University of California Los Angeles - Bruin Life / Southern Campus Yearbook (Los Angeles, CA)

 - Class of 1974

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University of California Los Angeles - Bruin Life / Southern Campus Yearbook (Los Angeles, CA) online yearbook collection, 1974 Edition, Cover
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Text from Pages 1 - 259 of the 1974 volume:

The Garden of Academic Delights Southern Campus UCLA 1974 Southern Campus, this year, follows a parody format. Each section has its own style, wit and charm. Some formats are near-replicas. Others contain touches of our own. How this approach was decided upon deserves a note of explanation. Yearbooks are fast becoming extinct. Few buy them. Even fewer bother with them . For you see, the University is a factory. The sterile thud of Moder Times has wormed its way into academia ' s boudoir. One knows not what to expect — except perhaps more thuds. This book, then, is an attempt to free people ' s minds from the institution of commonknowledgery from the mentality that cares not for the differences between pointillism and paint-by-number. We hope to burst the dreary, average yearbook vacuum, to make the yearbook a medium of creative, accessible expression. We hope to take it off the " endangered species " list. The cover, a parody of Hieronymus Bosch ' s " The Garden of Worldly Delights, " is our first step in this new direction. Bosch ' s infinitesimally specific way of depicting ideas is particularly apropos for our purposes. Bosch created complicated and puzzling configurations by fusing ideas taken from far-flung contexts and molding them into one " single visible symbol. " Our effort, if not our technique, sought to achieve the same ends. We created a list of university-related topics. Everything from hard-hat diving to cheerleaders was included. Writers were assigned formats and then chose at random five topics from the list. The work you hold now is, then, the coalescence of many different photographers ' , writers ' and artists ' work into a " single visible symbol " of the university. We hope it makes you think. We hope you enjoy it. —E.R. The UCLA Game 4 Playboor 15 Bible Tales for Bruins 28 TV Guise 39 Uneasy in the Sheets (screenplay) 47 Sports Isolated 55 Daily Bruin 66 The Dugout Restaurant (menu) 78 After Life Magazine 83 Dust, a short story 97 An Uklanik Red Is Better Off Fed 107 Millhouse High (yearbook) 117 Realites (photo collection) 129 UCLA on $5 a Day 145 How to Go to the Rose Bowl (flow chart) 158 Seers Catalog 171 Up and Down at UCLA (LP) 180 Jonathan Livingston Bruin 193 Comix 201 Beached Whales and Basketball (play) 210 Graduates 223 FRATERNITIES AND SORORITIES Alpha Phi (66-67), Alpha Gamma Delta (46), Alpha Gamma Omega (128), Alpha Delta Pi (94-95), Alpha Epsilon Pi (147), Alpha Epsilon Phi (62-63), Alpha Xi Delta (116), Alpha Tau Omega (78), Alpha Chi Omega (166-167), Gamma Phi Beta (100-101), Delta Gamma (196), Delta Zeta (178), Delta Delta Delta (162-163), Zeta Beta Tau (8-9), Theta Xi (174-175), Kappa Delta (26-27), Kappa Alpha Theta (34-35), Kappa Kappa Gamma (192), Lambda Chi Alpha (197), Pi Beta Phi (214-215), Sigma Nu (126-127), Sigma Chi (42-43), Sigma Alpha Epsilon (184-185), Sigma Delta Tau (206-207), Phi Kappa Sigma (20-21), Phi Kappa Psi (216), Chi Omega (146). ORGANIZATIONS AND GROUPS Army ROTC (76-77), Alpha Lambda Delta (70), Blue Key (65), Bruin Belles (50-51), Panhellenic Council (85), Phrateres (69), Undergraduate Student Government (83-84; 86-93) The Garden of Academic Delights Southern Campus UCLA 1974 ASUCLA Communications Board The UCLA Game by Karen Stacie Zimmerman A Quest for Social Consciousness, Prestige and Social Esteem Social awareness is the object of the UCLA Game. Using your knowledge of people, sixties-type protests, and other forms of right-on campus liberalism, you try to gain prestige and social awareness points and avoid apathy and geek points. TO BEGIN: Each player pays $208.50 and begins their search for campus liberalism. Advance to computer for enrollment in classes. At the end of one week of classes players are ready to make their opening move. While searching for a cause, you are stopped by the jangling bells, pounding drums and the dirty feet of the Hare Krishnas. Accept free incense and receive 5 social awareness points. You also buy two $11.95 glossy, full color books on the secrets and mysteries of Krishna and gain 10 geek points. But, win back 20 super prestige points when you sell them to a passing Jesus-freak for one used Gideon Bible. You take the Gideon Bible and advance to the UCLA Thrift Store and convince them that it ' s a required anthropology text and new. Gain two prestige points and give five of your geek points to the clerk in the thrift store. While you are there, spend $80 on a radically well-used wardrobe tattered jeans and stained combat jacket. Gain prestige points for the right-on wardrobe and gain ten geek points for spending the $80. While leaving the store, give twenty-five cents to the wino who originally owned the clothes. Gain ten social awareness points. Bottom Row — 1st level (LTR) Jerry Saliman, Mark Berman, Mike Lyons, Greg Hirsch, Irv Chase (Pres.) Bob Schuit, Robert Decker, Momo Mintzer, Larry Horrman 2nd Row — 1st level Louis Freeman, Dennis Copelan, Mark Emarin, Steve Axelrocle, Tad Shapiro, Chris Harvey, Ken Berg, Ron Glousman (Below him is Don Browing and Howard Horwitz), Mike Ravel, Rich Rossman, Howard Brand, Alan Feldstien, David Gould, Terry Katz, Bob Kopel, Bob Kruger. On roof behind everyone else is Joel Saltzman. ZBT Advance to ZBT rumored to be a training ground for campus liberals. At ZBT, you crack a Jewish joke and gain ten geek points for ethnic ignorance. 3rd rwo (starring with guy hanging on gutter) Bill Bernfeld, Al Trump, Mike Rossini, Marr Kater, Al Trock (on ladder) Stuart Silverstein, Harvey Abrams, Paul Lavin, Roof to fire escape Lee Lipsker, Rick Lesch, Dave Karp, Jeff Ducommon, Rich Gerhardt, Todd Lavin Fred Schenk, Mark Itkin, Mark Onspaugh, Dave Noskin, Mark Yokomizo, Doug Krauss, Joel Schiffman, Mary Loo Hill (House manager), Bob Curtis, Randy Firestone On right roof Larry Ceder Steve Smith, Steve Eisner with legs spread — Chris Walker You learn that ZBT was originally established as a Jewish fraternity and retains a tradition of respect for its cultural heritage. Advance to Chicano Studies Center and Library. If research your Chicano history paper there, gain ten social awareness points. While there, you are by a large student with vacant eyes and a scar on his forehead who asks you to sign a petition in favor of the violence center. If you sign, earn 30 geek points with a bonus of ten apathy points. If your paper is socially inspiring, gain ten points. Find crying lost children on campus. Take them to the Child Care Day activities instead of Lost and Found. Gain 10 social awareness points. Advance to Ha ' am office. If you are selected for the staff, you gain 5 social awareness points. If you turn them down, gain five apathy points. Accepting the offer, your feature article on the UCLA Jewish Studies Program wins you two inches of space in a Daily Bruin editorial and ten prestige points. The editor of Ha ' am takes you out to lunch. You order a ham and cheese sandwich. He gets upset; your rye excuse seems cheesey and Neil Reisner is no ham. You are dropped from the staff, and gain 15 geek points. Advance to the office of La Gente. If you can ' t find the office and become discouraged, you lose one turn and gain 10 apathy points. If you locate the office in Kinsey Hall within two days, you gain 5 prestige points. La Gente needs a copyreader. Accept the job and gain 15 social awareness points. La Gente staffer finds wine and dope in your desk. The wine is Gallo and you are OUT. Gain five geek points for the wine, but get 10 prestige points for the dope. Your are well on your way to liberalism. STOP!!! Add up your social awareness points, subtract the total number of geek points and obtain your total Standard Liberal Average. Compare your score with the chart below to see what kind of liberal you are. 10-20 " Joe Bruin " — you sign all the petitions on campus, irregardless; the Daily Bruin is your Bible and main source of world news; you commute five days a week, are an active member of your sorority or fraternity; you support Swami X and some of your best friends are black. 21-50 " Julie ' Bruin Belle ' — you are involved in all non-political, non-controversial campus activities and programs. You faithfully give blood, time, energy and many hours to a Mardi Gras booth to preserve the status quo. You delight at being called a " stud " or a " fox " , missed all your classes for a week in hopes of seeing someone streak so you could write home about it and bought a yearbook. 51-75 " Chuck ' pseudo-liberal ' Young " — you wear coor dinated jeans ' n ' shirts that make you look ' cool ' but not materialistic or vain; you lament the decline of campus activism and you march in all the right rallies. You (rightly) think Swami X is disgusting. You have a " Don ' t blame me . . . " sticker and some of your best friends are gay. 76-100 You could only be Suz Rosen . . . GLEWER ' S PROFILES (pronounced gloo-er ' s " Brown Label " ) JOSE BRUIN HOME: Deadwood, Xa. AGE: £3 HOBBIES: Singing, Dancing, Clapping, Tail-Wagging LAST BOOK READ: " Winnie the Pooh " LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Tap danced Tommy Trojan ' s groin. QUOTE: When I was just a cub I dreamt about being the UCLA mascot, but now I only do it for the honey. PROFILE: Altruistic SCOTCH: Glewer ' s " Brown Label " Authentic Glewer ' s Brown Label is the same sulphur-smelling concoction that simpleminded folk have overpaid for for four generations. Pour some in a glass, notice how little it exhibits the properties of a liquid as it cracks into cone-shaped bits of brown. Just imagine those racing down your colon and into the blood stream. Tiny time pills . . . BAMBERGER SCANLON SCHNEIDERMAN MORRIS CHISOM WETZEL CAHILL WILCOX BENJAMIN ATKINSON PLAYBILL Welcome to Playboorland! Here you will be truly comfortable. Nothing in Playboor will agitate your imagination, prick your conscience or cause your brawny brows to knit in wonderment. Relax, you have finally stumbled through the looking glass of the publishing world ' s Nirvana for nitwits, the ultimate in lowbrow ' thought, ' Playboor! Since space is an important problem for us we must depart from the format appropriate to this page and change the subject. Namely we must leave this chatty, good-naturedly introspective outpouring and turn our attention to those Westwood moguls of the publishing world: the Communications Board. Comm Board is composed of eleven hearty souls sometimes dedicated to the notion of freedom of the press. During the past school year they considered and put aside proposals to junk Together and Ha ' Am. They were more successful in 86ing the anemic, literary magazine The Comm Board chairperson, Robert Bamberger, is a senior in history. He characterized his chairpersonship as making a " sincere attempt to be sensitive to the needs of the campus. " According to Bamberger the most important task ahead is to make Comm Board and its publications financially independent so that the student press will be free of outside pressures. Playboor requested that the members of Comm Board submit biographical material. Only six did. Apparently the rigors of office were too severe for the others. Robert Bamberger: I was born and razed (sic) in Ohio, came West to find my fortune. Have become a slow-moving left-liberal, milquetoast socialist with a capitalist after-taste. That isn ' t the Am a fervent believer in knowledge and awareness though both may drive us crazy, but letting the culture do it alone is not the answer. " Has it ever occured to you that death may be simpler than life and infinitely more kind? " That isn ' t the answer either. (Editor ' s note: Obviously we let these people write their own stuff, read on for more prose.) Bill Scanlon, vice-chairperson: I was born in Milwaukee and have lived in Europe and all over the country; but heaven to me is the Irish Valley, along Richland County Trunk 1, just outside Cazenovia, Wisconsin. Since second grade I was set on winning a Nobel Prize in Chemistry. My friends and teachers, Owen Fennema at the University of Wisconsin where I was an undergraduate, and David Eisenberg at UCLA, almost got me to go on. But always lingering in the back of my psyche has been a political bent. Part of this is a reverence for the press, which led me, after three years of graduate study in biophysical chemistry, to membership on the Communications Board in October, 1972. Now I ' ve gone so far astray from my youthful dreams that, rather than a Nobel Prize, I am set on an appointment to the Supreme Court by one of my good friends Leon Kos, Richard Nuanes or Robert Bamberger, or my wife, Eileen McGlynn, curator of the Irish Valley. Carole Ann Schneiderman, representative: Has been a Comm Board member for the past two years. She is a member of the Bruin Belles and has served as their public relations and social chairperson. She is also a member of Alpha Epsilon Phi sorority, the Academic Senate and the Mortar Board honor society. Carole is a senior in Theater Arts Communications. Harry E. Morris, Publications Manager: Adviser to all student media since 1944. Mr. Morris retires this summer after almost fifty years as a UCLA student and Associated Students employe. Edited UCLA athletic programs for twenty-five years. Henry Elbert Chisom, graduate representative: I was born in Los Angeles in 1946. While a student at Manual Arts High School I decided that I was going to be a professor of history. I have attended several universities on the east and west coast in pursuit of that goal. I want to say to all men that dreams are the property of men, and we all have the right to dream. Tom Wetzel, graduate representative: A native Angelino (I attended Hollywood High and LACC before coming to UCLA in 1966), I got my BA in philosophy at UCLA in 1969. Since then I have been plodding through the doctoral program in philosophy and am in the process of writing a dissertation entitled " Non- existent Objects. " Although there are many things in which I am interested I would especially mention ontology, socialism and skoptophilia. ABOUT THE AUTHOR. Steven L. Silver is the brilliant young writer that no one is talking about. he is a rather dull senior specializing in ancient Mesopotamian history, of all things. In his junior year he was quite closely associated with Ha ' Am and regularly contributed humorous stories and feature articles. Playboor looks at campus architecture stairways gargoyles other masonry delights Many artists and artisans have lavished their multifarious talents upon UCLA. Over the years the architecture has swung from " academic to " concrete humdrum. " In this wide range of styles and motifs there is much that is worthy of the Playboor reader ' s delicate consideration. In as much as the buildings and their reflect the needs, aspirations and preoccupations of those that have designed them and now influence those that use them, Playboor offers a small selection of the masonry delights to be found lurking in the area. What kind of man reads Playboor? (from right to left, bottom to top) Cort Haymone, Thierry Colaw, Barry Berkett, Ray Paul, Alan Cherrigan, Steve Regele, Rick Bachman, Keith Young, Kevin Prys, Brian Cronin, Art Kuehn, Fulton Kuykendall, Jerel Rosati, Kevin Young, Jim Mitchell, Tony Bay, Phil Ellis, Eric Carlson, Steve Portner, Gary Grieger, Bob Mancini, Alan Greenberg, Bill Baggott, Tom Meyer, Al Foley, Terry McGuire, Kurt Kohler, Rich Harris, Mike Gallagher, John Livie, Tom Thomas, Jon Middleton, Ed Railey, Mark Scofield, Jim Conner, Jon Yip, Will Shatford, Dave Dapper, Dieter Rapp, Reed Peterson, Jim Lapinsky, John Gerad, Bob Watkins, Craig Pettengill, Don Wooley, Gil Martinez, Alex Frasco. A Phi Kappo Sigma man. Vapid Transit Every weekday morning I get washed, dressed, scrounge about for something similar to breakfast, and bounce out of the apartment to stand on the street corner. In two minutes a kindly old fashioned gentleman stops and asks me to get into his expensive late-model vehicle. The witty Playboor reader might put six and nine together and figure out that I ' m a professional Wrong. I ' m only an amateur degenerate; the rest of the time I ' m a loyal bus rider. I bought a parking pass one quarter and regretted it from the start. By the time I arrived at campus my nerves left me in no mood for the next phase finding a spot in a structure for which two passes had been sold for every available space. The whole process took five minutes longer and cost me at least double what I ' d pay on the bus. Moreover, riding alone in the car in no way approximates the cool adventure of bus travel. If one is lucky enough to live in an area served by the Santa Monica Bus Line 2 he is in for a treat. The exotic perfume of 40 bums and tramps making their way to the V.A. is a symphony of smell. Of course, the vast majority of us do get to school by automobile. Perhaps in the decades to come this will be a quaint memory of a faded and frivolous era. No matter, we seem to enjoy the car; all the while loudly complaining about the cost but refusing to consider alternatives to the sleek tin phallus. Some of the braver souls among us ride their motorcycles to school. These people are apparently undaunted by the imminent likelihood of their pliant bodies being forc ed to conform to a variety of unyielding surfaces. A decade ago the bravado of the biker made him more sexually attractive, ' a la the Wild One: Marlon Brando. Now he is more likely to be on a tight budget. The two-wheeled sex appeal of the chopper has been usurped by the once sissy-ish bicycle. Astute Playboor readers will no doubt be familiar with the homely sight of two neophyte cyclists stopped for a moment to consider each other ' s derallieur. Spokes, pedals and chaffing against a stupid pointed vinyl seat suddenly become the price one has to pay for ubiquitous love. Happily there are some side benefits to riding that bike up all those goddamn hills. Alpha Phi Omega, the service fraternity, helps approximately 2,000 people become car-poolers. This makes the automobile more economical and more interesting. The primary for a successful car pool is to have dependable people partic ipate. I have never been in a car pool. Thumbing is one way to get places, not necessarily those intended. Some people center their social life around the thumb, for others it is a last resort. The unpredictability of thumbing usually makes it a poor way to a destination on time. Some people have more luck than others in hitching a ride. It must have something to do with an honest face. I have never found thumbing convenient. The real drawback to being a is not the difficulty in getting to campus but the absence of campus community feeling for the commuter. When we live further than a short walk or bike ride from the campus it becomes a shlep to return in the evening for that movie, recital or seminar. However, as rents rise in the Westwood area more and more students are forced to live further away from the center of their academic and cultural life. 23 Masticatory Fantasies All of us eat, one way or another, whether it be in resplendent luxury in the Treehouse, under a bush with the squirrels or extemporaneously with a friend. Playboor takes a look at some of the more boorishly popular outlets for the satisfaction of that uncontrollable urge to bite, slurp, grind and swallow. Happily UCLA is well supplied with a plethora of the drearily quaint, in the way of gastronomic filling stations. The Playboor student characteristically endures all hardships, never protesting the assaults upon his dignity, or palate. Indeed, he waits in long lines for the privilege. Kappa Delta Picture at left: (back row, left to right) Laurie Janet Krouss, Mary Ann Langford, Ann Schaurman; (middle row, left to right) Gloria Layfield, Mimi Scofield, Linda Ricksen, Cindy Bonner, Darlene Gossick; (bottom row, left to right) Nancy Meyers, Diane Tuck, Valerie Zittrich, Carol Rattiner, Carla Hovsepian, Julie Palme r. Top of page: (left to right) Cindy Bonner, Laurie Sharp, Nancy Meyers, Diane Tuck. Immediately above: (left to right) Teri Stone, Carol Rattiner, Suzanne Ruatti, Nancy Tinsley, Linda Webb, Mary Beth Hildebrand, Gail Woodard. Bible Tales for Bruins How God Made The Campus In the beginning God created th e heaven and the earth. Now the earth was unformed and void, and darkness was on the face of the deep. And God said, " Let there be light. " And after a week or so of Creation, God saw what He had wrought, and He was bored. Especially with Adam, His man. Adam was in His own image enough, but he was uneducated. And so God created UCLA, that the sons and daughters of Adam and the sons and daughters of the sons and daughters of Adam, etc. might hav e a schoolingplace on the earth. And He didst make spires, towers, grand corridors, vast chambers, majestic columns, great grid facades, and a treehouse, all on that day. And it came to pass that Adam and the bone of his bone, Eve, didst drink of knowledge in the botanical garden, with the injunction that they turn their heads from the knowledge of Good and Evil. And they didst streak in innocence. It then came to pass that the Lord blessed this Paradise with the Music of angels, 55 in the wind ensemble, 200 in the marching band, 100 in the symphonic band. And these didst play celestial harmonies at commencement, noon concerts, athletic functions, evening concerts, and sundry Creations. The chief host of symphonies was Winslow, who was wont to serve unto all the children of Westwood, in time, the works of Stravinsky, younger experimental composers and arrangements for Wind. And the angels didst find great pleasure in performing these graces, and diversion therein. East of Westwood Now it came to pass that Adam and Eve were confronted in the botanical garden by the Serpent and his Traveling Medicine Shaw and Apple Revue. The Serpent didst sport a loud purple and orange print shirt, bifocals, and he spake in run-on sentences. He spake most plaintively of limited budget, irascible actors, tight schedules, whilst he assembled his mainstage at the feet of the innocent couple. And he didst tell them of the Evils of maintaining a goodly quality of theatrical production with great flux and emotionally-charged atmosphere and too narrow a Vision by the actor, the director and the writer. He spake wistfully of his desire to form a professional company in the garden that might bridge more substantially into the professional world Out There. He spake indeed of bringing into the garden the professionals themselves, at which the naked pair didst shudder and quake and didst see their nakedness. And they didst cover themselves with diplomas, for they knew shame that day. The Serpent assured them that the seasons of the earth wrought finely executed plays, e ' en of the garden ' s own playwrights, and that the playhouse and little stage did altogether rend a Divine balance of drama, comedy and musical unto the Publick. Hardly had he begun to bring in the sweet refrain of angels ' accompaniment to commence the Acts, when the L rd didst intercede. He expelled these children of Paradise forever unto a life of toil. No more monthly allowance from the Father shall they know, nor soft academic pursuit. And they were led East of Westwood, to dreary jobs in fruitless LA basin, wretched to the last of their days. The Deluge it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair, and they took them wives whomsoever they chose. And great civilization didst arise on the face of the earth. And in every city was found television and film, for man didst find solace from his toil therein. But the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually and rated X. And the Lord didst contrive a Deluge to blot out man whom He had created from the face of the earth. The Great Deluge of Information wouldst annihilate the corrupted mind of man. But God saw favor in Nu Iota and saw that he and his generations were righteous and wholehearted. And God said unto Nu Iota : " The end of all minds is come before Me; for the Media is filled with violence. Make thee an Ark. With viewing rooms shalt thou make the Ark, and shalt fit it within and without with antennae and movie projectors and TV monitors. And I will teach thee and thy tribe the Good and Just use of Media. I will teach thee history, aesthetics, and criticism thereof. And thou shalt create films and scribe for television as I assign thee. And thou shalt enjoy a covenant of labor with the professional community that thou might know the rites of commerce and public taste. And thou shalt have no pagan Hollywood gods before Me, but shalt rather be Original and Relevant. And thou shalt explore videospace and computer technology and rend them unto a unity favorable unto Me. " And the visual stimuli prevailed exceedingly upon the earth ; and all the screens that were under the whole heaven were covered. But Nu Iota and his sons, Beta, Gamma, Delta, etc. and his sons ' wives Theta, Omega, Chi, Kappa, etc. and all the sons and daughters thereof didst find grace in the eyes of the Lord and were saved. And after forty days of porno flicks, Let ' s Make a Deal reruns, Kung Fu and Black Cop budget items, summer replacements and Imperial Margarine commercials . . . Nu Iota didst send off unto the airwaves a cable television program, and it came back unto him with an Emmy. And after seven more days he didst send off an Artistically Executed Film, and it came back unto him with an Oscar. So Nu Iota knew that the Media Waste was abated from off the earth. And God blessed Nu Iota and his sons and some seventy daughters-in-law and said unto them : " Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth. " Kappa Alpha Theta Starting at the boat and working around: Patti Fitzpatrick, Sally Sexton, Sue Ditchey, Bobette Nelson, Susie Pearce, Becky Chandler, Carole Hall, Melinda Cramer, Betty Henderson, Robin Dearden, Allyson Knoth, Sue Pipal, Kathy Loss, Marcia Gravette, Janice Salisbury, Sherri Willson, Jone Motes, Kim Delaney, Christine Schendel, Susan Handy, Debbie Amos, Susan Laidlaw, Pam Clark, Devon Doan, Lori Walter, Suzanne Lind, Nan Ohlson, Janice Mooney, Cindy Stordahl, Debbie Samson, Patty Van de Kamp, Kim Willson, Vicki Vance, Ann Harmon, Cheryl Eriksen, Chris Cianciotto, Kathleen Flannery, Diane Duncan, Susan Wix, Melanie Knoth, Blair Power, Clary Pedersen, Susan Williams, Randy Hill, Judi Woodward, Doreen Gordon, Karen Kenny, Sally Cote. Be Fruitful and Multiply And it came to pass that they did just that. And after forty days there were children hither thither and yon, for the Lord truly worketh in wondrous ways. And the Lord didst gather these children unto the land of Fernald. There they might know a matching of the inner state of the children with the environment and so become self-directive, self-evaluative, co-operative individuals in the eyes of the Lord. In that experimental land of five different classroom situations and carefully controlled teaching laboratories, the children were blessed with learning contracts, negotiation power and the de-emphasis of teaching. It was a simple and gentle land, and self-motivation grew throughout. And the Lord didst observe the Behavior of these His children and was loth to seek modifications thereof. He didst ordain unto the children a Freedom in increased range of choices, not in License. And it came to pass that these children of the Lord didst grow old and they didst spread over the face of the campus and builded great departments of learning. Photos courtesy of Fernald School The Tower of Bruin And it came to pass that these children of the Lord didst spread over the face of the campus. And the whole campus was of one language and one speech. And the children of the Lord found a room in the land of Kerckhoff, and they dwelt there. And they said one to another: " Come let us contrive a Yearbook, and let us make us a name, lest we decline unto obscurity. " And the Lord came down to read the Yearbook which the children of men contrived. And the Lord said: " Behold, they are a unified, articulate student body; and this is what they begin to do; and now nothing will be withholden from them, which they purpose to do. Come let us go down, and there confound their language, that they might not understand one another ' s speech. " And so the patriarchs of departments understood one another no more, and jargon of every kind was rife on campus. And the Administration didst confound the Faculty and the Faculty didst confound the students and one another; and from thence didst the Lord scatter the Teachings upon the face of all the academic community. Therefore was it given the name, Tower of Bruin. Edmon Rodman, editor-in-chief Mark Rubin, photography editor Rick Becker, staff photographer Annie Pautler, graphics editor Marty November, chief photograher Southern Campus Barbara Banke (TV Guise), Steve Brower (The Daily Bruin), Shirley Hawkins (Dust), Debbi Jacobson (An Uklanik Red is Better Off Fed), Rod Johnstone (Uneasy in the Sheets), Hunter Kaplan (Sports Isolated), Rosemary Klopper (UCLA on Five Hundred Dollars A Day), Mike Lee (Comix), Oscar Miah (Bible Tales for Bruins), S. Layton Silver (Playboor), James Walsh (Up and Down at UCLA), John Woods (Beached Whales and Basketballs), Karen Zimmerman (The UCLA Game). Editorial Staff: Edmon J. Rodman, Mark Rubin, photography editor. Anne Pautler, graphics editor. Rick Becker, Carol Coy, Maureen Frankeny, Dennis Fried, Roger Hart, Stan Himes, Larry Hoki, Paul Iwanaga, Susie Kamb, Eric Mansker, Marty November, Mark Rubin, Glenn Seki, Debbie Sickinger, Sam Weiss. : Mike Lee, Martha Moran, Charles Solomon, George Teitlebaum. Others: Jane Boni, Peggy Da Silva, Jerome Greenberg, Bennet Peck, Lynn Kaufman (business manager). Acknowledgements: Art Atkinson, Byron Atkinson, Tim Bayley, Doug Drew, Don Findley, Ruth Ann Hartmann, Mary Jane Krebs, Harry Morris, Campus Studio, Charles Young. UCLA TV GUISE Where are They Now? A nostalgic glance at UCLA Alumni Passed Bruin, H.R. Haldeman Rebounds at Pauley. At right, Steve Ainsworth, Daily Bruin editor-in-chief. Below, John Fleischman and Nina Pinsky, Communications Board technical advisors. On next page, Rose Zoes, Bruin assistant, and Cassy Cohen, Bruin managing editor. Steve Ainsworth . . . they call him CHIEF 10 PM NBC JF nina in " Advice and Consent " . . .tonight at 9 on ABC Saturday May 11, 1974 MORNING 6:00 2 FARM REPORT 4 NOT FOR WHITEY ONLY. The Daily Bruin staff guest stars to prove that there are minorities there . . . somewhere 7 OUR FRIEND THE CUTWORM A Sierra Club Production 2 THE PIG NEWS 6:30 A special report on pork choppers or fly by nights 2 NEWS — Repeat 4 TODAY Stephen Ainsworth, editor of the Daily Bruin, discusses media martyrdom. Bruin editors demonstrate the latest in office machinery and Ed Burgart, sports editor, finds a social conscience. 5 MOVIE — Horror Musical " Bambi Meets Godzilla. " (1972) Voices by Bill Scanlon and Robert Bamberger. Animation by Carol Schneiderman 7 SLUGGO AND HIS FRIENDS — Sigma Chi Cartoon Hour 7:00 7 CAPTAIN KANGAROO 7:30 7 NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE — Cartoon 8:00 7 MOVIE — Mmmm " Lust in The High Sierra! " (1974) Engrossing tale of a club affair that never gets out of the woods. close up THE DAILY BRUIN STAFF sesame street 8:00 3 10 28 ROSE . . .the story administrative assistant, and who loved her. cassy . . . and how she managed. Tonight ' s million dollar movie. 11 pm on ABC May 11, 1974 Saturday MORNING 2 NEWS — Cartoon 4 MOVIE — Drama " Beach Blanket Bingo. " Annette Funicello sings and dances her way into the hearts of America ' s Servicemen. 3 10 28 SESAME STREET Daily Bruin staff demonstrates that they really do know the alphabet. 8:30 7 THE JOKER IS YOU — Game UCLA Students compete to be first in line in filling out enrollment forms. Winner gets to destroy a computer terminal. 11 THE PRICE IS HIGH — Game Contestants guess the price of a UCLA education. 2 JEOPARDY — Game UCLA Daily Bruin covers the NPI demonstrations 4 HEALTH AND FITNESS Sierra Club demonstrates how to outfit a hike correctly. 5 WHAT ' S MY LINE — Game Guest panelists Sigma Chi Fraternity 9:00 11 MOVIE — Drama " Dawn Patrol. " Annette Funicello sings and dances her way into the hearts of America ' s Servicemen. 2 QUEEN FOR A DAY — Game Suz Rosen, Stephen Ainsworth and Don compete hiking with the Sierra Club . . . a nature special by photographer Bob Gom ez Weekdays at 4 Sigma Chi TOP ROW, left to right Dave Wohlstader " Tiny " Tim Rabun Tom Stefanoni Steve Elmer " Fudd " Harmon " Lil ' Habby " Brown Greg Redfern, USN Craig " Jr. " Valerach Rich Rhea James " Rolo " McCallum " Jean Claude " Willie Lopez Greg " Chimp " Abrams John " Dead " Wood MIDDLE ROW, left to right Jim " Bert " Martin " Major " Steve Straus Rich " Herr Doktor " Benner Griff " The Fried " Pifer Larry Thatt Dave Van Slyck Jan Harzan Jim " Five " Pietsch Phil " Mellow " Gonzales Tim " Leonardo " Johnson Sweetheart Lynn McNelly Pete Crabb, USMC Ralph Romo Mike " Hedda " Henton Marty " Mageest " Cohen Rick " Tequila " Coyle Chuck " Alpo " Alpers Brad " Judge P B " Hovey Chas Lowe Steve " Simpe " Simon Dean " The Socks " Isaacs Jim McNamara Eric Sims BOTTOM ROW, left to right Dennis " Little Mona " Carmona Manny Herrada Chuck Shure Al " Brutus " Kennedy Ben " Lars " Key Mark " Hoover " Ellis Jules " Frankie " Boand Jon " C. " Slaughter John Devorak Bob Tiedemann Roger " Lil ' Huffster " Hill A Fall of Water Tomorrow at dawn Saturday May 11, 1974 AFTERNOON 7:30 7 SWEETHEART OF SIGMA CHI Story of a vegetarian who creates a new tantalizing Greek salad sans dressing. 11 UPD Chief Lynn controls an outbreak of student riots and keeps " dangerous " NPI criminals off the streets. 13 YUNG FOOL Half Oriental white man played by white man beats three other white men to death in a plot that doesn ' t exist 8:00 7 CRAPPY DAYS Fonsy is investigated by the House Committee on Un-American Activities 2 THE ROOKIES The Rookies take a long-haired weirdo ' s dope away and help him find a job 4 POLICE STORY Industrious young cop breaks dope ring and helps pusher to get straight and get a job. 9:00 7 ADAM 12 Greese and Malloy find a long-haired hippy pushing dope and throw him in jail 11 DRAGNET — Rerun Sgt. Friday and Officer Gannon reform a dope ring and warn against the evils of marijuana close up SIERRA CLUB 11:00 combat Sierra Club team takes a breather before beginning the assault on Janss Steps May 11, 1974 Saturday EVENING 10:30 4 CLOSE UP The UCLA Sierra Club ' s role in protecting our natural resources — and fauna is explored. 7 GALLOPING GOURMAND Guest chef Don Findley, head of ASUCLA, will demonstrate how to make Salisbury Steak for 10,000, hmmmmmm. 13 ROLLO AND BULLWINKLE — Sigma Chi Cartoon 2 LET ' S BE LIBERAL — Game Host is Chancellor Young; Special Guests George McGovern, Tom Bradley and Gloria Steinem. Celebrity Guests try to stump panel. Winners receive guaranteed annual income for life and personally embossed Medi-Cal cards. 11:00 4 DEATH IN THE DORM — Serial Anne dies, Sam dies, Catherine shrinks and the foot gets worse. 7 COMBAT — Game UCLA Parking and the Sierra Club battle it out at the foot of Janss Steps. Winner gets to keep Parking Lot 6. 11 STAR TREK The Enterprise warps to Alpha Gamma Delta 13 MOVIE — Expose " The Amazing Transparent Man. " Features an all star cast as Chancellor Young and Don Findley struggle over ASUCLA. 2 OZZIE AND HARRIET Little Ricki comes home from an all night party at the AGD house Babes in the Woods Sierra Clubbers venture forth into the unknown Next week. . . • STAR TREK The Engineering section of the Enterprise visits the planet Mar-Di-Gras Every year in April Alpha Gamma Delta First row (left to right): Alice Gleason, September Maletz, Carol McGough. Second row: Carol Tollefson, Pam Easter, Vicki Darling, Tracy Wong, Kathy Goodwin. Third row: Meredith Lyon, Marie Huskey, Lynn Blair, Cindy Luis, Cindi Kurowski, Carol Reed, Donna Palamar, Norma Riley, Elin Cook, Kay Kawaratani, Lynne Warrick. uneasy in the sheets A Script by Rod Johnstone MS means MEDIUM SHOT CU means CLOSE UP LS means LONG SHOT 1. CU INT. DORMITORY ROOM to CU of door, track in as door opens, revealing Mark at MS desk frantically studying. Camera stops tracking as a 2. MS MS as he lifts his head. Two shot of Mark (sitting) and Karl (standing) Karl Hi! Still Studying? Mark Yeah . . . I ' ve got a calculus test tomorrow and I haven ' t opened a book till now. If I flunk, I ' m up ' shit creek. ' 3. MS INT. DORMITORY ROOM - NIGHT to High angle shot. Mark in bed asleep, tossing and CU turning as camera zooms-in on his face. 4. LS EXT. MATH-SCIENCE BUILDING Mark walking in through front door of building. 5. MS INT. MATH-SCIENCE BUILDING HALLWAY Bruin Belle standing by door that Mark is about to enter. Bruin Belle takes his hand and leads him through door. 6. LS INT. HALLWAY On other side of door, Bruin Belle leads him down hallway to door where Bruin Belle No. 2 is standing. Bruin Belle No. 1 gives Mark to Bruin Belle No. 2 who leads him through door. 6. LS INT. HALLWAY On other side of door, Bruin Belle No. 2 leads Mark down hallway to door where Bruin Belle No. 3 is and hands Mark over to her. The pace quickens as Mark is being taken through door. Mark begins to get Mark Where are you taking me? Bruin Belle No. 3 To your class. 7. CU INT. HALLWAY Mark ' s face as he is being led down hallway. A look of fright and apprehension comes over his face. Mark STOP IT! STOP IT! YOU ' RE MAKING ME LATE FOR MY TEST! 9. LS Mark being led down hallway by Bruin Belle No. 3, tries to resist. She takes him to door where Bruin Belle No. 4 is. 10. CU Mark ' s face (panic-stricken) Mark You ' re making me late . . . (screams) 11. LS Bruin Belles on steps, laughing at him. 12. MS INT. DORM ROOM Karl is shaking Mark who is delirious. Karl Wake up! Wake up! Mark finally wakes up, becoming calm. Mark Okay, I ' m awake. Mark looks at clock. 13. CU Clock — 7:00 14. MS Mark gets out of bed. Mark I ' d better hurry! My test is at 8:00. 15. LS EXT. SIDEWALK BY DRAKE STADIUM Mark walking on sidewalk. Notices detour sign up ahead. Takes detour which leads him down into stadium. 16. MS Camera tracking in front of Mark as he walks along stadium track. He suddenly hears a scuffling noise behind him. Mark quickly turns around. 17. LS Track team running toward him. 18. LS Mark quickly steps to side of track. 19. MS Mark bends down to tie shoe. A shot-put lands at his feet. He lifts his head up, startled. 20. LS Shot-putter throwing shot-put. 21. MS Mark gets up quickly and moves out of the way, barely missing b eing hit by shot-put. He stops running to catch his breath. He hears a shout and looks around. 22. LS A broad-jumper in mid-air coming toward him. 23. MS Mark gets out of the way, panics, runs toward pit and dives into it. 24. CU Mark ' s face looking up. A look of fear comes over his face. bruin belles 73-74 Bottom left to right: Kathy Kerr, Caren Siehl, Carol Schneiderman, Tati de la Torre, Denise Daze, Anne Young, Robbin Smith. Second row left to right: Eliza Kubota, Molly Newlon, Patty Leslie, Sandi Lesly Marx, Emi Kawasaki, Linda Phillips, Carol Tarcher, Nanci Takagi. Third row left to right: Kate Supple, Kim Holliday, Barbara Kent, Andrea Resnick, Donna Solomon, Marilyn Emily Waingrow, Cathie Galas, Roxanne Lew, Sunny Wise. Fourth row left to right: Diana Lopez, Anne Kane, Denise Labowitz, Michelle Gurrola, Kathy Porter, Pat Gutierrez, Julie Pastor, Cindi Kurowski, Susan Domke. Fifth row left to right: Carolyn Kent, Geri Molina, Karen Kay, Holly Unland, Robin Keller, Terry Gomme, Barbara Taylor, Maggie Stuart, Ellen Graf, Linda Robinson, Shannon Tracy, Marianne Davis. Sixth row left to right: Debby Riley, Mary Beth Jackson, Kathleen Skillman, Kathy Olish, Jennifer Welsh, Miriam Hernandez, Dawn Evans, Linda McAdams, Barbara Sirola, Linda Webb, Diane Fernbacher, Denise Fischer. 25. MS Pole-vaulter going over bar, about to land on Mark. 26. CU Mark screams. 27. MS INT. DORM ROOM Mark wakes up startled. Looks at clock. 7:00. Then at roommate who is still sleeping. Mark gets out of bed. Dresses. 28. MS INT. DORM CAFETERIA Mark eating breakfast. Quizzical look on face. 29. LS EXT. SIDEWALK BY DRAKE STADIUM Mark runs by stadium quickly — no detour sign evident. 30. LS EXT. MATH-SCIENCE BUILDING Mark runs and stops when he reaches door. Carefully checks to see if anyone is at the door. 31. CU Mark laughs, begins to relax. 32. MS INT. MATH ROOM Mark busily taking test. 33. MS Over-shoulder shot. Mark working out problem. He draws three concentric circles, then measures the distances between them. 34. CU Mark ' s face, intently taking test. He suddenly hears a gunshot. Startled, he looks around the room. 35. MS Camera pans 360 degrees. The ot her students are busily taking test as if nothing happened. 36. CU Mark ' s face — inquiring look. He then lowers his head to continue taking test. Suddenly, he jars his head up rapidly. 37. MS Mark holds his test up to the light. There is a hole near the center of the concentric circles. 38. CU Mark ' s face. Shock. 39. MS Paper being held up by Mark. More shots are heard. More holes are made in the paper. Mark turns around. 40. MS Marksmanship member shooting pistol. 41. MS Another Marksmanship member shooting rifle. 42. MS Two Marksmanship members shooting rifles. 43. MS Mark still holding paper up that is now riddled with bullet holes. Mark STOP IT! STOP IT! YOU ' RE RUINING MY TEST. STOP IT! 44. MS INT. DORM BEDROOM Mark wakes up, startled. Looks at clock — 7:00. Then looks at roommate ' s bed, which is empty. 45. CU Mark rubbing his eyes. Is not sure if he is awake or not. Slaps himself on the face. 46. MS Confident that he is awake, he gets out of bed. 47. LS EXT. SIDEWALK BY DRAKE STADIUM Mark runs by stadium quickly. 48. MS INT. HALLWAY IN MATH-SCIENCE BUILDING Mark looks to see if Bruin Belles are there, then goes into exam room. 49. LS INT. EXAM ROOM Mark sitting at desk taking test. 50. MS Mark taking test, guarding and covering test paper so that it cannot be shot at. 51. CU Test paper. Pencil finishes last problem. 52. CU Mark ' s face — happy, confident. 53. MS Mark picks paper up and takes it to the professor. On the way to the professor ' s desk, smiles and is confident about test. 54. MS Over-the-shoulder shot. Hand taps Mark on the shoulder as he is about to hand his test to the professor. Mark turns around. 55. CU Ralph Nader. Ralph Nader Just one moment. Let me see that piece of paper. 56. MS Mark, startled — hesitates, then hands paper to him. Ralph Nader examines paper by holding it up to light. Ralph Nader Just as I thought. This paper is defective poor quality, we must reject it and dispose of it. Ralph Nader takes match out of pocket, lights it on his pants, and sets test paper on fire. He holds it in his hand as it burns. 57. CU Test paper burning. 58. MS Mark picks up the remains of the paper. Mark MY TEST. YOU ' RE BURNING UP MY ANSWERS!! 59. CU INT. DORM ROOM Mark wakes up startled and scared. Looks at clock. 60. CU Clock — 7:00. 61. CU Mark looking at roommate. 62. CU Roommmate sleeping. 63. CU Mark ' s face — frustrated look — gives up. 64. MS High angle. Mark in bed, pulls cover over head, goes back to sleep. 65. CU Clock — 7:05. 66. CU Clock — 7:10. 67. CU Clock — 7:15. the end Sports Isolated October 22, 1974 THE UCLA NETWITS Brian Teacher Tom Kreiss Brian Teacher TENNIS See related story on page 64 Fordi Taygan Steve Mott Dave Parker SCORECARD MARDI GRAS The 1974 UCLA Mardi Gras April on Spaulding Field attracted the largest attendance in the history of the fair with 58,000 people spending a record $210,000. The Mardi Gras raises money for Uni Camp, a summer camp in the San Bernadino Mountains for and diabetic children. There were a host of rides, food stands and game booths. Minsky ' s, an old style Burlesque show sponsored by Theta Delta Chi and Pi Beta Phi, won the Ma Crandall Sweepstakes Award for the sixth year in a row. Theta Delta Chi has copyrighted the script for Minsky ' s Booth to prevent other organizations from running the booth in the future The Funhouse Booth sponsored by Lambda Chi Alpha and Alpha Phi won the Executive Trophy, Grand Marshall Award and the award for best facade. Joe ' s Drive In, a booth with a nostalgic look at the typical drive-in restaurant, took first prize in the ' Family Competition. ' The booth was sponsored by Alpha Phi and Kappa Kappa Psi. The best new booth at the Mardi Gras was ' You Bet Your Life, ' a lucky spot game sponsored by the fifth floor of Rieber Hall Dormitory. The Teriyaki food booth won the `First Division Prize ' with other awards going to Space War, Showboat and Taco booths. STUDENT SCALPING " If we catch any of those student we ' ll get their names and turn them over to administrators for disciplinary action, " said Jerry Weiner prior to the UCLA - Notre Dame basketball game at Pauley Pavilion. Weiner, the manager of the UCLA Athletic Ticket Office, was referring to student scalpers when echoing student ' parasites. ' During the week prior to the Bruins ' rematch with the ' Irish ' on January 26, professional ticket scalpers were getting anywhere from $25 to $100 a ticket while student scalpers were collecting $15 to $25 per ducat. The ' Irish ' had broken the Bruins ' unparalleled 88-game winning streak the week before, 71-70, in South Bend. Several hundred Bruin students slept outside Pauley Pavilion the night before the January 26 rematch. " We have no control over a student scalper who sells tickets to other students because all students have to do is present student identification at Bruin home games, " said Weiner. " I feel sorry for students who pay even $6 for a ticket, " said UCLA athletic director J.D. Morgan, " when they could have purchased a ticket for merely 25 cents a week prior to the game. " The Athletic Ticket Office places 1500 unreserved tickets on sale one week before each Bruin home game for students. The UCLA Ticket Office did everything possible to stop the professional and student scalpers, using plainclothesmen at times. Many students were advertising in the dorms and on campus in order to sell their tickets. " It ' s an easy way to make money to pay off my month ' s rent, " voiced a student who wished to remain anonymous. " I know the Bruins will rout the ' Irish ' anyway ; so what if I miss the game. " Rout it was : UCLA 95, Notre Dame 75 THE READERS TAKE OVER 19 TH HOLE Sir : A Basketball Lottery System was approved last fall by the UCLA Stadium Executive Committee to eliminate the waiting-in-line caper that favored the students living on or near campus in obtaining Bruin season basketball tickets. The lottery drew raves and criticisms from Bruin students. The long waits in line were eliminated, which pleased the lottery supporters. But, opponents of the lottery felt that many die-hard fans failed to receive tickets through the lottery, forcing them to purchase individual tickets one week prior to each home game. Opponents also claimed that dropped as a result of the lottery, because many of the students who lucked out in getting season tickets could have cared less about Bruin basketball. Thirdly, scalping increased under the lottery. Statistics do show a poor student turnout at Bruin games this year under the lottery. At 14 regular home games, excluding the Bruin Classic, an average of 2,546 students attended; that is 58.1% of the 4,379 student tickets sold. (The figure 4,379 includes both season tickets obtained thru lottery and 1500 individual tickets put on sale the Monday prior to each home game.) In Lew Alcindor ' s senior year, student attendance dropped similarly to the decline of attendance this season in Walton ' s senior year. Many of the Bruin students expected UCLA romps and failed to show up. This season the Bruin students failed to show in great numbers at games against the weaker teams, such as St. Bonaventure and Ohio (1,596 and 1,546), but 3,867 and 3,423 students showed at the Notre Dame and Maryland contests. UCLA athletic director J.D. Morgan said, " It is up to the UCLA students whether there will be a lottery next year. It ' s their business. " UCLA ' s students acted accordingly and voted the lottery in for the 1974-1975 school year. Sincerely, Hunter Kaplan WILLIAM PETER BLATTY ' S THE EXORCIST Directed by WILLIA FRIEDKIN MATINEE TODAY The UCLA student body had just finished their fall quarter final exams and the men ' s and women ' s gyms were deserted. Everyone was out enjoying Christmas vacation. However, a mile from the UCLA campus there was bedlam, hysteria and chaos. Thousand of people of all ages were lined up at the National Theatre in Westwood where the horrifying film, The Exercisist, was showing. While several thousand performed deep knee bends in the pouring rain in the box-office line, a thousand more stood in the ticket holders line, running in place on a three block long treadmill. Never had Westwood been more congested — or sweaty. The parking lots, restaurants and sidewalks were jammed with people. As many as twenty Kinesiology majors kept the crowds in order. Ticket scalping and bribes were at an all time high. People were offering doormen as much as $50 to let them in the theatre ahead of the lines. The radio and television publicity for The Exercisist was only secondary as the best-selling book, The Exercisist, written by William ' Batty ' Blatty, had sold 10,000,000 copies. Word of mouth publicity on the film expanded like Bill Walton ' s professional contract. Once the crowd entered the theatre to view The Exercisist, a film produced and written by ' Batty ' Blatty, situations didn ' t improve. Doormen carried smelling salts to relieve fainting persons. The Exercisist, a film based on the last kinesically verified case of isometric possession in America, scared people enough to make them faint and vomit. The long wait, treadmill, knee bends and all also had much to do with the sickness inside. In one of the film ' s initial weeks in Westwood it grossed 150,000, the largest weekly theatre gross in the history of motion pictures in Southern California. The movie has totaled $19,000,000-plus to date and could break Godfather ' s record as the greatest grossing film ever. Numerous employees at the theatre are UCLA students, and for them the fall quarter break was a continuation of hard work. Employees were putting in 60 to 80 hour weeks, many times working up to 18 hours a day. Nine in the morning to midnight was a common working day with overtime pay. After getting off work at midnight, cashiers Patti Sanders and Mary Judin, both UCLA students, would wear their working uniforms home since they would jog back to work at nine the next morning. Other UCLA students working out at the theatre are Sue Dixon, Donna Yearwood, Terry Shenkman, Linda Kimball, Denise Gazeley, Deirdre Dewan, Louise Landolfo, Cathy Terry Boerger, Tracy Gamble, Ken Swift, Vicky Hirschberg, Hunter Kaplan and Jack LaLanne. NOW YOU SEE HIM . . . Hunter Kaplan, a junior majoring in history, is the author of this " Sports Isolated " section. He is a staff writer and sports writer for the " Daily Bruin " and free-lances for several sports magazines and newspapers in the Pacific Northwest. Hunter attended the University of Oregon in Eugene his freshman and sophomore years, where he co-authored the book " The History of Oregon Athletics. " His other interests include biology and stamp collecting. RUGBY Alpha Left to right: Beth Smith, Sue Silverman, Epsilon Phi Marla Holland, Diane Fernbacher, Carol Holman, Patti Howard, Debbie Friedman, Patricia Boatwright, Linda Lippett, Beth Malitz, Kathy Olish, Beverly Pinto. Left to right: Roben Walmert, Gloria Leiter, Debbie Schulman, Ninay Freed, Kathy Hodes, Paula Wiener, Carol Schneiderman, Leslie Marx, Kim Dinnerstein, Patti Kroft, Debi Cloper, Nancy Richmond, Wendi Berger, Lonnie Levi, Debbie Herman, Sherry Raffelson FOR THE RECORD A round-up of the year 1973-74 RUGBY The 1974 UCLA Rugby team, coached by Dennis Storer, captured its fifth national championship in the last six years. An undefeated two-week tour of England highlighted the campaign. The Bruins shocked two top-notch British rugby clubs and St. Mary ' s College before climaxing the tour with a 19-6 win over Loughborough College. Loughborough has a rugby dynasty that parallels UCLA ' s basketball accomplishments under Coach John Wooden. The English powerhouse has won nine of the last eleven England University Championships. UCLA was the first university team outside of England to ever upend the Loughborough ruggers. Storer scheduled games with St. Mary ' s College, Dunstonians Rugby Club, Loughborough Colllege and Blackheath Rugby Club through contacts he had with coaches in England. The Bruin coach hails from England himself. He competed in rugby for both Loughborough College and Blackheath Rugby Club, UCLA ' s third and fourth victims on the tour. After initiating the tour with a 12-6 win over St.Mary ' s on a last-second touchdown by Bruin Captain Terry Scott, the Bruins whipped Dunstonians Rugby Club, 15-4. Storer started many reserve ruggers against Dunstonians to enable the starters to rest up for the biggest game with Loughborough. Loughborough played a fast, crisp passing game with little kicking. The Bruins countered by tackling hard, springing the ball loose. UCLA ' s long passing caught Loughborough by surprise as ' the bomb ' isn ' t common in English style of rugby. " The British don ' t grow up throwing a football like in the States, " said Bruin back Gary James. " We caught them off guard. Very few people expected us to win more than one game on the tour and we took all four. " The Bruins closed out the tour with a 33-10 rout of the Blackheath Rugby Club. The UCLA ruggers were ecstatic upon return from the tour. Bruins spoke of the competitive action and the cultural exchange and fellowship between athletes. Bruin ruggers exchanged school pennants with St. Mary ' s at a banquet. There was also plenty of time for touring London. The Bruins stayed at a hotel near Hyde Park where they could cat ch buses and subways easily. The British Museum, Stonehenge, Westminister Abbey and many more sites were viewed by the Bruin ruggers. By touring England the Bruin ruggers became the first UCLA athletic team to compete in Europe. Each Bruin rugger pitched in $150 of his own to make the tour possible. The rest of the money to sponsor the tour came from alumni contributions, including donations from UCLA football stars James McAlister and Kermit Johnson, and from the remaining funds in the UCLA rugby budget. On April 13 UCLA, undefeated on the season in Southern California Rugby Division 1, took the national championship by edging the Santa Monica Rugby Club, 10-3. UCLA ' s Division II squad, ' The Greyhounds, ' won the Southern California Division II title with a 16-15 come-from-behind win over the Pasadena Rugby Club. UCLA ' s 1974 National Championship Team 1 Del Chipman — senior 2 Steve Auerbach — 3rd year medical student 3 Gary James — Most Valuable Back Co-Recipient — senior 4 John Fowler — Rookie of the year — freshman 5 Terry Scott — Most Valuable Bruin Rugger in 1974 — Co-captain 6 Paul Moyneur — former defensive back for Pepper Rodgers ' football team — Most Valuable Forward 7 Marlin Petersen — received award for Bruin rugger achieving academic excellence — graduate school of business 8 Dennis Jablonski — Most Valuable Back 9 Jeff Smith — footballer — junior 10 Barrie Thomas — senior 11 Skip Niebauer — received award for special contribution 12 Larry Lane — received award for special 13 Mike Jacoby — footballer — junior 14 Jamie Grant — third year medical student 15 Dave Briley — footballer — senior 16 Vince Pasquariello — graduate student — kinesiology 17 Mike Pavich — former linebacker for Pepper Rodgers — graduate student in math 18 Greg Steel — footballer — senior 19 John Sullivan — punter on football team — sophomore 20 Matt Fahl — Defensive secondary on football team — junior 21 Jesse Naufahu — graduate student in engineering 22 John Pasquariello — sophomore 23 Wade Killefer — Co-captain — received award for special contribution — graduate student in architecture 24 Rob Scribner — former quarterback under Pepper Rodgers, now with Los Angeles Rams 25 Eric Eckern — senior 26 Marke Morze — Most Valuable Second Unit Player, ' Greyhounds ' — senior 27 Rudy Nieto — Most Valuable Third Unit Player ' Barbarians ' Results of Regular Season Games UCLA 66 Occidental 3 UCLA 32 UC San Diego 6 UCLA 94 Valencia RFC 6 UCLA 44 Occidental 6 UCLA 23 USC 4 UCLA 9 Sydney, Australia 22 UCLA 13 Stanford 6 UCLA 25 British Columbia 26 UC LA 6 Berkeley 20 UCLA 11 Davis 6 UCLA 11 Long Beach State 3 UCLA 15 UC Santa Barbara 3 Won 9 Lost 3 England Tour UCLA 12 St. Mary ' s College 6 UCLA 15 Dunstonians Rugby Club 4 UCLA 19 Loughborough 6 UCLA 33 Blackheath Rugby Club 10 Championship Game UCLA 10 Santa Monica Rugby Club 3 In addition to coaching the Bruins to five national crowns in rugby, Dennis Storer has coached California State Rugby Tours to New Zealand and Australia. Storer has been President and Secretary of the Pacific Coast Rugby Union. Storer also serves as soccer coach at UCLA where his Bruin teams have captured seven consecutive District Soccer Crowns. Three of Storer ' s soccer teams, 1970, 1972 and 1973, reached the final NCAA Championship Game at Miami, barely losing the three games to American soccer power St. Louis University. UCLA ' s record on its campus courts, ' Sunset Courts, ' was an unblemished 15-0. The defending Pacific-8 Conference Champions won 16 of 18 dual matches in the 1974 season, losing only to the defending national champs Stanford and runner-up USC. However, included in the Bruins ' 16 wins in 1974 were convincing victories over both Stanford and USC, the nation ' s number one and two ranked teams. In front of a vociferous crowd at the Sunset Courts the Bruins, coached by Glenn Bassett, pulled off the collegiate tennis upset of the year with a 5-4 win over Stanford. The Bruins won four singles and a doubles match from the Cards. UCLA ' s number one player, sophomore Brian Teacher, smashed America ' s top ranked amateur Alex Mayer, 6-3, 6-2. Mayer, who captured last year ' s NCAA singles and doubles crowns (teaming with Bill Delaney in doubles), has won nearly every amateur tournament imaginable. He defeated Romania ' s Ilie Nastase, 1973 ' s top player in the world, in the quarter finals of Wimbledon last year. Tom Kreiss, another Bruin sophomore, knocked off Stanford ' s Pat DuPre while Bruin freshmen Ferdi Taygan and Dave Parker overhauled Cardinals Bill Delaney and Nick S aviano. However, in front of 8000 fans in Palo Alto, the largest crowd ever to watch a college tennis match, Stanford gained revenge against the Bruins with a 7-2 dual match win. The third thru six singles and second and third doubles matches were staged in front of 1000 spectators on Stanford ' s outdoor tennis stadium in the afternoon. Later in the evening, the first and second singles and first doubles matches were played in Stanford ' s basketball arena, Maples Pavilion, before 7000 fans. Against USC the Bruins also split a pair of UCLA won four of the six singles against the Trojans in the opening match at David X. Marks Stadium on the USC campus. However, USC swept all three doubles to win the dual match, 5-4. Bruin singles wins were recorded by Taygan, sophomore Steve Mott, Parker and Kreiss. The Bruins won the rematch over the Trojans 6-3 at the Sunset Courts, sweeping all three doubles after splitting the singles at 3-3. The Bruins ' seven-man lineup in 1974 was comprised of one senior, three sophomores and three freshmen. Number one man Brian Teacher is talented enough to defeat any amateur in the United States on a given day, as he proved with his win over Mayer. The 6-4, 165 lb. ace has a pulverizing serve. He swept to victory in his first nine matches before going into a mid-season slump in which he lost four consecutive singles matches. Teacher came back strong to beat Michigan ' s Victor Amaya and USC ' s John Andrews, winding up the campaign with an 11-4 record. Teacher, an All-American last year as a freshman, ranked fifth in Southern California Men ' s Singles and 36th nationally. Teacher and Mott were an excellent first doubles team for the Bruins, posting an 11-3 record in dual play. The Bruin doubles pair won the 1972 National Junior Doubles Crown as preps from San Diego. Mott was a mainstay for the Bruins at No. 2 singles, snatching 15 of 18 singles matches, including impressive wins over USC ' s Sashi Menon, Stanford ' s John Whitlinger, SMU ' s Tim Vann, Mich igan ' s Fred De Jesus and USC ' s John Andrews. Freshman Ferdi Taygan from Farmingham, Massachusetts, handled No. 3 singles, posting a 10-5 dual record. He won the National Junior Clay Court Singles title last year. Taygan teamed with Kreiss in No. 2 Doubles, compiling a 7-1 record, including a win over Whitlinger and DuPre of Stanford. Tom, the third of three Kreiss brothers to play tennis at UCLA, was the No. 4 performer with a 13-3 record. Kreiss pulled off wins over DuPre, Stanford ' s Mikey Wayman and Michigan ' s Kevin Senich. Dave Parker from Galesburg, Illinois, played at No. 5 singles, recording a 16-2 season singles record, tops on the squad. Parker won the 1973 National Interscholastic Championships. Spencer Segura, the son of famed professional Pancho, rounded out the UCLA singles corps, finishing with a 9-5 record. Freshman Horace Reid, who prepped at Atlanta and Long Island, teamed with Parker in third doubles. Reid was the first Black to win a Georgia State Singles Titles, winning in both 1970 and 1971. Sophomore Jim Landes from Great Neck, N.Y., teamed with Reid at third doubles on occasion during the beginning of the season. Tennis was the first sport in which the Bruins won a conference title (1920), first Pacific Coast title (1932), and first NCAA team title (1950). The Bruins have won more NCAA team titles in tennis (10) than any other sport on campus. Bill Ackerman coached the Bruins to their first NCAA title in 1950. J.D. Morgan coached title teams in 1952, 53, 54, 56, 60, 61 and 65 and Glenn Bassett, 70 and 71. Bassett has coached eight years at UCLA, taking over in 1967 when Morgan stepped up to devote full time to UCLA ' s 18 sport program as Athletic Directo r. Bassett has coached the Bruins to four Pac-8 crowns, 1969, 70, 71 and 73. The Bruins were second in 67 and 68. UCLA finished second in the NCAA finals in both 67 and 69, and third in 68, 72 and 73. The Bruin coach posted a sensational 142-2 record as coach of Santa Monica High, including five CIF titles prior to coming to Westwood in 1966. He played tennis at UCLA in 1948-50, serving as captain on UCLA ' s first NCAA title team in 1950. 1974 Season ' s Record UCLA 7 Long Beach State 2 UCLA 9 California Baptist 0 UCLA 9 University of San Diego 0 UCLA 9 San Diego State 0 UCLA 9 Calif. Bakersfield 0 UCLA 7 Redlands 2 UCLA 6 Irvine 3 UCLA 8 Notre Dame 1 UCLA 8 Pepperdine 1 UCLA 9 San Jose State 0 UCLA 5 Stanford 4 UCLA 6 California 3 UCLA 7 SMU 2 UCLA 4 USC 5 UCLA 7 California 2 UCLA 2 Stanford 7 UCLA 8 Michigan 1 UCLA 6 USC 3 Blue Key, a national honorary organization, devotes itself to community service, fund raising and social activities. The UCLA Chapter under President Andrew Berg has 40 members, all juniors or seniors in the top 35% of their class and recognized as campus leaders. Byron Atkinson, Dean of Students, is the chapter ' s sponsor. In the 1973-74 school year Blue Key did a parking survey for campus administrators and worked on the Red Cross Blood Drive. They sponsored a three week series of Dustin Hoffman films and a welfare program for underprivileged youths. Blue Key ' s coke booth won the Second Division Prize at the 1974 Mardi Gras. Top row, left to right: Michael Perry, James Riska, John Piini, Brian Hughes. Second row: Jim Mitchell, Andy Bergh, Ronald Martin, James W. George, Scott Parker, Greg Johnson. Third row : Richard Bocci, Clay Gallagher, Doug Birnie, Robert Webb, David Colton, Mark Wilkins. Fourth row: Robert Sinclair, Robert Gregory Meidel, Edward Efron, David Dapper, Jon Zaich, William Leonard. Bottom row: Robert Clarke, Garth Bergeson, Michael Gallagher, Cort Haymond, Tracy Green, Tom Larson. Blue Key UCLA DAILY BRUIN ALPHA PHI Alpha Top (row 6): Jan Susan Riley. Row 5: Laurie Jo Grable, Robin Keller, Robin Howard, Colleen Boyd. Row 4: Vicky Riley, Cheryl Cutting, Nancy Henriksen, Roma DePrang, Debi Deckwith, Jeannie Needham, Karen Latch, Cheryl Botzong, Pat Sankey. Row 3: Sharon Hannifin, Laurie Drake, Jeannie Miche, Terry Gromme, Bev Stoll, Mary Jo Jeanne La Forge, Judy Judy Henderson, Jeanne Maxwell, Gail Weiland, Sharon Caplis, Blair McGovern. Row 2: Barbara Bruderlin, Roxanne Malian, Irene Higgins, Denise Daze, Leslie Tayler, Barbara Taylor, Cathie Galas, Pat Gutierrez, Ann Morgan, Nancy Contreras, Ann Davaly, Paula Soulis, Karen Rosenblatt, Claire Choate. Bottom (row 1): Nancy Salisbury, Linda Stanky. Not pictured: Sheree Adams, Anita Ahlgren, Julie Allen, Nancy Bardwil, Kathy Brown, Shirley Deutsch, Terri Foley, Lu Ann Malseed, Mary Ann Marks, Margie Markson, Marcie Marshall Stephanie Oh, Lee Polham, Carol Reed, Judy Sims. ucla daily bruin UCLA DAILY BRUIN The Nommo staff, ' 73- ' 74 Nommo Editor Hayes speaks By Tom Kerr DB Staff Writer " I was pleased that we had articles dealing with the Black community, " Roy Hayes, this years Editor-in-Chief of Nommo, said. " But we also had concern to write about the concerns and problems of Blacks and Third World people around the world, including the Chile coup and the Portugese colonies. " Sitting in the Nommo office in Kerckhoff Hall, Hayes reflected back on the accomplishments and highlights of the year. " We reached a lot of people, " he said, " we got letters from Argentina letting us know Nommo was read there. A lot of former UCLA students in African countries sent letters also. We had one man come here to visit from Russia. He said he read Nommo in an African-American studies center in Moscow. " Getting staff was not a major problem according to Hayes. He said that over 50 people had helped with the paper, which was good considering that they all had to work on their own time. Viewpoints " We always had many different ideolgical viewpoints among the staff, including socialism, Maoism, and " Hayes said, " But we always left the structure so that regardless of political philosophy the individual could express their viewpoint. " There were also some problems during the year. " It ' s hard not having money to pay the staff a salary. You have to depend on promises, and people sometimes forget. But we never had a story we wanted done that someone couldn ' t deal with, " Hayes. " The biggest challenge is to deal with the administration to make sure Nommo stays here, so we can continue to produce a paper which Black students at UCLA can be proud of. " He said that Nommo had be come a tradition here and that people expected to read it. An unusual problem has the disappearance of papers. Hayes says that Nommo was often found strewn across the campus or stuffed in trash cans. But he feels they should not be too concerned with people who try and hassle them because of their viewpoint. Continuation Hayes stressed the of the continuation of the special interest papers. " These papers give a different point of view on political and social problems. " He noted that he had been very pleased with the amount of communication which had taken place between the special interest papers. " Nommo, like the other papers makes the campus aware of the community, and " Nommo, like the other papers makes the campus aware of the community, and the community aware of the campus. We also try to inform our readers about state, national and international news of to Black people, " Hayes said. " Our main object is to report the news the best we can in order to make Black students aware, and motivate Black students to work for Black people, " he said. " We want to make Black students use their own talents and creativity in putting out a newspaper which will do these things. " The picture on the cover of today ' s BRuin was taken by Eric The camera was steadied by Mark Rubin. Ed Rodman wrote the headline. Steve Ainzworth served as Art Director. Phrateres, 1973-74. Pictured: Esther Bendit, Linda Datz, Sylvia Greenspan, Marcia Herkman, Dany Margolies, Suzanne Morlock, Carol Shulmistras, Joan Winkler, Dean Mary Jane Krebs, Dawn Saunders. Not pictured: Joetta Adamec, Muffy Arbuckle, Wendy Berweiler, Bobbie Chazen, Rita Del Rosario, Angie Dominicis, Wendy Harvey, Gloria Herkovits, Marla Karwoski, Anita Mork, Susan Nelson, Wendy Ortwin, Kathy Parsons, Marilynn Phelps, Tobi Rael, Roxie Shapiro, Laurey Shiozaki, Susan Stein, Sandy Stept, Ann Stork, Roslyn Swartz, Catherine Uchida, Sue Waldeck, Maxine Zuest. In the service of UCLA Phrateres Phrateres is a social and service organization open to all university women. Phrateres ' Alpha Chapter has been keeping busy this year with various activities and projects. In finishing up 1973, they helped the Alumni Association with its Christmas mail by addressing envelopes. Later, they again helped out by itemizing the distribution of complimentary tickets to a UCLA anniversary event. At the start of the Winter quarter, the Alpha leaders put business aside to relax at the year ' s first social gathering. Dawn Saunders, alumnus and co-ordinator of the 1974 Convention, invited the officers and committee chairwomen to a potluck dinner at the home of her mother-in-law. The girls, and their dates, and their husbands ate and enjoyed, but inevitably, hard-working General Joan Winkler, Secretary Susan Stein, Membership Committee Chairwoman Wendy Ortwin, and Dawn Saunders stepped aside to discuss Phrateres events. On January 25, Alpha Chapter assisted the UCLA Alumni Association in escorting 60 youths from the Foundation for the Junior Blind to the Clara basketball game in Pauley Pavilion. Before the game, Phratereans and members of the Alumni Council and Board of Directors attended an orientation meeting where they saw a film, " Within Darkness . . . Light, " to acquaint them with the Foundation. Foundation director Norman Kaplan advised them to try to treat the kids much like anyone else, shedding any awkwardness they might have. Then it was off the game, where, armed with transistor radios, the blind students were able to follow the action while their hosts described the activities to them. During half-time the Alumni Association treated them to hots dogs and malts, but the real treat came after the game at a special reception in Pauley ' s Founders ' Room, where coach John Wooden met and talked with the kids and answered their many questions. Also present were UCLA Athletic Director J.D. Morgan (with whom Phraterean Linda Datz quickly chatted about women ' s sports): players Ralph Drollinger, Marques Johnson, and Andre McCarter: football coach Dick Vermeil; and members of the UCLA pep squad. The thousand details of the successful evening were by Deb Hardin, Assistant Director Alumni Relations, and Phrateres ' arrangements were made by Maxine Zusst and Angie Dominicus. For a community outreach the Alphas arranged to visit a nursing home in Gardena. After two trips to the United Church Care Center to talk over plans, organizers Angie Dominicus, Rita Del Rosario, and Maxine Zuest agreed upon March 9 as the date for the Phrateres ' visit. Due to illness and other circumstances, not as many girls were able to go as (cont. on page 71) Alpha Lambda Delta active all year UCLA DAILY BRUIN 74 Alpha Lambda Delta is a national scholastic honor society for freshman women who have achieved a 3.5 grade point average in their freshman year. This year, the exe cutive board broke tradition and elected three presidents: Barbara Bronson, Fall ' 73 President; Linda Winter ' 74 President; and Tobi Rael, Spring ' 74 President. They all worked together as three co-presidents sharing duties and responsibilities for the year. Mrs. Mary Jane Krebs, Associate Dean of Students, is the organization ' s dedicated advisor. The Alpha Lambda Delta " Eyeglass Collection Drive " has been so successful that a permanent used-eyeglass collection site has been established in the Dean of Students office. Through the Direct Relief Foundation, the eyeglasses are sent to 1600 hospitals throughout half the world. The organization sponsored a Spin Art booth at UCLA Mardi Gras ' 74. Alpha Lambda Delta was awarded a trophy for first place in their division. The Formal Initiation, held in the spring, was attended by over 200 guests. Students from all over the world at the Student Center catered the exotic desserts which ranged from Greek Baklava to Pakistani Shahi Tukda. For the first time, a UCLA chapter member was awarded an Alpha Lambda Delta Fellowship. Miss Jane Freeman, received one of seven graduate fellows hips awarded nationally. Future plans include taking underprivileged children on various excursions ranging from a toy factory to the Griffith Park Observator and L.A. Zoo. Social Activities and a booth in UCLA Mardi Gras ' 75 are also planned for a very busy year. Top Row: Regina Aichner; Deborah Walther; Marlene Magenhein; Nobuyo Watanabe; Cheryl Bascom ; Kathleen Espinoza. Bottom Row: Margaret Robe; Gloria Teves, Treasurer; Barbara Bronson, Fall ' 73 President; Linda Netzer, Winter ' 74 President; Tobi Rael, Spring ' 74 President; Sylvia Greenspan, Senior Advisor; Marianne Finerman, Vice-President. Not Pictured: Jeannette Bernstein; Halyse Kolom; Jackie Gong; Dany Margolies; Advisor, Mrs. Mary Jane Krebs, Associate Dean of Students. Jews, Ranchers and Unex The American Indian in European Folklore The American Indian, folk belief and fact, from Aristotle to twentieth century American writings Richard A. Naylor, M.A., Instructor in English, California State University, Los Angeles by Brown Stever University Extension, UCLA, offers more than 3500 classes and special programs each year, many of them innovative and experimental in content, format and teaching methods, with extensive use of media technology and emphasis on direct student involvement in experiential learning. Credit and non-credit courses in nearly every academic discipline and in interdisciplinary areas provide opportunities for professional career for growth in personal awareness and human interrelationships, and the exploration of alternative life styles in the work environment and in the home; for expansion of cultural horizons ; for enhancement of capability to assess and deal with the great issues of politics, economics and society, in this era of fundamental reappraisal of established ideas and values. A look at some past programs reveals the true diversity of courses offered. Probably one of the more obscure courses taught was entitled " Jews, Ranchers, Indians, Miners, and Merchants: The Jew in the West from the Gold Rush of 1849 to the Turn of the Century. " Two programs with special appeal to experts were a workshop in intercollegiate football coaching, and a course " Does your Food Service have Blood ' ? " (At this time there is no word on whether an ASUCLA representative Extension programs are designed to bring to adults in the community, on a part-time basis, the benefits of the talent research and resources of the University of California. In the broad social view, Extension has primary responsibility for the application of University resources toward the solution of crucial urban and statewide problems. Program formats include regular campus-equivalent classes; lecture series ; discussion groups; conferences, institutes, short courses; community development and other public service programs; film and television series; correspondence study; residential programs; studio workshop courses in the creative and performing arts; certificate programs (including a variety of paraprofessional programs) requiring from a few months up to two years to complete; counseling and testing. Veterans may use the education benefits available to them under Federal and State laws to enroll in University Extension classes, provided the classes are part of their prescribed and recognized objectives approved by the Veterans Administration. Information on all extension courses is available from the Extention Offices at the corner of campus, 10995 Le Conte. The telephone of the registrar is 825-2401. Correction We wish to clear up any misconceptions which may have been caused by our improperly placing pictures on the front page, which caused Jack Lemmon to be identified as Speaker Bob Moretti, and vice-versa. This minor error, which slipped by our city editor, layout editor, assistant night editor, night editor and pastie, was corrected by our printer when he noticed the problem after about half the papers had been printed. Phrateres (cont. from page 71) was planned, but the Center ' s activities director Don Porter welcomed the group in. The girls served the patients do-nuts and punch, then sat and talked or played cards with them. While Kathy Parsons played the piano, one joyful patient led the group in a lively chorus of " Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head. " It was a fine day well spent by the girls present, and plans were made to go again when the girls could present some form of show. The end of March proved to be a busy time for the Alpha girls. On the 30th, the Phratereans volunteered to participate in the Annual Easter Egg Hunt and Carnival held by the Foundation for the Junior Blind at their headquarters in Baldwin Hills. During the morning, the girls helped to hide thousands of beautiful eggs (real and in the grass of a nearby park. Later on, more than three hundred blind children through the grass collecting the eggs and were rewarded with prizes. In the Carnival that followed, there were more than 40 booths with prizes for everyone, rides, popcorn and candy, snow cones, and helium-filled balloons. Wendy Harvey ran the Auto Races booth; Sandy Stept ran the Ring Post game; Roslyn Swartz ran the Ring Toss booth; and her husband Allan ran the Huckle Buck booth, while Linda Datz took pictures of the The light rain that fell could not dampen the spirits of the children and the volunteers, all of whom ended the day tired but very, very happy!! The next day, Sunday, a group of 40 active Phratereans, alumna, husbands, and friends gathered for a sunny at Manhattan Beach. Dawn Saunders opened her home to the picnicing troop and she and her husband Jerry the day ' s activities. After some rousing games of volleyball, walks along the water ' s edge and a little football, the troup feasted on hot dogs, chips, a scrumptious relish tray, etc. But even full stomachs couldn ' t keep part of the gang from another game of volleyball. At the day ' s e nd, the Phratereans were again tired but happy, rosy cheeked and ready to begin the new Spring Quarter. Spring quarter was especially busy for Phrateres. Mardi Gras was fun but hard work. Our pizza booth was one of the most popular thanks to Suzanne Morlock, Marcia Herkman and all our members. Blood Drive was our next activity. Esther Bendit organized our part in the Blood Drive. Several of our girls participated in UCLA ' 74, commemorating UCLA ' s anniversary. Phrateres ' formal initiation was held at the Sunset Rec center on Saturday, May 18th. ( cont. on page 73) DIVERSITY — One example of the many hundreds of courses available is represented above. As can be seen, the variety of course materials extends far the expected. On-Campus rowing stadium to be built DB Photo by Susie Hatago UCLA DAILY BRUIN By Lindsay Conner Daily Bruin Sports Writer One Goal. Every year, the UCLA soccer team begins its season with one ultimate goal: the NCAA Championship. It is the prize about which every player dreams, the greatest reward a soccer coach can receive. It also the only honor which has eluded UCLA soccer and head coach Dennis Storer, the winningest field general in American soccer. This year, Storer and his Bruins surprised the pre-season pollsters by marching all the way to the national championship game. They came to within that one match of their one goal — and failed, by one goal. With victory almost in their grasp, the UCLA squad lost the championship in a 2-1 overtime defeat at the hands of the St. Louis University. It was the only loss the Bruins suffered all year. On the way to the title game, UCLA piled up a 20-0-2 record — beating the finest teams in the western United States. The Bruins outscored their opponents by a whopping margin of 85-23, racking up eight shut-outs and capturing the University of California Championship and Husky Soccer Classic titles. " The season was highly gratifying, " said coach Storer, shortly after the loss to St. Louis. " The lads really deserved better than second, but it was still a great season. You can ' t ask for more than 150 per cent — and that ' s what the boys gave. " Storer feels that the tremendous effort which was a consistent hallmark of the UCLA squad was ultimately resposible for the team ' s success. " Not too much was expected at the beginning of the year, but so much was achieved because the players really put forward a tremendous amount of hard work. " The Bruins had lost several All-American stars from the previous year ' s squad, but from the opening match it was evident that good talent, long hours of practice, and fine coaching had produced a winning combination. In the opening w eeks of the campaign, UCLA clobbered Pepperdine and USC by scores of 13-1 and 11-0, and began to dominate the other teams in their conference. After beating the Trojans, however, the Bruins took to the road and ran into stiff up and down the Pacific Coast. In San Francisco, UCLA trailed arch-rival USF 3-1 with less than seven minutes remaining — and came roaring back to tie the game with 38 seconds left. In Irvine, the Bruins were forced into sudden-death overtime on their way to the UC Championship. And in Seattle, a squad laced with injuries overcame the best teams in the West to capture the Husky Classic Crown. After winning their conference championship, only one obstacle lay between the Bruins and a trip to the NCAA Championship tournament: the USF Dons. Playing again in San Francisco, the blue-and-gold booters eked out a 3-2 decision — a contest Storer called " the greatest victory in UCLA soccer history. " Unfortunately, the Bruins were unable to repeat the at the tournament in Miami. After the UCLA squad beat Clemson in the semi-finals, Bruin dreams of an NCAA title were ended in a heartbreaking overtime on the Orange Bowl turf. " God, it was sad, " said coach Storer. " We came so far on sheer guts and hard work. I ' ve coached a lot of teams, but this group has got to be the pluckiest I can remember. " Buy Southern Campus Rally Comm . . . (cont from page 75) " Swift risked his life for the banner, " Herczog said. An hour later negotiations for return of the banner began, and Herczog finally talked a Cal into returning the banner. under the threat of being charged with grand theft. Originally, Cal had proposed that they be allowed to keep the banner to display at their with USC the following week. Herczog refused. " I must admit, when we played USC two weeks later, and they had Cal ' s banner, I felt justice had been done, " Herczog said. There was no problem in getting students to help with the Rally Committee during the past year. " It was close to the mid-sixties as far as spirit. We never had trouble getting people to work. " Asked why he had not run for a third year as chairman, Herczog burst out in laughter. After composing himself he answered, " Let ' s just say I had two good years and didn ' t want to press my luck. " Soccer team cant each goal Send a kid to Camp By Steve Brower DB Sports Wronger First off, a tip of the DB Sport hat to Howard Posner, without whose invaluable research help, this important information never would have been transmitted to all our devoted readers. You know, it ' s funny to sit back and think about all the neglected minor sports on this campus. But what ' s sadder than a neglected sport is one which would be popular if it were more accessible. Such is the case with our crew teams. Coed Nancy McNary, one of the coxswains for the freshman crew, says that " Crew is the ultimate team sport. It takes total team unity to work. One hot person just doesn ' t do it by themself, like in other sports. All eight people in the boat must have the same goal, to make the boat go with perfection. " She goes on to explain that crew requires an incredible amount of mental concentration to provide the necessary unity. As she talked to the ace DB Sports Writer, myself, the sun glinted off her long blonde hair, and illuminated her face. This year all three of the coxswains for the freshman team were female, which is enough of a reason by itself to make crew a popular spectator sport. A minor point to consider is that our varsity and junior varsity team did not finish on top of their contests, but this doesn ' t make their hard work and long hours any less meaningful. Also according to McNary, the freshman team was the most winning in years, while the lightweights also finished exceptionally well. " What is amazing about crew is the aesthetic beauty, " McNary said. " At 6 am the sun rises and the water is just like glass. It ' s amazing just to stand and watch from the rocks at the Marina, but actually riding in the boat is too fantastic to describe. " Having gone down to investigate one cold morning we can only agree with McNary that the beauty is self-evident. (Editor ' s note: Hers or the boats? By the way, why are we always accused of being chauvinists?) Continuing, the work the members of the crew teams do should be recognized. Unfortunately, the Marina, where crew is currently located is too far for most students to travel. We propose that a good solution to this problem would be an rowing stadium. In fact, the question of a rowing stadium has been raised by enthusiasts of the sport, who have offered to pay all the expenses, according to J.D. Morgan, UCLA ' s head and part-time athletic director. " Why does such a fine team have no place on campus to call its own? " THEY ASK. It is but the lack of a home court that keeps rowing from becoming a leading spectator sport and money-earning attraction at UCLA. And because of UCLA ' s prestige in athletics, the University could find itself hosting the NCAA in rowing just as it often does in so many other sports. There are, of course, cynics who ask, " Why should the crew get a stadium before the football team gets one? " But the answer is that there is no reason why both teams cannot get a battlefield to destroy their The only necessary step is to complete Drake Stadium with special facilities for flooding the field. A mere six feet of water would be enough to float a fleet meet that could be viewed by 100,000 people in modern, luxurious seating There are many other advantages to this setup. The occasional heavy waterings would keep the grass healthy, and there would be less problems with dust. A lake in the stadium would keep it cooler on the hot days, and warmer on the The shallowness of the water would make it safer for rowers who don ' t balance their boats properly. Perhaps we could even Busch gardens to use our stadium for the annual marathon race. Finally, a flooded s tadium would provide an excellent place for failing students to drown their sorrows. There are of course those who will raise problems in regards to this proposal, but we can cross those pontoon bridges when we come to them. Phrateres Some thirty members were initiated along with outgoing officers and the new incoming board. Phrateres welcomes all new members. For information come to the Alumni Center, 226 Kerckhoff Hall. DAILY BRUIN SPORTS MAGAZINE Black — a succesS, ' 73- ' 74 TOP — Winston Henderson, Commissioner of Cultural. BOTTOM— Congressman Julian Bond, speaker, Black Women ' s Spring Forum. UCLA DAILY BRUIN 170 By Frank Stalworth The second annual Black Women ' s Spring Forum highlighted the list of activities drafted for Black students this year at the university. The forum got under way early this quarter with a lecture by Mary Jane Hewitt, professor of African Studies, Occidental College. The topic of her lecture was, " History of Black Women in America. " The Spring Forum, that reported an enrollment of over 30 students, was coordinated and taught by Mrs. Ollie Givens and Ms. Pauline Brackeen. The purpose of the course, as stated by the instructors, " was to create a more realistic picture of Black Women in American History. " Mrs. Givens stated, " Black Women have too long suffered from mis-information about her role in American History. " She wanted the class to be an " alternative for people on campus who wish to learn what the Black Woman is really all about. The class was visited by such notables as Black poet, Nikki giovonni, Glenda Wina, of KNXT News, Congressman Julian Bond. Of special special interest to Black students this year was the " Black Entertainers During this two day event, several of the country ' s leading Black actors and film makers, visited the campus and conducted workshops for the students, as well as lectures concerning the motion picture industry. Among the top names were, Jim Brown, Mac Julian (star of the movie " The Mack " ) and many other celebrities. Mansfield Collins, the director of the symposium, stated, " we hope that through this better understanding will develop between the Black actor, and the Black audience. " He felt that more understanding is needed between the two groups, the latter of which has condemned the movie industry, for mass rip-offs of the Black community, via " blaxploitation films. " Perhaps the most controversial of all the programs designed for Black students this year, or for that matter the past several years, was the " Black Film Makers Festival. " This program of a series of films, written, directed, and produced by Blacks. The films were screened both on and off campus in selected theaters, and schools throughout the Los Angeles area. The chief reason cited for the delay in funding of the festival, was a budgetary problem. The administration asserted that the proposal submitted by the coordinator of the festival, Cultural Affairs Commissioner, Winston was much too vague, and left too many questions as to exactly how students of this university would benefit from films shown in locations other than on campus, and to persons other than UCLA students. The key response given by Henderson was that this university is supported by funds and sources off campus as well as by student fees. He felt that there was a need to help bridge the gap that has existed for " too long " between campus and community factions. He felt that this gap could most effectively shortened through program- ming that reached out to benefit both campus and community populations. The films were screened over a three week period, which culminated with a final on campus showing, followed by a reception, and dance. The program was praised to be ghighly successful, from people of many different backgrounds, both from the aspect of orginality and the tremendous organization exhibited by the coordinator Winston Henderson, and the many others who participated in the affair. This has truly been the year of " quality " events for Black students at UCLA. The Black Women ' s Spring Forum, the Black Entertainers Symposium, and the Black Film Festival, were all exemplary of tremendous hard work, and dedication. If future generations of Black students were to ever be desirous of a model from which worthy ideas could be extracted to aid them in their preparation for future programs, surely the Black special interest programs of ' 73- ' 74, would prove to be perfect for the task. Throughout the many and hardships experienced on every turn, the programs, and the spirit of black students survived this past year. Perhasp only through the of brighter tomorrows; who can truthfully say. We can only reminisce of our past triumphs, and defeats as Black students, and live with the hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day. Rally Comm Highjinks Reviewed ––––––––– " The day Cal (UCB) stole the UCLA banner was the most memorable, " Rich Herczog, this year ' s chairman of the Rally Committee said. Herczog, who served as Rally Comm chairman two years in a row, recounted the hereto story of the banner theft. " After each football game, the members of the Rally Comm load a truck with the stunt cards, the banner, airhorns, and other supplies. Five or six people ride in the back of the truck to UCLA where we unload the supplies into our office, " Herczog explained. He said that after the game against California the truck was proceeding as normal. As it passed the far end of the coliseum, someone jumped out of the back. It was a couple of minutes before a long-time member, Hugh Stegman, realized that the banner had been taken. A search of the area produced no results, but the hotel at which the. Cal people were staying was identified. Two cars of Rally Comm members sped to the downtown location. As each of the Cal cars arrived, permission to search them was asked by the Rally Comm members, and was received, except in one case. Elliot Stern, next year ' s chairman, and section at the time, said, “The car belonged to one of the Cal Old Guard (members who had graduated previously, but still came to activities). They said they were too mature to be in stealing a banner, and didn ' t want to delay their dinner while waiting for us to search the car. " Rally Comm members prepared for a long stake-out of the auto by placing a car behind the suspect car to block all its exits except for one. An hour later, two Cal old guards returned to the car, and said they were leaving. Steve Swift, a vice-chairman of the UCLA Rally Comm told them he could not allow them to leave. When the Cal people began to drive away, Swift threw himself under the fron t tire of the car and lay down. (cont. on page 72) to the Editor The BGSA Dear Editor, 1973-’74 was, to be direct, a hit and miss year for BGSA. the hits outnumbered the misses. One of our biggest hits took place late in the academic year — May 24. On that evening BGSA assembled invited B lack faculty members and Black graduate students at the UCLA Faculty Center for the purpose of exchanging views, and laying the groundwork for future interactions in meeting the challenges of higher education. That was the first time such concrete moves had been made toward setting up Black faculty-student communication and and it is hoped that such interaction will be through the work of our successors. The Black graduate student community at UCLA made its greatest contribution to student government in ’73-’74, and through organized participation in student affairs made the year a banner year for elected office holders. The Fellowship Clearinghouse, a unit set up by Black graduates that researches and gathers data on existing and potential sources of financial aid to students, represents one of the service-oriented projects that has proved indespensible to the campus community. This operation was established in our " year of achievement " , ’73-’74, and should continue as long as its services are necessary. Royal Johnson BGSA President Kneeling (left to right) — Konrad Bebak, Elliot Stern, Steve Swift, Rich Herczog. Standing — Karen Johansen, Gayle Kurz, Pat Boren. Army ROTC Alive and Growing at UCLA An interview with Peter Keating, ROTC Battalion Commander disclosed " Army Reserve Officers ' Training Corps (ROTC) is alive and growing at UCLA. " According to Keating, there were approximately 55 cadets in the program this year. He stated that some people would probably be surprised to find out who some of the cadets in ROTC are. Keating also predicted optimistically, that next year ' s Bruin Battalion will number in excess of one hundred cadets. " We have six Vietnam veterans who, after serving as enlisted personnel, are going to school again, most of them as graduate students. " " They saw a challenge in the military, so now they are taking ROTC to become officers, " remarked Keating. He also said that many of the cadets are very liberal, which opposes the conventional belief that the military is super In addition, there is a good representation of minorities and female students within the program. " Some people just take the courses out of curiosity, " states Keating. " We work together to develop leaders in the battalion, this allows everyone to find their own level of participation. " The academic work features a close student-teacher relationship, with lots of discussion, participation and personal treatment. Full academic credit is received for all Military Science courses. The courses cover such topics as: Theory of Warfare; American Military History; Theory of Learning; and Military Legal Systems. Those who join as entering Freshmen take part in the four year course, and can withdraw anytime during the first two years. Those who decide to join later can attend a Summer Camp which compensates for the missed time. During their junior and senior years, cadets participate in the Advance Course, which is competitive, selective, and challenging. Cadets are chosen for the Advanced Course based on ability and leadership potential. Students selected for the advanced course must agree to complete the remaining two years of ROTC and accept a commission. They also attend an Advanced Camp for six weeks during the summer between their junior and senior years. All cadets in the Course receive $100 per academic month, plus about $350 for attendance at the Camp. In addition to academic work, cadets participate in leadership laboratory which is conducted one hour per week. During the laboratory cadets learn leadership through practical application in field exercises, drill and ceremony, and other military activities. The cadet staff drew nothing but praise from Keating who said, " Their work on such varied projects as field training exercises, the Annual Military Ball, athletic events, and activities was always of the highest quality. " Additionally, he me ntioned that the new procedure of rotating cadet staff positions at mid-year was an excellent idea as it provided more opportunities for the cadets to gain valuable experience as key staff officers. scott green ron yoshida bob crawford cliff farmie howard weber mitch ross paul nieto steve kraus daryal steer alpha tau omega dugout restaurant iso-bar lounge joe garagiola The Scorecard A statistically appetizing meal Alphabet broth (the K ' s are a specialty) accompanied by a rice paper program. Recommended for irregularity. Baseball America ' s first game. Originally cooked up for an obscure bistro by world-renowned-chef A. Doubleday. It now rates Second only to hot dogs and Cracker Jacks in the American diet. The main course of this meal, the baseball player, is hunted in the wilds of the mid-west and Kansas. However an number are raised in California on farm teams, called " universities. " Besides these " universities " California has four Congressionally protected official Baseball Preserves. So do not fret then as you take in your fill of baseball. Baseball is a protected species. Congress says so. The Home Plate One UCLA Baseball team Sawtelled in a field of NCAA. Winningly seasoned with just a touch of pepper. swedlow mike edwards The Full Count Draw a walk, or strike out with the House Specialty. The Full Count is a surprise meal — a kapok-filled stadium cushion — broiled to then partially hollowed out. What it is refilled with is a secret kept by the management and the county coroner. The Shortstop For those with major league tastes but bush league pocketbooks. Boiled glove over a bed of infield clay. The Pitcher’s Mound Not a bite to balk at. The pitchers mound is a lump of baseball card bubblegum served big-league style with a dish of resin bag crepes. (All entrees served with miniature Louisville Slugger breadsticks, pickle salad, your choice of spiked drink, and afterdinner bubblegum card treat.) Side Orders Fried Bats Ground Balls Astroturf salad Foul tips Infield Flies gary anglin venoy garrison The Tsa-Bar Lounge “Where we forecast your tastes” Mixed Drinks The and Rum Chaser Harvey Cask of Amontillado White Lightning...................Heavy Water with Uranium Swizzle Stick The Weatherman..................Flat Shampaigne Moonshine...............Tide on the Rocks (lunar) Heatwave.............................Sterno with dash of Lighter Fluid Nimbus Jiggers of Kerosene served in a glass of crushed silver iodide crystals St. Elmo ' s Acid suz rosen Why would anyone want to be President? . . . or editor or Chancellor or . . . It ' s that time of year again when finals, summer job hunting, and spring elections are almost on us all. I thought this might be a good opportunity to explore, for a moment, with those of you who are thinking about your future, some of my experiences this past year. Maybe through this brief sharing of thought, some of you may avoid the mistakes some of us in " leadership " positions have made. If you are planning to become a leader yourself, whether it is to become a coporation chief, or a magazine editor, or a chancellor, or a President, here are a few of the potential positive aspects of your leadership position from the point of view of a Student Body President. Money There is a great deal of money to be made (ripped off?) in a leadership position. Take, for instance, that position of Student Body President. For only eighty hours a week, weekends, and New Year ' s Eve, you can earn the healthy salary of $156 a month. That may cover your doctor bills after the ulcer develops and then again it may not. At any rate, there are other glories which surpass the money. Travel If you like waking at 5:30 am to catch a 7:10 flight to be in Berkeley for a 9 am meeting, then this job is for you. Sitting three across, with six briefcases and all the budgets you can read, the travel is first class. Coffee is free, the bloody Marys are a dollar. (Your own dollar since you do not have an expense account.) The return flight is even more fun. Leaving Berkeley at 4 pm, you arrive back in LA at 5, just in time to hit rush-hour on the freeways. Don ' t despair; there are far better benefits than money or travel. Fast circle of friends The job of Student Body President opens up a whole new circle of jet-setting Take the Chancellor, for On your frequent short trips to meetings in Berkeley, you can have very deep discussions on airplanes. A couple of favorite topics include Integration and Child Care. The discussion goes something like this : Him : " Integrate. " You: " No. " Him : " I ' ll dissolve Student Government. " You: " I dare you. " Him : " It ' s for your own good. Trust me, I believe sincerely it ' s the right thing to do. " You: " Talk to my lawyer. " And on and on. Stimulating? But it doesn ' t compare with Child Care, which usually follows these lines: Him : " I don ' t believe the University is in the business of day care. You: " What do you call going to class? " Him : " We need the Child Care Center site for a baseball diamond. " You: " In order for some students to get an education and other people to keep their jobs they need day care for their children. " Him : " This is a very complex issue which can only be solved by one of my shot-from-the-hip decisions; therefore, you can have a day care center if you raise coffee prices a dime to pay for it. " and so it goes . . . Fringe benefits You knew there had to be something great about this job and you ' re right. The President gets a blue X parking permit. True, you have to pay for it yourself, but you get to park anywhere on campus — you have to find a parking space to park in. That, no one can guarantee. Fan mail If you ' re going into a leadership position because you are compensating for a weak ego and you want the adoration of the crowds, then President is for you. As President you receive at least one fan letter a day and one obscene phone call a week. The contents of one of the nicest fan letters I received should be shared for your benefit. It read: Dear Ms. Rosen, if you persist in voting the way you do, I ' m going to kill you. Signed, a Student. It made my day. If you would like to know more about the positive aspects of this job or any other leadership position, please come by Hall. All of us in Student having failed all our classes and lost all our friends, are here day and night. We ' d be happy to talk to you. — Suz Rosen Panhellenic Council Standing: Secretary Lori Weisberg, Treasurer Ruth Finger, Pam Easter, Lisa Marks, Andrea Portenier, Nancy Rawding, Marianne Langford, Carol Hybl, Donna Palamar, Sue Williams. Seated: Beth Malitz, President Sue Riley. Student Legislative Council ’73–’74 Standing, left to right: Ron Sufrin, co-director, Associated Students Information Service; Sunny Wise, parliamentarian; Michael Sondheimer, reporter; Stuart Needman, administrative vice-president; Sheila Keuhl, Administration representative; Roberto Flores, financial supports commissioner; Lindsey Conner, student facilities commissioner; Elizabeth Higashi, general representative; Sam Okimoto, student welfare commissioner; David Wolf, student educational policies commissioner; Henderson, cultural affairs commissioner; Carolyn Vena, alumni representative. Seated, left to right: Larry Horwitz, general representative; Suz Rosen, president; Elaine Grahm, SLC secretary; James Powlesland, Financial Committee chairperson; Craig Andrews, general representative. Not pictured: Heidi Hilb, external affairs coordinator; John Schroeder, co-director, Associated Students Information Service; Ellen Pansky, executive assistant to president; Don Findley, historian; Val Rust, faculty representative; Lorrie Shapiro, first vice-president. Top left, Associated Students Information Service (ASIS). Top center, SLC elections. Top right, Proffessor and Course Evaluation Survey. Middle, California Public Interest Research Group (CALPIRG). Bottom right, Cultural Affairs Commission. ASUCLA Child Care Center In a crowded yard, far removed from the constant commotion of Westwood Blvd., children go about their daily business playing on swings, building sand castles, and scrambling over hobby horses. Just south of the tennis courts on Gayley Ave. is the ASUCLA Child Care Center. Providing day care for infants two months to five years old, the Center offers service to UCLA students, staff and faculty at the small fee of 90¢ per hour. Although eighty places for fulltime care are presently available at the Center, these positions are at a high premium as 400 names exist on a growing waiting list. To place an application, parents can visit the Center, or call to have an apllication mailed. The filing fee is $1. The Center has a limited scholarship fund available to pare nts, and parents may participate in Center activities in lieu of paying the fees. Opposite, Heidi Hil b, external affairs coordinator. At left, Student Judicial Board. Below, Larry (the Bear) Horwitz, general representative; Elizabeth Higashi, general representative; Rick Norris, chairperson of Students for the Educational Reform Act. The J – Board Paradox Student Judicial Board is what you might call an exercise in paradox. Every time an SJB member does his job he accomplishes two very basic things. One, he makes a group of new, albeit temporary, friends. Two, he makes a similar group of enemies. And the funny thing is, in nine cases out of ten, it matters not at all whether he has done his job well. The result is always the same. The exception to the above axiom occurs when he makes two groups of enemies. There are several schools of critical thought on the subject of Judicial Board. One holds that the Board spends much of its time hemming and hawing, deliberating beyond all necessity, and taking entirely too much time to reach conclusions. In fact, it is often afraid to reach a decision at all and pays insufficient attention to very simple concepts of public law that should naturally guide any body. The other school points out that the Board takes entirely too little time reaching decisions, has a distressing tendency to arrive at hearings with the opinions already typed up, and adopts an excessively legalistic posture — trying always to adapt complicated concepts of public law that have no business in student affairs. The ability to persevere thus becomes essential for Judicial Board members. But then, as Mark Twain pointed out: " It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races. " Alpha Delta Pi Standing: Holly Unland, Diane Hayek, Janet Kopitzke, Peggy Holdan, Sue Holiday, Debby Benson, Denise Abramson, Vera Sohni, Julie Scholar, Sandy Smiley, Jane Freeman, Peggy Klesges, Kathy Robinson, Carol Hybl, Pam Vague Middle seated: Rosalinda Campos, Diane Nebnich, Mary Anne Cantaino, Erwin Sabbath, Terry Gimenez, Eileen Shirey, Judy Kastel, Barbara Levy, Diana Martin, Debbie Kitsmiller, Cindy Warner Front seated: Rhonda Payne, Mary Van Osdel, E.V. Caldwell, Wendy Berweiller, Mary Beth Jackson, Dee Dee Thorburn, Debbie Ehrlich, Ceeste lida, Gail Mandell, Cindy Michaels, Ann Doughty, Ester Martini Not pictured: Bev Baba, Jeannie Balph, Lori Black, Patty Brown, Elaine Dikas, Michel Murrola, Verdell Hernandez, Jackie Meyer, Carla Vutt, Teddy Parker, Mane Sanders, Cathy Signer, Carol Wood, Dawn Stern Miscellany UCLA Infirmation The sun rose over the huge conglomerate with a shining-star quality that made actors in adjacent Hollywood pull down their shades in disgust. If one one ' s ears, the pitter-patter of calloused feet could be heard arriving from volkswagens and ten-speed bikes. A forest of blue jeans could be discerned as far as eye could see. Another day had begun at the Big U. But all was not well. Sitting in Psych 10, row 34, eighth seat from the left, was Judy Gee — a noted luminary of the cheerleading squad, known for her buoyant personality and discriminating expertise in the differing flavors of chewing gum. Judy ' s heart was heavy as she drew cupids in the margin of her notebook and pierced them with arrows. The professor ' s voice droning in her ears reminded her of the way giant horseflies sound before they get swatted back in Boise, Idaho. But homesickness was not what made Judy sigh heavily. Once again she drew out a well-worn letter, scented with the fragrance of hayseed, and fondly touched the places where the dribble of her gum had left imprints. Her mind recollected vividly the day she found it stuck in her gym locker. On the was her name, printed in block letters: MISS JUDY GEE. " Gee, " sighed Judy. " I wonder who my secret admirer could be. I wish I could meet him and tell him how beautifully he p rints my name. Just reading it gives me goosebumps. " The person sitting next to her told her to shut up. Judy sighed again. " You would understand if you were in love, " she told the pimply-faced-crew-cut boy with thick glasses. The boy smiled bashfully and turned red. " I do have a secret love, " he said, feeling one of his pimples. " She is a woman of great charm and sex appeal, but she is " Gee, " Judy replied. " How sad. Who is this lady? " shirley hawkins The boy struggled inwardly for a moment, as if he were unwilling to reveal his closely-kept secret, then let out her name as if it hurt to say it. " Golda Meir, " he blurted quickly. " I have pin-ups of her all over the wall of my dorm room. I have to cover her pictures at night so my roommate won ' t throw darts at her, " he said in a hurt voice. " But boy, you ought to her in a bikini. " The boy blushed again and felt his pimples excitedly. " At least you know who she is, " retorted Judy, darting him an envious look. Judy wondered if her letter was written by a male admirer from the Big U. No, the man who wrote that letter was someone of a sensitive nature; a person of extreme passion and sensitivity who recognized the ingeniousness of her cheering formations. Lecture over, Judy made her way through the sea of bodies and emerged gratefully into the fresh air. It was a nice day for walking. Spring had blossomed the flowers on the trees, and students could be observed pursuing their favorite pasttime: picking the grass and rolling papers. Judy was still sighing when she entered room at Gamma Phi Beta. Five girls were lying sprawled on the beds and lounging in their chairs. From the look on their faces it was easy to recognize that they were talking about men. " Well, if you ask me, " said Sylvia Hayes, switching her emery board to her right hand, " women have always been the smarter of the species. If it wasn ' t for women, there wouldn ' t be any men. " " That ' s right, " said Elmira Jones. " It ' s just like a man to try to brainwash a woman into making her feel inferior. I get a complex every time I walk into the Ed Psych library. All those male eyes staring me. " Elmira " I think I’ll go there after dinner . . . “Her face took on a moralistic expression: " . . . to let them know that females equally devoted to scholarly endeavors. " " I don ' t think I’ll ever married, " exclaimed Mary Schaffer. " I would get tired of looking at his face. " lauchlin Briggs, Elyse Ausmus, Linda Faris, Linda Pielemeier, kathy hudson Maurine Stemwedel, • denise Scott, Betsy Keliher, ,jo ann Duda, Denise Efflandt, daphne Carol Lopez. ROW 2 jane weber Leslie Tedrow, cindy torres Wendy Weller, valerie vlahakis Connie Petersen, lynn Deb Cooch, pam Janet Nix, Janie Sain, Donna von Diane Williams, Leslie Terri ROW 3 . Kathy Jackson, Jeannie Sandy Twiss, Michele Diana Davis, Nancy Patty Poffenroth, Wendy Teri Bennett, Janie Hildt, Luci Lundegard, Carola Montes gamma phi beta " Men, " said Lilly Stevens dreamily. " I ' m crazy about Adonis, the captain of the football team. " " Oh, he ' s a chauvinist, " said Sylvia. don ' t care, " said Lilly. " V wouldn ' t mind being his little pig. " Judy laid down her books and sat down on the rug. " Judy, why that hang-dog expression? " " Oh, " Judy sighed. " I am terribly in love with the man who wrote this letter, but I don ' t know who he is. If I don ' t find out soon, I ' m sure die of uncertainty. " Everyone agreed that it would be best to read the letter aloud for any specific clues. " It ' s a poem, " Judy sighed. Katy Katz took the letter out of the envelope and sneezed. " Why, this letter is full of dust " she exclaimed " Yes, " Judy replied, decided to leave it in the envelope since it was there when I opened it. Besides, it is appropriate to the poem. " Katy read: " Your face is . refuge from the refuse i cart; it the strewn of my heart. Your hair is much fairer than a broom or a mop; Your eyes are more vivid than the papers i drop. Your feet float like dust in the shimmering air. if love were like dust, i could show you care. " " Wow, " said Lilly, " that was so poetic. Are you sure you are stuck on this guy? " " Absolutely, " said Judy . ail y pouted in disappointment. was going to ask if I could have him. " After dinner, Katy and Judy gathered their and headed towards th e women ' s gym. Through the gathering dusk they could discern men and women bathing in the Inverted Fountain. " Streakers, " Judy whispered knowledgeably. " They were legalized last month. " " I think the women streakers are more artistic, " said Katy. " Sometimes they throw in a little bullet step or curtsey when they streak. Men are hams. And that ' s what they look Dike when they run. Hams off the rack. " The gym was empty when they entered it, but there was the comforting smell of Clorox and . They picked up their pompoms and went through their routine. Three hours Dater, their sore muscles ached all in unison. " , " moaned Katy. " Let ' s head for home. " " Wait, " said Judy. " I have to get my gym clothes. " Judy ran to her locker and was shocked to find another letter stuck between the door. Her trembled as she opened the letter. It read: Dear Judy, if you want to find out meet me at the international Student Center at 7:30 tomorrow night. Signed, Secret Admirer. 175 There was no dust this time. Judy skipped excitedly down the aisle, prancing in front of Katy and waving the letter, I ' m going to find out who he is ! " she cried. " Tomorrow. " Judy was so filled with anticipation, she felt that tomorrow would never come. Finally it did. She fidgeted through her classes. The only exciting thing happened was that the pimple-faced-crew-cut boy with thick glasses showed her his private portfolio of Golda Meir ' s cheesecake shots. At 7:00 she nervously dressed, snapping Mintpine gum and wondering if her admirer chewed. " Of course he does, " she consoled herself. Nothing offended her more than a person who declined to chew. She arrived at the ISC at 7:20 and waited nervously in the lobby, looking into every face that showed any indication of noticing her. Finally she noticed a man coming up the steps. He raised his face and faltered when he saw her, blushed, and then resolutely set his chin and opened the glass door. " How do you do? " he said nervously, shaking Judy ' s hand as if he would never let go. " My name is Monroe Maintenance. I am your secret admirer. " " Oh! " said Judy. " How I have been wanting to meet you. " Monroe resembled a direct cross between Bill Walton and Toulouse Lautrec. Not only was he handsome, but he had a cute habit of kicking trashcans. He was dressed in knickerbockers and a cutaway coat and for both parties it was love at first sight. Monroe sniffed the air. " I think I smell Mintpine gum. " " Yes, I ' m chewing it, " snapped Judy excitedly. " Shall we sit down? " asked Mr. Monroe Maintenance. They entered the Potpourri room and sat at a table near the piano. " I know you have been wondering who I was, " said Monroe apologetically. the fact is, I was too afraid to approach you. It took a lot of courage to write that first poem. I was sure you wouldn ' t like it, But I did it anyway. " " Oh gee, " said Judy. " It was beautiful. " They stared intensely at each other for a few seconds, feeling their wavelengths embracing and creating electricity. " The dust was just a little touch I thought was appropriate. Did you like it? " " Oh yes, " cried Judy, " so symbolic! " " Well, you ' re probably wondering what I do. I ' m a traveling janitor in the department. " Judy thought her feelings out and decided maintenance was a good profession for a man. With a spic- and-span attitude and clean disposition, he could easily go to the top of the heap. And that was exactly what Monroe Maintenance had in mind. " My family has been in the maintenance business for generations. It just runs in the family. My great grandfather cleaned the private chambers of J. Edgar Hoover. He was arrested and sent to jail. My brother emptied wastebaskets for the president of a major oil company. He lost that job when his car ran out of gas. My father a janitor in Nixon ' s personal chambers. He was in on the big secrets going on at the White House. Why, Nixon asked him personally to throw away some old tapes for him. " " What was on them? " " My father never found out. Nixon told him it was his singing rendition of ' Down by the Old Mill Stream. ' He said when he listened to it, it gave him nightmares. After that incident Dad was fired. It was quite a blow to his self-esteem. " Monroe deftly kicked the nearest trashcan. " That ' s too bad, " said Judy. " I ' m the black sheep of the family because I didn ' t go into politics. I started out doing barmitzvahs and I worked my way up to college maintenance in order to be in a atmosphere. It really has helped. Why, the air is filled with knowledge, all you do is breathe it in, like dust. " Judy ' s eyes twinkled in the knowledge that she had finally found the man of her dreams. He was intelligent, clean, and a bullseye with trashcans. And he liked Mintpine gum. Monroe found Judy to have every virtue a woman could have. She talked eloquently in monosyllables and did some damn good cartwheels. So they decided to elope. Monroe walked Judy home and told her he would be back in the wee hours of the morning with a ladder and his ' 47 Studebaker. They decided to honeymoon in Waco, Texas. Judy was alone in Gamma Phi Beta for almost an hour before the doorbell rang. Judy opened it and all of the girls tumbled in, breathless and ecstatic. " Guess where we ' ve been? " said Sylvia, looking like a maniac. " Where? " asked Judy. " On a jockey shorts raid! " they in unison. They held up shorts of every size and shape. Some were dingy and unwashed, others brand new. There wore polka-dotted ones, pink ones, green ones, and one. The girls pranced around waving them like banners. " We stole ' em after the guys had all left for their Male Chauvinist meeting. They ' ll never know what hit them! " crowed Elmira. " Oh yes they will! " chirped Lilly. " They ' ll feel a terrible draft " They all trooped upstairs, planning their next strategic attack. Much later, Judy slipped out of bed and filled her little overnight bag with the necessities for her trip. She was sorry to leave all her friends, but she was resolute in her decision to stay by Monroe ' s side. She wrote a little note which she hoped would make amends: Dear Gamma Phi Beta, I have eloped with the man of my dreams. Judy. Katy was the first to awake. The draft from the window had given her a terrible nightmare. She dreamed someone had stolen all her jockey shorts. Everyone gathered together to read the note. " Well, there go my priority tickets for the football games, " sighed Lilly. It was three months before they heard from the lucky bride and groom. Judy wrote: Gee, I am so happy. Monroe had a job in a dairy here in Boise and I teach cheerleading classes at Idaho U. I miss you all and send you my love. Don ' t do anything I wouldn ' t do. Love, Judy. As a belated wedding present, Gamma Phi sent Monroe several pairs of dingy, unwashed, polka-dotted, pink and moth-eaten jockey shorts, and air-mailed Judy a well-worn copy of The Female Eunuch. An Uklanik Red Is Better Off Fed By Debbie Jacobson In the caverns of Woodwest an Uklanik red Was kicking and screaming, " I want to be fed! " " I want to be fed! " He wailed and he raged, And he yanked and he pulled on the door of his cage. Then all of a sudden the cage door swung wide. The Uklanik gleefully ran right outside. " I am free to explore! The first thing I ' ll do — I will look and will see, who is who in this zoo! " " The zoo must be filled up with wondrous things: Wipnerts with webbed feet and wodkins with wings. And maybe, just maybe, a zaftig that sings. Yes, fabulous, nebulous, marvelous things! " Without hesitation he sped out the door To new parts of the zoo that he wished to explore. Down through the stairwell, up through the hall. " What is this I see? Hollowed holes in that wall? The Land of the Tooth " The walls are all dotted with holes and more holes. The holes all have signs hung from dental floss poles. " A sign was next to a water-picked booth. It read in big letters: The Land of the Tooth. Moletooths and Ayetooths were scrambling around, Running so fast that they hardly touched ground, Looking to hide out and never be found. After them yellowing Denties were racing. Breathless and panting from hours of chasing, " We just want to fill you, " a poor Dentie cried. " It will not take long if you just open wide. " " We are going to catch you wherever you venture. You are destined to be part of somebody ' s denture! " Nets fell and traps snapped around Uklanik. He stepped on gummed paper and started to stick. " I had better escape — they may capture me, too! Then I could not go see who is who in this zoo! " Uklanik turned and ran down the stairs. He emerged in a square that was in the fresh air. In the Court of Sciences " It is terribly bare, out here in this square, " Uklanik thought as he stared and he stared. Then a box hit the Uklanik on his real head. It hit him so hard that he thought it was lead. " What is happening here? " Uklanik wondered. " Eggs are falling around me by tens and by hundreds! " Eggs packed in cotton and cardboard containers; In styrofoam boxes and padded dishdrainers; In newspaper pouches and old laundry bags; Hitting the pavement and rolling in crags. Some bounced on the ground and hatched in the sun. Clukluks popped out and started to run. They ran to a hen who was standing and crying While she saw egglets on paper planes, flying! Uklanik stood inn a scrambled egg ocean, As eggs flew around in centrifugal motion. For most eggs went splattering when they came down, Spotting the ground as they fell all around. A voice cried " The winner in this year ' s egg game Is the same as for last year, you all know his name: The greatest egg dropper in this whole zoo land, Your friend and mine — the amazing Fourtran. " " He fastened his egg to a flying machine. It sailed through the air, and landed quite clean. Paper planes are the answer, and we all must try! So up to the rooftops — we will all try to fly! " All of a sudden the square was not bare: Curious animals dashed here and there. Cuboids and Rhomboids and ink-spotted IBM ' s, Computer-punched Codlets with tails like long ribbons. Green lights were flashing and red lights were blinking, Sirens were sounding, alarm clocks were ticking. Dozens of planes in a cloud very thick Came in formation at scared Uklanik! " If all those planes find me, oh, what will I do! I had better go find a new part of this zoo. " He ducked behind hedges until he felt safe. Then, a few moments later, he made his escape. Fat, Flipping Floopoos " I thin I hear splashing, " Uklanik said, " Or else I have plumbing inside of my head. So if I just follow these spots those dots make, Perhaps they will lead me straight up to a lake. " He followed those droplets up hill and down dale. He searched and he searched for a pool or a pail. " I cannot find water, my fine mood is dimming. I wish to see somebody diving and swimming. " Uklanik slipped and was sprayed by a splash. As he sat dripping wet, he heard a big crash. The noise came from nearby — a few yards beyond, The splashing and crashing came from a big pond. Uklanik jumped up and ran towards the noise. His teeth were all smiling. He leaped up with joy. " I knew I would find them! I knew it, I knew! The watered, wet, wrinkled Floopoos of the zoo! " Some of the floopoos dove in a straight line, First heads and then feet, they landed quite fine. Twisti ng and turning in doubles and triples, Hitting the water without any ripples. A jackknife, a somersault, back flip and swan. swimming the length of the " I can watch them all day, if they go on and on. Yes, I like to sit watching beside this nice pond. " But others were one after another, Each of them landing on top of his brother. Leaping into the air, spinning just like a top, Coming down like an arrow — to land with a flop. They flopped on their back, they flopped on their belly. The pond water shook like some Glizzberry jelly. They flopped like some Ghangeefish out of New Delhi. One floopoo stood by with a whistle in hand, Blowing short blasts as the diving command. " Do not flop, you fat floopoos! " he cried in dismay. " You will all get it right — if it takes you all day! You floopoos that have it, you do not have to stay. " The Grick Way Uklanik dozed beside the wide pond, Dreaming away about zoos far beyond. Suddenly hot winds ripped through the trees And Uklanik woke with a startling sneeze. He followed the current to find a commotion. An amazing debate was well under motion. Zeeplips and Gopnerds and Demkrads and Roxes Squawked and talked from footstools and boxes. A Gopnerd was shouting above all the rest, Proclaiming solutions with zing and with zest. He banged with his scepter and called for a king. " This zoo needs a monarch! A King is the thing! " It would end unemployment by filling my court. You could all earn fine wages by building my fort. The Zeelips could learn to be fabulous cooks And knights in shined armor can fill castle nooks! " " I will sit on my throne and our anthem I ' ll sing " " Oh, yes, bless the day you elected me king ' ! " " No! No! " cried the Demkrads. " We will not be ruled. With only a king we are sure to be fooled. We need legislators to make laws and bills. They may drown in paper, but they ' ll cure our ills. " The commotion grew louder, no party agreed. Some wanted dictators, some cried to be freed, And some said anarchy is just what we need. The Uklanik turned and saw picket lines. The Gricks of the zoo were all carrying signs. Alfazie-Deltas quickly marched into sight, Flanked by their brothers on both left and right. Their slogan came ringing out loudly and hearty: " Let ' s stop all this fighting and have one big party. We will work to make our zoo really first rate, For our zoo will be happy, yes, it will be great. " " What a brilliant solution: a one-party zoo, " The Uklanik cried, " I will march with them, too! " The y marched down the sidewalks, a Grick led the way. Then Uklanik thought, " I was not fed today! " For while passing Woodwest his big stomach rumbled. Because it was empty, it grumbled and grumbled. To return, he decided, was what he would do — " For if I don ' t eat I will start turning blue! On another fine day I will start out anew To look and to see who is who in this zoo! " ALPHA XI DELTA Pat Baker, Sharon Browne, Barbie Butler, Cathy Mariane Hardenbrook, Peggy Hardenbrook, Kay Huntsinger, Mary Larkin, Sandy Malloy, Cindy Minton, Lynn Richards, Janet Kathy Rose, Sharon Stanberry, Linda Yamauchi, Vickie Zomar. Fielding Q. Smellish Student Body President The always manage to snake through any pipe and this year was no exception. Our student council wormed it ' s way to top of Milhouse Hi ' s tradition of backbiting opportunism. Fielding Qu. Smellish, managed to blackmail the football coach, coach ' Pete ' on a charge in with the Drama coach Mr. J. Phyllis. This move opened the for Smellish ' s rule. We all join in Milhouse ' s Hi pleasure this new triumph in connivery and Truly an not soon Smellish certainly got kudos from all when he and Spartan group of unmasked the oleo margarine plot of Miss Virginia Kwang who in addition to being the Student councils ' advisor doubles as a Home Wrec teacher. Anyhow, it was that she had been stealing clarified oleo and hiding it under seat of her Mercury. When the snows melted so 47 lbs. margarine an oleo slick on Avenue. After every was cleaned up on the Smellish brought Kwang before the accusing her of negligence and bungling a She was thereby for bring to the name of Millhouse Hi. Miss Virginia Kwang Student Council Advisor (and oleo-scarf) Most Likely to Succeed Bessy Ann Riblett Bessy Anne is Graduating this year and plans to attend UCLA in the fall. Lucky girl! She does not know what her major will be yet. But she did give us this little rh yme as a hint: It ' s great to read Plato, Indeed Magnificent. But without shorthand! You won ' t be beneficent. So You Want to Be a Plumber? Our grads get the best jobs money can buy. They ' re most talked about in their fields. They ' ve got the walk and the talk of executive privilege. Yes, A lot of great guys (gals too) have passed democratically from these wolfbane covered walls into the great gerrymandered beyond. So if you ' ve got senioritis, no place to go, nothing to do, drop in and check our files. We think you ' ll agree that we ' ve got the best running tap of unimpeachable employment opportunities this side of Tammany Hall. SPORTS The Plumbers experienced a fine Year ' s season of Amoeba League play they experienced. Many good players participated on the track, rowing, football and tennis team. The PLUMBERS " wrenched " loose many a league Championship. " When the going gets tough, the tough get going. " So says Coach Pete. Rubba dub dub, two Sticks and stones may hurt Coach Pete Checkers, anyone! SCHOOL LIFE Activities at Millhouse this year took in all the old standbys; locker breakins, inter-office phone wiretaps, term paper forgeries, and the like. Highlite of the year was the Jr. Sr. Prom, whose theme, " Springtime for Millhouse, " was a polled favorite. Lowlite of the year was the Sr. play, " Electra becomes Mourning, " which was hastily cancelled because of the energy crisis. Sigma Nu Fraternity BACK ROW: Scott Gayner, Rusty Turner, Gary Collister, Ron Martin, Mark Wilkins, Gregg Miedel, Mark Winsel, Dana Jordan, Bernie Vogel, Craig Cornwall, Scott Sturgis, Steve Dean, Skip Barchan, Pat Dunne. 2nd Row: Blake Woodward, Derek Derdivanis, John Puni, Chris Lucas, Ken Eastman, Mike Losey, Dan Galindau, Al Schulten, Andy Harrah, Rick Young, Kent Derdivanis. Front Section: Dave Clarke, Jack Coe, Bruce Bothwell, Jay Stanley, Rick Runcle, Bob Burdge, Meade Campe, Greg Pechia, Brent Liljestrom, Rudy Nieto, Chris Patton, Scott Bowhay, Dave Clauson, Al Pulsifer, Larry Zamora, Brian Livingston, Don Little, Al Rye, Rick Bocci, Dan Willens, Paul Meyer, Steve Lada, Sam Nicholson, Dean Riskas, Bruce Brodie, Doug Kroyer, Gary Frankiel, Greg Johnson, Rob Duncanson, Pete Parmenter, Ron Jurgensen, Rod Carey, Jim Riskas, Jim Wojciechowski, Jon Zaich, Doug Kaewert, Mitch White, Mark Hunter, Andy Bergh, Dan Guidera, Tom Tarnowski, Mike Perry, Jim Riley. Not Pictured: Dan Bayerd, Mark Bingham, Dave Colton, Craig Deane, Bob Dischner, Rich Docherty, Kent Ellis, Jim Lutz, Jeff McCarthy, Bob Michel, Bruce Overton, Gary Steele, Tom Tabor, Dave John Nelson. Alpha Gamma Omega Alpha Gamma Omega, a Christ-centered national social Fraternity, conclusively proves that life as a Christian is not dull. AGO was founded on the UCLA campus in 1927 and is unique among the fraternal organizations here. They endeavor to present themselves as a social fraternity seeking to follow and serve the Lord, Jesus Christ. AGO provides its members with a well-rounded social calendar of fun and edifying events with their Little Sisters of Maranatha and Alpha Delta Chi, their sister sorority. In addition, they have Bible studies, prayer breakfasts, and guest speakers to aid in the spiritual growth of the brothers. They seek to minister to the needs of those both inside and outside the house. They fill contemporary needs while retaining fraternity traditions of the past. Top (L to R) Marty Stephens Dave Fredrickson Dave Atkinson Mike Blyth Middle (L to R) Tim Brewer Bruce Byers Mike Arehart Paul Reist Kent Malone Zim Zimmerman Walter Snell (L to R) Hugh Goddard Jay Hargis Mike Cochrane Paul Todhunter Realites A collection of student and faculty photography Carl David Richard Becker Carl David Richard Becker Carl David Eric Mansker Martin November Eric Mansker Ed Ormand Richard Becker Eric Mansker Ed Ormand Richard Becker Carl David chi omega Back row: Sue Hoover, Heidi Letho, Kathleen Skillman, Carolyn Kent, Dana Lucy Whitcomb, Anna Gunn, Sue Sharpe. Third row: Nancy Schreiner, Mercy Gonzalez, Heather Ogilvie, Robbie Cantley, Cindy Hohle, Sheri Van Matre, Sue Bryson, Geri Molina, Laurie Jenks, Jennifer Walsh. Second row: Maureen Rager, Linda Carpenter, Jane Donlon, Anne Oshier, Beverley Hanes, Debbie Collinson, Laura Yetter, Janet Hansen, Michelle Hurtbise, Liz King, Helen Mann, Barbara Kent, Andrea Resnick, Kate Supple, Gail Kreutzmann, Robbin Smith, Janice Bickel, Laura Ressler. First row (seated): Patti Raucot, Greta Bogner, Julie Hobbs, Donna Bruhn, Marilyn Sweetnam, Marti Smith. Not pictured: Teri Bargelt, Rosemary Black, Debbie Cucak, Laurie Desmond, Maraa Fresh, Toni Griggs, Patrice Hogar, Jani Lundburg, Laura Naslund, Julie Pithey, Judi Sand. alpha epsilon pi Standing, left to right: Peter Schulman, Harry Ahn, Glenn Huans, Max Metz, Bill Bob Borden, Seth Olitzky, Ricc Bieber. On the surfboard: Michele Saunders. Three girls standing, left to right: Rose Fein, Sherrie Morris, Cheryl Hirschman. Sitting, left to right: Wendy Brock, Mark Hopkins, Rich Ito, Martin von Mizener, Jose Ruiz, Evelyn Zweis, Nancy Meiers. sculpture garden Any conscientious visitor to Southern California will find time to tour Disneyland, Knott ' s Berry Farm, the Movieland Wax Museum, and UCLA. The student ' s eye may have become jaundiced by years of submersion — or, as some would have it, subversion — in the ever-glorious sights, sounds and smells of the Westwood campus. But to the newcomer UCLA deservedly ranks as one of the wonders of the West. Unfortunately, most tourists chance upon the campus during summer months or winter break, when its true beauty is basically dormant. Unlike most vacation spots, this is no place to visit in off-season. summer madness But during the summer months there are still various avenues of exploration open to the campus visitor. Aside from beautifully tended lawns, there is the world-renowned Franklin D. Murphy sculpture garden to be visited. No charge here except for your car, which must be left at the edge of campus (for a small fee). Hiking boots recommended for this sprawling scene. When in the sculpture garden (named for a former chancellor of the University of California) be sure to view the world ' s greatest " mother " statue — it ' s X-rated. If you have children with you, they ' ll especially enjoy trying to impale one another on the garden ' s giant metal windmill. There are always lovers abounding and bounding in the garden. Those who call Paris the city of lovers have never seen the amatory scenes here. administration Probably the most office on campus comes under this catch-all heading. The main starting (and eventual ending) place for this tour is located in Murphy Hall. While much of the campus administration deals with the farther-flung areas and buildings of UCLA, most policy decisions and nearly all information is generated from somewhere within the bowels of this north campus edifice. While students often complain about administrative foul-ups and occasional inefficiencies, not many of them are aware of the immense diversity of the campus administration ' s activities and interest. The scope of the administration begins even before a student begins his attendance of UCLA. He is invited to an orientation day where much of the nature and wonder of the school ' s bureaucracy and its services are shown to him. Obviously, both the services and problems of the administration of a major university campus encompass a great deal. Just keep in mind that Murphy Hall is the key, and for a more personalized, detailed tour, ask at the information window. Chancellor Young deals with students A typical UCLA student will experience the long arm of the administrative presence when he deals with such diverse problems as: housing — should he choose to live in the high-rise luxury of the university dorms (which offer him a semi-private room, semi-private showers, and almost three meals a day at only a few dollars a month more than an apartment student health — a really inexpensive service for the student. Unfortunately the wait is often quite long. People with a short-term virus have time to recover spontaneously and really contagious disease s will have time to infect all others in the waiting area parking permits — pity the poor student who has to buck morning traffic, gasoline shortages and then has to pray there will still be a space somewhere within a five mile radius of campus. So please, as a tourist, park on one of the special lots open to visitors (otherwise you risk a fine). Never borrow a student ' s pass or you and the student will be introduced to the administration ' s lesser-loved duty of discipline. eateries Many of the world ' s most visited cities are not known for their fine food. London and Las Vegas are two examples. Like them, UCLA has other fine points. But even in London, Las Vegas or UCLA one must eat. Costwise, the food on campus is reasonable in relation to the prices charged by most of the local off-campus restaurants. For a budget-minded student with a half-hour break between classes, it ' s shell out or starve. And, as budget-minded tourists, we shall do the same. The fare is basically alike school-wide. Hamburgers, salad sandwiches (mayonnaise with a bit of tuna, chicken, turkey, etc.), Mexican food . . . hot or cold? One of your major decisions will be whether you ' d like a hot or cold meal. For a hot meal, choose from the selection in one of many vending machines — heat it in a microwave oven (preferably one that ' s currently operable). For a cold meal, get in the cafeteria line and choose a hot plate. By the time you pay and find a place to sit — VOILA! — a delicious cold meal. lines Once the campus tourist exposed to the school ' s eateries, he then learns about another of major attractions — lining A prime time for watchers would be choreography of the registration and the first week of classes. ackerman union on all levels Ackerman Union presents several prime examples. On " B " level, one can see students scramble for books and a place in line to pay. On level " A " there is the now-famous food line offered by the Coop. Level " 1 " features the Treehouse, with more traditional cafeteria lines. But the greatest treat awaits one on Level " 2 " in the Grand Ballroom, where visitors can see UCLA ' s sit-down computer line. the computer It is here that the student awaits transistorized knighthood — though often he faces computer breakdown from modern man ' s version of the iron mistress. This necessitates waiting in another line — at an instructor ' s office, begging. other attractions Other not-to-be-missed line attractions include the student health center waiting room (dealt with further under " Administration " ), the dinner line in any of the four university dorms, the men ' s and women ' s bathroom lines in Ackerman or Kerckhoff Hall around noon and (a student favorite) the " A " window (grades, in Murphy Hall. Some tourists may the (or to ALL lines. simplify choice, have assembled a of (estimated waiting time) applicable to hour in season. queue-tips LINE EWT (in hours) COOP (table-finding .50 time extra) STUDENTS ' STORE (book dept. only — figures .47 for other dept. ' s n a) TREEHOUSE (salad sandwich .52 lines — figures for other lines n a) Star Attraction THE COMPUTER 4.00 together What with the rise of the women ' s liberation movement, it was inevitable that the UCLA Communications Board would be convinced of the necessity of a newspaper for the " better half " of the campus population. Established late in the last academic year, this was TOGETHER ' s first full year of publication. And if adversity breeds strength, TOGETHER may well have gained the strength of thousands. To get a rough idea of the troubles which beset the paper ' s staffers, we that each traveler pay a visit to the TOGETHER office. If you can find it. Despite queries to many, it has never been clearly established just where in Kerckhoff Hall the staff resides. Perhaps it would be simpler if you found the HA ' AM office (UCLA ' s Jewish students ' newspaper). Upon your arrival there, step back into what you thought was the hallway — and you ' ve arrived at TOGETHER. TOGETHER To make certain that you have arrived at the right office, use this handy sightseeing checklist: does the only open window have bars on it? are there typewriters, seven of them inoperable? do the HA ' AM staff ' s bicycles block the entrance to the office? parents This final special tour is not available to the common campus v isitor. It is available only for those aficionados whose offspring either attend or plan to attend UCLA. what price insanity? The relationship between a university student and his parents is unique. While technically adults and often living away from home, many students are still completely or partially supported by their parents. This often creates conflicts between parental demands and student needs resulting in parental insanity. However difficult these problems may be to deal with, it is recommended that parents keep their tempers and refrain from threatening students with a cut-off of funds, hair, tongue, etc. Eventually there will be mutual understanding and empathy, even if it occurs twenty years from now when your grandchild enters UCLA. It is also suggested that you retain this handy guide, to be given to your son or daughter at that time. Should your son or daughter become a UCLA student, you should be prepared to deal with any or all of the following dilemmas: 1) receiving an " emergency " letter or phone call (collect and after weeks of non-communication) expressing the dire need for money 2) getting a large package (postage due) containing the last two months dirty laundry 3) your offspring has attended UCLA for seven years and you have no idea as to his major, his grades, or when he will graduate 4) sudden visits by your college student immediately followed by the emptying of your refrigerator, freezer and wallet 5) total shock at seeing your clean-cut high school senior become a long-haired, barefoot, foul-mouthed, disrespectful UCLA freshman. How to go to the Rosebowl Start Enroll at UCLA Do you like food poisoning yes Move into Dorms Figure shortest route to shower room Compute trajectory for bombing people below room Purchase hood Expose yourself to the Tri Delts Delta Delta Delta 1. Robin Baker 2. Vicki Vicino 3. Jody Schwarz 4. Gerel Guthrie 5. Lix Prichard 6. Ginger deLormier 7. Vicki Fink 8. Karen Gilroy 9. Barbara Sirola 10. Lori Gaudin 11. Janet Barels 12. Maggie Stuart 13. Karen Ruxton 14. Lisa Kistler 15. Ellen Graf 16. Kathy Kerr 17. Carolee Shepphird 18. Sheri Deems 19. Karen List 20. Debbie Wyman 21. Lori Ousman 22. Annie Maclntyre 23. Nan Martin 24. Ellen Lewis 25. Marcia Bankes 26. Joni Izu 27. Karen Shearer 28. Cindy Chalson 29. Jo Ballain 30. Debbie Vrabel 31. Mrs. Guischard 32. Connie Robinson 33. Jody Steiner 34. Sally Menke 35. Jill Flanagan 36. Janet Andrews 37. Ginny Oliphant 38. Carla Smith 39. Stephanie Spindler 40. Linda McAdams 41. Debbi Hamm 42. Louise Egolf 43. Deborah Ehlers 44. Jane Bennett 45. Emma Guerrero 46. Val Reasoner 47. April Knapp 48. Marilyn Hopkins NOT PICTURED Gail Neff Pam Gutman Tina Cole Stina Harboe Lonnie Benham Cathee Fields Vicky Hammond Laura LaHaye Cindy Maiers Debbie Meyer Mona Osborn Laura Tennenberg Sally Walters Nanci Fingerhood Pam Lance Receive guided tour of UPD station Do you want to go to football games yes Want a date for the game yes Visit Alpha Chi Omega Figure way to Coliseum Observe computer traffic signs giving wrong directions Alpha Chi Omega Bottom, left to right: Diane Chooljian Debbie Walker Debbi Pendleton Bonnie Bloeser Karen Lee Ruth Finger Amy Mayhew Virginia Frise Stephanie Forbes Kathy Faisant Not pictured: Chris Campbell Mary Charlotte Chandler Dana Keeton Diane Randolph Wendi Solinger Jo Brinkman Carmen Castillo Diane Dodson Anne Saunders Linda Schletter Debbie Yetto Julie Brown Lione Chow Mary Collins Lynn Martin Jane Obedowski Vicki Robbins Tina Undermark Middle, left to right: Denise Miller Carol Schriver Debbie Degroot Debee Hyman Debbie Bowen Terri DeMent Kathy McNamara Anne Teaford Irene Honda Robin Abbitt Top, left to right: Kenis McGough Judy Ortner Janet Payne Laurie Haskins Debbie Peters Suzana Cooper Nancy Caton Stephanie Wong Lynda Brosius Georgia Michell Sharon Burke Gail Jones Jill Johnson Pat McMehon Are you 2 hours before game time yes Prepare oxygen equipment for high altitude seating Make sure ushers do not see hidden flask of Boones Farm Are you in fine-looking women doing precision routines no yes Watch song girls Watch the mascot Is SC the deciding game for Rose Bowl yes Do you really want to go to Rose Bowl yes Transfer to SC STOP Teach kids the Seventies were Signs reverse to blanks . . . write your own slogan It ' s so easy to order by phone like with our new Confrontation ® collection of toys ● made to same scale as GI Joe® for added convenience, realism ● “Radicals " have TRIMable™ hair . . . convert to " UPD " with jus t a change of uniform ● available in silent or talking versions; batteries not included 1 Basic Radical. Wears jeans, faded blue workshirt, sandals (not shoes as shown). Sign, leaflets included. Versatile: serves as good guy (idealistic student) or bad guy (dirty Commie) without change of outfit. 761951 $208.50 2 Talking Radical. Same as (1), above, but really talks. Just pull the string to hear any of seven radical slogans: " Nazi butcher, " " Stop the Violence Center, " and five more. 7271952 $227 3 Radical Girlfriend. Available in liberated (loose bra) and sex-object (tight t-shirt, no bra) Wears faded jeans, sandals (not shoes as shown) to match Basic Radical. As versatile as her boyfriend. Sign, leaflets included. 2211953 —Liberated $208.50 2211954 —Sex object $208.50 4 Talking Radical Girlfriend. Like (3), but repeats whatever (2) says. 3171950— Liberated $227.00 3171951— Sex object $227.00 5 Basic UPD. Wears uniform complete with authentic patches. Riot helmet, riot stick included. Versatile: serves as good guy (new centurion) or bad guy (fascist pig) as needed. 611966 $208.50 6 Talking UPD. Same as (5), above, but really talks. Just pull the string to hear any of seven basic crowd directives: " Move along, " " Break it up, " and five more. 611970 $227 Issues for confrontations sold separately. See our Big Book for details. Seers Best Theta Xi (1 thru 25) Seers Best Fraternity. Enjoy them as a set or as individuals. Guaranteed no two exactly alike. (1) 84735 588 — Paul Thompson (2) 01436 730 — Bill Allen (3) 63620 400 — Dave Palmer (4) 12363 402 — Gary Carini (5) — Puredi (Moose) Hillary (6) 19027 701 — Roger Desforges (7) 88852 856 — Johnnie Washington (8) 27166 631 — Dan Garcia (9) 27043 228 — Terry Galloway (10) 64642 047 — Dick Pelascini (11) 12598 071 — Christopher Carpenter (12) 21689 174 — Mike Ehret (13) — John Helt (14) 32747 880 — Bart Halberstadt (15) 37860 200 — Larry (the Bear) Horwitz (16) 63515 624 — Mike Paietta (17) 59561 083 — Bill Murphy (18) 90878 704 — Craig Whitten (19) 47997 424 — Gene Leary (20) 17466 500 — Gary Dahmen (21) 17602 809 — Lance Danell (22) 74948 106 — Steve Schwartz (23) 44202 930 — Steve King (24) 40380 478 — Keith Jennings (25) 45635 896 — Ned Krabacher Not shown. 13861 611 — Richard Chew — Juan Felan 27444 780 — Lupe Garza 36354 543 — Frank Hinds 55265 920 — Mark McKee — Bernie Michael 58867 766 — Martin Morrissey — Mark Spiro 87495 461 — Tom Villa Student apartments . . . three ways better than dorms bigger rooms mean more space better food means more company for dinner higher rents mean poorer parents 1. Bachelor Pad. Carpeted. Furniture, pictures, stereo, heat, power, water not included. Prime location: too far from campus to walk, too close for parking permit to be issued. One size fits 2 to 4 students. 490548459 $275 month 2. Bachelorette Pad. Same as (1) on facing page, but may be furnished with Hope Chest items as well as mother ' s cast-offs. Should be kept cleaner than (1), since practice in homemaking skills is essential. 665620 $275 month Delta Zeta (1 thru 9) Seers Best Sorority. Small but select group from our exclusive Panhellenic collection. (1) 69085 749 — Carmen Rexach (6) 92739 000 — Paula Woods (2) 69301 488 — Susan Rice (7) 66645 520 — Vickie Porto (3) 00459 426 — Debra Adams (8) 19659 100 — Deirdre Dixon (4) 86620 027 — Janet Ungaro (9) 16725 266 — Debbie Crandall (5) 35707 296 — Nancy Hermann Campus Studio (10 thru 15) Campus Studio. Professionals. Not to be confused with Southern Campus photographers or editors. Available year round in Kerckhoff 150. (10) Terry O ' Donnell (13) Stan Troutman (11) Norman Schindler (14) Karen Birkenes (12) (15) Waly Vilenica A " bear " necessity for the holiday season . . Winnie-the-Pooh® Mardi Gras ' favorite personality bares her true identity. You, too, will lose your head over this adorable Pooh costume. Eyes open and close; ears wiggle. Honey not included. Maximum fabric shrinkage 2%. Dry clean only. 481949 $160,000 Up and down at UCLA Lyrics by James Walsh SIDE ONE Elevator Class SAE Small Cell SIDE TWO The Come-Ag Only-Once Days Gone Smile Songbook UP and down at UCLA ELEVATOR You are herded into the metal box The steel doors slam shut behind you Someone the button for your floor You push it just to be sure Then you stand there in the small by the illuminating As they tell you how high you are going And they are showing you are at. You are to a stop and three More people get in. And it you higher. Why must it be so damn slow? The numbers keep at an uneven rate (I think it stops at every floor) More people get on More get off. And higher and higher you get It finally stops for you So you fight way out the crowd For it ' s as high as you want to go And so you ' ve escaped from The elevator Until it takes you down again Oh, if I could only get Down again. Someone will put me Down again Soon I ' ll be Down again Oh . . . down again. OVER Well, it ' s over It ' s all over now It ' s all been Said and done All over now. They overwhelm him With questions In heartless doubt How did we do? Is all they want to Find out. But a small frail hand Tugs at his shirt He turns: " Thank you. " CLASS Hiding behind a lectern You stand so far away. I sit here alone below Writing down what you say. There are so many of us Hundreds listening to you. Some asleep, some just staring, What else can we do? My mind begins to wander And I ' m so far from here Sailing in the West Indies, In Australia sipping a beer. We really don ' t care About the things you teach. They ' re just unreal questions To answers we ' ll never reach. We are tested for what we know But we don ' t know a thing. So we sit and ask each other, What will the future bring? SAE A record year Row 1 (bottom) Mark Morze, Ken Pickle, Kevin Biswell. Row 2 Rob Clarke, Bob Thackery, Tom Rich Ford, Mark Solich, Robert Welch, Briggs Shade. Row 3 Bill Leonard, Todd Grubin, Parker, Bob Withers, Bruce Lahr, Tim Row 4 Dave Jack, Greg Smith, Bob Sinclair, Jed Robinson. Row 5 Brad Anderson, Ed Efron, Gary Whitley, Woody Walker, Phil young, Rex Favero. Row 6 Tim McDonnell, Chuck Locko, Rod Clark, Dusty Kublins, Dick Cook, Steve Hill. Row 7 Jim Hamilton, John Finkenberg, Larry Rayl, Jerry Solomon, James Cates, Ky Larson, Rich Bowen, Rick Clark. Row 8 Jim George, Jack Bowen, Tim McDonnell, Rick Stephen, Bob Berry, Don Dierro, Tracy Green. SMALL CELL I have to call you, babe I have to hear your voice But I don ' t want to. I can ' t bear to hear The things you ' ll say For you ' ll talk forever. Three minutes is all I can take Then I ' ll say good-bye. I step into the phone booth And close the door to this cage The light comes on So I can see where to put My last dime. I dial the number I try to forget It rings and you answer And there you speak in tears. Three minutes have come and gone Where ' s the operator? Am I trapped? I have to get out of here But I can ' t, I can ' t. This phone booth is a prison cell And you are my jailer. Please let me go. ... SEE YOU AGAIN Oh, it ' s been such a long time since we saw each other last I can hardly even remember; My how the months seem to pass. Well, what have you been doing all this while? Yeah, the same with me. you ' re looking good, kid. Your hair ' s a little longer, I see. Remember all the things we used to do? Gee, it ' s such a nice day. Have you seen any good movies? (God, what else can I say?) Well, I guess I have to go now. When will I see you again? We really should keep in touch, It ' s so good to know you have a friend. Serge Pauline Bernice Don THE SONG They said you were too old. You ' re wasting your time. You ' ll never make it with all those kids. But you were wasting away In a routine world With no beginning or end. It ' s been so long since You walked down halls like these. Oh, it feels so good. So you left the dishes, the PTA The dinner and the broom. And here you are in a dream. It ' s what you always wanted. What you could never have. But look, it ' s yours. It ' s been so long since You walked down halls like these. Oh, it feels so good. It ' s hard to start again When you ' ve had to wait so long. But look again . . . You ' re younger than me. Adrienne Sims DAYS GONE BY Names you don ' t remember, faces that you do. People you should meet but you ' re not sure who. People you never talk to; what can you say? " How ' s your metamorphasis? Have a nice day? It ' s such a bloody waste I know I could cry But it will soon be over Just days gone by. Fifty days will come, fifty days go. What have you learned? You just don ' t know. I hardly know what happened, just days gone by. But I ' m still here; oh, God, why? It ' s such a bloody waste I know I could cry. But it will soon be over Just days gone by. SMILE I saw a pretty face Pass me by And I looked back to see That she, too, was looking back at me. So we smiled. " People you should meet . . . " Top of page: ecosystems majors Steve Gregory, Jane Resnick, Kathy Hansen, Les Amer, Walter, Elise Broffman, Tom Leigh, Brooke Stiling, Dick Marston and Gail Matelson. At left: song girl Sheri Wilson. Directly above: Tom and Tommy Daly. Kappa Kappa Gamma Row I (left to right): Diane LaPorte, Kathy Snyder, Cynthia Beckett, Leslie Holmes, Susan Kane, Kathie Brodersen Row 2: Francis Chang, Paula Dennies, Cindy Clark, Emily Waingrow, Laurie Doumakes, Jackie Jo Peterson, Pam Quimby, Ann Baumgartner, Susan Dunfee, Louise Silk, Karen McConnell Row 3: Michele Fischer, Shelley Hollenbeck, Maggie Romero, Sarah Longley, Sara Edwards, Joyce Shimizu, Pam Dennies, Carol Agnew, Jan Futrell, Jane Yeager, Chris Quimby, Sallie Shepherd Row 4: Vicki Burd sal, Karen O ' Brien, Marcia Blanke, Debby Riley, Shauna West, Sheri Whitehouse, Kathy Randolph, Sue Taylor, Diane Fuller, Marisel Garcia Row 5: Anne Young, Suzy Lloyd, Nancy Vickers It was morning, and the sun shimmered on the dust motes floating over Royce Quad. At the edge of campus a thousand dogs and cats and bears snuffled themselves awake in the thousand apartments belonging to their owners. Obediently they scampered to fetch their leashes, leashes that measured no more than six feet in length, according to University Regulations. Only Jonathan Livingston Bruin, of all the pets at UCLA, resisted the Leash Law. His parents, Jose and Josephine Bruin, were baffled by their son ' s strange behavior. " Why, Jon, why? " his mother asked. " Why spend your whole life dodging UPD officers? You could lead a safe, normal existence at the end of a leash. " Jonathan Bruin hung his head. How could he tell his mother that freedom to roam the Westwood campus meant more to him than mere safety and reserved seats at basketball games? " See here, Jonathan, " said his father, not unkindly. " Registration isn ' t far away. Delta Gamma and Lambda Chi Alpha will be looking for a mascot. Maybe you could learn to accept your leash if a pin or a lavaliere dangled from it. " Jonathan nodded obediently. For the next few days he divided his time between the DG ' s and Lambda Chi. The work was easy enough. The girls cuddled him like a teddy bear, while the frat men let him slumber in front of the fireplace, pretending to be a bear rug. But in spite of all their kindness, Jonathan was unhappy. It ' s all so pointless, he thought. I wasn ' t meant to be a mascot. I wasn ' t meant to be a pet, bound by all the strictest University Regulations. I was meant to be free. Jonathan abruptly deserted fraternity and sorority rows. He sulked about the campus, hiding from police and parents alike. But even as he sulked, he ruminated. I must strike a blow for freedom, Jonathan thought. The pets on this campus — especially the mascots — need their consciousness raised. Jonathan Livingston Bruin was no ordinary dumb animal. He laid his plans carefully, haunting Union at all sorts of strange hours. Finally, everything was ready. The night before the first home basketball game, Jonathan struck. He pillaged and plundered the entire stock of the Students ' Store BearWear Department. sweatshirts, beach towels, rings, pennants, bumper stickers — nothing escaped Jonathan Bruin ' s vengeful eye. The loss was discovered during an inventory some weeks later. Jonathan fluttered with joy when the DAILY BRUIN broke the story in Crime and Top row, left to right: Alison Powell, Debbie Palfreyman, Eliza Kubota, Taira, Lynda Leonard, Lynda Watson, Sydney Cruce, Kim Stelzner, Laura Cochran, Lynne Trevisin, Diane Giavia, Tara Latimer, Theresa Davidson, Maryann Wells, Sharlene Shipman, Caren Siehl, Andrea Abbate, Jane Anne Upp. Bottom row, left to right: Marla Easum, Nancy Woolf, Ruby Luzand, Polly Stocking, Jeanne McConnell, Lisa Fear, Carol Neher, Marie Egan, Mary Ann Mueller, Denise Labowitz, Paula Schneider, Cara Grieve, Kay Covington, Pam Miller, Susan Keefer, Jill Ferguson, Carol Martin, Marilyn, Janie Ballard. Mark Keller, Jack Power, Brett Rowley, Jeff Summers, Tuck Meador, Dave Sandie, Pete Young, Rich Andersen, Wally Gassner, Fred Keeve, Wayne Sager, John Koher, Jim Hester, Jim Laay, Bob Yack, Mark Kimbial, Greg Veriger, Mike Wright, Harold Reich, Craig Andrews, Bill Schlicter, Pete Phelps, Doug Ledsum, Jim LaPeter, Larry Lin, Mike Stray, Florida Taylor, Mark Machowski, John Henry, Mike Cook, Richard Wapniarski, Scott Palmer, Richard Home, Erik Hickman, Bill Harrison, Gary Montgomery, Gary Williams, Terry Maroney, Dirk Gastaldo, Bruce Wollitz, Tom Larson, Bob Neumann, Jim Scilacci, Gary Messoretes, Mike Cummings. Not pic tured: Jim Meier, George Beck, Jim McDermott, Charlie Goldberg, Reese Evans, Bill Harrison, Tom Zechlin, Vic Caldwell, Mike LaCroix, Rick Shamell, Mike Tinger, Rick Bagley, and Phil Walker. His fondest hopes for consciousness-raising were realized the next morning when he found all the pets and mascots of UCLA gathered at the foot of Janss Steps. " Jonathan Livingston Bruin! Stand On Head! " Stand On Head meant only great shame or great honor. They are going to accept my leadership, Jonathan thought proudly. " Jonathan Livingston Bruin, Stand On Head for Shame! " It felt like being slapped in the face with a His knees went weak, his tail waggled. To be stood on head for shame meant that he was cast out of pet society, denied the pleasure of romping on the grass, banished to a solitary life in the Parking Structures. Jonathan Bruin spent the rest of his days alone. But the solitude was no burden to him, for Jonathan Livingston Bruin knew how to think. And as he thought, he made a great discovery. It was entirely possible to be free on the campus. The answer lay not in battling the Leash Laws, but in becoming a student. For students, he now realized, obeyed no regulations at all. So Jonathan Bruin obtained a Reg Card, and came out of hiding. The UPD complained about his hairiness at first, but accepted him as they had accepted other distasteful students. In fact, they invited him to don their uniform. But Jonathan, fearing to offend Smokey the Bear, declined. CU 61340 713 Jonathan Livingston Bruin, as he now thought of himself, seemed to have left his old life completely behind. This is heaven, he thought, and he had to smile at himself. Like most students, Jonathan had no major and attended no classes. But he took advantage of all the Cultural Events on campus. He went to the noon concerts and the nighttime coffee house series. He listened to poetry readings at Sunset Canyon Rec Center. He lounged on Janss Steps and listened to speakers. He enjoyed concerts at Royce Hall and plays at the Little Theater. And one fine day he wallowed in a performance of A Night ' s Dream on Schoenberg Quad . . . But Jonathan found his namesake, the DAILY BRUIN, did not share his concern with campus culture. He leafed through issue after issue, but no notice was taken of the Shakespeare company he had so The DAILY BRUIN is still on a leash, Jonathan thought. But he remembered the famous mascot maxim: The Bruin sees farthest who gets highest. So Jonathan jetted over to the DAILY BRUIN office and raised their consciousness. As their consciousness got higher and higher, they discovered all sorts of campus cultural events. The BRUIN sports editor got higher than anyone. In fact, his consciousness was so high that he discovered an entire area of sports left neglected. " Jonathan Livingston Bruin, help me! " Edward Sports Editor Bruin cried. " I ' ve neglected the coeds . . . I mean the women . . . entirely! " Jonathan tried to comfort him. " It ' s not only that your consciousness was low, " he gently chided him. " Consider the consciousness of the Athletic the administration, the whole university. None of them took any notice of women ' s athletics. " " Too true, " sobbed Edward. " Oh, what can we do? " Even as Edward Bruin watched him, Jonathan became transfigured. His coarse fur took on the sheen of Dynel. His toenails glowed like tiny rhinestones. His eyes became round and shiny as cue balls. Jonathan had made the ultimate sacrifice. He would return to the life of mascot that he had abandoned so long before. The crowds, he knew, would follow him. Yes, they would come to see him, but they would remain to watch women ' s crew and women ' s tennis, women ' s track and women ' s swimming, women ' s diving and women ' s volleyball . . . and all the other women ' s sports. The women had never had a cheerleader in much less a mascot. Jonathan Livingston Bruin made all the difference in the world to their status on campus. And one day, while a huge crowd filled Ducky Drake (a distant relative on Jonathan ' s mother ' s side) Stadium with cheers for the women ' s track team, Jonathan Livingston Bruin realized that his work was finished. The Bruin sees farthest who gets highest, he whispered to himself, and soared aloft. Edward Sports Editor Bruin, his eyes narrowed against the bright sun, caught a final glimpse of Jonathan Livingston Bruin as he collided with the Goodyear Blimp. The End Top row (left to right): Joni Glaser, Andi Rubin, Sunny Wise, Connie Berke, Claudia Dorman, Lori Weisberg, Linda Marks, Robin Silberberg, Carole Levitzsky, Karla Freedman, Cheryl Clar, Debbie Moster. Bottom row (left to right): Carol Schulman, Lori Sklar, Karen Schechet, Gayle Fichelson. Julie Moskovitz, Karen Lazarou, Gail Gaeta, Francie Gumbiner, Karen Yoffee, Lisa Marks, Jan Weisbart, Judy Miller . . . . . . Nancy Feldman, Sue Izenstark, Wendy Jacobs, Maxine Luskin, Alice Fass, Rhonda Byer, Sally Finck, Claire Schwartz, Lynn David, Wendy Goldberg, Julie Landis, Jane Kass. CAST OF CHARACTERS BARLOW SNERD, a Buddhist used tennis-shoe salesman MAXINE W., his wife and mistress (she also hands out programs between acts) RABBI LEROY BROWN, a token clergyman DAVID BOWIE, played by Chill Wills THE ENTIRE BELGIAN ARMY CHIC CHIMES, an ambidextrous, left-handed bellhop who knows Fanny Danwurst personally HONKY CAT, an albino puma suffering from worms TWO WEIRD HOLY MEN CARRYING A SERBIAN PHONEBOOK MOOSE KREBS, one hell of a mean, bad-ass dude who provides most of the violence in this farce WANDA, one of many assorted schleps JASON , the caddy MYSTERY GUEST, and boy, won ' t you be surprised! ONE FORD MAVERICK WITH FAULTY DISC BRAKES Jason, unfortunately, never really wanted to be in this foolish parody, so he will not be seen. ACT I (The interior of a locker room somewhere deep in the caverns of Pauley Pavilion. It is just before game time because a seminude taxidermist is streaking across the stage holding a sign which reads: " That ' s right, folks. It ' s just before game time! " He stuffs himself inside a locker and shuts the door behind him. His cries for help go unheeded throughout the remainder of the scene. JOHN WOODENT enters suddenly on roller skates from off stage right, and the UCLA VARSITY team follows on horseback. They dismount in the shower and huddle around each other so as not to get lost.) WOODENT (To no one in particular.) Take a letter. BILLTON Not now, Coach. My horse wants to take a leak. (He exits carrying a stack of old Wall Street Journals.) COORTUS Sheeeiit. That dude ' s gonna be rich, and all he wants to do is his horse. (The entire 101st Airborne Division bursts through the shower room door and immediately pitches camp. Prisoners are taken. W-2 forms are filled out.) GENERAL EPAULET Well, what do you think, Coach? WOODENT Don ' t stall. I never believe in it. GENERAL EPAULET No, I mean my boots. Are they shined enough? WOODENT (contemptuously) You MUST be kidding. (He snaps his fingers and BILLTON picks up the general and dunks him in the nearest wastebasket. He ' s fouled on the play and goes to the line for a one and one.) (Offstage, a loudspeaker blares: " The flag is up! " and the basketball players hop into a taxi and exit swiftly. The cheerleaders appear suddenly from behind the water fountain and sing the following jingle.) CHORUS Dribble, dribble, dribble, score, score, score. One more basket will blow them off the floor. The Bruins are the best, and that ' s a fact. But if they lose, don ' t expect a Big Mac. (They exit off stage right as the commander of the airborne division lays down his arms and surrenders to a sickly locker attendant, who admits he ' d really prefer to have his lawyer there to witness it.) (End of Act I unless, that is, you wish to see more, and if you do, notify the nearest usher as soon as possible.) Pi Beta Phi CAST OF CHARACTERS FOREGROUND (left to right) Sally Hazard Andrea Portenier Diane Talmadge Jane Schnugg Karen Wallace Ann Craddock Susan Domke Leslie Avery Brooke Bulmore Mud Miller Cheryl Vessadini Lynn Dee Moore Marion Chan Kris Carlson Janice Hartley Cheryl Edwards Dottie Green Ann Sember Debbie Webb Char Haupt BACKGROUND (left to right) Markay Hannum Jane Boni Jeannette Barthel Madeleine Sieg STAIRS (left to right) Cindy Hewett Susie Kincaide Cynthia Berger Phi Kappa Psi CAST OF CHARACTERS KNEELING (left to right) Cheyenne " The Wonderdog " Dave " Baldy " Peyton Dan " Spaceman " Shubart Brian " Toad " Gardner SITTING (left to right) Grow-Grow Grothe Steve " Goofy " Hammontree " Streak " Salcido STANDING (left to right) Kevan " Tube-Room " Lynd Ralphy Skillen Cleon " Beak " Pantell Christopher J. Irving Dad Osgood " Kung Fu " Farrell " Sudden Sam " Albanose " Char-broiled " Kennedy Antonio Evaboras Gailketsis Chris " El Piggo " Morrow Clifford No More Ricardo " Beach Boy " Tschudin Buffalo Chip Marx " R.F. " Fletcher James " Squid " Wallace Frank Alpert MISSING Reynaldo Grimez John McGovern Brett Wilson Ron Coon Greg Lee Bob Leonard Peyton Smith Jack Willey Fred Zimmer Bradley Langston-Jones Larry Curtis Hansen Spearchucker Jones Bill Smee Dan Tom Horwitz ACT II (The living room of the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity house. A beer bust is in progress. Twelve lumberjacks wearing stereo headphones are playing hopscotch in one corner of the room while the band is playing the Little Rascals ' theme song. Young nubile nymphs abound everywhere. There are even a few girls there too.) CHUGGER Gee-zus, do you see that broad over there? MUSCLES Yeah, but I don ' t think I ' m her type. She wouldn ' t find me interesting. Remember, I ' m the one who thought an orgy was an Armenian placemat. CHUGGER Hmmm, that ' s right. But you never know what could happen. (Just then the DEVIL appears from underneath a lampshade and hands the maitre d ' an expired library card. He whispers a few words to the GIRL and she guffaws loudly — disturbing several guffaws perching nearby. They both steal a glance toward MUSCLES and the girl nods in agreement. The DEVIL turns to go and bumps into some guy who is trying to impersonate a dull host. The two exchange heated words (101 F) for a moment and then the DEVIL snaps his fingers and turns the guy into a set of obscene Tibetan bookends. The girl approaches MUSCLES.) TANYA Hi there, I ' ve heard from reliable sources that you ' d like to get it on with me. MUSCLES Uh, yeah, I guess so. What did you have in mind? TANYA (She takes his arm.) I know of a quiet, secluded towel closet nearby. C ' mon. MUSCLES May I ask what brought on this sudden desire? TANYA (Shrugging.) The Devil made me do it. (The entire PI BETA PHI sorority arrives on a team of camels and they set up their tents behind the Atlas 500 missile pad which is parked illegally between the fireplace and the head. Two dozen camelias are delivered by a weird Hungarian who seems to have misplaced his knees.) HEATHER Boy, what a party! RACHEL What a party. Boys! ( Now that the PI PHI ' s have arrived, the party immediately livens up. A football game is turned on and by halftime everyone has scored. A phone rings. No one answers it, so the phone gets up and walks out in a huff. NOTE : At this point, due to an oversight in the script, no one utters a line of dialog for the next 42-1 2 minutes. The audience starts to get restless. Soon they begin to form groups and advance toward the stage.) (End of Act II due to the fact that the spectators are rapidly bearing down on the stage manager with stuffed mackerels.) ACT III (The scene opens upon a bar mitsvah reception being held at the Rec Center. Little ABE CHIMMEL is the young man being honored, and he is being given a new set of Teflon dishware by his grandparents, which he ceremoniously dips into a large vat of soy sauce while chanting the kiddish.) ABE (To his barber) A little more salt, please. RODRIGUEZ To the right or the left? ABE No. Only when I say so. ( Moshe Dayan appears in a cameo role and sits down to try and settle the issue. He leaves after being told by his stockbroker that his tank is double-parked. Before anyone can say " You want I should take it in a little? " , the Pro-Zionist Neutrality League of UCLA with an of 12 noodges enters murmuring ancient Hassidic tales of joy, happiness, and used doggie bags.) HOWARD COSELL (Struggling to get close to ABE as a pack of wild jungle geese block his path.) Abe! Abe! I want to speak to Abe Chimmel. Let the Jewish sportscaster through. Abe! ABE Hi Howard. I think . . . COSELL Abe! Let me speak to the Chimmel boy. Abe! . . . where ' s Angelo Dundee? ABE Uh, Howard, I ' m right here next to . . . COSELL Abe Chimmel! (He wraps his arm around Abe. He looks frantically off to his right.) Are we on? Okay. (He turns back now to Abe.) Abe, we haven ' t got much time. Tell the viewers out there how it feels to be here on the campus of UCLA for your bar mitsvah? ABE (His eyes open wide in sudden shock.) Bar mitsvah? You meeskeit. I ' m here to get my skull cap altered. Listen, go find a friend, willya? COSELL And you heard it here first! (End of Act III) ACT IV (Act IV was misplaced by an overzealous Bohemian landlord who mistook the inaudible contents for a copy of the Daily Bruin.) ACT V (The front of Bunche Hall. It is noon. An elevator at the base of Bunche Hall opens and several students exit. Suddenly a voice is d from offstage.) VOICE FROM OFFSTAGE Look out! Here they come again! (A shower of small white pellets rain down on all the students exiting from the elevator. All other students dive for cover. Within seconds, three students, a Molecular English major and two insurance salesman minors are covered from head to foot by a thick white goo. Loud squawking is heard from above and then a flapping of wings.) STUDENT 1 Drat! I forgot about them damn swallows. Yecchh! (He shakes his fist and glares up in the air.) That ' s one for you, B.B. But it won ' t happen again. I promise you! STUDENT 2 (quizzically) Who are you talking to? Who ' s B.B.? STUDENT 1 You don ' t know who ol ' B.B. is? (He promptly takes out a cup of hot buttered tartar sauce and ladles it over both STUDENT 2 ' s ears.) Listen. B.B. is an old senior swallow we call the Bunche Bomber. Better accuracy than most pigeons. Rumor has it he took a course in Forehead Saturation at the N.Y. Central Park Statue Training Grounds. STUDENT 2 He ' s good, huh? STUDENT 1 Taught Jonathan Livingstone Seagull everything he knows. STUDENT 2 Oh yeah? Which one is he? (They both look up in the sky. A large splat is heard and they both wipe their foreheads.) BOTH THAT one! ACT VI (The top of Bruin Walk. It is mid-afternoon. 12,000 screaming little beasties from nearby high schools and junior high schools suddenly appear from all sides. They are touring the campus. Three of the tiny monsters skateboard down the hill and plow into two dozen Hare Krishnas, causing multiple injuries. Leaflets scatter everywhere. Others interrupt one o f SWAMI X ' s favorite monologues, his only one, as a matter of fact.) SWAMI You little %$ " . May a beached whale throw up on your the next time you ' re at the beach. BRAT 1 Oh yeah? I don ' t like you. BRAT 2 Neither do I. Why are you outside? If you ' re a teacher, where ' s your classroom? CHORUS Dirty old man, smoking your hash, Standing on that pedestal preaching your trash. Our parents are ashamed, but of course you ' re not. One of these days, we hope you ' ll get caught. SWAMI Aha! That PROVES it. Your parents MUST be Republicans! Next Christmas, may Santa Claus mistake your chimney for his favorite relief area. (One of the Regents of the university appears from under a rock where he has been staying all year and walks up to a campus bulletin board. He rips down all the flyers marked " Regulations Concerning Keeping Dogs on Leashes " and replaces them with " Regulations Concerning Keeping Little Kids Under Lock and Key. " ACT VII (The Daily Bruin office in the basement of the Men ' s Gym. A mounted policeman is directing traffic as the Bruin Advertising Staff all emerge from a jacuzzi wearing collegiate attire. They climb a tree. Two of them are overwhelmed by an uncontrollable fit of itching.) EDITOR (Not realizing she is in the same room with herself.) You know what I think? EDITOR ' S LACKEY Uh-huh. And I wish you ' d stop it. EDITOR We need three more ads for tomorrow ' s paper. What do you suggest? DOORMAN AT THE RITZ I ' d suggest a nice cocktail before supper, madam. EDITOR Why, of course. Ewell Gibbons wanted to place an ad for a new cereal product he is promoting. It ' s called Thorn Flakes and is made from the stems of rose bushes. The taste is supposed to be phenomenal if one can stand the chewing. WATERBOY Is that all, Coach? EDITOR Also Wilson ' s House of Suede wanted to place an ad concerning their upcoming 100% off sale. And a funny-looking joker in a faded blue suit with jowls named Richard wanted to mention that he will be selling some rather interesting 8-track tapes on Bruin Walk all next week. But it didn ' t work out. NEVADA GAMING COMMISSION Why not? EDITOR His credit wasn ' t good. (End of Act VII) Daily Bruin advertising staff. Display (from top to bottom, left to right) : Greg Johnson, Vicki Vance, Paul Callanan, Glen Winans, Kathy Yoshimura, Debby Riley, Anne Young. Classified (left to right, first to last row) : Melanie Knoth, Cindy Griffin, Bev Stoll, Terry Murphy, Pam Clark, Pat Gutierrez, Susan Harada, Iris Yoneda, Dorothy Wood. 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University of California Los Angeles - Bruin Life / Southern Campus Yearbook (Los Angeles, CA) online yearbook collection, 1972 Edition, Page 1

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