragging) says to the awakening yearling, “You vant to vake up and go to sleep. ’The H O W I T Z E R 111 September 1st Back in barracks again, and that enormous pile of text-books on the table to remind one of the grind tobe resumed tomorrow. Camp ended up in a blaze of glory, for did we not have six whole days and nights of strictly yearling camp, and three hops where a yearling was lord of all he surveyed and spooned the First Classmen’s girls with great ardor. While the battalion was small, everyone says the parades were the best of the summer, and how could they have been otherwise ? But alas, the First Classmen came back,and a few days later the furloughmen,and we are now reminded more forcibly than ever of the single band of braid on our coat sleeve. October 1st I feel like a thief to steal this time, for with Descriptive Geometry, Conics, French, Drawing and drills, a yearling indeed realizes that an hour is made of sixty golden minutes. Yearlings think Descrip., dream it, talk it, make figures in the dust while at rest in ranks, draw cones on the tablecloth at dinner, pass planes through their napkin rings, and in fact live in a world by themselves, a world of Descrip. You can tell a Descrip, fiend by the glitter in his eye, and like the Ancient Mariner he seeks some sympathetic spirit in whose kindly ear he may confide the problems gnawing at his heart. Stranger, beware. November ist—Alas, once more we resume our acquaintance with the four-footed king of the riding hall and find him full of new tricks and schemes to harass, torment and physically discomfort his acknowledged prey. The effects are easily apparent in the slow and labored gait of all yearlings, and the marked increase in the size of the sick squads each morning, only too painfully bears witness to his success. How delightful it is to return in the afternoon fromI 20 ‘7he H () W I T E R riding, stiff and sore from head to foot, and the next night go to a hop and try to dance easily and gracefully. And we have Descrip., like the poor, always with us. We were also introduced a few days ago to General Belknap. Needless to say the house burned down, hut later a fine stream of water was turned on the ruins. December ist—Oh, the horrors of yearling writs! Those periods of torture in the examination room, where after vain wringing of the brain and search for forgotten methods, you see the time pass swiftly by while you sir and gaze first at the board, then at your empty paper and indulge inwardly in language not to he printed. When after coming in with a heart full of hope, a brain full of eighteen hours’ honing, and expectations of making a little pro, you pass de jectedly into the next room, see the instructor demonstrate how easy the problems are (and conversely your own stupidity), and then pass out the tower door with five tenths on the book to your credit (for writing your name), and visions of a sad Christmas home-going in your cold, stony heart. Sleep! about two or three hours a night and an occasional nap in the French section room, hut no more. And then to he turned out for the examination with nearly half the class at the joyous Christmas season. He is indeed a daring yearling and with much pro to his credit who defies the cold glances of the Math, instructors and ventures to go to a hop for a few minutes on the urgent desire and imperative command of his most adored one. January ist Well, Christmas holidays are nearly over and boning soon to begin again. Some yawning gaps in our ranks bear silent testimony to the effects of our recent struggle with the Math. Department, but with Calculus as the fighting ground for the rest of the year there is hope for all who remain. Along with the vast ma-The H O W I T Z E R 1 2 1 joritv of yearlings I did not care for a Christmas leave. After the Cadet officers, l acs, and Cadet store had all done their worst, there were indeed few remaining intact, hut nevertheless a few dis-oids managed to get them and report a very fine time. The rest of us remained at West Point, took dinner in the mess hall, and with skating and coasting have managed to while away the time somehow. March 1st Everybody boning hard but looking forward with great anticipation to the trip to Washington to help the President get inaugurated. March 3rd After being safely ensconced in our train “entrained" we were solemnly cautioned not to use any expletive stronger than “Oh, Spludge”—the limit at the Castle and most other schools for very young girls,—not to unbutton our blouses, etc. We arrived safely at Washington. March 5th Of course the President couldn’t have been safely inaugurated without us, and the moral responsibility which we felt was exceeded only by our splendid appearance. The occasional query in a subdued voice by some civilian seeing a group of us without arms, “Is-er-there going to be some music?” or the common one, “Say, mister, will you tell me where to find the B-building?” or “Mere, boy, take this message to the nearest office at once don’t mind the change”—etc., ad infinitum—could not spoil our joy at giving the good people of Washington a rare treat in the line of a military parade. How much nicer it would have been had we been officers of the First Class we could only dream. Later. The Inauguration Ball. I low delightful to indulge in the languishing Tcrpsichorean maze after that twenty-mile march.1 22 The IIOWIT' E R The Spartan temper of flu class is well shown in the following incident. Dramatis Persona Miss L. P. a willowy, ethereal dream weighing about three hundred and fifty dressed “Ah, so stupid of me to step on your toe, Mr. B.; isn’t it awfully painfulr “Not at all. Miss L. P., that toe is tough.” April isr O the joy of ye yearling spring! Just at the rime when the subtle influence of the springtime steals into a person’s being, bringing that irresistible tendency to rest and deadbeat, it is necessary to brace down by the classic Hudson, run and chase the elusive 2-inch gun around the cavalry plain and then he expected to stay awake after supper and hone. In the language of Plupy Shure, “brite and fare,” wrestled with my map of the post, all the afternoon, but with no success-When you start to pace from the chapel to the south gate and get up in the hundreds, you see the Mary Powell, meet Miss Ducrot, or get into a furlough pipe and lose count. After repeated attempts with no better results, you finally guess at it. Later you hud a cool, shady spot and, overcome by that tired feeling and general disinclination to work, sink down to rest, until you see the scouts of the department coming in the distance, the chief on foot, his junior assistant on horseback, and his senior in his automobile. A great incentive to work is that prospect of an invitation to take the department’s special August course for goats. April 15th I might force myself to write of something else, hut to what end, when we are ail talking, thinking, and dreaming of furlough ? Already the warm spring evenings are filled with the harmony of furlough songs wafted from the grim old battery whereThe H () W I T Z E K 1 2 3 kindred minds and homesick hearts meet and mingle in the magic sympathy of piping about furlough. In a very short time now we shall put up our hooks, don our cits, and, bidding goodbye to West Point for a season, scatter to the four winds of the earth to he welcomed bv parents, f riends and sweethearts, and taste the joys of freedom. Death to the man who mentions the twenty-eighth of J P August ere that time comes hut when it does may we all meet again better prepared by the vacation and pleasures of the summer to do our coming work to the honor of West Point and ’07. THE YCARLIKii'S I K K A D I ECLASS OF 1908 knold Gordon Miiviiii Atkisson, Eari. James . Avery, Ray l.nNtrmimv Ayres, Henry Fairfax . Hah i v. Auard Hyde Haiku, Clair Warren Baker, Lester David . Barker, Frederick Ambrose Bkere, Robert Morrison Bell, John Henry Bonesteel, Charles Hartwu i Bouton, Arthur Edward Howes, Gcoroi Clevelasd Braver, Fredekii k Robert Brows, John Kimkai.i Bi vkner, Simon Bolivar, |r. Burns, James Henry Carroll, Phiiip Henke Chaney, James Euc-eni Chapman, Carleton Georoi Coiner, Richard Tide Cotton, Robert Christie Cot iter, Haivor Gek.i s Ckea, Harry Bowers . Cui.i.um, Ernest Grove Cummins, Richard Eieoar Ccn.mnc.ham, James Hutchini.s Curry, John Francis . Cutrer, Emii e Victor . Davis, Ri ssr.n. Haven Deans, Allison Barnes, Jr. . Desobrv, Elmer Ccthrert . Dickinson, Oliver Andrews Dixon, Bi aine Andrew Donovan, Richard Dou herty, L01 is Roberts . l)o r.iiERTY, Robert Starrs Ai.ovsh■' Chicago, Illinois . Fowler, California Manchester, New Hampshire Jefferson Barracks, Missouri Benton Harbor, Michigan Punxsutawnry, Pennsylvania Bridgeport, Connecticut Astoria, Oregon Denver, Colorado Muskegon, Michigan Plattshurg, New York Trumanshurg, New York Columbia, South Carolina Baltimore, Maryland Jackson, Minnesota Rio, Kentucky Pawling, New York Grand Rapids, Michigan Chaney, Maryland Macon, Georgia Tacoma, Washington . Quincy, Missouri Ogden, Utah Decatur, Illinois Athens, Ohio . Glendive, Montana Gloucester, Massachusetts . New York, New York . Clarksd.de, Mississippi Saint Peter, Minnesota Wilson, North Carolina . Plaquemine, Louisiana Springfield, Massachusetts . Whitewater, Wisconsin Paducah, Kentucky Governors Island, New York . San Francisco, CaliforniaThe HOWITZER DrENNAN, LEONARD H. . Diins, Wii.uam Eugeni Eastman, Harry Camprii.i Edgerton, Glen Edgar Ellis, Oi.in Oglesby Elting, Stewart Oscar Erwin, William Walter Everts, Edward Aloysius Fit . Maurice, William Jay Fletcher, Kouert Howe, Jr. Garky, Enoch Barton Geiger, Harold . Glover, George Barrett, Jr. Goethals, George Rodman . Gordon, Philip Gottschalk, Tei.esphor George Grisell, Elbert Lynn . Groninger, Homer McLavgiilin Hackett, Charles Ford, Jr. Hall, Charles Lacy Hall, Henry Wallace Hanlon, Arthur James Hartman, Charles Dudley Haworth, George Dewey Hayes, Edward Seery . Hazlehurst, Leighton Wilson, Jr Hester, John Hutchison Hick an, Horace Meek Higley, Harvey Douglas Hill, Roy Alison Hobley, Alfred Harold Hodges, Courtney Hicks Hughes, Everett Strait Hughes, Tiiruston Jackson, Charles Shattuck Jacobs, West Chute James, Alexander Long, Jr. Jarman,Sandereord Jennings, Robert Eugene Johnson, Thomas Jefferson Jones, John William . Kei.ley, Augustine Bernard Kennedy, Dudley Reid Kennedy, John Thomas Konut, Herman . I 27 Chicago, Illinois Cedar Falls, Iowa Mount Pleasant, Iowa Manhattan, Kansas l-’valdc, Texas Burlington, Vermont Chapman, Kansas San Francisco, California Bucyrus, Ohio San Francisco, California Denton, Maryland East Orange, New Jersey Haddonficld, New Jersey Vineyard Haven,Massachusetts West Point, New York Milwaukee, Wisconsin . Pennville, Indiana Port Royal, Pennsylvania Parker, South Dakota Princeton, New Jersey Huntsville, Alabama Canaan, Connecticut Brookhaven, Mississippi Noblesville, Indiana Watcrbury, Connecticut Memphis, Tennessee . Albany, Georgia . Spencer, Indiana Cedar Rapids, Iowa Lawrence, Kansas New York, New York Perry, Georgia Mankato, Minnesota Louisville, Kentucky Parkersburg, West Virginia Berkeley, California Laurinburg, North Carolina Monroe, Louisiana Rochester, New York Henderson, Kentucky Burlington, Colorado Greensburg, Pennsylvania . Youngstown, Ohio Orangeburg, South Carolina . San Francisco, California128 The H () W I T Z E R Kk Jr- Lamme, Clinton Edwin I.atta, James Douglas Lonergan, Thomas Clement Lou st a lot, Albert Lawrence Lyres, Giiikes Lyon, James Wilbur Marks, Youir Monteeiore Marshall, Gilbert Matile, George Auguste McCaskill, William Cecil McIntosh, Lawrence Wright Meredith, Owen Ralph Miller, Edgar Simpson Moss, Wentworth Harris Moulder, George John Muhlenberg, Henry Clinto Muncaster, John Harold Newman, Richard David N'ulsen, Charles Kilrourne Oakes, Carl Cogswell O'Brien, Robert Emmett Osterhout, George Howard Parrott, Roger Sheffield Patton, George Smith, Jr. Paxton, John Keefer Pendleton, Louis Lindsay Peterson, Virgil Lee . Peyton, John Randolph Pipkin, Philip Haile Prince, Frederick Almyron Putney, Edward Willis Quinn, Joe Gray . Ricker, Lawrence Campbeli Rodgers, Robert Clive Roiiker, Ccy Newton . Sage, William Hampden, Jr. Schulz, John Wesley Niesz Shephard, Chester Amos Shivkrick, Nathan Crarv Slaughter, Homer Havron Smith, Rodney Hiram . Smith, Thomas Jeeferson, Jr. Sneed, Albert Lee Spencer, Theodore Kendai.i Stockton, Howard Alexander, Jr Bozeman, Montana Waco, Texas St. Louis, Missouri Franklin, Louisiana l.ykcslaml, South Carolina Newark, New Jersey . . Boise, Idaho New Orleans, Louisiana Washington, District of Columbia Summersville, Missouri Gardner, Massachusetts O’Neill, Nebraska Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Payette, Idaho Fargo, North Dakota Lancaster, Pennsylvania Charleston, South Carolina New York, New York Greenville, Mississippi Lisbon, New Hampshire Lawrcnceburg, Indiana . Gardiner, Maine Dayton, Ohio San Gabriel, California Walla Walla, Washington Lebanon, Tennessee Campbcllsvillc, Kentucky St. Francis, Florida Farmington, Missouri Galesburg, Illinois Milford, Connecticut Little Rock, Arkansas Cherry field, Maine Washington, Pennsylvania Klkhart, Indiana Boston, Massachusetts Wheeling, West Virginia Duluth, Minnesota Omaha, Nebraska Hickmans Mills, Missouri Jamestown, New York Bowling Green, Kentucky Fayetteville, Arkansas Chelsea, Massachusetts Philadelphia, PennsylvaniaThe H O W I T Z E R Sturdivant, Clarence I.ynn Sumner, Edwin Vosr. Sward, Francis Jones I.udwick Terry, Thomas Alexander . Tii.i.son, John Charles Fremont, Jr. Van Kei-ren, Charles Harding . Waldron, Arthur Wilson Weathers, Lrland Stanford Weaver, Harry Griffith Weaver, Walter Reed Weeks, Henry John Whitaker, William Cooper Whitley, Franklin Langley Wilboi'rn, Arthur Earl Williams, James Clifford Williams, Sumner McBee Willing, Richard Earnest . Wilson, Emmet Cheatham . Woodbury, Edward Nicoll . I 29 Neillsville, Wisconsin Milton, Mass.ichusetts Axtell, Nebraska Abbeville, Alabama Dahlonega, Georgia Wheeling, West Virginia Portland, Maine Rciio, Nevada Chicago, Illinois Governors Island, New York Guthrie Center, Iowa Frederica, Delaware St. Louis, Missouri Islington, Virginia Anniston, Alabama Greenville, South Carolina Ashtabula, Ohio Savannah, Georgia Middleiboro, KentuckyPLEBE HISTORY Wkst Point, April 13, 1905 DKAR OLD CHUM Only forty-seven days rill June. Sometimes when I stop and think (I try never to do so), ir seems to me that our class has been here ar West Point for years. When I do catch myself thinking this I go out on the area with my capes thrown hack. I am speedily convinced that we have been here only a fraction of a year. You have complained to me that I never write you any news or stories of the life here, or of the doings of the class. I ’ll satisfy vour morbid curiosity at once, though it’s nor altogether a pleasant subject. We all (except two or three unfortunate ones who came later) came in on the sixteenth of June, and we have learned to look back on that day as on a nightmare from the effects of which we have not quite recovered. On that first day we learned how absolutely worthless we were, what exceedingly poor figures we had, and we found out even before we reported, that we did not know how to stand up in the most approved fashion. In due time, about three hours, we were comparatively comfortably settled in our rooms. The settling process was a never-to-The H () W I T ' E R be-forgotten experience, and I recommend it to anyone in search of sensations. It is said there are fourteen hundred sensations, and we experienced each and every one except that of rest. At the Cadet Store we were given our furniture and bed clothing, and then we had to run up two or three flights of iron steps with it all. BEAST BARRACK'S a yearling corps or two in fierce pursuit. I remember seeing one man just after he had discovered that he had carried all his stuff up three flights of stairs in the wrong division. His language was a revelation. The mess hall was looked forward to with much joy until dinner, and then we were undeceived. It was there that we learnedThe H C) VV I T Z E R 1 32 what a terrible offense it was to look at a yearling or even to look out of the window, and what an unspeakable crime it was to lean back in our chairs. After two or three days we were drilled and taught to stand up, a thing not nearly so easy to do as you would suppose. Drills and cleaning guns, enforced baths every n’ght and meals in the mess hall with our chins where our backbones originally were, and a short, blissful ten-minutes’ release from quarters in the evening, made up the never-changing program of the day during our three weeks of Beast Barracks. On July e ghth we marched to camp with mingled feelings of fear and joy; joy predominating, however, as we would have left Beast Barracks for any place. Once more we experienced the settling process, but as there were no stairs to run up and fall down, it wasn’t quire as bad as the first time we settled. And then came more cleaning guns and polishing brasses (my brasses were polished so much that they aren’t altogether dull yet), and instead of a few very efficient corps over us to instruct us in the ways in which we should go, every man in the upper classes was a self-appointed mentor and tried in his own way to make us properly retiring and industrious. I can assure you that some of their ways were very convincing. It was in camp also that we experienced that awful thing, “A Buck Tour,” and it’s worse by far than it sounds. One day in each week was devoted by each man to walking up and down on his little part of the boundary of camp in order to protect his comrades— and others (particularly at night)—from the attacks of imaginary hostile patrols, troops of cavalry, batteries of artillery, Queens of■77 ,• H () W I T Z E R ■33 Sheba, and other dangerous persons. It was on these nocturnal rambles that we learned that a man might leave his post for forty paces to prevent a murder, unless he was sure that the murder was committed for the purpose of drawing him from his post of duty. But even Buck fours had their advantages, for on the night a man came off his tour he could go to bed before taps, and he did not have to brace (very hard) while marching to supper. On August 27th we broke camp and came back to barracks, and for the third time we moved into new quarters and settled. Drills DRILL — PLtBr. C A M I and parades still continued, but parades were almost a pleasure when we discovered that our guns and brasses were not inspected before each one. The pleasure caused by this was, however, more than offset by the agony caused by the study of a work written by a certain C. Smith, which book commenced on the first of September. It‘34 The H O W I T Z E R 1 II I (i Y M N A S I I M is said that Mr. Smith, C , went crazv after writing his hook, so f rom September first we have been studying the idiotic gibberish of a man who was at least half a lunatic. I hen came the writs for our general transfer, which caused much gnashing of teeth and made many goats. After the fuss caused by the general transfer writs had subsided, football came along to occupy our thoughts. Of course you know what a season we had, and you can guess that our pleasure was in no wise lessened by the fact that three of our class played on the team. The game at Philadelphia was a fitting wind-up to the season, and we came back to West Point not much the worse for our day’s trip. The football season was hardly over when the December writs were upon us, and there was more weeping and some unwished-forThe H () W I T Z E R '35 leaves were granted. 1 hen the holidays, and after them we had to go right back to honing tenths, just as if nothing had happened. And now, besides studying, we have sometimes to reduce the time until June to hours, minutes and seconds for the benefit of the yearlings, who want to go on furlough in a hurry. This helps to keep us busy. But we are looking forward to June, also, and everybody in the class is waiting with much impatience to hear his name read out on the list of corps. And all but thirty will be disappointed. I suppose you ’ll be here then to see us blossom out into full-fledged yearlings, and help us to celebrate the occasion. (ioodness, gracious! It’s fourjninutcs to taps, and I have my bed to make down. I must stop. As ever, your chum, A. P. J.kbk. T II ACAI) r. M I C It II I I. I I N (iC LUBS ANDCalvin Pearl Titus, 1905 President Oscar WesTOVER, 1906 . . Pice-President Charles Gearhart Metti.er, 1906 . Librarian Clyde Leslie Kastman, 1907 Recording Secretary Throop Martin Wilder, 1907 Corresponding Secretary Cbatrmrn of Committrr Bible Study, Winston Entertainmerit, LDDY IIall, Spaulding Outside Speakers, Barber Membership in Corps—383 Meetings two evenings each week. Bible class enrollment—260. 0birct “To promote growth in grace and Christian fellowship among its members, and aggressive Christian work, especially by and for students; to train them for Christian service; and to lead them in devote their lives to Jesus Christ, not only in distinctiveh religious callings, hut also in secular pursuits.” '38 WHENEVER a number of men are thrown together societies and organizations are bound to spring up, but only the fittest will survive. Several sock ties existed in the Corps even before the Academy had been put on a firm foundation. Among these were numbered the Amosophic Society, founded in 1816, and reorganized as the Philomathean Society six years later. Another, the Ciceronian Society, was formed in 1823. Each of these societies was organized for “improvement in debate, composition and declamation.” From the union of the Philomathean and Ciceronian Societies, in the winter of 1824-25, sprang the Dialectic Society, which has flourished even to the present day. Among its old members were numbered many fine speakers who took great pains to improve themselves, even to the neglect of their studies. Literary talent was also encouraged by having anonymous compositions read before the society and by publishing the best of them. In 1840, so evenly was the society divided on the question, “Has a State the right to secede from the Union ?” that the casting of the president’s vote was required to settle it in the affirmative. The character of the society has gradually changed; each year it presents the Hundredth Night play, but otherwise the literary side has been dropped. 1 he hall over the North Sally Port now serves as a meeting place for the Corps and the classes, and, as always, it is a general gathering place. By furnishing it with good literature and placing on its walls pictures of the men who have been the Corps, the Dialectic Society aims to carry on the work of those men and keep the Corps the Corps. 130pl»i 5T»clta Chcra Patrick H. Winston ........ Aur.K W. ;l'1.1 ION ........ Adki.no Giiison ......... Gkokck M. Morrow, Jr. ...... John (i. Quekemeyek ........ WlLLIAM A. (lANOr. ........ George L. Converse, Jr. ...... Thomas I.. Coi.es ........ KlC HARD H. KlMRAI.1. ........ Frederick A. Prince ........ Charles C. Chapman ........ i0ma Alpha -Opsilon Harry T. Hi.rhino ........ Warren Lott, Jr. ........ Thomas I). Stewart ........ Walter R. Weaver ........ Barton K. Yount ........ Alexander I.. James ........ Thomas J. Johnson ........ ©clca (lappa -Cpsilon Douglas I. McKay ........ John S. Hammond ........ Richard D. Newman ........ William C. McCiioru.. Edwin V. Sumner ........ Virgil L. Peterson ........ (lappa Alpha (. omhrrn) Thomas D. Osborne ........ Owen S. Ai.nRir.iiT ........ Charles S. Caitery ........ Charles C. Bankhead ....... George S. Patton..... Tiircston Hughes ........ S'lQnu phi Herndon Sharp ......... Percy Alexander ........ Charles T. Harris ........ Roy B. Staver........ Daniel I. Sultan ........ Edgar S. Miller ........ . University of Texas . Center College . Iowa Wesleyan . University of Virginia . University of Mississippi . Dickinson College . Ohio State University . University of Alabama . University of Texas . Knox College . Mercer University University of Tennessee University of Georgia University of Cincinnati Virginia Military Institute Wesleyan University Davidson College Vanderbilt University . New York University . University of Chicago . Colgate University . Central University . Lafayette College . Central University Davidson College University of Tennessee Washington and Lee University of Texas Virginia Military Institute Kentucky State College Louisiana State University University of Virginia . University of Texas . University of Wisconsin . University of Mississippi Pennsylvania State College 140The HOWITZER 141 2? ft a Cbcta pi Louis H. McKinlay Lr. Kov Bartlett Martvn H. Shiti John L. Jenkins Robert II. Fletcher . . . . University of Minnesota . . . Brown University . . . University of Maine . . University of West Virginia . . . University of California Fkux W. Moti.ow Hugo 1). Siiklti . Robert M. Cheney John II. Hester . Alpha 'Can Omc0a . . . Vanderbilt University . . . University of Nebraska . . . University of Georgia . . . University of Georgia William 1). Geary John C. K. Tillbon, Jr. Sandereord Jarman i0ina Hii . . . University of California . . . University of Georgia . . . University of (.ouisiana Henry L Watson Wili iam H. Sage, Jr. T rlta pm . . . Trinity College Massachusetts Institute of Technology Ernest Craves Harold Geiger Seta pm . . University of North Carolina . . . Stevens Institute Thomas H. Emerson Oliver A. Dickinson Edward A. Everts phi Kappa pm . . . University of California . . . Amherst College . . . University of California 7 clta «Cau T flta Royal k. Greene Lester 1). Baker . . . Dr Pauw University . . . Tufts College John F. Curry Arthur J. Hanlon Alpha 7 rtt«i phi . . . New York University . . . Wesleyan University cOibrr fraternities UrpreoentrD HaiSI V Dl NWOODY Bki ce B. Bvttler Henry W. Torsiv George R. Harrison Fauxtley M. Mn 1.1 r Marceli.cs H. Thompson Francis B. Itiiam Courts v II. Hodges Gi.es E. Kdgerton Arthur Waldron Enoch B. Garey Edward N. Woodbury Tilda Della Chi Delta Phi . Delta Upsilon Phi Gamma Della Plii Tau Delta Tau Beta Delta . Tilda Chi . I i Kappa Alpha Tau Omega Sigma Alpha Della Sigma Phi Sigma Kappa Chi Psi . . . . Columbian University (Now George Washington University) . . . Lehigh University . . . Cornell University . . . Wabash College . . Washington and Jefferson • . . Harvard University . . . Lawrence University . North Georgia Agricultural College . Kansas State Agricultural College • . Portland (Maine) High School ... St. John's College • . . la-high Universityfirot Claco Holderness, A. VV. Miles Bamford Moon Endress rconl) Clace Horsfall Chaffee Morrow Downing (Thirl) Claoo '4 Wilder Steesf Kimball Stayer £mprror of the area Stoi.hr AND UorD 1 iqI -SraBri-pachCM to U10 .ill ate t? Talbot Pridgen Barzynski •Chancellors of the “ pas cn fiction ” Mii.es Eari.y Oscillator in -Chief Broadhurst pcntmlums Al.HRIGin Maghei: Moon Klemm Morrisson, U. Bishop Corbin Bubh KOEMHR Merritt WlLBY Powell Dickey Thomas PROSSER Cummings Bankhead Peterson Lentz Gullion Keisinger Waugh Kun .ig Spaulding VDonnei.i. ?tu0 the Oriomat Walker •4. GuthrieKunzig 6anDit)iUCf Davis Bartlett Guthrie limrcD from Act me $ crtiifr ( Ik uii ns 1 +4Beneath I lie leaky bathroom floor These mighty Knockers meet; Men of noble strength are they Who tell with angry heat, "The Corps is dead ' This place is hum ! The 'makes’ arc too effete ! (Jive us a chance, let us run things! The Knockers can't be beat." .Master of t lie pile turner Prosser Winders o ' the trDQr Bishop Grubbs Workers with the pcan hammer Herring Knur ess Artists with the Car k.-hammer Gardiner, |. de B. VV. Walker lioxuln Capper with his J:iii0cr tips Iai.bot •45(iKUBBS—The old hull of the herd. Chief of the ffalrt McKinlav—The aspiring young blood of the hunch. Case—The frisky calf. Protege to Venus of the Sea Foam. Reisincek—VVcaned during the summer of 1904. A qualified Walrus. ong; of tljc Wain W’e are the original NValri. Our motto is,—“Well swim or die.’ We kick and we splash, We cut and we slash, Oh, we make the HwO fly! 14'.BERKELEY “GALILEO” MERCHANT Official obxrvcr of the Heavens during summer of 1904. Originator of the expression, “ Eyes of Heavcnlv Blue.' Instigated Astronomical Prize Fight between Jupiter and Neptune. For original methods for solution of Time Problems he was presented with an elegant copy of the Ephcmcris by the Department of Philosophy. HENRY “HERSCHEL” BURGIN (Thx Eldek) Named all the undiscovered planets. Member of Committee for Observation of Transit of Mar» across Equator. Counted and named the rings of Saturn. Discovered signs of habitation on the planet Eros. ROBERT “COPERNICUS” MORRISSON Discussion of Ptolemaic System and its practical use in determining the age of Ann. Corrected the obliquity of the Ecliptic in 1904. Commissioned by Department of Philosophy to pace off a true North and South line in the Area. LOUIS “TYCHO BRAHE” KUNZIG Author of The Old and the Afap, or Kphemerises I have Known. Inventor of machine for computing Sidereal Time and the formula for reversing the Force of Gravity. Investigated the perturbaoins oft Venus and their influence upon the number of days till June. Copernicus. Tvcho Brahe. The Elder Herschel- Galileo.IHTEftCOtXCCIATC fEMCIflC TROPHY ■° FOOTBALL trophy «■— ABMV-NAW GAME. 03Arntp Atljlctic Association President Officers for 1905 Lieutenant Colonel C. P. Echols Pice-President Lieutenant Colonel C. G. Treat Tre usurer Captain W. R. Smith Secretary Captain F. W. Coe Representative for Football Captain P. E. Pierce Representative for General Athletics Lieutenant II. J. Kofhi.fr Representative for Baseball Lieutenant L. B. Kromfr Cabct Atljletic Council Class of I()0$ Charles I). Daly Class of 1906 Harold S. Hetrick Class of IQOJ Benjamin F. Castle Class of 190S Enoch B. Garey Captain of Football Team Ernest Graves Captain of Baseball Team Patrick H. Winston Captain of Fencing Team Alvin B. Barber i oFootball Sqi-ad, 1904Hammond, 1. , ’o$ I)oe, ’05 Erwin, o8 Tipton, '05 Seagrave, 05 Mettler, ’oft Isft End l.c t Ttickle Left Guard Center Right Guard Right Tackle Gillespie, A. G., ’06 Right End Quarter-back (iAREV, E. B., oS Prince, 08 ToRNEY, 06 Hill, R. C., 07 Left Half-back Full-back Right Half-back ubotitutro 07 Hanlon, 08 II. J., '08 Rockwell, crubo Ahraham, 06 MacMillan, ’06 Watkins, Weeks, Wacom, ’05 Kun .io, ’05 Ki.emm, 05 Hot , ’05 Wii.iiei.m, 'ob Lewis, C. A., '06 Shute, 06 Wbstover, 06 Hetrick, 06 Jenkins, 07 Christy, 07 Smith, R. II., 08 Latta, ’08 C. K.. 06 Stockton, ’o8 Davis, R. 11. 08 Ringle, ’o8 I.OUSTALOT, 08 Ellis, ’o8 l caTi Coatb Lieutenant Boyers Joeiotant Coacbro Lieutenant Koy Lieutenant Kromer Lieutenant Thompson Cadet Daly Cadet Graves Doctor W. I’. Bull (Trainer James Temple £apt am for 1004 Lrnest ( Iraves, ’05 -Captain tor i«05 Alexander G. Gillespie, ’06 .manager for uhm Norman I . Ramsey, ’05 .manager for u 05 George M. Morrow, '06 Assistant .manager for uxm Assistant .manager for 1005 Georoe M. Morrow, ’06 Charles T. IIarris, ’07 1004 S'fhetiulr army dpi . Tuns . 12 0 Dickinson . . 18 0 Harvard 0 4 Yale . • 11 6 Army, i ARMY OPP. Williams '7 0 Princeton 6 12 N. Y. University 4» 0 Syracuse Navy, 0 . 21 5 FOOTBALI 1904 FROM the beginning to the end of the season of 1904, the Army mule held his tail high in the air and wagged it violently. I he material we started with was first class, requiring only the development of two new guards and a quarter-hack. The remaining positions were held by old, experienced players who could he relied on to give a good account of themselves. Temple was on hand to repeat former successes, and we had Boyers as head coach, with Kromcr, Thompson and Daly as assistants. T he team was captained by Graves, later by Doc, and both stepped up on the pedestal of winning captains. The schedule was planned with the idea of a hasty development, culminating at the Princeton game. The intention was to take either Yale or Princeton into camp and to show them the real army hospitality. We brought our team into the best form we were capable of for the purpose of competing with Harvard, Yale and Princeton. The result is typical of the Army’s position in intercollegiate sport. By this hasty development we “almost” defeated Harvard, and by good luck and Yale’s Ca o r.T Rams nr, ManagerThe HOWITZER •55 mistakes we snatched a victory from the latter. But when we met the finished team of Princeton, it was apparent to all that their greater strength and weight made them our superiors. While our strength lasted we fought on equal if not better terms, and the possibility of victory vanished only far along in the second half. The first two games were played with Tufts and Dickinson. The results were 12-0 and 18-0 respectively. The team showed the effects of the rapid development. The driving attack and team co-operation were what might have been expected. It was in these games that the quarter-back problem and that of the new guards began to clear up. The Harvard game will always be a touching example of “what might have been." Here the team showed a defense strong enough to resist Harvard’s oblique tandem, and, at one point, an attack that seemed to promise a score. It became, however, a good example of how one or two foolish acts can spoil a great opportunity. Somebody fumbled, and somebody mishandled a punt, and Harvard had us kicking to a fair catch. In this manner we gracefully presented her with four points, a lead that meant the game. The Army team showed fight and strong play. It is the best record we have ever made against Harvard. The score was 4 o. The following summary shows how nearly equal the two teams were: Fumbles 1 Likutcxant Bov ms. Head Coach Gained Gained by by Rushing Run Backs Harvard 65 ’yards 49 yards West Point 64 yards 41 yards The event of the year, next to the Navy game, was the Army-Yale game. From east, west, north and south the enthusiasts trooped into W est Point. They came by rail, water and wagon road until the post was black with visitors. There were automobiles by the score and half a dozen yachts at the dock. Three thousand and eight hundred, lucky 3800, drew seats, while 10,000 crowded the grass plain. In fundamental power, Yale was easily our superior, hut in all-round development we were five points better than Yale. W hen it came to steadyi56 The H O W I T Z E R progress through the opposing defense. Vale moved along consistently But they were weak in the “fine points.” In the first few minutes of play Krwin blocked a punt, picked up the ball and ran twenty yards for a touchdown. and the Army was six points in the lead, f rom then until the end o the second half a terrific battle ensued. Twice Yale battered her way to the goal line, scoring six points on the second trip. A third time, near the close of the game, she again approached the goal line. On the ten-yard line sin fumbled, and Torney ran too yards to glory, a touchdown and an Ainu victory. It was all over but the shouting, and the Corps is shouting yet In this game Yale, like West Point against Harvard, “almost” won. as these statistics show: Gained Gained by Average Gained by Gained bv Gained by bv Rushing Run Haek- Punt Punting Blocked Hall Fumbled Hall Yale 289 yards 53 yards 2b yards 130 yards O yards 0 yards West Point 25 yards 42 yards 35 yar(,s 448 yards {7 yards 100 yards (I raves, who played the game of bis life against Yale, retired for the season after the Yale game. Ilis knee put him in the hospital for a week, after which he brought bis valuable experience to bear on the team in the coaching department. Doe became field captain, and the team set out for Princeton and the Navy. Williams was defeated 17-o. I'll is game showed the need of developing the rushing game and the kicking offence. A week later we played Princeton. Princeton was trained to championship form. The game was attended by even greater crowds than the Yale game. After thirty minutes’ play the rmy scored six points by as fast a play as any field has ever seen. A Prince-ton man fumbled, and successive Army men kicked and Cadet Graven, CaptainThe HOWITZER 57 dribbled the ball across the line to a touchdown. ictory seemed not only possible but very probable. Princeton, however, gathered power and speed as the game progressed, and twice hammered their way to touchdowns. The result was 12-6. A week later, in a loose, inaccurate game. New York University was defeated 4.1 c. The succeeding week, Syracuse was defeated 21 5. Here the team showed development toward the Navy game. The offense was fast, concentrated and accurate. While the regular players were in, the team moved with “machine-like" precision, so that the Corps set out for Philadelphia enthusiastic and confident—but it being the Navy, not too confident. The game is described in detail elsewhere. Here we shall observe only that the Navy made the mistake of matching her rushing game Ca„ct Dor. FfclJ Cgum against the Army’s defense. I his match of fundamental power was just what the Army desired. In four straight victories over the Navy, it is curious to remark that the Navy’s strength has never been applied at the point that would probably lead to victory. Her game has been to rush and tight; though it seems probable that a defensive kicking game would be a stronger card. However, the former policy was played in a spirit of pluck and sand that brought the whole Army to its feet in admiration. So the season ended —victorious from start to finish, the fourth of like character. To Captain Pierce belongs the credit of a carefully-managed season. His difficulties in the ticket line have been innumerable, and he has managed them all. To Boyers belongs the credit of a carefully-developed season, wherein the team showed steady progress to victory over the Navy. The players and the Corps wish to see him at the helm again. To Craves belongs an unsurpassed record as captain and player. This credit he must share with Doe who successfully captained the team in its final stages. And too much praise can not be given the scrubs for their hard and faithful work in producing a winning team. Finally to the players our hats are off forever, to Tipton, the greatest center of the year, to 'Forney and Hill and all the rest. May they continue the course of uninterrupted victory which we have seen during the last four years.NAVY GAME THE Army-Navy game was played at Franklin Field, Philadelphia, on the twenty-sixth of November, and resulted in a decided victory for the Army. As usual, the two teams, ther Brigade of Midshipmen and the Corps’of Cadets, were guests of the University of Pennsylvania. Otherwise the conditions this year were somewhat different from those that have obtained heretofore. The game this year was played under a system of eligibility rules—rules not exactly like those that apply at other colleges, but a system peculiar to ourselves. These rules were adopted by the two academies after much discussion and debate. The Army Athletic Association has consistently opposed limitations affecting the playing of any cadet other than those imposed by the Academic Board. In this they have been firmly and heartily supported by the entire Corps of Cadets. The Navy’s insistancc seemed to be on the ground of equalizing the chances of victory, and the rules adopted are regarded by us as a partial concession to this demand and not as an abandonment of our principle or position. Whether or not this agreement is to be continued after the expiration of the three years is an open question. 59 The HOWITZER Following is the agreement: April 15, 1904. The undersigned, acting by virtue of the authority vested in them, hereby agree to the following rules which shall govern the selection of the members of the Military and Naval Academy teams in inter-Academy football contests for a period of three years from this date, unless such rules are dissolved at an earlier date by the mutual consent of committees authorized to represent the Army and Navy Athletic Associations in the matter: 1. The date of the game shall be the Saturday following Thanksgiving Day. 2. No Cadet or Midshipman shall represent his Academy in any inter-Academy contest who has heretofore represented his Academy in similar contests for a period of four years. 3. A Cadet or Midshipman who has been a regular member of the first team of one of the 40 institutions named below shall not be a member of the team of such institution and of his Academy team in any inter-Academy football contest for more than four seasons in the aggregate. Note i .— In this rule the words ' regular member of the first team” shall be construed to mean, for any football season, a player who has engaged during that season in such football games as would entitle him, under the rules of his college or university, to wear the initial of such institution. Note 2.—The forty institutions shall be named by a disinterested person from among the colleges and universities of the United States which are recognized as holding the leading positions in the sport of football. 4. The Council of each Athletic Association shall be the sole judge, under these rules, of the eligibility of the players constituting its teams. A. L. MILLS, Colonel, U. S. Army, SuperinUnJent, U. S. Military Acadtmy. WILLARD II. BROWNSON, Captain, U. S. Navy, SuprrintrnJt'nt, U. S. Naval .Icadtmy. 1 Amherst 15 Haskell 29 Pennsylvania 2 Andover 16 Illinois 30 Princeton 3 Brown 17 Iowa 31 Sewanee 4 Bucknell 18 Kansas 34 South Carolina 5 California iq Lafayette 33 Stanford 6 Carlisle 20 Lehigh 34 Syracuse 7 Chicago 21 Michigan 35 Vanderbilt 8 Columbia 22 Minnesota 36 Virginia 9 Cornell 23 Missouri 37 Wesleyan 10 Dan mouth 24 Nebraska 38 Williams 11 Dickinson 25 Northwestern 39 Wisconsin 12 Exeter 26 North Carolina 40 Yale 3 Georgetown 27 Notre Dame '4 Harvard 28 Pennsylvania State The H () VV I T Z E R 160 The game this year was noticeable in many respects. It was one of the few whitewashes of the season, and the Hist time that we have ever shut the Navy completely out. It was not a repetition of the overwhelming walkovers of i()02 and 1903, and yet the victory was absolute and decisive. It was a victory that every man in the Corps is justly proud of. According to the opinion of those best qualified to judge, it was really the best football game played on any field this year. The game was practically errorless on the Army’s part and well fought on the part of the Navy. The fine offensive playing of our team with the Navy’s strong defence made the 60-yard battle for the second touchdown one of the hardest, most interesting and remarkable fights ever seen on any field. Till. Corps Thk Following is thk Opinion of Walter Camp: The day was perfect, save for the wind. The field had been well protected with straw from the frost and hence the footing was almost as good as in the game between IYnn. and Cornell on I hanksgiving Day. The crowd was all that an Army-Navy game can draw, and that means much, for non-players in both arms of the service take the sport seriously enough to make a point of knowing the game. Hence, fine points are appreciated and a good play is recognized at its full worth. I he Navy started of! well and certainly the dash which they put into both their attack and defence was worth yards to them, but it was terribly expensive work. It made the Army seem almost sluggish in comparison when it was eating up the Navy'sThe H C) W I T Z E R 161 vitality fast, and the only excuse for it could he a probability of reaching the Army goal line, and that from the distance was really so nearly an impossibility that it should not have received consideration. 1 he Navy should have husbanded some of that reserve force for later use and should have kicked earlier and kept on kicking. That, with the excellent defense the Middies were putting up, would have held the Army down in their own territory and in an uncomfortable position. Instead of this there occurred just the unexpected that crops out to turn affairs. I he Army, forced to punt, made a rather short kick, which the wind also held up. Tin An sir's Toccmdown so that both the Navy hacks had time to come upon it. As it bounded neither of them touched it and it went up, but, fatal error! as it came down, after its first rebound, one of them, instead of seizing it, reached out half-heartedly, touched it and thereby put the Army men on-side. Tipton, who was coming down the field under the kick, was right on hand. Instead of falling on the ball he kicked it along toward the Navy line, and as it went shimmering along he raced after it and in another moment had secured the first touchdown of the game, and in addition had entirely altered the aspects of affairs. Instead of struggling in their own territory and fighting against the wind, the Army would now have the wind with them and holding hack any kicks of the Navy. It was the turning point in the game most decidedly, and while the Army might with their greater power have worn down the Navy this gave them a certainty. This took the heart out of the Annapolis men and added great confidence to West Point. Before the half was over the Army had hammered its way down to a second touchdown, and the half closed with a score of 11 too in West Point’s favor.162 The HOWITZER Various were the predictions heard at intermission as to the size of the score, many of those along the side lines estimating it at least at 30 and the majority probably at 20, but these reckoned without considering the plucky defense of Annapolis. In the second half, they stopped West Point’s running game even more successfully than they bad in the first period, and bad they not again been guilty of most atrocious judgment themselves in the use of plays they might have scored. Having refused to kick when they had the wind with them, they punted several times on the second down when they had the wind against them, even after it had been demonstrated that West Point could, on an even exchange without the wind, out-kick them and had an end in Gillespie who outclassed the Navy’s ends. The heroic brace they took in the second half at one time looked as if it might bring them a score, but instead of repeating a very successful run they were using just outside the Army’s left tackle and which unless it reversed its record would have given them the necessary 2 yards, they tried a quarter-back kick, and that, too, directly out of bounds, thus yielding possession of the ball without ever a try for the score. A drop-kick, a kick from placement, a long fake, anything in which there was a chance, would have been better, but to kick the ball directly out of bounds, that sounded the death knell of any hope the Navy may have had of scoring. But they held the Army to those two single scores of the first half, and to do that they fought hard and well. It was nothing like the one-sided games of some other years, notably that of last season, yet it was a decisive victory for the Army and they deserved their points. I’ipton’s good judgment won the first and a fully demonstrated superiority in attack brought them the second. West Point’s attack was manifestly more powerful than that of Annapolis, but the surprise came in the excellent defense of Annapolis. It was far and away ahead of anything the Navy has done since the Army developed their heavy attack and deserved to have a backing in the shape of a better defense to go with it. After all, the superiority in the line was too much for the Navy to overcome, although they fought bravely. Were the two teams to meet again tomorrow the result would be of necessity the same. ARM V Hammond, 'I . W. . Doe Erwin (Weeks) . Tipton Seagrave Mettler Gillespie Garey Prince Hiu. Torney (Watkins) Cbc line up toae POSITIONS Left End If ft Tackle . Left Guard Centre . Right Guard NAVY . . Howard Farley . . Goss McClinhc Piersol (Woodward) Grady (Piersoi.) . Whitney (Dagne) . Norton (Willcox) Spenser (Bernhard) . . Doherty Smith (Gormley) Right Tackle Right End Quarter-back Left Half-back Right Half-back Full-back Touchdowns—Tipton and Doc. Goal from touchdown—Doe. Referee— Edgar Wrightington, Harvard. Umpire—Everts Wrenn, Harvard. Linesman—T. T. Hare, Pennsylvania. Time of halves—Thirty-five minutes.The H O W I T Z E R 16 3 £tati£ttc$ 2?cloui arc omen soujc Etatistics of the team that planch m the j alin halite NAMES position WEIGHT height AGE Hammond, T. W. Left End 170 lbs. 5 Ft. 11 in. 23 Doe Left Tackle 181 lbs. 5 ft. 9 in. 21 Erwin Left Guard 180 lbs. 5 ft. 11J in. 20 Tipton Center 197 lbs. 5 ft. 11 in. 22 Seagravf. Right Guard 185 lbs. 5 ft. 11 in. 24 M ETTLER Right Tackle 174 lbs. 6 ft. 0 in. 23 ( ill.I.ESPIE, A. G. Right End 169 lbs. 5 ft. 11 in. 23 Carey, K. B. Quarter-back 148 lbs. 5 ft. 8A in. 21 Prince Left Half-back 166 lbs. 5 ft. 11 in. 21 Hill, R. C. Right Half-back 166 lbs. 5 ft. 9 in. 23 Torney Full-back 170 lbs. 5 ft. 10 in. 22 Average weight of line, 179.4 lbs. Average weight of last year’s line, 182 lbs. Average weight of backs, 164.5 lbs. Average weight of last year’s hacks, 168.5 lbs. Average weight of team, 173.3 lbs. Average weight of last year’s team, 177.1 lbs. pnopsitf of tfjc J-Jaop 0ame WEST POINT GAIN. HY RUSHING BY PUNTS IIY RUN-HACKS BY PENALTIES DRIBBLED BAIL 1st half, 117 yds. 1st half, 193 yds. 1st half, 72 yds. 1st half, 35 yds. 1st half, 40 yds. 2d “ 83 “ 2d “ 282 “ 2d “ 45 “ 2d “ 0 “ and touch- Total, 200 “ Total, 475 “ Average gain per punt=40 yds. Total, 117 “ Total, 35 “ down West Point lost ball on fumbles twice. ANNAPOLIS GAIN. BY RUSHING BY PUNTS BY RUN-BACKS BY PENALTIES 1st half, 24 yds. 1st half, 199 yds. ist half, lost 3 vds. 1st half, 35 vds. 2d “ 78 “ 2d “ 188 “ 2d “ gained 41 “ 2d “ «5 “ —— — — — Total, 102 “ Total, 387 “ Average gain per punt=3 yds. Total gain, 38 “ Total, 50 “ Annapolis lost ball on fumble once, and on blocked kick once. UrcorU of 3Um?‘J2atop 0ainro 1890 Navy 24 Army 0 1900 Navy 11 Army 7 1891 Navy 16 Army 32 1901 Navy 5 Army 11 1892 Navy 12 Army 4 1902 Navy 8 Army 22 ,893 Navy 6 Army 4 1903 Navy 5 Army 40 1899 Navy 5 Army '7 i9°4 Navy 0 Army 11 Total number of points. Navy 92, Army 148.The H O W I T Z E R i 64 A—a—r—r—rmy! A—a—r—r—rmy! A—a—r—r—rmy! Rah! Rah! Rah! West Point! Thr Army Gridiron Rah! Rah! Ray! Rah! Rah! Ray! West Point! West Point! A—a—rmy! Ray! Ray! Ray! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! West Point! West Point! West Point!Baseball Team, 190404 ASE-BALL'M • TEEM■ Graves, ’05 Gardiner, J. B., ’05 Pritchett, ’o7 Crain, ’04 Whipple, ’04 Winston, ’05 First Hast Second Hast Short Stop Third Base Left Field Center Field Rockwell, C. K., ’o6 Right Field HacKEIT, II. B., ’04 Catcher Carter, W. V., ’04 Pitcher Herring, ’05 Pitcher Albright, '05 Pitcher ubctitutrc Fulton, ’04 Meals, ’04 Lane, W. E., '06 Copp, ’04 Wagner, '07 Hansen, ’o7 Coach Doctor Summersgii.i. •Captain for u 04 Horatio B. Hackett, Jr., ’04 Captain tor 1005 Patrick II. Winston, ’05 .Manager for 1004 Robert M. Danford, ’04 .Manager for 1005 I)i Witt C. T. Grubbs, 05 cbctiulf for 1004 April 8 Union .... ARMY 5 OPP. 0 April 16 Pennsylvania State 1 0 April 20 Williams 8 3 April 23 Harvard 3 12 May 4 New York University 10 1 May 11 7th Regiment, N. G. S. N Y. 4 4 May 4 Yale .... 1 7 May 18 Fordham 2 4 May 21 Navy . 8 2 167Ol R baseball diamond is in one respect very similar to our riding ball; it is a place of many ups and downs. t least this has been the case for the past few years. Usually the “ups” are witnessed early in the season, while the “downs” mark its close. Keeping in line with tradition we opened up the season of i )04 in brilliant style, winning our Hist three games. Pennsylvania State, Union and Williams being our victims. In spite of the cold weather a prettier exhibition of baseball than the game against Pennsylvania State has never been seen on our diamond. With these victories to our credit we were calculating on giving Harvard another little surprise party similar to that of the year before, but somehow Harvard did not fall in with our plans very readily. There did not seem to be the same confidence in our own ability that characterized the game the year before. A feeling of uncertainty and hesitancy prevailed everywhere and this was accentuated by a few incidents in the second inning,—these incidents being eight runs produced by a salvo of hits and a corned v of errors. It was a great disappointment, but ably assisted bv the “stick-at-it-ness” which has always marked Lieutenant Kromer’s association with athletics here, and by our coach. Doctor Summersgill, we set out to redeem our endangered reputation. New York University was but a practice game, and on May 11 we met our old friends of the 7th Regiment. As the game was played on Wednesday a time limit was fixed and at 16XTh,’ H () W I T Z E R 169 its expiration we were ahead 4 3. It was decided to continue, however, although they had a man on second and third and hut one out. I he result owing to a little had judgment on our part was a tie, 4 4. From then on the “downs” had their innings, Yale and Fordham defeating us although both in well-played games. The great triumph of the season came on May 21 when our team journeyed to Annapolis to meet the Middies. All the odds seemed to be in their favor they had a good record, ours was only mediocre; they were on their own grounds, while we were far from home. But all this only served to unify the team. They worked together as never before and, with Carter’s excellent work in the box, they encored the dose of 1901. And while speaking of the Navy game, it would be untrue to our team and to our Corps not to say a word of appreciation for the hospitality shown us by the officers and midshipmen of the Naval Academy. From the moment of our arrival until we left we were extended every kindness and courtesy possible. Rivals we must he, as long as the Navy has a goat and the Army a mule, hut friends forever. With the Navy game our season closed. Was it a success? We think so. Perhaps compared with records made by our football team it would appear not; but any season which culminates in an Army victory over the Navy should be considered successful although the remainder of the year was marred by slips and falls. We have much to contend with in baseball a great excess of other work—both drills and Academic duties, a training table that is conspicuous by its absence, and almost no time to practice. But with it all a close study of the scorebooks of past years shows much improvement. Fach season’s team seems just a little better than the one before. Of the individuals of last year’s team much may be said. Hackett’s work behind the bat was remarkable. Mis throwing to second was consistently good the best seen on our field. His final game against the Navy was one of his best, and it was due to his skillf ul coaching as well as to Car-ter’s pitching that we succeeded in winning. Carter s work toward the last of the season was strictly first class. Owing to lack of practice and—what shall we call it Bill, malaria ?—early in the season he did nor do himself justice, but beginning with the Yale game he was unhittable for the remainder of the season. The Navy could not find the ball at all, as the small number of hits will testify. There is not much use saving anything about Graves everyone knows “Pot.” Ilis playing was steady and he held down first base nobly. In fact he could hold anything down if he sat on it.17° The H () VV ITZER Gardiner’s work at second was not up to his play of other years; it was erratic, sometimes very good almost star-like—at others equally had. His base running and general run getting, however, more than made up for his errors. Crain was the season’s find. Nothing got away from him at third and his hitting was always most timely. Winston, Whipple and Rockwell make up about the fastest outfield we have ever had. They are all experienced men; sure, good hitters and fast on the bases. Pritchett, though rather weak at bat, was a treasure at short, his fielding being always steady and reliable. lbright, ably assisted bv Herring, was our mainstat in the box the first half of the season and he did his work well. He pitched in all sorts of weather, against all sorts of teams, and was always the same a Chinese puzzle. We will rely on him to do most of our box work this year. A word more as to the prospects for 1905. We have the nucleus for a strong, winning team. True we have lost Hackett, Whipple, Crain and Carter, but we have strong substitutes from last year’s team to fill the gaps. Hackett’s place will give us the most difficulty and we can hardlv expect to have it filled as he filled it. Winston has been elected captain and Lieutenant Kromer is still back of us in the Army Athletic Association. So the team of 1905 should be able to cut its name one step higher than any of its predecessors. Or 'Batting: anD irlDtng: aurracrcfi for 1904 were ao follows: HA ITI NO Fulton . .500 IIhkri.no •3 3 Gardiner, J. B. . 281 Winston 273 Graves .265 Crain .263 Whipple .242 Albright .200 Hack Err, 11. B. .115 Carter, W. V'. j . 100 Rockwell, C. K. 065 Pritchett 000 Lane, W. K. .000 FI HI.DISC Macketi, 11. B. 1 000 Lane, W. K. 1 000 Fulton 1 000 Graves .976 Carter, W. V. .971 Rockwell, C. K. . 9«7 Winston .917 Ai.BKIGH’1 9 3 Crain .912 Pritchett . 42 Gardiner, J. B. . 800 Whipple .786 Herring 708NAVY GAME THE differences existing between the two academies in 1903 having been adjusted, the date for our game in 1904 was set for May 2lst. Accordingly our team went to Annapolis, leaving the Corps in fear and trembling for the result. But the game was a very pleasant surprise to our adherents, for we won decisively, 8-2. Carter’s work in the box was the best he ever did. He had it all with him, speed, curves and control, and was a perfect enigma to the whole Navy team. The Navy pitchers were wild and we took every possible advantage of it, getting eleven bases on balls. The Navy looked dangerous in the first, getting three men on bases with no one out, bur not a man crossed the plate. Carter let up a trifle in the sixth, and a base on balls and two hits produced two runs. That was their beginning and their end a sudden death. We started off with four runs in the second on hits by Gardiner and Graves and several bases on balls. Another was added in the third on Gardiner’s hit, his steal to second and third, the score coming in on a poor throw to third. One more was scored in the fourth on Rockwell’s pass and Graves’ single, and two in the fifth on hits by Carter and Crain, and bases on balls to Pritchett and Rockwell. The Navy’s cup of misfortune was filled to overflowing and one more victor was added to the Army’s swelling list. 7' J2 'The H C) W I T Z E R Cbc corr ARMY NAVY R 11 0 A E k 11 0 A K Winston, cf 1 0 3 0 0 Pkgkam,ib 0 1 8 1 1 Rockwell, rf 3 0 2 0 1 Spoepord, rf 0 1 2 1 O Crain, $b 1 2 2 1 O McWhorter, 2b 0 0 2 1 1 Graves, ib 0 2 6 0 O Cohen, cf 0 0 0 O 0 Hack Kir, c 0 0 12 1 O Goldthwaitk, If 0 1 2 1 0 Whipple, If 0 0 0 0 0 Stiles, c 0 0 12 I 1 Gardiner, 2b 1 2 i 0 2 Thkobold, 3b 1 0 0 1 0 Pritchett, ss 2 0 0 i O Gill, ss Needham, p 1 1 1 4 0 Carter, p 0 1 1 2 I 0 0 0 0 0 Kui.ton, If 0 0 0 0 O Hughes, p 0 1 0 2 0 Total 8 7 27 5 4 Total 2 5 27 12 3 S'tore bi Jnningfi Army 0 4 1 12000 O— X Navy 0 0 0 00200 0—2 Left on bases- -Army -li Navy 7 Stolen bases Gardiner (2), Pritchett, Crain, and Hackett. Struck out W Carter 10, by Needham 3, by Hughes 1. Bases Oil halls—Off Carter 3, off Needham io, off Hughes 2. Sacrifice hit—Winston. Hit by pitched hall—Goldtlnvaite. Time of game 2 hours and 20 minutes. Umpirc-O’Laugldin, American League. 0amro |Jlai rfc ARMY NAVY ARMY NAVY 1901 4 3 1903 No game 1902 3 5 1904 8 2Fencing Sqt AD, i•MFENCIMG •TEAM- (Cram Honeycutt, 04 Scott, W. R., ’04 ub0tttutr0 Ki'N ic, ’05 Humphreys, F. E., ’c6 Williford, ’o6 Barber, ’05 (Ia 11 wood, ’06 -Captain tor 1004 (iKoRfiE V. Strong, '04 Captain for 1905 Alvin B. Raiuikr, 05 lllanaorr for 1004 Charles S. Hoyt, ’04 .lUanaorr for 1005 Louis A. Kunzjg, 05 Dual tRrrts Harvard 2 Army 7 Cornell 3 Army 6 Pennsylvania 3 Army 6 'tale 0 Army 9 3 ntfrcollrgtatr (Tournament WON LOST PERCENTAGE Army 4 3 •759 Columbia 33 21 .611 Cornell 33 21 .611 Navy 29 25 •539 1 larvard 27 27 .500 Yale 20 34 •37' Pennsylvania 6 48 .111 Cadet Honeycutt Intercollegiate Champion, 03, ’04f I graduates, fencing at the Military cademy j generally recalls plebe days when “left half face,” “ready,guard,” “lunge,” “ parry” and “riposte” occupied many hours. That training, though excellent for its purpose, failed to develop expert swordsmen. There was little competition among cadets. In 1902 a team representing the Army for the first time entered the intercollegiate lists and brought competitive fencing into prominence. In that year they won every meet including the Intercollegiate Tournament, Strong, of the Armv, tying for individual championship. The seasons of 1905 and 1904 copied their history from the page of 1902 and added Breckinridge and Honeycutt to the list of individual champions. The record of the three years is without a flaw. A very pleasant feature of the past season was the increased number of friendly meets of an informal nature. The first event of the season was a visit of this kind in February from the previously graduated Navy Team. The New York Turn Vcrein fencers spent an evening here in February and the squad were Cadet Strong Intercollegiate Champion oi Captain 'o The HOWI T Z E R 177 similarly entertained in March by the New York Athletic Club and the New York Fencers Club. The kindly interest of these experienced swordsmen in college fencing has made this fencing possible. On April isr and 2d the objective of the year’s work was reached -the “Intercollegiate.” The entire squad attended as guests of Major Gibbs whose charming hospitality has made those trips so pleasant. The tournament was a fitting climax to a season marked only with success. I he Army team won decisively, defeating each team entered. Honeycutt easily took the individual honors. His unparalleled record of winning his entire 18 bouts was the sensation of the meet. The Army victory was not a surprise. Under Lieutenant Koehler’s masterful control, the consistent policy of developing material for the years ahead, bore fruit in 1904 when the team was practically “home made.” As assistant to Lieutenant Koehler in the all-important matter of coaching. Mr. Richard Malchien, of New York City, was. as in 1903, invaluable. As to the squad. Lieutenant Koehler described their work by saying that they “faithfully responded to every demand made upon them during the four and one-half months of training, which is more arduous and grinding and demands clo er application than the training for any other athletic event.” Fencing has thus taken a higher place in the lives of many cadets than in days gone by Our wish is that in days to come those men may not lay down the foil forever, but instead may make a beginning of fencing in the Army. Cadet Breckinridge Intercollegiate Champion ' } 9° 5 ’ 1'rack Tr.AMTHE way we broke records on the Annual Held Day made the St. Louis proposition appear easy money. When we fount! the Olympic games to be mostly a series of long-distance swims, we returned home consoling ourselves with Mark 1 wain s adage, “Only d----------- fools succeed in St. Louis." Nevertheless, on our Held day the records were broken. Hammond, Holderness, Dowd and Watkins sprinted and burled themselves to glory. The finish of the mile run was a sight long to be remembered. As the three runners crossed the line in record-breaking time they could have been covered by the same blanket. Fair 1905 gracefully tripped forward and again walked oft with the banner. This makes the third that the class has taken, and this record has been equalled only once—by 1896. The pros peers for a fourth banner are good. This year we hope to engage the Navv in track athletics. If we could give up one day in the spring, as we do in the fall, to the good fellowship of inter-service athletics, we feel that the existing mutual confidence would be strengthened. ri.vmi 440-YARD runThe H () VV I T Z E R i 80 Clflifiiti) Annual jFtrlti Bap MAY 2o. 1904 loo-Yard Dash i Hammond, J. S., '05 10 see. 2 Daly, C. D., 05 3 St id man, C. A., ’07 220-Yard Dash 1 Hammond, |. S., '05 (record) 22 2-5 sec. 2 Daly, C. D.'. 05 440-Yard Run 1 2 I 'pham, K. B., ‘05 Hoyle, R. K., ’06 2 2-5 sec. 3 llodgts, |. N., ’05 X8o-Yard Run 1 Dowd, V. S., 04 (rec« rd) 2 min. 9 2-5 sec. 2 Stilwell, J. W., '04 3 Larly, C. C., 05 Onk-. 1ii.l Run 1 lloldcrntss, A. V., 05 (record)4 min. 44 2-5 sic. 2 Dailey, (I. !•’., ’oh 3 (Juthrie, S. II., ’05 120-YaRI) IIurdi.k 1 2 Beavers, (I. Y'., 07 Humphreys, l I.., ’06 17 sec. 3 Daly. C. IX, 05 Running High Jumi 1 Anderson, W. 1)., ’04 5 ft. $•'. in. 2 Beavers, (I. V., '07 3 Honeycutt, K. W., ’04 ( Hammond, J. S., '05 Running Hkoai Jumi 2 McKay, I). I., '05 Beavers, (I. Y., ’07 20 ft. 3J in. 3 Daly, C. D., 05 Siioi But (16 lbs.) 1 Tompkins, II. 1'., ’05 37 ft. 5? 2 Lane, Y. K., ’06 3 Sulran, 1). I., '07 Ham.mi r Throw (16 lbs.) i Watkins, L. II., '07 (record) 105 ft. 8 in. 2 Tompkins, II. 1’05 3 Rockwell, C. K., ’06 l oi.k Vaui.t 1 ( Dillon, T. H., 04 ) » 1 Barber, A. B., ’05 ) 9 ft. 10 in. 1 Watkins, L. II., 07 2 ( Chandler, C. 1 ., ’07 3 Bartlett, L. R., ’05 WORLD 1. C. A. A. A. A. 100-1“ard Dash U. S. M. A. 9 3-5 sec. 9 3-5 sec. 10 sec. A. F. Duffey A. F. Duffey J. S. HaMMOND, 05 Georgetown, 1902 Georgetown, 1902 220-Yard Dash 1903 2! 1-5 sec. 21 1-5 sec. 22 2-5 sec. IL J. Wkfeks IL J. Wkfeks J. S. Hammond, '05 Georgetown, 1896 Georgetown, 1896 J JO-Yard Run 1904 47 sec. 49 1-5 sec. 52 sec. M. W. Long J. IL Taylor F. IL Upham, ’05 N. Y. A. C., 1900 Pennsylvania, 1904 SSo-) ard Run ‘903 1 min. 53 2-5 sec. 1 min. 56 4-5 sec. 2 min. 9 2-5 sec. C. II. Kilpatrick K. Hollister W. S. Dowd, ’04 N. Y. A. C, 1895 Harvard, 1896 I.. IL Parsons Yale, 1904 One-Mile Run 1904 4 min. 15 3-5 sec. 4 min. 23 2-5 sec. 4 min. 44 2-5 sec. T. 1 . CONNEFF G. W. Orton A. W. Holders ess, 05 N. Y. A. C., 1895 Pennsylvania, 1895 182 9°4 I JO-} ard Hurdle •5 '-5 «c. A. C. Kkaenzlein Pennsylvania, 18t 8 15 2-5 see. A. C. Kraf.nzlkin Pennsylvania, 1899 lO 4-5 sec. R. 1C. McNally, '99 189X 24 ft. 11 $-4 in. 1 J. O’Connor Irish A. A. A., 19OI Running Broad Jum [ 24 ft. 4 1-2 in. A. C. Kraenzlein Pennsylvania, 1899 21 ft. 7 in. R. K. McNally, ’99 1898 6 It. 5 5-8 in. M. 1 . SWHHNHV X. A. A., 1895 Running High Jump () ft. $ in. J. 1). Windsor Pennsylvania, 1897 5 ft. 7 3-4 in. . V. Morris, 00 1899 Pole Vault 12 ft. 1 $2-100 in. N. Dole Stanford, 1904 11 ft. 9 in. W. McLanahan Yale, 1904 10 ft. 9 in. K. I). Peek, ’01 ,899 48 ft. 7 in. R. W. Rose Michigan, 1904 Putting Shot (16 Ihs.) 46 ft. F. Beck Yale, 1903 37 1' 3 4 '»• C. A. Ro.MF.YN, ’99 1897 172 ft. 11 in. J. Flanagan j. N. Y. 1. A. A., 1904 Throwing Hammer (iri lbs.) 164 ft 10 in. J. R. I)e Witt Princeton, 1902 105 ft. 8 in. L. II. Watkins, '07 1904 83 ON March twelfth « t last winter, the Corps, the fiends and the gallery all got together in the gymnasium and held the annual indoor meet. When Armstrong did an upward back cut-off from the Hying rings the gallery said “Oh!" when 1905 took another banner, the Corps said, “Gee whiz," and when the fiends walked up for their “A ”'s everybody stood up and veiled for the Army’s best. 1904 won the meet. In doing so it was not found necessary to break any records. The results were: Standing High Jump i ( ( Wilson, A. II., ’04 1 Hammond, J. S., ’05 J 4 ft. 8 in. Standing Broad Jump , Hammond, J. S., '05 10 ft. 5 in. 2 Moose, W. L., 07 Running High Jumi 1 Anderson, V., ’04 5 ft. 4 in. i Pratt, J. S., ’06 ) 2 ( Beavers, G. W., 07 I Shot Put (16 lbs.) 1 Tompkins, II. IT., ’05 37 ft. 1 1-2 in. 2 Moose, W. L., ’07 Pole Climb 1 Turner, G. E., '06 5 4-5 sec. 2 Pritchett, E. E., '07 Rope Climb i Turner, G. E., ’06 10 3-5 sec. Fence Vault (f irst Class) 2 Westovcr, O., ’06 Danford, R. M., 04 7 ft. 1 in. 2 Anderson, W. 1)., ’04 Fence Vault (Second Class) 1 ( Meals, C. A., ’04 ) ( Turner, G. E., ’06 j 6 ft. 8 in. 184Flying Rings 1 Armstrong, F. V., ’04 2 W ard, R. T., 04 Horizontal Par 1 Ward, R. T., 04 2 Armstrong, F. V., 04 Parallel Pars 1 Ward, R. T., 04 2 Armstrong, F. V., ’04 Side Horse 1 W« stover, ()., ’06 2 Ward, R. 'I'., ’04 Long Horse 1 Ward. R. I ., ’04 • ( Armstrong, F. V., 04 A ( Stover, ()., ’06 Potato Rack I Copp, A. W., 04 35 4-5 sec. 2 Stilwell, J. W., 04 20-Yard Dash I j Daly, C. 1)., 05 I Hammond, J. S., 05 | 2 4-5 sec. Pug of War (First Heat) 1904 vs. 1907 1904 won Fug of War (Second Heat) 1905 vs. 1906 won Tug of War (Final) 1904 vs. 1905 1904 won All-Round Gymnast (Pierce Currier Foster Memorial Prize) « Ward. R. T., 04 » Armstrong, K. W, 04 1 Hammond, |. S., ’05 2 Tompkins, II. U., ’05 i»5 All-Round AthleteliA Kr.TKAt.L TFAM HJOgAlthough of comparatively recent arrival here, Basket hall is now one of the most popular winter sports at West Point, as if is at most of the larger universities. Largely through the efforts of Lieutenant Koehler, the game received recognition from the Army Athletic Association last fall. I he management immediately prepared an ambitious schedule. Practice before Christmas, however, was rather unsatisfactory, as a number of the players were having difficulty with their studies. Nevertheless two games were played: one with Newburg, which was won 46 8; and one with Princeton, which was lost 14 5. In the latter the score stood 5 4 n favor of the Army at the end of the first half, but in the second the condition of the I rince-ton men told, and they won handily. Since the first of January, a close contest was lost to the Intercollegiate Champions, Columbia, 29-25, and one taken from Colgate, 10-8. There are several hard games yet to be played which ought to get the team ready to beat Harvard, which has been made the objective of the season. The schedule follows: December 10 Newburg V. M. C. A. December 17 Princeton lanuary 7 Columbia January 14 Colgate lanuary 21 Newburg Consolidated January 28 Second Signal Corps February 4 Vale Graduate Team February 18 Inhibition Came February 25 Harvard The team consists of the following men: fonuar s Merchant, 1905 Center Tompkins, 1905 Rockwell, L. C., 1907 Jonhs, R. ., 1906 Castle, 1907 Ki.ting, 1908 @uart 8 Hktkick, 190ft (Capt.) .S'uMtittucfl Higlby, K 08 Smith, R. H., 1908 .tUanaQer Mathews, 190ft .87Hockey Team, 1904II-' TIIKRK is :i winter sport in which the Corps should excell it is hockey. We have ice a plenty; on the river, the reservoir, and in the basins at reveille. And as for clubs and skates; the knocking that is done is not limited to the “Puck. Nevertheless it was only last winter, that the game gained firm foothold. This we owe to the efforts of Cadets Bartlett, L. R., ’05 and Worcester, 04, and to the cooperation of Captain King and Lieutenant I.yster. The schedule resulted as follows: Newburg . 1 Army • 7 Moiikgan 4 Army 1 Newburg An mm 4 Army 4 Holbrook . 0 Army X Kingston 0 Army 11 Riverview 1 Army X mong the teams to be played this winter are Columbia, 7th Regiment, Squadron A. Brooklyn Polytechnical Preparatory, Cutler School, St. Paul’s, Riverview Military Academy, Mohegan, Holbrook Military Academy, and Newburg Academy. With the rink on the plain and the cooperation of the (Quartermaster's Department we hope to better last year's record, and in the future, to establish West Point Hockey where it is possible for it to be the equal of all comers. Tbr Cram for 1904 Bami.ett, I.. R., ’05 (Caj t.) . . • Forward Rockwell, C. K., ’06 . . • • • Forward I'ornky, o6 Forward Barti.ett, (»., ’07 .... Forward Rogers, N. I , '07 . Forward Park, R., 07 . . . . Cover Fowl IIensi.ey, 05 Point Thompson, M. ll.,-’o6 • Coal 1 XgTHE edict that dress-coats shall he worn when spooning, marks an epoch in the history of tennis at the United States Military Academy. For—“lives there a man” whose perception is so blunted that he can not see the advantages of a gray shirt and tennis racket when lu sits in the shade of an Execution Hollow tree (no pun intended) with a pair of brown eyes or blue (who cares)- and smiles as “Dress-Coat Hill” goes by with his head up and his collar down ? Hut those who come to spoon remain to play, and the ever-increasing interest is sufficient tribute to the good |ualitics of the game. tTrnntc (Tournament oublrc Summer, 1904 Finals Hammond, J. $., and Earned vs. Winston and (Iibson. Winners- Winston ami (Jibson: 6 6-2, 6 4.The HOWI T Z E R Crntus Cournammt—Rummer 1904 Preliminary Round First Round Herring Lott Earned Sbedd Robins Cheney Everett Stedman Rut' erford Bubb T onus M« Neil Garrison, W. H. Garrbon. W. IE Morrison, W. 3. Holabird Holabird 6-0, 6- 3 Rice. E. F. Rice. E. F. Wilde 6-1, 3-0 Glassburn ( Default) Russell Russell 6-2. 6-0 Stewart Gib-on Gibson 6-2. 6-4 West West K.itnsev 6-t, 6-t C scary Geary Rockwell, E. C. 6-1. 6-1 McEveety McEveety Gillespie, H. S. 6-3, 6-t Doe (Isborne Osborne 4 6. 7 5- "4 Wimton Winston Roger?, V P. 6-0, 6-0 Porter Watson, II. B.irtlrtt, (I. Reisinger Hammond, J. S. Lang Humphrey, G. E. Ridley Bates Moose Peterson. |. C. Second Round Lamed 6-1,6-4 Shedd (Default) Cheney f» 5i 6-1 Sled.nan 1-1, 0-6. 7-5 Bubb b 4» 6-4 Garrison, W. H. 6-2. 6-3 Holabird 6-1.6-z 60. 6-1 Geary 6-1. 6-t McEveety 6 :. -3 Winston 6-2, 6 o Bartlett, G. 6-i, 6-3 Reisinger (Default) Humphrey,G. E. 6- 4, 6-2 Bates. 7- ?. 6-3 Peterson, J. C. 3-6, 6-4, 6 2 SINGLES Third Round Lamed 6-3, 6-o Stedman 8-6. 3-6, 6- 3 Garrison, V. H. 6-2, 6 1 Holabird 6-3. 6-8, 6-1 Semi-Finals Earned 6 3. Finals Winner Garrison, W, H. 4 5 (Default) Geary 6-0, 6-1 Winston 6-0. 6-o Reisinger (Default) Bates 3-6, 6-1, 6-4 Winston 6-2. 10-12. 6-2 Earned ‘ 7, 7 5 Winston 6-0. 6-0, 6-2 . Winston 61,6-1 Reisingyr 6-4. 3-6, 6-4 Consolation plapcU brtiurrn loorro in first rotinU of stnglrs Winner IIfkkiv;$3olo TUK interest taken in polo bv the class of 1905 has fa 1 exceeded that shown by any other class up to the present time. Polo has been played at the Academy during the past live years, but it was only in 1905 that ponies worthy of the name “polo ponies" came into the game. This added great impetus to the sport and to the class of 1904 belongs the credit of developing the first good team. In the spring of that year a number of western ponies were bought and the little practice that 1904 gave them put them in good condition for our class. To qualify at hitting the ball was our first ambition. The enthusiasm with which this was undertaken was shown early in the summer by the number of men who were to be seen on the cavalry plain every afternoon on cavalry horses practising swinging the mallet and bitting the ball. I bis was soon attained bv a few of the most enthusiastic. The number of those qualified gradually increased and, after some days of practice on the ponies, teams were chosen and the first games played under the instruction of Colonel Treat. During the latter part of the summer and throughout the fall the work continued, ending with a match game between two selected teams. W e are greatlv indebted to Colonel I teat for bis instruction and the constant interest be has shown. He is himself an excellent horseman and a polo plaver who has few equals. I o him is due the credit for introducing the game at the cademv. and to bis efforts and to those of Captains MacDonald and Marshall we are indebted for what success we have attained. Those who Barber Caffery Carter, A. II. Corbin-Dickey played throughout Dii.lman Dodds K.n dress Hammond, |. S. Hanford the season were: Hf.nslky Kean Ki.emm I .owe Lyman Maddox Scon, C. I.. Talbot Thomas West, W. W. 192The privilege of wearing the initial “A” (for Armv) on the sweater, jersey, jacket, cap or other article of athletic uniform, shall be restricted to those cadets who have actually played on an Academy team (first team) during one year as follows: 1°. Football Two-thirds of all games played with outside teams, or a championship game. 2°. H as fball Two-thirds of all games played with outside nines, or a championship game. 3°. Fencing—Three-fifths of all contests fenced with outside teams, or the Intercollegiate Contest. 4°. To those Cadets who at the outdoor “meet” shall break an Academy record. Class of 1905 Footbai.i. Bartlett, L. R., Daly, Doe, Graves, Hammond. T. Y Tipton and Seagrave. Baseball Albright. Gardiner, J. B. Y , Graves, Herring and Winston. Record Hammond, J. S., Holderness and Upham. Fencing- Barber. Class of 1906 Foot it a i i Gillespie, A. G., Mettler, Rockwell, C. k., and Forney. Baseball Rockwell, C. K. Class of 1907 Foot it a 1.1 Hill, R. C , and Watkins. Baseball Pritchett. Record Watkins. Class of 1908 Football Davis, R. H., F.rwin, Garev, K. B., Hanlon, Prince, and Weeks. II. |.1 94 The H C) W I T X E R V(abkiis 01 mi “A” ok riiK C'iass of hio?Acli, Louis! At St. Louis YY got soaking Wit am! gooey! We’ll remember You Missouri— Your name’s mud. Thick and gluey. DAME RUMOR is ;i sorrv jade, and often lias she played us false. She visited our “plebeian" couches with sweet, insinuating speech and delicious promises of a "six-weeks’ furlough in Yearling summer." In the drear, unhappy night she soothed the third class buck as he walked bis lonely tour, with tales of a happy end of camp at Fordham Heights; and even the sophisticated first classman, despite bis frequent disappointments, writes letters home of “an increase in the Artillery and graduation in February." Yerilv she is "Our Lady of Illusions." So we "burnt children" refused to believe we were going to Saint Louis until the day before our departure when the mounting ’mong grooms of the Koch clan gave verin to the onlv true rumor that ever was current.77;,• H O W I T E R ■97 It was on the merry morning of the twenty-eighth of May that we said good-hye to Astronomy, “Cal-cule,” C. Smith and L. P.’s—only the latter followed ns. With our nice little boxes of blue and brown, and the inevitable Khaki bedding roll, we entrained and remained “under the personal direction of- ”. ith no Baedeker but our implicit trust in our “personal conductor,” and no food but the fortuitous subsistence of way-stations, we still fared better than the usual train load of live stock the only other beings who are the objects of equal solicitude and the recipients of equal personal attention. The morning of our arrival we started for our alleged camp at 6:30 as per schedule; but the Artillery Corps was conducting our movements, and thought a thorough reconnaisance of the whole terrain was absolutely necessary before breakfast. We marched around the grounds and then through them. The “personal conductors” having found no Indians, finally brought us to the Inside Inn for breakfast. Our old friend, mine host Statler, gave us his usual rotund welcome who was it said that a man could always find a welcome at an inn? After breakfast the order to fall in was immediatelyThe 11 O W I T Z E R 199 “ Strff.ts of Cairo number, as it led to the Petroleum Alps, a n 1 t b e Petroleum A I p s was our dearest friend throughout our stay. At noon we buckled on our overshoes, donned our ponchos, and took part in the Decoration Day parade. We passed the rev iewing stand in step with three bands, the •count of half a dozen given. “ What!“ growled “ Bull” Tipton, in vain quoting his “pied,” Jack Falstaff, “Shall I not take mine ease in mine inn ?” Arrived in our camp-to-be, we found a beautiful clay bank interspersed with trees. Presently it began to rain, and continued almost without cessation during the rest of our visit. W hen, as rarely happened, we were favored with an hour's sunshine, the dense shade prevented drying. Compared with this, Deucalion's experience was an incident, and Noah’s “as a tale that is told.” There was water everywhere, but the only drops to drink were of the medicated variety, which had passed the hospital corps’ inspection. There was also mud everywhere mud beneath us. a muddy, murky skv above us, mud to the west of us, and, to the east of us, mud and station No. 13. The latter proved a most lucky “SfNDAY ArriRNOflN "200 The H C) W I T Z E R tile closers, and the patter of multitudinous raindrops. Fortunately the next two days were without striking incident. Drill, consisting of setting up exercises, was held in the mornings for the benefit of a nurse girl and a policeman. In the afternoons we started for the parade ground at three o’clock in order to arrive bv six. I he customary maddening crowd of nurse girl and policeman, occasionally supplemented by a small dog, was there to cheer us on to out-warlike efforts. Our evenings were spent on the Pike. This really deserves special mention. It was the only part of the Fair we saw, and it was very enjoyable. The Alps head the list by natural precedence. There we found a delightful orchestra, pretty fraiileins. and much to eat. hen the Tactical Department became too superfluous, the Marvard-Yale-Princeton Club threw open its hospitable doors, and there might the timid cadet enjoy his dinner unmolested. Next in popularity was probably the Scenic Railway. The great game was to collect a crowd of Filipinos and start them down the chute. How they would yell! The Bohemia, Cairo. Airship, and other attractions had their ardent admirers, and we all voted the I’ike a success. F.over.as CavalryThe H C) VV I T Z E R 20 1 The Missouri Day parade will be a landmark in the memory of man). We tramped all morning trying to keep step with our shadows, halted for unknown causes, marched on, passed the reviewing stand at the Missouri building, and followed such a long route to camp that we ran into a shower and the Inside Out for dinner. After marching back to camp we felt the call of the wild, and a parade in the rain took place in the Company streets. What ?—the uniform ? Listen: In Von Troll’s excellent History of Iceland there is a chapter headed -The Snakes of Iceland. And the sole contents of the chapter are the words, 'There tire no snakes in Ireland. Blush, dear reader, for Mutatis Mutandis, this describes the Corps’ uniform in this impromptu ceremony. The receptions in the Kentucky and New York buildings were delightful, and gave us a glimpse of what the Saint Louis we didn t see might be like. To Miss Moselle Price and to the Exposition Management respectively we are indebted for these pleasant entertainments, and we take this opportunity t » express our sincere appreciation. On June ninth, we turned our weary faces homeward, with many a dry eye in the crowd. The waitresses, dear things, wept as we marched away, and the marines, God bless ’em, cheered us on our way to the station; and we felt that we were going home, going to graduate, going to camp, going to furlough. We had felt strange in our surroundings at Hist and were only becoming accustomed to them when we left. Possibly another week would n have worked wonders in our feelings who knows.' Breaking CampSaturday Inspection I RANCH as it may seem, we entered Camp Horse without the usually attendant rain storm—a phenomenon doubtless traceable to the fact that our friendtherainmaker was misinformed as to the date. Whatever the cause, we were all duly thankful that we were permitted to begin our summer housekeeping on dry land. After a few days deadbeating, the usual delightful schedule of drills began, including the customary “double time” under the leadership of the silver-tongued F.aglet with the rising inflection. Our summer school of vocal culture was a “howling” success; we learned new and wonderful stunts with our voices and a “corking” way of giving commands. The “Bull Pen" furnished the usual amount of enjoyment—to the “gallery.” Above the roar of stamping steeds could ever be heard that “soothing” voice pitifully crying, “Lean back! Its just like sitting in a rocking-chair! Oh, there he goes, he’s going to fall off! I know he is! There!’ —and then a dull, sickening thud and Peterson slowly emerges from the ash pile. Engineering drill got to be a hobby with Nineteen-five. Chip Hawes even put in a permit to go down to the Dock in the afternoon to work on the spar bridge. In every department we distinguished ourselves. Owen Albright was declared The “ Bi'i i- Pen204 The H () W 1 T Z E R “champion balk carrier," Rupert Dunford perfected his famous “tackle block” formation, and some of the knots that “Bullet” Cattery tied have not been hived by the Kngineer Corps yet. One especially difficult feat which we mastered was filling bags with sand and then carrying same several hundred yards to find out how much they weighed. Of course after many repeated explanations we all finally understood that they did not require us to lift the heaviest things that could be found within the limits of the reservation just for the sake of “soireeing” us; but in order that we might “learn how.” Of target practice we had a plenty. Or more correctly speaking we found our names quite often enough on that derail; for this did not always Target Practice, t»oo Yards mean target practice. On the contrary, our share of the “firing" was generally limited to a five-hour “ bake” in the butts. Withthesun blistering our necks, and the greater part of the gravel on top of the butts finding its way down our backs at every ricochet, can you wonder that such messages as, “The last hit on No. i was a miss” often found their wav over the telephone ? Another enjoyable feature of this duty was performing the functions of a wet sponge for the “stickers.” Although each “sticker" did not have “ Lowney " stamped upon it, we can safely say that the confectionery on the back of it is without equal. Its taste, like the poor, we always had with us. After a turn in the butts no one was ever known to refuse slum. During the summer we had in our midst a representative of theThe HO W I T Z E R 2°5 modern Department Store-“Jubble.” Without doubt he was the most advertised man in camp. His name was on every lip throughout the day, and far into the depths of the night one could hear that oft-repeated cry, K-a-r-l-y! Our camp also witnessed the Hrst “legitimate” smoking in many generations. No longer did the once dreaded cry, “Lights out!” strike terror to our hearts and no longer did we have to dig graves in our “back yards" to bury skag butts. , I J Of course with such butterflies as Tom Hammond, Benny beild, Doug. McKay and Ramsey in the class, its spooning reputation could not suffer. It was a common sight to see Dallam, gloriously resplendent in bis brass buttons, tripping gaily from camp to win the smile of his lady in some secluded spot on “Flirtation.” I he “golf stunt was worked overtime, until Prosser got skinned for “in athletic costume with only one golf stick and no golf balls.” To tell of our “Minor Tactical Problems,” midnight rolls, color-line concerts and “!)" Company’s birthday party would require volumes, which the Howitzer has not to spare for this article. Towards the close of camp the question arose as to how we should bring it to a fitting climax. There were discussed at great length the time-honored “Camp Illumination,” a circus, a minstrel show, a Pike and a german. An “illumination” was too much work after our six or eight days of practice marches, cavalry “hikes,” et cetera, and the circus fell through because “Dutch” Klcmm and "Lena” F.ndress could not decide which of them « Fire”206 The H O W I T E R should be “clown ” and which “ringmaster.” We could not have a minstrel show because Halsey Dunwoody might want to sing; and as for a “Pike” well, what would a Pike be without a “Bohemia” and a “Tyrolean Alps” ? So a german was decided upon. It sounded like a pretty nice thing, and it was. Cullum Hall was made into a bower of beauty. From the north side to Battery Knox was a perfect canopy of light and color composed of arches and drapings of soft hunting, and myriads of Japanese lanterns, large and small. The lights in the lower hall were all shaded, making a beautiful “TvUN Ovt T»«r. Giard! The Omrr.it or the Day! ' contrast to the brilliancy of the ballroom. On either side of the ballroom were the tables piled with artistically arranged favors, and in the center was the great May pole and its many-colored streamers. With her glistening floor reflecting all these beauties Old Cullum never looked prettier and never had she beheld a worthier or happier crowd than that gathered within her walls this evening, to lighten our hearts and bring the summer merrily to a close. When the last note of music had died away and the last good-byes hadThe H () W I T Z E R 20 7 been said; and when for rhe last time, we strolled by the guard tents and into the silent streets of Camp Forse, we could not but feel deeply the passing of this epoch in our cadet hie. The summei had meant much to us individually, but it meant infinitely more to us as a class. It meant that intimate association which leads A“P. s. Picnic to the appreciation of one’s fellowmen—and the stronger welding of that bond of fellowship which holds us one to another, and is destined to endure forever.ON the morning of the twenty-first of August there was a hurrying to and fro in Camp Forse. In the company streets and in the general parade all was com- motion bedding was being rolled, field kits packed, and everywhere cadets were running hither and thither. Some were swearing because they had left an article out of their blanket rolls, others were tearing their hair tryingto think of something else to pur into theirs. Over in “F” Company the “Sooner' was busy borrowing tin cups, meat cans and the rest of bis equipment from yearlings and plebes. The cause of this unusual activity was the advent, at last, of the Reconnaissance Trip, with which “rumor” had been threatening the first class all summer. To most of us it came “Starring'The H C) W I T Z E R 209 as a pleasant diversion, in spite of the long faces that Benny Feild and a few others were wearing at the prospects of two whole day’s absence from Cullum Mall and Flirtation. By seven o’clock we were on the road. The tents, bedding and other luggage were hauled in large canvas-covered wagons, while we ourselves, armed with sketching cases, notebooks, compasses and pencils, were mounted on whatever we had happened to draw from the Cavalry stables. The story of our attempts to manage some of these brutes, and at the same time make artistic landscape sketches, is one of such trials and hardships that we frankly confess the descriptive powers of our pen are unable to do it justice. Odomci t. k ? Barometer ? Bearing? One man states that in his squad alone there were such prizes as Fulton, Strong, London and Augur; and that he himself was saved from complete annihilation only by being allowed to dismount at the stations to read the odometer. We may add that, had it not been for the short halt at noon, which to some extent resuscitated our departing spirits, it is our earnest belief that this article would have been handed down to posterity in the form of an obituary. Our lunch consisted of a mess-hall “substantial” supplemented by a can of antiquated salmon and one large onion! I hat our digestive organs were able to successfully survive this ordeal is doubtless due to the fact that we were being constantly employed and getting plenty of “exercise.2 I O The H O W I T Z E R Ar Camp “ Ko-Ko” Dumguard Herring says that after riding “Strong” for half a day a man can digest anything. The journey in the afternoon "'as but a continuation of the misery of the morning. About four o’clock we arrived at Camp “ Ko-Ko. After pitching tents, which was mere play compared to riding a piledriver for eight or nine hours, we were “soirced” an hour or so on our notebooks and “maps”; hut as no two of them could he made, either by us or the eng -neer officers, to show any signs of similarity, the task was at last abandoned in despair. At supper that night we got our first “taste” of field cooking; each man cooking his own rations over an “open work” fireplace. The service was strictly table d'hote, wi h bacon and potatoes as the main fry and canned goods for desert. In view of our tired and worn-out condition, the officers in charge assumed that we would all he too glad to get to sleep after supper; and, in fact, we had no other thought, considering the wild and unfrequented looking place in which our camp had been located. But Presto! a rumor! about a mile and a half away there was a dance going on at a big summer hotel! In a moment everyone was full of energy and excitement. With a dash and a few “hi-yi’s” the entitc camp stampeded across the creek and charged up theThe H O W I T Z E R 2 I I Km ms Pot ur. hill, led by Mike () Donnell and “Slew Merritt. We found the dance in full swing, and like true “goats” butted right in and introduced ourselves. It was truly a capture by storm we gave no time for a demonstration of defence and granted no quarter—everybody had to dance. The feature of the evening was a square dance in which “Bill" Motlow and “Scrapper” Henslev especially distinguished themselves. About ten o’clock some disoid called the floor to attention and stated that we ought to pull out and get back to camp, as it was about time for taps. squad was detailed to take him to the nearest tree, and the dance went on. Things were now keyed up to the top notch. Kven Jones, I). C. had dropped his dignity and was “swinging corners” with complete abandon. The girls, too,were getting enthusiastic. Such remarks as these were common: “Mr. Slum, is Mr. Bullet over there? I think he’s such a nice man, don’t vou r” “No, I have this next dance with Mr. Sep.” “Mr. Dumguard, I do think you cadets look so neat in vour pretty uniforms.” (The uniforms we had on consisted of gray shirt, plain inexpensive black tie, campaign hat, leggins, riding trousers that had seen two years’ “hard” service, and a good heavy coat of dust, grime and horse.) About one o’clock the musicians began to show signs of fatigue, and a few minutes later they fizzled out completely. And as the landlord was also beginning to look anxious, we rounded up the spoonoids (with the exception of "Dutch” Kunzig and a few others who just couldn’t break away), bade the gills good-bye, and slipped away almost as suddenly as we had arrived.2 1 2 The H O W I T Z E R We sneaked into camp about 2 a. m. and waked up the sentinels; and the second relief was posted, having gotten an absence of only about five hours. The rest of us turned in, some in tents, some in the “Company street.” Becky Sharp insisted upon sleeping on the bare ground with all his clothes on, claiming that a good soldier in the field always holds himself ready for instant action. A few seconds after we had fallen asleep, reveille sounded and we crawled out into ranks, displaying all the various stages of a cadet’s toilette from pajamas to “no while shirr.” The homeward trip was but a reproduction of the horrors of the day before, magnified about ten-fold. We were even glad to see dear old West Point again. It had already been unanimously decided that if this was the kind of work upon which the engineers thrived, the “dough-bovs" was the place for us. CuffsTVXEDO I. Place—Corner of “D” Co. street and General Parade, Camp Korse. I imk I'he evening before. Bullet Caffery: “ Dogged if this ain’t a run on the eagle. Heah I drew first choice and took Ogden; and "bat did the doggoned scoundrels do but assign him to the surgeon. N°vv I Pot r r de either Augur or an artillery plug. It’s a shame!—?!—!! ?— • II. Place: Cavalry Plain. Time— I'he eventful morning, 6:$o A. M. Dramatis Persona- Cavalry plugs, Cadets, lacs in ( harge, Femmes, Spootioids, Ye Yearling Corp. Plug: “Well what on earth sort of a drill is this, and what kind of contrivances are the Cadets bringing out of camp to put on us now? Ob, I see. They’re nothing but the old saddles with a big roll on behind for a back-rest and two long sticks fastened crosswise to bold on to. I bet Mr. Graves invented that after I policed him in the ‘bull-pen.’ Great Scott! They've got tin cans and all sorts of things fastened to the saddle, too. Just look at old General Thomas, over there! Isn’t be killing with all that contraption on?” (Laughter.) Tac: “All regulations will be strictly observed.” Cadet: “Captain, may 1 go back to camp to get my tent poles?” Femme: “How much like real soldiers they do look. Suppose they were really going to war!” (Shudders.) Spoonojds: “Good bye, little girls, good bye!” Yearling Corp: “Now, I’m it.” '3214 The H C) W I T Z E R III. Place- On the road. Gait—Slow trot. Temperature—i$o° in the shade and no shade. Observer—The man at the rear of the column. Results—DUST. Color,yellow. Streaks, blue streaks mostly. Composition, choke dust. Occurrence, uniformly distributed. IV. Place—Village of Arden. Time—Dinner. Dramatis Persons: Horseholdcrs, Cooks, “Queen Lil” tyrant Captain of “A” troop. First Horseholder: “Sav, Lil, why don’t they let us tie these horses and get something to eat ?” Lil: “Well, vou’II stay right there and hold them until you get orders to go." Second Horseholder: Say, Lil, there is a fine creamery up on the hill; can I go up and see what’s doing?" Lil: “No. you can stay right where you are until you’re told to go. Cooks: “Turn out, Horseholders, and get your rations!’’ Chorus: “At last!” V. Place—Tuxedo Park. Time—5:30 P. M. (Natives taking a look at the “animals.”) First Native: “Nice looking camp.” Second Native: “Yes. but what funny little tents. No wonder they call them “dog” tents. First Native: “Did you see them grooming their horses?” Second Native: “Yes, apparently their maiden attempt at handling a currycomb some of them used it more like a monkey wrench.”The H O W I T Z E R 215 First Native: “Hello! They arc off for a swim. Shall we walk over?” [They walk over.] First Native : “ Well, what a lot of Brownies they are. One wouldn’t think---” (“ Dooze" appears in lady’s red bathing suit, “a creation ” with gorgeous white ruffles, and purple “googoos en pompadour.” He is immediately surrounded by Cadets, and receives a tremendous ovation. The Natives take to the woods.) VI. Peace—Same, near “Round House.” Time — laps. C). I), (reporting to (). C.): “All are absent, sir." VII. Time—Same. Scenes—Tuxedo Club, Rip Van Winkle Club, Henry Hudson Club. Report: “All are present, sir.” VIII. Time—3:00 A. M. Scene—Picket Line. [Rain pouring down in steady drizzle, picket line pulled up and horses slowly but surely kicking their way to the lake. ‘‘ Jimmy Hoop Dickey has walked three successive tours because he can not recollect the name of the next sentinel; and finally, in desperation, resolves to post the fir$t man he can get awake.] IX. Place—Company street. Time—Three minutes later. Dickey (approaching a tent): “Hey, wake up!... .Is that you Jubble ? ___jubble, wake up! Get up here, you should have gone on post an hour ago.....Hurry up, you arc getting an absence. (No response.) Jubble!The HOWITZER 21 6 Get up! (kicking him) time to go on post. I he horses arc pulling up the picket line.” Jubble: “Hum m....(), I'm sickL...O, help! help!....Too late! Too late! O, I’m sick... .What rivah is this heah I’m in ? O, I’m sick.” [Falls hack into bed with a splash. Dickey, aware that something must be done, aids the unfortunate to his feet and gives him a starter toward the picket line.] Dickey: “Walk a little, Jubble, and you’ll feel better.” X. Place- Picket line. Time- Five minutes later. [A strange figure is ambling along the picket line with that unmistakable Jubble gait. Around the upper part of his body, a blanket is wrapped, describing a cone with vertex about two feet above his head.] First Horse: “What would you call it, Lindsay?” Second Horse: “Search me. It seems to be alive on the inside.” Figure: “Oh, I’m sick!" Echo (from Bishop’s tent): “Oh, I’m sick.” Figure: “O o h! W’haz. that?" Water: “Splash—splash—splash Echo (from Lent ’ tent): “Splash—splash—splash Picket Line: “Haw! Haw! Haw!” XL Time—About 4:30 A. M. Place—Near camp kitchen. Weather—Same. [Group of Cadet cooks huddled under a tent fly.] First Cadet: “ Say, it’s a shame to let the Captain carry all that wood.” Chorus: “ I think so, too. Why don’t you go and give him a hand ?” Second Cadet: “Let’s draw straws to see who goes.” Chorus: “I’ll hold the straws.” Capt.-----: “Stand aside, gentlemen; this wood must be under the fly or you will never get a fire started." [Exit.]The HO WIT Z E R 217 Chief Cook “Bill” Emerson (exercising his lungs on the flickering lire) ”() o o ! Dough bovs for me o o o o! I’ll never ask for another cook detail o o o !—seems to me I have a permanent detail. Where’s Si Merritt and Dutch Klemm ? They were detailed last night. Guess I’ll go rush them out.” XII. Place—Same. 1'ime- One hour later. [The cooks are dishing out the breakfast, which consists of a cup of lukewarm coffee, one hard-tack, and one little shrivelled up slice of bacon. All attempts to keep the cadets in line have failed and they are beginning to press in hungrily on all sides.] First Cadet (from “Yankee land”): “Pa-don me, but cawn’t I have another piece of the poahk?” Second Cadet (from the West): “Here, divy up with another sliver o' that stuff there!” Third Cadet (from the North): "Don’t care for any more, thanks." Fourth Cadet (from the South): “Look heah, I sho mils’ have another piece o’ that sow-belly!” XIII. Time—About 1:00 P. M. Sceni Officers’ row. West Point. (Thank Heaven!) Femme (walking with Yearling): "Oh, look at those soldiers coming there! Don’t they look awful? How dreadful and shabby soldiers can look sometimes. What a difference there is between them and you Cadets. They could at least pur their hats on properly crease them and take off those horrible looking muddy rubber things it isn’t raining now. Who are they, for heaven’s sake?’’ Yearling: " I hey are the first classmen returning from I uxedo Park. Femme: “They really don’t look so bad as I thought—there is a jolly-looking fellow with a smile! Who is he?” Yearling: “ I hat is Mr. Dusenbury.” Femme: “Oh. I’m crazy about him—will he be at the hop, tonight ?”NOW in the reign of King Albert ;it West Point it came to pass that the King spake to his faithful Scribe in this wise. “Get thee thy tablets of stone that there may be written upon them the commandments o! thy King." nd the Scribe did as he had been bidden. And the King lifted up his voice and said, "let there be inscribed upon the tablets of stone the following: Oh! ye five score and fifteen men who have journeyed many weary miles across the mountains from West Point to the westward and who. today, return again! Give ear and hear. For these are the words of King Albert. Your King. Ye shall gird up your loins and array yourselves with costly raiment, and journey to the dwelling place of R. P. in the land of the Tottenites, which is a day’s journey to the southward. And ye shall there tarry till 1 bid ye return." And when the tablets had been written they were carried to the King. And the King saw that they were good. But when the tablets were read, lo! the King’s men lifted up their voices and wept. “Are we not already footsore and weary?" But the men knew of old that R. P. was a goodly man. So an end was made of their sorrow. And on the morrow, which was the Sabbath day, the men of the King did go down to the bank of the mighty river at West Point, and lo! at the foot thereof was a ship made of gopher wood with pitch within and pitch without. And the length thereof was three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits and the height of it thirty cubits. And the King saw that it was good. And the men did enter the ship, two of a kind, the good and the bad. And the captain commanded that thev cast oft'anchor, and they did. Now the speed of the ship was great so that while the sun was yet four hours high in the heavens the men of the King did arrive in the land of the Tottenites. 218The HOWIT Z F. R Now upon a plain on an high hill there were tents pitched for the men. And their hearts were glad for they thought their labors were to cease. nd some of the men went forth to explore these strange regions. They saw the water on the north of them and water on the east and also upon the west. Hiit to the south they saw not water but the land, and this was the land of the Tottenites. nd the maidens of the land were fair to see, hut this was the Sabbath day. So the King’s men were restrained. They were weary, and lay themselves down to slumber. And they slept. And this was the Hist day. But on the morrow they arose before the cock crew thrice and girt up their loins and were glad. Now it came to pass that he whose name was Swish did divide the young men into three legions, each to the number of Pita.” one score and eighteen. The Hist legion was composed of the men that are called tenthoids, the third legion of men called goats, while the second was without glory, being a medium of happiness between the two extremes. And lo, on the second day, the third legion did wend its way to Hit A where mighty engines of war were secreted from the sight of the foe, and he whose name was Hasbeen, son of Kolbeen, was in charge of all; and he did endeavor to teach the Young Men how to work the wondrous machines. But the Goats desired to gambol on the grassy slopes, and indulged in much horse play; so that Hasbeen waxed exceeding wroth and did tear his hair and swear lustily, which caused mirth amongst the Young Men. In the course of the exercises Hasbeen spake thusly, “ Load!" and the Goats did run with exceeding swiftness in all directions, returning ere long with divers implements,except220 The H () W I T Z K R Tin Other LkcionsToii-eo Likewise one V u n g Man whose surname was Bhulithead, short of stature and broad of girth, who delayed, yea, even to t h e space of one hour. And Hasbeen did search him out in the innermost recesses of the caverns and besought him to B’ache his Absence. And Bhulithead opened wide his mouth and spake, “Sire, thou didst direct me to carry out yon strange object which is of the weight of many stone. Anon. 1 shall do so. but not till I grow biggah. Sab." And Hasbeen was sore displeased and did march the Young Men back to their tents, swearing many strange and curious oaths, which amused the Young Men mightily. Now the other legions toiled likewise. The first was captained by a warrior of great renown a n d large dimensions, in the waist two yards about, surnamed “ Pot;” and he did lead them to strange lands where also w e r e mighty engines of w a r governed b y “ Bhaikor,” a chief tan of good repute, w h o treated t h e Young Men wisely and well. And the hearts of the tenth- '‘Mighty Engines or War”The H O W I T ZER 22 1 “Tut Ark ok R. IV oids were full to overflowing with happiness. And the- second legion was captained by Tomas, the Chief of the Quills, who did conduct his men of the second legion to some exceeding high rowers, which overlooked the land, the sea, and all that on them w a s . And many marvelous truths were made known to them. On the night of the second day the Young Men did garb themselves in their coats of many buttons and sally forth to invade the surrounding country, and lo, many ills befell them. At Gala Park and at the Beach of the North, they did encounter many L. P.’s, who cried aloud in their joy, and did seek by many wiles to ensnare the Young Men of the West Points. When the sun rose on the third day, and the legions had assembled. Swish did make speech to them in this wise: “ Kncompassing us round about is much water, therefore it is meet that you should be cleansed. Go ye all and sport in the water, yea, even now, but stray not to the regions where bathe the maidens of the Tottcnites. If any amongst you knoweth not where the maidens are wont to swim, let him hold converse with Tomas, the Chief of the Quills, who knoweth well the spot.” And the Young Men sought out Tomas and smote him hip and thigh for preserving such a secret; and straightway hied them to the place. Awaked on the morning of the fourth day by the silvery sound of the trumpet, the legions formed and were conducted to the ark of one R. I . a warrior of commanding presence, and long in knowledge of all kinds; and he did prepare for the Young Men a wondrous machine called a MINE, which he did sink in the water to a goodly depth. R. P. was in a smaller vessel at a distance of two hundred cubits from the u hocdi KAisr.R ’! ark, and in plain view. Suddenly he arose and222 The H O W I T E R shouted “ Hoc-dekaiser!” a n d lo! a mighty column of w a t e r arose to an exceeding g r e a t height; and the Y o u n g M e n stood aghast and murmured unto themselves saving,“What manner of man is this, w h o c a n cause such mira cles to happen!” And they returned to the land, deep in thought. At eventide Tin v Didn't Starve the Young Men of West Point, arrayed in seemlv raiment, betook themselves to the festival hall of the Tottenites, where one score and nine maidens had assembled to welcome them; but alas, were not the Young Men to the number ol live score and fifteen, and behold jealousy became rife. And those who were called P. S.’s in their own country banded together and murmured unto themselves saving, “ Arc we not the chosen ones ? Let us unite and cause the others to seek the tall pines,” which they did. and the P. S.’s saw that it was good a ml rejoiced thereat. hftsoons, it came to the ears of Swish that his Young Men did slink from the camp at night and revel in the surrounding country. So he did call his Captains to the number of six unto him and spake rhusly:“Ye shall go through the camp, one ol ye each hour, and see that the Young Men are all present, and if perchance any shouldst be absent inscribe his title on the List ol Skins.” And the Captains departed to do his bidding; hut the Young Men heard and took council, saying, “ Forsooth, ris a strange proceeding and waxeth interesting. e will remain in our tents and see the outcome thereof; and so they tarried all night, giving battle bravely as became their training, to the animals ol surpassing size, which were called Mosquitoes by the I ortenites. And the Captains did walk amongst the tents, yea. even unto the twelfth hour, hut were rewarded not, and the Young Men did chide them lor their nocturnal habits.223 The H O W I T Z E R A vassal of the good King Albert having arrived bearing orders that the Young Men shouldsr return, the legions packed their worldly goods, and on the fifth day wended their way to the shores of the mighty river whereon the ark was moored, and began their journey to the north, passing through the regions of the New Yorks, a friendly tribe; and when the day was still young did reach their own country where they were welcomed with gladness by the maidens, and marched to their camp ‘midst the acclaims of the multitude and the tinkling of many cymbals.A SORROW’S crown of sorrow is remembering happier things.” Thus Tennyson interprets the great Italian; and the faithful Froissart of 1905 must needs chronicle that in the midst of many of the “little journeys” our chicfest pang was the memory of midafternoon slumber in barrack or tent. Rut there were philosophers among us. Barber the Adonis of the Pacific slope and Gibson the cheerful little globe trotter, men who always discern “Souls of goodness” in things evil. These bade us to cheer up—promising, “Hereafter, O comrades, it will be a pleasure to remember these hardships.” To aid this remembrance the chronicler rakes up his pen (the use of quill has been locally preempted) and tells the tale of 1905’s pilgrimages out into the world—the dangers they ran. their hardships and incidental joys—“all of which he saw and of much of which he formed a part.” It was on the nth of May, 1904, that the class gained .metropolitan ?lrt its knowledge of the arts, painting and sculpture. We were armed only with a butcher’s notebook, lead pencil, and a diagram of the buildings, which had a dotted line leading from gallery to gallery, indicating the highway of the masters and resembling a sketch in the Neu )'ork Journal, to show the trail of the murderer as he fled from the scene of his crime. Although our previous acquaintance with the arts had been largely obtained from stereopticon lectures by the “ P.”, so enthusiastic were we that in two hours, seven minutes and ten seconds allowing Barney time to take two extra ones with “hats off” every member of the class was arrayedThe HOWITZER 225 l orsc llOU) under the banners of either the classicists or romanticists and was ready to support his views with all the polemic dogmatism of his particular shade. A Rembrandt, whether signed or not, can not escape the highly-trained and critical eye of Thomas, and the passionless, pitiless Spaulding can distinguish a genuine Turner sea from its lurid copy, as far off as he can read a heliograph signal. The reports of the nip submitted to the Department of Drawing after our return will doubtless be given out to the public soon in a compiled volume, “prepared by----------under the direction of, etc." We understand that Finnan is at present working on the copy. Roger Powell went to the hospital, which was sufficient confirmation of the rumor that the first class would attend the Horse Show at Madison Square Garden. The object of this trip, as explained in numerous orders published prior to our departure, was to enable the members of the class to observe and study the line points of the horse with a view to a better understanding of, and more sympathetic dealing with the extravagant whims and extraordinary mental processes of some of the plugs in the cavalry stable. Notwithstanding that a few “horsey” men, such as “Dutch" Kunzig and "Mother" F.ddy manifested great enthusiasm over the animals exhibited, the best thing about the whole affair was the total absence of all formations and the inevitable red tape. “Benny” Feild and Le Roy Bartlett were left undisturbed in their grandstand promenades around the show-rings, and “Greaser" Bankhead, abandoned to his own dark machinations, succeeded in discovering a secret passage into the “behind scenes” of the Garden I heat re. I he officers in charge of the trip and the class were the guests of Mr. Fellowes, president of the Fair Association, at dinner in the Garden Cafe. In lieu of complimentary speeches, good strong class and Corps yells were given for Mr. Fellowes, who modestly responded. As we returned on the midnight local, some of us were amused and the remainder kept awake by “Willie" Miller’s "Old Grimes’ Mule” and other characteristic imitations. Four o’clock in the morning, dark as pitch, so cold that the Marconi Wireless despatches froze in transit and dropped as icicles on the roofs of houses,—such was the UMtcrtiltct Arsenal226 The H O W I T E R beginning of the Watervliet expedition under the direction of the Ordnanct Department. Kvcrybody got on the train with a grouch, and things might have turned out disastrously, had not ‘’Prince" Barzvnski cheered us up with a few timely grinds. Arriving at Albany, we were served with breakfast, which was much enjoyed by those whose appetites had survived the “live egg" formation at the Mess Hall. Cadet will eat almost anything, hut draws the line at eggs that have feathers on the inside. Immediately after breakfast we left on chartered trolley cars for the Arsenal, which we found running at full capacity; consequently there was a tremendous amount to see in a very limited time: lathes, reamers, diill-presses, shapers, steam-hammers, breech mechanisms of all kinds and innumerable machines of such intricate and complex construction that we could hut marvel at their almost human capabilities. We covered the extensive held of observation in two spasms morning and afternoon then returned to Albany for dinner in the depot, where our appetites again astonished the natives. I hc trip home on the W ayside Express was, as usual, enlivened by the rendition of the singoids complete repertoire of touching ditties, supplemented by (Jay’s curtain lectures on steel, and the star performances of the tail-end brakeman. liittir Journo’S Hct to be It is to he regretted that the last three of our Little Journeys occur too late to he recorded here, although they are, perhaps, the most momentous trips of the series. March the fourth, the Corps will be called upon to assist in the military demonstration at the Inauguration. The battalion organization will consist of four companies of infantry, a battery of field artillery, a troop of cavalry, and a mountain battery—constituting in fact, an independent strategical unit, reduced in numbers but complete in representation. We anticipate a very enjoyable “soiree," as the Corps is a I wavs well received in Washington; and the character of the event would seem to justify our expectations. I he Ordnance Department will take their second whirl at the class on a trip to Sandy Hook, where much fine powder will be burned to give practical illustrations in the deduction of a few very lucid equations in Exterior Ballistics.The H () W ITZE R 227 We are promised an opportunity to get seasick on the passage down the harbor and a healthy diet of wind-blown sand when we get there. I his trip will undoubtedly prove most interesting to the men who cherish hopes of a turkey-red stripe. Three days on the Gettysburg battlefield will give the Napoleon Bon-apartes a chance to tuck their right hands between the third and fourth buttons of their coats, pull their hats over their eyes, advance the right foot with knee bent, and survey, with silent contempt, the grand errors of those who really fought this mighty struggle. This trip ends “ Little Journeys ' for 1905. They have taught us many things which are not in the hooks and which some of us never would have learned otherwise, and they will continue to do so for succeeding classes, if those old boys of the alumni will come off their b'aching, just because they didn’t know little journeys. At rut Memo 1 01.1 tan Art MvskvmOXE ni«ihr about the middle of June, an old man, crossing rlie cavalry plain, met a Cadet resplendent in brass buttons and white trousers. I beg your pardon, but where are you going, if 1 may ask : said the man The Cadet starred from bis reverie. “Going ’ he said, “why. I’m going to my first hop. For one whole year I have been looking forward to this, and now it has at last come. But I can't stop to talk; I must hurry on.” nd be hurried on. The old man did not go far before he met another Cadet. “ I beg your pardon, but where are you going?” said the old man. “I ? I’m going over to the hop,” replied the Cadet. “My last before furlough. Hope they have a good feed. Anything to make the time fly, you know.” And he hurried on. The old man went on and soon met another Cadet, walking slowly as if in deep thought. W hen he asked him his question the Cadet looked up and slowly answered, “I am going to my last hop, my graduation hop. 1 did not expect this peculiar feeling of regret that has seized me I find there is quite a tender spot in inv heart for the old place, somehow.” And he walked slowly on. The old man continued bis walk and presently came to the monument. There be saw a Cadet in a blouse, sitting on the monument steps and gazing moodily out over the river. The old man approached him and said, “ ’ Pis a beautiful view you have here by moonlight.” “Yes,” laconically replied the Cadet. “Why aren’t you on the way to the hop?” “Oh, to Hades with the hop. What’s the use of going over there and dancing with a lot of L. P.'s? I’m tired of it. I’m going into first class camp tomorrow. Quite a pleasant prospect, bn’t i-?” And thus it has ever been. How well we remember our first hop. How-well we recall our feelings when, after a year of expectation. wt' looked with palpitating hearts upon the glistening floor of old Cullum, and thought with pride that for three years it was to be ours.230 The H () W I T Z E R In Yearling summer, it was here that we found surcease from the toil and worry of the day from double timing on the hot cavalry plain; from guard tours without end; from sweating on the target range, or from licking pasters until our tongues stuck to our teeth and our mouths tasted like a glue establishment. When the summer had gone and we were back again in barracks, the winter hops served to break the monotony of routine and to still the restless longing in our hearts for furlough and liberty; and after that delicious dream had vanished from out our lives, the) helped to turn our unwilling thoughts from the past and to reconcile us to the present. First class year was full to overflowing with illustrations of the influence of the hop room on Cadet life. At a hop Becky Sharp lost his class ring, and at a hop Freddie Baird renounced his vows of furlough. There our bashful Bloxham burst forth from his cocoon and charmed all by his ready wit and sparkling repartee. Dutch Kunzig was changed from a gawky bumpkin to a Chesterfield and the rhizopodal crab-like motion of Scrapper Hensley was transformed into the graceful stride of an antelope. Kven Titus came out of his shell; and before the summer was over I ritzie Manley was a confirmed devotee developing into a lightning-change artist in the love line. In the fall we saw the gridiron-scarred heroes come over to receive their just tribute- Graves, with an eye knocked our, keeping up a constant wink at the girl who was asking him, “Oh, how could you do it?” Doe with an ear pulled off and fast losing a leg to accompany it (bur, poor lad, he would never know it); Tipton swaggering in without a scratch and rolling around the hall with perfect nonchalance and braggadocio; Hammond, T., over only on “certain occasions”; and little Winkie Waugh, always there looking wistful. When Christmas time rolled around the memories of childhood came floating hack to us. and we had our Christmas hop around a beautiful tree set in the middle of the hall. The other lights were all turned out and, in our yuletide revelry we danced by the soft light from the tree. And now as our own graduation hop comes on apace we begin to feel that (jueer tinge of regret as we think of singing “Army Blue” for the last time in Cadet Gray. But the morrow’s brightness will mark the beginning of a glorious new epoch; and through it all we will look back on the hops and the friendships they have given us, as the flowers among the thistles of our Cadet life.£5-3:_' . ,S. ZZL. Cuuuw mSMMMMktmxmon“THE PIKERS A MUSICAL COMKDY PRKSKNTKI) BY The Dialectic Society of the United States Military Academy ONE HUNDRED DAYS TILL JUNE, 1905 Libretto by Wit liam FmnucH Fndrkss Score by Douglas Imrn: McKay Lyrics by Charles Stuart Dokavin William Faton Merritt, Stage Manager IIaISKY DunwoodY, Musical Director UunUrcUtb JQigbt Com mitt re l)oi'(iLA» Imrii: McKay William Fii hi i.h Endues Charles Stuart Don a vis Karl I)ain .»:k Klf.mm Fram is Bowditcii Wii.hv, President of the Dialectic Society “So far back that the memory of man runneth not to the contrary,” the first class started the peculiarly original custom of celebrating the passing of the last milestone in the long race to the coveted goal of Graduation. Thus it is that a hundred days before June, there is annually brought forward some sort of a theatrical effort. In “ye olden days” the crampedThe H C) VV I T E R 235 accommodations made the production necessarily limited. Then the scene of operations was shifted from the Dialectic r the Mess Hall, and the effort in the play line consequently blossomed forth. The end of our banquet (?) hall, in those days, was the stage, and with the aid of a few original artists and scenery painted to fit, there were produced some really clever and creditable shows. Now all is different,- over at Cullum we have a real stage, a real costumer, real scenery, and as a consequence give a real show. for the past few years we have had the talent and have taken the time (the latter far more scarce than the former) so that the idea of originality seems to have taken firm root. 1905 saw no reason for changing this plan. Last year’s effort was also a comic opera, “The Elopers.” It was thought to be a great success and it was. file music, written by a genius, was catchy and the show was well put on. To say that this year surpassed it would be all that could be asked, and yet this is just what it did. The caste, well selected, was splendid McKay as the Major, a part totally different from his previous fairy queens, nevertheless made a decided hit. He deserves credit for his interpretation of a part with a wide range. The comedy work of the two orderlies was as clever as anything seen in the good professional comic operas of the day. Kndrcss and Donavin should leave the army and take the place of Weber and Fields, since the latter are no more. They would make millions. (iallogly and Cianoe did their parts of “tacs” well; the latter showed again his talent and musical training in his vocal work, especially in his rendition of McKay’s original and beautiful love song, “Answer Me.” Donahue and Chilton were “cold max” femmes, just too “fiendish" for words; looked and acted their parts to perfection. Zephyr was good and Beavers, by his taking manner and by his songs, did exceptionally well in a part that was quite difficult. Klcmm in his role where “Money, money, money” was his motto had everything all his own way, even the audience. Henderson’s work with his catchy French solo was a great success, and next year’s First Class has a find in him. Marcey and Fulton unfortunately had to be omitted, due to the non-arrival of their costumes. There is one part of a comic opera that takes an untold amount of energy, thought and patience, and upon which everything depends—that is the chorus. This year it was in the hands of an able musical director who. with the help and conscientious work of each individual member, turned out a well-drilled and highly-finished chorus. In fact the whole show seemed to find its way into the heart of everyone of the vast audience which taxed Cullum to its elastic limit. Grinds, libretto, music took, and, as a result, 1905 8 night before the footlights was a howling success.♦Caste Major Dk Windt, an »I 1 blowhard, chief manipulator of the toys in the Nation’s Nursery..........................................Douglas I. McKay, Zephyr, his adopted daughter, a charming maiden, much in love with Man . . . . . . . . George W. Beavers, Jr.. Capt. Lantmorn, member of the Secret Service Agency, aide to the Major James A. Gallogly, Lieut. Sharp, another member, though he doesn’t swish around quite as much William A. Ganoe, Private Cody, orderly to Capt. Lanthom Charles S. Dosavin, Sergt. Schmkli.fr. orderly to Lieut. Sharp William F. F.ndrfss, Macananski, travelling sales agent for the Seadoot Store Karl I). Klkmm, Mrs. F.li.pee, an only only Viola, daughter of Mrs. Kllpee Cornetta, another chip off the old block Marcey, a recruit from the stock farm Fulton, another crowbait Charles I). Rogers, Walter K. Donahue, Alexander W. Chilton, William C. Miller, Charles C. Bankhead, °5 °7 '07 ’07 ’05 ’05 '05 °7 ’06 ’07 ’°5 ’ 5 ♦Chorus Country Girls, Pikers, Cadets, Orientals Lentz, ’05 Lane, W. E., ’06 Lowe, 05 Titus, ’05 Hensley, ’05 Russell, O. A., ’05 Henderson, ’06 Rose, W. W., ’of, Manchester, ’of, Yount, 07 Clark, B. F.., ’07 Dailey, G. F. ’07 Wyman, ’07 Davis, R. H., 08 Matile, ’08 James, A. L., ’08 Cutrer, ’08 Putney, ’08 Carroll, ’08 Baker, ’08 Kennedy, I). R., ’08 Everts, ’08 Goethals, ’08Opening Chorus ACT 1. Country Giri.s and Cadets Military Man Tub Major and Chorus Keep in Touch with What They Call Society Thh Major and Tacs, Mrs. Ki.lphe and Daughters “Ain’t it Funny ’ The Major Advice, A-d-v-i-c-e Cody and Schmeller, Tacs The High Mogul of Gossips . . . . Schmeller Finale—“Off to the Fair” . Caste and Chorus Chorus of Nations ACT II. Chorus oh Pikers and Orientals A Summer’s Secret Mr. Henderson and Chorus Skin, Skin, Skin Cody, Schmeller and Chorus Soldiering Orderlies and Macananski Answer Me . Lieut. Sharp and Viola Pleasure • . . . Zephyr and Caste Doubt .... ACT III Cody and Schmeller The Dead-Beating Genius Schmeller and Caste Out in the Rain and the Cold Zephyr Finale— . Caste and Chorus Mu»ic from the Yankee C'ounsul. Lyric l y Bernard la-ntz. Muiic from the Runaways. Lyrics by Bernard l ntz.238 The 11 O VV I T Z E R wrrnavto ACT ]. Sc ini: i. At Tuxedo during First Class cavalry raid. The cadets change their dinner with one t" which the Major has invited Mrs. F.llpee, her daughters, and the Tacs. W hen all are overcome hv the slum and coffee, and the Major has retired, the Cadets blow the Major into Zone 11. Scene 2. “The Morning Alter" at the same place. The Major returns piecemeal hut comes to life just before he is buried in the cold hard ground. He receives orders that the entire Corps will leave for St. Louis the following day. ACT II. Scene i. 1 he Like several days later. The Major gets the Orderlies to find a husband for Zephyr. Amidst the usual scenes of the Pike, the Orderlies arrange the wedding between Macananski and Zephyr, and she announces it to her family and friends. Scene 2. I he Streets of Cairo that evening. Under the blushing electric lights the dainty Zephyr wards the unwilling swain, Macananski. As the knot is tied the Orderlies decamp with the dowry often thousand dollars. ACT HI. Hack at Uell-on-Iludson. Lots of trouble for the Major. The Orderlies are caught and almost let out that the money was beer-checks. They are pardoned and the daughters forsake the l acs for tin )rderlies. Macananski is reconciled to Zephyr, and the Major having ended his greatest troubles announces his engagement to Mrs. Fllpee.240 The H C) YV I T Z E R Dn ittount (Olympus i sing; of the arms and tin- heroes, the men of 1905; Of arms, because they will hear them, of heroes, because they’re alive. When Jove, in his bounteous wisdom, bade Vulcan to fashion a helmet For Minerva, the sapiente goddess, he planned for the men who should wear it. Their motto for deeds wisely done. And looking adown the long vista Of time from the seat where he sat. he saw, as he pulled his side whisker. The world all expectant awaiting a year which was not in their ken; But which we now see was just this one, its wonderful body of men. He watched and he saw so much doing he called close around him his staff; And they looked on the wonderful progress, some with a sigh or a laugh. But soon this sweet family party was destined to wake from the dream. For Merchant, the ladies’ own darling, just then wandered out on the scene. And |uno, who just could not help it, emitted a sweet little sigh. Then Jove, with fury unbounded, turned on her with lire in his eye. And sent her to bed to forget it. But he needn’t have had any worry. For if she had wanted to catch him, she surely would have had to hurry; Because she had never worn corsets and had not a slight pedigree. And no one can dance just in sandals, therefore she must be an L. P. Old Vulcan was next disconcerted, and sputtered some very bad grammar. When Herring came leisurely strolling, bearing that horrible hammer. Old Vulcan went right out of business, but said lie would have just one look To see a man wield such a weapon, to lift which nigh ten men it took. Suddenly the warm-hearted Venus drew in a quick intake of breath. For Benny, the innocent lover, who could not tell life from death. Just blinked his big eyes on the scenery and seated himself on a rock Beside of the soft-flowing Hudson, and waited the oncoming shock; For Venus a header from heaven took down to the pool at his feet. Called loudly on Benny to save her. “ I’m drowning,” she said, just as sweet. But Benny, the thoughtful, said, "Nixie, I’m busy. Besides, don't you see. You’re naked, and if you came out here, I surely must climb up a tree.” So Venus was sore disappointed and sank down beneath the soft wave. And lies in the bed of the river for Benny, a watery grave!The H O W I T Z E R 241 Now during the next intermission “Slew” Merritt had honed up his Phil; And when he had boned it he knew it and then he went out for a kill. “Now Professor,” he said, “that explosion of Krakatoa was just great. The sound waves, you might say the wavelets, they travelled for years twenty-eight. And went round the world just ten times. I think they are travelling yet. And the waves when they got to mid-ocean, I think, sir, I think they got wet." And much more he said till Minerva got saddened with hearing so much She’d never before even dreamed of, got up, and sent for a crutch. The rest of the gods that were left there endured it as long as they could. Till finally all had to wander and go very deep in the wood. But soon there arose such a clamor, like fog horns a-blowing at sea, I'hat all the gods came in a hurry to see what the racket might be. It seemed as though cows were a-dying and all of the cows in the land Were wailing and sighing in chorus for one of their loved bovine band. And then as they wondered and waited, all trembling at each harsher blast. Our Halsey came hungrily singing to two cringing hearers in grasp. At this sight the gods took a tumble and all of them laid down and died. For Halsey, our wonderful singer, for Halsey, our joy and our pride. But soon these most direful noises died out in the sigh of the wind; The quiet of sweet summer woodlands reigned there in place of the din. But hark, o’er the soft still of summer is wafted a softer refrain, A voice which sounds off “ Double Time” floats up from the cavalry plain. I sing of the arms and the heroes, the men of 1905, Of arms, because they will bear them, of heroes, because thev’re alive.The H O W I T Z E R 242 Hour’s Contrtip Place—Ward Wheaton, Cadet Hospital, West Point, N. Y. Time—Jan. 17, 1905. Opening scene 10:00 A. M. Pkrsonn e: Cadet A, iu Classman Cadet B, i° Classman Cadet C, i° Classman Femme, visiting on post Yearling friend of femme’s Other patients in ward Surgeon Steward of hospital ACT I. [Inspection of ward by Surgeon.] Cadet A (in hospital with bad cold, to Surgeon): “Sir, I’d like to go to duty. I feel perfectly well." Slkchon: “Your voice sounds rather hoarse. !)• you think you can read the orders ?" Cadet A: "I have permission to get someone to read them for me, sir." Surgeon: “Then you think you are well enough?" Cadet A (very positively): “Yes, sir!!" Surgeon: “All right. Steward; duty 7:00 P. M." Cadet A (excitedly): “Sir, I would rather go at 12:45." Surgeon (inquiringly): “Prefer to go at 12.45?" Cadet A (casting down eyes): “Yes, sir." (Mumbles something about having a duty, etc.)The H () W I T Z E R 243 Surgeon: “Well, then, 12:45, Steward.” [Other Cadets in ward titter and cough.] [Exit Surgeon and Steward. ACT 11. [Same setting. Cadet A has gone to duty, rime, 4:30 P. M.] Cadet B (looking out of window): “Come here, C; who is that femme ?” Cadet C (looking): “Ha! 11a! 11a! Why, that’s A’s ‘B. and O.’!!” Cadet B: “Well, I’ll he--------!! Who’s that with her?” Cadet C: “A yearling friend of hers.” ACT III. [Girl and friend walk up and down in front of hospital two or three times, each time looking longingly up at windows, then pass from view in the direction of the hotel. About ten minutes pass.] Cadet B (again): “Well, I’ll he------!! Look here, C! Come here!” Cadet C (looking out): “Well, if there isn’t A!! This is interesting!” (Waves hand at A who responds, looking rather guilty, and walks in South Gate direction. One minute elapses. Yearling friend and A’s “B. and O.” appear in view, yearling friend frantically waving hand in the direction in which A just vanished, yearling leaves femme and runs in same direction. Femme takes up faster walk and then almost a trot. Passes hospital this time without a glance at windows and also disappears in this direction.) Cadets B and C (turning from window and laughing): “Well, this is the richest yet!! Here goes for the Howitzer!” [Three minutes elapse.] Cadet B (glancing out of window): “Here comes our yearling, C. [Cadet C looks out of window and sees the yeailing friend going in direction of barracks, but alone.] (Curtain) The sequel will probably be written after Graduation.244 The II O W I T E R Oh, ’tis so very nice To glide o’er smoothest ice. Molding a fair one's hand And skating just so grand. But when you hit a lump And fall with such a hump, Your maiden skating on Laughing at you forlorn, Then you feel a chump. Sitting down so plump; And then it's not so nice To skate on smoothest ice. O. S. A. ClK Double HlfC The young lieutenant weddeth at graduation; yea, he getteth spliced; He draxvcth his pay, he feeleth large; Me gocth around the post; he runneth about unto the end of it again; Yet is he seen at next pay day returning with one suspender. He gnasheth his teeth in rage: he smiteth his breast in anger. He pondereth the way of his dough; he thinketh of last month’s coin. He draweth the cash yet this month also: yea, he payeth his debts. He ruminateth in his heart and he saith: Why have I sold myself into bondage? And hath the double life the happiness men say? Yea, verily; for though the coin doth flee, yet am I comforted by my better half. She riseth up at reveille and closeth the door: she shutteth the window. Also she lighteth the gas: even the Welsbach. Selah! She remaineth orderly for keeps. Therefore is my lot pleasant and my days are blessed. Yea, the double life is happy. Xs Usual CoRitiN: “Why, Miss Dc Belle, how costumes alter people. I hardly knew you." Miss Dm B.: “Do I look such a fright, then?" Corbin: “On the contrary you look most charming.” (There has been a coolness there ever since.)The H O W I T Z E R 245 £lic Xtuakcmng Adam was having a had night. That sleep which he had once found so sweet and restful was now become an agonizing phantasmagoria, interrupted at intervals by sudden tits of waking, in which he would leap wildly from his couch and make vicious thrusts at imaginary foes. In fact nature seemed turning on her “proudest achievement,” and he was rapidly becoming tired and disgusted with life. lit vain had he sought some new amusement. For many weary hours he had played “tickle me, love, in the lonesome ribs" with the hippopotamus, without getting one thrill. Sliding on the giraffe's neck no longer delighted him and he was sick and weary of tying “bowlinc-on-the-bight" and “reef” knots in the tail of the boa-constrictor. And now he could not even find peace and quiet in sleep. It was too much! He would make his will this very day and end it all in a mad ride on the hack of that beast whose ferocity he had never been able to tame. Yes, death would he sweet—he would arise and mount the horse. When he oped his eyes they rested on a beautiful new animal gracefully reclining on his pet lion. Such enchanting loveliness had never before dazzled the eyes of man. Adam sat gazing at the creature until his heart was filled with a new, strange love; and going swiftly to her, he clasped her in his arms with a rapturous erv, “O breech block of my affection! Gas check of my heart!! Carrier ring of my soul!!!” And Adam and Eve and the lion wept. Now there was a young fellow named Weeks, Whose society everyone seeks, But the femmes were enraged. When they heard lie’s engaged. To find how he’d fooled them for keeps. Now Mitch was a terrible fraud. He pretended by femmes to be awed, Absolutely unable To spoon at the table, But down on Flirtation, “Oh l.awd!!” The above verse were tent to Messrs. Week and Mitchell by their lady friend . We hope the publication of them won't lead to any domestic troubles.at. .‘ODoaa k ’ WHAT A BRIEF MINUTE MEANT. —■■ — x Cadet AbrahaimReaches West Point With Only Sixty Seconds to Spare UNIONTOWN BOY HURRIED. Railrtad Supcrintendcat Stopped Fast Train For Him. WAS SAVED 1'ROM DISCREDIT. VniWlCrtTH, Ooiotoar f, 1J«V Wan Point cxdeu know the value of time. On of the Uaaona they tharo ta to bo exactly on Ura . Wb« »h»U My UmI it U ant oat of tlidr mar: Important Mlnu'oi count at tVcat Point. Hero U Iho otory of bow a Payette count cadet got bo At to the academy ot the e..d Of hi ten woeka' fortuugb with put a minute to tpnre. if b hod not gotten back on limn ho would lutve been a.-redded and demerit would bava bom placed Tt ’'i»'te i-U ngot — omejUilng a Wret Pofm boy c '» tiwtr cntmly coni' tap; tie. How. «(t r taiaatig the train ou the Went Shore road that would hove Rotten hlx to Waa! Point on lime, b ia-tercated the a uporln undent v( the New Votk Central in hie race again ! time to the extent that that orriclal ordered oca of hU fn»t (mine to atop et Uw atatiou aero the river from W«t Point that U ; ot achcduled to atop thara, and how the railroad auj rrintendcM had a ferryboa'. randy to hurry him and a companion over the river, and how they "aigned off Mb-• rty" juat sixty aocond before their time 1 expired, la all worth telling. Ti e hero of thla Cai» la Clyde IV Abrtt- j third year m.'.n at WeM Point. He eon of Enoch II. Abraham. auporlu- j -jcaUon h re with tie home . ehowhrre In the couuty and ______family at the Sh Loul fair, an- yin every hour of It a» only » boy can ttoftaa bcon away from home twop y r«. .la furlough expired on a r«o t t flurwUy I exactly S P. M. That war the time i«-.riled tu the hook of fate, from which .ter la x o altewanoe. Clyde arrived in •ew York Saturday night. At the hotol .« left a call for i o'clock next morning. Mi would give hint ample time to tnaka :4j train on tne licit Shore, the Inal ,u to IVcat Point on Sunday until the wtonoon. it would get him to Want •font before noon, it wea hla tail train. it be knew; hut ho went to bed lit con-.n«w: Went Point boy know fun value . time. He vroee next momlti . •UMMMSg he •d been called or waa akaud of Um iO cadet nt Weal Point-are not showed carry watches. They are not needed, e there la divided up and ragulated in .• military man:v«r. Abraham • watch a depueiiod ut Up. lo-l'niy. It will be lollvered io him when M rurt ut two citra Itcncr. He 4r»x« -1 i»um«l and tvnt to ihe Uurt-r aht-p to hr ahaved. title he waa Acinic lathered l.a o-iaunlly .e». d the barber whxt Ume U »u ••Eleven o'clock, air. waa the reply. He Jumped out of that rtvtir “VitM w.c % t. tie abouUd to the aatunUued barber.'Tbon he ruaheU to th» Grand Central atatiou. No train on the New York, Central to Heat Point until long enough of ter S P. M- That' what they told him. It wm what he expected, lie me thoro cteM-mate cuushl U he Teje’.lwf Yhcjr turyiM away hoortatek. There waa train Out left In a few tnlnutra. ax’d an official, taat reached Highland Kill , limitation an the Central aeroea the Hrar from the Point, a little before 3 o’clock, hat It wm a rout train, end did not atop there. Here waa a ray of hope They wont to the u-pertctendeQt' office. and found that owl-clal In. They quirkty explained th ltu-uilOA to him. They explained to hint what It mexiti to be too late, five Official ta ke nt the two ea«cr face before him. "That train does ISH atop at Highland 1 411 ." he aoid In meaaurrd tone , and even if it did. how would you get over the rtv.T In the abort Ume you would have lefty Well, they would .like to got to It lx bland Pall , th-y auld Tlmjr might make It over the r.v«-r. The auycrtnlcnd-ent studied the prctleoi n m'pute longer, lie looked at tba eager yopn aw» again-He w a bully An-.ertoaru He Mid: ■Hurry and c«ch that train. U about to leave- It will atop for you at Highland Palla. 1 The hey ran tuvd exunht the W®. which wax moving mt. It ap»pp«d at Highland Poll , by order dt the aapertn-leiulenV Uy order of the tup rfntm lent,, the company’ (dyrybqfl w- e tnetv ro..d to a'.eatn a•'. ■) ttu i rcv'i nfw 1 full, »pc»«L with lb rwc ondM rt- -hlc tn« r.|| er eWe. they -ut fc th« rxde-uy build, trig, reached It and ‘V'lfncd oft I'liwjl, •» 1-AB. only a rolnole tfi «pvrc. The Weet rmnt eyatem b an .crural at-.l admirable and a fe rful uin«. . iz:. HuKHY’ X"' -i-©ctermmcb bn the class m a otc bn ballot Spoonoid: i. Fcild. 2. Herring. 3. Hodges, J. N. Tenthoid: 1. Powell. 2. Graves. 3. McKinlay. SiM-CKom: 1. Dumvoody. 2. McKay. 3. Hammond, |. S. Quii.loid ■ 1. Magruder. 2. Waugh. 3. McKay. Coldest Bi.uff: 1. Grubbs. 2. McKay. 3. Merritt. Knocker: i. Prosser. 2. Bishop. 3. Grubbs. B-acher: 1. Bishop. 2. Herring. 3. Walker. Dis-bonkr: 1. Graves. 2. Jones, I). C. 3. Gullion. B. J-est: i. Broadluirst. 2. Stolbrand. 3. Pridgen. B. S-iest: 1. Clark, P. H. 2. Gullion. 3. Walker. Deadbeat i. Powell. 2. Kunzig. 3. Dunwoody. Gallery Boner: 1. McKay. 2. Bartlett, L. R. 3. Hodges, J. N. P. S.: 1. McKay; Hodges. J. N. 3. Gardiner, |. B. •’47Uariouc (Topico of intcrrct TJiccnecrb b» able critics The Howitzer, wishing to obtain competent decisions of certain mooted questions, submitted those questions to the members of the class. I he following evidence should be sufficient to establish the truth and exclude possibility of further controversy: Why did you come here? The State Penitentiary was full.— Bartlett, L. R. For glory, trouble, and the training table.—Klemm. I wanted to deadbeat and got oft' at the wrong station.—Caffery. To butt into post society. Moti.ow. To keep from pulling a bell cord over a pencil-tailed mule the rest of my existence.—Scott, C. L. Because I got the job and liked it.- Gibson. I don’t remember. - Clark, P. II. What has been your most pleasant experience here? The times I’ve been away.—Prosser. Dreaming that it’s reveille and waking up to find it’s taps.—Case. Listening to reveille from the hospital.—Kunzig. Beating Windy Jim in an argument on Infantry Drill Regulations. [=6 tours].—Stolbrand. It happened last summer when I saw the Tactical Department sit down around a box marked dynamite and begin to knock.—Feii.d. Untangling golden tresses from the third bell button of a dress-coat. Herring. Haven’t had any.—Bubk. What has been your most unpleasant experience here? Taking a skin for a quilloid.—Cummings, A. I). Boning four pages of math that was omitted.—Moon.The H O W I T Z K R 249 That balanced seat of my Yearling days.—Eddy. Watching an officer sit on my £4.00 seat in the grandstand at a football game.—Donavin. Living in a division where a close harmony society gathers and sings “Way Down Yonder in the C-o-r-n E-i-e-l-d.”—Prosser. Ten minutes in Cuilum with one who was “Old, fat, she was lame; hump-backed, cross-eyed, but game”—“she loved to dance.”—Bam-ford. A pink tea.—Kean. IVhat has been your chief article of food while here? Tenths—I usually go hungry.- Reisinger. tt and the other algebraic symbols.—Merchant. Hard tacs.—Bain, J. J. I used to be so sleek and fat They called me Burtcrball; I’ve lived on skin and bone until I’m nothing else at all. —Maddox. Three rolls at reveille, though I usually take a roll in bed during the afternoon.—Walker. If'hat is slum made of? Damfino.—Endress. The scraps of yesterday. Carter. Steak of the 7th degree.—Spaulding. Liquid pom a de—ga sol i ne— Sour milk—alcohol— Chunks of liver—vaseline— Plaster of Paris—this ain’t all. — Hanford. Only the red-beaded cook knows.—Williams. An empirical formula is undoubtedly used.—Maghkk. IVby do you bom? Because I can’t bugle.—Ward, B. To keep from making that trip through the East Sally Port.— Magruder. To capture the nimble tenth. Williams, B. H. ['Phis is no joke.—Ed.]250 The HO W I T K R Because I have not the faculty of remembering the distance to Mars, the equations of rotation, and the hcliomcter method, by means of an intuitive physical conception.—Gibson. Because boning brings bootlick, beats bugling and is better than bluffing Tompkins. ft bat has been your favorite study beret9 Mow to get into the hospital and how to stay there.—Powell. The eccentricity of the Tac Department.-- Hammond, T. W. Investigating singular points in the tracing of personal equations. -Miller, V. C. Do you enjoy Saturday evening lectures? The state of my feelings would not look well in print. Prosser. Yes—I enjoy the study of new-found fossils.- -Albright. No—I can’t talk.—Gardiner, J. B. Yes—it gives the knockers a chance to strike up a chorus.— Ramsey. ft bat is tbe meanest thing you ever beard of? The astronomy writ.—Unanimous Verdict. I he mean sun. Morkisson. Skinning a man for getting policed in the riding hall.-Hodges, J. N. Taking a tenth from Pot Graves. Lund. To hear Peckels say, at about 9:29 A. M. when I thought I had bugled: “Now, Mr. Merritt, I’ll just ask you a few questions.”—Merritt. Selling a man enough chevrons to bust him and then not giving him a Christmas leave because he was in debt. The Cadet Officers. Forming the companies on Franklin f ield ten minutes after an Army victory.—Dun woody. The Cadet Store.—Kari.y. A man put Walker, Clark, P. II., Dunwoody, Waugh, and Bishop in a room together and muzzled them so that they couldn’t talk.—Miller. Ottering Karly a green apple on the way back from Tuxedo.'—Dodds. Asking your wife to drag an L. P. to a hop. Carter, A. II. If bo is tbe most important man within IOO miles of If est Point? In answering this question many undoubtedly found themselves in the same predicament as Bartlett, L. R., who said, “Modesty forbids myThe H C) W I T Z E R 251 answering this.” It is only fair to note, however, that a large number of votes were cast for Bartlett as most important man. In spite of this difficulty, the expressed opinion indicated clearly the following order of importance: 1. ilis Majesty, McEnany, King of the Cadet Store. 2. (antes the Jovial, Lord High Keeper of the Mess Hall. 3. Avoir du Lois, Ambassador Extraordinary, Minister Plenipotentiary, and Runner of Errands to His most Gracious Ma jesty the Emperor. Yet there were many who dissented front the view of the ma jority, as may readily be seen from these answers: Surely he who “imports” most, the late Early.- Clark, P. II. A plebe nowadays.—W11.by. Prosser when he goes to Yassar. Hknsi.ky. “Bowley—be Gad.” Anonymous. Captain Commissary, Treasurer of the United States Military Academy, Quartermaster and Commissary of Cadets.—Ai.so Anonymous. Some of the answers appear to be in the nature of confessions, as. The Mail Carrier.—Kf.an. The Gunner of my table. - Osborne. How are chevrons acquired? The Unanimous Verdict Plebe year, bone dis. Yearling year, quill somewhat. Second classman, skin list. First class, combine the lot. —A Cadet Captain. Develop a stomach, skin your best friend, look efficient, play ping pong, “jump when you’re spoken to and run when you’re called.’ Also spoon the post.— Hawes. By crooking the pregnant hinges of the knee that thrift may follow fawning.—Guli.ion. The Com puts the names in a hat and his chief clerk draws.—A Buck.252 The H C) W I T Z E R IF bat is your usual hour oj rising? About an hour before I’m awake.—Dii.i.man. I usually rise about half an hour after taps, but sometimes when I £° to bed before ten o’clock and don’t watch ’em, they plav reveille right in continuation of taps.—Ki.emm. As soon as the drum corps changes from the Nocturne in II minor to the Aria in B major.—-Case. When the tac raps at the door.—Dallam. I get up whenever permitted, but usually I'm down.—Dusenhury. Suggest ini prove meats for a Cadet's room. Impossible.— EST. An arrangement for closing the door, shutting the window and lighting the gas—all worked by turning over in bed and saying “Oh! IIcll!” —Prosser. [Since the above suggestion was made, several such apparatus have been concocted by Cadets. The latest improvement is an alarm-clock attachment whereby the results are produced at any desired hour, the occupants of the room continuing their sleep undisturbed. For particulars address Endress.- -Ed.) Seats on the radiator would be good.—Albright. An automatic room orderly.—Baird, F. H. A burglar alarm for l acs. Dickey. A boning machine that works while you sleep.—Hammond, J. S. A non-musical heater. Doe. A few calories.—Emerson. A nigger to clean it up.—Graves. Telephone connection with the post.—McKay. A folding bed—just think what you could hide in that.—Kl EMM. A slide rule to be kept on the mantlcpiecc.—Russell, O. A. IFbicb of tbe trips made by tbe first IF by? iiujj irui iunmitr ■ - — "•stf Totten, because we were provided with a first-class comedian V| furnished a “continuous performance.’’ -Mitchell. Totten—reveille unheard and unheeded, and good time in the eveni playing on the parapet.—Schoonmaker. Tuxedo a bouncing good time.—Pridgen. Totten because the water was salt.- Talbot. o £The H O W I T E R 253 Toircn—I got a bath without having to sign up. Bishop. Tuxedo- I saw Dusenbury in a femme’s bathing suit, saw Bishop in the morning and saw the great and only Early. Kiehl. [The superior attractions of Totten are indisputable, though hut few are quoted here.—Ed.] Are you going to marry immediately after grail nation'' Oh! This is so sudden! 1 shall have to ask mother. T ipton. Well, I should howl! Can’t live on a second lieutenant’s pay.- Bubb. No—I’m too young.—Williams, B. H. Sure, 1 have been orderly long enough. T albot. After graduation I am going to Hip a coin with one side for Roosevelt and the other for Corbin.—Walker. I think not, for, from experience on furlough, 1 found that femmes always take it as a joke when I propose.—Scott. Yes, so I won’t have the post L. P.’s after me. (jRUBBS. I decline to state.—Feii.d. RUNNING IT Al l OVER IIIM254 The H () W I T Z E R lt OscaUian.i I nut a girl -“fiendish femme," At Oscawann Lake; Said I, “Shall I make love to her, What difference can it make?” We danced she was divine— At least I told her so; She blushed I whispered in her ear Some nothings, soft and low. We sat Inside the moonlit lake And watched a bright star rise - I told her how its light was dimmed By the radiance of her eyes. I held her hand—and read the cards As coaxingly she said: “Do you have hops up at West Point?” I yelled “I.. I !"—and fled. Caps His Furlouoh Girl: “What is taps anyway?" He: “Taps? Oh, taps is first call for reveille.” Dcard At the Oisitorp’ . cate Femme: “The hammock broke with me last night.” The Other One: “Was Jack hurt?” [Gardiner, [. B., didn’t want us to put this in, but we put it in anyhow. —Ed.] W )V Dr ZM cs the £nginccr$i Pot pusses on Meade holding onto the saddle. B. H. L.: “Where arc you going, Pot?” Pot: “I don’t know, ask the horse.” W ))) Dr CaIics the tjnfantrp Doe (to Daly who is riding on the road): “Can’t I go along between you and the saddle?”The H () W I T Z E R 255 ZUc Hide of 1905 With Apologies to Sheridan Up from their sleep ;it break of day, W ith many a shudder of frank dismay, Rubbing their limbs so stiff and sore And gazing entranced at the downward pour. Awoke the first (.‘lass of the Cadet Corps from their sleep on fake Tuxedo’s shore. With West Point twenty miles away. Stronger still came those volumes of rain, In torrents as thick as a horse’s mane, And deeper yet into dog rents rolled Those puddles of water uncontrolled, Making Cadets say—Oh! things untold As they thought of the Corps who in dry beds lay At West Point twenty miles away. Yet there’s a good for every ill; What made some talk made Nervy Nat still; The rain on the hard-tack just filled the bill While in the coffee it saved many a kill; But each man wondered as In- folded his tent ()r cursed his luck over picket line bent. If he’d soon dissolve, or reach that day West Point—twenty miles away. I here is a road from Tuxedo town A rocky highway leading down, And there through the gray of the morning light Wound a column forlorn as the shades of night, fach man of the column impatient to stop, fach man with his leggins full up to the top With watery mixtures of country clav, And West Point fifteen miles away. Under their spuming feet the road Like a West Point coal tar gutter flow’d; Under their seats the saddles wet Soon gave their trousers a permanent set; In rear two riderless horses neigh. What of them ? Listen, hear what they say. “ Two Rip Van Winklers in the wagon lay"— With West Point ten miles away.256 The H OWIT Z E R But see, as they cross o’er the valley deep Their pace is quickened, their pulses leap, hath horse and each rider knows what is ahead, l or horse it’s a stable, for rider, a bed. Vet one there is who for bed doesn’t care. So just as they pass the Ladies’ School there Nervy Nat steals away for a Bill of hare, With West Point only five miles away. On dashed the column clearing all in its path, As if they were eager to sign for their bath, Until at the stables with painful smiles The riders of Augur and Pulton and Miles Turn over their horses and limp away, And this to their horses is what they say, “ You’ve carried me gently( ?) and well today f rom Tuxedo, twenty miles away.” Alas, alas for the Cavalry! Alas for 1905! For when their history is placed on high Under the dome of some future sky. Twill In- known what the hospital records bore Of that famous ride in 1904, And the world will know why so few there be ( f 1005 in the Cavalry'. Yearling (to Plebc): “Mr. Ducror, what have you got to read in your house?” Plere: “The Lathes' Home Journal, sir.” Yearling: “Well, what arc you doing with the Ladies' Home Journal Plere: “It’s for my wife, sir.” Capt. Bowl Ery-gad (lecturing): “In order to find out whether the explosion of a caisson will kill the whole gun detachment, the detachment is made up of goats.” Herring (sotto voice): “First time I ever knew the goats made the artillery.’’) 3i ZP 0 ED BQ CD CD o £3 o° CD CD Q G CD O G CE ONE ELEVEN! ZONE ELEVEN! ZONE ELEVEN! soxk klkvbk ! [Aug 22, 12:00 M. Dinner.] Class, ’Tenrion—Stand at ease—Rest —only don’t talk. Cadets will be responsible that no paper and so forth is in the tents. Ain cadet not doing so will be reported by all six cadet captains of each company. Cadets will move snappily. [Aug. 22, 5:00 P. M. Supper.] Cadets may swim in trunks after 5 o’clock. There has been a circular published to the ladies on the post that the cadets will be in bathing at that time in only trunks. Any cadet who does not know where the ladies go in bathing may find out from Cadet Hammond, ((ireat applause.) Rest!... . Cadets have permission to play on the parapet in the evening. [Aug. 23, 9:00 A.M. Drill, 12" Rifle.] 1. Cadets. 2. Halt. Which is my right hand? Oh! yes! 1. Right. 2. Face.............. 1 his is a traveller; goes down around and up. Some fingers pick up the shell and hand it over to other fingers................ Brace up to that shot truck............ Numbers 3 and 4 will guide the pro- jectile in its flight. 1. At that island. 2. Home. 3. Ram! Does any cadet know the name of that island ? No, sir! Well, then, we won’t shoot at it. .................1. Left. 2. Face. 3. Forward. 4. Up to the wall. 5. March. This is the hole that the projectile comes out through. 1. Left. 2. Face....................Captain, what are those rings for?............ Well, I mounted this gun. Had a great deal of trouble. We had to build a bridge and a railroad and so forth and I pur those rings in the wall to pull the gun through. Now, Mr. Baker, if Mr. Dunwoody and Mr. Fhrnbcck understand this drill I am sure the rest will. Can we show these cadets the magazine room now?................I'll see if it can be opened a little later, Captain; there is so much hot air out here that I am afraid it would be dangerous to open it now. 57258 _The HOWITZER [Aug. 23, 3:30 I . M. Drill, 12" magazine.] It is an invariable rule that rubbers arc always worn in the magazine. As you cadets have no rubbers, you will have to walk on tiptoes....... This is an implement box and that an armament chest. All the big tools are implements. 1. Right. 2. I;ace. 3. Forward. 4. March. Go into that dark room don’t go into that dark room. Now, you cadets that went into that dark room report yourselves.—Now these shells all have different colored bands. That is a red one and this is a green one...........and these olive ones are—er—er—well I did know; but when one is not in touch with the service one soon loses touch with ir. Captain, what are these lead pipes ? Oh! those are electric wire pipes. 1. Right. 2. Face. 3. Forward through the door. 4. I’ll meet you on the other side. 5. March. [Aug. 23, 5:30 I M. Retreat.] Hereafter all meal formations will be ten minutes before first call. Four cadets were reported at the guard house last night for being off the post. Those cadets will step two paces to the front as their names are called: Gallagher! Johnson! O’Connell! Rogers! [Aug. 24, 10:30 P. M.] Help! Help! Somebody come hold this mosquito while I strike a light!! Hr nrvjciilc 1 search in vain for traces ()f a look of suavity In the drawn and sleepy faces That come down to reveille; For alas! All I find there Is disgust and misery— They’re a sorry lot, the faces That conic down to reveille.The H C) W I T Z E R 259 X plcbc’s Sanintr I can not lo a thing. I ant a sep And can’t keep step With my own shoes; they ding The “ one-two-tItree-Kour” into me From reveille To reveille— They make mv ear drums ring; But I can’t do a thing. I’ll never learn to drill. Mistakes I've made At dress parade Would manv skin lists till. The manual may. As yearlings say. Soon get to he Just like child’s play. But I don’t think it will; I’ll never learn to drill. I know I shall he found. I’m always slow. My feet won’t go, My hands get changed around; So when to me “Squads right” they say, I’m sure to go The other way, And then I get called down; I know I shall he found. ©. 3. ? Upper Classman (to Herring in our Plebe camp): “What is your name, mister?” “Mr. Herring, sir.” “Mr. Herring. Well, what sea were you raised in ?" “Tennessee sir.”3j ijl '] I I i N » Ai «■ J " » r«. e W S - «li ?: ■ » —4 ! £ -: K ■ : : T • -; o • • »; t£ uiU u 1 i lillllli] i! i JJJJll I f.l ■■ “ '' k s ; c jcv ivv-m -!-' ui 1-? ji Hr T- S % iThe H () W I T Z E R 261 X Cppiral li rir in .Setrouomn (With apologies to the Department of Philosophy.) 1. Name all the undiscovered planets and determine their eccentricities. 2. How many 5th magnitude stars could the elder Herschel see through his hat ? Why ? 3. Explain in full the method of midnight observations by the counting of ticks. Also could a good astronomer count ricks for one hour ? 4. Why did the younger Herschel wear cuffs ? 5. Explain in full the use of the Ephemeris. How could a blind man on a desert island tell the time bv its use. Would a watch-dog be of any assistance to him ? Why ? 6. Having given a gas meter and a sextant, determine the heat of the sun. 7. What would be the mean density, compared with Malted Milk, of the spherical head of a three-ply, deck-piercing comet, 10,000 miles in diameter and having a mass of 1 to,ooo of that of the earth; assuming that it is 100 days till |une and that Mrs. Chadwick is innocent r 8. Can osculation of a Venus occur during an eclipse of the moon : (Consider the possible effects of refraction and state at what intervals the coincidences will occur.) 9. Explain the Harvest Moon and give six of its effects on the Prune Crop. 10. Give the assimilated rank of all the planets and state why the planet Eros is ranker than the others. n. If a thermometer in Greenland registers 940 below zero and one in the Tropics 940 above, determine the sideral time, in the Sandwich Islands, of a mean solar clock which registers apparent time to a casual observer. 12. State the method employed by a bald-headed astronomer in finding the cross baits in a double-jointed, back-action, open-draught telescope, with a convertible flue.Headquarters 81. J . (Corps of (Cadets, Rcst goint, 2). 3. Abstract of Delinquencies for Sunday Novusry nth, 190X. NAME REPORTING OFFICER Bankhead,-------In area in pajamas about 1 A. M. doing a vaudeville stunt. Barzynski,------Telling his famous "fence" story for the 99th consecutive time. Dallam,---------Mot marching on two points when crossing the area. Daly, C. I).-,—Travesty of office. Lurching Battalion at "route 6tep" during sr.ow storm after dark. Dunwooay.------Singing in his sleep. Do.,--------Mot properly prepared on History lesson, omitting two commas and one period in recitation. Duoen'cury,'J.S.-Looking aged at inspection. Karly,---------Clean gun at inspection. Do.,--------Uniform shoes at inspection. Do.,--------Uniform gloves at inspection. Eddy.-----------Busting his "G" string while giving com- mands at Infantry drill. F Co..----------Floor not properly swept at A.V.. inspec- tion. Graves,---------Contracting debt; ordering two blouses, one beaver cape and one dress coat before tine allowed. Do.,---------Dismounting without authority in the riding hall thereby making a dent in Grubbs,— Oullion,--Hawes,---- the tan bark. —Too much hair at inspection, —Lesson in Engineer i..g properly prepared. —Running a lCC-yard dash with a tac as pacemaker in violation of Par. xxx Blue Book. Klemn,---------Disturbing suo-division by loud talking from 6 A. M. until 10.30 P. M. Lentz,_________Using a German pronunciation in French section room. Loughry,_______Three hours late reporting return from. Vassar. Merritt,_______£mpty clothes bag full of newspapers at Sunday morning inspection. j iaes ________Growing without authority- Titus!---------Asleep in Chapel. Turner_________in area at 6.0C P. H., he being in the Hospital at the time. yauy __________Destroying Government property, losing rp.il 11. williams,B.H.,-Springing a burn grind at reveille. Hans Swish Line Line Babe Swish Swish Swish Swish Windy The New Eird Windy Hans Corkey Freddy Hans Lund Mike Benny Feild. Swish Methuse Billy L. Curley The New Bird Merchant.The H () VV I T Z E R 263 Cctc tctc in Zorn's Office Old O. C. (making his report): “Several cadets in debt have had the effrontery to put in requisitions for tooth powder. I have figured out that the money spent for tooth powder in a year would suffice to buy a dress-coat; therefore why use it ? (Loud applause from the Com.) I recommend, therefore, that cadets in debt shall hereafter go to Tony and obtain from him all the burnt matches he has gathered up; cut the ends off, and use the charcoal thus obtained as toothpowder.” Com: “Captain, that is a wise stunt. I’ll have the clerk interpolate that in the Blue Book at paragraph 46bxxx.” O. C.: “I have also noticed that an unseemly amount of soap is consumed. A cadet last week asked me if I would permit him to buy a cake of soap. I said to him, ‘When did you last buy some?’ He replied, ‘Sir, on }unc 11, '01, I entered this institution and the quartermaster issued me a lone cake of something marked soap; but, please, sir, I think it was predigested breakfast food. Nelson analyzed it and said it was calcareous tufa, but he is mistaken; 1 put a little acid on it and the acid didn’t stand any show at all.’ I said to the cadet, ‘How often do you bathe?’ ‘Every day,’ he answered, ‘and a paper hath on Sunday.’ Ibis cadet was very impertinent to me and I skinned him for ‘hours of instruction not properly posted.’ As I was leaving his room he made the remark that if the King would turn out more soap and less corps crest in a package, everybody would he happier—and cleaner.” £U)i0hlrt0 Swish (to Cadet Emerson): “ Put a round circle around those numbers Mr. Emerson.” Swish (addressing Yearlings at P. M. E. as he rode by on his bicycle): “Look out, you men, I’m going to salute you!” ZUc 23ii1I pen Now give him his head! Lean back! Easy on the corners! Don’t jerk him! Lean back! You jerked that horse! Get your heels out of him! Of course he won’t jump! Lean hack! That’s just what I’m telling you! Lean hack! Eect forward! Whoa! Lean hack! Feet forward! Lean hack! There you go! Just what I’m telling you! Lean back! Let go! Hands in your lap! Let go that mane! Let go! Fall off! I don’t care! Lean hack! Don’t hang onto those reins! Lean back! I here you go! (ust what I’m telling you! Lean hack! Let go! Lean hack! Lean hack! Whoa! Whoa, now! Whoa!264 The H O W I T Z E R vOucrhcarD at the £ar’$ £cur Duse (reporting to O. C.): “Sir, Cadet Dusenbury, J. S., reports as ()fficer of the Guard.” O. C.: “Yes, Mr. Dusenbury, I want to instruct you in the manner in which 1 wish you to turn out the guard and advance the Officer of the Day tonight. (Gives instruction.) Now this way is new, hut I want to try it because I think it is the correct interpretation of the Guard Manual. If the Officer of the Day should think otherwise and report you, why, you just submit an explanation and I will put on a favorable endorsement.” Dusk (who thinks he hives a plot): “Captain, I don’t want you to experiment on me. I’m nothing hut a first class private and if I get reported I can’t get it off; they don't seem to notice my explanations. I don’t want you to experiment on me." (). C.: “O, you are mistaken, Mr. Dusenbury; I’ll see to that.” Duse: “Captain, if I do write an explanation I am sure to get reported for some mistake in it, and I have only two demerits to run on to get a Christmas leave. O. C. (firmly): “Well, you try it anyway, Mr. Dusenbury.” Dusk (walking away mournfully): “Good bye, Christmas leave. ZUc Daily DrniD 5:50 A. M. 6:00 A. M. 6:20 A. M. 6:3° A. M. 7:20 A. M. X:oo A. M. to 12:551 l M. 1 :oo P. M. 2:00 P. M. to 4:00 p. M. 4;,5 I’. M. to 5:25 p. M. 5 = o P. M. 6:00 P. M. 7:20 P. M. 7:20 P. M. to 9:3° ’• M. 9:30 I . M. 10:00 P. M. Reveille. Roll call. Police call. Breakfast. Guard mounting. Recitations and study. Dinner. Recitations and study. Drill. Parade. Supper. Call to quarters. Study. Tattoo. Taps.The H () W I T Z E R 265 (mocking ASLEEP and a-forgetting, A beating in the ball, A turning out to reveille, A slipping and a fall. The ice is cold as blazes, And the blazes cold as hell, And I pick myself up cussing ’Cause I hadn’t orter fell. Bur a man is apt to fall down When he runs to reveille And the ice is covering everything As slick as it can be. And a man is apt to say things When lie sees a score or two Of stars that Budd nor Morrisson Nor Burgin ever knew. It’s been so for all the century, And ’twas so the one before, And ’twill be the same old story Till we reach the farther shore; I ill we change our swords to ploughshares, Till we lay our armor by, Pill we lead a long procession— l ill we’ve seen fit for to die. But it's now that I am speaking of, Not Future’s golden day When we’ll, perhaps, be shot to death A thousand miles away. It’s when I run to breakfast And I get there just too late That I lift my voice in lament, A-bewailing of my fate.266 The H O W I T Z E R And O, t lie weary lessons What sap a feller’s pith, And eat into his vitals Like the vulture in the myth. It’s then that 1 am kicking And kicking hard and long, And it’s kicking, kicking, kicking, Is the burden of my song. They take us to the drill ground And they make us do our stunt They don’t seem to take no notice That a feller’s just a runt. They make us do manoeuvers, And they make us do ’em fast, And they bring us in at double time When drill is through at last. It's mighty hard a living In this here sort of way: 1 know it ain’t no way to do. Don’t care what people say. After evening call to quarters, When we settle down to bone My wife just keeps a sitting there I want to be alone. 1 wish ten thousand devils Would take me oft to hell. So 1 could get plumb clean away f rom damphools for a spell. Hut there’s no such good thing happens And I get no wholesome rest fill the drummer brings his drum at night And beats three taps—fid I dress.The HO W I T Z E R 267 The hour that comes just after taps Is the best thing in my day: It takes my thoughts front hereabouts To places far away. It is then I get to pip ng Of the time that used to be, And a happy golden future With a younker on mv knee. Then come the lovely visions— Come trekking thick and fast. Till I’m sick with weary longing f or these prison days to pass. I see the Furlough lassie; (Would that these days were o’er1) Her charm I felt in auld lang syne; I feel it more and more. I see the distant Philippines And hear the natives sing— See “glory at the cannon’s mouth” And all that sort of thing. Hut these here bedtime visions They make me for to see That this here’s the “golden future” Of the time that used to be. This here is sure enough the time 1 used to long for so When I was just a little cuss A dozen years ago. And so I learn my lesson And read the truth that’s clear— The “future” isn’t nothing But the “now” that ain't got here.268 The H C) W I T X E R I must not let the “now’ go by And get no profit out; If I do. I’m losing “futures That I used to dream about. And having found my error, why, 1 face it square and firm; When I can see my duty, I ain’t the man to squirm. I’m going to cut this piping out This knocking sort of way, And do my very best to make The most of every day. About this time I fell asleep To rest a while at least, l ill the bird’s song calls the day-god To come tip out the east. But ere the bird bursts forth in song. Or makes a drowsy call, I hear a noise —and reveille Is heating in the hall. .3 iVloticru fable [Apologies to George Ade.J A certain Young Man of pious Habits aspired to he a Sport. I hough it had been intended by Nature and Training that he should walk in the Straight and Narrow Way and avoid even the Appearance of I'.vil, he somehow became Fascinated by the Reckless, Frec-and-Kasy "ays of some of his cquaintanccs, and decided that to be One of the Boys would he (neat. Accordingly, he proceeded to Butt In and kept up the Pace just long enough to find out that it was too Swift for his Constitution. I he Gang speedily dropped him as a Dead One, his former friends had Long Since ceased to look at him except from a distance, so Presently Our Young friend found himself out in the Cold, Cold, W orld. The Father of the Youth came to him One Day and Said: “My Son, I have Decided to send you to West Point.” Whereupon the Young Man replied, “ Thank vou Sir. hut I prefer the Direct Route,” and drawing a Revolver blew out His Brains. Moral: It’s an ill wind that blows nobody good.The H () VV I T Z E R 269 3Jn tljr s'tmm THE clock indicated 4:30 I . M. as our hero floated into Cullum, just one hour late. Upstairs a post german was in full blast and this was his first effort in the “ P. S.” line. Puck was with him and he reached the comfortable solitude of the dressing-room without being subjected to the usual embarrassing scrutiny and open criticism of several buds who make a business of hanging out on the red plush seats in the lower hall. There he proceeded to shake hands with himself, comb his hair over about six times, and put on his gloves, wondering all the while if it was too late to turn hack. Hut a couple of spoonoids were even then severing his lines of communication; so commending himself to his star, he began to ascend the stairway. At the first landing lie met a particular friend coming down to break a regulation. “What’s doing upstairs. Pick he asked. “ l-ots; all the post are on hand; I am just going down to rest my ears.” “Well say, this is a new game to me. Won’t you take me up? I feel the need of a little moral support.” “Sure; come along." J ust as they reached the receiving line, some fair one captured our friend’s escort and he was left to push on alone. Me was looking about for another champion when his hostess spied him. “Ah, Mr.—Mr.—Mr.—M “Ducrot,” he quietly prompted. “Oh, yes, of course, Mr. Ducrot. Why, my memory has never played me such a trick before. How do you do? 1 am positively scandalized I am so glad to see you. I have been expecting you a half hour. Fie, young sir, a military man should be more prompt. Do you know any of these ladies? Mrs. Jones, this is Mr. Ducrot, a verv dear friend of mine. Won’t you please introduce him?" And our hero is whirled along the line, his jaws working mechanically and his face wearing that professional smile that wouldn't come off. Finally he ran out at the end in about the same manner and with about the same sensations that lie had often before experienced when passed down the line at hook-drawing formations. Out in the open and alone! My dear reader, have you never felt it? Do you know what it is to look about you and find yourself surrounded by a dense crowd of glaring, staring females and not one familiar face amongst them? Such was the position of our friend Ducrot.270 The H () W I T Z E R At first he was abashed and wavered; but his natural prowess shamed him for his momentary weakness, and taking the hit in his teeth, he made a precipitous charge upon a kindly-looking matron seated on the side lines, and dropped like a thunderbolt on the divan by her side. "I don’t know who you are,” he began hurriedly, "hut you look good to me—there, don’t be shocked hear my story.” And he continued in tones with which In- had often worked flu surgeon at sick call. 1’hey talked, and the german was progressing noisily. Suddenly out of the throng a maiden darted and threw a tissue-paper rosebud into his lap, exclaiming, “You’re it!” “Oh, this is so sudden!" answered our hero, taking a polite leave of his motherly friend as it is done at W est Point a simple matter of bending at the dangerous section of the dress-coat and working the mouth silently and rapidly in the direction of the lady; meanwhile wearing an inane and decrepit smile. Having thus satisfied Hoyle, he and the maid chattered away as they bumped from one couple to another. “West Point is an odd place,” she gurgled, as she toyed with the top button of his dress-coat. “So awfully dear and cunning—so interesting and fascinating. Don’t you think so?” “I decline to express my opinion on that subject. I want time to consider it.” “Oh, don’t you like it?" “Yes, when 1 am away and can puff out my chest and blow about it. At other times I prefer Sing Sing." “Oh, you horrid thing! How can you say such awful things about such a lovely place ? I get three or four thrills every time I see you at parade.” “Me; Oh, yes, I always affect the ladies that way.’ “Oh, you conceited man! I didn’t mean it that way.” “Conceited, of course—-1 have a right to be. Why did you pick me out when you had all this bunch of rare specimens in reach?” “You shouldn't ask embarrassing questions.” “Now, my dear young lady, if 1 had thought such a question might embarrass you, I wouldn’t have asked it for the world. Why, haven’t you been on the post long?" “I just came yesterday.” “You have much in store for you.” “I’ll tell you why I favored you, if you really wish to know.” “ I don’t want to know, if it isn’t to my credit you sec I was pretty close to the wall when you came to my rescue.” “You did seem to be trying so hard, and I felt sorry for you.”271 ■The H O W ITZE k “Then I didn’t ‘look like somebody you know’?” “What does that mean?” “That's one of our old stand-bys. We use ir ro break a long silence.” “I don’t see how it could come about that you would have to break any silence here.” “You don’t understand West Point life. A silence is a very dangerous thing.” “Ob, do tell me something about West Point. I’m just crazy to know all about it.” “Some wise man, some learned man has said that the four years spent as a Cadet at the United States Military Academy gives a man credit for twenty years’ service in another place—a place that makes the heat of the electric arc look like a two spot.” Just at this moment a buttinsky handed his companion a small flatiron done up in blue ribbons and bore her away, leaving poor Ducrot alone in the world once more. He was making a strategic move to regain the lower hall when one of the floor managers captured him, dragged him bodily to a curtain in one corner of the room, thrust a fishing pole in his hand, and ordered him to “throw in.” He did so and. getting a bite immediately, hauled forth a new maid. The young lady looked at him and the temperature fell about three degrees. “ I don’t believe I’ve met you, sir," she said. “Oh, don’t let that worry you,” was his encouraging reply. She took another look at him and he felt a cold draught go by. “Ugh! don’t you think it’s cold?” "No,” she answered, looking bored, “I think it’s stifling.” ” I can explain that—you have wasted all the frost about you upon me.” “Oh, how strangely you talk. Why, you have never been properly introduced to me. I really think my chaperon would object to my dancing with you.” “ I think mine would, too.” “Sir!” “I mean, of course, that, as you say, it would have been much better if we had seen each other first.” Ducrot was getting desperate now, and resolved to shock a real expression out of her. “Pish, tash, Sarah! Come down from your cloud and stop fooling; we’ll have an audience to this scrap in a minute,” and he encircled her waist and sallied forth. “You are rude,” she exclaimed. “ Yes, the lights are very beautiful; and the floor is simply divine. Don’t you think the girls are positively charming? I never saw a prettier crowd.” “Sir, I shall have to ask—272 The H () VV I T E R "O, yes, I know just what you were going to ask—you were g°,n£ ,n ask if I would suspect that you are front Boston ’ The young lady seeing the hopelessness of further remonstrance, relapsed into a state of coma. Ducrot swung her around the hail three 01 four times and then suggested that perhaps the view down the Hudson would soften her hard feelings. She woke up with a start. “ W hat did you say ?” “ I was just asking you where your chaperon is. You look tired; I think I'll take you to her. You’ve been punished enough.” lie took her over, retired to the punch bowl, drank five straights, and went hack into the strenuous life. Ilis next was a dead-game Amazonian sixteen hands high and went all the gaits at once. He asked her if she had used the "Cartilage” treatment, and she retaliated hy landing with both feet on his great toe. "Pardon me.” she said, "I fear I’ve hurt your foot.” "Not at all.” he returned gallantly, and at the end of the dance In-policed her on to the first man he met, recommending her as a "fiend.” After purchasing a few more gold bricks our hero was glad to notice that it was time to go, so making his wa to his hostess, he lied politely as to the nature of the entertainment, and hurriedly took his departure, solemnly promising himself never to do it again. Comnic Dane la Die A gay cadet, I- lination’s shade, A coy coquitte— Sweet summer maid. A cosy bower Beside the stream, l-air place and hour For love’s sweet dream. A rosy streak In summer sky, A blushing cheek, A drooping eye. A look, a sigh, A soft " Just one,” A little cry And all is done. O, bliss divine! O, joy complete! O—(B-r-r-r-r-r-r-r!) “(), h—I! Retreat!”Though streams and forests do ns part And strangely altered is our lot, My love for tlue shall ne'er depart. Do thou within thy purest heart Reserve for me one tender spot; Do thou, my love, “forget me not.” ScRAl'Pl-K llrNSIKY. A thousand hopes are vanished In the dry and dusty past; A thousand ideals shattered Anti broken, downward east, Him. Dai.i.am. Here’s to Love, that cunning little rascal clothed in Nature’s own garment, who hides himself neath graceful tresses or long-turned lashes, or in the depths of orbs of celestial light; who darts forth in the shadow and sends his darts tipped with the elixir of life through the inmost portals of the soul. Bknny Feild. A kiss is hut a rustic bridge Vine-clad o’er lisping stream, A rendezvous for souls that love, On which they meet to dream.—Hakky T. Hf.RRINC.The H () W I T Z E R 8 Cpptcal Correspondence I. Mrs. Pol is hem to Cadet Easy My Very Dear Mr. Easy: I know you are glad to be back at the Point again, making new conquests and clinching old ones. 1 have a fine crowd of girls this year and I am sure you would enjoy meeting them. Like all girls they are crazy to come to a West Point bop and are very anxious to meet you, for I have told them things that would turn your head if you did but know. If I bring them up to the Harvard game on the 15th can you not secure cadets for them ? I have reserved one especially lovely girl for you—Miss Lillian Languish of Alabama. The others are Miss Traveller of Arkansas, Miss Saurian of Florida and Miss Foot of Chicago. The first three are beauties; they have all the charm of the Southern girl, and Miss Foot, while not so pretty, is a brilliant conversationalist, a superb elocutionist and her playing exhibits the most wonderful technique. Indeed, all my girls are extremely cultured, as they are taking music and elocution. I wonder if you have forgotten that furlough girl of yours. How her eyes yearned after you when you rode by with your exquisite figure clothed in your natty uniform—Alas! “Men were deceivers ever.” Very cordially yours, Eliza Minchen Polishem. No. 1 Finishing Avenue New York City. Wednesday, October the twelfth. P. S. We will call at the Cadet Guard House at noon on the 15th. II. Cadet Easy to Mrs. Polisbem My Dear Mrs. Poushem: I shall be delighted to provide escorts for the young ladies and to have such an excellent chaperon as yourself. Your description of the girls has made me eager to know them, while I contemplate with pleasurethe re-meeting of one who also spent the summer of 1904 in dear old Burgville. Sincerely, William Easy. West Point, New York, Thursday, October the thirteenth.The H O W I T ' E R 275 III. Extract from Cadet Hospital Record, 7 i. m., Oct. l6y IQOJ Taken in Hospitai. Diagnosis Cadet Dusenbury Cadet Maghee Cadet Herring Cadet Easy Femur Elongation Femur Elongation Tibia Elongation Hip Dislocation and Nervous Prostration IV. Mrs. Pol is hem to Cadet Easy My Very Dear Mr. Easy: I must thank you for the elegant way you provided for the girls’ entertainment. They are in raptures over West Point and over you four hoys in particular. You should hear the dear creatures sound your praises. Ol course this is nitre nous (between you and me) hut, of everyone they met, you, Mr. Easy, are the favorite. I want to bring the same girls and a few others up to several hops this winter, beginning at the Yale game and hop, this Saturday, Oct. 22. I feel that I can rely on you to continue your goodness to us which, I am sure, results in mutual pleasure. Will you give our love to our gallant knights, Mr. Dusenbury, Mr. Maghee and Mr. Herring? Most graciously yours, Eliza Minch in Polish em. No. 1 Finishing Avenue, New York City. Monday, October the seventeenth. P. S. We will be at the Cadet Cuard House at the same hour as last Saturday. V. Cadet Easy to Mrs. Polishem My Dear Mrs. Polishem: It gives me great sorrow to inform you that 1 must deny myself the happiness you hold out to me. I have unfortunately secured a Saturday detail of guard duty and shall he unable to attend any more hops this year. Mr. Herring’s grandmother has just died from heart disease, Mr. Dusenbury s276 The HO WIT Z E R grandson is dead from inanition and Mr. Maghee has been ,,.,t in special confinement till graduation as a punishment for knocking down a policeman Will you give my best wishes to the young ladies, and rest assured that nothing but the exigencies ol the service and the sad duties of life prevent us from accepting your offer. „ , „ . , Very sincerely, William Kasv. adet Hospital. I uesday, October the eighteenth. ClK Ooars potto forth Pridgen: ‘‘ A deposition is where evidence is deposited." Professor of Drawing: “No, no, that’s not a cube. Suppose you put a marble on it, which way will it roll?" P. Bar ynski: “Off." Instructor: "Mr. Talbot, what is the characteristic of that logarithm ?" Talbot: “Well, Captain, I don’t know that it has any special characteristic." 20 Classman (reciting): “(Jun cotton is that cotton in which guns arc packed." Ciui.i.iON (reciting on the power of lenses): “Some lenses are very powerful. By the aid of one of these powerful lenses Archimedes destroyed the whole Roman fleet, thereby saving Syracuse.” Willy Sills: “Well, Mr. Gullion, if you don’t buck up and bone, Archimedes or no one else will be able to save you.The HOWITZER 2 77 €l)c ticbolt in Cljrasalomca I IIK Tl XT’s VERSION jP. 173 Duruy's General History | "The inhabitants of Thessalonica during a riot had killed the governor and several imperial officers. Theodosius gave orders which cost 7,000 persons their lives. This massacre excited a sentiment of horror throughout the empire. When he presented himself some time later at the doors of the cathedral o! Milan, Saint Ambrose in the presence of all the people reproached him with his crime and forbade him to enter the church. The emperor accepted the public penance which the saintly bishop thus imposed in the name of Ciod and outraged humanity ’ I ikst Section Man’s Version “I am required to discuss the revolt in Tlussa-lonica: The inhabitants of Thessalonica during a riot had killed the govt morand several imperial officers. 'I hcodosius gave orders which cost 7,000 persons their lives. I bis massacre excited a sentiment of horror throughout the empire. When he presented himself some time later at the doors of the cathedral of Milan, Saint Ambrose in the presence of all the people reproached him with his crime and forbade him to enter the church. The emperor accepted the public pcnancewhich the saintly bishop thus imposed in the name of God and outraged humanity.” What be feared—2.9. What he got 3.0. Goat’s Version “I am required to discuss the revolt in Thessalonica: Well, there was a big revolt over there and they had a lot of trouble. And the Romans sent a lot of legions over there and a lot of them were destroyed that is—er—they got killed. And of course this made the Romans very angry and they sent for C;esar—and Ik Inst.: "I'll ask you a few questions, Mr. -----. Where is Thtssalonica • Goat: "Why, it’s in Asia, sir.” Inst.: "Was there a massacre ? ” Goat (hastily): "Yes sir, yes sir. There was a big massacre.” I n st. : "Who were massacred ?" Goat: "Well—well, t he v massacred each other." Inst.: “ Who was held responsible for this mas-»•» S.KTC r Goat: " The Roman Kmperor." Inst.: "What happened to him at the cathedral of Milan ?” Goat (after consulting his board): "The Rope made him stand out in the snow barefooted for two weeks.” Inst.: " That will do." What he expected—3.0. What he got—1.2.278 The H () W I T Z E R X oliloqup 1 can not plainly understand, If my love lor her is true, Why not wedded we sliotdd be When 1 don the Army blue. Of course, lieutenant's pay does not Far into thousands run, Hut then you do not need so much When two are to live as one: I’ll wear old clothes and hone cluck b»»ok Till my West Point life shall end, And hope that they will not approve General Corbin's recommend. Bankhead (on No. to. Hop night): “Halt! Who’s there?” Femme (from darkness): “Friend.” Greaser: “Advance, friend, to be recognized.” The Lady: “No I won’t either, cause if I did you wouldn’t recognize me. anyhow.” Halsey Dunwoody: “She smiled when I told her that joke.” Mike O’Donnell: “She must think she has pretty teeth.” OrDcre “Cadet Graves would like to hear of his class ring, lost at the hop last night.” “Cadet Bull would like to hear of his black jersey.” “Cadet Roemer would like to hear of his Ramsay’s Reader, and Cadet Ramsey would like to hear of his Roemer s reader.” “Cadets are reminded to take in their wash.” “Cadet Maul would like to hear of his shoes, size ill, width ‘ F “Every cadet shall arrange his belts, collars, gloves, handkerchiefs, underclothing, books, blouses, trousers, overcoats, etc., in neat piles on the second shelf of his clothespress and in no other place whatsoever.” “All cadets who did not apply for navy tickets yesterday may turn in their applications to Morrow some time today.” “The cadet who wrote this will have to write another.”The HOWITZER 279 ■f'poouoiD 2Jcn Men have done brave deeds And bards have sung them well. But I of young Ben iladad Will now the story tell. In corners of Flirtation A spoonoid bold was lie, Keen bis eye for biding place As any you should see. One summer afternoon Along Chain Batter)' walk Ben strode beside bis fair one, Pouring forth bis spoonoid talk. They spy a drowning man— An awful thing to see, “Help! Help!" be cried, “don’t be too late. Come lend a band to me.” I ben up spake Spoonoid Ben, “Go take yourself away! There’s a lady here, can’t you see that ? Go drown elsewhere, 1 say!” The lady fieri the sight And sought her chaperon, And Ben Iladad was free to act Since he was left alone. lie bravely saved the man And left him safe and sound: And ever since that valiant deed The household tale goes round How Spoonoid Benny l eild. With his own good right hand. W ithout a single thought of fear, Did save a drowning man.28o The H O W I T E R plrbc Pear It's Mister this ;nul Mister that: the Pie he Year’s one of strife. It’s “Mister, drag that chin in, well make a move with life!" It's “Mister, conic off slouching! Do you think this is a grind ? Well, if you do it won’t he long until you change your mind." ' Will! Mister, who are you, your name,—and where are you from r Don’t you suppose that Pnd. of yours was awfully on the hum? Mister! come off that smiling, is that meant to he II. }. ? Keep your slimy eyes away from here; turn that face the other way! It’s Mister this, it’s Mister that; it’s hrace and eat and sleep. It's march to the Mess Hall and feed on slum and antique meat. It's “Mister, come off eating, ’tention to orders, I sav; 'i’ou want m come off piping, don’t lean hack in your chair that way! It’s “(iunner, where’s the growley, is there a second round of cake ? You don’t know, well, why don’t you: You’d better keep awake!" It’s “Mister don’t ga .e around this Mess Hall in that indifferent wav, S’pose you sound-off loud enough so wc can all hear what you say!" It’s Mister this, it’s Mister that;—“You’re worthless as can he!" lint it’s, “Mister, will you please, write a hop-card out for me? I’ll he awfully much obliged, if you’d really just as soon. No, I’m not in a hurry, hut I’ll want it by this noon!" So it’s hustle, hustle, hurry at anybody’s call. And it’s move and step out lively for any one at all. Then, candidates, take my advice; listen to one who’s seen, Plehe life is simply ! well, it is anything hut a dream!“WVIl, watchyc gazin’ at me for : Sir!! S’pcsc you take those slimy green orbs of yours off me!! D’ye take me for a picture gallery? Don’t knock me tlown with that chin of yours, either!!! Drag’t in!! DVundcrstand : Drag’t in!!! More yet!!!!” SDtllcnrcs (After Ciiai'ki.): “The longer the spoke the greater the tire.” “Quick! Quick! Bring some water; the hen house is on fire anti the hens are so excited they are running about laying fried eggs.” “I’m going to have mv dog’s tongue split!” “Why?” “I think it would put creases in his pants." Powki.i.: “Oh, Miller! Have you got a pine stick ?” Wii.i.ie: “W hat kind of a pine stick, a philip-pinc stick ?” (Turn out a squad.) Second 'Class Dear The prophet hath a curious way His wonders to perform, I or he predicts a sunny day Anti straightway conies a storm. 281282 The H () W I T ' E R fate I. Hump! Hump! Hump! I land on the old elm tree— Celebrating my twenty-first birthday. O, would I were only three! II. Hump! Hump! Hump! On the poor dumb animal's spine: Hut the wrack on his back’s microcrithic Compared with what he docs to mine. III. Bump! Hump! Hump! I land on her delicate knees: 1 hate to be rude and indecent, Hut a hop is no place for L. P.’s. IV. Hump! Hump! Hump! While the wheels in my head go round. And 1 less out because on my noddle No math bump has ever been found. Law Instructor: “ Mr. Reisin-ger, you may go to the board and write the clause of the Constitution which gave Congress power to exclude the Chinese.” Jimmy (after scratching his head for a few moments,writes as follows): ‘‘NoChinese shall he allowed in the U. S.” at Hast Cadet: “What is that pretty little volume ?” Peckels: “That’s a newedition of‘Descrip.’” Cadet: “And what are all those hig volumes near it ?" Peckei.s: “Those are the interpolations.”The H O VV I T Z E R 28 iVtothrr Oooec filinnics Winky was a skiimid, Winky was a make, Winky was a (piilloid, in this he rook the cake. Hut, sad to say, in August poor Winky had hard luck. And now our little Winky is nothing hut a buck. OKI Mother Kddy with voice high and steady, Gave flic command, “Guard, attention." The tac was around and heard Kddy’s sound The skin list next day gave him mention. “Let's go to bed," says Manley bred. Says Willie Sep, “’T won't do; The loss of tenths would he immense, I'll speck until tattoo." anticipation “The time has come," the poor Plebe said, "To think of many things Of yearling camp, and corp'ral’s bars, ‘Flirtation’, hops, class rings; Of Hotel north porch episodes. The coming right to strut; Ol golf and tennis, Christmas leaves. And trips to old Fort Put; Of hoodie running into camp, ()f Furlough far away. Advice to next year's !L J. Plehe's, Our fess of yesterday: Of all these things, and many more For which we'll have to wait Till graduation day comes round In June of nineteen eight."284 The H C) W I T E R fire Organisation, Conduct in 'Case of fire and Capital Drill bp the U. .-S'. Corps of Cadets GENERAL Rui.e The fire engine will at all times be referred to as “General Belknap,” the hose cart as “Hustling Lizzie." Service of the General For the service of the General 28 men are required: 24 Chiefs of Detachments, 4 Suction Men. (Suction Men will precede the General to the fire and suck on the hydrant till the water comes.) Service of Hustling Lizzie Lor the service of Lizzie 34 men are required: 8 Chiefs of Detachments, 8 Assistant Chiefs, 2 Longue Men (to hold Lizzie’s tongue), 8 Rope Men, 4 Reel Men, 4 Lantern Men. (The Lantern men will run in front of Lizzie shouting “A la bonheur!”) Service of the Buckets Lor the service of the buckets 24 men are required: 4 Chiefs of Detachments, 4 Assistant Chiefs, 2 Lantern Men, 14 Bucket Men. (At the first alarm these men will rush to their posts, seize the buckets and lanterns between the thumb and forefinger of the right hand, light the buckets and fill the lanterns.) Details will also be made for the service of the Ladders and a Salvage Brigade. Typical Drill In the early part of December, 1904. orders from headquarters of the U. S. M. A. were received, stating that on a specified date at 4:15 I . M., a serious conflagration would break out on the reservation and that the cadet fire-fighters would be called upon to battle with the flames. In pursuance of this order the Commandant of Cadets named Captain Kid as Deputy Lire Chief and the rest of the l acs as assistants and lookers-on. Big Chief Seaweed and Nozzlcman Karlv didn’t figure in the shindy. On the fatal day at 4:1$ P. M., the drummer stationed in the area gave the alarm signifying that the fire was nicely started. The lid was ofl barracks in one and a half minutes by the clock; the cadets hustled slowly to their posts and in exactly one hour, the machinery of the greatest fire department of dead-beats on earth, was put in motion. The Genera) and Lizzie got under way and raced madly to the scene of the fire, travelling at the rate ofThe H () VV ITZER 2S5 two miles an hour. The hose now got B. |. and could not he prevailed upon to leave its position on the reel. Finally it was worried oft'and attached to the General, who, by this time, was coughing violently and evidently looking for light. At this stage of the game the laddcrmen hove in sight, bearing the twenty-eight ladders of the department. These were carefully placed in the middle of the road, while the detachment secured grand-stand seats on a near-by fence and began to hand out free advice. At this moment the Deputy Fire Chief approached, shooed the rail birds oft' their perch and commanded “Raise ladders, trot, March”; at which commands, the ladders were thrown at the building, putting thirty-nine panes of window glass hors de-combat and making the lawn look as though it had been struck by a Hock of 800-pound cast-iron, deck-piercing, hell-raising projectiles. “ Fot Lewis, weight 380 in the shade, mounted a 40-foot ladder and had reached the top round when the jovial nozzleman turned the stream of liquid mud on his expansive frame. Pot gravitated to terra firma, alighting on his neck and breaking his wishbone in two places. The Salvage Corps gathered him up and jackasscd him to the hospital, where his injuries were dressed by the post Blacksmith. Everything and everybody within range, having by this time been thoroughly soaked, an Emergency Court was summoned, sat. and declared that the fire was out, by order. BEFORE AND AFTER FURJ.Ot OH286 The H () W I T Z E R Drill The assembly had ceased and just as the last company reached the line the famous old war horse. Lindsay, was seen charging from Paradise Alley at a fast walk. Upon his back rocked a figure from whose eyes flashed fire as the sun’s rays were reflected from gold-rimmed spectacles. Ilis brow was wrinkled and his head bowed with the perplexity characteristic of infancy. He drew rein in front of the battalion’s center amidst subdued applause from the empty visitors' seats. With one sweep of his mighty arm he drew from its scabbard his trusty blade bright, flashing and untarnished his inseparable companion in many an unfought battle. n imperious gesture silenced the tumult of the absent throng and nought could be heard but the rattle of rifle butts against cadet store brogans as they trembled with apprehension, lie turned majestically to the gray-clad line and thus he sent the thrill of life along the ranks: Squads riqh t '.t'areb ! F'ult step! March!Guide right! Tut 0«1lV '"AY 1. COULD cfi ms A Scrapper Hensley (at pack train drill after four attempts to “qualify”): “Captain, I’ll never try to qualify again.” Dunwoody (after long engineering trip to Highland Falls Bridge, Engineer Barracks. Library, etc., etc.): “Well, I guess it is about time for me to take a permanentThe H O VV IT K k 287 S'trap JacjcG from a Car’s Dtarp December 18th. This has been ;i remarkably successful day for me, chiefly because I rot started well, I guess. On my way to the Guard House this morning, I passed the battalion coming from breakfast; got one make for not giving the commands with my celebrated Rising Inflection, and two men for not wearing ununiform shoes. In the afternoon, I drove the Corps out on the plain, resolved to make them sweat blood for an hour and a half. I was mounted, of course, on Montgomery, a fiery brute, a horse that few people care to ride; but I feel verv safe on his back, never losing my nerve, even when he wiggles his left ear,—a sure sign of death, so the cavalry files tell me. Maneuvered the Corps so as to get them into a column of companies, and then shouted the magic words “Double rime," nearly busting my G string on the last syllable. Ran them around the plain thirty-three times, then allowed them to halt, being careful to get them where the sun would get in its good work. Gave them one and a half minutes' rest, which is plenty; took mv place in front of the column and told them how rotten they were, at the same time heating a merry tatoo with my saber on my hoot, just to show how exasperated I had become with the drill. After cussing out the bucks and bootlicking the makes, I continued the ill ill, keeping them out ten minutes after recall. Returned to my office well pleased with the afternoon’s sport, occupying my brain with plans for the next day’s soiree. January 3d. Didn’t reach the l ac House until 8:15 this morning, as the Kid had just cut another tooth, and there was the devil to pay. Looked at my skin list for the day, and it wasn’t much to rejoice over, so 1 thought I would do some Sherlock Holmes specialties on the side, and gather in a few delinquencies to gladden my tactical heart. Slipped on my Noiseless Gums, snatched up a pair of field-glasses, and meandered to the west window in the Guard House.288 The H () W I T Z E R Adjusting the glasses, I took a careful survey of the barracks, looked in the rooms and hived two men not garbed in the necessary white-shirt. My spirits rose; 1 resolved to go further, so took up a station at the north window. Dismal failure. Not to he daunted, I wandered to the cast window. Success crowned my efforts, for on the abbreviated lawn in front of the second Div. lay three laundry bags. Here was a golden opportunity for some deep detective work. Calling an orderly I said to him, “Orderly, go over and examine those bags, see if any one of them looks as though it had been thrown from a window and. if so. ascertain the name on it and report to me.” He returned in a few minutes and said that one of them looked as though it had been dropped from a great height and that it was marked with Cadet Albright’s name. Here was a chance to get that Mr. Albright, who is entirely too blase to suit this department, so I dispatched the orderly to summon him into my magnificent presence. I le came. I said to him, “ Mr. Albright, did you make out a wash list this morning after 8 o’clock ?” He replied, “Yes sir, and I threw the hag out of the window." This made me feel pretty good so I wrote down all the skins, went over to the Club and opened a bottle of vichy for my brother tacs. February 28th. Had a bad dream last night. Had taken charge of a new company the day before and dreamed that I had forgotten to tell the Cadet Captain to publish an order directing that Cadets should keep their black ties on the second shelf, also that the bedding should be piled pyramid fashion. I bis bedding stunt was of my own invention. It takes twice as long to do it and it looks like the devil when it’s finished. At any rate I woke up with a start and resolved to settle my mind with respect to the black ties. Dressing hastily and slipping a bull’s-eye lantern in my pocket, I hiked for barracks. It was just about midnight when I ascended the stairs of the 4th Div. Noiselessly entering one of the rooms. I turned on Little Bright-eyc. Looking in the clothes-press I saw that the dream had played me false, for there, reposing modestly on the second shelf, was the black tie. I was mad clear through and swore I’d skin some-one in that room or bust. Walking over toward the alcoves, my feet became entangled in a network of cords. I scented danger immediately but resolved to die bravely. Reaching down, I grabbed the cords, giving them a powerful pull; and lo, the window went up with a crash, the door slammed, the gas lighted and a cadet boundedThe H O VV I T Z E R 289 to the floor and began hastily dressing himself. I felt prettycheap, but thought I'd break it off in him so that the laugh wouldn’t be on me. 1 inspected him from top to toe and finally hived a button missing. So I wrote down in my little book: Ridley—Button off pajamas at 12:10 A. M. inspection, he being in the third grade. Suspicion? The Waiter: “No milk tonight. The River is frozen.” I is plain to me that chevrons must, Though some will not aver it, Be all obtained on bootlick, since None have been got by Merritt. Wanted all that fcuao coming ro him Breech-Loader Wii.i.iams (marching to cad. Bldg., to section driver): “Say! Don’t I get route step when I walk behind Magruder?” nquerre “ Pot" Graves (reciting in Cav. I). R.): “ When a man enters the stall of a horse he doesn’t know, the man speaks first."290 'The II () W I T E R latest oolts ncffiUcD “An Lxhausteo Treatise on Astronomy” with numerous Helpless Hints for Shooting the Sun. “Fat” Morrisson. A mine of information for astronomers.—Police Gazette. Confessions of a P. S.- Doug McKay. This hook reveals the author’s intense interest in the subject.- News of the Highlands. Four Years in Jaii.. Mike O Donnell. A straight-forward narrative which proves an interesting revelation of the interior workings of the (Jovernmenr Incubator. It’s alive on the inside. — Picayune. The Catacomb Indians. Chip Hawes. Mr. Hawes knows intimately this extraordinary tribe who have camped for many years at West Point.- Ladies' Ilonte 'Journal. How to Cirow Hair on a Billiard Bai l. Venus Grubbs. The author’s flowing locks attest to his knowledge of the subject. Home Companion. Six-Hour Sojourns at Vassar. Bill Prosser. Hand-Book of Roaring Grinds. By Hell Williams. A volume of moss-covered jokes originating in the Garden of hden. [ I he author has nerve to publish ir.— '. .] Long Shots on all Subjects.- Spec Walker. The Dope Book. A collection of poems. Maud Albright. Adventures of a Hopoid.—Pot Graves. Mr. Graves was formerly a non-combatant with the fair sex, but he has become so tractable that he will now eat from a lady’s hand. The Use and Abuse of the Quii.l.—Burns Magruder. Reads like an ‘‘expressly prepared, etc.” text-book. Strongly recommended to ambitious plebes.The H O W I T E R 291 MII.ITARY IvilQUKTTI5.—ANONYMOUS. This hook advises that full-dress uniform shall he worn in place ot pajamas, tells one not to cat ice cream with an oyster fork and many other useful hints for ignoranii. ilJouudcti pnDc Rutherford (driving section): “ Daly, get up in that blank file." Ciiari.es Dudley: "Why, Rutherford, that’s the rear rank." Jimmie W.: “Mr. Dickey, didn’t I tell you to represent the battle with cross sabres?” Dickey: “Yes, sir." J.: “Well, how did you represent an engagement?" i).: “With a ring, sir”Published for the benefit of' our struggling relatives and others who try to read our letters. A. B — Area Bird. One who promenades or who has promenaded on the area. Analyt. -Analytical Geometry. Area— Rectangle bounded by Academic Building, Barracks, Bath Rooms, Boiler House and Guard House. A place whereon many good soles are made hol(e)v and poor souls unholy. B. A.— Busted Aristocrat. One who once wore chevrons but has fallen under the ban of i he T. I). Babe—The youngest member of a class. B-acbr An explanation for a skin; also to work the voice overtime. B-aeber -One who b-aches. Beast—An animal lacking intelligence, viz., a new cadet. Beast Barracks - Asylum for new cadets. B-rssy—An adject ve used to describe a person addicted to the use of superfluous or flowery language. Big Green B. S.—Popular name for Williams’ “Composition and R hetoric." B. y.— Bold before June. Characteristic of plebes. Blue Book — Regulations concocted to keep the Corps on the straight and narrow. Bone To study: to seek to corner the tenths. To seek and find as “to bone up a skag.” Bone Gallery—To play to the grandstand in order to make the ladies say “Ah!” Bone Chevrons—I seek the approbation of the T. I). Bone Toast—To obtain a place on an athletic team for the purpose of appeasing hunger. Bonoul ()ne who scrambles for the tenths; a worker- John I lammond. Boodle—Una ut horized feeda bIes. Iloodler's- Place where boodle is obtained. Bootlick—To coddle; to favor specially. Potent factor in obtaining a make.The H () W I T Z I : R 293 Brace To cause ro assume an exaggerated military position. One of the lost arts. Brown—1 he filthy weed. . .S'.— British science: the Knglish language. Superfluous talk. Buck— A private in the ranks. Hu gif- To deadbeat reciting until the bugle sounds dismissal. Bull— Hull Durham Tobacco, also Tipton. lust—To deprive of chevrons; to relegate one to the ranks. Cadet Limits Limits of the reservation of the Government Incubator, to which cadets arc supposed to confine their footsteps. Cadet Sto t A combine from which cadets are compelled to purchase things necessary and unnecessary. Managed by King Mac and numerous retainers. Calf ule—Calculus. Cits—Glad rags; civilian clothes; civilians. Cow.—Commandant of cadets. Cons Confinement to room; summary punishment awarded cadets for offences either actual or fancied. Cold Max — Perfect; all that can be desired. Cold Less Dismal failure. Corft. A cadet corporal. Military bootlick in its embryo state. Crawl—To correct. Dad Patriarch of a class. Dead Heat To avoid working. One who endeavors to avoid exertion in any form. Detail A system employed by instructors in handing out mental gymnastic stunts at recitations. Pis. Discipline. Dir.—One of the twelve divisions of barracks. Drag To accompany; as, to drag a femme. To inhale; as, to drag on a skag. To carry; as, to drag the mail. I). T.— Double time. A hobby of the T. D. Duerot Nom de plume for an object or person whose name is either unknown or of no importance. '. C. F — l irst class privileges. Femme—A member of the fair sex. Fiend—One who is very skillful or a past-master at anything. Fiendish— C lever, remarkable; also eminently O. K.. as, ‘a fiendish femme.” File—A member of the sterner sex. Flirtation Walk bordering on the noble Hudson. Spoonoids’Mecca. Found Discharged for deficiency in studies or conduct. Fume To smoke.The H () VV I T Z E R 294 Gaff—Synonym for golf. Goat Ranking man in class, section, or other unit counting from the bottom. Synonymous with the obsolete term “ Immortal. ’ Grind—A story ; a joke ; an odd character. Gross Assinine; wooden; stupid. Adjective applied to a Parlor Blacksmith. Groicley- -Tomato Ketchup. I five—To comprehend; also to discover ; as, “ to hive boodle. Unpaid A disciple of Terpsichore. Laundry Spike A femme employed in the laundry ; also a large pin. Lights out A warning cry, signifying the approach of some high muek-a-muck. upon hearing which all hands take to the woods; also used at taps. L. P. “One who steps on your roes at every hop and hops on your toes at every step." Little Green li. S.—Abbot’s “ How to Write Clearly. " Make—One of the Corn’s own; a wearer of chevrons. Makings I he material of a home-made skag. Mathy- On familiar terms with mathematics. Missouri National Whistling chorus guaranteed to produce rain. Muck Muscle, strength. 0. G.—Officer in charge; tactical officer on duty at guard house to see that the sun rises in time for reveille and sets in time for retreat. (). I).—Officer of the Day; cadet detailed as Lord High Wielder of the Official Quill. 0. G.—Officer of the Guard. O. G. P. -Old guard privileges a relic of bygone days. Orderly Masculine French maid; cadet responsible for cleanliness of a room. Phil—Philosophy. Plcbc—A Plebeian or fourth classman; more to he censured than pitied. P. M. .. Practical Military F.ngincering; a particular delight of yearling camp. Policed To get rid of; to eject from; also to cause to fall off, as “ his horse policed him." Poop Deck—Balcony on the guard house used as a lookout towei by the O. C. P. S. Post Spoonoid. One who attends five o’clocks for the purpose of feeding his face. Pipe—A trance; a vacant far-awayness; also something extremely easy as, “that exam was a pipe." Pred.—Predecessor. Qjtill—(Noun) Disciple of the skin book; (Verb) To endeavor to bone bootlick in any form.The HOWI T ' E R 295 Quilloid One who quills. Red II. S. Mciklcjoim’s “English Language.” Rep. Reputation. Reverse Inverted bootlick. Run it out—To vamoose; to fly the coop; to absent one’s self without leave. Run it on—To impose upon; to give another the nub end of a deal. Sammy The Right Reverend Doctor Samuel; Molasses; part of the table d’hote banquets a la Mess Hall. Sep A cadet who enters in September; a name frequently applied to those who have the general characteristics of one. Short Mean; having a warped disposition. Shag—Ciga rette. Skin -(Noun) A report: (Verb) To report for violation of regulations. Skin-list daily record of heinous crimes. Skinoid One who skins. Slop To apply water colors. Slum A Mess Hall stew; constituents in dispute. Soiree -A tedious performance; a tiresome ordeal at which attendance is compulsory; an obsolete function for the education of plebes. Sound Of] A public talk; the giving of a command at drill; also a command to talk or answer as, “Sound off, Mr. Ducrot.” Speck- To commit to memory; one who commits to memory. Spcikoid One who specks. Spiel- A line of talk. Spoon To cavort with femmes. Spoonoid—One who spoons. Step out- To accelerate one’s motion. Stipe- Superintendent of the U. S. M. A. Tac—A tactical officer; Latter-day Saint; an example to be emulated by cadets. Tar llticket A cadet dress hat. T. I). Tactical Department. Tenth- One-thirtieth part of the maximum mark; worshiped as a god by the tenthoids. Tenthoid—A hard student; one who endeavors to take in as many tenths as possible. Tie-up To bungle; to make a failure of. Trig- Trigonometry. Turn back A cadet who has been suspended or put back into a lower class. Wooden Senseless, foolish, gross; said of one who ties up everything. ) earling—A third classman.ALLfto-py MUST BE turkeb n ummo. LA5TCHANCFM LAST HOPE GET A avi ey o' WnUtW o.'Ayl'hlw Fay HowWxcr yeV ? ? PEOPLE AKE :qoinq H THIS LS N I you AN XU THI 7K«Tac. DEPT? XWe. HM-L i? E D TAPE t |sS,(w OF these ;vn a’ OLDSkates?? ow ANH yovi WILE have WARM FEETThe H () W I T ' E R 297 4Nilmaguuin A lirrle more focus, please. At a walk! At a walk! Let’s pet at the meat of this subject. Hold your load! You would take it down to the laboratory and weigh it, wouldn’t you r Coldest blulF—steam radiator. Captain, 1 try hard; I do the very best I can. ♦ Fe, H, foil, fum! I smell a pot of Mess Hall slum. Put your arm around me, Clarence. Well, I’m going to take you on a little trip today, down the Nile. Did you ever see a live clam ? Miner’s inch —Osborne. Not at all, not at all; that is Calcareous tufa. (Jrasp de aparejo mit de turn and forefinger of de right hand—----• Mr. Barber, Mr. Barber, stick yo ha id out! I vas ashamed of Vest Point. Suppose you had been section marcher. Wite, dwess! Wobbins in de weah wank! Dwess back on de wite! Fwont! West!2 ;S The H () W I T Z E R Put a liT acid on it. ♦ K. M. K. Everlasting Missonii Hood. Now if those guides had been smart. If you have green apples in one hand and red apples in the other hand— Through the coil—through the coil —looking through the coil! Absent treatment—five and ten. Do you call that sicklv-looking little thing a cube? If this figah was drawn accurately------ [ust wake up your comrade over there. Any cadet not got that, staiT up! “ I can not linger longer, Phil kiss me good night,” she said. The Slide Rule—I ogarithmic trombone. L. P. Exposition Is a name that well agrees With its subject—all the ladies That I saw there were L. P.’s.Anticipation .......... pack 28j At Oscawana ........... 25 At Reveille ........... 258 Awakening, The .......... 245 13-ache.........................................260 Hull Pen.......................................26. Class Celebrities ..... .... 247 Comme dantb vie ........ . 272 Daily Grind, Pile .......... 264 Drill...........................................286 Kclioes from Port Totten ......... 257 Involutions of a 'Pac . ........ 298 Pate............................................282 l ire Organization .......... 284 Great Anvil Chorus, I he . . . . . . • • 248 In the Swim .... ...... 269 Knocking . . . ........ 265 Latest Books Received ... ...... 290 Love’s Comedy ........... 242 Mi lie rites....................................281 Modern I able ........... 268 Mother Goose Rhymes ... 283 Only way he could get bis "A" . . . . . . . 286 On Mount Olympus .......... 240 Orders ............ 278 Overheard at the ’l ac’s I ent ........ 264 Plebe's Lament, A ......... 25 Pie be Year.....................................280 Poster . 29(1 Revolt in Thessalonica ......... 277 Ride of 1905 ..... 255 Salmagundi ........... 297 Skin-list..................................... 262 Soliloquy, A .... ... 278 Spoonoid Ben ..... 279 Stray Pages from a l ac’s Diary . . ..... 287 Tete-a-tete in the Corn’s Office . ..... 263 Typical Correspondence ... ..... 274 Typical Writ in Astronomy ... 261 West Point Slang .... .... 292 What a Brief Minute Meant . . ..... 246With pipe and song wc’tl too along ■Till this short tmir is through. Aut) all among our lolual throng li a ir boimrb the Vlrmn 2?ltif. Cho. Co Ethics, llXmrrologn, iCub ■Ongmrmng, too. We’ll bib goob bnc without a sigh flnb bon the ?lriiin 23iuc. Clio.=rz INDEX TO ADVERTISEMENTS Albemarle Park Co., The . I'Ai.K 21 Alexander, A 6 Allien Henry V., Co. . ■ ) Armour Co 35 Armstrong Mfg. Co., The E. A. Army Navy Journal 24 44 Astor Hotel 33 Atlas Portland Cement Co. 37 Bassette Company. The K. A. 45 Bent Bush .... 1 » Bethlehem Steel Co., The 40 Brooks Bros., The . •4 California Powder Works 3 Cammeyer Co. 27 Charles Co 4 Charlottesville Woolen Mills . 3 Claflin, H. B. Co. 15 Coale, Henry K. 23 Colt’s Patent Firearms Mfg. Co. 7 Crane, R. D. Co. . 28 Crouch Fitzgerald 9 Delaney Co. 35 Dobler Co. lb Donavin Co. 4 Dreka Co., The 39 Ebbitt House, The 28 Franklin Mills Co.. The . 42 General Electric Co. 34 (lorham Co., The 9 Gurley, W. I.. E. . Haas, John G. 20 21 Hall Ruck el 28 Hatfield Sons 7 Hovt Co. to Heinz Co., The H. J. 23 Hilton Howard 32 Horstmann Co., The Win. II. . '3 Houghton Richards 3$ Jeffrey Mfg. Co., The 23 Johnson, Arthur Co. 39 Johnson Crosley .... iwc.k 13 Keep Mfg. Co., The . . .11 Kcuffel Esser Co. . . . .22 Knox. E. M. 15 K os ter Co., The C. II.................37 Lemckc Buechner . . . .16 Mack Mfg. Co., The . . . .42 Mason Regulator Co., The . 41 McCutcheon Co. . . .29 McManus, B. F. .... 24 Memorial Volumes, The . . . .39 Metropolitan I.ife Ins. Co.. The . 44 Middleton, John . ... 28 Morse Rogers..........................10 Murray Hill Hotel.......................25 Nelson, Edward A. .... 7 Newark Trunk Co.........................16 New York Life Ins. Co., The . . .12 Pleasant Valley Wine Co., The . 32 Prudential Life Ins. Co., The . . 2,3 Raven Gloss Mfg. Co., The . . .21 Rendle, Arthur E. . . . . .41 Rice Duval.............................8 Rumford Chemical Works, The . 38 Sandford Sandford . . . .18 Schmidt Co., The F. J...................22 Simon, Julius ..........................18 Smith Wesson...........................5 Spalding Bros. . . . . 43 Staples, James A........................32 Stetson Co.............................6 Sussfeld, Lorsch Co...................26 Thepure Baking Powder Co.. The . . 41 Tiffany Co.............................1 Troy Laundry Machinery Co.. The . . 36 Van Deusen Co., The C. A. . . 37 Walker, Hiram Sons . . -3© Wallen Co.............................uj Warnoek Uniform Co.. The . . .27 Young Bros. ... ..13THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER Makers of United States Military Academy Class Rings Class Cups Testimonials Trophies, for Field and Aquatic Sports Visiting Cards and Stationery for the Social Uses of Officers and their Families TIFFANY CO. always welcome a comparison of prices Union Square New York Tiffany Co. Diamond and Gem Merchants, Gold and Silver Smiths, Stationers and Dealers in Artistic Merchandise. Information for Purchasers Tiffany Co. are strictly retailers They do not employ agents or sell their wares through other dealers Their prices are as reasonable as is consistent with the best workmanship and a quality worthy of the name of the house The minimum quality of Tiffany Co. jewelry is 14-karat gold All their silverware is of English sterling quality, 925 1000 fine Mail Orders Attention is directed to the facilities of Tiffany Co.’s Mail Order Department. On advice as to requirements and limits of price, they will send to responsible parties photographs, cuts or other descriptions in detailTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER THE PRUDENTIAL INSURANCE COMP'Y AMERICA INCORPORATED AS A STOCK COMPANY BY THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY JOHN F. DRYDEN. President HOME OFFICE. Newark. N. J. ([Stronger Financially, and in the Confidence of the Public than Ever Before 2 A Year of Greatest Gains in Progress, Security and Usefulness “Officers of the army arc beginning to understand how .utd where to place their insurance. Mr. A. W. McNeil, the Manacer of the Army and Navy Department of The Prudential Insurance Company of America, lias drawn in under the protective wings ot The Prudential a very large number ol officers who are realising what it is to become ixdicyholdcrs in this ‘Pock of Gibraltar.' Officers can rely upon whatever Mr. McNeil tells them regarding insurance, and as io the Comp.iny. there is none lietter,”—Kxtrat t from Journal' of the Military Strviee hut it at ion. TWENTY-NINTH ANNUAL STATEMENT : January 1, 1905 Assets, over.......................................88 Million Dollars Liabilities. Including Reserve ( 573.900.000 1..... 75 Million Dollars Surplus, over ............ 13 Million Dollars Increase in Assets, over...........................lb Million Dollars Paid Policyholders during 1904. over...............13 Million Dollars Total Payments to Policyholders, to Dec. 31. 1904. over ... 92 Million Dollars Number of Policies in force, nearly................b Million Increase in Number of Policies in force, over .....One-half Million Cash Dividends and other Concessions not Stipulated in Original Contracts and Voluntarily Given to Holders of Old Policies to Date, over 5 Million Dollars Over One Billion Dollars Life Insurance in Having for Fifteen Tear, made a .'' malty of At my lniurar.ee, am in a fo iti n 10 under uanJ tie r eed- of lie terviee. Referenee i giver, to hundred of sufi.fied fo.iey-holder , ir,e.uding off.ctr in every brand of tie unite, icho have tn uranee with me. A. W. McNeil Manager Army and Navy Department : Third Floor Prudential North Building NEWARK. NEW JERSEY Force Life Insurance Issued and Paid for During 1904. over 312 Million Dollars l-artfcst in the History of the Company A. W. Mi Nkii. Manager Army and Navy DefarlmerrtTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER NO EXTRA PREMIUMS ON ARMY OFFICERS’ POLICIES in Peace or in War Except for those Assigned to Duty on the Isthmus of Panama HAVE YOU SEEN MACK?" The Prudential Offers Extremely Liberal Inducements for Army Officers to secure Life Insurance, or to add to that which they have. BENEFITS Telegraph — One-half of policy can be arranged in case of death, to be paid by telegraph. Cash. Paid-up and Extended Insurance Values, exact amounts stated in Policy; on Endowments after 2 years and on Whole Life and Limited Payment Life Policies after three years. No reduction in Extended Insurance or any Surrender Values on account of cMililary Service.) Grace in Payment of Premium — One month’s grace is given without interest during which time polic is in force. Loans on Policies—Loans made at 5 percent, interest per annum in advance up to the amount named in policy. Dividends—Officers’ Policies are placed in a special Military (.'lass for apportionment of l)i idends. Liberal policies are also offered to Officers of the Navy. THE PRUDENTIAL INSURANCE CO. OF AMERICA Incorporated as a Stock Company by the State of New Jersey JOHN F. DRYDEN. President HOME OFFICE. Newark. N. J. Write 10-dav for information at your age, A. W. Mt'NKIL, Manager Army and Navy Dc|virtment. Newark, N. J " 'I u " does business by Correspondence. Write for Particulars.4 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER WE CAN SAVE YOU MONEY Dress anti sertitre £1 informs, Ctt. t),n c a S.00I; Dress Uniforms C. D. Grade .... $12.00 Dress Uniforms E. Grade .... 14.00 Dress Uniforms F. G. Grade .... 16.00 Dress Uniforms H. Grade .... 17.00 Elsewhere they will cost you SiX.oo to $6c.oo Standard Olive Drab Covert Overcoat, olive flannel lined to order.......................22.00 Standard Olive Drab Serge I informs . . 12.00 Standard 16 o . Olive Drab Serge Uniform . 14.00 Re-inforccd Breeches add .... Si.5° Standard Khaki Uniforms, stock . . . 3-5° Standard Khaki Uniforms to order . . 4 5° Re-inforccd Breeches add .... 75 Best Sabres ....... 10.00 Stetson Campaign Hats.................4 °° Olive Drab Shirts........... 3 °° High Cut (bellows tongued) Shoe . y°° u,‘l 4 °° EVERY I HINT. IKKI) IN YOUR OUTFIT VI' SAMI' PROPORTIONATELY' I.OW I’RICKS, THE U. s. STANDARD D. »NAVIN-lll'NT I II |.„ R ANGES HE DON U N M I PURPOSE MILD CART. ETC. WE ALSO MAN IT ACTl'RK. |( R || II (IO T,R N l KNI (JKORGE B. DON AVI N AND COMPANY Inventors, Originators, Manufacturers and Dealers in Military Supplies. V. S. Government Contractors CX)!.I:Mill'S, OHIO 44 to jo E. 43d Sr. New York City Steamer Baskets a Specials v TRAOl MARKTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER SMITH WESSON Military REVOLVER and Police MODEL 1902 points of srppp opm 10. 11. 12. 13. H. lf». 1«. Stop i» positive in it' action, and holds the cylinder in perfect alignment with the totrel, regardless of any other part mechanism. Cylinder not he are reinforced with hardened steel pieces, to prevent notches from Incoming worn by the impact of the cylinder stop against die sides of the notches. All the Minll spring are s deal, thereby in-eventing the danger of breaking, a dc'cct common to all small flat springs. I.ock st"d arc screwed into the frame, have collars raised a rove its surface, and, in conjunction with steel bosses milled on the side plate, hold all working part central and prevent Iriction. Locking pin works in hardened collar set into frame. Hard-nca collar set into extractor and RtWed above the ratchet teeth. Ties collar impinges upon the collar in frame, prevents the rat. het teeth fiom toming in contact with the frame, and forms a hardened surface which saves the cylinder from longitudinal wear and loosening. _ A positive cylinder loc k, so constructed that the cylinder cannot be thrown out when the arm is cocked, or the arm cocked when 'he cylinder is out, thereby making it absolutely impossible to disc 11 up. ,|,c ,,rm n,lt u|jy Strong solid extractor rod, and Ih ss on band to fill space between barrel and rod when pistol Ls closed, to prevent landing of rod. Hammer nose so shaped that the blow will be in dirr, t line with the cartridge, thus preventing the copttcr front being of prim- r, as bv the us 1 I rakitt • blow of the solid hammer none driven towards the bottom Itarrcl sc rewed into pi tec. brought to perfc t ali .-nine-til by •" tliiplviug gauges and ninnid i'nto'po.ition. This i- radical improvement over tl. • me bod of screwing the tom-1 against shoulder t. -h cuond, to draw the stock of barrel. Cylinder so numbered tint the toll on leaving r-J.cll fids the front end of o Itnder and or v nts excessive loss of gas. Stud and spring fitted in the yoke and working into a small detent in the lo |ircVcnl lh. t lllM|cr f,„nt swinging loosely when tile arm is aliened. Fast with which the arm can be onerated with one hand. Convenience in assent I din; and disassembling. The head of extractor and extractor stem are made in one piece. It is therefore impossible for the extractor head to turn on stem. Forward cylinder locking device which holds the cylinder in perfect alignment with tomrl and insure increased accuracy. SMITH c£f YV ESSO N :: Sp mgfields MassachusettsTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER ALEXANDER SHOES We Refer to Thousands of Army and Navy Officers who Wear no other Make RANGE OF PRICES Men’s . . 52.00 to $10.00 Women's . 2.00 to 9.00 Hoys’ . . 1.50 to 4.50 (iirls . 1.50 to 4.00 Children’s 1.50 to 3.50 Infants’ . 1.00 to 1.75 SIXTH AVENUE :: N. E. CORNER 19th STREET CCATALOGUES. Free deliverv to arts Post Office address in the United States or dependencies on purchases of hive Dollars or over. THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER HATFIELD SONS Kitabltihtd 8jjt Sailors mtb Smporters 450 Fifth Ave.y near oth St. NEW YORK 3 MAKERS OF THE FINEST UNIFORMS AND LEADERS OF STYLES IN CIVILIAN DRESS Edward A. Nelson iHtrrijant STnilor POUGHKEEPSIE NEW YORKTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER RICE DUVAL HIGHEST GRADES OF ARMY UNIFORMS AND CIVILIAN DRESS - 3' Broadway, New 1 ork Opp. New York Post O ficeTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 910 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER Jlctrr li. $ oyt anti (Company MERCHANT TAILORS MEN’S FURNISHERS MAIN GARDEN STREETS POUGHKEEPSIE, N. V. MORSE fc? ROGERS Specialties in Boots, Shoes and Leggings for the Army and Navy l oR Catalogues, Prices, Etc., Address “Contracting Department Arthur I. Benedict, Manager 134 to 140 DUANE STREET NEW YORKTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER u Makers of KEEP’S SHIRTS WE MANUFACTURE ALL THE SHIRTS WE SELL, AND THIS FACT CERTAINLY SHOt LI) APPEAL TO YOU. WE CARRY IN STOCK. IN ADDITION TO OUR IMMENSE VARIETIES OF SHIRTS, THE LARGEST RANGE OF FURNISHINGS FOR MEN, AND MAKE A SPECIALTY OF ALWAYS HAVING “OUT OF SEASON” GOODS. IF IN MIDSUMMER YOU NEED WINTER WEIGHTS AND STYLES, WE CAN ALWAYS SUPPLY A FULL ASSORTMENT OF DESIRABLE MERCHANDISE. AT MOST REASON ABLE PRICES S . 'BtoaDtta? :: 'iscttpccn iltl) anD I2tl) Streets :: l orli IVe have no other Store in New York Please Send for booklet—It is Free JUST ISSUED Manual oj Instruction or the j.2 Inch Quill and Larger Calibres EXTRACTS €L “ Cadets may exercise with the ijuiil at any time during release from |uarters.” " Quills will Ik- kept in good condition at all times and ready for instant use. This rule is general.” PREPARED FOR THE USE OF CADET OFFICERS AND NON-COM MISSIONED OFFICERS BY THE DEPARTMENT OF TACTICS «L " An extra «]uill will he kept in a convenient place for cases of emergency.”i2 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER NEW YORK LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY — mil issue Army and Navy Officers their Ordinary Life, 'Twenty Payment Life and Endowment Accumulation Policies, classified as to dividends, without any conditions or extra charge o in times of war, or for foreign service 3 For Particulars Address T. K. Me ILROY SUITE 1917 PARK ROW BLDG., NEW YORK CITYTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER f- = == | Wm. H. Horstmann Company FIFTH AND CHERRY STREETS - - - - PHILADELPHIA Army and Navy Officers Uniforms and Equipments Branch Offices : NEW YORK, 459 Broadway, Cor. Grand. BOSTON, 7 Temple Place V - J The best that Skill and Money can Produce and Sold at Popular Prices Main Office 605, 60 J and 6o() Broadway, NEW YORK CITY ■Johnson Crosier 279 WEST 119TH STREET :: NEW YORK C.Drsigncd and made for Army and Navy Officers.. A place for everything and all in separate compartments MILITARY AND NAVAL Suit Cases, Toilet Cases, Transportation Trunks14 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER Established r8lS BROOKS BROTHERS Broadway, Corner 221) Street New York Fine Uniform and Civilian Clothing English Haberdashery Hats Shoes House Garments Leather and Wicker 7 'ravelling and Toilet Articles EtcEtc. UNIFORMS for O F I ' I C E R S of the UNITED STATES ARMY C.A Distinctive Department of over seventy-five years’standing, in which are infused new ideas, to keep abreast of the changes in Regulations and new conditions of the service. WE ASK ESPECIAL ATTENTION TO OUR FULL DRESS UNIFORMS, IN WHICH THE HIGHEST RESULTS ARE OBTAINED THROUGH THE USE OF FINE MATERIALS AND HIGH CLASS WORKMANSHIP. Military Mackintoshes, Regulation Pigskin Leggings, Trunks, Valises, Kit Bags and all requisites for Travel by Land or Sea. English Polo Caps and Helmets. OUR RIDING BREECH ES ARE MADE BY SKILLED WORKMEN, FORMERLY CON NECTED WITH THE BEST MILITARY SHOPS OF LONDON Particular attention is paid to the outfitting of Officers, stationed at posts distant to our city CATALOGUES, SAMPLES, ETC., MAILED ON REQUESTTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER SHEETS AND PILLOW CASES MADE BY THE DEFENDER MANUFACTURING COMFY OWNED AND OPERATED BY % )t % 33. eiflfltn Company N?:v York ARE UNSURPASSED FOR FINENESS OF TEXTURE, BEAUTY OF FINISH, EXCELLENCE OF WORKMANSHIP AND DURA-B I L I T Y O F W E A R . QUALITY CONSIDERED THEY ARE CHEAP AS THE CHEAPEST AND U N D O U B T E D L Y T H E V E R Y B E S T. KNOX HATS STANDARD OF FASHION EVERYWHERE Address all Communications to Knox Building, 4 2 Fifth Avenue. Agencies in all Cities Other Establishments: 194 th Ave. (5th Avc. Hotel), 21 2 Broadway (Cor. Fulton St.)i6 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER C. Dobler Company ARMY AND NAD7' TAILORS S 4 FOURTH AVENUE NEW YORK We also make high class civilian clothes at prices that are medium and at terms that are agreeable. NEWARK Trunk Company 17 WEST 42D STREET :: NEW YORK Officer’s Trunk, 3 Qualities, $ 15.00, $20.00, $25-00 Room for the Opera and Silk Hat, Etc. Everything has its place Also Suit Cases, Toilet Cases, Folding Umbrella Kit, English Club Bags and 100 Styles of Trunks to choose from Hemcke JSuedjncr KttaNitktii JyA ■ornurly ft. If 'tslfrmouu fr Co. FOREIGN BOOK SELLERS AND IMPORTERS 11 €aet 17tI) Street, JOriu PorkTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER i7 Colt’s Patent Firearms Mfg Co. HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT Wr inanufacture 20 different models of Revolvers in various calibres; also a complete line of Automatic Pistols. Complete Catalogues on Applicationi8 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER Sand ford and Sand ford MERCHANT TAILORS AND I f POP T PC n( fifth sU’enue, «■«« jjJ 1 iVl I UI 1 Ivl 0 ilHa JSJ s„((n NEfr roRK Special rates to ARMY and NAVY OFFICERS and CADETS JULIUS SIMON jttanufacturrr of SUl LunUs of JMantirl ©Inrts, j rgligrr etc. ©Ijirts for gpilitarp araDnmre a Specialty 6, 8 and io GREAT JONES STREET NEW YORK CITY20 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER W. L. E. GURLEY Established 1845 :: TROY, NEW YORK :: Incorporated 1900 C,Largest Manufacturers in America of Field Instruments for Civil, Hydraulic and Mining Engineers and Land Surveyors. Also Makers of Physical and Scientific Instruments, also Standard Weights and Measures for Schools and Colleges as well as for Special Work Transits V-Lcvc s Current-Meters Plane- Ta hies Compasses Sextants . Inemometers Barometers h'.te. Illustrated Catalogue mailed on applicationTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 19 HENRY V. ALLIEN SUCCESSORS TO HORSTMANN BROS. V ALLIEN s S 3k. 6? CO. ESTABLISHED 1815 Importers and Manufacturers of Army, Navy £? National Guard Goods Button Military Ornament and Accoutrement Manufacturers Gold and Silver Laces Cords. Fringes Etc. 734 BROADWAY Telephone. 1992 Spring NEW YORK The SPECIAL BLEND “Homs Coffee which is being supplied to the Officers and Cadet Mess at West Point represents a combination of the very finest coffees obtainable, blended in such proportions that produce the very be stresults. •iThis coffee is roasted every day and can be shipped to any part of the United States in lots of not less than five pounds at 35c per pound, roasted in the bean with express charges prepaid. i In placing your orders please mention this journal. 2 Respectfully yours 0corijc iPallcn Co. 87 Front Street 5 . 3 . New Fori City Crouch Fitzgerald Makers of RELIABLE TRUNKS, BAGS, SUIT CASES, ETC. Our (i6cJ have beer uuJ by Ojfuert far jo tears Send far Catalogue 688 Broadway, below Fourth Street ; 161 Broad way, below Cortlandt Street; 723 Sixth Avenue below 42d Street r r f if NEW YORKTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER JOHN G. HAAS fctmforms jy East Orange St., La master, Pennsylvania H R A N C U O E F IC E S 250 fifth Aucnur J )rui Pork €itp 130S f S'tirrt, JO. it ., li nobing;ton. £). €. IV(U kntAvn to HR MY OFFICERS for the p.ttt Thirty Ye.trt jU. jU S - CADET SHOE I) R E S S N G Cisco at West point • A liquid, that dries on tin-, leather, and produces a polish with rubbing. rKxccllent lor patent leather, call'and all kinds of dry hlack leather. Put up in to and 25-cenr bottles, and in tin tubes suitable for mailing, at 15 and 30 cents respectively. In quantities of one gross or more, can he ordered through Purchasing k oinmis-saries. For single package, il not lor sale in your vicinity, send to the Raven Gloss Mfg. Co. y, WHITE STREET jk SEW TORE Stsijcl'illr : 31. €. (Tl)f Land of tljr Jtfov THE MANOR, situated in Albemarle Park, in the Northern edge of the City, is a unique and comfortable Inn catering to the best class of tourists who are in search of a comfortable and attractive place for a long or short stay. Golf links within five hundred yards. The Manor is open the year round. Albemarle parti Company Asbrtillr, O. €.THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER BENT BUSH Military Jk Equipments Sole Makers of the WEST POINT PIN 15 School Street 3k Boston A Useful Novelty Vest Pocket Set Keuffel Esser Co. Drawing Materials. Surveying Instruments. Measuring Tapes is; FULTON STREET. NEW YORK BRANCHES in MnUu n Mirrl. ChiuiiO l.o us| Street. SI. I ..nil |r| SloMi;«iiirr ' Street. Sin l-rancWto No. I|« . Sewed leather pouch, about 2 1-2 x 7 in., with flap and button catch, containing: Paragon Instruments (the best made) Compasses 6 in., with Ester's Patent Pivot Joint. Fixed Needle Point. Pen, Pencil Point and Lengthen ing Mar (No.610) Paragon Killing Pen, 5 in., Upper Blade with Spring, Ebony Handle (No. 523) Paragon Scale, flat (boxwood, white edges) 6 in, four edges beveled and divided 10. 40. to and to parts to the inch. Set. $12.00. The pouch also contains compartments for a pencil and a fountain pen, easily accessible without open ing the tiap. All goods warranted. Complete Catalogue (500 pp.) sent on application. Highest Award, Grand Prize, St. Louis, 1904. d!P. SI- Stfnmtit gtomp’jj ARMY AND NAVY TAILORS AND OUTFITTERS ANNAPOLIS if MARYLANDTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 23 ESTABLISHED 1885 HENRY K. COALE MANUFACTURER OF Officers’ ittess Cbests anti Camp equipment Folding Camp Chairs, 'Fables, Beds, Buckets, Basins, Etc. New 1905 illustrated circular mailed on request. Special terms to graduating officers ordered on Philippine service 136 Washington Street :: 57 GOOD THINGS FOR THE TABLE Used and recommended by the United States Army and Navy Tomato Ketchup Chili Sauce Baked Beans with Tomato Sauce India Relish Fruit Preserves Apple Butter Mince Meat CHICAGO, ILL. TC’PpTT p V Elcvating-Convcying-PowcrJ J Li 1 I L X Tranamitting-Drilling- Minin MACHINERY THE JEFFREY MANUFACTURING CO. COLUMBUS. OHIO. U. S. A. Catalogue on request New York Pituburg Chicago Denver2 4 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER ARMSTRONG Standard Military Uniforms Wc believe to be the most perfect and elegant in style, finish, etc., made in this country. C,They have the true military cut, set, shape and workmanship. They arc made in our own shops by experienced military tailors. We make no civil work. Armstrong Caps, celebrated lor lightness and (piality Armstrong IjoulDcr Straps, abrejs T3cltss anD ail equipment We expect to have a full line of ARMSTRONG UNIFORMS and EQUIPMENTS on exhibition at the U. S. Military Academy in March of each year, and hope sincerely that the members of the graduating classes will investigate our goods STUDIOS: New York City, West Point, N. Y., Princeton, N. J., Ocean Grove and Asbury Park, N. J. Finishing Dept., 1296 Third Avenue, New York City 13. iWrifWanus Successor to Pitch Bros. Photographer at U. S. Military Academy, Princeton University, Princeton Theological Seminary, New Jersey State Normal School J CJHE PORTRAITS, GROUPS AND A NUMBER OF SCENES IN THE HOWITZER ARE FROM PHOTOGRAPHS BY B. F. McMANUSTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 25 American and European Plans The Murray Hill Hotel Park Avenue, 40th and 4 1 st Sts: NKW YORK Onk Block from Grand Central Station Baggage transferred from and to the Grand Central Station b'rec of Chat 'gt 26 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER U.S.Army Field Glasses POWER. 6 OR 9 DIAMETERS An exceptionally large field of view, well and uniformly illuminated, and a flat image sharply defined. Extra strong construction, which secures rigidity under rough usage. jiuizard J'rorcs, Part's POWER 4 DIAMETERS Very clear definition. Small and convenient form. Best low-power glass made. Covered with Tan Leather in Tan Leather Case. onct Special S ass DAY NIGHT-TWO POWERS Changing automatically from 31 to 5A Magnifying power. Large Eye - Pieces. Covered with Tan Leather in Tan Leather Case with Strap. THESE 3 GLASSES ENDORSED BY CHIEF SIGNAL OFFICER U. S. A. The Glasses described above supplied to Army Officers at Special Prices by the Importers SUSSFELD, LOBSCH S CO.” 52" New YorkTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 27 SHOES FOR OCCASIONS Dress, Semi-Dress, Business,Street, Traveling, Outing. )ur shoe for young men is ;i shoe for all occasir ns. Made in all styles, with the New York finish, a standard of excellence to meet the taste of the well-dressed men. In French Calf, Russia Calf, Imported Patent Leather, Fine Black Kid and Box Calf; in Button, Lace and Oxfords. Special Regulation Boots, Shoes and Leggings for Army Officers Made of the host materials and complying with full Government Regulations. A separate and complete department devoted exclusively to army trade Regulation Service Shoes in Tan with or without tips at $3.00, $3.50 and $5.00 Regulation English Pig Skin Puttee Leggings, $6.50 Regulation Black Calf Riding Boots, Sq.oo ALFRED J. CAMMEYER SIXTH AVENUE, Cor. 20th Street, NliH' VO UK 2Tf)e Bffilantorft 2.1 inform Co. CAPS Sv CLOTHING EQUIPMENTS Diglirst stanOarD tu cl. £. Hrnip anti U. p.iop oorr irtp hoc Pears H) AS’ ) 21 WEST THIRTr-FIRST STREET Qppoutr Army ,mJ S’avy CM S'EH TORE28 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER R. D. CRANE CO. E S Ebbitt House Q u 1 G N I H. C. BURCH, Manager P Caps A Embroidery Knots | R M Mrs M Insignia P Sabers N A M K R 1 C A N V L A N Army and Navy Head(|uarter$ T T 3± S W AS H I N GTO N , I). C. 13 West 27th Street : NEW YORK CITY John Middle ton Imporfer s Mounle 219 Walnut St. Pmila- CH) PIPES BOWLS MADE IN FRANCE Pipes Repaired Write us for anything in the SMOKER’S LINE Cleanliness of person infers clean teeth of course. That’s why well-groomed people use Sozodont “Good for B.id Teeth Not Bad for Good Teeth" HALL RUCKEL NEW YORKTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 29 JAMES McCUTCHEON CO. “ THE LINEN STORE” SPECIALISTS IN FINE TABLE LINENS BED I INENS, TOWELS, HANDKERCHIEFS, ETC. if H'est 2 ] i SV., New York City VOICE CULTURE U. S. M. A. CONSERVATORY OF MUSIC In charge of experienced artists RISING INFLECTION a specially OPKN DAY OR NIGHT, RAIN OR SHINK, HOT OR COLD TESTIMONIAL Dear Captain:- When I first starred taking your wonderful course of lessons, 1 had a very weak voice; after completing the course 1 hadn’t any voice at all. — “Mother” Eddy30 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER Canadian Club Whiskey Disti • tin,I li'ittied Is HIRAM WALKER SONS l.iHlitCii WALK I- RVII.I.I., CANADA tAn,tor. AV ;t fork Chi-tij'o Mtxito City fitter i.t, It.THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 3i Charlottesville Woolen Mills CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA. 1'iviirjfil Gold Medal jot Exhibit tit l.oiiisitinn Lurrhnsf Exposition, St. Louts Superior Uniform Cloths for Military Colleges Dark and Sky Blue and Cadet (Jrav, Kerseys, Meltons, Doeskins Letter Carrier, Street Car, Railroad, Police, Military and Society EQUIPMENT •v M We are the sole manufacturers of the (I ray t'loth used by the Cadets of the United States Military Academy at West Point. Indigo Dyes, Pure Wool, t ree of all adulteration and absolutely guaranteed as to Wear and Color. CM ilitary Schools preferring our goods are requested to have it stipulated in contract for uniforms that they shall be used.32 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER EASTER LILY! if you remember the brand and ask for it, you will a ways get the best CANNED GOODS. EASTER LID' is the brand cThf do6t Crcbangr rorr srlle Caster Ltlv I3rann HILTON HOWARD Newburgh, N. ). Fresh Fruits DOMESTIC FRUITS SUPPLIED DIRECT FROM THE VINES flrctrb tratubcrriro Uaopbrrnro. Curranto, jjiumo Cbfrrtre. )3racbre. |3raro 0raprfl anb applets of tbf •Bust Uariftiro eupphrb to I)otflB, Clubo anb f amiliro at Braeonablr |3ricro JAMES A. STAPLES Consulting Horticulturist :: Purveyor to Cadet Mess TREE" Jfc VINES Fl.'RNISH HI) ON APPLICATIt)N P. O. Box 65, MARLBOROUGH, N. Y. First in Purity and Healthfulness Your physician will tell you ot the superior medicinal qualities; of an ab«» liitelv pure fermented gra|»c wine. Great Western Champagne The Standard of American Wine is llic choice ol discriminating enn Mirncrs the country over. Sk ’ Of the tx sinter i;an Champagnei exhibited nt tbf Paris Exposition of t fiSOy tbr GREsfl U ESiERS •:luu the onlx o :r tbiit reetivtA a GOLD MED.d ..'' PLEASANT VALLEY WINE COMPANY Sole Makers KIIEIMS. N. Y. i-At i r AViptitabU tl in. II..iii 1 •'tVIJIrA 'v.THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 33 P R A C T I C A I. ! T A C T I C A L ! Detective Agency Criminals run to earth and mysteries unravelled ! We have on our force such notorious sleuths as Hans d’Allemagne M. Methuse Le Marechal L’Knfant Stuart Sxviche M. Bien-Noit And in nines past such names as the following have added to our fame: Joseph de la Pous- sierc, Jacque du Vent, I Oiseau, Jean Noir, le Diahle Cfive us a trial. We always land our game ! Shadowing a specialty. Reference — A kin book ■« - « A A mj l fx Eleanc Control Stiirc ilight Pr«ifftr,ri with font roller. Q i)t Omcral Clcctnc Coiupanv manufactures Searchlight Projector Generating Sets and all other Electrical Apparatus designed to meet the requirements of the military science. principal oMficrs, fechrnrctao fi. p. m’ ) ork Offices . . Brand Stu rt Salt's Offices m all Largi ('.ititsTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 35 J. M. DELANEY CO. Manufacturers and Wholesale Dealers of Leather and Cut Soles When you want sole leather for half-soles or heels, send to us. We can furnish you with whatever substance, quality or size you may require. °ur inquiry for samples or quotations will receive prompt attention. 304 HUDSON STREET NEW YORK Canncti ffUats Successfully used in GARRISON FIELD and TRAVEL RATIONS ARMOUR and COMPANY Jk Chicago.36 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER California Powder Works SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. BLACK AND SMOKELESS SPORTING POWDERS YI DISTRIBUTE kill. I POWDER FOR AEE CA El HR E RIFI.ES Try our MARKSMAN SMOKELESS For use with Lead Bullets in the KRA(J and other high powder .30-.40 rifles. Ranges 200 to 600 yards. CADET LAUNDRY Outfit furnished by £roy Caundry fHachincry £0., OUR LINE IS THE LARGEST, BEST AND MOST COMPLETE. WRITE US FOR CATALOGUE ANO LAUNDRY GUIDE. troy Chicago new York San TrancisccTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 37 “ M W I) E N I I) S O A' " The Famous Van Deusen Sausage Van Deusen mild cured Columbia County pic; hams and bacon --------1 ielp to make= = “ rhe Man Behind The Ciun" Van Deuseit Sausage and Bacon used at the U. S. M. A. more than ten years. If your dealer will not supply you, write for price list of Van l) usett products delivered hy express, at your residence, charges prepaid. C. A. VAN DFUSFN COMPANY Hudson, Columbia County, New York, U. S. A. KkT Mll.lMIIKIl |HI 7 JnCOMI'OIIATKI 1904 The Standard A arnica a Brand ATLAS PORTLAND CEMENT ALWAYS UNIFORM The C. H. Roster Co. Originators of Refined, Appropriate ami I lahorate Decorations and Illuminations for Celebrations Entertainments S I-! N I Fill: I’A l! HI.KT FLAGS, BANNERS, RIBBON BADGES AND FIREWORKS DISPLAYS Mnnulnrturrd l»j I he Atlas Portland Cement Co. $o Broad Street :: Nf.w York. N. V’. Tch'ldioiir 4S27 Cortimnlt 'dice, 5 Park Place New York38 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER R U M FO R D The Wholesome Baking Powder The only baking powder made with the genuine Professor Horsford's phosphate. It leaves in the food strength-giving phosphates absolutely necessary to good health. Superior to all others in Baking Quality. UoWrr’s' tj nnn JTooI trds CTHESE STEELS ARE USED BY A LARGE NUMBER OF THE LARGEST AND MOST CONSERVATIVE CONCERNS IN THIS COUNTRY AND EUROPE. WE RECOMMEND THEM TO ALL USERS OF STEEL WHO WISH TO GET THE BEST RESULTS WITH THEIR TOOLS First Quality, Extra fatality, Special Eery Hard “Boreas" Self-Hardening, “Rapid" High Speed FA UN LEY BEST YORKSHIRE IRON Awarded the Grand P t.e at St. Louit HOUGHTON RICHARDS, s olf 9grnt0 BOSTON CLEF ELAND CHICAGOTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER The Man who Cares !:r Buys the “A. 'J. Co." Our reputation a» maker. of thr hot is on v«-ar: of experience as actual manu- faemrer?. . . . Atlilflic things mutt hr well made to wear well . . . ‘A. J. A; Co. on it meant it it well made . . . Order through the Cadet Su r - . . . Catalog - -nt free kind ARTHUR JOHNSON CO55 IV. 42nd iSV., New York DREKA Fine Stationery and Engraving House 1121 CHESTNUT STREET. PHILADELPHIA COLLEGE INVITATIONS DANCE PROGRAMS BOOK PLATES VISITING CARDS RECEPTION AND WEDDING INVITATIONS HfcRAlDRY AND GENFALCX'iY ( OATS OF ARMS PAINTED FOR FRAMING THE MEMORIAL VOLUMES Commemorating the Centennial of the UNITED STATES MILITARY ACADEMY 1S02-1902 Prepared under the direction of a committee « l the Xcademic Board, and edited hv I)r. Edward S. IIoi dkn, Librarian of the L". S. Military Academy, in two volumes, giving the history of the Academy in every phase, and of its graduates in every sphere of life. n o r e a n r r o r i s s u e Will be distributed by Senators and Representatives, and by the Superintendent to distinguished visitors; each graduate up to June, IQ02, will receive a copy.40 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER BETHLEHEM STEEL COMPANY Manufacturerso GUNS, GUN CARRIAGES GUN FORGINGS, PROJECTILES AND ARMOR PLATE I he Works of this Company art- thoroughly equipped for the manufacture of guns, from one pounder to iX-inches caliber, made of the highest grades of simple or nickel steel. Also gun carriages of various types. d,“ Bethlehem high-power guns, and carriages are installed in all the principal fortifications of this Country, as well as upon Cnited States warships. SO UTH B ET H I - K H K M 3 P i N NSY L V A NI A =■ B R A X C H OFTI C F. S------------------------ i AVer Y-.O City. Pennsylvania flu tiding, tytb A Chestnut Streets, Philadelphia, Pa. lilt keystu’r flail,ling, Pittsburg, Pa.THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER RENDLE’S “PARADIGM — DUXBAC” ENTILAT.N.5KYLIGHTS (LIGHT, AIR AND HEALTH) • I have recently patented a ventilating skylight which I have named the “Paradigm-Duxhac.” It is constructed just like my famous Paradigm Skylight, steel channel skylight bars, sheet metal caps, etc., hut in the channel bar sides I have {-inch ventilating holts every three inches apart, and the same in the top ol the caps. 9 It sheds water like a duck’s hack and ventilates at the same time. I lie holts in the channel sides can be placed as close together as required, according to tin amount of ventilation needed. • I hese ventilating holes are said to prevent condensation forming on the inner side of the glass. • illustrated Cain logit es, Models, etc., on application to ARTHUR E. RENDLE 428 Eleventh Avenue NEW YORK Steam - Water - Air We tolve many of the intricate problems which perplex. Wc also eliminate waste, saving fuel ami wear ami tear. Mason Reducing Valves will positively and permanently reduce and maintain an even pressure of steam air,or water, regardless of changes in the initial pressure. 'I’he simple turning of a key givr$ any pressure desired. Write Us for Information stating your needs —we will 6cnd our catalogue of many trouble-saving and money-saving appliances, and answer tpirrics personally. For mlt all oirr the world. Mason Regulator Co. HOSTON, MASS.. U. S. A. Commissary Sergeants Do Ton Use THEPURE Baking Powder? A high-grade cream tartar Powder at a low price. Used in the Army for over twelve years. ,t .t k •; . k qv I s r 10 x f o i: I r Thkpurk Baking Powpkr Co. ALBANY, N. Y. Note—We will gladly send sample on request42 THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER Suud in the Cadet Mess every morning, also. Tell the folks at home about tbt WORLD’S BEST BREAKFAST FOOD mack MANUFACTURING CO. MAKERS OF America's Standard Vitrified Brick and Block for STREET PA TING Annual Capacity, 100.000.000 General Office: Land Title Building. PH 11 ADF.LPHIA, PA. llorks: MAN CUMBERLAND, W. VA.THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 43 This Trade Mark on Any Article Athletic gixts the implement its true value .is t«» (Quality ami Official Endorsement. A. (I. Spai.dinc I!kos. were awarded the highest honors at the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in competition with the world’s makers, receiving a Sprrtal lo 4 Grand f » -■ ) consisting of a Gold Medal, lor the best, most complete and most attractive installation of Gymnastic Apparatus and Athletic Supplies shown at the World's Fair ami also a (fyianb IJrijc for their exhibit of all kinds of Athletic Implements, Gymnastic Apparatus, and Wearing Apparel. In the Olympic Games, which extended over a period from Mav to November, np4. even article used in the Stadium in connection with the games bore the Official Stamp of . (I. SPALDING BROS. • This latest recognition of Superiority and Quality, following so closely on the Paris Imposition, win re they were awarded the Grand Prize, establishes without doubt the position of this firm in the manufacturing and retailing of athletic goods as world's leaders, ami places the implements for sport that bear the Spalding Trade Mark hevond competition with all others. At the Pan-American Exposition, Buffalo, tqoi, every article used in connection with the world's championship games bore the Trade Mark of A. G. SPALDING N BROTHERS Nrw York Philadelphia HiitTMo Ho»ton Minneapolis Syracuse Chicago San Francixa Denver Baltimore New Orleans Montreal, Can. St. Loui» Kansu City Washington Pittsburgh Cincinnati Ixrndon, ling. Send for a copy of SPALDING'S ATHLETIC GOODS CATALOGUE. It's Free.44________________THE HOWITZER ADVERTISER The Service Granted the Best in Life Insurance No Extra Premiums No Dividend Discriminations No Special Classification Everything Guaranteed, Nothing Estimated Address A. C. WASHBURNE METROPOLITAN LIFE INS. CO. NEW YORK, N. Y. ARMY and NAVY JOURNAL m 101 NASSAl STKKKT (Cor. Fulton) NIAV YORK )‘STAIII.ISHKI) l8f $ Tiik representative of the Military and Naval Services of the I'nited States. Contains complete and accurate information regarding all matters ot interest to the Services. "AS NKCKSSAKY TO AN OFFICER AS HIS I XIFORM" Club Rate Subscription Price to Cadets U. S. M. A. and their Relatives $3.00 per yearTHE HOWITZER ADVERTISER 45 The F. A. Bassefte Company SPRINGFIELD: MASSACHUSETTS Producers of the Choicest Grade Illustrated Books Catalogs CCAREFUL attention to arrangement and to skillful execution our specialty QUALITY higher this year than last. All done in our own establishments designing, illustrating plate-making, print ing, binding •« 'Ar m4 ii » ” THE ILLUSTRATIONS IN THIS BOOK WERE MADE BY US


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