Turlock High School - Alert Yearbook (Turlock, CA)

 - Class of 1923

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Turlock High School - Alert Yearbook (Turlock, CA) online yearbook collection, 1923 Edition, Cover
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Text from Pages 1 - 130 of the 1923 volume:

iq .s Faculty J. P. RATZELL, Principal Franklin Marshall College: A. B.: Columbia University: A. M. LEROY NICHOLS, Vice Principal Southwestern College: A. B.: University of Southern California: A. M.: Economics and History. ILMA BADGELY University of California: A. B.: Domestic Science. GLADYS E. BEEMAN Unfiversity of California: A. B.: Mechanical and Freehand Drawing. AMELIA C. BOETTLER University of California: A. B.: English. OCTAVIA D. DeLAP University of California: A. B.: English. LEILA E. EVANS Unliversity of California: A. B.: History and General Arithmetic. LARS J. ERICKSON Oregon Agricultural College: B. S.: Manual Training. ADELAIDE GRAHAM University of California: B. L.: French and Latin. MARY BLAIR GRANT University of California: B. S.: Shorthand, Typewriting, Spelling and Penmanship. HELEN G. HALLIDAY University of California: A. B.: Physical Education. EVA MAYE HYDE Pomona College: A. B.: Biology. LELAND G. LANCASTER San Jose Normal: University of California: Physical Education and Coach. C. S. McCREADY Baker University: McPherson College: Auto Repairing. MRS. PAULINE C. PULCIFER University of California: B. L.: Yale University: A. M.: History. .l. C. RAY Stanford University: A. B.: Mathematics. MRS. FRANCES H. ROACH Southwestern University: Dramatic School of Music, Mexico City: National Conservatory, Mexico City: Spanish and Music. ESTHA M. RODKEY University of California: B. S.: Bookkeeping, Typewriting, Commercial Arithmetic. RUTH SPENCER College of Emporia: A. B.: University of Kansas: A. M.: Englrish, Drama. EDITH M. SPRAGUE . Brown University: A. B.: English, Debating, Journalism. INA SMITH University of Missouri: A. B., B. S.: Mathematics. G. P. SENTER XVi1llam Jewell College: A. B., A. M.: Harvard College: University of Washington: Chemistry and Physics. RUTH HESTWOOD San Jose Normal: Unlversflty of California: A. B.: Biology. SOPI-IIA DINSDALE University of California: A. B.: General Science. BESSIE FERGUSON College of Pacific: A. B.: University of California: English. MAE B. WHITE University of California: Santa Barbara State Teachers' College: Home Economics and Commercial. HELEN HOHENTHAL University of California: A. B.: History and English. MRS. DAISY BROCKWAY Southwestern University: A. B.: San Jose Normal: Americanization. lPage 51 ri Class Flower Class Colors RED ROSE RED AND WHITE Motto ORIGINALITY, SCHOLARSHIP d an ATHLETICS X Q L t 'l A W X ' t ' 5 X X i :Sai A LW 4 L15 fi "y e ' 'L , r. t f ' 1 i Jill, I Almll. I IPS 61 "One by one thy duties wait thee: Let thy Whole strength go to each. d elate thee, Let no future reams Learn thou first what these may teach? U- , Ch f' f T fuxh' C,fiycff1f1f'L.0'i, L L q ' 1" I I , ,, 1 f ,f V A, Lf Lf N-f0'f L14-Xa-'kJf , X xx D THE LERT VOL. XV TURLOCK, CALIFORNIA JUNE, 1923 Published by the ASSOCIATED STUDENT BODY of the TURLOCK UNION HIGH SCHOOL TURLOCK, CALIFORNIA i 5 Dedication To Mary Blair Grant Our Teacher and Advisor We, the Class of 1923, dedicate this issue of The ALERT in token of our appreciation of her untiring efforts in behalf of the welfare of our class. Throughout the four years of our High School career she has always been a loyal and selfsacrihcing Friend MARY BLAIR GRANT FACULTY .T -1 IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIII llllIIIIIIIIllllllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIll!HIIIIIIIIIImillIIIIIIIIIIIIIllllllIIIIllIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIWHIIIIIIIIIIIIIlllllllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIII IlllllllIlIIIlIIIIIIIll!HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIHIIIIIIIIII Illl INDEX ILLUSTRATIONS Dedication . . Faculty . . . Senior Heading . . Seniors . . . . . Juniors . . . . Sophomore "A" Sophomore "B" Freshmen "B" . Freshmen "A" . . Alert Staff ..... Executive Committee . French and Spanish Clubs Football Team .... Basket Ball and Baseball Title Page . . . Dedication ....... Faculty ........ Climb to Graduation Heights Senior Will ...... Senior Class Prophecy . . Still Remember Me .... Calendar of Events .... The Charge of the Light Brigade ....... Junior Report ..... Sophomore "A" Report . . Sophomore "B" Report . . Freshmen "B" Report . . . Freshmen "A" Report . . . Just a Collar Button . . . "Pop" Crockett Retires . . AhMl1l! ....... Dreams and Reality . . . Senior Lament, or To the Seniors . . . Dorothy Jean . . . Don't Cry . . . . . Track Team .... Girls' Basket Ball Team Girls' Baseball Team . Orchestra .... Boys' Glee Club . Girls' Glee Club . Senior Play Cast . Junior Play Cast . Dramatic Club . . . Debating Clubs . . . Snaps ...... 105 Bughouse Fables . . . H. S. Tribune Staff . End of the Trail . LITERARY Socks . . . Exchanges . Honor Roll . Editorial . . . Student Body . . . French Club Report . Spanish Club Report . Football Record . . . Basket Ball Record . Track Record . . . Baseball Record . . Girls' Baseball Record . Girls' Basket Ball Record Girls' Track Report . Music Report .... Dramatic Report . Debating Record . Our Auto Shop . . Jokes ...... H. S. Tribune Report . Alumni ...... Alert Business Mgr. Report Autographs .... HIII IIIIIIIIIlllllIIIIIIIlllllllllllllllllllllll llll IIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllllllllllllllll llll IIIIIIIIIIHill!IIilllllllllllllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIH III Illlllllllllllill IIIIIIIIHIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHllllIIIIlllllllllilllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ANNA AHLBERG A maiden, modest, frank and true Girls' glee '20 Minstrel show '21-Honor roll '21 Baseball '23-Basket ball '23 ELSTON AHLBERG Train up a child In the way he should go, When he's grown You can't tell what he'll do Band '20-Orchestra '20, '21, '22 Minstrels '21-Spanish club '23 EIQIZABETH BAILEY Demure I am, But always tried and true. CLARKE ALLISON What doth this sweet child in th-is wicked place? Tribune stat'-f '23 MABEL BEAUCHAMP A little maid am I, But with lots of pep and vim. Circus '22-Dramatic club '23 Alert staff '23 ALFRED ALSTROM Majestic and tall He moves thru the hall, Towering high above us all. Honor roll '20-Debate club '20 Class reporter '20-Editor Reflector '21 Tribune staff '22-Spanish club '23 Editor Tribune '23 CARL BERGSTEDT Were silence golden, l'd be a millionaire. Band '21 RUTH BEVANS She's witty, sl1e's wise, And quite small in size. Class secretary '21-Reflector staff '21 Alert staff '22, '23--Minstrels '21 Secretary student body '23-Circus '22 FRANCIS BERGSTROM And had he not high honor? Orchestra '22, '23-Boys' glee '23 Tribune staff '22 Business manager Alert '23 MILDRED BODIN The gentle mind By gentle deeds is known. RUSSEL BISNETT I take no pleasure In rlotous living. MILDRED BOOTH So meekly, sweetly ladylike Drama club '23-French club '23 Debating club '23-Operetta '23 W - L, DELLA BROWN My snappy eyes Display my lively grace. Girls' baske-t 'ball '14, '15, '16 Chorus '14, '15, '16 Girls' double quartette '16 Alert staff '16 ELDON CARLSON Nothing but death will part me from my dignity. Supreme Judge vigilance comm. '23 French club '23 JEAN CLAYT ON I like the boys immensely But especially just one. Glee club '22, '23-Operetta '23 FRED CARLSON The more I see of some -people, The better I like my clog. Tribune staff '23 Vigilance committee '23 PEARL COLBURN Verst in books and fond of tee. Drama club '23 Vice president class '23 GUY CHAPPELL The deed I intend to do is great, But what, as yet, I lknow not. ' Track '22, '23 JOHN CLAES Though modest, On his unembarrassed brow Nature has written-Gentleman. Tribune staff '23 EDITH CRAMPTON -Her mind is one of keenness. Transferred to Turlock '23 Secretary dramatic club '23 Associate judge '23 ANTONE COELHO His actions were those of thought. Spanish club '23 ESTHER ECKLUND As quiet as a nun is she. Glee club '20, '21, '22, '23-Operetta '20 Basket ball '21 Vice president French club '23 Honor roll '23-Minstrels '21 ABNER CROWELL Still waters run deep. WAUNITA EDMONSTON JORGENS ON All good things do not come put up in small packages. Glee club '20, '21, '23-Operetta '20 Dramatic club '23 t MARION COLLINS You look wise, pray correct that error Executive committee '23 Alert staff '23-Dramatic club '23 Senior play '23 HELEN GALLIS ON Her -smile is prodigal ot' a summery shine, Gaily persistent like a morn in June. Operetta '20, '22, '23-Class sec. '23 Glee club '20, '21, '22, '23-Circus '22 Spanish club '23-Minstrels '21 VAUGHN EARP Don't di-sturb meg I'm thinking Vice president Spanish club '23 Foot-ball '23-Bow-Bows '23 Big T society '23-Sergeant cadets '20 LILLIAN GAYLORD Youth comes 'but once in a lifetime Dramatic club '23 FOREST FIORINI Any show for a pleasant chap like me in this world? Football '23-Bow-Bows '23 GLENN GODDARD Her winning smile is a true index to her character Transferred from San Fernando High School '23 MARVEL GRAN If to her share some female errors fall ,List to her voice and' you'll forget them all. Glee club '20-Minstrels '21 CLIFFORD HARRINGTON You are too mild, too mild, I pray thee swear. Alert staff '23-Tribune staff '23 Track '23 FLORENCE GREEN The poet of the Senior class A very knowing little lass. ERLE HENRIKSON Rare compound of oddity, Frolic and fun, Who relished a joke and Rejoiced in a pun. Executive committee '20, '22, '23 Class' -president '21-Tribune staff '23 Student body president '23 School yell leader '22-Alert staff '23 Reflector staff '21-Minstrel show '21 Football '23-Class play '22, '23 Bow-Bows '23-Dramatic club '23 FRANCES GRUBB Stir up the gift that is within you. Glee club '20, '21, '22, '23 Operetta '20 HOWARD HJ ELM One can smile and smile, And be a villain still. Class president '20, 22 Debate club '20-Alert staff '20 Executive committee '21, 23 Business manager Reflector '21 Quartermaster Sergeant cadets '21 Tribune staff '22-Class play '22 Class executive committee '23 Treasurer of student body '23 Spanish club '23 ALICE HENDRICKSON Whate'er she did was done with so much ease. Vice president class '20 Executive representative '20 Transferred to Los Angeles '21 Alert staff '23 RALPH HAWK Not so bad as his name might indicate. FLORENCE HOLMGREN My own livin-g I can make , For I have wisdom enough at stake Glee club '20 VERNON .IAEGER As sober as a judge. Alert staff '23-Glee club '23 Honor roll '22 EMMA HOLGREN Tall an-d -stately, And with studious mind, I ply my efforts At whate'er I find. Honor roll '21-Glee club '20 ALBERT JOHNSON I never did get much exercised over poetry. 5 Transferred from Los Banos '21 Spanish '23-Track '21, '23 DEE KIMZEY Full well they laughed with glee, At all his jokes, For many a joke had he. Football '21, '22-Track '21, '22 Baseball '22-Tennis '22 Athletic manager '23 President Spanish club, 1-st sem. '23 DOROTHY HOOVER She is a modest Little maid, With eyes so dark and bright. Debate '20, '22, '23-Minstrels '21 Operetta '22--Tribune staff '23 Alert staff '23-Dramatic club '23 ANNA HOUSTON Some smiles look as though they had been done up in curl papers. 'l'ransl'erred from Hilmar '23 AUDREY HUMBLE Happy and gay, t'l1e live-long day, I dance and sing like bells that ring. Vice president class '20, '22 Reflector staff '21-Dramatic club '23 Debate club '22-May queen '23 EBBA HULTMAN She needs no questioning, Before she speaks. Girls' glee '20-Basket ball '23 Baseball '23-Track '23 TERRY LAIRD For his heart was in his work. 'Pransferred from Ceres '23 1 il Q. ra . :qv gf.. , -'.- L , . ORVAL CROWELL He is so funny, yet so sensible. Basket ball '22, '23-Baseball '22, '23 JEANETTE JOHNSON "I should worry!" Glee club '20-Minstrels '21 Circus '22 EDWARD LARSON I abstain from the follies of youth. Transferred from Oregon '21 Minstrels '21-Spanish club '23 EVELYN KANE A friend is Nature's masterpiece. LEONARD LARSON His speech was like a, tangled chain, Nothing impaired, but all -disordered. Debate club '20-Tribune staff '23 Baseball '23 CHRISTINE KRAFT She's always a, fniend to me and you Glee club '20-Dramatic club '23 ELVERA KULANDER A lass with golden locks. Glee club '20-Spanish club '23 CURTIS MCKENZIE Unceasing energy you have, But do you never tire? ANNA LARS ON Black are her locks as the night But her spirit contrasted, Is as bright as the sunlight. Baseball '23-Glee club '20 CLIFFORD LILYQUIST He came, He learned, He said nothing. MYRTLE LARSON Gentle of speech, Beneficent ot min-d. Honor roll '21-Glee club '20 LESTER THOMPSON Himself alone, None other he resembles. Transferred from Tulare '22 AUSTIN MORRISON I know thee For a man of many thoughts. Football '23 FRANCES LEEDOM I make a point of never listening to whispers of scandal. RUTH LOGAN I am a maid, Who always has a smile. Class play '22-Dramatic club '23 EVELYN LUND Past hope, past cure, past help. Minstrels '21- Glee club '20, 23 Operetta '20-Class play '22, '23 Circus '22-Dramatic club '23 HELEN LUNDGREN Full of frolicsome mirth and fun, Enjoying the clouds as well as the sun. Glee club '22, '23-Mfinstrels '21 Operetta '22, '23-Class play '23 French Club '23-Dramatic club '23 Alert 'staff '23 I ENOCH ORNBERG God bless the man, Who first invented sleep. Track '21 ROY OYER I deny myself the luxuries of life. Transferred from Denair '21 Track '21, '22, '23-Glee club '23 Class play '22, '23-Debate club '23 President dramatic club '23 BESSIE PAXON The love of books is a love which requires neither justification, or defense. Dramatic club '23 ROY VANN Describe who can: An abridgemeut of all That was pleasant in man. Class president '23-Class play '23 Glee club '22, '23-Debate club '23 Track '22-Dramatic club '23 Transferred from Upper Lake '22 LEONE MCBRAYER Some think I'm very haughty and proud, But my kindly ways must be allowed. Glee club '20, '21, '22, '23-Operetta '20 Honor roll '22-Tribune staff '23 Reporter Spanish club '23 Vice president -debate club '23 Alert staff '23 ROGER QUIGLY Let me move to the sound of "jazzy" music DOROTHY PETERSON Her hair is not more sunny than her heart. Honor roll '22-Glee club '20 MYRTLE LINDBERG A daughter of the gods thou art, Divinely tall and most divinely fair Glee club '20-Minstrel-s '21 Debate club '21-Operetta '20 Basket ball '23 HERMAN TRIEWEILER I would this were overg I am tired. NADINE PIMLOTT A queenly mien I have, So tall and fair. Glee club '20, '23-Dramatic club '23 Class play '23 JOSEPH VIERRA I ha.ven't much to say, But in the world, I'l1 win my way President Spanish club 2nd semester '23 IRMA WILLIAMS A jovial soul, WVhose help is never sought in vain Minstrels '21-Spanish club '23 Tribune staff '23 LEONARD VVEJ MAR Thou faster child of silence and slow time. Basket ball '23 RUBY POST ' 'Tis the quiet people that do the work Secretary French club '23 Alert staff '23-Honor roll '22, '23 EUGENE RANEY When l'm alone .l'm lonesome. Track '22, '23 Second team basket ball '21 GLADYS RADANTKE And she lived "happy ever afterward." Glee club '20, '21, '22, '23 ITTSIICII club '23 DONALD RATZELL Talk to him of Jacob's ladder, and he would ask the number of steps. Football '23-Bow-Bows '23 Track '23-Spanish club '23 GRACE ROBERTSON If my heart would but stand still, I could ripple as a rill. Transferred from San Jose '22 EARLE RICHARDS Oh, those tiny feet and tiny hands, And the cute little poise of the head. Alert staff '23-Tribune staff '23 Tennis '22, '23-Bow-Bows '23 HOWREN ROACH I love to Wind my mouth up, I love to hear it go. Tribune staff '23-Reflector staff '21 Alert -staff '22, '23-Class play '22, '23 Class treasurer '22 HELEN SHELD She has two eyes so solft and brown, Take care, take care! Slhe gives a glance and then looks down, Beware! Glee club '21, '23-Minstrels '21 Spanish club '23 Operetta '23-Dramatic club '23 Alert staff '23-Tribune staff '23 EUGENE ROWLEY Push-don't knock. Class treasurer '23-Track '23 Tribune staff '23-Latin play '23 Bow-Bow-s '23 BERTHA SIMMS Alas, alas! This maiden knows too much! Class secretary '20-Debate '21, '22 Reflector staff '21-Class reporter '23 Alert staff '23-French club '23 Honor roll '20, '22, '23 NEWELL SERVICE I tell you, They need more men like me. Senior executive committee '23 Track '20, '21, '22, '23 DOROTHY SMITH I never dare to be as funny as I can. Glee club '20, '21, '22, '23 Operetta '21, '22, '23 Minstrels '21-French club '23 ETHEL SODERSTROM Fair-haired and blue-eyed: One in whom we may confide. Glec club '20, '23-Dramatic club '23 Shakespearian contest '22 Class play '22, '23 MELVIN SJ OGREN Stir up the gift that is within thee. Transferred from Mission High San Francisco INEZ SWANSON Her charms are manifold. ROBERT STILLE 'Phe deepest rivers malke the least sound. 'Transferred from Wolt Point '23 VIOLA SWANSON With humor and wit, And e'er a lively tongue, My blue eyes sparkle In every task begun. Tl'iUlSfel'I'ed to Dinuba '21 French club '23 LAUREN SUN DERLAND A man not of words but of action. Basket ball '22, '23-Football '23 Track '21, '22, '23-Baseball '22, '23 Vice president student body '23 Vice president Spanish club '23 Class yell leader '23 Exec. comm. '23-Reflector staff '21 wi PJ W I. CLIFFORD SWANSON All's well that ends well,- so says the proverb. Baseball '21, '22, '23-Basket ball '23 Second team football '23 Bow-Bows '23 ELEANOR TRACY She was active, stirring, and aiireg Could not rest, could tire. Basket ball '23-Glee club '23 Operetta '23-Dramatic club '23 MERRILL SWENSON Opinions, facts, statistics all in hand Combine to ma-ke the arguments he planned. Oratorical contest '23-Class play '23 Business manager Senior play '23 Secretary Spanish club '23 Dramatic club '23-Debate club '21, '23 San Jose High School '22 Reflector staff '21-Minlstrels '21 ANNA TRIEWEILER YVho fears to ask Doth teach to be denied. ELDON THOMPSON I care for nobody, no not I, And nobody cares for me. Class treasurer '21-Honor roll '21, '22 Bow-Bows '23 LOIS WILCOX Trust in her is not misplaced. Honor roll '22-Spanish club '23 Debate club '23 CHRISSIE WOOLCOCK Naught in this world Defies the power of music. Operetta '21,,'22, '23-Class sec'y '22 Reflector staff '21-Alert staff '21, '22 Editor-in-chief '23-Class play '22, '23 Minstrels '21-Executive comm. '23 Glee club '20, '21, '22, '23 Dramatic club '23 President French club '23 Honor roll '20, '21, '22, '23 HERBERT ZIPSER lmpulsive, aggressive in spirit and action. Basket ball '20, '21, '22, '23 Baseball '20, '21, '22, '23 Football '21, '22, '23-Track '22, '23 Class executive committee '22 Class athletic manager '20, '22 Big T society '20, '21, '22, '23 AGNES ZIMMERMAN I am so quiet and pensive- Always hard at work, E'er bent upon my lessons Which I never shink. Honor roll '21, '22-Operetta '22 Secretary 'debate club '23 Junior sec'y '23-Glee club '22, '23 1 lrfvlj Q! ,., fy I 71 N JV ,I The Climb to Graduation Heights AR in the distance lay Mt. Diploma, a purple mist-veiled peak whose crest glistened like gold in the sunlight. To the group of youngsters assembled at the edge of Freshman Slope, on September 15th, 1919, it seemed so far distant as to be almost unattainable. Yet they had set it as their goal and despite their own secret misgivings and the supercilious glances the upper classmen bestowed on them they were eager to begin their long climb upward to Graduation Heights. Under the care of competent guides, holding high the colors white for purity, red for courage, the Hikers of '23 began their journey. They had not gone far when the ambushing tribe of '22 Savages from Sophomore Hill surrounded them and tried to duck them in Initiation Creek. The battle was hard fought but the warriors of '23 proved their merit in holding out against the attackers. However, amicable relations were soon established with all and the merry Party '23 pushed rapidly forward soon completing the first part of their journey. Efficiency, progress, diligent climbing and originality mingled with gay parties, picnics, entertainments, athletic games and stunts, a minstrel show, a play, a ditch day and occasional falls into Trouble Ravine, marked the course through the next two laps of the journey, Sophomore Hill, and Junior Ridge. ' On September 18, 1922, as ftheyj '23 stood at the entrance of the fourth and last lap of their journey, Graduation Heights, that had seemed so remote three years ago, now loomed large and distinctly in the fore- ground. The Hikers now climbed more eagerly, carefully following the trails selected by their guides, Miss Sprague, Miss Spencer, and Miss Grant, thus avoiding the slide into Trouble Canyon. They chose Roy Vann as chief, Pearl Colburn as second chief, Gene Rowley as caretaker of the valuables, Helen Ga.llison as recorder of events and Marion Collins as messenger to the Bow-Wows of the four tribes at Assembly Flats. Early in the year it had been arranged to give a play, "Come Out of the Kitchen," on February 23, the cast being chosen from those of the party who had dramatic talent and ability. The play was splendidly presented and was enjoyed by all who saw it. April 8, the important Fete Day of the Senior Mt. Folk, was celebrated in an extraordinary fashion. Everyone appeared in a motley of curious raiment and with actions switched to his dress. At noon they enjoyed a picnic feast in company with all the guides. Soon after an enjoyable Senior Party was given, but best of all their good times was Sneak Day celebration. Bright and early in the morning they ditched their guards and sneaked off for a day far from Senior Mt. Very soon their climb was ended and on June 14, the group of youth and maidens stood on Diploma Peak looking back on their four years' struggle through High School Realm and regretting to leave it, vet looking forward with eager anticipation to carry out the figure. R. P. '23. Senior Wi.ll E, THE ALL-MIGHTY, educated evacuat.ors of Turlock Union High School, East Side, Turlock, after due pondering, deliberation, and much forethought, leave individually to our inferiors, as a mark of our special favor, the following goods and chattels: I, Howard Hjelm, the early bird himself, will my seat in detention to whoever is tardy. The seat will undoubtedly remain unoccupied. I, Erle Henrikson, leave 1ny hat to the highest bidder for use as an umbrella. I, Dorothy Hoover, will the remembrance of 1ny roguish black eyes to whoever sees them. I, Della Brown, the U. S. History Shark, leave my 1's in said subject to some needy Junior. I, Roy Oyer, will my ability of making love on the stage to some youthful Romelet to Wayne Johnston, who has need of more practical experience than I. I, Lillian Gaylord, do hereby will and bequeath a pair of my silk hose to Mary Strese, who will, no doubt, utilize them as a pair of spats. I, Francis Bergstrom, leave, with all due remorse, my position as busi- ness manager of the "Alert" to anybody who is in want of something to do. We, Ruth Bevans and Hellen Gallison, the far-famed mammoth twins, will our magnitude, both longitudinally and latitudinally to Marguerite Vignolo and Barbara Davis, respectively, who are greatly in need of such re-enforcement. I, Forest Fiorini, will my position as target for Prof. Senter, the weight throwing marvel, to anyone possessing an ivory bean. Hot Bang! I, Eldon Thompson, hereby give ear to repeated entreaties and leave 1ny corner on the slang market to Miss Sprague, who I am quite sure will not indulge in it to excess. I, Howren Roach, alias Mamma's little angel child, who hearkens unto the saying the "children should be seen and not heard," do bequeath my reserved and submissive manner to Oliver Nelson, the Untamed. I, Jo Vierra, will my grace and ability as a dancer to Rudolph Valentino. 1, Viola Swanson,- do solemnly bequeath my happy smile to Lucile Coveney, under the sole condition that it be used to welcome in the belated students. I, Terry Laird, will by ability as a horse-shoe pitcher from way back to Pimlott, the Pug, my only rival. I, Anton Coelho, will in all sincerity, my unparalleled ability as an extemporaneous orator to Leo Akulian. lPage 271 I, Esther Ecklund, will my enchanting and seductive ways to Lygia Erdman, the coming Nita Naldi. I, Roger Quigley, bequeath my package of cigarettes to Ed Bernard, who in years to come will be able to look tif there are any leftj at them and remember his old pal Roger. I, Marion Collins, do now bequeath with all due ceremony my nicked and battered razor to Alonzo I-Ieimer, who will probably need to put it up for future use. I, Leone McBrayer, do hereby will and bequeath my loving looks and winning ways, which I have used so successfully on Eugene Rowley, and others, to Merle Landreth, the most popular boy in school. I, Myrtle Lindberg, will my affection for Mr. Nichols to Willie Richards, hoping that he may profit by the same. I, Pearl Colburn, do leave my name to the rest of the family, as I will have no further use for it in the near future. I, Alfred Alstrom, leave my trousers to "Shorty" Elsen, who some day might grow into them. I, Lauren Sunderland, "Wally" Reid's only successor, do hereby discard and bequeath my Grecian profile to Truman Potter. I, Earl Richards, leave my million dollar feet to Erma Brock, a coming ballet dancer. I, Clifford Swanson, do hereby submit to the insistent requests of a certain party and bequeath my sister, Gladys Swanson, to Louis Sweet. I, Robert Stille, will the typing championship to Francis Bluett, my only rival. I, Eldon Carlson, who deals out unwavering justice to friend and foe alike, leave and bequeath my judicial ability to the judges of the Supreme Court of the U. S. I, Roy Vann, do hereby transmit my beautiful blush, which has duly served me in time of need, to my bosom friend, Opal Merman. I, Dee Kimzey, the most bashful boy in school, will this great asset to Tommy Whistler, who is greatly in need of such a restriction. I, Audrey Humble, do now submit my sparkler to the amalgamated window pane company on account of the scarcity of glass. I, Herman Trieveiler, will my large collection of neckties and stiff collars to Ernest Roberts. I, Clifford Harrington, will my ability in the mile to Elbert Smith, who, coupling it with that of his own will surely win honors for the coming Seniors of '24. I, Chrissie Woolcock, will my wide Irish brogue and popular lips to Addie Barricklow,-who will appreciate and use them to advantage. I, Alice Hendrickson, will the honor and subsequent pleasure of con- cocting the class prophecy to who may be so lucky f?J. I, Orval Crowell, do hereby will and bequeath my pugilistic supremacy to Francis Tyke, our four round wonder. fPage 281 I, Irma Williams, will my reckless and speedy driving to Prof. Nichols. I, Evelyn Lund, will and bequeath my pull with Miss Grant to Muriel McAuliffe, hoping that she may derive as much enjoyment therefrom in the future as I have in the past. I, Melvin Sjogren, will my Irish name to Thomas O'Brien, the Swede. I, Anna Housten, will my natural complexion and radiant smile to the Egyptian Sphinx. I, Eugene Rowley, do now bequeath my Ford and careful driving to my little brother, Everett. I, Newell Service, will my clever witticisms to Roy Hedstrom. I, Mildred Booth, will my French lingo to Arthur Williams, the Spanish marvel. I, Vaughn Earp, will my ability of interpreting complex thought into intelligible English to Miss De Lapp, who may then be able to lucidate clearly. I, Lester Thompson, leave my much treasured bottle of bandoline to Pete Palmer, who, it appears, is very much in need of the same. I, Nadine Pimlott, will my aristocratic reserve and fiendish desire to criticize to Carmen Olson, who no doubt will use it to good advantage in disclosing the latest scandals of her fellow schoolmates. I, Elvira Kullander, do hereby will my golden tresses to old annex to use as a beard to give it dignity even in old age. I, Elston Ahlberg, will my ability in I-listory to Evangeline Carlson, who is greatly in need of the same. I, Clark Allison, having become tender hearted, refuse to longer terrify poor fishes, both large and small, and leave this former wicked pleasure to Vesta Chivington. I, Helen Sheld, still wishing to retain the love and affections of Erle Henrikson for some time to come, can only will the remembrance of that little girl from Keyes. l, Gladys Radantke, having exhausted the 600 pages of "Effective Va1nping" will this wonderful book to Melba Coveney. I, Ethel Soderstrom, do now leave my unique musical talents to 'Richard Steele, the songbird. I, Merrill Swenson, will my skill, ability and endurance in all heated student body discussions to Lamar Jackson. I, Herbert Zipser, do will my football suit and all other track parapher- nalia, to Elmer Elsen, 1ny ambitious competitor. I, Jeanette Johnson, do will my position as twin sister to Marian Sandberg to Carolyn Knutsen, an enterprising applicant. We, Waunita Edmonston Jorgenson and Curtis McKenzie, do hereby bequeath our ability in doing the extreme Chicago to Gladys Carnes and Lawrence Mead. I, Christine Kraft., having thoroughly read, absorbed, and successfully LPage 291 applied, will the 800 pages or more of Harper's "Never Fail Reducer," to Lloyd Hayward. We, Anna Ahlberg and Mabel Beauchamp, do hereby will in full our controlling interest in the notorious Lars Erickson cabaret in Frisco to Clesta Conner and Evelyn Larson. I, Carl Bergstedt, will my Jewish Packard to Julia Gilliland, hoping that she may thus better enjoy her many happy hours with Fred Stoy. I, Fred Carlson, having satisfied mean disposition by persisting in writing personal slams for the Tribune, do hereby will this remarkable ability to John Peterson. I, Enoch Ornberg, do will to Karl Claes my ability to ditch Pop Ratzell'S fifth period study hall. I, Ralph Hawk, do will my ability to put the shot to Harold Larson, the long distance discus thrower. I, Elizabeth Baily, leave my inheritetd ability to comprehend Spanish to Sylia Bryer, who will undoubtedly appreciate my generosity. I, Russell Bisnet, will my knack of using correct and high flown diction, to Ethel Gilliland, who can use it to advantage in free hand drawing. I, Guy Chappel, bequeath my weekly visits to the Modesto Skating Rink to Miss Grant, the skating champion. I, Albert Johnson, will my arrow collar hair comb to Daddy Ray. I, Bessie Paxson, will in full my seven subjects to Ted Hohenthal, Senior, some day to be. I, Edward Larson, do will my 1890 Overland to the Turlock Junk Co., who, it is rumored, is running out of the same. I, Eleanor Tracy, do will my tennis racket and form in said game to Molla Mallory, hoping that she may improve by next year. I, Leonard Larson, leave my coal black eyebrows to Linda Berglund. I, Clifford Lilyquist, leave, will, and bequeath my inherited ecclesi- astical tenderness to Arvid Klint, the would-be "hard" guy. I, Bertha Simms, do now leave my meek, gentle and conscientious nature to Bessie Busanio, next year's football star. I, Dorothy Smith, will to my little sister Gertrude, my high standinv with the faculty. I, Inez Swanson, will my six-piece beauty attainer to Gladys Coveney, the Vamp. I, Ruth Logan, will the sole right of taking my sister out to Everet' Rowley. A We, Marvel Gran, Lois Wilcox and Francis Grubb find it necessary to retain our charms and other facultids, as we intend to join Ziegfield's Follies, and only will the chewing gum beneath our desks to Miss Smith. I, Donald Ratzell, will my ability as a kangaroo in the high jump to Geme Gaston. I, Florence Holmgren, will my much treasured dimple to Leroy Leedom, the male flapper. I LPage 301 I, Dorothy R. Peterson, will my seat in shorthand to Ina Olsen, with all the consequent trials and tribulations. I, Jean Clayton, will 1ny "Pierce Coop" to Abe Zipser, who may then effectually court Hazel Arnold. I, Emma Holgren, will my 72 inches of athletic structure to Evelyn Larson, the vocal athlete. I, John Claes, do will my two-wheeled velocipede to Peggy Clark, who may then be able to catch the Hatch bus. I, Mildred Bodin, now will one of my warmest dresses to the Flying Mercury in the study hall. I, Florence Green, will my thinnest dress to Lenore Bobost, hoping that it will match her thin Romeo. I, Abner Crowell, will my ability to step with all the girls at once and get away with it to Truman Potter. We, Austin Morrison and Eugene Raney, will our unparalleled ability at playing pooling on the veneered surface of the Physics room tables during class period to anyone who can accomplish the feat. I, Ruby Post, will my ability of getting lessons without studying them to Herbert Ferguson. I, Vernon Jaeger, do now will my childish laughter to Leonard Wymer, who, in turn, wills it to anyone who can reproduce it. I, Helen Lundgren, will my ability to cook cornbread fsouthern stylej to Miss Badgely. I, Edith Crampton, leave my large collection of green garments, etc., to this school for use on St. Patrick's day. I, Evelyn Kane, will 1ny love of a good time to anyone promising not to be more popular than I have been. I, Glen Goddard, will my irresistible vamping methods to some forlorn wall-flower. I, Agnes Zimmerman, will the 100,000 rubles allowed me by the court to Miss Evans to buy a package of peanuts. I, Grace Robertson, do will my remarkable collection of fine film to Edward Bernard. I, Anna Larson, do now will my height to Dick Crane for use as an aerial for his radio. We, Myrtle Larson, Francis Leedom, Anna Trieveiler, and Ebba Hult- man, the pulchra quartet, will our ability to indulge in non-harmonious melodies, ideas, etc., to the faculty. We, Merrill Swenson and Newell Service will our now exhausted medula oblongatas, which we have used unsparingly in our voluntary help in concocting this will to our unfortunate successors. To execute and receive complains of this will, we, the Senior Class of 1923, appoint Leroy Nichols. M. C. COLLINS '23. lPage 311 C1358 Prophecy cess of1923 p AVING had so many strange adventures in foreign lands, I had resolved to spend the rest of my days in peaceful enjoyment of the quiet domesticity of my home. But when I received so excellent an opportunity of accompanying Captain Stanwood on a trip to Africa and the Antarctic I accepted despite the pleadings of 1ny wife. We left England September 21, 1940, flying above water rather than the land, because of the greater uniformity of the air currents. The Captain and I relieved each other in controlling the plane, and we sailed along at a good rate, the monotony of the hours varied only by the three times that we partook of the concentrated foods brought with us. At dawn of the following day We perceived ourselves to be flying above land, but near the shore. Our speedometer registered eleven thousand two hundred thirty-four miles. We were a bit uncertain of our where- abouts. 'Looking around we suddenly noticed a small speck in the dis- tance gradually growing larger. Focusing the glasses on it revealed a high speed plane apparently pursuing us. Connecting up the radio we soon got the message. "Alightg you are under arrest!" Too astonished to do anything but comply, we were soon resting on the quiet water of the little harbor, together with our pursuer. ,The man from the other plane was no less surprised than we, when he learned that we were from England. However, he decided we would have to "tell it to the judge." So we were conducted ashore and into court. The officer, Fred Carlson, by name, explained that we had exceeded the 2500 feet eleva- tion speed limit by fifty-eight miles, our speed having been three hundred miles per hour. He also stated that we were foreigners, so the court exacted no penalty. Having dismissed our case the judge dropped his dignified mien and became very affable, inviting us to visit him in his home. The card he gave us bore the name H. Zipser. That evening we visited his home and accepted his invitation to remain as his guests during the remainder of ourcstay in the community. From our discussion l learned that we had happened into a most extraordinary community. Allowing for his natural pride, I was never- theless most favorably impressed by his account of his country's history. The colony had been organized and settled under the leadership of Roger Quigley, Merrill Swenson and Hovvren Roach, some fifteen years ago. The judge was of the firm conviction that the germ of inspiraiton for fPage 321 such a venture had been implanted in their minds when they were but carefree youths in school. Under the conscientious instruction of Mrs. Pulcifer and Mr. Nichols their study of United States History, Civics, Economics and Sociology had awakened in them a realization of the evils of the economic and political systems, in which they lived. Their conse- quent discontent, and the realization that to attempt reform was futile, they had gathered their followers and departed. This flourishing, inde- pendent, remote little nation was the result. In general the government was patterned after the United States, but with, to quote the judge, "the elimination of all of its disadvantages." As proof of its prosperity, there existed no multi-millionaires, nor were there any charitable institutions, since there was no need for them. The government owned and operated all public utilities at a sufficient profit to exempt the people from all but a very slight tax. Their present executive, who was one of the aforementioned leaders, Merrill Swenson, was serving a second term. One of the other two, Howren Roach had been speaker in the Senate for many years, resigning recently to pursue the less fatiguing profession of auctioneer. The next day we went with him to the courts. In the Superior Court I was much interested in the proceedings of a trial of a criminal case. The accused was one Leonard Wejmar, dairyman, and rather a rough looking individual, accused of wilfully employing the obsolete method of sterilizing all milk containers by steam instead of the vacuum system, legally recognized as the only sanitary method. The lawyer for the defense was Miss Dorothy Hoover, and the prosecuting attorney Mr. Lilyquist. Being curious about the classes that the jurors might repre- sent, I inquired and found them to be Antone Coelho, musiciang Clark Allison, mechanic, Herman Triewieler, farmerg Terry Laird, chauffeurg Mrs. Waunita Edmonston Ui, teacher of aesthetic dancingg Ruby Post, nurseg John Claes, electrical engineer, Esther Eklund, stenographerg Orvil Crowell, pugilistg Enoch Ornberg. retired coal dealer, Viola Swanson, telephone operator, and Leone McBrayer, an authoress. The witnesses for the defense were Elston Ahlberg and Carl Bergstedt, assistants at the dairy. The witnesses for the plaintiff were Edward Larson, an official inspector, and Miss Frances Leedom, a chemist in the milk department of the city laboratories. The presiding judge was Miss Irma Williams. The intricate detail of the case soon caused my interest to lag. Next I visited the court of domestic relations. I took occasion to inquire of a pale, solemn little lady at the desk concerning the divorce rate in this singular country. Having learned to expect the unusual I was not sur- prised to learn that it was approximately two and one-half percent. She explained that while the divorce laws were very lenient, it was difficult to get married, and impossible to do so in secret. One had to pass certain compatability examinations to get the necessary license. She fl later learned from Judge Zipser that her name was Miss Anna Houstonj fPage 331 allowed me to look at the various records. Among the divorces the most recent one had been granted to a Mrs. Gladys Radantke Percivale, on the grounds of incompatability. Miss Houston volunteered the information that "he was one of these lounge-lizards with a bit of black down on his upper lip, fancy cigarette holders and manicured finger nails." Appar- ently she sympathized with the lady. Among the marriage records, there had been five entries that morning. The last was that of Jeanette Johnson t.o A. Gameguy. Miss Houston told me that the lady was a leader among women's clubs. Leaving the courts I walked aimlessly along the city street wondering how Captain Stanwood was enjoying the trial of the dairyman. Coming to a cafe I realized that I was hungry, so entered and enjoyed a delicious lunch. There were no waiters in evidence but instead the food was or- dered from the kitchen by means of a speaking tube comprising a small telephone system, each table being connected with the kitchen. The food was then dropped down a sort of dumb waiter shaft which suddenly appeared above the table and having deposited the edibles, quickly dis- appeared. When I had eaten and paid my bill, which latter was done by means of a contrivance much like a pay telephone, I made note of the location and name of the place feeling that I should like to come again. Its exceedingly appropriate name was Calorie Cafe and its proprietors were Lillian Gaylord and Melvin Sjogren. I decided in favor of some light entertainment. So down the street I went till I encountered a motion picture. As it seemed to be showing a good program I went in. The picture was "The Athletic Mind," taken from the book by the same name whose author was Marion Collins. He, I afterwards learned, was a writer of most extraordinary novels. Starring in the film was Myrtle Lindberg supported by Roy Oyer. The pictures were in colors, of course, and the most delicate tints were brought out perfectly. Needless to state the pictures were not silent, but "speaking," and in this respect were distinct and most excellent in expression of the voice. The acting was good, due largely no doubt to the skill of the famous director Helen Lundgren. Lighter entertainment followed but the only number worthy of note was a hexagon dance, a most fantastic and exhilarating expres- sion of art. The premier danseuse, according to the programme, was Eleanor Tracy and her partner was Forest Fiorini. When the judge arrived home that evening he brought us what proved to be invitations to a ball to be given by Mr. Clifford Harrington, a cele- brated author and artist. The judge informed us that this Mr. Harrington held such a function annually and that it was really a gathering of the intellectuals of the state. I spent the next day in the quiet of the judge's home and gardens. looking forward with keen anticipation to the evening. Anticipation, however, did not wholly occupy my mind, for the judge's garden proved to be most interesting. Observing a gardener at Work among some lPage 341 plants, I inquired if he were the designer of the gardens. "Oh, no," he replied, "I am Joe Vierra, the gardener. Miss Pimlott is the designer." He then proceeded with much pride to point out many interesting features of the garden. Eventually the evening arrived and we departed for the home of Mr. Harrington. The green and gold ball room where the guests were assembled impressed me with the cultured taste of the owner. He proved to be a man of interesting personality, given to few Words, but an excellent listener. The first of the guests whom I met was Mr. Vaughn Earp, a professor at the local university. I learned that he had proven the prac- tical application of the theory of the fourth. dimension and was success- fully teaching its principle. Another man, a most lengthy gentleman, was Mr. Alfred Alstrom, famous in journalistic circles, and as author of "The Ethics of the Question." I had an interesting discussion with a little lady who had written a history of the World War of 1914-1918 in twelve volumes, name was Miss Agnee Zimmerman, and I resolved to read her history if it were only half so interesting as she. With her was a Miss Ruth Logan, who was head of the Educational Department of the state. I met many more interesting individuals. For instance, there was Albert Johnson, the famous cartoonist, and Vernon Jaeger, the electrical engineer, noted for his radio improvement which made possible the broadcasting of more than one message at a time, without conflict. Soon the dancing began, and when I deplored the fact that their dances differed sufficiently from ours to cause me lack of confidence, Miss Bevans, whom I met earlier in the evening, offered to help me. She informed me that she was the State Superintendent of the Kindergarten Department of Education. She introduced me to a Miss Helen Gallison, who was a daily commuter to an insignificant town on the coast of Africa, where she superintended a native gang of pearl divers. During an interval in the dancing our host introduced Mlle. Woolcock, prima donna, who sang most divinely several selections from the opera in which she was to lead during the coming season. She was accompanied on the piano by the noted musician and composer, Miss Colburn. The charm of Miss Woolcock's personality expressed itself perfectly in her voice, and facial expression as she sang. Incidentally, I saw Capt. Stan- wood dancing with her later in the evening and there was on his counte- nance a rapt expression, the like of which I had not deemed possible. Captain Stanwood is a handsome man, not in the fashionable, precise way, but in a hearty, wholesome manner that is appealing at all times. But to resume-eventually we went in to supper. My partner was a vivacious young lady by the name of Mrs. Audrey Humble Dick. She informed me that she was from an outlying district where she and her husband owned a fruit ranch. They raised seedless pomegranates, which Mr. Dick had perfected. She also stated that it was a nuisance living out LPage 351 so far. Why, this very evening, while enroute to the ball, she had been arrested for parking over five minutes in an air pocket! The supper consisted of many courses. The food itself was a mystery to me, but very edible. For instance, one dish which appeared to be baked trout in some fancy sauce, proved to be a gelatin and fruit cocktail, and what I was sure was a baked apple surrounded by mushrooms fan extra- ordinary combinationl turned out to be an apple stuffed with meat encircled by little pasties. Mrs. Dick informed me that the chef who had constructed these dishes was none other than Miss Francies Grubbe, who commanded a stupendous salary for her art in pastry. The meal was served by small girls dressed like fairies, who flitted about almost as quickly as those ethereal beings. I soon perceived, however, that they were greatly assist- ed in their flitting by roller skates on their feet. The noiselessness and dexterity with which they got about was a.1nazing. Observing my keen interest in the demure little 1niss who served me, Mrs. Dick remarked, "Isn't she sweet? She is the daughter of Erle Hen- rikson. Of course, you have heard of him-the famous bacteriologist who has recently written a book on "The Breath of the Bacillef' The little girl filling the glass of the bewhiskered gentleman at the next table is a twin sister to this one." Then I asked who the bewhiskered gentleman might be. "Oh," she replied, "he is the uncle of Miss Bessie Paxson, a noted architect, who, I believe constructed the plans of this very build- ing." It was certainly a credit to her. When we had finished the last course, our host rose and introduced the first speaker of the evening, Mr. Eugene Raney, an eminent astron- omer. Mr. Raney spoke briefly on the recent advance of science in the various branches, mentioning among other things the discovery and isola- tion of the last of the chemical elements by the noted chemist, Miss Alice Hendrickson. Miss Bertha Simms, famous as a writer of tragedies and as a critic of art and literature, followed with an interesting talk on the latest phases in those arts. Among others she mentioned briefly the fren- zied free-verse of a newly discovered poet, Lauren Sunderland, and the satirical masterpieces of the playwright, Mabel Beauchamp. While we were returning home I casually 'remarked to Captain Stan- wood, "Beautiful voice--Miss Woolcockf' "Yes, indeed," was his quick response, "charming lady." "Who was the lady at your left, during supper?" I asked wondering if he had even been aware of any one other than the lady to his right. "Oh, that was Miss Dorothy Smith, she is private secretary to Mr. Newell Service, State Commissioner of Agriculture. She chattered an awful lot-witty as the deuce, though." "You seem to have made quite a 'hit' with the ladies this evening," I laughingly remarkedg "who was the willowy brunette dressed in plantom blue, with whom I saw you dancing earlier in the evening?" lPage 361 "Why, that was Miss Lund," he repliedg "rather demureg told me she was a model for the great costume designer, Madame Christine Kraft." S0 comfortably seated, each in the depths of an arm chair and pulling peacefully at our pipes we listened to a broadcasted sermon by the Rev. Engine Rowley. There were also several choir selections and a solo sung by Miss Marvel Gran. 'The service concluded with a prayer by Deacon Abner Crowell. That afternoon I went for a stroll with the judge, with whom Sunday afternoon walks were a habit. His occupation being of such a sedentary nature, he deemed the exercise beneficial. He said he had been quite an athlete in his younger days, but now he had grown quite heavy. We had walked a short distance when we reached the property adjoining that of the judge. A spacious, well built home, set far back among trees and surrounded by lawns and gardens, met my gaze. Observing my interest the judge remarked, "That is the home of Mr. Roy Vann, and over there- he indicated an equally beautiful home on the opposite side of the street- is where Mrs. Glen Goddard Dozemwell Many-orfu-Continuslie, prominent divorcee, lives." Walking on we came to a small park. The judge wished to enter and rest a bit. I noticed that he was puffing from the exertion of the walk, so I readily agreed. While he rested I wandered aimlessly about. Unex- pectedly, I came upon a statue of a young man in the uniform of ali aviator. A bronze tablet informed me that it was erected to Earl Richards, who had perfected a fuel-less oxide plane. Wandering on, I next came to a series of large cages in which were many strange birds. A caretaker was feeding them grain. As I watched the proceedings the judge joined me. "Good afternoon, McKenzie," he called to the caretaker, "How are the birds?" "How do you do," responded the niang "they are fine, sirg the Sparrow that was ill is quite well again." One evening ga few days later I accompanied the judge to a meeting of the local Welfare Committee to discuss plans of forcing the attention of the Legislature to the need of better traffic rules. Accidents had increased from an average of one-half to two-thirds persons per day. The chairman of the evening was an ex-senator, Mr. Dee Kimsey, a jovial and rather pompous fellow. Opening the meeting he called for the reading of the minutes by Secretary I-Ijelm. But Mr. Hjelm was evidently not there. As they were about to proceed without him the door opened and in walked a gentleman, very composed in manner, every detail of his clothes correct and each hair of his wavy red head in perfect order. . "Earlier than usual, Senator," remarked the chairman. tHe was not yet a senator, but was a candidate in the coming election.J Immediately there poured forth from Mr. I-Ijelm's lips such a flow of words constituting explanations for his tardiness, that altho I missed lPage 371 part of their import, I felt somewhat awestricken at his volubility. He then read the minutes and the meeting proceeded. A certain Dr. Eldon Carlson presented a brief of what he considered suitable points in framing their petition. In the discussion, a man named Ratzell, a prominent detective, asked numerous questions, but at length he approved it, pointing with good logic to its merits. It was further supported by Mr. Francis Bergstrom, a prominent banker in the city, and Miss Lois Wilcox, a local attorney. But their views were opposed by no less a person than Mr. Quigley, the chief commissioner of Water and Power, who offered an amendment. The task of getting signatures to this petition to be presented to the legis- lature, yet remained, and I offered my assistance in this. So the next morning I set out in an optimistic 'mood to explore the district that had been assigned to me for canvassing. A little lady in a blue dress answered my summons at the first house. When I had explained my mission she readily signed putting down the name, Mrs. Florence Green-Anderson. ln the space following which was labeled "Occupation," she wrote, "Housewife" At the next house a tall, sad lady signed the name, Ebba Hultman, Missionary. It was proving very interesting work, and the variety of occupations was amazing. A few of the more interesting ones were: Elvira Kullander chiropractic doctor. Della Brown, private secretary to Eldon Thompson, whom she in- formed me was a manufacturer of children's toys. Inez Swanson, a saleslady in a battery Works. Elizabeth Bailey, a postmistress. Mildred Bodin, stenographer. Edith Crampton, social servcie worker in Turlock, California, U. S. A., to which place she commuted daily. Florence Holmgren, gymnastics instructor. Anna Ahlberg, matron in the only orphanage of the state. Emma Hollgren, assistant matron. Mrs. Anna Treiweiler-Jones, housewife. Lennard Larson, editor of "The Modern Woman's Magazine." Evelyn Kane, kindergarten teacher. Austin Morrison, wholesale grocer. Helen Sheld, head buyer in a department store. Ethel Soderstrom, lecturer on psychology. Robert Stelle, optometrist and oculist. Mildred Booth, editor of fashion and etiquette page of "The Modern Women's Magazine." Ralph Hawk, fish merchant. Clifford Swanson, official State Surveyor. Dorothy R. Peterson, Commissioner of Garbage Collection. I was lPage 381 much interested in the means of disposal et., all of which she explained to me. Collected in containers lined with waxed paper, it was scientific- ally dehydrated and finally sold as fertilizer. Myrtle Larson, head of a private institution for aged and infirm cats. At the end of that week Ca.ptain Stanwood suddenly developed a great desire to quit this place and in spite of my almost tearful remonstrances he firmly insisted upon our departure. I was in his room at the time of my remonstrating and while there, I noticed a very small box lying on his dressing table. On the cover was printed the name, Guy Chappell, Jeweler-and I wondered- On October 8th, amid enthusiastic cheers of the throng gathered to bid us farewell, we departed. We had a pleasant and uneventful trip arriving in England the following evening. I have not seen Captain Stanwood since but this morning's radio news informed me that Captain Stanwood and his bride, who was Miss Wool- cock of Atlantis, are leaving for this modern Utopia, where they intend to make their home. Still Remember Me QAS spoken by Turlock Hij EPART from out my portals, But till thou art immortal, Oh, still remember me. When the love thou seekest To thine heart is sweetest, Oh, then remember me. Other rooms will hold thee, Lovelier scenes enfold thee 5 All the scenes that bless thee, Sweeter far may be. But no matter where you roam, Be it near or far from home, Oh, still remember me. ECNEROLF '23, fPa.ge 391 Calendar of Events 1922-1923 September 18, 1922-School opens. The wandering tribes again assemble for nine months of ha.rdf'?J study. We all feel like Freshmen again trying to find our way from one new coop to another. September 20-New teachers-welcome! The Misses Hestwood, Dins- dale, Hohenthal, White and Ferguson and Mr. G. P. Senter. September 22--New Commissioners take charge of assembly. October 2-First football game. Sacramento defeats Turlock Hi- School with a score of 18-0. Cheer up! Our eleven are just getting warmed up. October 4-The Cafeteria promises good eats-"Yum-yum." October 13-School holds Freshman Reception at the old site campus. The Frosh were quite fussed, but behaved nicely. October 16-Advanced Spanish Class organizes Social Club. October 20-Paul Swager is taking care of his voice-for he was elected yell leader of the Seniors. October 26-"Helen Keast, a Sophomore, moves to Santa Rosa." October 28-"A swell Affair"-Lancaster lost a tooth. Beware! Leave him alone until he recovers! October 30-Miss Spencer organizes a Dramatic Club. November 7-Miss Helen Halliday is honored by a dinner party on her birthday-'fSweet Sixteen" 1? '? ? '?J November 11-Modesto defeats Turlock in football at Modesto. November 13-Girl Reserves give Mother and Daughter banquet. November 16-Vigilance committee is organized and work begins. November 30-Thanksgiving day-Madera and Turlock football game. Turlock scores 33 to Madera's-"O", We notice that Heimer has undoubtedly caught new "Jane" December 4-Football hero eats too much turkey at the Madera banquet. Ask Paul Swager about his dreamf?J December 11-Victim of cigarettes demonstrates and lectures on the evil of the "coffin nail." LPage 401 December up those who December December 20-Prof. declares that detention is a- good place to wake can't wake up in time in the morning to report to roll call. 21-Science Club is organized. Miss Hyde takes charge. 22-All girls are worrying-"ah, dear, Christmas almost here and not a single gift started." December 23-School Closes for Christmas vacation. December 25-"Silence!" Not a sound stirs the lifeless schoolhouse. December 29-Sophomore History contest results in the entertain- ment of the 7th period class by the unlucky losers-3rd-8th period classes. January 3-Back again, standing on good resolutions and reaching for the highest marks we can get on those mid-term report cards. January 5-First basket ball game. Turlock defeats Patterson. January 12-Turlock's hidden talent. The "Shriek"-fAlonzoJ-is learning golf. January 18 by one basket. January 22 January 25 down the hall- January 28 -McPherren tips the score off fine. We win from Modesto Good work "Mac." -Miss Barker visits Turlock Hi. -Bow-Wow! From now on we'll hear them all up and Mr. G. P. Senter included. -Even the faculty swings a wicked racket. We all have the tennis fever. January 29 -Local Quintet loses to San Jose Hi. February 4-Report cards. Did you flunk? February 5-Mid-term Freshmen learn what "Blue Monday" means. February 7 Hurrah for H2 -G. P. Senter teaches graphical formulas in Chemistry. O. February 8-Girls defeat Los Banos in basketball. February 11-"Eddy" and "Dick"-cheer up! Thirteen miles isn't so very far away. February 16-Our basket ball sharks play Modesto.-Sad, but trueg defeat for Turlock is the outcome. February 19 -Freshman manner books are in circulation. February 21-Series of banquets are given to Mothers by Domestic Science girls. lPage 411 February 2-Senior play--"Come out of the Kitchen." February 28-Horseshoe is the latest rage among the younger genera- tion. March 1-Louisa Conner quits school. Not enough excitement in this studious life for her. March 5-Domestic Science girls give the Trustees a banquet. March 6-Girl Reserves give "Japanese Tea." March 17-Everyone looking green! Junior Class St. Patrick's party. Also Frosh Class party. March 22-Inter class track meet. The new bleachers initiated. March 23-Miss Graham exhibits the Latin students' ability by featur- ing a farce. March 23-April 2-VACATION! April 4-What makes it rain so much? April 6-Senior party. April 9-Senior "Bum Day." A good time and a picnic lunch enjoyed by Senior members. April 19-Track meet in Modesto. Turlock takes part. April 13-Junior Class Play, "Daddy Long Legs." April 20-Lamar Jackson and Roy Oyer go to Sacramento to debate. May 4-May festival. May 4-Sophomore picnic at Del Puerto Canyon. May 18-Hi-School Operetta. "The Feast of the Red Corn." May 20-Baseball-the rage. June 14-Commencement! Do We feel diferent? Oh no! Only a little more dignified. OMA LAWSON '24, IPage 421 The Charge of the Light Brigade ALF a mile, half a mile, Half a mile eastward, All along canal drive, Drove the Six Hundred. As a daring driver led, "Open mufflers wide," he said. To the grounds of Turlock Hi, Drove the Six Hundred. Then came the Ford Brigade: All those that Henry made, Despite the fact the roughness Onward they thunderedg Their's not to miss a bump, Their's not to stop a thump, Their's but to sit and jump. Into the grounds of Turlock Hi, Drove the Six Hundred. gI'6W, Ratzell to right of them, Nichols to left of them, Lucille in front of them Volleved and thundered. Splashed up with 1n11d and Yet came they not on time. For their admittance slips Came the Six Hundred. slime, Why soon their Fords decayed, As this wild charge they made, No one did wonder. What was the gain they made? Look at the price they paid, Foolish Six Hundred. JOHN CLAES '23. lPage 431 IW 959-:Il JUNIOR CLASS -rimm- "Hitch Your Wagon t.o a Star" 6 6 LL ABOARDV' Wayne Johnson, first driver, shouted to the passen- . gers. The Star of Knowledge, to which the wagon of '24 was hitched, started slowly at first so that its passengers might become accus- tomed to riding in the Sky of Education. Someone had to keep the wheels greased and help select the officers, so Miss Badgely and Mr. McCready were chosen as guardians of the wagon. With their advice, Theodore Hohenthal was made second driver. Agnes Zinnnerman kept the log and also the roll to see that no one fell overboard. Kellis Grigsby safeguarded the passengers' surplus money. Harold Elsen taught them how to yell the "Mess Call? John Peterson kept the "High School Tribune" filled with tales of the voyage. And Franklin Carlson sat at the wireless to hear the wishes of the Executive Board. I V On March 17 the Star stopped at Amusement Park and held a party. The influence of this party made learning impossible and again the passengers wished to rest. Instead they came to the biggest task of the trip-the .lunior Play. After hard efforts, an all-star cast, trained by Miss Spencer, gave the play, "Daddy Long Legs," April 23. One day before landing Agnes Zimmerman sent an S. 0. S. to the Seniors. The result was the annual Junior-Senior Banquet. Back to the waiting Star, and back to the studies and duties, they reluctantly went. Not for long, though. Play time so soon? Yes, weary, knowledge-torn C?l brains demanded a change. This time it was in the form of a picnic. Early in the morning of that summer day, the merry crowd crowded into still more crowded trucks for a glorious day of fun. On June 15, the passengers and crew bade their faithful Star farewell for three months, assuring their beautiful guide that they would be back again to soon complete the last lap of the course. IONE RAPP 224. lPage 451 ni 4 F 922,11 IEW SOPHOMORES "A 'f?l32l+ . C iii r . 1,1 if W ' . 6351: f ff ' ' ' . ':' 'u ' ,".v"f'Tf" 1 t' ' V 1 Q it .a , 1 K vt I4 l 535' ' m .L H 1 Mm un' R, ' XX A G KW - 3 Mx .5 I i'+-g.-.g Q ' - fl A 5 ff 451 F ,w rift?-La-:QL-32.-'-1-Y lg '- X + , . - - -if N If '-Lf-"'1 - : f g X153 L - - " d-' g lx lf! I -1g'g , .Nz L X--- pf' -H - C. C N wi is Sophomore "AH Report N THE lovely moon of September gathered the mighty tribe of '25. The first council fires were lighted in the Great Wigwam, otherwise the Turlock Union High School. Since a person of keen judgment and venerable knowledge was needed to guide the tribe, Leroy Holbrook was chosen, and Gladys Swanson was made assistant to the chief, or vice president, in the words of the white man. For their scribe and recorder of all meetings, they named Gladys Coveney. Louis Sweet guarded well the tribe's treasures. Clifford Wolfe was elected to fill the position of representative at the High Councils when all the tribes assembled to discuss many weighty matters. Then the tribe decided to elect Ross Meade to relate for the Great Wigwam's paper the acts worthy of note. Occasionally, the tribe of '25 was aroused by great emotions such as joy or anger, and at such times they were led in a war dance by Herbert Ferguson. In the spring when all was greene1'y and blossoms, the four tribes met in a great festival and celebration. On the' grounds surrounding the Great Wigwam were held various sports in which the young braves were spurred on by the fair maidens to greater exploits of valor and courage. Many praiseworthy feats were performed by '25's gallant warriors, and they received due Commendation. Later in the spring, one big powwow was held at Del Porto Canyon. The sturdy braves and fair maidens of this tribe are thoroughly appre- ciative of the work they have accomplished and are eagerly looking for- ward to the further greater works that they will undoubtedly perform in the future, GLADYS COVENEY '25. lPage 471 Sophomore "BH Report ' EY! Just a minute! We Sophomores have something we'd like to have you know. Last September We moved from the Methodist church to the High School. We immediately stuck our noses in the mysteries of Latin and Algebra, hoping to escape the hungry eye of the Sophomores. But we had no such luck, for we were initiated with the incoming Freshmen. We felt rather timid at first, but we soon got enough courage to have a class meeting at which we elected our officers as follows: Melba Goodin, presiclentg Dick Crane, vice presidentg Selma Lundell, secretaryg Rudolph Linquist, treasurer. Later Melba Goodin moved away and George Tyhurst was elected to fill her place. On February 5th we progressed from Freshmen to Sophomores, a step of which we were very proud. We elected new officers as follows: Thomas Donnelly, presidentg Melvin Thompson, vice president 3 Alice Dimberg, secretaryg Melba Coveney, treasurer 3 Robley Libby, yell leader. We entertained ourselves with a Valentine party to which we invited the Freshmen that just entered High School. Though there are but a handful of us we partake in all the events of the High School in a snappy manner. GERTRUDE SMITH ,26. fPage 481 Freshman "B" Report HE B Freshmen entered the Turlock Union High School on February 5, 1923, hoping to be a credit to the institution. We are not a very large class in number, being about thirty in all. Miss Ferguson helped us organize the class. We elected Louis Williams as president, Natalie Vartanian, vice president, Johnnie Williams, secretary, Billy Williams, treasurer, Virgil Olson, class representative, Norval Knutsen, class reporter and Ralph Knutsen, yell leader. A few weeks after entering school, we were given a welcoming recep- tion by the B Sophomores. The evening was spent in games and refresh- ments. The 'most thrilling event was the jiggingof Mr. Ratzell. The members of our class are very active both in school and outside. Some of the boys are going in for track and the girls also. Baseball is coming on and it is expected that some boys will enter. Even though we are a small class, we hope to 'show the rest of the students before we graduate, that quality makes up for quantity. NORVAL KNUTSEN. lPage 491 1 632,11 IOS FRESHMEN "A ,Sp WUQJI, XE, I K., 'X H -gfgf'-7 A X HMEN A as 1 -A -'Q ff' i J it g, el fx ,ly 'I X ff" ,f XX f"i ' T' 5 S "" X W Freshman "AH Report "RADIO" 66 H. J. Los Angeles broadcasting," that's not interesting. . 011, here we are, HT. L. K. Turlock broadcasting." The program this evening from T. L. K. will be a report from the Freshman class, entitled. Freshmen of Turlock High School surpass all other classes in brilliancy, industry and love of books.--Everybody listen! In September the year of 1922, one hundred a.nd forty-five of the most intelligent looking students entered Turlock High School. ' For a while they wandered around like sheep having no shepherd. Miss Smith, Miss Halliday and Miss White took pity on these lost children and suggested that we elect a shepherd to gather in the sheep. David Zipser was elected. He asked for some help so Lyle Jackson was asked to help him. This class finally became so business like that they gave Mary Strese the job of keeping track of all that occurred at their meetings. They also had a large amount of money lying around and Marjorie Sward was put in charge of it. Of course, this class had to take part in the school affairs so they sent James Miraglio up to represent them on the school's executive committee. Out of this Wonderful class Jack Kimzey was asked to put all Fresh- man affairs in the High School paper. That is all for tonight from "T. L. K." This station will close down for the time and will send on a higher wave length next year. Good-night, everyone, "Just one minute, please, here comes our yell leader, Merrill Hedmanf' "Freshmen A. 9 Rah's." MARY Y. STRESE. fPage 511 4 fe. si ,Fr ' S Sp A af- X . ff 3 if I: '-E a 5 E . 25 Just a Collar Button By M. C. Collins COLLAR button is a small object, too small in fact, possessing a stubborn and a very playful disposition. At very critical moments it often has a humorous streak and plays hide-and-seek with its exasperated possessor. This is just what happened when a certain young gentleman was dolling up to take his new girl to the theatre. He had on his best clothes, silk shirt, etc. His tie and collar, a hard one at that, were lying on the bureau. Picking up the fateful collar button, he made ready to insert it in its proper place. Then, remembering that he had left his tickets the had purchased box seats for the occasionl in his other clothes, he tossed the button toward the dresser. The button then felt one of those peculiar humorous attacks coming on. When it lit on the dresser it bounced off onto the floor. Then, quite naturally, the gentleman in question picked it up and again tossed it toward the bureau. When he got into the other room, however, he quite forgot what he had come for, so he returned. Upon reaching the bureau, the button was nowhere to be found. Where could it be? After a frantic search, he stopped to think. He remembered distinctly. He had placed the button on the bureau. He did want to wear that hard collar. Again he indulged in a futile hunt for the missing button. It certainly was peculiar how things could disappear around this house. Didn't he pick that button up and put it on the dresser? When he came back it wasn't there, was it? Where could it be? The more he looked at that nice, shiny, hard collar reposing on the dresser the more he wanted to wear it. He didn't feel dressed up without IPage 521 it. Then, after a period of standing on his tip-toes to look on the mantel where the button might possibly be, and of crawling on his hands and knees to peer under the bed, the dresser, and the couch, he condescended to wear hi-s soft collar. Just because he wanted to look his best some- thing had to happen. He had never seen it fail. After pinning the soft collar on to his shirt with a safety pin to the best of his ability, but by no means to his satisfaction, he happened to glance at the clock. What, five minutes of eight! He hurriedly brushed his trousers, which had gathered quite a bit of dust and had lost their fine crease during the recent half hour of fruitless search, donned his hat and coat, and hastened to the meeting place without a thought of the little collar button. Arriving at last, all out of breath, he found her looking at her wrist watch, wondering what had happened to her escort. It was too dark for him to catch the meaning glance she gave him that spoke as clearly as words. She thought him to be a fine fellow, keeping her waiting there all that time. Well, what had he to say for himself? "Oh," exclaimed the belated young man as soon as he had recovered his breath. "I can't tell you how sorry I am. Really it was quite unavoid- able for I los-," he checked himself just in time. He couldn't tell her that he had lost his collar button. That would have been absurd. "You what?" inquired the person at his elbow. "Oh, why, the fact is, she-it was just as I was going to say-er-X' "Yes," she replied. "Taxi drivers are a. very undependable lot," began he of the safety pin in desperation. "lt seems as though every bum who can't find a job becomes a taxi driver. I started out in time to get here two or tfhree times, but that driver got lost and couldn't find himself. He kept driving round and round until finally I had to tell him the way and then point it Out." "Why, you weren't in a taxi. You were walking when you met me." "Oh, I was. Wasn't I? Yes, yes, certainly. I forgot to tell you that that driver kept getting more reckless every moment. He seemed to take great delight in seeing how close he could shave the corner posts without taking off any paint. I came to the unanimous conclusion that the only sure way of getting here was to get out and walk, which I immediately did. Now you see that I was not at all to blame." "That's perfectly all right. I only arrived a few moments before you came up," gallantly ventured the girl. They went on in silence until they arrived at the theatre. "One of the girls told me that there is going to be an excellent act on tonight. Cobb 85 Dilb are supposed to have a host of good jokes and Misermy is reputed to be one of the best woman impersonators there is." "Glad to hear that," rejoined her latest victim. "I have the best se-," LPage 531 the word died a natural death in his throat. He had reached into his pocket and discovered that he did not have his tickets, that he had left them in his other clothes. They were at the theatre now, and due to his previous delay, he would not have time to return for them. What did he do? Not knowing anything else to do he fell in line. After a long wait he arrived at the ticket office. He dug down into his jeans and found-one lonely dollar. He had left his money in his other clothes. , Putting on a bold front he asked, "Will you accept a check?" "Yes, but only for the amount of the tickets." A Here was his chance. He again reached into his pocket and-where was his check book? In hi-s other clot.hes. "Have you a check book on the First National?" This tifme the answer was negative. "Give me two," he said, producing the dollar. She handed him two tickets and twenty cents. He didn't look at them. He didn 't dare. Where were the seats? ' A He showed them to the usher down stairs, thinking that she might make a mistake. She smiled sweetly and said, "Third balcony." He glanced at his newly acquired sweety to see how she took it. She was taken back. The idea of him taking her way up there. The elevator was out of order and so they took the stairs. Those certainly were three long flights of stairways. Quite the longest he had ever seen. "Do you think that we can hear anything way up there?" asked his companion. She had no idea of his predicament. "Well, you see it's like this,', started the escort. "I wanted to see how the stage looked and what its effect would be from a distance. This theatre is supposed to have the best coo sticks in town. That's what you call them, isn't it, coo sticks? I wanted to see if it was true. Besides we can be practically alone up there." He caught the full significance of the glance that might have been interpreted as follows: "I wish you would do your experimenting alone. As for the alone part, I'd just as soon be where I could see and hear what was going on." When they were ushered to their seats, they found them to be situated directly in front of two old ladies. Judging from what followed during the show he decided that one of them must be slightly hard of hearing, for the other took great delight in telling what she had caught of a previous witticism. They would both then indulge in laughter after the joke had been told several minutes before. Then, too, if they did not quite catch the meaning which lay behind one they spent several minutes discussing it in rather loud whispers which drowned the faint sounds which came from the far away stage. The actors looked like pigmies, squat and short. As for the efficiency of the coo sticks, that was never fathomed. fPage 541 From time to time the dismantled young man glanced furtively at his companion who sat throughout the performance without a word or com- ment of any kind. He didn't say anything, either, as there was nothing to say. He knew that she wanted to see the impersonator clearly and catch the witticisms of Cobb and Dilb, but neither was possible. His collar wilted, as much as soft collars do, and the pressure of that safety pin on the back of his neck was becoming unbearable. Near the close of the performance he ventured a remark. "Pretty warm up here, isn't it"? "Yes, quite," she replied in the coolest manner possible. He said nothing more until the end of the show. When they got out into the fresh night air, he quite forgot about his financial embarrassment, his only thought being to neutrralize the effect of him taking her up into the third balcony. "Let's get something coldj' he said. "All right. That will be just the thing. Ice cream after the show." This last remark was added and he thought it tainted with sarcasm. They entered an ice cream parlor and seated themselves in one of the many booths. She pushed the button and he settled back, thrusting his hands into his pockets, prepared to order something big. As he did so his hand came in contact with the twenty cents, all that he had with him. Just then the waitress arrived. The person across the table ordered something that called for exactly twenty cents. "And what will you have?" innocently inquired the waitress. "I, I don't believe I'll take any- thing. I don't feel very well all of a sudden." Quite naturally his companion registered sympathy and asked him what seemed to be the matter. He checked himself in the act of placing his hand on his pocket where the pocket book ought to be, and said that all of a sudden he felt kind of faint. She hastily ate her frozen dainty and they again eme1'ged into the fresh night air. "Now, we'll get a taxi and you can get home as soon as possible." The sympathetic girl took the thing in hand. She wasn't going to let. him suffer on her account. He stopped her in the act of haling a t.axi. "Don't bother about getting a taxi. I feel better already. Besides, a walk in this fresh, night air will do us both good." Again he had felt nothing in his pocket. "Just as you say, just as you say," acquiesced the puzzled girl. She couldn't quite make this young man out. He had taken her up to a third balcony where she couldn't hear or see anything. Then he had taken her to an ice cream parlor and then said that he wouldn't take anything for he felt rather queer inside and had better not eat anything. When she ventured to hail a taxi to get him home he had said that he felt better already. He had looked and seemed such a nice fellow at first, but what an oil can he had turned out to be. He must be a little off. fPage 551 After a long and all but silent walk in which both were taken up with their thoughts and reflections, they arrived at her door step. She sweetly told him that she had spent a wonderful evening, with all due sarcasm, of course, and he retraced that long sidewalk for want of a nickel to ride on the street car. VVhat he called himself and thought of himself that night as he prepared for bed would not be well to print. He was a fine fellow, he was. Never saw a fellow quite like him, nor anybody else to his knowledge. What would she think of him? She was a pretty nice girl, too. What could have caused him to forget his money, his tickets, and even his check book? He went over and switched off the light. On his return trip to the bed he stepped on something and hurt his foot. He reached down in the dark and picked it up. It felt like a collar button. Say, it was a collar button. The Compensation I. 66 HE poor fool, leaving his wife and children again to take up that damned prospecting," remarked a critical character standing with two companions in the doorway of a saloon in a small mountain town of the Rockies. "That guy's sacrificing his standing in the community, his friends, and even his wife and kids," joined a second person. "Ed's a good scout, but that prospecting idea of his has injured his mentality." "If Ed would have sense to stick to that job of his he would be making a good living all the year around," said the third man while puffing at his pipe. "That poor critter leaves his job just when he gets good and started and goes out to live all by himself without getting anything for it." Ed Berber passed on unheedful of these remarks. He was bound for the mountains again to spend the summer months prospecting in the Wolf Creek mining district. On the back of a burro beside which he was walking he had strapped the provisions and prospecting tools necessary for a three-months' stay in the hills. His outfit consisted partly of pick, shovel, skillet, blankets, gun and food. The little animal tottered along bravely under the burden to which she was subjected, the load swaying slightly from side to side as she started up the rocky path that led on to the depth of the vast stretch of mountains. Ed Berber himself was bur- dened with a heavy knapsack strapped to his back. fPage 561 This was Ed's sixth annual trip into the mountains in search of gold. Each fall he returned from these trips discouraged having received noth- ing for his labor in the hills except an apparent inspiration to return the following summer. He would return to his home town only to be sub- jected to the hatred of his family and the ridicule of his townspeople. His critics were still discussing the folly of Ed's search for gold when Ed disappeared with his burro around the bend in the trail which led to the Wolf Creek mining district. "Wonder what his wife will do about it this time?" queried the first man. "She darn near picked up and left last summer and she'll be sure to leave him this time." "As I said,'i rejoined the other, "Ed's a good scout and in the winter time he works hard to keep his family going. He's got two good-for- nothing sons to keep agoing beside his wife. It sure gets me why he wants to fool away three months of the year up in that wilderness. When experts declare the country up there to be all mined out, how the deuce can an ignorant prospector expect to find any gold there?" Ed would have been fortunate had his critics been as reasonable as these, but the majority of his neighbors and associates considered him extremely eccentric and even went so far as to sever social relationship with him. Had there been some encouragement for his efforts he might have been partly justified in his ideas, but as it was he was regarded with as much ridicule as if he were in search of the traditional pot of gold at the foot of the rainbow. Even had he had the support of his own family l1is difficulty would no doubt have been partly alleviated, but here he received less encouragement than from any other source. II. After the lapse of two months Ed seemed to be no nearer than before to the fabulous fortunes which some miners had years before encountered in the Wolf Creek district. The last bit of gold was long since considered to have been taken from that part of the country. The large companies who had operated the numerous mines in that district had been disbanded and the mines and claims abandoned. Ed had years before worked in one of the mines when the yield of gold in that district totaled millions of dollars yearly. No one seemed to know, however, what there was in that long abandoned territory that attracted the efforts of Berber. At the end of a day of patient but futile efforts at his labor Ed was sitting before the hearth of his little cabin, which he occupied when in the mountains, when he heard a knock at the door. Visits in that part of the country were few and far between. Many miles intervened between the nearest settlement. Startled by this unusual occurrence Ed hastily advanced toward the door. "Hope l didn't scare ye," sounded a familiar voice as the door opened. It was Ed's old friend, Ben, the stage driver. "I thought I'd ought to drop i11 and see you," continued Ben. "I just took a party of tourists up to fPage 571 Douglas Flats. My horses need a rest anyhow. It sure is rough driving down the rocky creek bed." "I was just wishin' someone would come along," greeted Ed somewhat sullenly. "A fellow darn near forgets what a white man looks like up here in the wilderness. What's goin' on at home?" Ben's face assumed a more serious aspect. "I guess your wife's gone and left ye. Said she was bound for Salt Lake City." This was evidently a surprise to Ed. Although he had many times been conscious of the threat, he had not expected it to actually happen. Without regarding the supper which he had started to prepare for his visitor, he sat down before the fire in silence. It was fully five minutes before any conversation was exchanged between the two. "If she would have stayed with it for another year," spoke Ed, "she wouldn't have left." "How come?" questioned Ben. "Well, I can't feature a woman leaving a man if he's worth a cold million." "You're speaking of Mrs. Rockyfeller, I suppose," laughed Ben. "You're not in the habit of seeing me pull a joke on anyone, are you?" answered Ed. "ln another year the Wolf Creek district will nearly be worth its weight in gold? Ben spoke gravely. "Ed, you've fooled away six years of your life on this foolish prospecting idea of yours. Experts proclaim this country to be a failure. Companies with piles of capital have gone bust on this very spot. How the deuce do you expect a fellow to believe in the silly notion of yours." "Keep your opinion to yourself," answered Ed. "Prepare to stay over night. I've got something I want to show you in the morning." The following 'morning found the two men standing at the edge of which was apparently an abandoned mine. Rusted cables, a couple wind- lasses, the remains of an old steam engine and several wheelbarrows were among the debris which lay on the rock piles at the edge of the shaft. Appearances seemed to indicate that the place had been one of activity years ago. "Look here, old top!" said Ed after several moments of silence, 'Tm going to take you into confidence about this prospecting idea of minef' A skeptical frown was Ben's only response. "Nineteen years ago," began Ed, "I operated the elevator in this mine for a salary of a dollar and twenty cents a day. It was a new mine and had attained as yet a depth of only five hundred feet without any sign of a discovery. The capital of the company was fast running out for lack of financial backing and the manager began to talk about closing the mine. They decided to run her to the end, however. One day they had a cave-in at the bottom of the mine which killed over a dozen men. l:Page 581 L l Lucky for me I had just gone up with a bucket of ore and was among the few who escaped the disaster. V "Six years ago it occurred to me to take a trip up to the place of these memories and as I gazed down into the fatal shaft I noticed that last bucket of ore which I had raised years ago, lying at the side of the tunnel. It had lain there undisturbed ever since the accident. As I recalled those memories I desired to bring with me a piece of the ore as a souvenir. I did so and had been nearly a day on the journey home when I stopped to examine the specimen. "Now listen, Ben! Here's the secret of my prospecting. In that piece of ore was lodged a nugget the size of a marble!" "Do you mean then that there is gold at the bottom of the shaft?" asked Ben. "Yes, sirg down at the very bottom of that shaft there is a vein of gold at the very place where that bucket of ore came from. For six sum- mers now I've been digging away to clear away the mess of that cave-in so that I might reach the place. Last week I came as far as I think I'1l ever get unless I get some help. The roof of the tunnel caves in as fast as I dig, so the only way to get any further is to detour into the solid rock for about thirty feet." "Why don't you blow away the rock with a couple sticks of dynamite?" questioned Ben. "Nothin' doing," answered Ed. "A stunt like that would cave in the whole mine and then I'd be further away than ever. What I want you to do is to stay and help me for a few days. I figure it's only about forty feet to the end of the tunnel and we can make that in a week easy. I'll give you one-third interest in the mine when we get it started. We can pan enough gold by hand to raise the necessary money to get the mine into regular running shape." Despite Ed's enthusiastic proposition Ben remained more skeptical than ever. "This idea of yours has gone to your head," replied Ben. "I'll stay and dig with you a few days just to be a good sport, but as to the interest in the mine, thatfs a joke." Progress through the solid rock at the bottom of the tunnel was slow. At the end of the third day, however, the men had gained nearly twenty feet. Ed was jubilant at the progress. Ben, however, was thoroughly disgusted. "I've had enough of this," he said to Berber as they came up to have lunch on the fourth day. "This is my last day at this." "Listen, Ben," pleaded Berber, "stay just two more days. I'11-I'll give you half interest in the mine." "The hell with the interest in the mine," replied Ben hotly. "What I want is five bucks a day for my work." "All right," urged Edg "I'l1 give you ten dollars a day for your work and fifteen for the next two days. As security take this watch. It's worth over a hundred dollars." lPage 591 After much coercion Ben was intruded upon to stay on the condition that he could keep the watch, but he refused to consider the interest in the mine. A suggestion toward this brought forth only a scoff from the old stage driver. Three more days of work brought the diggers to the goal. "I guess this is as far as we need to go," spoke Ed. "Thanks for the help. Sorry you won't consider a third interest in the mine. ln a couple of days I expect to trace that vein of gold." "You'll trace nothing," said Ben as he made ready to leave. Ben left much as a prisoner who has just been liberated from his prison cell. No doubt he secretly pitied the eccentricity of Ed Berber. He was now fully convinced that the hypothesis ofthe townspeople in regard to Ed's mentality was correct. Even Ben's horses, invigorated by the Week's rest, eagerly galloped down the trail with the coach, nearly threatening to upset the vehicle as it encountered rocks and bumps over the rough path. Ill. Berber did not return to the small town in the Rockies that fall. His absence did not arouse any alarm, however. The general supposition was that he had died in the hills and that his body had fallen prey to the numerous Cougars that roamed that part of the Rockies. In the doorway of a saloon one spring afternoon stood three men indulged in conversation. A keen observer would have noticed that they were the same trio who the previous summer had discussed the folly of a prospector's search for gold as he passed that corner with his burro. "What's all this machinery that's being shipped in lately?" asked the first man. "Nobody seems to know," responded the second man. "It may be for the smelter down by the river." "I heard," interrupted the other, "that it's mining machinery which is to be transportetd up to the Wolf Creek mining district. One of the mines up there, they say, has been found to contain rich deposits of gold." "I guess that's the reason, then, that these engineers Went up there last week," joined the first speaker. As the three men were thus discussing the mystery of sudden activity in the Wolf Creek mining district, a coach drove up in front of the hotel across the street from the saloon. Beside the coachman sat a valet who descended and opened the carriage door and escorted the occupant, who was a well dressed elderly man, into the hotel. Having tied his horses to the rail by the Walk, the coachman crossed the street toward the trio, who had now advanced toward the edge of the sidewalk. "Well, if it isn't old Ben, the stage driver!" ejaculated one of the men. "How come that you're the coachman for a high toned bird like that?" "It's me," greeted Ben. "How's everything in the old town?" lPage 601 "But," interrupted one of the three, "who the devil is that swell guy who rode in the coach?" "That swell guy in the coach," answered Ben, "is Mr. Edwin Berber, Esquire. He's living in Denver on a clean fifty million which he got in return for his claim on the Independence mine." ALFRED ALSTROM '23. Hpopn Crockett Retiree G6 OYS, this is my last fire," said "Pop" Crockett. 'Tm going to retire." "Pop" was removing the grime from his hands and face after a hard two hours' battle with a blaze on Fillmore street. The "boys" immediately protested. "Now, Pop, you know you couldn't retire," said one. "Who would run Engine 23? The last time you were laid up, Bill tried to run it and just about wrecked it," said another. "Well, you couldn't do any better yourself," returned Bill and to Pop he said, "Pop, you're not tired of fire fighting, are you?" Pop chuckled. "Me tired of fighting fires? Well, you've got another guess coming. But it's about time I took some time off. I've had brick walls fall on me, and I've been smashed up in wrecks between street cars and fire engines until I'm like patchwork. "lf you young 'sprouts' had been through the biggest fire in the United States you wouldn't feel so gay. You'd want to retire, too! The night of Sunday, April 17, 1906, the gang was called out at eleven o'clock and didn't get back until Tuesday morning. We had just got cleaned up and had turned in when we were called down town to the biggest blaze I ever want to see. We never got through until the next Saturday. "Yes, I've had a bit of work in 1ny time. I've done my share and I"m going to retire." "Aw, Pop, youlre kiddin' us," Bill said pathetically. 'Tm not kidding," returned Pop. "When the remaining five hours of this year are over, I'm going to retire and collect pictures." The "boys" roared and when Bill had calmed himself he exclaimed, "Oh, this is rich! Imagine Pop collecting pictures." "Well, laugh if you want to," said Pop. "But I'm going to retire and collect and catalogue pictures for a photographic history of San Fran- fPage 611 cisco. And some night as Engine 23 goes screaming by my home I'l1 heave another chunk of coal in the stove and say to myself, 'Pretty soft, Pop, pretty soft-I wonder where I can get a print of the first Cliff House?" "Gee, fellows, I guess he means it," Bill said dejectedly. "Of course I mean it," Pop replied. "Let's turn in. I want to get a little sleep before I resign," and he led the way to the sleeping quarters above the engine room, unaware of how "little sleep" he was to get before he retired from activity. Four hours later, while the night watch dozed at his desk the gong above the desk struck four-two-one. "Turn out," yelled the watch. Pop was already down, followed by the others. "Filbert and McKinley," yelled the watch and Engine 23 roared as it rushed into the night. Smoke poured from the windows of the four-story tenement house. A man appeared at a window of the top floor. He staggered and fell limp across the sill. While the firemen subdued the blaze below the men, Pop, gasping and choking, went up through the smoke. The room behind the man was a mass of flame. Pop hacked his way into the adjoining apartment and went out on the window sill. He abandoned his axe and grasped the shutter with both hands. It creaked dangerously and some in the crowd yelled up: "For God's sake, don't try it! It will come down with you." Against a background of flame, the crowd saw Pop swing out on the sagging, rusty-hinged shutter and leap. A cloud of smoke shut him from view. Then he appeared on the sill with the man in his arms. A great cheer rent the air. A fireman ran up a ladder and assisted Pop to the ground with his burden. The man regained consciousness. "My wife," he gasped. "In the hall." Pop went again into the blazing building. Where in all that mass of flame was he to find this man's wife? The heat was more than any man could bear for long. Yet the woman was in there and it was his duty to rescue her or die in the attempt. Part of the stairway on the lower floor was gone, but he swung him- self up on the remainder. It fell as he reached the second floor. In the hall a wotman was lying. The end of the hall by the fire escape was in flames. I-Ie opened a door into a room and the fire leaped out in his face. Escape by the roof was his only chance. He lifted the woman and carried her up the narrow stair onto the roof. The roof was ah'eady in flames. But toward an adjoining building, from which firemen were directing a stream of water from a window several stories above the roof, a seemingly safe passage lay. As he staggered across with his burden the crowd saw the building sway. "He's going down!" and a woman fainted. But he reached the LPage 621 side of the building and one of the firemen in the Window threw him a rope. - As he fastened the rope around the W'01Il3,11,S waist and waved to the firemen the wall on which he was standing toppled over into the roaring fire. "Pop" had retired. CLIFFORD HARRINGTON. 011 Min! 66 S H, GEE, when's school goin' to start? I wonder what time it is? 8:44 s'pect. Guess I'l1 get another bag of peanuts. AW, the1'e goes that bell. Shoot the luck," one Senior yawned as he sauntered towards a group of students assembled just outside room 3, where the faculty met every morning for fifteen minutes. "Wonder what them teachers think they are doin'?" one Frosh drawled as he also joined the crowd gathered in front of the door of the room where the school's mightiest sat. "Say, it's near deportment card time, ain't it? Do you suppose they talk about our marks in there?" another timidly asked. "Oh, do they tell about you in there?" a midyear Freshie wanted to know all of a sudden. "If I had only handed in my Latin yesterday, perhaps Miss Graham would give me a rec' for this quarter. Jimminy Christmas, what'll the folks say when I"- "Aw, dry up, what about my Spanish? Mrs. Roach's got it in for me. I know she'll get up and say, 'John hasn't had his Spanish for a week, a whole week, mind you! I move we expel him! "There is a motion before the house that we expel Johnny. If there is no discussion? Are you ready for the question?' Mr. Ratzell says. " 'Questionf " 'All those in favor say aye !-' " 'Aye.' " '0pposed?' "Silence "Johnny is expelled!" "How tragicalj' mocked a Senior Us Senior spelled with a capital or not? Note: This Senior had three lfs and a I plus on his card. It is always best to consider the source.J fPage 631 4 "Well, I see my end. They're probably talking about the Seniors now. Hang it all, I'd graduate if it weren't for auto shop. Why did I take it anyway? Mac makes us work so dog-gone hard and when I rebelled what did I get? Hark, I had to repair 'Napoleon' and you know that thing is a wreck. Might as well have given me a bar of soap and said, 'Make a sewing machine? " a tall Senior gulped. He evidently had been working hard, for he was very thin, weighing ONLY a little less than 200 pounds. "Oh," one awe stricken Soph murmured, "there goes Miss Halliday. 'O, death, where is thy sting?' We had to write a comp yesterday on 'Cosmetics' I wrote, 'All the faculty use cosmetics, why can't we?' That'll make their noses shine." "Well, tl1ey're readin' some one's paper. Ya-aw, look at the teachers grin. I hope it isn't mine," a smartaleck announced after peeping into the room. At the same time she calmly slapped a Frosh, kicked a Soph- omore, made a face at a Junior, and insulted a Senior! To all Freshmen -never molest a Senior." . "Say, Bill, how did you come out.-HEY, I say, how did you come out in the History Ex yesterday? Pleasant one, Wasn't it?" "Oh, I suppose I flunked as per usual." "Huh, History's easy. Why, I got. a hundred one time last year," another one quickly spoke up quite elated with himself. "Well, I'm speaking of Mrs. Pulcifer's Exsf' "Oh-h, I see!" Just then the door opened and the faculty marched out in stately groups. Their chins were tilted at 90 degree angles. Their lips were set in grim, hard lines. They glanced neither to the right nor to the left of them, "glorious four hundred." If they had had gingham pinafores and corduroys they would have looked like a convent out for an airing. Classes began with a bang. Teachers were more silent than hereto- fore, and the students seemed to have lost all control over their voices. As the day wore on teachers became flabbergasted with their classes and their faces grew grimmer. Mrs. Sinclair signed so many tardy excuses, she feared she would be stricken with the writer's cramp. Mr. Ratzell ran from room to room and he seemed as nervous as a witch. Students gathered i11 the corridors, and nary above a whisper. What made the teachers act so queer? What did they do in faculty meeting this morning? They seemed to have hawk eyes, so sharp and piercing were their glances. 'Tm scared to death," one girl confided to another, "aren't you? Miss Sprague said only once, 'Dispense with your talkingj and the kids minded, too!" "Did ja hear their's goin' to be a Student Body seventh period? I get out of"- I "Good man, that's my only study period. If it had been the eighth period, I'd got out of History." fPage 641 "That Student Body . . . will it ever be forgotten? At the end of it, Mr. Ratzell rushed in and said in a husky tone, 'There is a short faculty meeting in room 33 all teachers please be thereg important blusinessf "What does he mean by important business? What on earth has come up to disturb the equilibrium of our sane and wise professor?" a Senior demanded rather of his seat-mate. "Hey, stop the pinching. I'm no bean bag. How in the sam-hill do I know? l'm no mind reader, honorable bed-mate," was the reply. "I heard they caught some one stealing hairpins from Miss Badgely again. She's sure having bad luck. Yesterday she lost a flatiron and a rolling pin from her hope chest," a voice in the rear spoke up. "Why, Miss Hyde was saying some one dislocatetd her pet frog. They can't find it anywhere and I thought maybe the faculty"- "Nic wants to start a boys' lame duck class to compete against the girls'. He said he wanted the faculty to help him choose a competent leader. Of course, this is confidential . Nic told me not to tell, but I thought tl1at's why the faculty are meeting." Mr. Ratzell came hurrying in, followed by the faculty. "Do you suppose he's got the snake in his pocket?" "Oh-h, I hope not," one timid girl gasped. "Just one moment," Mr. Ratzell began, putting his hand in his pocket. Several girls shrieked and one dark-eyed blonde fainted: ..e-,. He pulled out his handkerchief, mopped his b1'ow,g,Qf,straighte11ed his collar, adjusted his hair, smoothed his coat and continued: "We-er have decided. ln fact, I instructed the teachers to watch your actions closely today and we have unanimously co-me to the decision to omit detention after June 15th!!" OH MIN! IONE RAPP. Dreams and Reality 66 H," I SIGHED to 1ny fellow guest as I sank into an easy chair on the sunny porch of a secluded summer resort, "this is what I've always been looking for. It is an ideal place for writing novels. Why, that little nook over there fairly breathes of mystery and romance. Even the proprietor is quaint and old-fashioned. The whole place is delightful. They say it belonged to the monks long ago, and I suppose it did. Have fPage 651 you noticed the stained glass windows in the chapel, and the bells in the tower? I can just imagine those old priests chanting their vesper prayers in that tiny chapel over yonder." We exchanged a few ideas, and then my companion murmured some- thing about tea time and went into the house, leaving me alone with my thoughts and my pipe. I began to dream of the past and eventually I commenced to think, as I often did, of my adventure in India fifteen years before. The old-fashioned garden with its winding gravel paths, the beautiful lawns and trees and the grey stone chapel faded from my view, and I was once again in the wild jungles of India. Again I was lying on the damp mosses looking in fear about me as I realized that night was coming on and that I was alone in a jungle with a broken ankle. Already the creatures who inhabit the jungles at night were beginning to stir. Dark forms went slinking past me, and cold chills ran down my spine as I heard the shrill cry of a cougar far in the distance. I began to think of death by beasts and all kinds of horrible scenes passed before my eyes. I fancied I saw a tiger crouching in the shadows ready to pounce upon me at any moment. I could actually feel his claws tearing at me. I even felt a boa constrictor crushing me in his deadly coils. Hark -what was that? Footsteps and voices! My heart leaped up into my throat as my tortured brain began to see savages and death by burning. Could anything be more horrible? I felt I preferred even death by wild beasts, for that at least would be instantaneous. But the slow torture of -I shuddered and groaned aloud. The footsteps grew nearer and I broke out into a cold sweat, and trembled from head to foot. I strained my ears. My heart nearly stopped beating. Could it be possible? I listened again. Yes, my ears did not deceive me. Those voices were speaking English. The next moment two men burst through the bushes. One of them was a tall dark man. He was well built, and by his garb and gun I saw that he had evidently been hunting. The other was a Hindu, who had gained some education at a Christian mission I suppose. They stopped short when they saw me. The tall stranger knew at a glance what was my trouble, and as he signed to the Hindu to take my feet he lifted my shoulders in a strong clasp. As he lifted me, weary as I was, I could not help but notice that he had the bluest eyes I had ever seen. I don't know how we ever got back to civilization, for the pain in my ankle made me unconscious most of the time. The next thing I sensed was a cool hand on my forehead, and when I opened my eyes I looked into the face of a doctor. My eyes must have asked a question for he said: "You've had a tough time, old man, but you are going to pull through all right. The dampness of the jungle and your ankle did their dangerous work." When I was able to be around my first questions were about my rescuer, but no one seemed to know anything about him. It grieved me very much that I was not able to thank him for his service to me. lPage 661 Since then I have dreamed of meeting him, and the manner in which I would show him my gratitude. My imagination next led me into the home of one of the best families in England. A great dinner was being prepared to be given in my honor. The table was beautifully decorated, and everywhere there was the appearance of splendor and festivity. Soon this dinner was over and as we were going into the library my host came up to me and said: "Oh, Kenneth, come with 1119 a moment. I want you to meet my old friend, Bruce Ward. He has just come back from one of his long trips to India." At the mention of India my interest was aroused and I followed eagerly after my host. I noticed that we were going toward a tall dark man who had his back toward us. He seemed to be deeply absorbed in conve1'sation with the famous composer, Donald Bell. As we came up, Bell was making his adieux, and the stranger turned around and faced us. I gasped, for his eyes were deepest blue, my myste- rious rescuer from far off India. "My dear sir," I cried. And a light of recognition came into his deep eyes. I l1eld his eyes with mine. "I have searched many years for you, wishing in some way to show you my gratitude for the great service you rendered me fifteen years ago in the dense jungles of India. Words cannot express, honored sir, the deep sense of gratitude and respect I hold for you in my heart, and I fear I can never repay you." Gratitude radiated from my speaking coun- tenance. "My dear Mr. Wilson," he answered in a deep musical voice, "I am only too glad if I can help a fellow mortal at any time. You have no need to feel indebted to me in the least, for I believe I did the whole world a favor when I was able to save such an accomplished writer as yourself from the ravages of the beasts of the jungle." Again the scene changed. This time I was on the rocky coast of Scotland. It was about five o'clock in the morning. The air was cold and the breeze that blew over the rocks had a bitter sting in it. I was swimming with all my strength to try to keep warm when I was startled by a faint cry, "Help!" It stunned me for a moment, for I had thought I was the only one at the large hotel who had dared to come out for his usual dip on such a morning. I looked around me. About two hundred yards away I discerned a dark head struggling to keep above the Waves. "Take heart!" I shouted, "I am coming." I swam to him as fast as I could. The man must have been an expert swimmer to be able to stay up so long with a cramped limb. And he certainly was level headed, for he did not struggle or grab at me, and although he was a large man I did not have much trouble in getting him to shore. I laid my burden on the sand and he soon revived under my efforts. He opened his eyes and I looked lPage 671 into the same blue depths I had looked into when I was rescued in the jungles. "Sir," he said in a shaky voice, "how can I ever thank you for what you have done for me?" "There is no need for thanks," I answered. "I have only reciprocated the good turn you did for me in India." He smiled faintly then, and I knew that he recognized me. We shook hands, and that was the begin- ning of a strong mutual friendship. A bell rang, and I came back from the land of fancy. The bell rang again, and I pulled out 1ny watch. Goodness! I had passed the whole afternoon dreaming. It was time to dress for dinner. I was one of the first to take my place at the long table. Gradually the guests drifted in, and by the time the waitresses began serving the soup, all the places were filled but the chair opposite mine. I had nearly finished my soup before I heard the chair being drawn back, and someone sat down in it. I glanced up and I saw a tall dark man who had not been at the resort at luncheon time. At least he had not been at the table. I gave him a second glance, and as I did so he looked up, and I noticed that he had very blue eyes. My heart turned over. Could this really be the man about whom I had been dreaming all afternoon? He must have thought me very rude, for I could not keep my eyes from his face. After dinner I went out onto the porch and lit my pipe, thinking that in a quiet after dinner smoke I might be able to find out whether my fellow diner was my real rescuer or just the reincarnation of 1ny fancy. I had not been sitting there long when someone came and sat down in the chair next to mine. We sat, the tall dark stranger and I, in silence for a long time. Then he turned to me and said: "I beg your pardon, but haven't I met you somewhere before? Your face seems very familiar to me, but I cannot seem to place it." "Yes," I answered, "I think you have. I believe I am the man whose life you saved fifteen years ago in India." He looked at me for a long time and then said: "Yes, you are, I remember it all now. You were lying on the moss with a broken ankle when my guide and I happened upon you." "I never shall forget the horrors of that night, and I want to thank you for what you did for me," I murmured, faintly, my eloquent, prepared speech scattering like a cloud in the Wind. "It was nothing," he smiled. "You ought to have known better than to go out into the jungles without a guide." "I know that now,', I smiled, too, "a rescuer like you might not happen along every time. But you see, I decided to go out and get atmosphere for my new novel, and instead I received a broken ankle." We sat and chatted a long time, becoming better friends every minute. Finally he excused himself saying that he had traveled far that day and that he was very tired. ' LPage 681 Again l was left alone on the moonlit porch, and I could not help but chuckle to myself. Where was my flowery speech of gratitude? I had not even saved him from drowning, and in that way paid him my debt of gratitude. "Oh, well," I said to myself as Bobby Burns would say, 'The best laid schemes o' mice an' men, Gang aft a-gleyi' This old world certainly stops us from carrying out romantic dreams by just making things happen." CHRISSIE WOOLCOCK. Senior Lament, or To the Seniors Parody on Lincolu's Gettysburg Address HREE years and nine months ago we entered the Turlock Union High School, determined to do our best, believing that all students are created equal. Now we are leaving this school after finding that belief cannot endure. As Freshmen we lived in awe of the upper-classmen and looked forward to the day we would be Seniors. As Sophomores we impressed upon the Freshmen their insignificance and thought we had learned all there was to learn. As Junior we worked whole-heartedly under the leadership of the Seniors. As Seniors we have assumed leadership of the school, doing what we thought best for the good of all. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But in a larger sense, although we have learned much, we find that we still have much to learn. The learned men, living and dead, have left much for us to learn and do. Some of us will go on to college and strive to find a place among the noted, and some of us will number among the workersg each with his place to fill, each with new things to learn, and each with his troubles and his blessings, his failures and successes. The school will little note nor long remember what we do here, but we can never forget what we have done here. It is for us who are passing on to unfinished work, to remember our school days and our inspirations received there from our instructors. It is for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us-that from these honored ones we take increased interest in that cause for which they gave their time and effortsg that we here highly resolve that their teaching will not be in vaing that this school shall continue to set high ideals that shall not perish from the earth. CLIFFORD HARRINGTON '23. fPa-ge 691 Dorothy Jean OROTHY JEAN was late for school. She paused a moment on the steps of the little country school house to catch her breath. Her cheeks were flushed pink from running and from theuwarmth of a late spring morning. Her hair hung in damp ringlets about her face. Her heart pounded partly from running and partly from fright. She had run very fast and was tired, but she paused only for a moment. Then opening the door she slipped quietly in. Going directly to the ante-room she put away her hat and lunch, and tiptoed fearfully into her class-room. She hoped she would reach her seat before Miss Ransome noticed her. But no- "Dorothy Jean !" The cold sharp tones of the teacher's voice rang through the room, bringing everyone to attention. Jimmy Crane, red-haired and freckled, who sat behind Dorothy Jean, snickered audibly and whispered. "Dorothy J ean's goin' to catch it now." He was instantly quieted by a frown from the teacher. "Dorothy Jean!" "Yes, ma'am," came the frightened answer from Dorothy Jean, who had by this time reached her seat. "Why are you late this morning?" "I d-don't know, Miss Ransomef' "You don't knowg Dorothy J ean, please tell the truth. Did you stop on the way?" Dorothy Jean became more frightened than ever. "Y-yes ma'am," she stammered. "Where did you stop, Dorothy Jean? At some place to do an errand for your mother?" "No, ma'am. I stopped at the brook." "And Why did you stop at the brook? Did you forget you were on your way to school?" Dorothy Jean's lips trembled. "It was so nice there, and the water seemed so happy as it ran along over the rocks. And oh!", here her voice became eager-"there were the prettiest little fish, and"- . "That Will do," interrupted the teacher, "bring your books and take this seat." She indicated a seat and desk that stood upon the platform near her own. Dorothy J ean's cheeks burned a still deeper pink and hot tears flooded fPage 701 her eyes. . To sit in that seat! lt was worse than any other form of punishment. To sit up there on the platform beside the teacher where everyone could stare and laugh at her. She looked up to see'Jimmy gazing at her and as her eyes met his, he grinned and winked at her cheerfully. Well, he didn't have to sit up there. Somehow she reached the seat, sat down, opened her book and began to study diligently. She was conscious only of the snickerings of the boys who made faces at her, trying hard to make her laugh. As if she ever wanted to laugh again. She saw the sympathy on the faces of the girls who were her friends. She saw looks of triumphant scorn on the face of those who hated her. Another flood of shamed red dyed her cheeks. Never before had she, Dorothy Jean, been punished in this Way. The morning of lessons dragged slowly on. To Dorothy Jean, who kept her eyes fastened upon her book, it was unending. The only break was the recess. After the noon-hour Dorothy Jean was allowed to take her own seat. The afternoon was long and warm. Dorothy Jean became drowsy. Her head drooped, like a flower withered by the heat of the sun. A passage in her reader caught her lagging attention-A "He followed the narrow stream far into the dark, cool forest." How nice it would be, she thought, to be far away from the school in a great forest. Her imagination became active. She found herself walking in a "dark, cool forest". The green moss made a thick, soft carpet beneath her feet. The cold, sparkling waters of the stream laughed and gurgled as they rushed happily along over the rocky bed. Birds sang in the trees as they worked busily making their nests. And flowers-all the flowers Dorothy Jean had ever seen and loved grew and blossomed in this magic woods. Shy violets peeped timidly at her from their thick foliage. Bluebells nodded gaily in the wind and- Her name spoken by the teacher brought her back to the schoolroom and her lesson. "You may continue to read, Dorothy Jean." Dorothy Jean stared blanklyg first at the teacher and then at the book. Then in a low voice she began to read, the first paragraph that caught her eye. "That will do," interrupted the teacher. "You have not the correct place. Jimmy, you may read." Again shame colored Dorothy J ean's cheeks and tears blinded her eyes. As Jimmy began to read she silently turned the pages of her book and found the right place. A large tear rolled slowly down either cheek. Miserably she looked up at the teacher, but when she saw Miss Ransome looking at her she dropped her eyes back to her book. How she hated Miss Ransome! How she hated teachers and school anyway. Every day she must come to school when she would much rather stay home and play. And Miss Ransome was so cross. Always LPage 711 scolding someone. One couldn't even smile without being scolded. Dorothy J ean's thoughts ran on rebelliously. The end of the school day drew near. Everyone was preparing to leave. Just before the bell rang Miss Ransome said: "Dorothy Jean, you will please remain a few minutes after the others leave." Forlornly Dorothy Jean watched them file silently out. She could hear them whooping and hollering and calling to one another after they got in the yard. She heard the noise grow fainter and fainter until she knew they had all left the yard. Her spirits fell still lower. She would have to walk home alone. i "Come here, Dorothy Jean." The teacher's voice seemed kinder. Dorothy Jean walked silently up to the teacher's desk. She was very frightened. Her heart beat so loudly she wondered if the teacher could hear it. She stood before the desk with her eyes downcast, waiting for the teacher to speak. She waited a long time, it seemed to her hours. Then she raised her eyes to the teacher's face. Miss Ransome was smiling. Dorothy Jean's eyes grew round in astonishment. Why! she thought breathlessly, why, Miss Ransome looked really nice when she smiled. "Tell me why you didn't know the place this afternoon, Dorothy Jean." "I was thinking," answered Dorothy Jean. "And what were you thinking of?" asked Miss Ransome kindly. Dorothy Jean told her. The words fairly tumbled over themselves as she told about the forest, the stream, the flowers and the birds. She forgot she was talking to cross Miss Ransome. Into Miss Ransome's eyes came a faraway look as if she too were in that magic woods Dorothy .lean described instead of here in the warm, ugly schoolroom. A deep sigh escaped her and Dorothy Jean stopped. What had she said? Was she to be scolded again? Her eyes became frightened and the ready tears came again. No, the teacher's voice was kind and soft. "That will be all," she said, "you may go now. And Dorothy Jean"- she hesitated a momentg "come here, dear, I have something to show you." Her hand reached for the quite large, square gold locket she always Wore. As she opened it Dorothy Jean approached and looked wonderingly and saw-she gave a cry of astonishment and joy. In the locket was a tiny picture of a white house surrounded by flowers and trees. Miss Ransome spoke softly: "That is where I used to live, Dorothy Jean," she said sadly. Then she closed the locket and dismissed Dorothy Jean with a smile. "You may go now, and try and be on time tomorrow." Dorothy Jean gathered her books and started out. When she reached the door she turned and said with a smile: IPa.ge 721 "Good-night, Miss Ransomef' "Good-night, Dorothy Jean," answered Miss Ransome pleasantly. Dorothy Jean went out into the yard. It was forsaken. As she turned into the road that led to her home she saw Jimmy Crane playing marbles in the sand. She wondered why he did not go home. Perhaps he Was waiting for the teacher. As she approached he looked up and seemed to see her for the first time. "Hello, Dorothy Jean," he said. "Hello, Jimmy," answered Dorothy Jean. A Jimmy paused a moment and a dark flush dyed his freckled cheeks. He seemed about to say something, hesitated then-- "Say Dorothy Jean, I know where there's some vi'lets b100lI1il1,. Want me to show you where?" Dorothy Jean gasped. This from Jimmy Crane! Jimmy, who had pulled her curls a hundred times! Jimmy, who had made faces at her, hit her with spitballs and taunted her. Jimmy, who had put the end of her prettiest curl down his ink well. Jimmy who could think up one way after another to torment her. Jimmy wanted'to make peace and be friends. She smiled at him happily. "Oh, yes!" she cried. Miss Ransome looking out of the window saw two happy little figures walking down the road. She watched them with a smile. Life is very good when one is ten. GLADYS RADANTKE. lPage 731 fPage 741 ! Don,t Cry! ' HERE, little Frosh, don't cry! You are timid and young, I knowg But the babyish ways Of your Freshman days, Are things of the long ago. Sophomore days will soon come by, There, little Frosh, don't cry! There, little Soph, don't cry! You are as yet untried, I knowg But the carefree ways Of your Sophomore days, Are things of the long ago. You'll be a Junior by and by, There, little Soph, don't cry! There, Junior child, don't cry! You are not quite grown up, I know! But the childlike ways Of your Junior days, Are things of the long ago. Tis the mien of a Senior for which you sigh There, Junior child, don't cry! There, Senior one, don't cry! You are sad at the parting, I know, But those happy Ways Of your high school days, Are things of the long ago. Real life, with pleasure and pain, is There, Senior one, don't cry! There, Teachers mine, don't cry! We are leaving you all, I know. But our studious ways You observed thru the days, Are things of the long ago. nigh 'Tis newer fields for which you sigh, There, Teacher mine, don't cry! FLORENCE GREEN 23 Socks GROUP of Sophs were gathered Out by the study hallg And what they planned to do and did, I'll try to tell you all. That noon at just twelve-thirty, A sight to see there wasg For all the Sophs in one big group Were looking for a fuss. The Sophs upon each Frosh did come, His shoes they removed with careg The socks they took from off his foot, They kept as victor's share. Now with these socks the Sophs did make, By tying them together, A vari-colored much-soiled rope Which was as tough as leather. This string ot' socks now decorates The pole which holds the flagg The Frosh unshod to class did gog The Sophs remained to brag. LEONARD LARSON '23. lQPage 751 ' 'I ' 'AP-'-'f""'frfaz'1 j iff?-f?' 7 .f, I ff nl I 1 .'.' if ' 4 -' 1 2'ii"-:eg - ' - , - . -eff? iron EXC HANGES HOUSANDS of years ago China was the most highly civilized nation in the world, but because of isolation from all human intercourse she has deteriorated to the present standards. The civilization of our most intelligent people is mostly borrowed. A few things they invent themselves, but the majority of them they imi- tate from their neighbors. Even in publishing our high school annuals we realize our inability to thrive on our ideas alone. So a medium has been created where we may give and receive these necessary new ideas. Those who have aided in improving our "Alert" this year are: "The Porcupine," Reedley-The arrangement of this magazine is good. The departments are well handled. The literary department is very inter- esting. "Sea Urchin," Pacific Grove-An attractive cover. The jingles about each Senior are clever. An interesting little annual. "Magnet," Selma-The art work is especially commendable. The arrangement is excellent. On the whole a very attractive magazine. "The Tokay," Lodi-The Faculty Horoscope is clever and original as well as the Alumni Notes. The large literary department is very inter- esting. One of our best exchanges. "La Copa De Ora," King City-The art work is fine. They have omit- ted an exchange department. The poems are especially good. "Cap and Seal," San Francisco-This magazine is published by the women attending the San Francisco Hospital Training School for Nurses. A real snappy annual. The originality shows great care in preparation. An excellent publication. LPage 761 "The Oracle," Oakdale-A neat and attractive cover. The prophecy is original. They have no table of contents. . "The Wasconianj' Wasco-A very good little magazine for its second publication. We have great expectations for it. "The Item," Pasadena-This is a quarterly. Every department is well worked out. The jokes are especially good. We appreciated "Newspaper Ravings When Taken at Random." A snappy publication. DOROTHY HOOVER '23. HONOR ROLL Persons who have averaged not less than 1- in at least four subjects for the year: Seniors Juniors Myrtle Larson Evangeline Carlson Ruby Post lone Rapp Chrissie Woolcock-every year Franklin Carlson Agnes Zimmerman-every year F r e s h m e n Harry Nystrom Agnes ,Orr S 0 P h 0 m O T e S Caroline Knutsen Mary Crane Frances Watts Vivian Thompson Tion Lovegren IPage 771 ISL 959:11 ALERT STAFF Editorial HE organization of the "Alert" staff last year proved to be very effi- cient, so this year's staff has been modeled in the same manner. It is as follows: Editor-in-Chief . Assistant Editor . Business Manager Assistant Business Manager . II Departments CEclitorJ . Chrissie Woolcock Erle Henriksen Francis Bergstrom . Vernon Jaeger Helen Lundgren Assistants Draniatics . . . ..... Mabel Beauchamp Debates . Franklin Carlson Music . . . Helen Sheld Calendar . . Oma Lawson Mechanics . . . Earl Richards Senior Will . . . . Marion Collins Senior Prophecy . Alice Henrickson Spanish Club . Leone McBrayer French Club . . Mildred Booth Senior Class . . . Ruby Post Junior Class . . . . lone Rapp A-Sophomore Class Gladys Coveney B-Sophomore Class Gertrude Smith A-Freshman Class . Mary Strese B-Freshman Class Norval Knutsen Literary Editor . . . Bertha Simms Assistant Editor . . . Mary Crane Boys' Athletics . . . Howren Roach Girls' Athletics . . . Vera Grieve Snapshots . . . . . Ethel Gilliland Cartoons ...N . . Thomas 0'Brien Alumni and Student Body . . Ruth Bevans Art ......... . Clifford Harrington Exchanges -. . . . . . . . . Dorothy Hoover Jokes ................. Carmen Olson We have tried to make this year's "Alert" one of the best that has ever been published. But there are many little touches which would have made the book more attractive which could not be added because of the lack of funds. We wish to thank the staff for their hearty cooperation, and also those outside the staff who have done so much to try to make this Annual a success. CHRISSIE WOOLCOCK, Editor. IPage 791 951251 IOS EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE ' Student Body HE Student Body has had a very successful year, considering the con- ditions under which it has worked. Our main difficulty has been the lack of a room large enough for assemblies. Our meetings, though few this year, have been good. There has been created a Vigilance Committee, which is composed of a Supreme Judge appointed by the faculty, four associate judges and twelve secret members appointed by the Supreme Judge. It is their duty to report and try anyone destroying school property or scattering paper, lunches, etc. around the yard. The Student Body had a drive to raise money for the Near East Relief. They raised 3210, which was immediately sent to headquarters. This year the Dramatic, Debating, Science and French Clubs were organized. There is also a Spanish Club which had its beginning last year. Five tennis courts have been made, more than T. H. S. has ever had in previous years. The Student Body voted to use one one-hundred dollar liberty bond to make bleachers to accommodate about four hundred people. They were constructed at once. . Some of the boys of the school banded together and formed the "Royal Order of the Bow-wows." The May Day program was given this year with the Grammar schools. The High School Tribune was published this year under the same conditions as last year, being published as a supplement to the Turlock Tribune in return for two-thirds of the subscription price, one dollar a year, the remaining one-third going into the Student Body treasury. The Executive Committee, which is the most important committee in the school, audits all reports of officers of the Student Body, confirms appointments, and authorizes the president and secretary to draw war- rants for the payment of all bills contracted by the Student Body. The members this year are: Erle Henriksen, Lauren Sunderland, Ruth Bevans, Howard Hjelm, Marion Collins, Gladys Coveney, James Miraglio, Clifford Wolfe, Chrissie Woolcock, Dorris Johnson, De Kimzey, Franklin Carlson and Dick Crane. RUTH BEVANS '23. LPage S141 French Club Report LE CERCLE FRANCAIS E FRANCAIS fut introduit dans le course de notre e'cole en 1921, et le premier cercle francais fut organise' en octobre, 1922. Le but du cercle est d'etudier les coutumes des Francais et de nous perfectionner dans la langue courante. Nous avons les reunions a' 1' e'cole toutes les deux semaines, ou nous faisons des voyages en France Cen imagination bien entendul, et nous visitons les restaurants, les magasins, et les edifices publics de Paris. De temps en temps nous passons la soiree chez un membre du cercle et nous nous amusons en parlant francais et en chantant les chansons francaises. Maintenant nous preparons une petite comedie qui sera representee a' une soiree a' laquelle seront invites les autres eleves de francais. Le bureau se compose d'une presidente-Chrissie Woolcockg d'une vice presidente-Esther Ecklundg et d'une secretaire-Ruby Post. Le comite' des programmes se compose de Helen Lundgren et Eldon Carlson. MILDRED BOOTH '23. Spanish Club Report EL CIRCULO ESPANOL L "SPANISH CLUB" del ano 1922-23 era formado en el mes de octubre con un calidad de miembros mucho mayor de aquel del ano pasado. Los miembros de la organacion escogieron para el nombre del club, "El Circulo Espanolf' ' Los mienbros decidieron que el periodo de funcion estaria por solo un semestre. A la junta primera del club, los officiales siguientes fueran elegidos: El presidente, Dee Kimseyg E1 vicepresidente, Vaughn Earpg El secre- tario, Elvera Kulanderg El relator, Leone McBrayerg El critico, Helen Gallison. La comision de programa cuya obligacion era trazar las programas de las juntas, era formada de Forest Fiorini, Helen Sheld, y Donald Ratzell. Los officiales elegido para el semestre segundo eran: E1 presidente, Joseph Vierrag El vicepresidente, Lauren Sunderlandg El secretario, Merrill Swensong El relator, Helen Sheldg El critico, Eliza- beth Bailey. La. comision de programa era Irma Williams, Florence Rodman, y Bernice Sheld, Los juntas, convenido dos veces en el mes durante de la sesion de la clase eran muy interesante y instructivo. Varios miembros dieron come- dians cortas en espanol y de cuando en cuando articulos de periodicos espanoles eran leido y traducido. Una junta especial convenio el catorce defebrero. Un administrador de correos era escogio y como cada uno se presento al corres con la IPage 821 H FRENCH CLUB SPANISH CLUB pregunta-"Hay una Carta para mi?"--le era dado una misiva allomina. Estas misivas anominas, cuando leido, producieron mucho alegria. E1 club traze tener pronto una romeria de luz de la luna. Los miembros deben a la senora. Roach mucho, para su ayuda. benig- namente en haciendo el club un buen exito. LEONE MCBRAYER '23, LPa.ge 831 1 -J 4 K.. 1-., -Z. - .. , PP'-.af lt.--3-i'5:J?r" 1 . 1 ' 2 W'-'N IJ ' 5.51 2-f3,,.Sef '-f'QS'F:'-'YfS'5f.. .i L-gf: ug3"tf'i-'S sf-.ss-me -Q :za - me ' 4 -:asf-2: gg'-'wx 'f .M rj-, -4-- - 1 ."":-fr-! 'Q?g?QZ'w - C5-wfrifp 1 . arm .t rigigi, ff," zanflf 112 ff- 1:21 ,ini ' . Sfziwi- NESE1. .255 . 'iii may X15-:t'f'.. mg ff: gy,-,552 - ag: we c 4 If if r- fi,..,::3 v v Hz: Ei-,. - --, Q-. 2-5 ,fx 1 -fi 3-1 Qi, aqigj-... , .51 v, ., -,- 5:1 i,-2'i1v5!A' Fix" ,g. 371 214. fizflfif-fTi':.f.f J' -eil 1.1532-y -,Q 2.24.3 Z5 5'.pg:,:-f -7. ,z 1 :.v.e.v1l: ' "f'ff.Q 2"'5f:i':1t 'x'. 'J fill I1 il I 7' if ' 1 Qi xl? Q f. - me Football The football season this year was not the most successful of its kind. The team was laboring along with a "Jinx" very close behind, and in the final reckoning we placed last. Of course, the schedule this year was a more difficult one than the season previous, and we had practically a new team to break in. The withdrawal of Ceres and Sonora from the league was also rather unfortunate. We had to defeat both Modesto and Oakdale to retain the championship. We beat Oakdale. On September 30th we played our first defeat. Sacramento sent down her gridders, and they proceeded to teach our eleven some of the finer points of the game. The final census was 18-0 in favor of the Governors. October 13 we met our ancient rivals, the mighty "Tarzans." Turlock was defeated, but not as badly as she might have been. Our men were too nervous to do anything in the first half, but in the second half-! Stockton did not score at all in the second half. The final score was 27-14. Madera sent us a challenge and away our team went. October 20th gave our lusty defenders a jolt, for we were defeatedg 14-12 was the news received late Saturday night. Too much nervousness again! October 27th looked bright for Turlock. This day our varsity met the Almond City lads and defeated them. This was the first league game of the season and Turlock's hopes were high for the championship. Our eleven swept down the field to a 14-6 victory. Now for Modesto and the championship. November 3rd found our team miles from home and an awful defeat hanging over their heads like the proverbial sword. It was on this day that Turlock gave Bakersfield little or no competition. The Oil City team was the most efficient team the Turlock boys had ever struck. Good practise for our men. Fine for future track men. However, Coach Lancaster was playing safe and saving the team for the Modesto out- break. Incidentally the score was 93-0. lPage 841 FOOTBALL TEAM lPage 851 November 10th Turlock was jubilant. Confident of victory everyone slept peacefully. November 12th Blue and Gold warriors were asking each other how it happened. The unforeseen had happened. Modesto had defeated Turlock. Old George W. Gloom had nothing on Turlock at all. The details are too painful. Let suffice tl1at the score was .13-0 in favor of the Black and Red warriors. The Jinx was on the job! The game between Turlock High and Modesto Junior College was one of the best games ever played on the local gridiron. The Modesto team was overconfident, that's all. Turlock drew first blood by scoring the first touchdown. However, the try-for-point was unsuccessful. In the last quarter Modesto scored on a fluke and tied the score, 12-12. This was quite a setup for Turlock, for the J. C. team had quite a reputation for speed. The final game of the season was played, as usual, with Madera, here. The Jinx was away for the Thanksgiving holiday, so Turlock won to the tune of 33-0. The visiting eleven had only one chance to score and they failed. After that Turlock had everything her own way. As was customary the visiting team was entertained at a banquet, and a good time was had by all. John Peterson '24, was elected skipper for the next season. The first string men consisted of the following: H. Zipser, T. O'Brien, endsg L. Mead, J. Peterson, tacklesg B. Busano, W. Mayer, A. Hoobyar, guardsg P. Swager, centerg D. Ratzell, V. Earp, R. Bartman, halfbacksg L. Sunderland, fullbackg and M. McPherren, quarterback. BASKET BALL Although we lost the county championship in basketball we fared better in this sport than we did in football. Out of 14 games played we won 9, losing 5. The new double schedule system was inaugurated for the first time in Turlock. The new schedule consisted of a game on our court on Friday night and a game away on Saturday night. January 5th Patterson came to Turlock and was defeated 32-10. Not so bad for the first real game. January 12th we met our most formidable opponent, Oakdale. Pain- ful to say, we were beaten 40-21. Oakdale's court always was unlucky for our quintet. . On January 17th we played a practice game with Hilmar and won, 27-21. Our boys were showing improvement all the time. January 19th was a red letter day. That was the day We beat Modesto on her own court. Although it took an extra five minutes to do it we won, 21-19. On January 20th we played the first game of the double schedule. We went to Los Banos, but, alas, we were defeatedg 18-27 was the death toll. lfPage 861 BASKET BALL TEAM BASEBALL TEAM fPa.ge 871 San Jose sent over some men to give our boys a treat and on January 26th we spectators saw a thriller. Although Turlock was defeated badly, the game was interesting throughout. The final score was 19-39. Gustine jogged over to our fair town and just as stolidly jogged back, defeated. The day was January 27th, and the score was 19-25. Aha! Revenge is sweet and to the defeated belongs the "razz." February 2nd Oakdale entered our portals and we willingly defeated them, 46-30. This left us sitting pretty, and in a fair line for the title. Newman proceeded to trounce our melon tossers on February 3rd to the tune of 14-18. The boys went to Newman, and the floor was quite different to the one here. The "Jinx" was in the background anyway. February 9th we played Manteca. Manteca, being a newcomer in this section of the league, gave our men a good battle the first half, but in the second half our team got started and the score ended 35-9 in our favor. On the same night our second team and first team played the Los Banos quintet. Although the first team played only half of the game, Turlock won by only one point. The score was 30-31. February 19th we again defeated Patterson. This time the score was 22-20. Evidently Patterson had improved. Miracles still do happen! Modesto beat us on our own court! Febru- ary 16th was the day. It's too sad to tell anything but the score which was 18-23. February 17th we won the last game of the season. As was fit, we played Madera and successfully closed our season. The score of this engagement was 18-28. Although we were certainly eligible for the county championship, the defeat we suffered at Modesto's hands put a crimp in our hopes. It seems that everything this year has gone against us. The men on the squad this year were Sunderland, Swanson, centersg McPherren Qcaptainj, Crowell, Zipser, guards, and Critser, Purden, Claes, forwards. lPage 881 TRACK TEAM Our track teams this year had a very successful season. We won the county championship with ease, we defeated Oakdale in a dual meet, took fourth place in the big C. I. F. meet at Modesto and sent men to the Dixon meet. Generally speaking we had a most successful season. ' TURLOCK vs. OAKDALE-Score 145 to 114 We won this dual meet ill fine form. The weight team lost by two points but fortunately the unlimited team had a large lead which gave us the final victory. The score: 120-pounders, 66 to 643 unlimited team, 81 to 54 in favor of the Blue and Gold. COUNTY MEET-Turlock 134, Oakdale 105, Modesto 80.5 The county meet this year was a fulfillment of hopes for Turlock, a double blow to Modesto and a surprise to Oakdale. We knew we would win but not by so large a scoreg Modesto was defeated by us and also by Oakdale, trailing in a. very bad third. Nine records were broken, three by Captain Sunderland, two by L. Critser, one each by J ewett, Westbrook, and Andrews of Oakdale and one by Alway of Modesto. "Pomp" won the hurdles in 16:0, breaking the record one-fifth second, the discus throw by a heave of 121 ft. 6 in., the former record being 119 ft. 41,43 in., and the broad jump with a leap of 20 ft. 7M in. The former record for this was 19 ft. 6 in. Lack of space prevents a detailed account. The men who went to Modesto and who successfully made the team are: 120-pound team-Critser, Arollo, Service, Winkie, Ferguson, J. Smith, Randolph, Gaston, Roberts, Crane, C. Yule, Anderson. Unlimited team-Sunderland, captaing Ratzell, Oyer, Busano, Hol- brook, Rowley, Harrington, M. Yule, E. Smith, Lilyquist, Zipser. fPage 891 Baseball The baseball season, upto the time this book went to press, was about a fifty-fifty split. We won three League games and lost two. We also lost a practice game to Hilmar but that does not count. It was practically a new team that started out bravely at the first of the season. Five men of last year's team remained in school and these were the stars of the team this year. Swanson, captaing Smith, Crowell, Zipser, and McPherren were the veterans. On. account of injuries in the feet McPherren was forced to give up playing early in the season. Heinrich took his place and played a good game. The team felt the need of "Mac's" hits at times but we came out pretty well anyhow. APRIL 20-OAKDALE vs. TURLOCK The first game of the season was with the Oakdale nine on the home diamond. The game was Turlock's after the fifth inning when we scored three runs. In the fourth Oakdale scored two but Turlock scored two more in her half of the sixth. The final score was 8 to 3 in favor of Turlock. APRIL 27-MANTECA vs. TURLOCK This game was a calamity for Turlock. The boys seemed to go to pieces and were unable to stemthe flow of runs once Manteca got started. In this game Manteca took the lead in the second inning and we never got a lookin. In the sixth we scored our one run but after that we got nothing for the work done. The score was 12 to 1. MAY 4-TURLOCK vs. MODESTO On May 4 we took Modesto for nine rounds of windy playing and when the final count was taken Turlock had five runs and Modesto four. Modesto took the lead from us when she scored two runs in the fourth inning. We had scored one in the second and in our half of the fourth we also scored two runs. Modesto never took the lead again. There were a good many errors committed by Turlock which could have been avoided. However, we won, so why count the mistakes. MAY 11-OAKDALE vs. TURLOCK We count this game a win for Oakdale forfeited to us. MAY 18-MANTECA vs. TURLOCK On this date Manteca again handed us the lemon. This time the score was 9 to 1 in favor of the men from the north. This team is an exceptionally strong one having defeated eery team it has played. The Mantecans play straight baseball and we were defeated fairly and squarely. A We regret that we cannot give an accounting of the last game of the season for the book went to press before the game was played. Those who played the national game for Turlock were: Swanson, captaing McPherren, Smith, Zipser, Carlquist, Larson, Crowell, Claes, Ferguson, Heinrich, Bonander and Williams. fPage 901 GIRLS' BASKET BALL TEAM GIRLS' BASEBALL TEAM fljage 911 Girls' Athletics HIS year brought forth some new events along the line of athletics for the girls. Track was added to the list and baseball games with other schools. In the gym classes the work was varied. There were folk dances, volley ball, baseball, hikes, and lectures fwith an occasional examination which "pleased" the girlsj. In all the work the girls were under the able supervision of Miss Halliday. In the Physical Education classes the spirit of good fellowship always prevailed. Baseball This game appeals strongly to the girls and the games arouse a good deal of enthusiasm. Only three games were scheduled in the fall but there are to be several games with other schools this spring. Of the three games played with Denair, Turlock won one. The second game was lost by a large score, but the last was lost by only one point. This record shows that the girls had improved and they hope to have better luck in the coming games. Basket Ball There are many girls interested in this sport and consequently there were a number out for it. The girls did not win as many games as the team last year, but this may be due to the "tough opposition." Several interscholastic games were scheduled by Miss Halliday and Doris Johnson, the girls' athletic manager. The girls who composed the team are: Forwards, Eleanor Tracy, Betty Olivas and Myrtle Lindbergg center, Doris Johnson, side centers, Anna Ahlberg and Helen Wideberg, guards, Ebba Hultman, Sylvia Brier, and Minnie Halverson captain. The following are the games and the results: V The first game of the season was played with Hilmar on our court. Our team was victorious. Score 43-5. On December 22nd a return game was played with Hilmar at Hilmar. Score 54-7 in favor of Turlock. On January 4th, 1923, Hughson came to Turlock and we suffered the first defeat of the season. It was a very close and hard fought game. Score 10-9. On January 3rd, 1923, Patterson came to Turlock with the deter- mination to win. They had suffered defeat at our hands by only one point the preceding year. The game ended with a score of 12-7 in our favor. January 17th, in a return game with Hughson at Hughson, the team was again defeated. Score 14-8 in favor of Hughson. frage 921 Ja11uary 19th, the girls motored to Gustine and had a hard fought battle with that team who are now the champions of the west side. Score 14-7 in favor of Gustine. January 20th. Again the girls journeyed from home, this time to Los Banos. It was a very exciting game, for the score was tied for some time before the end of the game. Final score 13-12 in favor of Turlock. January 27th. Gustine came to Turlock to play a retur11 game. Our girls played a fast game and tried to redeem themselves, but again were defeated by one point. Score 14-13. February 3rd. The girls again journeyed from town. They met Newman on their court and beat them to the tune of 42-7 . February 9th, Los Banos came to Turlock. After the game friendly relations were restored at a feed given by the girls. The boys were also present. The score of the game was 14-7 in Turlock's favor. The boys and girls both motored to Patterson and the girls again defeated that team. Score 19-12. February 17th. The girls met Madera on Madera's court. The Madera team was swift and had good team work and as our team had played the night before they were tired and consequently were defeated. Score 16-9. Track This year an interclass track meet was held for the girls on March 23. The meets should continue for they encourage class competition and since basket ball and baseball are usually played with other schools there is need of something to encourage this competition. The Sophomore team defeated the teams of the other classes by a count of 37 Mg. The Freshmen ranked next with 2914 points, the Juniors third with 214 points, and the Seniors fourth with 1914 points. The results of the meet are as follows: 50-yard dash-First, V. Tracy, Freshmang time, 7 seconds. 100-yard dash-First, E. Hultman, Senior, time, 13 2-5 seconds. 200 yard run-First, Clayton, Sophomoreg time, 33 1-5 seconds. 60-yard hurdles-First, McAuliffe, Sophomore, time, 10 seconds. 500-yard relay-First, Freshmen, time, 1 minute 16 3-5 seconds. Basket ball throw-First, S. Clark, Sophomore, distance, 84 ft. 8 in. 8-lb. shot put-First, E. Hultman, Senior, distance, 29 ft. 713 in. Broad jump-First, D. Johnson, Juniorg distance 15 ft. High jump-First, E. Ecklund, Seniorg McAuliffe, Sophomoreg D. John- son, Juniorg E. Bloomquist, Freshman, tie, height, 3 ft. 11 in. Hop, step and jump-First, D. Johnson, J uniorg distance, 21 ft. VERAJ GREIVE '2.4 LPage 931 ORCHESTRA IfPage 941 BOYS' GLEE CLUB s 1' F' . l gall! i ii . 'll ,,.. jigs lfqgh is-lf' AFM 'Wim l ,f x Ibn - 'lf N i ...mlmlhfa ,lt 'll ff' f--JR " Us - ,-75 ..,A xg?- fl . Mlllyyz LF, if K . . .1 ami wr 1' I -'I Wag., "l1Mfll nl ' A great deal of interest was manifested in the Girls' Glee this term. Eighty-four girls signed up for Glee Club. Mrs. Roach did not deem it advisable to have so large a club, consequently she decided to have the ones desiring Glee to try out. A few did not fancy the idea of trying out, and among those who tried out a number were eliminated, leaving the club with an enrollment of sixty-four. Besides giving their customary annual concert with the Boys' Glee, some special work was carried on by the Girls' Glee Club. A trio was formed composed of Chrissie Woolcock, Clesta Conner and Helen Sheld. They appeared several times, singing some very pleasing trios. A mixed quartet was also formed with Chrissie Woolcock and Gertrude Smith from the Girls' Glee, and Richard Steele and Franklin Carlson from the Boys' Glee. They ably assisted at a number of school functions and their clever songs were greatly appreciated. On the evening of May 18th, the Girls' Glee Club directed by Mrs. Frances Roach, with the capable assistance of Mrs. Pulcifer and Miss Halliday, presented "The Feast of the Red Corn." It was in every way an immense success. The bright Indian color scheme succeeded in making the operetta one of the most colorful and picturesque ever given by Tur- lock High School. Chrissie Woolcock as Weeda Wanta, queen of the Wanta tribe, who is exceedingly anxious to know the welfare of her king, took her part very pleasingly. Impee Light, the younger sister of the queen and mischief maker of the tribe, was played with surprising ability by Gertrude Smith. The three children of the queen, Fudgee, Pudgee and Wudgee, represented by Florence Vartanian, Irma Brock, and Mildred Booth, were ever subject to the misdemeanors of Impee Light. The wrinkled old squaw, the sorceress of the Wanta tribe, who showed the queen the vision of her king, was well played by Oma Lawson. Those who represented the spirits of happiness and joy were Clesta Conner, Helen Lundgren, Ethel IjP3.g6 951 Brock, Vesta Chivington, Lillian Weddle, and Marie Clayton. The spirits of sorrow and woe were Dorothy Smith, Frances Norvell, Catherina Law- son, Vivian Thompson, Melba Coveney, and Helen Sheld. The vision of the king of the Wanta tribe was portrayed by Opal Merman. Eleanor Tracy, with ten girls, Jean Clayton, Ina Olson, Helen Gallison, Esther Ecklund, Avanelle Hubbard, Ethes Gilliland, Evelyn Rosen, Ruth Bevans, Alice Dimberg, Esther Beauchamp, very gracefully danced the "Ghost Dance" and also the "Dance of the Flaming Arrow." The Boys' Glee Club, composed of twenty members, has had a most active year. It has been very popular and in great demand to sing at various local and out-of-town functions. They gave programs in several nearby towns. The Boys' Glee together with the Girls' Glee were featured when they gave their annual program, April 27. They rendered an exceptionally fine program consisting of eighteen choice selections as follows: 1. Girls' Glee- 2. Boys' Glee- 3. Boys' Glee- 4. Girls' Glee- 5. Boys' Glee- tal "Cermena" H. Lane Wilson t-bl "Serenade to Summer" L. Denza tal "Oh, Boys, We'll Sing Tonight" Ella Probst tbl "Call John" Jerome tal "Over the Ocean Blue" Petrie tbl "Go to Father" Lester Jenks tal "Night Bells" C. Vincent tbl "Northern Love Song" H. Hofmann tcl "The Dew ls On the Clover" XV. C. Coombs tal "Love's Old Sweet Song" Molloy tbl "When You and I Were Young, Maggie" Butterfield tcl "Old Black Joe" Foster-Jerome 6. Solo, Chrissie VVoolcock-- 7. Boys' Glee- tal "Legends" Arranged by J. A. Parks tbl "Gypsy Love Song" Victor Herbert S. "The Professor at Home" tco-mic quartetl Bliss 9. Boys' Glee- tal "Bells of St. Mary's" Adams tbl "Levee Song" Ella Probst Orchestra The orchestra has been very faithful in giving its services whenever needed. They appeared at the Senior and Junior plays giving several good numbers. A ' Lygia Erdman acted as accompanist for the Girls' Glee Club and Orchestra throughout the term, with Barbare Davis as assistant accom- panist for the Girls' Glee Club. Miss Ruth Hestwood, one of the teachers, was accompanist for the Boys' Glee Club. i fPage 961 ELG 93911 EIIYIO 51310 .SFIHIS C TF 1 l IL! IV' rv .M DDANLZXTICS V N the days when the history of Turlock High first began, dramatic clubs were probably formed, but this is the first year that Drama has ever appeared in the curriculum of T. U. H. S. Under the able leadership of Miss Ruth Spencer, a great deal has been accomplished in one short year. The club was organized at the beginning of the school term and the following officers were elected and standing committees appointed: Roy Oyer, president, Edith Crampton, secretary, Addie Barricklow, treasurer. Poster Committee-Nadine Pimlot, Christine Kraft, Mabel Beauchamp. Play Committee--Ethel Soderstrom, Waunita Edmonston, Ethel Gilli- land. Only the members of the Junior and Senior classes have been eligible to club membership. On November 17th the new members were initiated into the mysteries of the club. Electrical illusions and queer sensations of horror and fear were experienced by the wouldbe members during the transitional period. Just before the Christmas holidays, the club gave a masquerade party at the Service home. Here quaint colonial ladies, merry Christmas elves, paper ladies, a staid old grandfather, a lively minister, an Egyptian vamp, and even two little "nigger" children mingled in joyous equality. Not less enjoyable was the Valentine party given at the Conner home, where everything was in keeping with the spirit of the occasion. Though enjoying the social side, the club has not been neglecting other matters of more material benefit. The one-act plays given in connection with the debates, contributed their bit to the evening's entertainment, and the two class plays, the result of hard work as well as natural talent, were certainly successful. "Come Out of the Kitchen" was the play presented by the Senior class. fPage 981 SENIOR PLAY CAST JUNIOR PLAY CAST mage 991 IOOI 93961 DRAMATIC CLUB Chrissie W0olcock's portrayal of the older sister Olivia, and Merrill Swenson's representation of the intruder from the North, Burton Crane, are especially worthy of mention, for these parts called for truly clever acting. The whole cast have won for themselvees recognition as persons of talent and ability. ' Not less deserving of mention is the Junior class play, "Daddy Long Legs." Though an old story, the snap and pep with which it was given made it new to all who saw it. Judy, the pretty little drudge in a New England orphanage, was cleverly portrayed by Carmen Olson, and the part of Daddy Long Legs was taken by Francis Tyke, whose representa- tion was unusually good. Those who supplemented these two characters carried their parts with genuineness and naturalness. Only really worth while plays have been considered by the club. To study and recognize a good play has been the aim of this organization as well as to prove the ability of students along lines of acting and inter- preting parts. To the enthusiasm of the club members, and the unceasing efforts of Miss Spencer, who has never failed to be an inspiration and a guide to higher ambitions, is due the credit for the success of this year's dramatics. Below are listed the plays given by the club: "The Turtle Dove," by Margaret Scott Oliver, October 13th. "The Head of Romulus," by Sidney Grundy, October 13th. " "Two Crooks and a Lady," by Eugene Billot, October 3rd, "Out Aunt from California," by Madeline Demarest Barnum, Novem- ber 10th . "The Maker of Dreams," by Dan W. Totheroh, December Sth. "Let There Be Light," by Faith Van Volkenburgh Vilas, December 22d. "Thursday Evening," by Christopher Morley, January 26th. Senior Class Play, "Come Out of the Kitchen," by A. E. Thomas, Feb- ruary 23rd. Junior Class Play, "Daddy Long Legs," by Jean Webster, April 13th. "The Knave of Hearts," by Louise Saunders, May 4th. fPage 1011 E If X J gf: Qi 's it x 'X It.1.u?5 iFE:5.1: 2 - dliiifi 5555-Eiiiiffi' 2lzi5i1E2s5F5i2.iiQg1' I .':z:::zg::z:'nr.. --N liliiiizsgggnf Q 7 Rl " EHIIIHHII 0 ' I 2 -9 Eliillfl' ' 0 .W - - H faq.. ' Q :gawk ,gi 9g:fti,f,jyQ,.I0 ' uw '! F' 1,ffdl.,, fl ,fl Q-Grlfffiic M ' f swf' M L L, 'F M fy ' 32:1 X X 'f '!" , 'El'QL:.-as Gf"'.. ' ' --'- M. HIS year has been a successful one for debating. While the number of victories was small, results are not to be gauged entirely by the number of battles won. The knowledge of the principles underlying debating, and the ability to present thoughts clearly and forcibly are of far greater value than any number of victories. This is the unanimous opinion of Turlock High School's debaters. Turlock has used the extem- poraneous method of speaking altogether. Most of the schools with which we have competed have used the memorized speech. This has given them an advantage in delivery, but we feel that our gain in being able to arrange our argument to meet the debate more than offsets this advantage. ' Turlock High School is a member of the Central California Oratorical and Debating League and the Stanislaus County Debating League. We have had three debates in each league. Our first debates in the Central California League was on November 3 on the question, "Resolved, that the proposed Water and Power Act should be passed." Merrill Swenson and Lamar Jackson uhpeld the affirmative against Fresno, losing by a unanimous vote. Our negative team, composed of Theodore Hohenthal and Franklin Carlson, crossed swords with Oakdale, winning by a vote of two to one. Our next debate in this league was on the question, "Resolved, that the use of the injunction in the recent strike was for the best inter- ests of the American people," was held on February 16. Richard Steele and Harold Elson, our affirmative team, were victorious over Sonora by a vote of two to one. Our negative team, Agnes Zimmerman and Roy Oyer were not so fortunate, losing to San Jose by a unanimous vote. Our last debate in this league was on April 20 on the question, "Resolved, that the invasion of the Ruhr Valley by France was justified." Our affirmative lPage 1021 ., H Lf--1 ,- -- f - :.1i,f1,g21!' DEBATING CLUB-Central California Debating League DEBATING CLUB-Stanislaus County Debating League IPage 1031 team was composed of Agnes Zinnnerinan and Leone McBrayer and Lamar Jackson. In the County League our first debate was held on the Sth of Decem- ber. The question for discussion was, "Resolved, that the inter-allied debts should be cancelled." Roy Oyer and Barthol Pearce upheld the affirmative side of the issue against Hughson, while Richard Steele and Clifford Lilyquist defended the negative side against Modesto. Both teams lost by a vote of two to one. "Resolved, that Congress should grant a bonus to its Great War veterans," was the subject for debate on January 26. Carmen Olson and Lamar Jackson composed the affirmative team against Oakdale, while Merrill Swenson and Winona Johnson were the debaters of the negative against Patterson. This debate was lost by both teams. On March 23 our affirmative team, composed of Richard Steele and Dorothy Hoover, debated Ceres on the question, "Resolved, that Congress should adopt the proposed plan of a ship-subsidy." The following night Theodore Hohenthal and Lois Wilcox, our debators on the negative, met Denair. Both teams were successful in this debate. Besides the regular debates Turlock was entered in the extempo- raneous speaking contest held at Stockton, January 12. Franklin Carlson represented Turlock High and received third place. Merrill Swenson was Turlock's representative at the County Oratorical contest held at Modesto May 14. A debating and extemporaneous speaking club was formed early in the season. This organization was open to all students who wished to avail themselves of the opportunity of improving their speaking abilities. Many of the students took advantage of this privilege and the Thursday evening meetings of this club were very successful. i On the 16th of March the members of this club took part in a mock trial which was presented to the public at the school. They received their coaching from Attorneys Cook and Nichols. This was very creditably given and abounded with wit and humor. ' These were the main activities of the public speaking division. All those who have supported them feel that they have been greatly bene- fited by their participation. lPage 1041 lPage 1051 lfPage 1061 IPage 1071 fPage 1081 lPage 1091 Our Auto Shop 66 VERY day in every way I am getting better and better." So sings the Freshman as he plies his elbow grease on a bum valve. "Expe- rience makes perfect," says the big Senior as he times an old Ford so that it runs like a worn-out Packard. These things are not heard in the Dramatics Class but actually and really happen out in the "old tin shed," alias the auto shop. Q The auto shop this year underwent some startling changes. First of all it was moved from town out on The Farm. It had to be trisected and hauled over in parts. When it first landed we lost all hopes of ever having another auto shop, but after the carpenter had patched it up it looked as presentable as any building on the ranch. A cement floor was laid, a part squared off and used for the stock room, and pits were made "colder" by having cement sides and bottom. A new assistant was added to the shop crew this year, namely Mrs. Sward. Her duties, besides taking care of the shop correspondence, making out bills and reports, are to give out the tools to the students. This is done in this manner: Each student is given a set of tags and when he asks for a tool he must give a tag in exchange. If he doesn't redeem the tag with the tool he is held responsible for the tool. Thi-s eliminates the old system of the student buying the tool at a considerable expense. Each year the shop has turned in a good dividend at the end of the year. It is the only self-supporting vocational institution in the school. The money which is taken in from the jobs is used to pay the expenses of the shop and to buy new machinery. There is a half equipped lathe set, poorly equipped radiator and vulcanizing set. The other branches are well equipped, the welding is very complete, t.he shop work material is also very well covered. This year a "boring-in machine" was added to the place. This is the best improvement made in many a day because it saves many a poor Frosh the job of scraping bearings. The principal parts of this machine is a "Ford" motor Qwhich is the principal part of most machinesj, that runs in a stand and turns a shaft that is connected to the block that is to be bored in. This makes a better job and assures a better fit after the car has left the shop. A good time4saving device was added when the block and tackle was put on a track, making it easier to pull motors. Another clean cut improvement was the installation of a big wash stand. In previous years about fifteen boys had to wash at one sink, now all can be accommodated at one time. On dull days a blackboard talk is given by "Mac," "Theory," he says, "strengthens the thing learned in practice. Every year the cars come thicker and thicker so I suggest a bigger and better shop be built to handle the increased trade." EARLE RICHARDS '23. fPage 1101 . 1 ,fi gp , f 9' vi G' ts"2Q Q J Q Q S X gms 5 E ., ff fem ' ' ' . g I . 'A I V ,:"u'.r, 5 'J . 3 x 2 f 'iff' l QS? if? + - X -V-Q... . J' The Only Good Ford Joke We Ever Had A man rushed madly into the lobby of a hotel and up to the clerk's desk: ' "Is Mr. Ford in here?" he asked in great excitementg "page him quick!" "Mr. Ford! Henry Ford!" But no reply. "Why did you think he was here?" asked the clerk. "Oh, well," and the joker strolled away, "I saw his car outside." The Main Bearing "Are you sure you have shown me all the principal parts of this car?" asked the fair prospective purchaser. "Yes, madamg all the main ones," replied the dealer. "Well, then, where is the depreciation? TO11l told me that was one of the biggest things about a car." Explicit V Customer at drug store in a great hurry-"One box of powder, please." Lauren Sunderland in a great hurry--"Face, gun or bug?" "Is there anything you would like to do before I press the button?" said the warden of Sing Sing to the murderer in the electric chair. t'Yes, your honor," said the latterg "I would like to get up and give my seat to a lady." ' The man who wins is the one whose head is a parking place for ideas and not a mere rendezvous for hair. Vesta Chivington says it's better to have loved have never loved a tall. a short man than to lPage 1111 Voice-"Hello, is this the weather bureau?" "Uh, huh!" Voice-"How about a. shower this afternoon?" "I dunnog if you need one take it." Lord Babbington was instructing a new colored servant in his duties, adding, "Now, Zeke, when I ring for you, you must answer me by saying, 'My lord, what would you have?' " A few hours afterward, having occasion to summon the servant, his lordship was astonished with the following: "My Gawd, what does you want now?" g Can You Imagine- Edith Turner getting up a High School dance? Eleanor Tracy as Mrs. Samson Nelson? Oma Lawson as Miss Evans' twin? Viola Swanson with her hair curled? Lamar Jackson and Teddy Hohenthal tongue-tied when to-gether? Olga Swanson oratorical choice from T. H. S.? Francis Tyck married to Alice Ahlberg? Mary Strese and Alfred Alstrom eloping? Sylvia Brier and Miss Halliday room-mates? Sixth period girls gym class always quiet? . Not Consistent "Then you don't think I practice what I preach," queried the minister, in talking with one of the deacons at the meeting. "No, sir, I don't," replied the deacon, "you've been preaching on the subject of resignation for two years an' ye haven't resigned yet." Miss Spencer in English III-"John, conjugate 'love' ffollowing the outline of 'sing,' which is on the boardlf' John Fredericks-"I sing, I sang-" Miss Spencer-"No, I want love!" John-"But I can't give you that." They sat on the porch at midnight, And their lips were tightly pressed: The old man gave the signal, And the bulldog did the rest. A teacher received the following note from the mother of one of her pupils: "Dear Teacher-Please excuse tommy for not being to schule yester- day. He got wet in the A. M. and I dried him in the P. M." lfPage 1121 Prosy Orator-"l want educational reform, I want economic reform, I wan"- Voice from Gallery-"Chloroform." A tramp stood at a farm house one evening and asked for a job in return for a night's lodging and meals. The farmer put him to milking the cows, but a few moments later the tramp reported that the flies were so bad that the cow would not stand still long enough to be milked. The farmer looked at his Watch and replied: "Wait about half an hou1', 'til supper time. The flies will all be in the dining room then and you can milk in peace." Peter McCau, of the English army, was in the trenches and stood peacefully smoking his cherished pipe that he had thus far managed to save. A comrade came up to McCau asking permission to use his pipe a bit. Just then a big shell went overhead with crash. A moment later the comrade took a peep over the trench just as a shell popped his head off and it rolled down the hill. Up goes McCau and came running back with the comrade's head in his arms. A captain coming up to McCau said: "You old fool, what good is that man's head to you?" ' "His head be durnedg me pipe was in it." ' Forest Fiorini--"How do you like the hoola dancer?" Zip-"She shakes a mean bundle of alfalfa." Francis R.-"Oh, my lips are so chappedf' Linnea T.-'iKeep the chaps away from your lips." Mother-Don't you love Xmas Bobby?" Bobby-"Sure! Xmas is fine. But this being good for a week before- hand is the limit." Alice flooking up from bookj-"Mother, was Robinson Crusoe an acrobat?" Mother-"I don't know, my dearg why?" Alice-"Well, it says here that after he had finished his day's work he sat down on his chest."-Boston Transcript. "Say, Dad, man to man, did you always wash back of your ears?" Miss Hestwood's biology class was discussing the Praccium, and she told the class that the Praccium took in food through the gullet hyosmosis. Herbert Ferguson-"Why don't we take food in through our gullet by osmosis?" fPage 1131 Their Mistakes When a doctor makes a mistake he buries it. When the plumber makes a mistake he charges twice for it. When a lawyer makes a mistake it is just what he wanted, because he has a chance to try the case all over again. ' When a carpenter makes a mistake it's just what he expected. When a judge makes a mistake it becomes a law of the land. When a preacher makes a mistake nobody knows the difference. But when an editor makes a mistake-Good night !-Exchange. The Russian name for "cootie" is "Ivanitch." Black-"Hello, where have you been?" White-"To see my people." Black-"Ah! And how did you find them?" White-"Quite easily-you see, I knew where they lived." Miss Halliday-"What is pastuerized milk?" Bright Freshie-"It is milk that comes from a cow who is kept in a pasture." Mrs. Pulcifer to Tommie O'Brien, who is busily sucking an all-day sucker-"Tommie, you had better put that in your pocket." Tommie-"I would, but I'm afraid I couldn't get it out again." Donald R.-"Why do girls kiss each other and men do not?" Vaughn E.-"Because girls have nothing better to kiss and men have." Mr. Senter-"What is a molecule?" Dick Steele--"A molecule is something that is so small it cannot be seen through a microbef' Erle H.-"What is the difference between a pill and a hill?" Helen S.-"I don't know." Erle H.-"One is hard to get down, and the other is hard to get up." Newell S.-"Who made this fancy ink Well?" Jimmie Roach-"Search meg I didn't even know it was sick?" Clifford S. to Terry Laird-"Do they call you chubby for short?" Terry-"No, for Width." Soph. fto postmanj-"Have you any mail for me?" Postman-"What's your name?" Soph.-"You'll find it on the envelope." IPage 1141 Carmen 0.-"Opal, why don't you take gym any more?" Opal M.-"Trouble with my heart." Carmen O.-"Oh, your breath comes in short pants, eh?" In talking about the starfish having two stomachs, Miss Hestwood asked Louis Sweet to tell about the cow. Louis S.-"The cow eats and then he goes over and sits down." Miss Halliday fexplaining to gym class that she had several pairs of their bloomersl-"Girls," she said, "you haven't your own bloomersg I have them." Sydney Olson treading in Spanishl-"Dona Maria arrived at the country home the day of Christmas night." Slogan Bite off more than you can chew-then chew it. Plan for more than you can do-then do it. Hitch your wagon to a star-Keep your seat, and there you are. L. Sweet-"Why is Gladys Swanson like an Eskimo pie?" E. Beauchamp-"Sweet, but rather cold." Peggy was examining her engagement ring minutely. "What is the translation of the motto on the inside of this ring, Harry?" she asked her fiance. "Faithful to the last!" he inurmured, trying to express the same with his eyes. "How horrid," she said, "and youv'e always told me before that I was the first." "Do you think they approved of my sermon?" asked the newly appointed rector, hopeful that he had made a good impression. "Yes, I think so," replied his wife, "they were all nodding." Jazzing It Up "Eldon, what are you doing, shimmying around like that? Now stand still while Minnie pours out your medicine. Stand still!" "I mustn't stand still, mag it says on the bottle, shake well before taking." Poetry! Miss Spencer-"Herbert, are A1ice's 'feet' all right?" Herbert-"How do I know?" fPage 1151 What animal has the most lives and why? A frog, because he croaks every night. What ship carries the most passengers? Courtship. Why does a miller wear a white cap? To cover his head. What soap is the hardest? Cast steel fcastilej. What do lawyers do when they die? Lie still. What Word can be pronounced quicker by adding a syllable to it? Quick. Why was the first day of Adam's life the longest? Because he had no eve. Who always enjoys poor health? Doctor. Where should you prefer to have a boil? In the kettle. What is the latest thing in dresses? Night-dresses. "Pa, what is your birthday stone?" "I don't know, a grindstone, I guess." Money talks, but if Henry Ford could carry out his ideas it would rattle. "Why did you stick that knife in that man?" - "Well, I saw the police coming and I had to put it somewhere." Crippled Beggar-"Gimme a dime, sirg I'm a poor cripple." Passerby-"How are you crippled?" Beggar-"Financially," Miss Halliday fto girls in gyml-"Some girls use dumbbells to get color in their cheeks." Evelyn Lund-"And some girls use color on their cheeks to get dumb- bells." Bill-"Let's all raise a moustache." Paul-"Yesg it will take all of us to do it." Mr. Senter-"What does the symbol 'A' stand for?" Oma Lawson-"Oh, shucks, I've forgotteng I just had it on the end of my tongue." Mr. Senter-"Hurry up, spit it outg it's Arsenic." Miss Hyde fto Ed. Bernardj-"Were you in sheets last night at the Latin play?" Edward-"Yes," Bacelio B.-"I was, too." Miss Hyde-"Oh, were you in the play, too?" Bacilio-"Nog but I was in sheets last night?" lfPage 1161 Mrs. Pulcifer fin history to lllette Clarky--"You missed the Civil War, didn't you?" Miss Spencer-"How do you express the past perfect of the verb 'drink'?" Art Williams-"Gloriously intoxicated." A Word for Father "Dear God," prayed golden-haired little Willie, "please watch over my mama," and then he added, as an after-thought, "and I dunno as it would do any harm to keep an eye on the old man, too." Particular! A small boy who was sitting next to a very haughty lady in a crowded car, kept on sniffling in a most annoying manner. At last the lady could bear it no longer, and turned to the lad: "Boy, have you got a handkerchief?" she demanded. The small boy looked at her for a few seconds, and then in a dignified tone, came the answer: "Yes, I haveg but I don't lend it to strangers." The Retort Courteous! "I want a black suit," said the solenm customer, "something of a strong, heavy material that will keep its shape and last for a number of years." "You don't want a suit, sir," the modern clerk assured him, "what you want is a coffin." Cars for Everybody Mrs. Crawford-"We're getting up a club to study auto-suggestion. You must join." Mrs. Crabshaw-''Auto-suggestion? If it's a new scheme to get your husband to buy a car, you can count me in." Same Effect Visitor-"You must have been visited by a bad hurricane from the appearance of your buildings." Farmer-"No, I rented my farm last month to a movie concern to make a five-reel comedy." Get It Tuned ' Marion Collins-"That cat of yours kept me awake all night with its yowlingf' Neighbor--"Sorry, but you don't want us to kill it?" Marion-"No, but why not get it tuned?" ' LPage 1171 . i A Grave Mistake! "He1lo! I want to order a box for tomorrow." "What size?" There Will be six of us in the party." But they only come in single sizes-we'll have to have it made special." "Is this the theater?" "No, this is the undertakerf' M It Gentleman Crook4-Pardon me, sir, but haVen't I held you up before?" Weary Victim-"Well, the gun looks familiarg but I've forgotten the face." Too Literal! Jimmie R.--"I hear Pomp was kicked off the squad." Tommie O'B.-"How come?" . Jimmie-"He was told to tackle the dummy and he tackled the coach." Answering the Question "When is a woman old?" "The conceited never, the unhappy too soon, and the Wise at the right time." The Way of a Maid He-"Would you accept a pet monkey?" She-"Oh, I would have to ask fatherg this is so sudden." An Echo Answers "Who" Breathes there a man with soul so dead, Who never to some one hath said: "By golly, this little old bus of mine is some carg you know that awful deep sand at Delhi? Well, sirg you just oughta seen me"- etc., etc. Literal Miss Evans-"How far have you studied, John?" Freshman-"Just as far as the book is dirty, ma'am." Did He! Mother-"Did that man kiss you last night?" Daughter-"You don't suppose he drove 90 miles to hear me sing?" Dick fcalling Jackj-"Can't you come over tonight?" Jack fanswering Dickl-"Oh, I can'tg I'm washing by B. V. D.'s" Just here the operator accommodatingly remarked: 'Tm ringing them." lPage 1181 wELL- DAD, I FLWUKED IN I THATS ALL le.r4'rL,. wfxs A nov MYJELF DIV!! EVERY THING F U ix 1 n " 513A-oE?sE-'EA31df'5Y "Hou 151.5 Q' if Francis s , M' I -.13 B r tr 54 3 f fx 2 4" C 38 ,. L 31,1 .O V Q ,, , 23 5 , - ' . . k,-,- ft J' Lgwzfeff- 5 . r 0 . Q14 J. V . L7 If D ay-, ' J.: r , , 'AV' Ofnver- I ,-. nelson f-1?.E.1?.. -ef -'fl-F'--ff 'I I N-A I HEY J'uLlcT3 ,I 'T '---" Cami. on our! .V ' 'E WEILL 1'roP C. LAY! I 7 2 so As nn 'rv WAKE . Hmuo f -W if Q 5,27 ' 34-'Q 4 X F ,. .1 . ., Jmv 1' : ?D N -A ROM ' : 1 WA - ' 2, , U, 'PF-75 - ' Zig- f 5 L I -1 Al. 6 . 's-- 2 95 H 'R' KZ , ,Y Q H 'fm- -Vff - fi f 51" ...1 , I wo, vw 'fy " u ' ' ' AFETEHIA m Fm fvfffffk ff' . Q ' You -"1 x, off' I 4, 1' .kgs .. 2341 ' Sb Q w p . F Yu QA . 1, 4 ,, , ' We , . W' 1 ' ' 7'-. Y fn , ' H Z 3' 1lX "1 X 7, A -.- 2. , 1 , , , .rv Z? I V I x J- A H Z A N fx .. 'infix 7" S' 44:94 K VA N? '- V- " ,. , ' 3- " "- -' 5 Y: Y , 77081 lPage 1191 I' ii High School Tribune Report WING to the success of Volume I of the High School Tribune, the student body voted unanimously last term to continue the publication of our school paper. During its second year as the official weekly organ of the Turlock High School the paper has continued to rank with some of the best school papers in the state. , The High School Tribune has noticeably differed from the average school paper in that it has throughout its pages maintained a conservative newspaper style in its makeup. This has bee11 made possible through the generosity of a Turlock newspaper in printing the paper as a page in the Turlock Tribune. As a medium of students' opinions the paper has been of interest to its readers since its columns have always been open to com- ments from the students. In short, the paper has proved itself a perma- nent institution in the school and with the proper support it should some day lead the school papers of the state as a clean journalistic production. The editorial staff has remained the same throughout the term: Alfred Alstrom, editorg Merrill Swenson, associate editorg Howren Roach, Earle Richards and Helen Sheld, sportsg Irma Williams, exchanges g lone Rapp, society. The reportorial staff has been composed of the journalism class of which Miss Sprague has been the instructor. Richard Steele has shouldered the responsibilities of business manager and Abner Crowell that of the circulation department. ALFRED ALSTROM '23. IPage 1201 Qlxxli i ffmlilfsfjvgm .ff ff fafff ff 16 f L39 A f iff jj ss HE ALUMNI, more than any other association, shows how the High School has grown. The graduates in any one class of T. H. S. have increased from one in 1908 to 105 in 1923, giving a total of 569 alumni including this year's class. Out of this number many are teachers, me- chanics, electricians, doctors, musicians, bookkeepers, stenographers, dentists, lawyers and nurses. A large number are still attending colleges, and we are glad to hear of the wonderful work they are doing there. The last few years the Alumni have held an annual banquet. .. Last year the banquet took place at Fee's Cafeteria. At this gathering a short business meeting was held and the following officers were elected: President-Harold I-ljelm. Secretary-Dorothy Englesby. Treasurer-Claire Dahlin. After the meeting everyone had an enjoyable. time renewing old acquaintances, and shaking hands with old classmates. ,The present Senior class hopes that in the future the Alumni will have as successful gatherings as this last one was. RUTH BEVANS '23. lfPage 1211 Business Manager's Report S BUSINESS manager of The Alert, I have endeavored to publish The Alert as cheaply as possible without sacrificing in any way the quality, which, in calling for bids, was given first consideration, Bids were received from the three printing houses in Turlock only. Mr. Edwin Ullberg was awarded the contract. I cannot foretell at this writing what the exact cost of The Alert will be as changes are constantly being made, but it will be approximately 31000. All the cuts used in The Alert this year were made by the Commercial Art Company, of San Francisco, to whose representative, Mr. E. C. War- burton, I wish to express my thanks and appreciation for the advice and help which he so willingly gave me. I also wish to express my thanks to Mr. Ratzell, our principal, and Mr. Ullberg, for their help and advice. For the splendid designing of the Senior panels and other art work I wish to thank Miss Beeman and the art department of the school. Last but not least, I :must also thank Mr. T. Shoob, who took all the pictures in The Alert, for his splendid work and his most generous terms. ' FRANCIS BERGSTROM '23, X 7:T?a,,fi l,n,f.if'15e,..LQ.A.1-Q.ife.-Li . I fx if lr t If K, N, X , c x. IPage 1225 KI f-'9fff,tF. I M Apfographs nl -If Karin In A 1 ' r 'Lf ,X END OF THE TRAIL -ud' 5 . 1,..,..- XV,.,-,.XfF,.4- . mit I ,, 1 J-, H rv X N 9-1, . X X - 5, . -:X - A ' 3'-' ' .1-135-U ' YJ XX 3 f XX, . T-1 . " 1-X' Q! , - X- X .ff 4 XX , - Xe--1-ali HSI-l'E'f , , W ,"-. 'X . . TX i . X X - X , Lf- . - , I , L 2 ' 1 . X X X J' """' 4 Xl. -L JIX .l.l ' XXX if . ' , '- ',:' , an 4- . . X - 1 u XA , , !1,' X Q X XX X. .1 . X ' , .',,g-YI , X- i. n' 'J X i H X if . .t V' . J A L' ,, I Z X , X W r ,. X in ' ' J X'f.1x'?V , f 'f X5 ' X. f - X I .' .A X 1--XXXCT - ' X X- - XX - . X - -' - X 0 .- ,. . .J V X ' 4,5 X - 1 X, ' A V XXYQX Xl-X: XX. :f 'X .ul X' Xf, XX1, X+XX XL, . - X X, , -' u X X L, .', I I V 3 Y ,. i' 1 . 'X , X, ' X ' .XX X X - X, X , X . , ,X . L r 'XX' X . H ' X .- , X , Xu . X , - , .X . .. '- ' X X' ,1,4,:-..,,f-X3 ,,' X, X X ,-.., , ,, XX- X . , XX X, X,, - A- - , I I A ,1..'.lXX! , ,X XA-I5 ' -. 1"' A X'DX .' X -Jfz, X -. X .L X ' X , . -- . .u -XXX A ' ,,, -L - X X ' ' X X- ,,,J--- X .. X f ., X X Xwi X --N, ,I I, ..X. XX IX. , X X X X,, X X X X X J' X X ' J W K WX L X ,:' I' . ' H, , '. I , ,X, 1""J'XX' X r.X X ck X, .Fu x ' X ' ' X .' V X ..+ . X J' 3' u 'I , X X1 'X ,. X X " X3 .X J -v. M --1 ,1XX.' W 'X ,N E! X XX., J iff.- .,X.X X- 'X ,IX- X Xi .XX ff XX X 6. Q1 4-. FU -s X Q , ,.v. X X . .. . . 12,4 , . Y . ,X . . ,.. .,' ,f ',.r-': - 'il ' 4-1 .L. 35' "ff: X ":.., A--X '-.- -gig -,,.,.:X 'QL D.. ,--.- .:. Xg, X, ..XA.-X:.- .' 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Turlock High School - Alert Yearbook (Turlock, CA) online yearbook collection, 1920 Edition, Page 1

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