Turlock High School - Alert Yearbook (Turlock, CA)
- Class of 1919
Page 1 of 184
Pages 6 - 7
Pages 10 - 11
Pages 14 - 15
Pages 8 - 9
Pages 12 - 13
Pages 16 - 17
Text from Pages 1 - 184 of the 1919 volume:
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VOL. Xl TURLOCK, CALIFORNIA, jUNE, IQIQ NO
lklulxlinlgrh hy Ihr
Ananriatvh Stuhvnt Enhg
Efurlurk liniun igigh Srrhnnl
. .rf-.'P1f'1r"?fe'wx - -g,,,.,.-..,,,,-A-.mia r
Of a Potential Soldier
The gold of the autumn leaves falling-
The witchery of shifting moonlight-
The scent of the new fallen harvest-
All "Over here" tonight.
I tread the green fields in fancy
In the last, summer dreams of the yenrg
I wander o'er hill and o'er valley-
All undisturbed, "Over here."
The glare of the scourging shell-tire-
The roar of the cannons in tight--
The whistle-of shot and of shrapnel-
All "Over there? tonight. '
An aching heart treads Fields of horror,
An humble one cries in despair-
A soul has "gone west" in glory-
The millions in tears, "Over there."
A-.feegling of unrest and longing
Steals into my sou'l, seething-?"Rigl1t!"-
A desire to be up and doing,
To he nut. somewhere in the figlnl
The peace "Over here" aggravates mc-
O, let me plunge into the fray!
And follow "Old Glory" to vict'ry-
To win in its starry way!
WELLS HIVELY, '10
In lnur. hnnnr. ani! rraprrt fur nur hraur hugs
mhn lsft all In fnllmu the flag anh tn uphnlh th:
priuriplrn nf frrrhnm anh truth:
mhn prnuhlg uufurlvh "GMD Clilurgu in Ihr hattlr
nf right anh mrnug:
Nha ualiantlg ani! uirtnrinualg nut thr fur. anh
mhu. in hunur. raiarh Ihr atanharhn nf hmnnrrarg
hvfurv thr ulurlh.
mr. thr Gllams uf 1915, grairfullg uni! humhlq Irvin
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Roosevelt, the Great American ....
Potential Soldier ................
Dedication Note ........
Service Flag .......
The Faculty .........
Take Warning ....................
Some High School "If's"
The Secret of the Locket ...... y.
In the Postoffice ....... .
The Mascot ............
To Baby Yanthe ......,
The Gracious Lady ..........
Advice to a Freshman ......... ----
Inspection Day .l..
The Nightingale .,.....
The Scape Goat. .......
The Close of Day .......
Senior Class Report ...,..
Ye Seniors ,.... ..........
Class History ..,..
Class Will ................
Senior Prophecy ....,...
Senior Horoscope .........
T. H. S. 100 Per Cent ,,,,,,., ,,,,.
T. H. S. Jazz ...............,,
Thoughts of a Junior ....
Junior Class Report .....,.,.,......,...,,..
Build Ye the Foundation
Freshman Class Report
Honor Roll ........ ,.,,.,.,..,.., .,,,,
Art Club .....
Military Organizations .....,.. .....
Shop Notes ....
J oshes ........
Class Roll ......
Junior College ,.,..............
Junior College Society ........ .....
Gas Attack ,....,..................,
Science and Joshes .........
Page for Signatures ......,.
Principal, Perry Ratzell, 1917
Vice-Principal, M. K. Martin, 1911
Dean of Junior College
Fda L. Long, IQI3-IQI8 l
Un canteen service since November--France?
Helen Coleman, 1915
Mary-Blair Grant, 1915
Edna Plummer, 1916
Hazel Reed, 1916
Gladys Bartlett, IQI7
C. Carpenter, 1917
Boys' Physical Training
Florence Gondring, 1917
George Kyle, 1917
Physics, Biology, General Science
Kate E. Mark, 1917
Ivy Schaffer, 1917
Meta Goldsmith, IQI8
Spanish, Latin, Mathematics
Gertrude Hunt, 1918
Chemistry, General Science
Mildred johnson, 1918
Spanish, French, English
C. S. Mt-Cready, 1918
Mabel Reston, 1918
Girls' Physical Training
Mrs. M. F. Wanzerl, 1918
Joshua Willialns, 1918
J. L. Seymour, 1919
Mrs. Sonnenschein, 1919
lllf l":uultyHlet's give
three theers for them!
Xte wnn't use just the the
.trtlinztry ruh! ruh! ruhl
Hut rather let us give line
fur thtise whit seulcl us, une
fur those who "train" us,
:intl the lust, ll lung runs-
ing une in litnittr uf thuse
whom we elztim as emin-
-" rzules. XX'e realize that :ill
the ulmve qualities :ire nee-
essztry in the llllllitx up ul 11
fzteulty, :intl that prtmhztlmly
nt: one memehr tif our fue-
ulty euultl he elassitietl en-
tirely in une of the ztlmve
Hur fzteultv is stezulilv
gimvviiig in numlmers. XYe
.7kmTlw"8Kzw have seven new memhers
this year. We must nut lztil
tu give limmmlmle mentiun
in Nliss Ecla Ltmg, who at the beginning ttf the year wus ut the hezrl
ttf the English tlepztrtment, hut whit left 'll. ll. S. :luring the "flu"
epitlemxe tor special eztnteen tluty in lirzinee. Xte :ire pr-mtl ttf har!
Neither must we leave nut Mr. Seymour of Lf. C. ur Nlrs. Swnnenslnn:
nt' Keyes, who suhstitutetl in the English tlepzirtnient tlurintg Kliss
.Xll ut our instrnettwrs have ever lmeen lwuntl rezuly :intl willing tw
give ns ztssistztnee :intl zirlviee when we have suught it. XX'e mlm- nut
slight their INDSIIIUIIS :ts ztclvisnrs to the vztriuus elztsses. :intl the help
mul gnitlztnee they halve given us in this eupueity, Nut wnly :ire nur
instruttttrs our teztehers, hut they are :fur frientls. linr example. tlitl
ytnu ev er ntutiee the grtmps uf huys that seem tw ztutumzttieztlly gzttlier
:tlmut "Cairn" :intl "Nl:1e" :tt ntnms ur times uf leisure, selitml parties
wwultl he mlull minus the wit ttf the elztss zulvisttrs.
All the praise we can give these men :intl wumen is tleservetl. :intl
n is ggivtn smeerely. lhe seinurs, us they gn wut, :intl lwwer elztssmen.
. . 4 5 .
:ts thev gt- un will nut turget the memlmers ut' nur te'teher" etvrps nl
l Pl J, XX'e ure sure their persnnulities :uid high stztntlztrtls have been
firmly implatntetl sfvmewhere in the niinmls tif :ill 'll. ll, S. stuflents.
Vit: ,X ggfjjff
HIS story is written with the idea of warning unsuspecting youths
of the terrors of a fishing trip in the company of women. especially
if they bear any resemblance to the following. in size, number, gender,
temperament and age. You may wonder at the use of the word
"gentler" in the above sentence, hut do not worry, the explanation
will he forthcoming immediately. 'llhere are females of the "femalish"
type who can't keep a straight face: they either giggle or
sneezei there are females of the neuter gender who haven't any initia-
tive, hut just stand around looking silly: there are females of the
masculine gender. who have a super-abundance of confidence in them-
selvesgand none in other people-and who assume direction of all
matters and all things brought to their attention: then there are the
real women whom men like to know and to he with. Needless to state.
none of the latter was in my party which consisted of the following:
one cousin: age twelve: size, tall, thin, with sharp corners: tempera-
ment. ground glass: one aunt, mother of cousin: age, about thirty-
eight HJ: female of markedly male characteristics-heavy eyebrows.
fuzzy upper lip, etc,: size, same as daughter, only more so: tempera-
ment, greased lightning: one school teacher: age anywhere lletween
forty and sixty: gender, neuter: size, wide and dominating, large and
overflowing: eccentricities, high heels and wide hat: temperament.
luke-warm man hater: one girl friend of cousin: age, thirteen: size.
plump all over: high lights, small mouth and large feet: temperament.
mush, with a dash of wet sawdust and cactus.
Let me reiterate hefore I go on, DU NUT GO FISHING XYl'l'll
FISMALES. Most of them have about the same attitude toward the
noble sport of fishing as the girl of whom I heard this story. .-X young
man and a young lady went fishing together. The young man asked
the young lady if she did not feel sorry for the poor fish, to which she
replied, "Oh, nog I know that they are happy because they are always
wagging their tails!" Do not, under any circumstances, go fishing with
females. If you simply must, wait until you are married: and then you
can speak out and relieve your mind if it becomes necessary fand it
most certainly willj.
However, what you want is the story, not advice. Advice is never
heeded by young men any way.
My father and I arose at four A. M. one foggy, july morning, and
set out for the beach. At noon we returned in possession of four hali-
but, aggregating some sixteen pounds, and a multitude of other varie-
ties of small fish. Now this was, of course, an unusual catch. Dad
realized it, or pretended to, but I did notg and so, for some days, I
talked of but one thing--fishing. Not that I was in any way keen on
going fishing with a crowd of women, but I thought that if they went,
I could gog and what mattered anything, just so I went? I have
since seen my mistake. I believe that Dad saw it from the beginning.
Dad was entirely unresponsive to my pleadings. He said he was
not particularly desirous of rising at four in the morning, and breasting
a damp fog merely to fish. My father is generally conceded to be a
wise man. I had had my doubts about his wisdom, but I now concede
what others had conceded before me. However, experience is the best
teacher and I am glad, whatever the cost may have been, to have
graduated from that school in that particular department.
It was arranged that we were to rise at four, that is, the cousin,
the aunt. the school teacher and the girl friend were, my mother being
indisposed, and my father-well, his case has been explained. Thus if
things went well which, by the way, they did not, we should leave th:
house about four thirty. Then, if no accidents, detained us, which they
did, we should arrive at the beach about five o'clock, taking into con-
sideration the careful driving which my cargo would necessitate.
Everything would have gone well, had it not been for the over-
zealous cousin. My aunt and cousin slept in one of the two bedrooms
next to mine, and my father in the other. My aunt possessed a Big
Ben alarm. a species which has an inordinate vitality, it is notriously
riotous, and unmitigatingly implacable in its demands upon the fairy.
Slumber. This particular one was no exception, or rather it was ex-
ceptional to the extent that it possessed the above listed qualities in a
super-abundant degree, so abundant, in fact, that if I really wished to
secure revenge on the Kaiser, I should consign him to listen to the
harsh, intermittent jangling of two dozen Big Ben alarm clocks for
the rest of his days. These clocks are singularly persistent, and if the
sleepers be not awakened by the first warning, the second warning will
be forthcoming: if the second does not turn the trick, there is always
at third, and a fourth, and a fifth, and so on, indefinitely. My aunt and
my cousin were both hard sleepers.
My cousin had, in her zeal, set the clotk for the inhuman hour of
three. If you have ever been awakened from your peaceful slumbers
because of the bungling idiocy of a spoiled cousin, you may be able
to sympathize with me. It had been definitely settled the night before
that I, and I only-not my cousin nor any one else-was to rise first:
and that the hour of awakening was to be four, not three. But my
aunt and cousin, being of a breed who even doubt that they themselves
doubt, had doubted the reliability of myself and my alarm. They did
not doubt the reliability of their alarm Qneither do IJ nor of themselves.
Consequently the alarm was set.
The night was dark and clear. The light of the shining stars and
sputtering arc lights strayed through my north window and played
upon my innocent face. Suddenly, from the room next to mine.there
burst a frightful racket, not unlike a fire alarm in its vigorous and all-
arousing enthusiasm. A slight frown gathered on my forehead. I
stirred uneasily in my sleep, then woke with a start. The demon in
yon room raved on. I looked at my clock between the first and second
warnings and found,.to my horror and rising heat, that it was only
three o'clock! The demon, strengthened by his short rest, had recom-
menced his happy chant with an added vigor which would have been
admirable in a more worthy cause-a gas attack or an air raid, for
instance. However, this was no gas attack, neither was it an air raid.
but judging from the sound, the clock seemed entirely unaware of this.
The fog had not yet begun to form, so I patiently regarded the
Stars with a fishy stare while I gritted my teeth and waited for some
one to turn off the noise. A full minute, full of noise, passed, during
which the clock sustained the honor of the house of Big Ben with an
unrestrained fury. I could, or thought that I could hear my aunt's
snores intermingled with the barbaric din. I could stand it no longer,
my nerves were jangled to rawness,
"Hey, there!" I cried.
No response, save from the clock.
"Say," I shouted, "close the mufflerg you are disturbing the neigh-
No reply except the harsh, insistent, metallic demand for attention.
"For the love of the white hairs in George VVashington's best
wig, kindly put that young devil under your pillow!"
I intensified this last by dealing the door of communication a
fetching crack with my closed fist. I wish to take time, for the world's
welfare, hereby to state that it is entirely unproductive of results, and
quite worthy of a permanent resident in an insane asylum to smite a
wooden door with the closed fist. It is not to be thought of. I relieved
i' "' I 'f"'f" T " 1"""?!"?'?'f1'c'4 1
my feelings temporarilyg but as soon as my brain could be commun-
icated with Qwhich was rather soonj my temperature rose to about
seven thousand, live hundred, sixty-seven degrees centigrade.
I marshalled my army of slang and poured out my vials of wrath
upon the stolid door, upon the alarm clock and upon the alarm clock's
owner. My eloquence on that occasion surprises me when I come to
think of it in my calmer moods. Meanwhile the alarm ramped joy-
ously on to the tune of my aunt's snores.
My father, in the other room next to mine, was asleep. I knew
that he was asleep, because I heard him saying things that I positively
knew he would not repeat were he awake and in his right senses. Yet,
as I listened to his mental peregrinations in the world of dreams, I
wondered what he could have encountered so to disturb his mental
equilibrium, and as I listened, my wonder gave way to admiration.
I learned a great many words that morning which are not to be found
in the dictionary.
In a short time my father choked as if overcome and his golden
eloquence trailed off into a few incoherent mutterings, Thus I was
brought back to stern reality. The clock was not overcome. Nay!
Nay! Far from it! The vitality of the thing absolutely amazed me.
I began to suspect that there had been a mistake in assembling the
clock, and that the eight-day time spring had been put in the place of
the five minute alarm spring and vice versa. Desperate to a point
where I threw all caution and my better instincts to the four winds,
I entered my aunt's room without knocking. . -
For a soul-tearing moment, I blinked in the white light of a
mazda, and then I made out the shadowy figure of my aunt in the
far corner of the room. She became clearer and clearer as my 'eyes
became used to the light. It was she who first broke the silence.
"VVhat do you mean, you young renegade? Can't a person secure
a small amount of privacy in one's own room P"
In the meantime the alarm was hitting it off on all sixteen cylin-
ders, the muffler wide open, the spark advanced, and the accelerator
as open as the last notch could make it.
"That was just what I was going to inquire about,"-I remarked
as sarcastically as possible, "You see, the vibrations from your dang
alarm clock have penetrated into the privacy of my bedroom and dis-
turbed the sanctity of my dreams. I am going to turn it off before it
wakens Dad. He might kill some one were he to waken in his present
state of mind."
I made a determined advance upon the alarm. -
"Don't," shrieked my aunt. "Don't turn it off! I am going to let
it run down. It hurts the spring to leave it wound up."
"Really ?" I remarked. "And what was the matter with putting it
under your pillow while it was running down, so that no one else would
be disturbed even if you did get up at three? Or I suppose that you
forgot that there are other people in this vicinity besides yourself?"
"Get out of here, you wretch, I have had enough of your impu-
I got out fast enough after I had informed my aunt that 1 had
had enough of her alarm which, for lack of something else to do, had
run down. '
The object in telling this incident is to show in what a bad humor
we all were when we set off on our wonderful trip, and as a sort of
forecast of what happened later on.
The start was accomplished in almost absolute silence, and with
perfect smoothness. The silence may account for the serenity, and
it was agreeably surprising, considering the number of the female sex
present. I have pondered long and deeply on this phenomenon, and I
have at last come to the conclusion that the women folk were too sleepy
to talk. I find this the only logical answer to the problem.
It is particularly noticeable that wherever there are women pres-
ent, a person is likely to find himself in a perfect maelstrom of con-
glomerate triviality in the form of petty conversation. I have not been
able to decide whether women talk to keep themselves from crying or
to keep themselves from thinking seriously, but I have a very decided
suspicion that they annoy any sane minded person with small talk
just to keep from annoying said persons immeasurably worse with
tearsg and this I think very considerate of them. It is so considerate
that I am half inclined to believe myself wrong.
VVhen we passed the city limits, the heat of the engine had so
warmed every one that conversation began to revive except on my part.
Now, when I get mad, I Wait until I have a good reason to be mad:
and then I get mad and stay mad. With women it's different Cas it
always isj. They get mad at any little thing, but forget it the next
minute. Not that it does me any good to get mad and stay mad, but
all the same I think that it is saner and more human to do as I do.
However, as the conversationalistic temperature rose, my nerves.
usually quite steady, 'failed me, I placed my foot on the accelerator,
thus causing a simultaneous rise in- the temperature of the radiator.
The conversation lanquished not a bitg but I did not listen for I was
too busy trying to keep the car from skidding, hence I obtained relief.
just before disaster overtook us, I happened to hear my aunt say,
"My! isn't this Fine?" and then she saw the speedometer: whereupon
she relieved herself of an electrifying screamg then she placed herself
athwart the steering wheel a position from which I experienced some
considerable difficulty in dislodging her. Meanwhile. the old car was
acting as though the signals had gotten mixed. To all the extremes
-,'j -V-3... '-"ff - I "' mm
did she go. Now she was on one earg now on her hind wheels trying
to manufacture a figure five on the wet pavement. I will say of that
incident, that, if I could re-perform it and live through it, I would
make several barrels of money. I think, however, that I should choose
some one else besides my aunt to hang on to my arm.
The women folks kept still for so long after this incident that I
began to wonder. They were not crying, to my knowledge, and so,
inconceivable as it may seem, they must have been thinking seriously
fprobably about my close proximity to profane language so short a
Under these auspicious circumstances I was able to maintain a
speed of almost twenty miles an hour. My peace and joy did not last
long. My father, swayed by the flamboyantly boastful English of a
pink poster, had purchased, much against my will, a very, very good
bargain in the form of a very, very cheap tire, which now inhabited
the left rear wheel of our auto. Of a sudden it saw Ht to blow out
Qhalf the inner tubej. My anger at this juncture was almost as un-
reasonable as that of the female species in that it embraced everything
and everybody. By a terrific effort, I placed the hand brake in the last
notch to the rear, at the same time I allowed the assembled muscle
of my good right leg to force the foot brake within a pa,per's width
of the floor. The natural result was that the car should have come to
a sudden and abrupt stop, but nothing of the sort happened, Instead,
we continued on the slimy surface of the wet pavement as though
nothing had happened. I realized that we were skidding, and so I
turned the front wheels toward the gravel at the side of the road. VVe
skidded alarmingly for a moment, but the car righted and cogntinuerl
toward the gravel. '
When the hind wheels left the gravel, the delayed action functioned
with great rapidity. The car stopped. However, that did not stop
us. VVe continued with varying fortunes. I tried my luck against the
rigid steering wheel, and let me say that a soft, pliable abdomen is
not to be placed with impunity against an unyielding steering wheel.
My aunt endeavored to pass through the wind shield, but unsuccess-
fully. Had we been going much faster, Dad would have had a new
piece of plate glass to buy.
As might be expected, I was unmercifully keel-hauled and raked
over the coals by all present. But I was deaf to their polite impreca-
tions although the hidden venom in their words must have made
Captain Kidd turn over in his grave a half dozen times.
I was not particularly keen about changing a nice damp tire in
a nice damp fogg but it had to be done, as the man said when he tied
the fat lady's shoe string in a hard knot. I was making it nicely when
the awful cousin had to interfere . In a boastful effort to instruct the
girl friend in the art of driving an auto, she released the hand brake,
whereupon the left hind fender handed me quite a fetching crack in
the eye, so disturbing my equilibrium in the operation that I sat down
with considerable force in the "goo" of the wet pavement. What I
said would have burned up a desert cactus but my cousin remained
unmoved, and to make matters worse, my aunt gave me a lecture upon
i'manners" which interested me about as much as, "X is to y, as z is
to q: find the value of r,"
When we arrived at our destination, it was well on toward sig:
o'clock and most of the choicest fishing had been missed. Needless
to say, I was not in the best of tempers, but the women were jabbering
away like magpies. "VVonderful!" "Grand!" and "Ohl" were the most
commonly used words. Indeed, I do not believe that I heard much
else. It.quite annoyed me. I was for fishing and nothing but fishing,
We had come to fish, so let us fish. As the women couldn't see
my reasoning, and as they insisted on sightseeing instead of fishing,
I left them and started out to find a good comfortable bench from
which to operate.
In about an hour the stragglers straggled up, still exclaiming with
large "Ah's!" and "Oh's!" They had not missed me yet. I had two
lines out, a halibut line, which is one having the ordinary sinker, hooks
and bait: the other, the snag line, consisting of a number of shiny
hooks and a shiny sinker, The fish are attracted to this line by one's
jerking the line up and down in the water. No bait is used and they
are quite convenient, provided one does not hook a pile or a crab,
if one does, then fifty cents to the bad.
My cousin spotted me first, "Why, there is Bruce!" she cried.
I had had fairly good luck and best of all, I had been removed from
the distracting conversation of my aunt's coterie, hence I was in almost
a good humor. ,
"Why, hello!" I said, holding up a two-pound halibut that I had
landed, "What do you think of this?"
"That is all well and good," spat my aunt, "but if we had missed
you, what should we have done? I declare, you have absolutely no
consideration for others at all,"
"But you did not miss me," I replied.
"Are you going to fish here P" she veered.
"Why, I expect so, unless you are," I answered.
"VVell, we are not. VVe are going out to the end of the pier, where
all the decent people are." '
At this juncture a rather large fish, judging from the pull of him,
began to nibble at my line. My attention was immediately diverted
from my aunt as I began to play him off. I was so absorbed that I
did not hear my aunt ordering my cousin to take my line while I
went up the pier to put out my aunt's lines. A
My cousin did not realize what my actions indicated, for she
reached over my shoulder and forcibly extracted the pole from my
hands. Such a proceeding would make even a' saint swear backwardsig
and I am far from being a saint. Even so, what I felt like saying
would have dried up the Indian Oceang what I did say would have
burnt the paint off a battleship. My dear aunt threatened to tell my
father on meg but as I remembered what I had heard early in the
morning, I dismissed that contingency with a smile. Otherwise I
think that I should be inclined to view su.h a proceeding with sus-
picion as my father is quite old fashioned in some of his notions.
VVhen I finally got them all settled, each with a snag line and a
halibut pole, I made my way back to my cousin. A great ruin stared
at me, My line was entangled in the firm embrace of an absent
neighbor'sg and my cousin was crying over a, pin prick which she had
received. lVhen I saw that mess, I said not a word, but I felt like
an old.Christian martyr as I set feverishly to work to untangle the
muddle before our neighbor should return. I knew very well what
he would sayg and I knew also, that he would not say it in a very
complimentary or a very soft tone of voice.
I have untangled some very badly muddled up fishing lines in my
day, but I never have seen the equal of the one my cousin made that
day. VVomen are singularly adept and skilled in the art of tangling
things. I begin strongly to suspect that that is the only thing 'which
they can do with any degree of certainty and skill. I couldn't finish
my work in time, and when my returned neighbor saw his line, I
could tell that he was a fisherman who knew how to fish by what
he said. VVhat he did not say was not worth saying. If there had
been an officer around then, that man would most certainly have been
taken up on the charge of disturbing the peace. After his initial out-
burst, even though I used singular eloquence in clearing myself, con-
versation lagged for some reason or other. H
I breathed a great sigh of relief when we had at last separated
our linesg and I sent up a fervent prayer that my cousin would turn
her nose in some other direction than mine. My snag line I found
to have attached itself firmly in a pile, andy that all the coaxing I could
muster would not induce it to release its holdg so I applied the force
of my arm and broke off all the hooks save one. I went over to the
fishing supply store to get a new line. I was in hopes that I should
be allowed a short space of time to myself in which to fishg but my
hope was vain, In a very short while, my cousin came running down
the pier, crying that auntie had caught a fish and that I was wanted
immediately. I hurried anxiously and puzzledly to my aunt's assist-
ance. I found her clinging desperately to her snag line. This per-
plexed me somewhat for I could not see how she could have caught
a large fish on that line. Indeed, I did not see how she could have
caught any kind of fish. The line was perfectly stationary where it
entered the water, close to one of the piles. I began to be suspicious.
My suspicions faded, however, when I tugged on the line. I choked.
VYhen I regained enough -of my composure to warrant speaking, I
remarked that, by skillfully neglecting her line, she had managed
to implant fifty cents in a thankless pile which was absolutely useless
as a substitute for fish. My aunt, after thanking me quite coldly for
the information, launched out on a general tirade against the unman-
nerly actions of young boys, and wound up by saying that it wasn't
her fault that the line got tangled. Here she paused as though she
expected me to press the chargeg but I had previously ascertained
the absolute futility of arguing athwart a woman's willg and so I kept
a discreet silence while I viciously broke off the snag line just at the
gut which had borne the last hook.
After my aunt had been re-equipped, I returned to my base and
recommenced operations. I took off a two and one half pound laddie,
then I turned my attention to my snag line. I found that, during my
absence, it had drifted around and caught in something. I gave a
savage pull, calculated to break the line into several million pieces.
But no. The object to which my line had become attached, yielded.
My hopes soared as I carefully hauled in. When the object reached
the surface, I gazed upon the battered remains of an erstwhile milk
bucket filled with mud and water and the gathered rubbish of several
decades. I marveled at the strength of my line. Very gingerly I
worked the bucket up to within two feet of the pier. I leaned down
to grasp it. just as my hand touched the rim, the line broke.
I was intensely chagrined. I resolved never to fish with a snag
line again even were I starving. I had about made up my mind never
to come fishing again CI had long since formed a resolution never to
come with womenj, when my cousin, that evil messenger, informed
me that the school teacher, being very much absorbed in a debate upon
the relative lengths of recesses, had indulgently allowed a fish to
kidnap her pole and that even now the fish and the pole were under-
neath the pier on their way to the opposite side. I had become inured
to the silly flagrant foibles of my female torturers and I took this added
blow without a word of remonstrance.
To make a long story short, I was obliged to descend one of the
piles to rescue a bamboo pole, minus the top section and all of the line.
at the expense of great injury to my trousers and my personal feelings,
physical and otherwise.
It was getting along about ten o'clock when I finished my role as
life saver and then the fishing was bad, After a few more unimportant
incidents the like of which I shall leave to your imagination, we set
out, much to my joy, for home.
In summing up the results of the trip, I found the following:
A lot of good sleep and good humor for tiveg half of one inner
tubeg three snag linesg top section of fishing poleg line, hooks and
sinker for sameg part of one pair of trousers.
One blowoutg bad humor for fiveg two halibutg one exceedingly
well developed black eyeg sundry scratches upon my pedal extremities:
21 personal distaste for fishing with women.
Moral: "Cherchez la femmefl
-BRUCE PEARSON, '20.
Some High School "IPS"
If you can keep your head, when all about you
Are pretty girls, some making eyes at youg
If you can think of them and do your lessons,
And make allowance for their flirting toog
If you can master love and mathematics,
And treat these weighty subjects just the sameg
If you agree with teachers when they tell you
"That dreams of love will never lead to fame 9"
If you can calmly watch some other fellow
Take home your girl because his car is newg
If you can drive your Ford and keep from longing
To break his head and own a Buick, toog
If you can wish him joy, and really mean it,
And say, "Old boy, you're welcome to my girl g"
If you can gladly fill each blessed minute
XVith only noble thoughts and deeds well doneg
You're far too good for earth and all that's in it,
XVhat's more, you'll be an angel soon, my son.
HAROLD HJELM, '21.
The Secret of the Locket
0 NE afternoon during the great world war, Mrs. Emerson sat read-
ing the last number of "The Ladies' Home journal," As she
turned to the news pictorial, a group of undernourished children
stared at her.
"There is more than one group," she said. "These little boys must
be twins-A pretty, but starved baby-There's an intelligent boy and
gill and how like Theresa's are that little girl's eyes!"
the bent intently over the page. Soon she discovered that the
cllildren whose pictures were on that page were Belgian orphans
who were not only penniless but homeless. The magazine was ap-
pealing to prosperous Americans to give homes to the little waifs
whom Germany's militarism had made motherless and fatherless,
Mrs. Emerson was a childless woman. She and her husband lived
happily in the suburbs of Oakland. Quickly thoughts began to come
to her. There was no reason why they could not welcome at least
two of the poor little mites into their home. There was room, and
Her eyes kept wandering about the page, but they always came
back to the picture of the "intelligent boy and girl," the girl who hal
eyes so strangely like Theresa's. Thoughtfully she alternately gazed
out of the window, and looked' eagerly back at the page of pictures,
That evening after discussing the matter with her husband, Mrs.
Emerson wrote to the journal and requested that the two children be
sent to her home.
For several weeks there were many preparations in the Emerson
home. A playroom was miraculously added to the house, while pretty
bedrooms were mysteriously fashioned from one of the guest rooms.
l At last came the eventful day on which the new members of the
household were to arrive. Having taken one last look at her prepar-
ations, Mrs. Emerson hurried away in a spirit of great expectancy.
Of course she must be there to welcome the little tots!
It would be very pleasant to have two little people in the large
home. They would be her own, too-not by birth, of course, but she
would be a real mother to them just the same.
By this time she had reached the pier where the boat was drawing
in. How should she know them? But then, those eyes-like Theresa's
she'd surely recognize them. Presently a little boy and girl came down
the gang-plank. But they couldn't be the ones. She had never seen
little beings so emaciated. Poor kiddies! Mrs. Emerson found herself
moving eagerly forward. However, they were the children for whom
she had looked so eagerly. All the motherly love that God had
placed in her heart welled up in her. She reached them, introduced
herself, and cuddled them both in her arms. '
As they were getting into the car which waited at the curb for
them, Mrs. Emerson suddenly was filled with horror. She had noticed
for the first time that the boy's right hand had been amputated. Cf
course, she managed to conceal her thoughts, for she knew that little
Albert was too much of a man, even though only nine, to accept pity.
During the ride to her home she wondered how such a misfortune
could have befallen the child.
VVhen the car stopped beneath the portechochere, Mrs. Emerson
told the children this was their new home. Then she led them up to
their rooms. There she left them with the maid to remove the travel
stains while she went down to the library.
Here she summed up the things that had been forcibly brought to
her mind. She counted them off on her fingers. First, these little ones
must have quantities of good nourishing food. She must have ever
so much more milk than her present supply. She should order it that
evening. She reached for a memoranda pad and made a note, Sec-
ondly, the youngsters needed love--all that she and james could lavish
upon them. The third fiinger was for "lots of pretty clothes." Then
she thought of the competent governess they must find-and a swing
in the grape arbor would be sure to please them.
Besides these there were other things she had noticed, Antoinette.
who was thirteen, seemed to be taking the place of both mother and
father to the little 'brother. "Goodness knows though," she exclaimed,
"he is such a little man he doesn't seem to need mothering. That the
children speak almost perfect English, is rather strange, ,I think."
just then she thought of an errand in the kitchen, She would
tell cook to use lots of cream, and to put an extra egg in the custard.
As she neared the door which swung into the kitchen, .she heard gthe
maid telling cook,"-most beautiful old chain and locket to match that
I ever saw. Do you suppose she'd let me take it off when I bathed
her? I should say not! Of course, she didn't say it with her lips, but
her eyes seemed to say, 'Don't you even touch it.. It is the most
sacred thing I possess."' I 2
It was a happy group of four who sat at the dining table fhat
evening. Mrs. Emerson knew perfectly well that children should eat
in the nursery, but as they were such dears, she made an exception
that evening for it seemed so much more like a real family that way.
james Emerson fell in love with the little folks at once, He filled
their plates again and again until little Albert said laughingly, fand
this was the first sign of joyous mirth he had shownj: "Non, non,
monsieur! Merci, monsieur. I have dined as a king tonight. I could
not eat another mouthful."
The little fellow sat up very straight when he said the word king.
His sister explained, "Albert is named for our great and good king.
He tries always to remember to be worthy of the name."
At bed time Mrs. Emerson herself tucked the children into bed as
she remembered her mother had always done for her and her sister
when they were little. As she drew the covers over Antoinette, she
noticed that the child had not removed the beautiful chain she wore.
"Let me take your chain, dear. I'll put in on the dresser for you,"
"No, no," said Antoinette as she clutched the chain in both little
hands and held it tightly. "I never take it oi."
Mrs. Emerson said no more about it, but passed down the stairs
to join her husband. For a long time they sat discussing the events of
the day just closed.
The days that followed were happy ones for the four who lived
in the large house on the hill, Soon the children lost the hungry,
starved look that had characterized them at first. Their eyes gradually
came out from their sunken depths, and the happiness of childhood
again gleamed there. Of course, the dark, heavy, thread-bare gar-
ments had been replaced at once by pretty, light colored ones. Indeed,
there never was such a change in two children.
Their foster mother was "Muzzie," and Mr. Emerson, "Daddy,"
to the children. At first they had wished to be called "Mother" and
"Father," but there were protests, and the little girl's hands went up
to the chain which hung about her neck. Mr. and Mrs. Emerson then
guessed that the children held those names sacred in memory of their
One afternoon when Albert and Antoinette were in the arbor,
Mrs. Emerson remarked to her husband, "james, do you think it
strange the children' have never mentioned their parents, or the trag-
edies they must have passed through? Why, we do not even know
how Albert lost his little hand! I have never asked, of course, but I
have thought it strange they have not told us those things."
"But they are happy now. Let's not remind them of things that
would make them sad. Let them forget all that gl' and Mr. Emerson
resumed his reading.
After a short silence, "james, don't you think Antoinette has
pretty eyes?" '
He closed the book and laid it on the table before he answered.
"I have often noticed how pretty her eyes were. Don't you know, it is
a strange fancy of mine,-but I have thought they looked ever so
much like your sister's. She has the same little way of closing them,
and then letting a little smile break over her face as she opens them."
There was silence in the room for a time. Happy laughter
floated through the window into the room. The children were swing-
ing each other in the new swing which hung in the shade of the vines.
All at once the laughter ceased. Mrs. Emerson stopped rocking
and listened. Then she went quickly to the window to see the cause
of the sudden quiet where the children were playing. lVhat she saw
was a little drama whose actors were not aware of being watched.
Albert had fallen from the swing in such a way that his leg was
bent beneath his body's weight. The results were very painful. His
little face was drawn with suffering. For a time his eyes remained
dry, and he uttered no sound, But we know that a nine-year-old boy,
though very brave, and named for a king can hardly bear the suffering
that a broken limb causes-for it was broken-without in some way
A pitiful groan escaped from his quivering lips. The lad could
not help trying now. Then the watchers fMr. Emerson was now at
the window with his wifej saw a strange thing. NVhen Antoinette had
straightened the boy's body into the most comfortable position, she
gently rebuked him for crying-for the tears were falling faster now.
"Petit frere, do not do that. I am sure, King Albert would not cry
for physical pain." The spectators saw her hands go up to the locket
at her throat.
"Ma chere mere would not be proud of her Albert now, I think."
Instantly Albert dried the tears. He even suppressed the groans.
"That must take sand!" Mr. Emerson ejaculated, as he hurried out to
them. His wife sought the family doctor by telephone,
The last strip of gauze had been wound about the leg that was
now in splints. Mr. Emerson had gone down the stairs with the
doctor. Mrs. Emerson and Antoinette stood beside the bed where
The boy's hand crept up to the beautiful chain and locket. As
his fingers closed over the golden case, he looked up to Antoinette and
whispered, "They are always with us, is it not so?"
Then she turned to Mrs. Emerson and explained, "Ma, mere's
picture and King Albert's symbol are heref, She pointed to the
locket. "We can not forget to be good and brave when we remember."
For the first time the precious case was opened to Mrs. Emerson.
She looked and uttered a piercing cry, "Theresa!" VVhat she saw was
the picture of a pretty woman whom she recognized as her sister:
opposite it was the Belgian flag.
"Theresa," Antoinette said it wonderingly. "My name is Theresa-
Theresa Antoinette. Ma mere's was the first: grandmere's Antoinette."
"Your mother was an English woman?"
Mrs. Emerson sat still, thinking. Yes, it must be. Oh, yes, the
handsome young foreigner Theresa married was a Belgian. Her
thoughts went back to the old home in England, and to the last time
she had seen her sister, when her father had been so displeased by the
marriage. Theresa had said she would not come back. She had kept
her word. So they had gone to Belgium. W'ell, that was only
natural after all. Had she not come to Mr. Emerson's country?
She left the room, but soon returned with a photograph. Silently
she held it out to the children. Both echoed the words, "Ma mere-
Then Mrs. Emerson said, "Don't you see, dears, your mere Theresa
was my sister? Then you are my niece and nephew. Now won't you
tell me about her-and your father?"
- Simply, Antoinette said, "Father was one of the brave soldiers
who died for Belgium. Ma mere-oh! Ma mere gave her life for
Belgium, too. We saw her fall beneath a heavy beam during an air
raid." A hard light came into the four little eyes. The boy struggled
to sit up, but remembering the splints which made it impossible, he
fell back on the pillow. The light in his eyes burned brighter as he
"They are both in heaven with the other Belgians the Germans
killed. Some day God will send them down as angels to punish the
Hun. I am sure of- it. I am sure that He will punish the German
who cut off my hand so that I might never carry a gun-."
"Who said you could never carry a gun-or anything else? Mr.
Emerson was at the door. "I have just had a talk with Dr. Stevens,
who is sure we can get you a new hand,-one that will move, too.
Yes, it is strangeg but the great doctors do wonderful things, you
"Uncle," Antoinette corrected.
"Yes, uncle, really: but I like Daddy better. Which do you like.
ma tante, or Muzzie?" A
-DOROTHY ALQUIST, '19,
In the Post Office
QSuggested by "In the Depot."j
Folks--coming and going,
Busy folks and glad folks and sad folks
Rushing, hurrying with bundles and letters,
Their footsteps thudding on the wooden floor.
Painted girls, with highly scented powder,
Sickening to the sensesg
Freckled lads with carrot hairg
Grinning youngsters, shy and awkward,
Pale, thin women, with troubled faces,
Laughing women, with stiff, starchy dressesg
Men, brisk, neat in appearance
Sorting out large enveloped letters and scanning the contents,
Lank, hungry-looking men with hollow eyes,
Staring, vacant-eyed men,
Chewing gum folks with jaws of perpetual motion,
Soldiers, sailors-whom all eyes follow,
Cigarette-smoking boys with an air of importanceg
Girls, self-conscious, and desirous of boys' eyesg
Stout folks with bright, smiley eyes-
Folks, rushing, hurrying,
Their footsteps thud, thud on the wooden floor,
These are the folks in the post office.
' -B. GOLLONG, '20,
VVhen mother speaks in that tone of voice, I know it means busi-
nessg so I sighed and scrambled off sister's dressing table where I was
trying to fix up as she does.
"jean!" the voice floated up the stairs, "Hurry down and help me.
Sir Guy is coming to take Isobel to the concert tonight, and he will
be here to dinner."
I hid some perfume and hastily set things in order so sister Isobel
would not think I had been meddling. Sir Guy coming! I hate that
long, lanky, glass-eyed Englishman that Isobel goes with. He is as
sour as a crabapple and always looks at me over his glasses with a
condescending glance, as if I were tiny and insignificant compared with
him. I hate his languid air. He is not at all like jimmy Carter whom
s'-1 I ff
Isobel used to like. I love jimmy. He romps and scraps with me
and takes me riding, and buys me ice cream, while Guy-I don't see
why Isobel likes him.
XVhen I had descended, Mother sent me to the garden to pick
peas. Here I was right under the kitchen window and heard Mother
talking to Dad.
"That Englishman gets my goat," Dad was sayingg "and .lsobel
hasn't spunk enough to send him about his business. If she doesn't,
somebody else will, VVhat's the matter with her and young Carter,
"O, they had a foolish quarrel at college a while back," sighed
Mother, "and neither one will make up, although both are dying to.
Isobel had long counted on hearing this concert with jimmy, but now
she won't. She cried all last night about it, So now she goes with
Sir Guy to spite Jimmy, and jimmy stays at home to spite her, while
they both spite themselves. I wish they'd forget their quarrel and go
"Yes, and forget this Englishman, too," replied Dadg "the girl's
a fool, and young Carter's worse, but this Englishman-he's the limit."
After I had delivered the peas, I ran to my favorite corner by the
lilac bush to think. Here was the problem: Isobel crying to hear the
concert with jimmy, and too peered to be nice to him: Jimmy too
stubborn to ask herg and old Sir Guy poking along to hll jimmy's
place. I resolved that sister should hear that concert with jimmy.
Therefore I made my plans. Perhaps I might hear the concert too,
I thought, if I was very nice, 'cause Jimmy liked me and had often
taken me with him before.
'That evening I was dressed in my newest white frock to receive
Sir Guy. Isobel was in her room trying not to let her eyes nor her
nose appear redg Mother was tending to dinner, so I had to entertain
Sir Guy. On the front porch was a little bench that Sir Guy liked
to sit ong this had just been freshly painted. I moved it to his favorite
corner. I thought if he got that green paint on his suit, he couldn't
take Isobel to the concert. After that, the next thing was to get
The purr of a motor caught my ear as a limousine rolled up. Sir
Guy lolled out wearing his glass-eye Ca monocle I believe sister calls
itj, white gloves, and carrying a cane. I sighed as I met him on the
porch for I hated to be near him. even though it was for Isobel's sake.
"Q, how do you do?" drawled Sir Guy. "I'm so sorry to be late.
but it is only a trifle. Is Miss Isobel in ?"
"She will be down in a minute," I said, looking down at my Mary
Janes. "VVon't you wait here till 'she comes? I'll take your coat and
"O, deah me!" exclaimed Sir Guy, looking all over and suddenly
seeming to notice me. "U, yes, of course." ,
Inwardly quaking, I took his wraps as I showed him the green
bench, where he sat down unconcernedly. Isobel came down soon,
perfectly grand in a shimniery dress, and sat in a chair by Sir Guy.
Sir Guy rolled a cigarette and at the same time rolled all over the
green paint on the bench. I slipped away unnoticed and ran through
the orchard to jimmy's house, where I found jimmy sulkily mowing
"Hello, kidlet!" he cried, looking at me with surprise. "What's
wrong with yourself now P"
"O, nothing's wrong with me," I laughed. I was so glad to see
jimmy once more. He has the nicest smile and the nicest curl right on
"It's for Isobel," I cried breathlessly. f'Sir Guy's all green and
Isobel cries all night and you're to take her to the concert tonight!
Do come, quick!"
"What-whatis that?" gasped jimmy. "Hold on, girl. Say it
over againg quick!"
His eyes were sparkling. I love the sparkle in jimmy's eyes.
"O, it's this way," I said. "Isobel cries 'cause you won't make up
with her and she wanted to go to the concert with you, but she has to
go with that silly Englishman, whom she doesnit like. I made him sit
on some green paint to spoil his clothes so he would'nt go. I bet he's
hopping mad now: so you hurry and come take Isobel."
jimmy looked dazed, but he caught on.
"Sure, kidlet," he cried, "soon as I change my clothes," and he
dashed into the house. I was so tickled I ran around the lawn, laugh-
ing and shoving the mower along the grass. I heard jimmy working
furiously with a collar, and talking under his breath to a naughty collar
button, but I didn't careg I liked jimmy so.
In a minute jimmy brought out his car into which I jumped.
Away we sped down the road. My! but it was nice to ride beside
jimmy again. Sir Guy's limousine was still in front of the house, but
as we stopped the car, he rushed down the walk, trembling with anger,
He was indeed a sorry looking spectacle with his monocle dangling
and the back of his suit covered with green paint. Dad, on the con-
trary, was doubled up with laughter, even Isobel had laughed until
she cried, while Mother was the only one who seemed concerned.
"Bah l" fumed Sir Guy, not even noticing us as he entered his
machine and banged .the door. "For this-for this-ah! I'll not forget
this insult, Miss Isobel! No, by George, no! You just forget your
concerts, Bah !" and then he stormed and muttered between his teeth
It was too funny for words.
As he disappeared angrily. down the road in a spurt of dust, we
came up to the folks who were still shrieking on the porch.
"It was funny, poor fellow," said Mother wiping her eyes. "His
suit is ruined, but who do you suppose put that bench on the porch 3"
The folks jumped. Isobel gasped.
"I did it," I repeated, rushing on to explain. "I hated Guy anyway
and I knew Isobel didn't like him, and as she cried because of Jimmy,
and I liked jimmy too, I wanted him to take Isobel- tonight, and-
Isobel was blushing furiously. Dad looked pleased.
"Sure, Isobel, it's all right. We'll let by-gones be by-gonesf' said
jimmy, "and forget. You'll go with me tonight, won't you?"
No one could resist jimmy's pleading. Isobel, blushing, said yes:
and Mother asked him to dinner. As he went in, I plucked his sleeve:
"jimmy," I whispered.
"Jimmy, you know I like concerts. You know, jimmy, and your
"Sure, kidlet," he cried. "You bet you can go with us. You're
my lucky girl. You'll be our mascot. Come along," and I smiled
contentedly as we sat down to the table.
-WELLS HIVELY, '19.
To Baby Yanthe
Wistful eyes, smiling eyes, eyes of shining blue,
Naughty eyes, laughing eyes, eyes that mirror youg
Lips that pout, lips that smile, like a gleaming cherry.
Sweetest lips ever found, stolen from a fairy,
Clinging curls, maddening curls, curls of shining gold,
Nodding curls, beckoning curls, curls both shy and bold:
Twinkling feet, pattering feet, feet of snowy white,
Dimpled feet, naughty feet, quickest when in flight.
Oh, the smile of her, the wile of her,
The charming little guile of her,
The crinkling eyes with laughter filled,
That make you do what e'er she's willed.
I can not name her charms, they're like the stars at night,
Filled with witchery and mockery and innocent delight.
She's the sweetest baby, but let me tell you this,
You really can not know her--until you feel her kiss.
LULU BARRICKLOVV, '19,
wall, . -
The Gracious Lady
T was a very hot day in summer. The sun's rays beat down upon
the defenceless streets of a dusty city until the very bricks seemed
to cry out for mercy. So thought Greggy, a poor little news boy, in
a hazy, vague way as he half stumbled down the street, In his arms
he held a few crumpled newspapers.
"Honest," he half muttered drawing in a choking breath of the
stifling hot air. "Honest, I wisht I was dead." XYith a grim twist
of his lips, pitiful to see in one so young, he added-"That place wot
some people don't think it polite to say couldn't be much hotter."
He was a manly little chap, straight and slim, with a shock of
curly light hair, and eyes bluer than the eternal blue of the cloudless
sky. But the perspiration streamed down his face, and his eyes held
a weary look that was deepening almost into desperation. just then
it seemed to him as if all the sun's rays concentrated their glaring heat
upon him. He wilted visibly. Wildly he looked around. Seeing a
large arched doorway, he stumbled into it. It did not seem much
cooler there, but at the top of the marble stairway a large electric fan
was whirling and Greggy began climbing toward it. Underneath the
fan a wicker chair had been placed and into it he dropped with a
grateful sigh. Then, having recovered a little, Greggy looked around
curiously and saw a sign with the words "ART GALLERY TO THE
LEFT." So great was his relief from the burning heat below that
in reaction to the numbing, miserable feeling caused by the heat, a
joyous spirit of adventure seized him. lllhat was to hinder him from
visiting the Art Gallery? He remembered vaguely of reading in one
of his newspapers that some great artist was having an exhibition
somewhere-and that it was free. Of course this must be it. Gazing
in some trepidation down at his ragged and patched trousers, he
started toward the left. He entered the first room, It was empty
except for an old man in uniform who had a kindly wrinkled face
that smiled in half surprise at him. The thick green carpet felt very
pleasant to his tired feet, and the cool spaciousness and restful colors
delighted his wistful eyes. The pictures, though he dimly sensed in his,
mind they were beautiful, did not interest him much-just the physical
rest occupied his attention. But having wandered aimlessly through
several rooms, he entered one and saw finally through a distant door-
way a picture that did interest him keenly. It drew him. Swiftly he
sped toward it.
It was rather a small picture of a woman, quite plain, one thought
her at first glance fand few people take more than one glancej. But
her eyes deep, wonderful, glowing with sympathy and tenderness-
these drew Greggy as a magnet. He did not notice the groups of
people who had entered the rooms. They wandered aimlessly around
gazing carelessly at the pictures and looking at him with curiosity as
he slipped up to the picture and sank down on a foot stool at its foot.
One of the visitors, a short, pompous, sandy haired man said with
faint contempt: "Look at that queer kid over there. He seems crazy
over that picture. Awfully ordinary-I think."
"XVhat can you expect?" said the lady with him. "Only a news
boy. It's a wonder they let him in."
"NVell-" replied the man in a bored tone. "If they insist on having
these exhibitions free-." He yawned. Then pointing to a painting of
a brilliant sunset somewhat on a futuristic plan. "Fairly decent-eh?"
Over in the corner opposite Creggy stood a tall, stooped, rather
melancholic looking man, who glanced often at Greggy though most
of the time he watched the passing throngs with a strange intensity
in his fine, tired eyes. Having overheard the words of the pompous-
looking man and lady, his lips curled slightly-but a weary look came
into his eyes. Then he glanced back at Greggy, still engrossed-his
thin cupped in his hands, his eager eyes fastened on the painting. A
tender smile replaced the man's cynical one as he moved toward him.
This was a picture that did not annoy one, if one came close, by
seeming to disappear into meaningless daubs of paint. On the con-
trary, the woman seemed to glow from the canvas and to Greggy she
was very, very real. He thought of a phrase he had read once in a
tattered fairy story book. The prince had addressed his mother, "My
Gracious Lady." He loved the phrase. Unwittingly he repeated it
aloud. And then softly over and over again, "My Gracious Lady."
The man overheard: his Fine, tired eyes lost their weariness. A de-
termined look crossed his countenance. He slipped quietly out of the
Greggy was all alone in the world. He did not remember either
his father or his mother, He knew only his foster parent, the kind, old
Irish woman with her brood of seven, she who worked so hard for
a wretched livelihood and could not quite straighten her back from
constant bending over the wash tub. Before he could barely totter,
he began to try by selling newspapers to help her earn enough money
to keep the wolf from the door. This Irish woman he loved after a
fashion, but always he had wished for some one sweeter, more refined,
and more understanding. Maggie, too, he liked, the eldest of the brood,
wild, harum scarum, loving. But, yet, although he was loyal to these,
there was always a dim longing in his heart, that in the night almost
amounted to pain. And now it was satisfied. This picture of a sweet,
charming lady with her kind loving eyes satisfied his longing. The
eyes seemed to look into his with special understanding. Forgetful ot'
ry ... vu:-
time, Creggy sat in front of the picture. Soon, too soon it seemed to
him. the guard came up to him and said, though in an almost apologet-
ical tone of voice, "Sorry, Sonny, butgwe have to close now."
Having given a last backward look at the painting, Greggy gaxe
a deep sigh and moved reluctantly out of the room, the "Gracious
Lady's eyes still smiling as if to bid him farewell. As he was leaving
the entrance, a tall, melancholic looking gentleman intercepted him.
Greggy stopped, frightenedg but the look in the man's Hne, tired
eyes reassured him.
"lYell, laddie," the man said' kindlyg "how did you like tl1e pic-
Greggy drew in a long breath and his eyes shone. "She was-
The man smiled understandingly but rather sadly, "Wie were
the only ones who knew that, though, weren't we" Then to himself
rather than to Greggy, "Of all that throng of people-not one realized
-it was my masterpiece-." He shrugged his shoulders, "Oh, welll"
Greggy listened bewildered, but plucking up courage because of the
man's kindly smile he said, "Do you s'pose-I mean-can I come back
"Indeed you may," the man replied heartily: "I shan't lose sight
of you." And as with smiling fervent thanks, Greggy started to go,
the man added. "Remember I shall expect to see you."
Greggy told neither the washerwoman nor Maggie about his
Gracious Lady. Nora might feel hurt, and undoubtedly Maggie would
So the summer passed, and the fall, and now it was growing cold.
Creggy continually shivered in his thin ragged clothes. But he was
always brave and did his best-and there was always the Gracious
Lady to sympathize with him. '
One dismal day when it was sleeting, cold and slippery, Greggy
came on his daily visit, shivering blue with cold. The guard met him
with a worried face. ff,
"Can't come in, Sonny," he said: "'most all the pictures are sold
and those that aren't are goin' to be taken by their owners. No'Qne is
to be allowed in any more."
Greggy was stunned. There was a dazed look on his face. "Can't
I see her." he pleaded, "just once more P"
"Sorry, Sonny: orders, besides if you mean the one you were
looking at all the time-well that's gone!"
Gone! It was as if the knell of his own life had been rung. VVhat
should he do without her sympathy, her understanding? He turned
without speaking and began to walk down stairs. He dimly heard th.
guard calling to him. But he was past caring, now. VVhat mattered
It was rather absurd, perhaps, to love a mere painting, so. But
Greggy had' woven his very soul into it. The Gracious Lady took the
place of mother, confidant, of every one and everything he could look
up to and love-save God-and He was rather shadowy, and Greggy
feared Him a little.
Though it was little more than mid-afternoon, it was growing
dusk and bitterly cold. The wind bringing the sleet chilled Greggy to
the marrow. Yet he was almost unaware of it. Blindly he began to
cross the street, where the traffic was quite thick and rapid. Vaguely
he was aware of voices calling to him, something huge was coming
rapidly toward him-then he was knocked down-and he lost con-
Many hours later he opened his eyes in a hospital. There was a,
faint unfamiliar smell of disinfectants in the room. He noticed, too, a
strange woman in the snowy, white uniform of a nurse. Slowly his
memory came to him and with it the remembrance of his lost Gracious
Lady which took hold of him with a, sickening feeling that brought
him down, down, until again he fell, unconscious.
The next thing he knew, fit seemed ages afterwards, he still felt
too tired to open his eyesj was the pleasant feeling of being tucked in.
Then a man's voice was heard far off, disconnetced. "It is very doubt-
ful whether he will live or die. Slow starvation and insufficient cloth-
ing for this freezing weather have undermined his constitution. Besides
I can't make it out. There seems to be something on his mind."
A woman's voice took up the conversation, "I know," it said: "it's
a woman. He calls her 'My Gracious Lady."' Again that sickening
feeling came over Greggy and again he became unconscious.
Later the doctor went out of the room, down to his office, his
forehead wrinkled with thought. In his office a tall, slightly stooped,
melancholic looking man jumped up impatiently. "How do you do?"
said the man rapidly.
The doctor looked up scowling. Then having recovered, he en-
deavored to smile. "Oh, how do you do?" he said politely. He re-
membered the man, now, a famous artist who had had some sort of an
exhibition which his wife had forced him to attend, several months
"I've been waiting ages," the artist smiled whimsically. "I came
to see whether you had a little boy here-one who was run over by an
automobile ?" f
"Do you mean one about ten years old with yellow hair and blue
r f X Q-
"Yes, yes: I would have come days ago but I never connected
the accident with the disappearance of the little boy until today.
There was so much to do closing up the exhibition that we,-my wife
and I-quite lost sight of him, Poor chap, I just happened to be read-
ing the paper today-that article in which they were trying to identify
him-how he continually muttered about a Gracious Lady.-"
"You're not his father?" interrupted the doctor hastily.
No, no-he's only a little newspaper waif I was greatly interested
in. He-" with a sorry laugh, "was the only one who discovered the
picture in my exhibition which I considered my masterpiece-"
"Picture!" frowned the doctor.
"VVhy yes, the one he called- the Gracious Lady."
"Great Scott! The Gracious Lady-a picture- .... Poor Kid!"
"Yes, it is a portrait of my wife."
Portrait?" the doctor questioned, startled by a sudden thought.
VVhy yes." h
"A real portrait-not an-er-idealized creation P"
Sir!" said the artist with offended dignity, "You forget the orig-
inal is my wife."
"No, No," the doctor replied impatientlyg "I mean to say--the boy
is very low. I don't think he can live-and yet-it's a curious case.
He doesn't seem to care to live, All he cares for is his Gracious Lady
-and she, it appears from his delirium-is lost."
"The poor little chap. I suppose the guard refused him admittance
-I forgot him entirely-poor laddief'
"So I thought," continued the doctorg "I wondered if-he might
possibly regain his Gracious Lady-"
"By Jove!" the artist broke in excitedlyg "Valory, my wife, could
come down-she'd do it-gladly-"
"I don't know-I don't know" hesitated the doctorg then-"W'ell,
there's no harm in tryingg and we must do something."
"Yes, indeed," answered the artist, his fine eyes shiningi "I'll
telephone her to put that little dark gown on-and I'll go up after
her in a taxi"- '
In a, remarkably short time, the artist returned with his wife.
She was plain but had glowing, dark eyes.
The doctor was looking anxious. "He is much worse," he said
rapidly: "I scarcely think there's any hope-"
"Oh, don't say that," interrupted the Gracious Lady herself-in a
sweet voice that held -real concern.
"Come on-then, we'll go up," said the doctor abruptly, "and may
The three stepped into the elevator and swiftly shot up to the
children's ward. Greggy seemed to be barely breathing. His skin
looked waxy and delicately transparent. The perspiration made damp
little curls around his forehead. He looked like a frail, wounded
The Gracious Lady tiptoed to the bed and looked at Greggy with
deep kindness and sympathy. She put her hand, the slim, little hand
that Greggy had loved upon his forehead. Greggy sighed. His
breathing became deeper, more regular.
Minutes passed. Then Greggy opened his eyes. His glance fell
immediately on the lovely face of his Gracious Lady.
A look of deep content came into his eyes. His lips smiled faintly.
Then very feebly he whispered-"I don't understand-but-can I
be in heaven P" '
The Gracious Lady smiled. "No, laddies, but you're with me."
And with that Greggy was more than content .,...
It was a glorious day in spring. The odor of the fresh rain swept
earth filled the air. On the porch of a beautiful home, set in the midst
of a spacious garden, sat Greggy and beside him sat the Gracious Lady.
"It just doesn't seem to be true," sighed Greggy with happinessg
"that you really want me to stay-with you-my Gracious Lady," he
But the Gracious Lady gazing at the shining blue eyes of Greggy,
and' the shining golden hair, fluifed like a halo by the soft breeze, and
the thin boyish figure dressed in a becoming blue sailor suit, and back
at the eyes again clear and happy-the Gracious Lady didn't think it
strange at all and smiled at Greggy, the same smile that Greggy had
seen on the painted canvas at the Art Gallery-only now it was real---
and it was for him.
LULU BARRICKLOVV, '19.
Advice to a Freshman
I was just a stupid Freshman,
And the first day got "in bad,"
By hailing a mighty Senior,
And calling him a cad.
He turned around amazedly,
Gave me a look of scorng
And next he landed such a swat,
I wished I'd ne'er been born.
Next I met a high-toned junior,
W'hose shoes were bright and newg
By accident I stepped on them,
And the stars I saw weren't few.
A Sophomore I next did meet,
Who grabbed me by the earg
And led me to a bunch of boys,
Who were standing very near.
I knew it was a put up job,
"Let's give this guy a drink l"
They took me through the basement door
And smeared my face with ink.
And now my little Freshman Friends,
When entering High this yearg
Be careful what remarks you make,
Vl'hen an upper cla,ssman's near.
If you see a mighty Senior,
A coming down the walkg
lYait 'till he's round the corner,
And then begin to talk,
If you see a high-toned Junior,
Beware of his new shoes,
just take a lesson from my tale,
And methods that I used.
lf you see a lofty Sophomore,
You'd better stop and thinkg
For I will say it is no joke,
To be all smeared with ink. i
And having this advice, I hope
You will not act the fool, p
And make the same mistakes as I
VVhen ent'ring this High School.
-JEWEL SHERMAN, '22,
INSPECTION day is certainly an exciting day, a day of apprehen-
sion, especially for a, poor unfortunate who has grease spots on his
suit. I put in two hours brushing and washing and drying spots,
alternately, on my suit at different times on the previous day and
on the morning of inspection day, but as there were two large, stub-
born grease spots that absolutely refused to come off, I finally gave
up in despair. I wished later that I hadn't despaired so soon, Then
came the shoes. I polished and polished, and brushed and brushed.
until-well, I wasn't satisfied, but I called it square and quit. Then I
was ready, except for the grease spots.
Soon the hour arrived, the order "Fall in!" was given and then.
"Prepare for inspection !"
Every time I looked at the grease spots they appeared to be
larger, so I finallyistopped looking, gritted my teeth, squared my
shoulders, and prepared for the worst, but preparing didn't do much
good, as I found out later. Oh! those grease spots! If I had rnly
spent a little more time on them! Alas, now it was too late, too late!
The officers were already coming down the front line. My mind was
relieved a little, however, by watching the fellows in the front rank.,
It was most interesting to watch how they acted while being inspected,
but soon I forgot them in my own misery, for the officers were about
to come down the rear rank, and then-Oh, those awful grease spots!
I was beginning to tremble already, but why tremble? The worst they
could do was to shoot me at sunrise, I argued. Then the moment
drew near. They had finished inspecting the front rank and were
coming down the rear- rank. tOh! those fearful grease spots! What
minutes of agony! Cold sweat stood on my brow. I tried to calm
myself by thinking it couldn't be helped now, but it was useless.
Qh! what indescribable agony! They looked carefully at my suit, saw
the grease spots, those frightful grease spots, and one of them, looking
at me with grim disapproval announced coldly, "Dirty uniform! three
demeritsf' To this they all agreed, then passed on to the next man.
Ah-h-h, it was over, over, really over, What a relief! Three demerits,
one half hour's work. but then, that wasn't so bad as being shot at
sunrise. VVell. it was over, anywayg but oh! those awful, fearful
frightful grease spots!
--RGY JACOBSON, '2Z.
The Nightingale ,
Twilight reignsg the sweet hushed calm is settling in a little dell,
Secluded from the noisy world by endless purple mansions,
Spokesmen of Nature's self-the mountains.
The sun has shed its last long radiant beam upon the wood
And passing by, transformed the leaves to trembling flakes of shim-
A little winding path with roses blooming either side
Leads to a lowly, rambling cottage. A garden
Fair with lilacs and sweet smelling roses adjoins the house, just off
While on the other side and running far in, back, an apple orchard
Its trees quite loaded with heavy-scented blossoms
-The house itself, seems longing, as' it were, to look from out the vines
VVhich tangle and combine themselves far up the walls, yea, even to
the shingled roof .
-The night is speaking inspiration-
A long and grateful sigh is heard, and then again the hush is made
But just before an open window, a man--inhuman? No-
Is sitting by a low, rude table,-and to the right of him is lying
A violin, its bow in such a slant as if it had been used quite recently,
The man is writing something as he looks beyond his window
To the lilac garden, the rose-path, and the blossoming orchard.
He sees the last long ray of dayifall in melting gold on the leaves of
And is sensitive to the odors which are carried by a gentle breeze,
past his window.
-It is the master-he composes, -he is within those spheres of
harmony, which only inspiration knows.
His heart is giving praise in written melody to Nature's "Song of
-A pause, and then a pen is dropped-the song is ended.
He looks across the landscape,-his senses feel the beautyg and then
he whispers almost huskily,
"And what shall be the title of my song?"
-A soft, melodic tone swells clear into the twilight calm, as if the
tone were sung
To tell the tale of Twilight-The master starts!
A rustle then betrays a little bird, perched on a climbing vine, before
Its blue-grey covering blending into the growing shades of twilight
That its little, gracefulibody is hard to be discerned
-A long, clear flow of melody-it 'sang as tho' it
Could not praise enough all tha,t it saw and felt-
And then the master, thrilled, did murmur-
"My song is called-'The Nightingale."' y
DORIS OLSON, '20,
The Scape Goat
FRANCIS FERDINAND sat in his private library in the summer
palace at Budapest. It was a beautiful May afternoon and the
members of the royal court were merry in spite of the trouble that
seemed inevitable, their voices in pleasant murmur, coming from the
"I shall join them," said the prince, rising with a smile.
He walked leisurely across the beautiful lawn to where the court
was assembled. His beautiful little wife sat apart from the restg her
large dark eyes looked troubled.
"Did your pet kitten die, or did some one step on your flowers,
to make you look so downcast?" her brother teasingly asked her.
Tea was servedg and as Ferdinand turned laughingly to his wife
a messenger entered, and handed him a yellow envelope.
"This is very important, sir," said he with a salute,
Ferdinand excusing himself, tore open the telgram. His face
grew pale and haggard as he read. Then without a word he turned
and left the garden.
"I must see the Emperor," he said to the guard, who after one
look at his pale, stern face led the way to the Monarch's chambers.
Silently Ferdinand handed the message to the tall old man with
cold, evil eyes who greeted him with a Satanic smile. He read it
through carefully and his eyes narrowed as he met the Archduke's
"Your wife has an aunt in Sarajevo, has she not?" he asked.
"She has," Ferdinand assented coldly.
"You will go and visit her. Do not recognize this telegram. The
Serbian Government sends this as a challenge, daring vou to come
to Bosnia. You will go and I shall have what I have wanted for a
long time,-war with the Balkans."
"Yes, I shall go." Ferdinand raised his dark head proudly. "I
shall go as on an order from my Emperor, but if this makes trouble,
causes war, you and your plotting friend, the German Kaiser, may say
to the rest of the nations, 'This is our work, Francis Ferdinand did
not go of his own will.' " With that he turned and left the room.
"He would make a better Emperor than any other man in Austria.
I dislike sacrificing him, but I must," the Emperor muttered, and
dismissed the subject for a time.
When Ferdinand's wife heard that they were to go, she raised her
tragic eyes in passionate protest, "Oh, God, if this ends in trouble.
do not let the world blame Ferdinand."
In Serajevo, Lady Brandswick sat by her fireplace. She was a
delicate white haired little old lady.
"Your niece and her husband have arrived from Budapest," a
servant announced as he stepped into the room.
The little lady's face grew haggard, but she welcomed them with
a smile. Ferdinand's laugh, at dinner that night would not have been
so merry could he have seen an automobile speeding over a long.
lonely road towards the mountains. Its six passengers were rough
looking men who seldom spoke. After several miles of extremely bad
road, they came to a small pathway over which the car could hardly
travel. They soon stopped and left the car hidden among the trees
and brush. Following a steep path up the mountain side, they came
to a large open place with a cliff sheltering it, so that it appeared
somewhat like a cove. Here' they found several men waiting for them.
One who was chief stood on a small elevation and spoke in a, low
tense voice. "You all know that Francis Ferdinand is here. The
Serbian Government sent him a telegram warning him not to come.
The Austrian Emperor keeps this telegram, so if anything happens to
Ferdinand, it will be blamed to the Serbian Government, and not to us.
Marshell, the one who draws the number thirteen will have to throw
the bomb. This is the opportunity for which you joined our bandg
now make the most of it."
The men were silent as the numbers were drawn, each dreading to
get the fatal one. The chief looked at each number, then all the men
except one and the chief disappeared.
A month later Ferdinand and his wife strolled down a pleasant
street in Serajevo on the twenty-eighth of june.
"We haye only four more days of our visit left, and I am begin-
ning to feel hopeful," said Ferdinand.
His wife had been silent and troubled, but now looked up smiling.
"I think so, too, Francis, but let us ride, I am tired."
At a signal their motor drove up and they proceeded slowly down
A man lounged lazily on a bench in a beautiful park. To all
appearances he was a common laborer enjoying a few moments of free-
dom. But as the Archduke's taxi drew near, had any one been
watching closely, he would have seen a vindictive gleam shoot into
his half closed eyes. He raised his arms above his head to straighten
his cramped muscles, then reluctantly rose and walked to the street
crossing. The Archduke's taxi drew nearerg as it came along side,
the man with a diabolic laugh and a cry of "Down with Austria!
Freedom forever!" hurled a bomb into the royal car,
XVhen the guard arrived, the car was a total wreck, Ferdinand lay
with his body twisted and cramped into an unnatural position. The
guards impulsively removed their hats, for death had claimed the
Arehduke of Austria.
The guards then turned their attention to the poor little Princess.
She lay with closed eyes, then stirred, and staring up at the officer,
who bent over her, she spoke in an even tense voice, "Take this, my
death message to your king, Say to, him that the Emperor of Austria
and the German Kaiser, are leagued together and have planned war
with the Balkans which will involve the rest of the world." She gasped.
closed her eyes and was still.
When the Emperor heard of the Archduke's death, he and the
German Kaiser were in the palace garden. He handed the telegram
to the Kaiser'with the significant remark, "Now we are ready. We
shall have the Balkan Peninsula." -
"And the rest of the world," added the Kaiser.
--AUDREY SMITH, '22.
v 1 5 --fi-Q-Jw-a,1.mv', , 5535-fFv'bQE3w,
The Close of Day
I love to see the sun rise,
just at the break of day,
To take its journey through the skies
Along the golden way.
But when its journey's end draws nigh
And day's just at its close,
A wondrous painting fills the sky
Of flowing ribbon bows.
The tinted clouds float lazily,
Above the swaying treesg
The colors mingle-d hazily,
Seem wafted by the breeze.
I love the close of day the best,
ln summer and in fall,
For with it comes the flaming west
And sinks the golden ball,
Each moment' as in joy I gaze,
I can not turn away,
But e'er its splendors I have praised,
Beyond has slipped the day.
-LILY LANG, '23.
Senior Class Report
HE task of compiling these statistics having been unceremoniously
thrust upon me, I write this with more or less reluctance tmostly
morej, realizing that I have a weighty subject to handle. Weighty?
Indeed! For the class weighs 5789 pounds, nearly three tons! And as
we are worth our weight in gold, we are worth almost three million
dollars! A dear class, certainly! A good old class! Old? Why, all
told, we have 815 years to our name! At this age, we would have been
born in 1104 A. U., just 111 years before the signing of the Magna
Carta! Tliink, what an illustrious class! What a privileged class!
There is nothing small about us, either, for if we join our heights, not
forgetting Elmer I-Iansen's and Cheryl I'enwell's, and oh! yes, Pren-
tiss Ferguson's pompadour, we should stand 243 feet 4 inches high!
A class to be looked up to, truly!
The class is unparalleled, unsurpassablel It is first in war, and
first in peace. It has cheerfully, heartily, unanimously supported thc
Red Cross, the relief drives, and other war work with both time and
money. It is proud to write on its member roll the names of Fred
Johnston, Morton Funston, Eric Olson, Laurence Edmonson and Lionel
Qtagg, all of whom enlisted in the service of our country and our flag,
VVe have been largely represented in all other school activities,
athletics, dramatics, debating. VVe will ever remain supreme in social
activities. This fact is accounted' for by our amiable relations with
the faculty. Parties. banquets are written on the pages of our history.
Picnics are impressed on our memories with question marks looming.,
behind them. Our Senior Day will never be forgotten-the day when
we decorated the campus with our emblems and painted our year on
the buildings with whitewash, at four o'clock in the morning!-the day
when we dressed ourselves as April Fools and were called fools by the
teachers-the day when we woke the sleeping Class Spirit!
Indeed! our class is virtually bubbling with vitality , . . and . . .
talent. We have proved ourselves to be on top. The leaders of the
school are found among the "Nineteeners." Our class personifies every
conceivable ability . . . musicians ,poets, lawyers, presidents, scientists,
actors, speakers, thinkers!
But ....i A las! our souls are troubled when we think of the school
next year, deprived of our capable leadership. VVe grieve with it, big
we can but pass our hand over our eyes and say, "Farewell l" VVe pass
but will not be forgotten. "XVe have crossed the Ray, but the Ucean
lies before us." May we serve the world as we have served the school.
Class Officers--l,eota Gilliland, president: Prentiss Ferguson, Sec-
retary-treasurerg Ruth Stewart, representative, executive committee.
MONTANA DELBON, '19.
mr hum' rrmmvh Ihr hug. hut
Ihr urrzm lim hrfnrr ua.
Ularuutinn Uirrvu amh lliihiir
ilirntu IH. Gillilauh
Pres. of Class, '19g Glee club. 'l9:
Pres. of Dramatics club. '19:
"Alert" staff, '19g Captain Vo. "B"
Girls' Cadets, '19.
"I am part of all l have me-t."'
Boys' Glee, '17, '18g Battalian Alli-
"We grant although he had imwlr
He was very shy in using it."
Glee, '16, '17, '18, '19g Chorus, '16, '1T:
Orchestra, '16, '17, '18, '19,
"Her acts are modest and her
"Her modest looks, the cottage might
Sweet as the primrose peeps beneath
Baseball team, '17, '18, '19, Basket-
ball team, '18, '19g Class Sec-
Treas., '19, "Alert" staff, '18g A.
S. B. Pres., '19.
Good at fight but better at play."
Glee Club, '18, '19g Staff. '19,
"A flattering painter. who made it
To draw men as they ought to be,
and not as they are."
"True as the needle to the pole
Or as the dial to the sun? '
Class reporter, '17, "Alert" staff. '17,
'18g Class Pres.. '183 Red Cross
Pres., '18, '19g Debating team, '18,
Captain Tennis Club, '19g Senior
Representative to Executive Com-
mittee, 'l9g Editor of "Alert," 'ltbg
Captain Co. "A" Girls' Cadets, 'l9:
Sec.-Treas. Dramatic Club, '19,
"Strong of willg to strive, tn se-ek,
to find, and not to yield."
Glee Club, '19g "Alert" staff. '19g
Debating Club, '18.
"A form more fair. a face more sweet
Ne'e1' has it been my lot to meet."
tllee Club. '19, Dramatic Club, 'ltlg
"Alert" staff. '19.
"Your worth is very dear in my
lilmrr illll. Baumann
Glee, '16, '17, '19g Class Pres., '17:
Debating Club, '1Sg Battalion quart-
ermaster, '19g Business manager,
"As I have ever found thee honest.
Glee Club, '19g Class Treas., '1Tg
"The smile that blest one love-r's
Has broken many more."
Chorus, '16, '17, '18, '19g Glee. '16.
'17, '18, '19.
"Hang sorrow! Care would kill a
Therefore let us be merry?
Boys' Glee. '17, '18, '19g Chorus, '1T.
'18g Double quartett, '19g Staff, '19,
"How could thy notes flow in such
a crystal stream!"
"To act tomorrow what she learns
Glee Club. '16, '17, '18g Dramatic
Club, '17, '19g Chorus. '17, '18,
Ullnthinking, idle. wild and young.
She laughed and talked and danced
"If we were things born not to shed
I know not how thy joy we ever
should vome ll01ll'."
Glen, 'lT. '18, '19g Play east, 'IRQ
"Alert" staff, '19.
"Who chooseth me. shall give and
hazard all he hath."
Class Treas. '16g Vice Pres. 'IRQ
Staff, '1Sg Sec. A. S. B.. '193 Sec:
'19g 2nd Lieut. Co. "A" Girls
"Oh, how l dnted on her smile."
"Alert" staff. '16, '19g lst Lieut. Cu,
"A" Boys' Cadets: Play vast, '181
Glee. '18, '19.
"Only one fair face for him."
Glee Club, '16, '17, '18, 'lllg Cilnrlts
"The lady doth prfxtewt too much
Dramatic Club, 'I8g Girls' Glee,
"She's pretty to walk with
And witty to talk with
And pleasant, too. to think on."
Chbrus. '1Tg Glee, '18, '19.
"Blessed with plain reason and with
common sense! '
Glee Club, '16, '17, '19g Class Sec.,
'16, '173 Play cast, '1Tg Basketball
team. '16, '17, '18g Alert, staff. 'lT.
"She who was over fair and never
llzul tongue ul will, but never loncI.'
"To follow knowledge like il sinking
"Alert" Staff, '19g 2nd Lieut. Co. "A"
Boys' Cadetg Glee Club. 'l9.
"On their own merits. modest men
Basketball team. '16, 'lT, '1R.
"As quiet as a nun.
Breathless with adoration."
Debating Club. Tennis, '19.
"Of her bright face. one glance will
A picture of the brain."
"She was good as she was fair.
None on earth above her
As pure in thought as angels areg
To know her is to love her."
Sec. Class ,'17, '18g Glee '17, '18:
High school reporter, '19.
"She was wont to speak plain and
to the purpose."
Glee Club. 'l8g Dramatics Club. 'ISL
"She treats her friends as they treat
Play Cast, '18g Major Cadets, 'I9:
2nd team Basketball. '18g Class
Treas. '18g "Alert" staff. '1Sg Treas.
of A. S. B., '19g Member of Exevu-
tive Committee, '19.
"He thought as a sage but he ft-lt
as a, man."
"Her voice is ever soft and gentle
Antl low: an exvellent thing in
Debating Club. '18g Glee Club. '19.
"I could put up with anything."
illlargarrt Nrill -
Girls' Glee Club, '19g Basketball team,
'19g Orchestra, '19.
"Serene will be your days and bright
And happy will your nature be,'
For love is an unerring light,
And joy its own ser-urily."
"Her open eyes desire the truth
The wisdom ot' an age and years in
Studious and ambitious."
Beauties can throw nn spell o'er
Queen rose of a rnsehud garden of'
Glee Club, '16, '17, '18, '19,
"Thou sayest such an indisputable
thing, in such a solemn way."
Glee, '16, '17, '18, '19, "Alert" Staff.
'19g Dramatics Club, '18g Red
Cross Representative, '19.
"I love not to be crossed."
"Patient of toil, serene amidst alarm:
Inflexible in faith, invincible in
Class History .
Sept. 13, 1915-Our first day in Turlock High. What a sight it
must have been to see ninety-three freshies wandering forlornly about
the campus in search of cradle and bottle.
Sept. 21-Organized into the baby class called Freshman.
Sept. 24.--Vtfere tendered a lively reception in gym by upper
classmen, also a delicious repast of candy, cigarettes, bread and milk.
VVe all tame dressed in hard time costumes. Paul B. Taylor sang the
solo for the evening,
Sept. 29.-Chose as our class colors green and white, and class
flower, white carnation.
Oct. 13.-Mercy! what a "duckin'." Almost wished we lived on the
Desert Sahara instead of beautiful Turlock at this critical time.
Oct. 29.-Our first debut into society. The refreshments at this
important function were beyond comparison, especially the punch,
which was so sufficiently diluted with water as to agree even with
our weak constitutions. '
Nov. 29.-W'on a class pennant, due to our marvelous ability at
selling tags. '
May 6.-Held a picnic in unison with our brethren, the sophomores
at Merced river.
june 12.-Exams. "Nuff said." Silence speaks better than words.
Sept. ll, 1916.-Have now ascended a step higher on the ladder to
fame, and have achieved the great distinction of being called "Suffer-
Sept. 13, 1916.-Freshies, refreshed.
Nov. 15.-Miss Coleman delivers a thesis on Dred Scott decision,
not "Durd" Scott. It was greatly appreciated by students not having
jan.-Curley swipes freshies' ice cream. Boo! hoo! Now we can'f
have any party till all is settled. '
Dec.-Boys given reception at home of Montana Delbon. They
reported a good time and good eats.
Boys give girls a return reception at Unity Hall, Miss Coleman's
anxiety for fear of her flock being lost in the large reception room was
proved needless next Monday morning when she found none of her
sheep missing at roll call.
ive had a daylight hayride down to Livingston bridge, but through
no fault or mismanagement of Miss Coleman's it proved to be a moon-
light hayride home. Mr. Porter nearly caused the death of Fred johns-
ton's team to get home at a reasonable hour. The second wagon was
we H rss H -. ,sw ' ri
accidently QFJ lost and came in at 12:30 p. m. Miss Coleman started
jolly time at Leota's. Oodles of ice cream, cake, and rides. Hit the
Exams. Ugh! Teachers ain't got no sense a tall. '
1917.-A third step further up on our climb. VVe feel quite dizzy
now for we have entered the sacred realm of juniors. XVatch the
freshies get ducked.
Picnic at Livingston bridge. Fine eats, especially the coffee, made
from boiling water and coffee, and flavored with pollywogs,
Effie suddenly discovers she has no way of getting home. Fred
Johnston solves problem with his Overland.
Boys were entertained at home of Cheryl Penwell. Scarcity of
boys, but dearth of girls. Result the boys were as thorns amongst
Tendered a reception to Seniors. Had a ripping time and then
struck out for Home Sweet Home.
Exams. Teachers are becoming expert at inventing these instru-
ments of torture. . r
1918.--joy! At last we have reached the zenith of our climb.
Our heads are so high above the clouds we notice not the inferior
creatures below us.
Held a pleasant reception for Fred Johnston at Ratzell home.
Girls give boys a banquet in physics laboratory. The banquet was
such as to make up for homely surroundings.
April 1.-Threw our dignity to the four winds of the earth and
came to school garbed in a manner befitting fools, Had a grand
"rumpus" with the juniors, but came out with flying colors, sailing
our banner to the breeze despite the spirited protests of the afore-
mentioned tribe. Shocked some of our worthy teachers and broke all
precedent, but it couldn't be helped because, 'iNecessity knows no law."
june 15.-Baccalaureate services were held, conducted by the Rev.
June 18.-Class Day. "
june 20.-Commencement. Alas! We are pushed out into the
cruel. cruel world, there to attend another school designated by the
name, the "School of Hard Knocks."
W itlr a Prelude and One-Act Fantasie I
Fool enters from behind curtain, advances to center of stage, and
gives a grotesque bow.
. Ye separate parts of society,
Greetings-Ho-I've a word to impart
Before the curtains draw a part.
Tho' only a fool, I needs must pass,
To deliver the prelude for the Senior Class.
Life is serious, but making a will,
The seniors have found is more serious still.
What with the grim formality
Of calling a lawyer-and paying a fee
Besides, they find it somewhat a bore,
To do what others have done beforeg
And so they've called some gypsies in,
With a caldron and fire and that sort of thing,
I And tho' their will is not legal,-quite-
It willnot be commonplace, dry nor trite,
And tho' lacking in logic, law or right
A pretty folly you'll see tonight.
Tho' but a fool, dear friends, to you
I needs must bid a fond adieu. I
f V ONE ACT FANTASIE
F Gypsies' tent in back ground in wooded forest. A huge caldron
hung over fire in foreground. Floor strewn with pine needles. Une
gypsy' tending fire, one sitting crosslegged smoking a pipe and a third
leaning indolently against- the tent. Dreamy silence on stage with
orchestra playing soft gypsy airs, ' V
Enter four of the seniors of the class of 1929.
First Gypsy: "Hal my caldron tells the truth. VVell, my pretty
young ladies and gentlemen, what do you want of old Fantine ?"
First Senior: "VVe hear that you have a' magic caldron that will
do anything you ask of it, and we've come to try its power."
Gypsy: "Indeed, and you have heard truly, my pretty lass. My
caldron knows both past and future."
Second Senior: "Ah, then may we ask it something?" lexcited
whispering and muffled laughterl.
Gypsy lyslylylz "No, no, only I understand it, and even l cannot
comprehend it unless my palm is lirst crossed with silver."
Second Senior: "Uh, we expected that.. lfaint contemptl. "XX'ell.
here's your dollar." lturning to the girlsj. "Now what shall we
First Girl llaughingl: "I have it. I,et's ask the old caldron what
the will of the class of 14.719 of Turlock High School was."
Second Girl tlzuigliingl: "l'll bet even a magic caldron isn't equal
Gypsy Lgrimlyl: "XYe'll see. my clever young ladies: we'll see."
llinots the dollar in an old handkerchicf, Stirs the fire-then sways
hack and forth over the caldron. Smoke rises from within. Soft
music. Slight pause-and then the gypsy, making a sudden gutteral
sound, draws from the caldron a tightly rolled scroll, which she
Gypsy Qwith surpriselz "Wlly-wliy-tlierc are pictures."
Seniors edge up cautiously to look. Various exclamations.
Gypsy tsharplyl: "Stand hack-give me room. Come not near
. l '
Gypsy reads will in a clear distinct voice.
"XYe. the Senior Class of the Turlock High School, County of
Stanislaus, State of California, do hereby signify that we have, at a
former date, willed all our worldly goods, chattels, and passessions tu
the Belgians, and are forced to admit, confess and declare that we have
nothing left to will or bequeath to our needy, long-suffering under
Short awed silence. tThe second gypsy still indolently leaning
against tent, and third, peacefully smokmgz.
First Boyf clears his throatj: "NVell, I guess the j,1ke's on us."
First Girl Qexcitedlyj: "Yes, and it was all true, too. My sister
was a senior in the '19 class and she's told me all about it."
Gypsy Qin a satisfied monotonej: "My caldron tells the truth."
Second Girl: "It's awfully queer. Of course, I don't believe in
Second Boy: "NYell, any Way it was well worth that dollar and
here's another for you." Qthrows a dollar to Gypsy who catches itjl
Gypsy fin gutteral monotonej: "My caldron tells the truth.
qMutters indistinctlyj. f
fSoft Gypsy strains-dreamy silence on stage-1-first gypsy tendi-rf
Ere, second leaning indolently against the tent and the third sittinf'
cross-legged peacefully smoking a pipej.
LULU J. BARRICKLONV, 'l'P. '
PAULINE RATZELL, '19.
Whoas Who in 1939?
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'I'ht- tlrcztinlikc' past fltrzlts iflly thru my mimi.
l.-im fzmtics vague, st1':1i1g'cIy dcsignctl,
Hut mic sccnc is etched tlistiiict. against thc gitrivlll,
.X picttirt- of at slizthhy, wtwii, liigli-tciliiigctl 1'-wittd
Ut' laughing fnccs-fyct szitlclciictl hy thu tht-tight
OI' parting m-ztrfv-tlic ruin 'l'imc has wrt-t1g'lit!
.X lztss was IIICTC-f-lIllC Iztlwltiiw' Huy'
, ,. 5. 5 I.
Hut chzisteiletl :mtl suhtluctl, that fzltcful tl:iy--
XX'hw :iskctl that they might in sumo futurc time
Meet mice again tin l'75fM--
The plzm tlclightctl. thc pi'ujct't was tliscusst-fi.
Luis! tm the shwultlcrs arf imc Intl in suit-nm trust
That hc Siltlllili tell thcm when lu woot :mtl wlit-l'c.
And sec that :ill ui them wcrc there. . . . . .
The scene is still distinct, 'tis 1929
Yet-just ten years-just half the time
Allotted has run its fated course.
Welve felt but half Life's Current's force,
But in my weariness, I can not brook
Delay-the future's but a book-
A crystal clear, to me-I'll call-
I'll dare the fury of the fates and all,
And view its glories in my Crystal Ball.
The butler steps outside of the curtain and states
"The Scenes in the Crystal Ball."
Mr. Carpenter's home, Susanville, Calif., 1939. Mr, Carpenter is
seen seated by desk with two children on his lap. He is wheeling a
third child in a baby carriage with his foot. Nearby are three other
children sitting on the floor playing with blocks and eating bread
and jam. fAll girlsj.
The children on the floor commence to fight over the playthings.
They all send up howls at varying pitches. Father attempts to medi-
ate, but succeeds merely in making a bad matter worse, for, as soon
as he moves, the children in his lap begin -to cry.
Dad Qtemper slightly ruifledj: "If you children don't behave, I'll
give you a good whipping."
Mary ta bright little lassj: "NVell, pa, I wish you would, for you
have never given us a licking that we could call good yet."
Dad: "Mary, I'm busy now, but as soon as I can get time, I
mean to give you a flogging."
Mary: "Don't hurry yourself, Pa, I can wait."
The children in Mr. C's lap again claim his attention, and presently
a semi-silence ensues, i11 which he tells us that he'd give a kingdom
to find a letter that he had received a month ago frome Prentiss Fergu-
son. He searches through his desk for it while the children play havoc
with some papers which they had succeeded in taking from his desk.
A vase of flowers is upset, the children recommence to cry, and a gen-
eral cyclone follows.
Dad succeeds in finding the letter in the waste basket and reads:
Mr. Carpenter, p
Pres. General Information Bureau of Susanville,
The designated time for the reunion of the Class of 1919
has arrived and in accordance with the obligation placed upon
me of finding a suitable place for it, I write to request that
you and your wife allow us to assemble at your home. I
believe it is the most central location that I could select,
and as we were all interested in Susanville and the Indian
Pow NVows tespecially during class periodsj, I feel that all the
members of the Class will favor my choice.
If you have any objections to my plan, please write me at
once so that I may hear not later than Monday of next week.
lf l do not hear from you, we will assemble at your home four
weeks hence, june 24, 1939.
Gen. Del., Delhi, Cal.
Dad: "Thunderationl That reunion takes place tonight. Strange
that I had forgotten about it. Fortunate that I wrote to him that it
was impossible for us to have the celebration here. What would I
have done .... with my wife at the International Baby Bureau all
clay? Goodnight! ..... But fseriouslyj ..... Where is the party
to be held? Strange I have received no notice. I will make a note of
it and ask my wife if she received it." tHe draws a paper out of his
pocket which proves to be a sealed envelope addressed to Mr. Prentiss
Ferguson, Delhi. Call ,... "Scandinavia !" QKnocks books off desk in
wild fashion, stamps up and down roomy .... "I forgot to mail it! and
they'll be here tonight!" tCollapses in chair. Children cry. Gne of
them falls to floorj.
Kitty runs to Dad and screams: "Daddy, jenny's sick!"
Mr. C. rushes to her, places her on couch, telephones to Dr. Gilli-
land. The physician arrives and pronounces the child to have a mild
case of contagious disease Ortobioristralitis.
Dr. Leota Gilliland: "I got a notice last week from Mr. Ferguson
stating that the old Class of 1919 is to meet at your home tonight. I
fear that it is not advisable. Can you not wire Mr. Ferguson to change
the place? He can let them all know by wireless in less than ten
Mr. C. :"Say! Leota, that's the best medical advice I've ever re-
ceived from you. XX'here shall I advise Perkins that we meet?"
Dr.: "XVhy not Geneva. Switzerland, at the home of Mr. and Mrs.
Frank Dwyer, fifth president of the League of Nations?"
Mr. C.: "Finel Oh! by the way, Doe, will you ride with my wife
and me in our aeroplane ?" h
Doc. tpicking up her medical case, gloves, etc.j: "Thanks, What
'time will you leave?"
Mr, C.: ftaking Out his watchjz "I can't conceive what's the mats
ter with my watch. It must want cleaning."
Mary tinterruptingj: "No, pa, I know it doesn't want cleaning
cause Kitty and I washed it in the basin ever so long this morning'
QDoctor laughs, Mr. C. groansj.
Mr. C.: "VVell, I think seven is early enough. VYe'll get there in
an hour or so. I think I shall go by way of Africa. I sent my best
suit down there to be pressed day before yesterday."
Doc.: "All right. Seven .,.. Good-bye." QExitj.
Home of President of League of Nations, Geneva. Mrs. Della
Brooks Dwyer is seen seated in room reading.
Della: "I hope Frank doesn't forget to iind some clothes for that
poor man who came here yesterday. What a sight he was! .....
Pitiful! and the strangest of it all ..,.. I seem to know him. The
color of his socks seems familiar to me. I told him to call today and
perhaps I should have something for him." fBell, Butler enters with a
messenger boy carrying a suitcase who says that President Dwyer
sent it homej. QExeuntj. 4 Q
' Della fopens suit case and holds out clothesj. "These outrageous
clothes must be the ones he means for me to give away. He can't
possibly wear them." QShe places them back. Bell. Enter Butler
saying that a hobo is outside who claims to have an appointment with
her. Della tells him to show him in. A rather familiar looking person
appears. Della tells him to take the suitcase. Exeunt severallyjg . . .
"So the reunion is to be here! How surprised I was to receive a
wireless from Mr. Carpenter! Well, it is better so, I believe. Frank
is too busy to leave h'ome even for a couple of hours ..... Now, he
can be with us for a while at least. I must tell the cook to take special
pains to serve everything well this evening,"
Enter Mr. Dwyer.
Mr. D. Qgreeting his wifej: "Did you get the suitcase I sent
Della: "Yes, it arrived just in time for me to give it to the hobo."
Mr. D. Qvisibly agitatedj: "Horrors! XVhat have you done,
woman? Given that suitcasse to him! VVl1y, that belongs to Mr. Elmer
Hansen, who has just arrived for the reunion. I asked him to stay
with us, and sent the suitcase ahead to relieve him of it. VVhat shall
we do?" fBellj. "H-ere he is now."
fButler shows Mr. Hansen in, who is ridiculously attired in
scientific apparel. Situation seems strainedj. Greetings, Mr. Dwyer
takes Mr. Hansen with him to his library, and Della arranges flowers
fBell. Butler announces Miss Grace Bigelow, who enters very
'FF 'Q-uHF?a'-"'rfF'.,Ti. 'ff ' 5
bookishly dressed. She carries several books under armj. Greetings.
Grace Bigelow: "XVell, Mrs. Dwyer, I'm a trifle early for the
party, but I came early for a purpose. You see I represent the l.
SKINUM 8 CHEATUM PUBLISHING COMPAN Y. I am in-
troducing their latest production, 'The Life of the Famous Director
of the VVorld's Garbage Department, MISS GONDRING.' I am sure
you and President Dwyer will be interested in your old class adviser.
The special feature of the book is its 'neat binding, Now, just examine
it. The book is very good looking. The paper is of the finest quality.
Genuine leather, too! But Madam! think of the opportunity of having
the whole of the Life of the greatest ,.... " tBell ringsj.
Enter Ruth Olson, flashily dressed, brilliant complexion, elaborate
R. O.: "Pardon me, Mrs. Dwyer, for coming so early, but as I can
not stay very long, and as I have some things with me which I am
sure you cannot do without, I thought it was only fair that I should
come before the others arrived, and show you my wares. I have a
rare bargain to offer you in cosmetics, Now, this lip rouge, you ca,n't
imagine how a little of it improves one's looks. No one would think
nf not using this good cold cream, and vanishing cream. Sets bottle
of each article named on tablej. I have a full line of face powder, rice
powder, talcum powder, rouges, eye-brow pencils, bandoline, brillian-
tine, perfumes, toilet water, sachet-bags ..... fBellj.
Enter Neva Stinson, patchily clad, carrying some umbrellas under
her arm and a box of scissors in her hand. Greetings.
Miss Neva: 'Madaml haven't you some scissors I could grind, or
some umbrellas I could mend? I must work for my fare home. You
see I do beautiful work." Qdemonstratesj Qthe other agents proceed to
try to sell their wares to each other, with questionable success.j fBellj.'
Enter Pauline Ratzell, carrying a small box, '
P. R.: "XVhy, hello! girls! It surely does seem good to see 'Nine-
teeners' again. But I did think that I'd be the First one here." XVhere
are your husbands F" QThe ladies look at Dellaj.
Della: "President Dwyer is with Mr. Hansen in his library.
They'll be in soon." '
P. R.: "I am especially interested in men, nowadays.. I am saving
them untold misery, ladies. I'm awfully' glad Mr. Kyle explained
Physics so well. I am grateful also to Mr. Fassett for what I know
of Chemistry, XVith my knowledge of these two subjects, I have
been able to invent a specific for most of man's anguish. fOpens box
and produces a collar button with a cord attachmentj. "Ladies! Be-
hold the Non-losable Collar Buttonl"'fBellj. V
Enter Ruth Hedman. I
R. H.: "Back with the old class again! But don't you notice
any difference in me?"
P. R.: "You're taller." Y
R. O.: "Your hair is wavierf' QRuth shakes her head to all thisj.
G. B. Qstands up and observes more closelyj: "Your freckles are
all gone !"
R, H.: "Right you are! I invented the cream myself .... This
wonderful Freckle Cream! If you should care for the prescription I
would gladly ..... CBellj.
Enter Margaret Neil dressed as a washer woman, hair in hard
knot on top of head, carrying a rubbing board. Girls surround her and
try to sell her their articles.
M. N.: "No! No! I want nothing, I tell you. No! My husband
never wears collar buttons, I don't object to my freckles, I never use
cosmetics, and how could I ever forget Miss Gondringf' QThey all sit
down and talk. Bellsj.
Enter Alice Mittell and Ruth Benson, dressed very neatly and busi-
Both: "Good evening, ladies."
A. M.: "I have stepped in merely for a short time. I must return
in time to print tomorrow's paper. You know, I suppose, that I am
Chief Printer of the San Francisco Examiner. I thought I should like
to print an article on this reunion. By the way, you remember Ruth
Benson ..... She is now Senator from Lower California.
R. B.: "Yes, indeed. It's a wonderful country, too, Growing?
XVell, I guess! A friend of mine fell asleep in an empty lot one night
and when he awoke the next morning, he found himself lying in a
cellar! with a live story building above him!" fl-Exclamations. Bellj.
Enter Edith johnson, Professor of Latin in University of Cali-
E. J.: "Goodibus evenum. I am so gladibus that I couldibus be
withibus you once moribusf'
P. R.: "What language may that be F"
G,IB.: "0utlandish, whatever it is!"
E. J.: "NVhy, don'torum yousorum knowibus that Iorum have
madibus a practicalitibus of the deadibus Latinorum of Misteribus
Martinorum? I amibus teachingarum it at the Universitybus. It
willi be the universalli languarum afterae two yearibusesf' CBeIlJ.
Enter Dorothy Alquist. carrying a dog.
All: "Oh! Tell us about yourself. Is it still D. A. A.?"
D. A.: Oh, if it only were! lfVell, I might as well tell you myself.
There may be two sides to the question, but I doubt it. It's this way:
Fred is a minister, you know, and like several old fashioned preachers.
he persists in keeping his handkerchief in his back pocket in his long
coat, I think the habit is outrageously heathenish .... he doesn't . . .
The result is, we can not agree. Qlf any of you have had sense enough
to keep out of matrimony, continue to do so. I speak from experience,
for I am marooned on the Desert Isle of Divorce,while the dark waters
of the Sea of Matrimony fairly engulf me. I say! The more I see of
a man, the more I like dogs." Pats the dog. Bellj.
Enter Viola johnson, cat on left arm, basket of small kittens on
right arm, leading several cats by ribbons. Viola introduces all her
cats by name to the company.
V. j.: "VVhy, l1aven't the men arrived yet? None of them P"
D. A.: "Did you ever see a man on time? A 1919 boy? Never
heard of it I"
Enter President Dwyer and Elmer Hansen. Girls surround them.
. . Congratulations, etc.
G. B.: "XVhat is Mr. Hansen doing, now? Not putting out Alerts,
is he F"
E. H.: Oh! no, I am a scientist. I have after careful research and
study, discovered a method of extracting milk from dill pickles. QGirls
attempt to appear interested. Continue to demonstrate their wares.
Enter Eva McVey.
E. H.: "VVell, if here isn't the world famous novelist Madam
R, O.: "VVhy, itis Eva McVey!"
E. H.: "Eva McYey! Consternation! I should never have guessed
it. I've read several of your novels, but I confess I need a dictionary
every time I do. Remarkable!" fBellj.
Enter Florence Niman and Iola Balder.
I. B. tNoticing cats and dogs before she sees the peoplejz
"Horrors! People! how can you endure to have those creatures around
with all those fleas? Don't you know that they cause indigestion?
Now, just let me take a few minutes to explain my work. I have
invented a most wonderful, new method of killing fleas on animals.
It never fails. All the leading Dog Pounds use it."
F. N.: "Indeed, it is most remarkable,"
All: "VVell, what is it?"
Iola: "Well, first you must 'soak the dog or cat, whichever it may
be, in a concentrated solution of kerosene for five minutes. The next
thing to do is to set him on fire. l guarantee the effect to be instan-
taneous. You get your money back if it fails."
F. N.: "Now, here I have with me a sample of my most remarkable
work. I have compiled a new dictionary. I take my oath that it is
original. The words I have in mine are found in no respectable dic-
tionary. Indeed. you can not be without it. Address your subscrip-
tions to Mrs. I, XV. XV. Faucet. Keyes. California.
N1 I Y fc: ag
Enter Violet Olson and'Albin Larson, farmers.
E. H.: "You are prosperous looking people! Beans, tomatoes, cab-
bage, squash, farmers, farmers, yes, by gosh !"
P. R.: "VVell, Violet, this isn't what I should have predicted
V. O.: "The unexpected always happens."
"I neveriknew what love could do
Till.I- saw5Alfbi'n and Vi."
E. MCM.: "HelIo! Albin!"
A. L.: NVhy, Eva!"
G. B.: "Are you aware, Mr. Larson, that- you are speaking to
Madam Roselli the famous authoress ?"
AML.: "Huh! Are you the one who writes that high fangled
stuff?" V' V '
E. MCV.: Qindignantjz "I am."
A. L.: "Then many hours of sleep do I owe to you. Every after-
noon, when I return from my farm work, very tired, I have merely to
pick up one of your books and I am' asleep immediately. NVonderful!"
Enter Robert Quigley, rakishly dressed, carrying a suitcase.
A R. Q.: "XVell, folks, this is indeed a long sought for opportunity.
. . . . It has never been my fortune to be able to get a group together
to which I could demonstrate my wares. It seems that people are
unusually busy on the days when I come around. But be that as it
may ..... I must say this is fruitful soil for my work ,... Gaze on
the outlandishly, motley styles which are displayed in this room alone.
It's a crime! Indeed, it is time some one was instigating reforms in
women's clothes. Now, do let me show you some of my styles. They
will meet with your approval, I know." tHe shows several strange
looking gowns, causing general laughter. He becomes angry, packs
up his things and refuses to come from behind his shell fglassesj.
I A. L.: "Why, there's Alice Mittel!! What can you be doing?
Oh! yes, I remember-you publish the San Francisco Examiner."
A. M.: "No, I don't publish it, I merely print it."
A.- L.: "Well, now, what, pray, is the difference?"
A. M.: "Well, er-er, er-to illustrate-hyou may print a kiss 01:
my cheek, but don't publish it."
All: "Oh! Alice! VVhat about Violet? etc., etc."
fBel1J. Enter Effie Convers. Greetings. '
E. C.: "Well, folks. itis indeed a fortune to meet one's old school
friends again. Now, I feel that you will allow me to speak a few min-
utes on the most vital question of the day: 'The Insufferable Men's
Stiff Collars? " ' , -
P. R.: "lVhy, Miss Convers, the collars are all right. It's only the
collar buttons which are objectionable. Now, examine my new method
of attaching them. Allow me to demonstrate onyou Mr. Quigley.
Now, you see, they are truly non-losablef'
E. C.f indignantj: "Collar Buttons! YVoman! They are a thing
of the past. Men shall discontinue to wear collars after they once
hear me. Do give me an opportunity to speak. Silence!" fGenera1
Enter Dorothy Clayton, aviator, and Lucile Lowe, nun. QSurprised
R. B.: "Dorothy, you seem-to have high aspirations."
D. C.: "Indeed?"
R. H.: "But who is the nun?" A
D. C.: "Oh! don't you know her? She is Lucile Lowe. who has
sacrificed her life for humanity, because Wells Hively became so
infatuated in his music that he neglected her. VVas it not unseltish of
her to take that step? I was bringing the mail from U. S. A. to Frante,
and as soon as I arrived, I met her. NVe decided to come down
together in my aeroplane for a short time, QBellj. ' '
Enter Edith Bigelow, chewing gum at an outrageous rate.
G. B.: "Edith!" ' -
E. B.: "Grace!" '
G. B.: "It's ten years since I saw you and how you have changed!"
t B. "VVell, Miss Bigelow, pray tell us how you have spent
the time since we last saw you."
E. B.: "Brethren, I have given my life to the cause of saving
the people from a gum chewing grave. Oh! the horrible scenes, the
soul stirring scenes I have witnessed, as a result of this terrible sin.
People! Cast away the gum. Do not chew, I implore!" QBellj.
Enter Mr. and Mrs. Carpenter QMiss Markj and Dr. Gilliland.
Exclamations. Various remarks.
Bob. :"Gh, Clarence, what do I know about you P" Qlaughsj.
Mr, C. Qin a hen-peeked manner, whispersyz "Shut up Bob! It's
had enough as it is! IDOl1,t make it any harder for me."
Mrs. C. Qjerking him around by the coat collarj: "XVhat's that
you say? What's that you say!"
Mr. C, Qknees shakingj: "N-n-othing, my dear."
Mrs. C.: "No more of your nonsense tonight, sir! I'll send you
home to the children where you belong."
All express sympathy.
A. M.: "Well, Leota, so you're practicing medicine?"
L. G.: "I surely am. Nothing like it!"
A. L.: "Do you ever cure anyone?" QBellj.
Butler announces Mrs. Ferguson. '
All: "I wonder who she is, Who can it be?" etc.
Enter Hilda VVideberg. QRemarkab1e remarksj., '
II. VV.: "Has Mr. Iierguson arrived? I should like to see him.
It is five years since he deserted me. I have had to support myself
ever since we were married!" -tSympathy expressed. Bellj.
Enter Rev. bred johnson, who looks searchingly for a certain
young lady. She attempts to evade hime.
E. B.: "I have heard you speak once!"
F. fVe1'y interestedj: "Indeed P'
E. B.: "One passage I liked very much in your sermon."
F. J.: "I am rejoiced to hear you say so. XVhich was it pray P"
E. B.: "Wliy, sir, the passage from the pulpit to the vestry."
lqlfred falls through the floor. Bellj.
Enter Cheryl Penwell.
ll. A.: f'Wl1y, Cheryl! Do tell us what sphere your life work
C. l:'.: "lfVell-I'n1 director of the Matrimonial Bureau of Cali-
H. WV.: "Yes, and to you. I am indebted for my present misery."
C. P.: NVhy, I'm sorry if you are not satisfied. But complain
directly to the Bureau, and I'1l be glad to find something else for you.
1'ni very successful ...., and I ..... guess .... you know why!"
QQBellj. Enter judge Daisy Turner and Suffragette Pearl Larson.
Pearl, without greeting anyone, attac ks the men in the company with
her umbrella, demanding that they vote for world suffrage for women.
Daisy goes to agents and inquiries if they have been granted licenses.
A familiar whistle is heard.
Bob Quigley straightens up, perceptible ..... "VVhatl"
Butler enters, saying,tl1at a very disreputable looking man de-'
mands entrance. Suddenly, a man with Elmer Hansen's suit crawls in
on hands and knees between the butler's legs. General commotion
follows. . -
E. II.: "My clothes!" tDella collapsesj.
Frank: "The lost is found!"
Bob rushes up to him and wrings his hands. All recognize him
and shout-"Perkins !"
Bob: "VVellf what'll it be gentlemen P"
Prentiss: "A slice of strawberry cut thin, please."
P. F. fgoes to Mr, C. begging for almsj: "Pray sir, take pity on
nie. I have a wife and six children."
Mr. C.: My poor fellow, accept my heartfelt sympathy, so have I."
Hilda jerks Perkin's sleeve roughly and cries-"Wretchl"
P. F.: Qnot at all uneasyl: "Good morning, my dear, how are
H. NV.: "Since you ask--I have such a bad cold that I can't
P. F.: "Well, I wouldn't try, my dear. Nobody wants you to."
H. XV.: "Scoundrel! Inhuman villain! Murderous wretch!" Pren-
tiss manages to evade Hilda and approaches Rev. Fred Johnston.
P. F.: "XVould you like me to give you a dollar?"
P. F.: "Very well, then, 'Do unto others as you would that others
do unto you."'
P. F, has very little success and -after several attempts to get
money, tinally succeeds in getting fifty cents from judge'Turner.
judge: "Now, remember you owe me fifty cents."
P. F.: "May your honor live till I pay you."
Daisy goes to Bob-"You have known Mr. Ferguson for some
time. NVhat are his habits, loose or otherwise P"
Bob: "The one he's got on now, I think, is rather loose under the
arms and too shortwaisted for the fashion."
Daisy: "You may retire, Mr. Quigley. CBelU. i
Enter Ella Olson dressed sparklingly, and Mabel Nyquist, Red
V. O.: "NVell, if here isn't the Prima Donna Mademoiselle Olson-
Ella Qmakes flourishing bowj : "I thought I should just drop in and
say good evening, before I leave for Paris, where I shall sing the part
of 'Juana' in XVells Hively's masterpiece, 'The Heart of Juanaf "
Mabel Nyquist goes up to Miss Mark and says-"My dear Mrs.
Carpenter, you- Il1llStl1,t keep your husband up late tonight. I fear
he has the cholicf' .CBellj. u
Enter Ruth Stewart, dressed in masculine fashion.
All: "VVhy Ruth Stewart l"
R. S.: "Miss Ruth Hansen Nolander Stewart, if you please."
Elmer shows symptoms of nervousness.
R. S.: "Divorced both times. I am now teaching the reform
school which 1 believe Mr. Carpenter attended at one time." fSees
Elmer who is attempting to hide behind Frank Dwyerj-"Vagabond!
VVorthless good-for-nothing! Pepless prune!"
Albin ,fendeavoring to divert her attentionj: "How many years
have you teached?"
R. S.: "Once again!"
A. L.: "How many years have you teached?" ,
R. S.: "Rise, please, and say that until you learn to say it cor-
Elmer fsympathizing with Albinj: "Taught, Albin, taught!"
R. S.: "That was uncalled for Mr. Hansen. You mav sit!"
Qljellj Enter Helen Regar ,teacher reformer.
H. R.: "Hello, folks! How can you all was??"
H. HS.: "Once again!" p
H, R.: "Gracious! Is Miss Coleman here?" tlooks aroundj. "By
the way, l. am agitaving a reform ,mov.ement. The motion reads, 'We.
the undersigned, petition that a national law be passed forbidding
teachers to teach more than two years without unanimous consent of
all the students. They also shall he required to pass an annual Pati-
ence, Temper and Beauty Test.
Chorus: "Fine! Great! I'll sign! Let me sign!"
R. S.: "This is an outrage! I can not allow it. Absolutely! Posi-
tively! I am insulted! President Dwyer, 1 demand that you forbid them
to sign such an unheard of petition." P
H. R.: "Gracious!NVhat have I done? Is Ruth a teacher?"
All Csigll and groanj: "Yes" fBellj.
Enter Violet Ferguson, Policewoman, leading Carl Ahlberg in
prisoners' stripes. Surprised ejaculations. ,
V. F.: "I have brought with me Carl Ahlberg. an old class mem-
ber who is serving a life sentence in prison for having stolen a phial
of tears from a weeping willow and a few coppers from the change of
time, Don't come near him. He is a dangerous character. Now. I.
as you see, am il policewoman, director of the prison at Sing Sing.
Enter Montana Dclbon with a broom.
All: "VVhat! VVl1at can you be ?" I
Grace Bigelow: "Are you no longer the Mystic Oracle of Delphi?
M. D. Csighsj: "No, no longer. I grew weary of looking into the
future, and as I had accumulated vast riches, I determined to benefit
my old home town- in some way. I am now ,Ianitress of the Turlock
Union High School-VVell, in order to boost my own town, I decided
to build a new school-That was two years ago-they had been using
that old building all those eighteen years, and you can imagine what
the conditions were. Well, in order to appease both sides of town. I
built the high school right in the middle of the track. The railroad
runs through the basement. It is a, most modern building, and I en-
joy myself sweeping it out every evening. fButler enters bearing a
telegram on a tray. Mr. Dwyer opens it and readsj C
Greenland Expedition Company, '
President, Reuben Nolander.
Treasurer, Norman Humble.
Greenland, june 24, 1939.
Steamer ice-bound. Can not make other connections.
will not be with you tonight. Sorry.
p REUBEN NOLANDER,
Bob: "My stars! Greenland Expedition Company!"
Prentiss: "And to think I have spent my whole life looking for
Enter George Pierrou, Pirate, and Zella Neel, playing an accordeon.
All: "Captain Kidd! Zella! Etc."
Geo.: "Naw! 'Moses' the Pirate and Companyf "
M. IJ.: "VVhat! Are you Moses the Pirate, that wonderful singer?"
G. P.: "Uhuh. Every evening when 1 sing' and my wife plays.
all the mermaids gather around my ship entranced. 1 charm all
women with my manners and voice.
All: "Do sing for us."
G. P.: "XVal, I only sing two tunes. The one is 'Good-night
Larliesf and the other isn't. I always sing the latter on land."
Zella plays the accordeon and Ilrentiss gets up and passes his hat,
then pulls Bob up and the two of them dance a "Carpenter's Caper."
In the midst of the applause, Lulu Barricklow and VVells liively come
tearing into the room. VVells. tears his hair, beats time with a baton,
acts wildly. Lulu ravingly raves from the "Raven,"
Lucile tscreamingj : "He's mad! Take me away!"
Bob: "They must be escaped lunaticsf'
E. C.: "Zella, play something, maybe the music will soothe
them." flella plays. The effect is terrible, VVells puts his hands to
his ears and rushed madly around the room and out. Lulu ravingly
follows him. QThe turmoil subsides somewhatj.
Miss Mark fshaking her head gravelyj: "Doctor, can there be any
cure for such ravings?"
Doc.: "VVell, that depends on the person. Now as I recall those
two, they were rather erratic in their school days."
Miss Mark: "Well, my husband raves almost as much as they
every night. How can I prevent him from talking in his sleep?"
Doc.: "XN'ell, you might try giving him a few opportunities in the
day time." s
Mr. C.: Ltalking to Zellaj: "As I was saying-I forgot myself
and spoke angrily to my wife-."
Zella: "Did she resent it?"
Mr. C.: 'iFor a moment. But Kate isa fair minded woman.
After she thought it over she shook hands with me and congratulated
me on my bravery." , P
Albin: "Isn't it queer that you women always insist on having the
last word? VVhy is if? Now my wife-."
Miss Mark faggressivelyjt "XVe don't'. The only reason we get it
I A "
is because we always have a dozen arguments left when you stupid
men are all run out." QGCIICFZII laughj.
A. M.: "Violet, does your husband subscribe to the theory that
kissing transmits germs F"
V. O.: "No, he thinks that germs are mostly transmitted by
money, and is very careful not to hand me any."
A. L.: "My wife constantly pesters me for money. Violet, I'd give
you more but you're not a bit economical.
V. O.: "lfVell, if you don't cll a woman economical who saves
her wedding gown for a possible second marriage, I'd like to know
what you think economy is." fWild commotion in the rear. VVells
and Lulu reenter ravingj.
V. J.: "Ohl dear! Oh, dear! XVhat shall we do to calm them?"
Bob: "Say didn't Wells write that class song of ours? Maybe if
we sang that he could be subdued."
All: "Yes, yes, let's." fThey commence to sing. Wells calms
perceptibly, rushes to the front wildly swinging his baton, and leads
the songj. Curtain.
The Mystic Oracle is seen seated in dim shadows. Soft, plaintive.
The vision fades, the glowing light
Dims slowly to as dark night,
And leaves my crystal empty as a tomb,
My senses saddened and the room
Desolate, cold, a somber gray,
VVherein dim gruesome shadows play.
I've dared the fates, I've won and yet
.My mind is weary with regret.
For those same fates have proved to me
Life is a tragic comedy,
Shown my gay classmates worn with age,
Sad, hapless creatures on Life's stage.
I've dared the Fates, I've won a look,
In one far page of Future's book.
The petty smallness of it all
I've glimpsed within my Crystal Ball-
But what has been my gain in seeing
The sorry comedy of being
Only sad knowledge and dull pain-
To wish I did not know again.
Curtain. C'est tout.
---Written by Montana Delbon and Dorothy Alquist
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The Alert Staff
Editor ........................... ......... I iuth M. Stewart
Business Manager ....................,....... Elmer Hansen
Assistant Editors ............ Montana Delbon, Selah Pereria
Assistant Business Manager .................. blames Howard
Literary ...... --- ......... Lulu Barricklow, XX'ells Hively
Music ..... - .........,....,.,..,...... Uoris Olson
Debating .................... ............ l Jorris Eddy
Dramatics F18 and 'WJ ........ ........ I .eota Gilliland
Boys' Athletics V18 and 'lfiy .................. Leland Curtis
Girls' Athletics C18 and 'lfij .................... Gladys Olson
Calendar .......... Pauline Ratzell, Ruth Benson, .-Xlice Mittel
Snap Shots--- .............,.. Helen Regar, Lois Childs
Agriculture--- ..,...... Perry McPherren
Alumni ...... ................ I 'aul Nystruin
Exchanges-- ---Fred johnston, Carl -'Xhlberg
jokes .......... ...... Z ella Neel, Russel Boner
Boys' Cadets .,.,. - .......... Harold Hjehn
Girls' Cadets ............................... Dorothy Alquist
Mechanical Department-U - ---.--.-.------- john Roberts
.Xrt Editors -------..--- ---. N ellie Stahl, Bertha Golloug
T the beginning of this school year, the printing of "The Alert"
was not deemed possible by either students or faculty, for we had
in 1918 voted to give up our annual journal until the victorious close
of the war. As soon as the arniistice was signed there were numerous
niurniurings in regard to the publication of "The Alert." These inur-
murings soon assumed the form of an election in the Associated
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Student Body, which resulted in the decision to print "The Alert."
As the enforced influenza epidemic vacation of this year had
broken into the school work and activities-both social and athletic-
to such a great extent, many of the students reasoned that we should
not have sufficient material to make a good-up-to-T. H. S.-standard
paper, but when we all put our shoulders to the wheel and pushed
for a good annual, we found abundant help and material.
In view of this we have recorded some of the activities of 1918
along with those of 1919, for since we had no "Alert" last year tand yet
it was then that T. H. S. carried on some of her most noteworthy
activitiesj we felt that we should enjoy seeing them recorded along
with those of 1919.
The Editor wishes to thank all who helped, both students and
faculty, in making the printing of this paper possible, for it was only
through their united and sincere efforts that we were able to publish
this issue of "The Alert."
-R. M. S., '19.
T. H. S. roo Per Cent Patriotic
O NE more year has passed and one more page is added to the school
history. What a bright page it is! It is that one which records
the patriotic activities of T. H. S.g it tells what our old high has done
to help win the war for democracy.
We are justly proud of our efforts in this direction, for there has
never been a call for money or work in any war activity that the
Student Body, a 100 per cent patriotic organization, has not got behind
and pushed with that degree of patriotic enthusiasm and "pep" that
only T. H. S. can exhibit-T. H. S. with ninety-five stars in her proud
We have worked hard, and enjoyed it, in our high school Red
Cross Chapter, which was organized in 1918. XVe have as our officers
Ruth Stewart .................... --- ........... President
Lois Alquist ........... .................... V ice President
Raymond Robb ........................ Secretary-Treasurer
Up to the time of the signing of the armistice, we had busied
ourselves making bandages, refugee garments, and hospital garments,
while the teachers found that their instructions were punctuated by
the busy click of knitting needles, for the girls never wearied of
knitting sweaters, socks, helmets-in fact doing whatever they could
to help. XVe aided the town chapter in its salvage campaign by draft-
ing every "Ford" we could muster into service and using it to
gather all such articles of salvage as were needed and procurable.
The proceeds of the annual school play tin 1918j went to the Red
Cross. In both 1918 and 1919 we have had a 100 per cent Red Cross
membership and what is more, a 100 per cent Red Cross workmanship.
for we have aided in every way we were capable of aiding, such as
helping to sell ice cream, etc., for the Red Cross on all festive occasions.
However, we have not confined our zeal to Red Cross activities
alone. but have worked equally hard for other patriotic organizations.
All profits made from our May Day Fete fl9l8j, went to the Y. M. C.
A. After we decided in 1918 that we would not print "The Alert,"
because of the war pressure, a large number of the students felt that
they would like to give S1 they had intended to spend for an "Alert,"
to the Y. M. C, A. As a result about S125 was collected from this
source and turned over to this worthy organization.
And the Victory Boys and Girls? No, indeed we can't forget
them! Under very able leadership, both girls and boys organized into
efficient and co-operating units. The girls, under the slogan of "A
girl behind every lighter," gave 3991.65 and the boys 5811.75 to the
United War Fund Drive.
A brief table of T. H. S. war activities follows:
Liberty Bonds owned by pupils, teachers and T. H. S. 311,276.00
VV. S. S, owned by pupils, teachers and T. H. S. ...... 2,489.25
Salvage amounting to ................................ 443.53
Books collected for soldiers and sailors ..... 531
Xmas boxes sent to soldiers and sailors ..... 194
Liberty Bond essays written ................. Z0
Liberty Bond speakers form T. H. S. ................ 15
Bedside tables for hospitals made by T. H. S. .......... 24
Yes, we have been "carrying on" over here in the best and most
efficient way that we felt we could accomplish our patriotic duty and
privilege, every one pulling for victory. We of T. H. S. had the
will and therefore found the way. not only to do "our bit" but, "our
best," for our fighters, our cause. and our flag.
-R. M. S.,'19.
T. H. S. Jazz .
T. H. S. has passed through a perfect whirlpool of jazz this year
-a whirlpool with "The Alert" at the vortex, Every school activity
has been boosted to the superlative degree. Unprecedented support
has been shown at basketball, baseball games, and track meet.
T. H. S. has boosted the Chautauqua this year by buying and sell-
ing tickets in great numbers, and by typing advertising matter, she
has shown her reverence for the soldiers of '61-'65 and her homage 'to
the sons in khaki by her loyal and unanimous support in the Memorial
parade and exercises of May 30. On such days as April 1, when the
annual junior-Senior contest raged, school spirit passed the zenith
that eclipsed that of all previous class wars and color rushes. The
campus was a scene of battle and gaiety Qmixed in equal proportionsj
from four o'clock in the morning, until dusk.
Nine big ones for T. H. S. JAZZ!
S. P., '20.
Thoughts of a Junior
When I was small, I used to sigh
And wish that I could go to Highg
The fun I'd have and games I'd play!
The A's I'd get from day to day!
And then, a Freshie shy I came
Tiptoeing thro' this hall of fame,
Till Algebra my dreams dispelled,
For in my head it ne'er was held.
And then I passed and was a Sophg
It really makes me kind o' cough
Apologetic like, you see
'Twas then I tried Geometry.
Now I'm a junior tried and true,
Though History is my VVaterloo,
Chemistry, English and Latin III,
And how the government's run, you see.
Next year I hope to reach the goal,
And have my name on the Senior role,
No one on earth could ever buy
lYhat I'll have learned at Turlock High.
-RUTH JONES, '20.
Clll ll JI. is fast drawing tu the eluse which will make us, the prnucl
X vvearers nl' the purple ancl the white. seniors. We pause to pay tri-
lzute til the high selituil vvhieh we ltvve anrl xvhieh we hnpe tu serve
vvell next year.
This year Kliss l'lummer anml Bliss Reetl were again ehtvsen nur
helpers, twgetlier vvith Xlrs. Xvanzer. They have prwvecl tu he a neeess
sary part nf our class-ive luve them. Nur presiflent, llan Hlueker.
enlisterl in the service a levv munths after seliiml lmegtan. The ahsenve
M his executive ahility is felt yet. 'lames llwwarrl. Charles lQulJt'l'Is,
llelen Urnlmerg ancl llertha lliwllinlg' furm the present juniur -vl'l'ieers
with Nellie Stahl, the elass Neil Cross representative,
llur class is full uf talenteml folks. lvhu vvtiulml nut euine frmn
alzirltm hear une ul Doris Hlsuifs pianu reeitals? tltimlwiii Shaller.
the seliiml's yell-leatler. is a juni-wr, as is alsu the presimlent nf the
lligh Salitwl .Xrt Cluh. Three :rf the live swluists presentetl lay Klr.
Williams at the eunrert are juniwrs. lfnture lawyers. authurs. fluetwrs.
scientists, artists, teachers anrl singers till the elass.
.Xll selifltil aetivities have their juniur representatives. The hanil,
the ureliestra, as well as lmnth glee elulms, have a very large numlmer nl
junilrrs. ln mlehating, the juniwrs vvere liunurecl hy having txvn nf their
meinliers tin the selmtil team in the State League rlelmates. In athletics
--tn' influence is incleetl very strimgg. llulrling the hest place in lmys'
lmaskethall is a juniwr. l.elancl Curtis, wlinm Mr. Carpenter elasses
"seeuncl til nnnef' ln girls' basketball, in hasehall, tennis and traelc
xvurk the Aiuniivrs exeel. llur lwys' ability in military lilies is seen liy
the laet that must ul the eaclet nllieers are juniors, There are alsn
smiieljtniiui' girl eaclet uttieers.
ln the annual seiiim'-jiiiiim' euntest the juniors sliuwecl their super-
ifvrity nver the seniurs. The sign uf the vieturs, a large vvliite-vvashetl
"l'lZO," still gleams un the annex runfl l Y
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It was the juniors who brought up the idea of a uniformity pin for
the high school.
During the recent Near-East Relief Drive it was the juniors who
brought in the most money, bringing almost as much as the other three
'classes combined. Miss Stahl, a junior, was the prize winner in the
poster contest for advertising the Relief Drive. We also gathered up
by far the most salvage in the Red Cross Drive. In the United XYar
Work Campaign two juniors were chosen as district leaders of Victory
Girl and Boy Divisions.
By our record you see we are as good as the best. "Seize the
Gpportunityu is our mottog and we are following Longfellow's advice:
"Build today, then strong and sure
VVitl1 firm and ample base,
And ascending and secure
Shall tomorrow find its place."
-BERTHA GOLLONG, '2O.
Humor!! I Nell
'l'l1c S1w11l1o111111'cs rc-c11tcrc1l sclitml with :1 Il1L'l11lJCI'Sl1iD of SCX'L'11Ij'-
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lflliu llcllmim ..,,..... ....,...,,..,Y....o, - ,.,.,, S ccrctztry
Lois .Xlquist ,....o.,,,....... -- ....o......o.o,. 'liI'L'2lSllI'L'T
Nlatiilc XX'ilst111 ,,.,. ..... ..,,.............,... X ' cll Lcarlcr
lfiviml lillLll5l'll ....,,..... .,o,,o,, ...,.., S 1 -rgcztnt :tt 1X1'111N
.Xltltuugli l111111lit:11111c1l lay tllc lung 'ilxlllu x:1t:1ti1111, wc l1z1x'c mzttlt
fl goml 1'cc1rr1l ft-1' tlic ycztr. S1 vpl11v111111'cs nuty lac t'1wL111tl ill cx'c1'y svliiml
stttivity. Sk'Xl'l'2ll ul 11111' 1111-111l1c1's sing i11 the tllcc Clulus. Xtc :111
wpctiztlly wt-ll 1'cp1'csc11tc1l i11 the lblllltl :tml w1'tl1cst1':1. XXX- l1ztx'c st:11
plztyt-rs llll lllllll ul tltc lruskctlvall tcztnts. Nlz11'g:11'1-t XX'ix41v11. at Sivplw-
ulwrc. is 111z111:1gc1' uf thc 'llL'llIllS Cltilw. XYQ 1111- ztlwly l'ClH'L'SCllICll 111 tl11
lixcctitivc Cmiiiiiittcu mcctings by Cliarlcs llolicutliztl.
'lllic S1111l1o111111'1-s :irc one l1LlllflI'L'Cl pci' vent Rt-tl Cr-was ll'lL'l11llL'l'N
XX 1- have llCL'll ztctitc 111 rclict work. Mciiilmcrs nl our class cz111x':1sw1l
thc IlHI'll1L'ZlSl ritiartci' of thc town in thc last Real Cross Sztltagc l,1'lX'L'
:tml lll-llllglll ill ll witiiclcrftil twvllt-cti4111 of olil vlotlics. llll Gttml l:l'lllZlj
wc ctvllcctctl S4-l.2l l-HI' thc relief of thc people of lllk' Near lfztst. lt
1111s tlw S-rplimtiurc claw that piwvptvseil thc plan of c11g:1gi11g Klr. Knox
thc i111pc1's1111:1t+v1', lu rztiw nitvncy for tlit- Fztim- ilritc. 'llic scliof-l
:tcm-imtcrl :mil s1111p1+1'1t-tl tlic lllllll 11'l1icl1 was ll sticccas i11 cvcry l'L'SI1Ck'l,
lllll' class z11l1'ifi11'4. Kliss Sk'llHl:fk'l'. Nliss l'lz11'tl0tt :mtl Nliss tlttlfl-
N111itl1. l':11'c lrct-11 f:1itl11'11l S'PlJllUIUll1'L'S :1111l wc l11 qw tht-y will lac -l1111io1's
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""" ""'iYW"'D' 'Y' ' ""f
Build Ye the Foundation Well
AKING from three hundred to a thousand years to erect an edifice
is not confined alone to the mediaeval period. In those good old
nays when a knight snatched my lady's glove from the floor and sallied
forth to slay the villain who had made his love's life a burden of
misery, it took hundreds of years to build a cathedral or a church.
Now, despite the fact that skilled workmen are easily obtained, and
the money is at hand with which to pay the skilled workmen, and the
material with which the skilled workmen are to work can easily be
had, even now, despite all of these advantages, it sometimes takes
several years to erect a building. This is not often the casey but once
in a while it happens. All of which goes to show that our advance-
ment in the past few centuries has not been so rapid after all.
I cite for instance, a case with which you are all familiar-the
erection of a building that perhaps will affect the educational careers
of all of you. I say perhaps, because you may be denied the enjoy-
ment of even loitering in spacious halls, but then again owing to an
extremely long life, you may have the chance of reaping some of the
beneiiits such a building would bring.
The foundation of this building was laid several years ago, That
was all, merely the foundation was laid. Meantime the number of
pupils-l don't say students, for a student is one who studies-has
increased considerably, so rapidly, in fact, that the regular assembly
will no longer hold them all. Vllhen a speaker comes to talk to us,
the pupils assemble in the study hall, where they sit, two in a narrow
seat, while the speaker stands on a little platform in the center of
the building at one side, with his back first to one part of the audience,
and then to the other, the pupils endeavoring with strained attention
to hear what he says, as the words leave his mouth, and are wafted
away upon the gentle breeze through the screen wall, and thus out
into the world.
We have an annex. They really built us an annex. During the
course of a day several chemistry classes meet in this annex. There
is another class room next to the chemistry laboratory, the loveliest of
all the rooms. We sit there listening to first one and then the other
make his or her recitation, and as we sit and listen and ponder, there
floats into our room aromas that no flower garden was ever able to
produce. The odor of hydrogen sulphide, and other entrancing per-
fumes are wafted to our eager nostrils upon the gentle breeze, and as
we are not equipped for any such attack, we beat a hasty retreat to the
lawn where we sit and finish the day's assignment. The Canadians
may have met with a more destructive gas but with none that had
such an odor.
P- YW' - ' ""' 'f' '
Some day, despite the fact that we have waited a long time, some
day, I firmly believe, we shall have a new school. O, ye of little faith,
hath hope deserted thee? On the day of its dedication we shall meet
at some before-named spot, and have our grandchildren, who should
by that time be large enough for the task, push us in our wheel-chairs
to the scene of great rejoicing. There we shall sit, during its dedica-
tion, stroking our beards, and nodding our heads in silent satisfaction.
ROBERT FOWLER, '21
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sre1lit flil' heing.
- ' llgl Sflllllll career Septem 1
111, an1l I s11111111se we were as green as tl1e lllJllC1'-ClZ1SSll1Cll gave 11s
- llllt 1111 :1 gallant fight at the llSll'll Milllk'lilll - "
1 K '. antl 1r111'e1
that they, as well as the llIJllCI'ACl2lSSlllL'l'I, Clllllll lllilllllllllillk' a l111st'.
Xle all lJ1'Qp2ll'Cll Ull1'SClX'CS a1't'1i11st tl1
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S11l1'l0Wll2lT. lilll' the ll 1 1er-classmen
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1 1 ' ng' scl11111l life XY'
:he usual Flllltbll 11f chalk :1111l water
Xl e UI'g'1llllZC1l 11111' class s111111 after SCl1111ll
l'a11l lir11ckx1'ay .,..,,..,.....,........, .,,........ l 'resiclent
llazel Qllllllllllgillillll ............,...........,,, Yice-l'resi1le11t
hlilflllil Yirgu .....................,1.............. Secretary
l.illia11 .Xrkelian .... , ,..,,,.,,..,,....Y........,... 'llreasurer A
.-Xustin l111r1le11 .,........,,.,1.A,.......... Sergeant at ,Xrms
lfsther Stewart ,..H.........................,. Class RCl31lI'lL'l'
.XlJllL'2ll'2lllL'L'S are tlL'L'ClX'lllg', f11r, even tllllllgll we may l1111k rather
,i111i1l and green, we 1 " " " '1 ' ' ' '
ere are l'l'CSll1l'lCll i11 the Q.
lll1l girls: anal i11 l1asel1 '
llt ntll itpicsentetl lll all act11'1t1es 111 the scl11111l.
e have players llll l111tl1 the girls' ancl l111ys' basket l1all teams.
'llli ' '
lee Cllllll i11 tl1e Cadets, l111th l111ys
all, IS llllt tl1e star pitcher a l'4l'CSlllllZlll?
ll'e l1el1l 11111' lirst s "
tlklill activity May 3, i11 tl1e flbflll of a lawn
party 1111 the high sch1111l c'1m 1
1 ius, which was artistically ClCCUl'1lICll with
Plll' class c11l11rs, 1111r11le and g'11ltl, 'llhis ll'lS been 1
1 llll' only s11cial Illliilll'
1l1is term: l111t there will he IIIUYC l1ef111'e scl11111l cl11ses,
We certainly have 11111st helpful class a1lx'is111
Nliss lllllll antl Mr.lYillia111s. .-Xt 1
's i11 Miss Restwn,
1a1'ties, Mr. XYilliams keeps 11s
1111e11e1l. with the 11111
rlllglllg. while Nil
sw Hunt and Mix ReQton keep u' l'
, , H 5 aughing and put
"pep" into the ganies.
Un the whole, xve think we have an excellent class, and are prouil
of our purple and gold.
-ESTHER .XXX STEXY.-XRT. '22,
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their work 11'our or more sulmjeets1 for the your 1018-103
Montana llelhon, 'IU 15 sulvj
Chester Arnold, '22
ave made an average of over 00 in all
l,nlu liarrnklovv, 'IW 15 suhjectsj. .'XX'Cl'2lQ'C over 'ill for four vears.
Grace Bigelow, 'lil
Kathleen Britton, '20
Ella Crowell, '2U.
liertha Gollong, '20 15 suhjeetsr
Esther Hall, '20,
XYCllS llively, illl.
Eflxvin linutsen. '21 C5 sulmjeetsl.
Ruth Kyle, l22.
Pearl Lang, '22,
Norma Loop, '20.
lloris Mellonalrl. '22.
Alice Mittel. 'l'l.
Linnea Nelson, "22.
Doris Olson, '20 15 sulmjeetsj.
X iolet Olson, '19,
llauline Ratzell, 'lf7.
Carrie Regar, '20,
Ruth Stewart, 'l'? Xx
. 4 'erage over UO for four year:
eetsj. ,Xverage over '75 for four yearf
votetl hest untl from the State Commi
, ' ' will
it 'j CLUB
, ,sl ' g
.xxx X ' i ana Canter- 1 K
inzule tneritorious progress this year. ln early Urtoher lust, :in .Xrt
Club, lirst in Turlock lligli Sth
ool's history, was forniecl with liertlizi
gg us its president. Ruby Lindhlztcl, Kathleen liritton, l.illiz1n
elizin :intl Clizirles Roberts are the remaining oifieers.
Xniong the eluh ztetivities was a very enjoyable :intl instructive
to the 'llurloek 'llrihune oitiee, Two trips were taken where the
nrt stumlents tleliglitecl in the pictures of Nature whom no artist can
X patriotic :let
' ' ivity was the putting out of mzinv posters to :nl-
vertise the Near-East Reliif 17 ' - ' '
L untl. Miss Nellie 5l2lllllS poster wus
ttee she reeeixteml at fitting' -'ift
Imoolx on the "l,z1ws of -IZIPZHICSQ l'zii11ti1ig."
e annual art exliihit lielcl on May Day was very eoniplinientzn'x'
. . . . ,
In the zthilities ul Bliss lxeston and her students.
-l3ER'l'll.X GHLLONG, '2O.
.' J" i
I Mfhlu Clues
L'n ler the talented direction of Miss Reston, the :nrt stuclents have
DR M TICS
. ' 1 PM
REYIOUS tn 1917-18 dramatics had only a small part in the 1-utside
activities uf Turluck lligh Sclifml except for the annual sclnml play.
This gave opportunity to a few only to take part in the dramatics. In
the fall of 1917 we organized a dramatic club, under the direction uf
Miss Coleman, the object of which was tu give opportunities In as
many as possible to take part in farces in connection with the debates
and other entertainments.
Nu one who saw militarism in girls' lnrarcling-schmil life as pre-
sented hy Starch, or the head of a schoul for young ladies as repre-
sented hy Miss Betty Bookworm, can ever forget the shnrt farce,
"Using the XYeed." The little after breakfast "Oysterettes" alsu gave
a picture of boarding school life, in which a threatening tragedy ended
rather happily, Aunt Tabitha's umbrella was safe, and a taste for
oysters was acquired. "An Economical Boomerang" delighted the
january freshman class. Our greatest designers of feminine garments
are men, but a man is not often so rash as to mix himself up in things
feminine, and pose as a model for his wife's gowns, VVh0 can ever
forget the lovely vases with "butterflies and hoomin birds, blue and
grane ones," that Aunt Marietta painted herself, as shown in "The
Teeth of the Gift Horse ?" Only a clairvoyant like Blake could rescue
them from Anne's rummage sale, and restore them to their proper
places on the ma,ntel on either side of the clock in Florence and Dick's
dining room. It has not been an oversight that "The Obstinate
Family" is mentioned last among the farces. Man's efforts to over-
come a woman's wishes are often ludic rous, whether in the case of bride
and groom, father and mother, or maid and butler. And now, using an
expression of the Obstinate Family, "Thank Goodness the Table Is
Spread," and the account of the farces is over.
The dramatic season closed with "The Time of His Life," which
was given in the Turlock Theatre on May 18, 1918. The net proceeds
were donated to the Red Cross.
The cast of the play was as follows:
Tom Carter ............................ .... I Jan Blucker
Mrs. Bob Gray, sister of Tom Carter ......,..... Zella Neel
Bob Gray .......................... .... - ---joseph Callahan
Mrs. Peter Wycombe ----.-------------..-- Arthelia Shannon
Peter W'ycombe, an invalid ----.----.-.---- Howard Convers
Lorothy Langdon, niece of the VVycombe,s Mary Kate Roberts
james Langdon, Dorothy's father, rather peppery ----
Uncle Tom, old negro servant -----.-- .---- F red Johnston
Pat, the policeman ----.--.-..----.-.-..--.-- Goodwin Shaffer
In this play the dramatic club enjoyed its greatest success. When
a blue-eyed college man undertakes the role of a grayhaired darkey to
save the reputation for hospitality in his sister"s household, and when
the guests are the distinguished Mr. and Mrs. Peter Wycombe and
Dorothy Langdon, there are some unavoidable and nerve-racking
situations. To entertain, in the confusion of general house cleaning,
an invalid whose nervous apprehensions caused him to experience all
the maladies of the pharmacopoeia from paralysis to blindness, except-
ing the "flu," was no small tax on a gracious and resourceful hostess.
Any young woman who is anticipating the training of a husband might
remember Mrs. Wycombe's lorgnette and the foot-pats that rendered
Peter uxorious. So successfully did Tom Carter play his role that it
was no wonder old Uncle Tom saw his double, Mr. Langdon, an
rf r'i""""""""' '
innocent victim of a seeming violation of the rites of hospitaliy, suffi-
ciently recovered from his explosive state to bestow a paternal blessing
on the happy pair at the uncanny hour of three o'clock in the morning.
With the assistance of Bob Gray and the policeman, a happy ending
' At -the beginning of the year a meeting of all those interested in
dramaticswas called. A large number responded, and organized the
dramatic club with the following officers:
-Leota Gilliland .................................... President
W" juenei Cooper ................................ Vice-President
' Ruth Stewart ...................... Secretary and Treasurer
Not because we lacked talent, but because we lost 'so much time
during' the influenza epidemic, we were forced to give up dramatics
for this year.
-LEOTA GILLILAND, '19.
L. -as I
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No agricultural club was formed in the agricultural classes 'during
the present year on account of eonditions prevailing during tlu: open-
The usual classes were carried on and trips were made to visit and
inspect several farms and dairies of interest.
.Ns "'l'l1e .Xlertu was not published last year. we shall give a brief
outline of tlie work t2ll1'lCkl on by the club of 1918. under the super-
vision of Mr. liyle.
.X meeting was held for the election of otfieers, which resulted as
llenry Scliendel .......................,......,..,. President
Lelioy Nlains .......e.....................,., Yice- President
llerbert Neuman ............e........... Secretary-'llreasurer
.-X l'ig Club was formed under the advice of the University club
director. Although LeRoy Mains produced the largest pig, 315 pounds,
the first prize was awarded to Clyde Melvin who produced a pig at
less cost a pound. His pig weighed 300 pounds.
'llliose taking part in the contest were:
Clyde Melvin, LeRoy Mains, Herbert Neuman, Hugh McCord,
llenry Scliendel and Clifford Daniel.
.-X Potato Club was also formed. but school closed before the con-
test was linislied, ,Xll club work was interfered with this year by the
epidemic: and we received no visits from the club directors of the
More extensive plans are being' made for carrying' on the work
-PERRY NVPHERREN, 20.
My worthy uppunentl I refute yuur argument! l Y
Sueh elashes and shunts of dehating' nratnry have nut lmeen su lvvnml
as usual this year aruund the tampus.
'lf ll. S. llelwating Smiety re-nrganized in the fall -if WIN in full
swing' under the supervisiun of Bliss Xlark. .X very sueeessful year
was in view. .X meeting was talled at Mndestu at which all nf the
sweieties in the enunty were represented, and great plans were laid
for debates during the ensuing year. Then eaine the "flul" Su nu State
ilehates were held this year in either 'l'urlmk nr the nther tuvvns uf the
During the year of 1918, Turlock joined the "State League uf
iiehatersf' 'l'he first league dehate nf the year against Newman tw-uk
plaee at 'llurluek, Nuvemlmer lfm. 'llhe questiun was, "Resulved that
:he United States shuuld adnpt the Ctmstittitiim uf the League tw
linfwrte l'eate." 'llurluek was represented hy .Xiny Carlsun and l'aul
Xystrwtn. who upheld the affirmative+'llhe deeisiun was 2 tu l in
favwr uf 'l'urluek.
l'arallel with nur affirmative team, a 'l'urlnek negative team went
tu llughsun. lt eunsisted nf Bertha ll-flluiig' and .Iuseph Callahan.
This was a elnse dehateg however, the 'Vurlntk team "left the field with
flying eulwrsf' The judges' deeisiwn was 2 tw l in our favnr.
Nur seewnd League llelmate was with l'attersun. Unee inure 'lf ll.
S. went tu lmattle and eaine nut the vietur, 'l'he questiun was flie-
snlved that the United States should own and tvperate taetnries uf
Klunitiuns uf XYar." XYe were given a unaniniuus deeisiun hy the three
-luseph Callahan and Bertha fhnlltwng' went tn Uakdale tw uphold the
ziegative, llere the l. ll. S. team was fnreed In give ground and inet
their first defeat frmn a strung team.
Un -lanuary ll. we dehated at Stuitwa. The questiun was. "Re
solved that the Single Tax he adupted in the State uf Califurniaf'
iudlles. The 'llurlmk delmaters were Sylmil .Xtidersuii and Ruth Stewart.
Sonora took the 2ll'fll'lll2ltlX'C, whilc bloscph Czxllzthan :mul l'aul Nystrom
of Turlock upheld the negntivc. llc lost this mlchutc at Sonora. This
was quits ll clisuplnmintmcnt, hut we um not expect life to he always
strewn with roses.
To olifsct this clefcat Ruth Stewart :xml .Xmy Carlson, who upheld
thc z1ti'irmz1tix'e, met Modesto at Turlock. The clccision was Z to l in
Turlotk has maclc zu time rut-orfl in clehziting the lust few years :tml
we are looking forwzlrcl to wiiining' :again next year,
--DURRIS EIJDY, '20,
BASEBALL TEAM. 'IB
Harm! 'Rm-+I ,Q '
Girls' Athletics---Report for 1917-1918
Turlock. Opposing Team. Wherf Played
H N 1.11111 17 1.11111
" 10 llustinc 2 'l1111'111114
28 111111111110 17 11:11i11:111'
-1-1 1,2l1.tL'1'S11ll 2 '11111'1111'k
311 3111111111 1 8411111111
11,1 1.0 111111111 '7 1,0 111111111
-12 111114111110 17 111111-Illlk
27 Gustiuc 1-1 Gustiuc
11 1.0 111111111 2 ,11111'1l1l-If
31 1':1tlC1's1111 111 l':1ttc1's1111
211111111 241 ,lxfltill H5
l1z1111cs W1111, 117112111105 111s1, 1.
11118-1019 SIQXS1 HN.
Turlock. Opposing Team. Where Played
" 22 1,11c1i IS '11111'111c1q
117 1 1z1k11z11c 111 '11l'I1'1llk'1i
21 1ll1g'11Sl111 N '11111'1111'1c
1111111 112 '11111211 -12
11z1111cs 1v1111, 37112111108 11151, 11,
'11111 111.51 game 111 thc scz1s1111 111' 11117 wc 1115
1 111 111111 111' 11111. 11 1111
11111 1111s wc 1111 11111 15C"'1'l1K1g'C Ql1lL'C 111 1'1l'1 wc 11 111 11'll1l'l 1110111 11x 11 ll
g A pickup team played Oakdale April ll, 19193 in the first half the
score was l6 to 8 in our favor, but in the second half fate was against
us and we lost by a score of 25 to 19.
g C TENNIS
O Tennis, another form of physical training, is also a sport with its
enthusiastic fans. It has continually occupied the two new courts
since the beginning of the second semester.
The tennis club held a grand tournament in which they displayed
ability as tennis champions by the-high honors which they received.
l ' GYMNASIUM '
The gymnasium classes proved their efficiency at the May Day
festival which every one enjoyed and appreciated.
. To Miss Reston and Mr. Carpenter we owe our success in all our
U W- -GLADYS N. OLSON, '20
T Boys Athletics---1917-1918
Turolck started oFf with a big boom in athletics this year. XVe
lost many of last year's "veterans" but still we have a new coach who
has the world beat for "pep." VVe took up basketball with a vengeance,
also baseball. Track was revived in T. U.. H, S. after many years of
desuet-ude. XNe kept it going with a track meet at Oakdale.
The basketball team went after the state championship good and
hardi winning twenty-five games and then losing the twenty-sixth to
Hollywood. VVe came within one game of the state championship.
The baseball team also proved itself worthy of belonging to Tur-
lock High by winning out in the local league. We were challenged
by Coalinga for the championship of the Valley, but lost to them in a
hard fought eleven inning game.
' A The school owes much to coach Carpenter for turning out such
goodteams.. The teams owe much also to the school for its loyal sup-
porfiboth when playing at home and on foreign soil.
' THE COACH'S COMMENT
The keynote of Turlock's success in sport is teamwork. That
teamwork rests solely upon speed and ability to play the ball rather
than the man. This is illustrated by the fact that no player has been
forced from the game because of any infringment of the rules. Turlock
plays 'her game for the sport and for victory of course, but victory
won fairly and with out official aid, Here I might say, that for the
6l. N'Yi.L S'I5I9
Bl 'ITVBLBHSVE S1819
. . .,T,.-.-..- v--- --vw-1
most part, we have met gentlemanly teams and hope in the future to
meet those same teams in a, sportsmanlike manner.
The team itself. In Kingery and I-I. Hultberg, one found an ideal
combination of guards, one who played a running guard to the sorrow
of the opposing teaing the other a back-field player, who played the
game so well that his man was held scoreless in half the games. At
renter, if there was a star in the game, such was Curtis. Tall and
rangy, fast and sure, he glides about scoring at ease. His effectiveness
is illustrated by the fact that he alone scored more points than all
our opposing teams. In Bothun and C. Hultberg, one found forwards
who played the ball, shot accurately and guarded closely. When one
was closely guarded, it only remained for the other to win the game,
and never did he fail.
I congratulate them as an ideal team with a tru e idea of sports-
manship, as fighters of the first rank and file. Turlock plays to win,
but to win fairly always. We ask no more and hope for no less.
PRACTICE GAMES OF 1917-1918.
1, Not feeling sure of ourselves, due to four new players on our
team, we took on an easy team for our first game, challenged the Stock-
ton Athletics' 145 pound team who weighed closer to 180 pounds, and
much to the surprise of all, came off an easy winner. Score 42-2.
2. Our next game was played at Sonora. Though handicapped
by a dirt court, still we won through the fine playing of C. Hultberg.
3. Lodi next challenged us. For three successive years, Turlock
mould not cope with Lodi on Lodi's court. Although we were full of
confidence, Lodi led us at half time, 13-12. XVe fought with a venge-
ance the second half in which "Red" Kingery, our star guard, pulled
a trick on Lodi and shot enough goals to win the game. Our hats
off to Lodi, as good a team as we met. Score, 28-23.
4, We had an easy victory with Dos Palos. If in doubt, ask H.
Hultberg. Score, 62-14.
5. Along about this time we discovered a. little place called Le
Grande. Their basketball team consisted of a slippery floor and a
good home team official. We almost lost. Score, 29-24.
6. This brings us to the Christmas vacation. The team traveled
north playing their first game at Princeton. Score first half, 25-5.
Unable to stand defeat, Princeton forfeited the second half.
7. The next game on the trip was at Sutter City. Here we played
one of our best games of the season, Sutter City leading until within
two minutes of time. This game showed' that we were better than any
team in northern California, for Sutter City won that championship,
8. lone was Turlock's next victim. Score, 31-24.
9. on New Year's Day., 1918 ,we played Preston School of In-
dustry. What a cosmopalitan team ,they were? We won again, 51-40.
110. We played our return game with Sonora at Turlock winning
by the- large margin of 100-14.
1. Next, we played the return game with Dos Palos at Dos Palos.
Another easy game. -Curtis shot 19 goals. Score, 88-32.
12, The following night, we played Gustine, Aside from the
crabbing at the referee by Gustine, the game was interesting to see
how large a score we could make. Score, 65-15.
13. Le Grand came to Turlock to stop our string of victori.s.
She lost. Score, 49-20.
H 14. Our first league game was with Modesto, who claimed no
practice. VVe .beat them whatever their claim, 68-24.
,15. VVe next played Oakdale at Oakdale on a small court.
Bothun saved the day for us. Score, 22-16.
162 Ripon, a gentlemanly team, came to Turlock: having had
littllegexperienee, they lost, 75-16. .
17f The hardest game we? expected was with Ceres. It turned out
one of our easiest. Score, 53-135
18. We played Hughson at Hughson on a dirt courtg hence the
score of 40-10.
19, 'Hughson came to Turlock for a return game. Hughson
speaks ,of the .-game in a whisper. "Boots" Bothun shot 18 field goals.
Score, 100-11. if
20. Ripon forfeited her return game, 2-0.
21. i Something happened to Ceres, she forfeited, 1 Score, 2-0.
22. Oakdale played her return game at Turlock, much to her
sorrow. Turlock's team work put her down and out. Score, 77-15.
23, The game that gave us the county championship was played
at Modesto. This was our hardest and roughest game because of the
long standing enmity between the teams. Score, 42-25.
24. VVe next played Fresno for the Northern Section of Central
California Championship at Fresno- Fresno, on her previous record the
preceding year, intended to repeat against Turlock. Turlock won at
25. The game with Dinuba made us champions of central and
northern California. In a rough and unsatisfactory game, we won,
16-18. .' -
26. Then came the big' game of the season with Hollywood.
Hollywood and Turlock faced each other on undefeated records
Hollywood, though a'weaker team than others we had played, defeated
1 1. VII, .
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us for the state title. Turlock fought ganiely to the last. Hats off to
Hollywood. Score, 31-22.
This ended our basketball season. Although we lost the cham-
pionship, we were glad that we lost to a sportsmanlike team.
Games won 25 ,lost 1.
Total points scored Turlotk ll7l. Opponents 419.
The following men played the entire season:
Forwards, Myron Bothun, Charles Hultbergg center, Leland Cur-
tis, guards, Capt. Edgar Kingery, Hilmar Hultberg.
The second team made a fine showing this year winning all of
Turlock 20 Oakdale 13
" 38 Gustine 11
" 29 Dos Palos 17
32 Irwin City 15
48 Oakdale 2nd 4
54 Irwin City 11
Games won, 6-Games lost. 0.
Lineup was as follows:
Lucid, Quigley and Mains, forwards, Lindblom, centerg Bristovf
and Pierson, guards.
Baseball has never been left out of the T. H. S. athletic schedule.
This year, we were able to make a line showing because coach Carpen-
ter had much available material. Turlock won the county league only
to lose the Central California Champiionship to Coalinga in a hotly-
contested eleven inning game.
Home Team. Opposing Team Winner.
Turlock 3 Oakdale l Turlock
" 7 Hughson l "
11 Modesto 3 "
3 Ceres 2 "
l Modesto Z Modesto
" 14 Modesto 5 Turlock
" 5 Coalinga 6 Coalinga,
Games won, 5-Games Lost, 2
Lineup-Bothun, 3bg Lucid, Zbg Roof, cg Kingery, ssg Ferguson,
cf: Curtis, lb, Humble, lf, Hultberg, rfg Lindblom, p.
Captain Kingery was our star player, both in the field and at the
bat. NN'e will you "Red" in the future. Captain-elect Ferguson played
well in the outfield. Lindblom pitched like a big leaguer, his support
losing two games for him,
With but two men entered in the County Track Meet, we had no
hopes of winning, but they showed their caliber by both placing.
Cilfford, a, freshman, tok second place in the mile and half mile
races in the unlimited class. He looked like a great Brunner. Tomlin
placed second in the 120 division. VVhat Turlock needs is a track and
perhaps she would then make a showing.
REPORT OF 1918-1919 SEASON.
Owing to the influenza epidemic, athletics was stunned from the
start. No league games were played, so Turlock contented herself with
a few pick up games in order to make a team for next year.
Many new players responded to the "call to colors" and showed
some real pep. Among these were Ferguson, physically light, but a
weighty player. Humble and Lewis played well on the second. But
Pierson stood out as Turlock's best bet at guard. Fowler, Luicid and
johnson showed class in throwing goals and worked well at forward.
Captain Curtis played his usual star game.
Lineup-Forwards, Fowler, johnson and Lucidg Center, Captain
Curtisg guards, Pierson, Ferguson and Humble.
Home Team. Opponents. Winner.
Turlock 47 Tracy 15 Turlock
" 33 Tracy 10 "
" 3 Hughson 18 "
' 15 Oakdale 15
' 28 Lodi 25
' 42 Oakdale 28
' 48 Denair 14
Games won, 6-Games lost,1.
Home Team. Opponents. Winner.
Turlock 15 Irwin City 4 Turlock
" 7 Madera 8 Madera
" 14 Chowchilla 2 Turlock fseven inningsj
9 Tracy 3 "
Games won, 3-Lost 1-Pct. 750
Lineup-Kraft, lfg Lucid, Zbg Humble, cfg Borden, pg Pierson, rf:
Ferguson, lbg S. Strader, ss: Fowler, 3bg Brockway, Substitute.
With but live men entered in the county track meet at Modesto
we had no hopes of winning. Turlock did well to place.
Clifford. our star, showed his heels to all in the mile, winning by
over a hundred yards. besides breaking the county record. 'llomlin
placed third in the same event. "Red" XX'allstrom. who has the makin"
of a great runner in the future, placed third in the half mile, 'llurlock's
cry is still, "Give us a track and we may do something: tratk mer
cannot be made on paved roads."
--LELAND CURTIS. 20.
W, f ' A, fs
xg T lr, .
September of this year saw the organiza-
tion of the Girls' Cadets. Hf course there's
a reason for giving the girls military drill.
lt is this way. The boys had had drill quite
a long time when they.as Cadets. and the
girls, as Red Cross nurses. were asked to
march in a parade. Xow. because the girls
did not know how to do "Squads right," and
because they "disgraced the boys." the femin-
ine part' of the 'l'. H. S. was mobilized, or
rather, let us say. was given the privilege of
heconnng a military organization.
of course. on the first day there was a grand scramble to "Fall in,"
'llhat was the first of many more times of lining up. and the occasion
for many utterances of the phrases. f'No talking in ranks!" and
.X number of meetings was held for the purpose of deciding n
uniforms. But dear reader, if we have learned to march and keep still
at the same time, one reform has been accomplished. No one hundred
and ten girls could decide on one uniform, and be perfectly satisfied
.-Xt any rate. when the flu came, we rather forgot about uniforms.
lYe were divided into two companies. the "big company" and the
"little company." More properly we are known as the companies "A"
and "B," respectively.
n At first Lieutenant Roberts and Captain Blucker, under the direc-
tion of Major Carpenter, drilled the two companies. When drill was
resumed after the influenza epidemic, Captain Blucker had enlisted,
but Selah Pereira had returned from S. A. T. C, Company "B" then
wasildrilled by Captain Pereira. Both officers have been assisted by
Major Quigley. '
Then came the time when Mr. Carpenter appointed officers from
among the girls. They are Ruth Stewart, Captaing Leota Gilliland,
First-Lieutenantg Dorothy Alquist, Second-Lieutenantg and Dorris
Since these appointments were made, we have been drilled by our
own officers. We think our'Captain a very capable one, and under her
direction we have drilled very successfully. just ask the people who
Watched us drill on May Day what they think about the Girl Cadets.
' We think we have profited by our soldierly efforts. We think we
have learned to march in files and without talking. We ought to have
mastered "Heads Up!" and "Shoulders back"' we even keep step
without laughing. All in all, we have enjoyed and profited by our new
forrnuof exercise. I
D, -f'Com'pan5-ee-ee l Dismissed!"
' A -D. A, A., 'l9.
lznnzz mu 'nwvtn'
Organized under the laws of the State of California, the military
department holds forth as the largest organization in the Turlock Union
High School. The Two-Hundred Forty-First and Two-Hundred Forty-
Second Companies of California High School Cadets, stationed at Tur-
lock, constitute a battalion.
During the past term the Cadets have undergone a thorough
training and are now ready for any inspection that may come from the
officials at Sacramento. Although the Cadets have been unable to
obtain rifles and proper equipment, they have been drilling faithfully
and are now reaping the reward of their work by showing the people
uf Turlock what a real Cadet organization is.
The big event of the season was the May Day Festival held on the
High School Campus in which the Cadets took an active part. The
two companies held competitive drill. Company A used platoon move-
ments and Company B used squad movements.
In the late crisis those Cadets who felt it their duty to answer
their country's call found their training in the military department of
great aid to them, as this training was officially recognized.
The present Cadet officers are:
Major, Robert Quigley, Lieutenant-Quartermaster, Elmer Hanseng
Lieutenant-Adjutant, Albin Larson, Sergeant-Major, Howard Con-
verse, Color-Sergeant, Perry McPherreng 24lst Companyg Captain,
Selah Pereirag First-Lieutenant,'Fred Johnston, Second-Lieutenant,
Carl Ahlberg. 242nd Company: Captain, Leland Curtisg First Lieu-
tenant, Charles Roberts, Second-Lieutenant, Jack Tomlin.
-HAROLD HJELM, '21.
ce ' 'I
ITHI JL'T music the world would cease to turn and without music
T. H. S. would cease to be. This is easily proved by what T.
ll, S. has done this year and last year in her tield of music. With the
sturdy leadership of Mr, XX'illiams, who has been with us this year.
we have launched our school on a musical sea of success, and if wc
are fortunate enough to have one so learned in musical spheres with
us next year. T. H. S. will not rank less than hrst in the standard of
This year we can boast of a lirst-class concert which was given at
the Methodist Church on March 28. XYith our girls' glee club of some
eighty voices, and our several organizations of boys' double quartettc.
chorus of mixed voices. etc., we rendered in song the life and spirit
of T. H. S. The only criticism left to offer is that we did not have
a large auditorium in which to give the concert. It its the hope of
T. H. S. that such a blessing will soon be provided.
Besides our many vocal organizations, T. H, S. has developed a
real orchestra and a regular band. They both showed by their May
llay exhibition that they had all the necessary "jazz," T. H. S. is
proud of her musical organizations, and we hope that next year we
shall even broaden in this capacity.
There must be. moreover, 'some worthy credit given to the musical
life of T. H. S. last year. VVith. the efficient and progressive Miss
Barnard, twho was also talented in dramatic linesj as our musical
instructor we gave a worthy presentation, the operetta, "The Nautical
Knotf, The proceeds of this went to the Red Cross. Besides the
operetta. the girls' glee sang at other places during the year, and at
the big War Rally meetings held at the Swedish Mission church.
The friends and patrons of T. H. S., as well as her loyal sons and
daughters. may well feel grateful for this active and efficient depart-
ment. DORIS OLSON, '2O.
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This year we can hardly say we have had an exchange department,
ltecanse Turlock lligh School did not pulmlish "'l'he Alert" last year.
lieing a very patriotic school, T. ll, S. gave all her funds to support
war activities instead --i using' them to print "The ,'Xlert"A-hence we
hav e lveen unalile to make any exchanges, llovvever, we appreciate the
mt-urtesy shown Us hy other schools in sending their annuals to us.
Xl e assure you we will do our part next year in this respect.
.-Xml-ng the papers received are:
"The 'l'orch," Martinez, Californiaflve admire the dedication of
your annual to the soldier boys: a good paper from a good school.
"Mission," Ripon. L'aliforniaf+X neat little hook with a good start.
hut why lose the "Calendar" in the advertisements?
"'l'okay," Lutli, Califtvrnia-sYour cover design is excellent. 'llhe
lwest paper in our exchanges and ahove criticism.
"l.as Memorial' lleuair. Califoruiag"Un the whole your paper
is a splendid one. lt is well arranged and your snapshots are good.
"XN'ild Cat." Los llatos, California- .X well arranged paper with
a splendid literary department. .X few more snapshots would make
a lvetter lmalanced annual.
"The Hriolef' Campbell. California- IM you always use so many
advertisements? Un the whole. however, we enjoyed your publication.
We have received numerous weekly papers from schools through-
out the state. 'llhank you-we enjoy them. They are fine, live papers
Vile have received requests for exchanges from a large numhei
oi progressive high schools and hope to do our part next year.
-C. A. AND if. J., '19,
THE automobile repair work is a new -department for T. U. H. S.,
which has been added this year. It has been a great success under
the guidance of Mr. McCrea,dy t"Mac"j. All knowledge gained in this
department has been very practical, Qfor it has been learned by experi-
ence rather than by studying booksj.
The boys have not only learned auto repairing, but have in fact,
made the shop, for at the beginning of the year there was no place to
work. However, this lack of room was soon remedied, for the boys
went to work remodeling the old building formerly used for black-
smithing and manual trai-ningg pits were dug, machinery installed, and
very instructive and interesting work begun. -
This department was the only one of the school which was not
temporarily suspended on account of the "flu," for the auto repair
classes met every day, in small sections. i
Almost every make of car has been brought into our shop to be
repaired. Not only have the boys learned how to do this workg but
they have a very enviable record, which any shop might be proud of,
for never has a car come back with the work unsatisfactorily done.
We have aimed also to help the community by having night classes
for the friends and patrons of the school. Thirty-five people have
taken advantage of this opportunity of learning repair work from our
instructor, Mr. McCready. These night classes have received practic-
ally the same instruction and experience that the day classes have.
The work in both divisions has included general overhauling, putting
in new parts, adjustments of all kinds, grinding valves, extensive
radiator and vulcanizing work, and special electrical instruction-in
fact whatever repairing is needed on any car from a "Ford" to a
Having reported at length on the work done in the shop, let's have
just a'word about our efficient and popular instructor, Mr. McCready.
He is just as fine a man as he seems and looks-and just as jolly. This
is the first impression he makes and it'is not momentary, for the longer
you know him the more firmly do' you admire and respect him.
It is to this man, who is aifectionately known around the campus
and in the shop, as "Mac," that the auto repair department owes its
great success. Nine big ones for "Mac"! !
-JOHN ROBERTS, '2l.
SSV13 dlVd3H O.l.nV
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Boy in Civics: Now they :ire plzinniug Ll telcgrzlpli system umlcr
Mr. C1ll'lClltCl'I "lf that's the case. we'll have to have receivers iii
our shoes." '
if if bk Pk
HUXY M.-XNY FEET ll.XS PRENTISS?
Vrentiss: "1 woke' up one night :mil one foot was colfl :tml one
was hot, one was asleep and the other was not."
bk ik vs: bk
Miss Reed in Ent". Il :".'Xfter Cassius' clezlth, why was he called the
last of the Romans?"
Elmer S: "Because that was the last of him."
-0: X ar wk
XYHAT IS A CIRCLE?
.lolmny Roberts in Geometry: ".-X circle is ll round straight line
with a hole in the middle."
A -- mf : .-. ..... .
The telephone, it is said, is not progressing much in Russia, and
no wonder. Imagine a man going to the phone and shouting,
"I-Iello! Is that you, Deusostkwchwooyski?"
No, it is Quoliensehonskaffinvoiktifowf'
"I want to know if Xlefernmaskellmujwiheuttonskswabierski is still
stopping with -Ivesvstkerchsemrvvoikf'
lv- lo- 1- Pk
. THE STUDY HALL SLIGHTLY DISTURBED.
Fred johnston is seen whispering to Helen Conner, which is of
course, very disturbing to those who care to study.
Miss Grant to the rescue in a shrill voice: "Freddie!"
Fred: "Ma'm, my name is Fritz."
. lk -sf -sf 4- -
- GIRLS, BEWARE OF MR. CARPENTER!
Mr. C, Qspeaking of diamondsj: "If you want to get rid of a
woman, just tell her you won't buy her a diamond. I'm not going to
spend any money on diamonds."
4- if 4- 4-
Quigley, '19: "Fergy, what did you get for an answer to the
problem about the pressure on the dam ?"
Ferguson, '19: "I haven't done the dam problem."
all Fl' 41 Ili
People are classed into three different classes-men, women and
4- 4- 4- 4-
, Carpenter in History IV: "If they can put liquor out they can
put women suffrage in."
. -4- 4- ik 1-
Miss Olson giving sentences for paragraphs.
1. Selecting the site.
2. Building it for future generations.
R. Boner finterruptingj: "Uon't forget to put the board on."
4- 1- wr 4- I
Goodie Coceupying r1isle,. "Dale, you'll have to go around if you
want to get by,"
l Dale: "What do you think you are, the boss of the road P"
Goodie: "Sure" '
Dale: "That's so. I have seen your picture on overalls."
lo5T N0 LIMS
Jn-,5 wh0lE qANg
5., ARL-dsc Nerve
Margaret S.: "Oh!"
Leland L.: "What's the matter?"
Margaret: "I've got a pain in my heart."
as at wr wk
Dale: "I hear footsepts approaching in a Ford."
at :tr it 4
Mr. Carpenter ttalking of poor-housesj: "They aren't so bad. I
'vvouldn't mind livin in one m self." '
4: 4: if an
PICTURES NO ARTIST CAN PAINT
Della Brooks as a toe-dancer.
Elmer Hansen on stilts.
Norman Humble with straight hair.
Helen C. without Perry. '
Adolph Piedmonte as Major of the Cadets.
Bertha Pierce and Wells Hively in a scene from "Romeo and
Violet Olson a speaker in Congress.
E. Adams on good terms with Miss Grant.
Robert Quigley and Cheryl Penwell starring in the "Mid-night
Follies of 19l9."
Miss Reed forgetting the "Independent"
wk ao- wk in
First Boy: "Do you know what subjects Piedmonte signed up for
next year?" '
Second Boy: "No, do you ?"
First Boy: "Typing and Domestic Science."
lk fr ir an
A SAD ENTANGLEMENT.
Mr. C. in History IV: "Explain why the dangers from intoxicants
become more apparent with our more complex machinery."
Viola J.: "I guess they get tangled up in it."
af at 4: 4:
THEY VVONDER WHY WOMEN HATE THE DRAFT.
Dale O.: "They've had us double timing in the same place for
half an hour."
Miss Reed QEnglish III.j: "If she had written that, of course she
would never have said it."
Bk in wr lk
james H.: "This is a fine large day."
1 THE VVET-VVASH RETURNED.
Mr. Martin Qushering in Emil j. and Elmer S. to Eng. II, who
are always late on acocunt of having to wash up after taking auto-
repairj: "Miss Reed, here is the wash."
4: wa wk :-
p XVHAT'S A KISS?
Mr Kyle in Biology: "Pepper is a sensation."
juene C.:"If pepper is a sensation, what's a kiss."
' 4: It 4 ar
'All scholars troubled with night-horses hang a halter on your
as 4 4- af '
R' Miss Coleman in Study Hall, tapping on desk: "Order, Order."
43vjElfiie Delbon: "Ham and eggs, please."
' J' . 4? lk if wk i i
V? SPEAKING OF COMPARISONS A
.- Carpenter: "General Lee was a line lookingpman, who wore
a well made uniform which fitted him perfectly, while Grant wore a
at ls sf fu
-- I 'Lois Childs: "1 just had an Hex'
up Dale Owen: "What did you make in it?"
1 Lois Childs: "An ex-it."
1' at 4: ar if
RATHER BRILLIANT. ,
F -'Frent. F.: "He spoke what he thought without thinking."
at xv 4- :-
WHERE WAS RUTH THE NIGHT BEFORE?
Mri Carpenter: "Ruth, what is a party caucus?"
i.Ruth S. Qrather idreamilyj: "It's a secret meeting where they
elect the floor-manager for the party."
' 4 4 4: li
Miss Reed to Class: "Read also, 'Breakl Break! Break 1' "
Prentiss Qjust waking upjz "VVell, I'm broke."
. 1 4 af 4-
' A STUDY OF PSYCHOLOGY.
Once there was a boy whose father and mother were very cross.
The"boy went to high school and college and studied psychology. In
later years when his father and mother became childish and cross, he
would use what he had learned. His psychology had taught him the
psychological moment to speak to them.
- I -ELLEN DWYER, '23.
H o fro D Q.
F rr ' 'fr " 'Rf' ' 'V' " 'I' '
TALK ABOUT WIT.
Chick Qcracking a joke in S. HQ: "Over in Ireland, two Fords
were passing each other. lVhat time was it?"
No one seemed to be able to guess it, so Chick said: "Tin past
wo: a: 1: zo:
A BIT OF POETRY.
Some young men are "skeered" of mothers,
Not their own, but those of others.
It happened one Sunday eve in May,
XVhen every one was feeling gay,
A young man with a stately stride
VVent with his sweetheart for a ride.
Space and time both quickly passed,
He looked at his watch, 'twas twelve and past!
She said, "It's getting awfully late
VVe must hurry back at a faster rate."
They found themselves at home once more,
Sally said, "Good night," andgwalked through the door.
I-Ie met the girl next day at school,
She told him there of ma's new rule.
A young man is now afraid of a mother-
Nothis own, but that of another.
s: 4: s: 1:
In English room, fDoris O. with an arm around Helen CJ: Maude:
"This is an English room, not a mushroon fmj.
4: 4: a: ik
Innocent boy to a girl: "What kind of a soul is a camisole ?"
fa: -o: 1: we:
SNATCHES FROM ENG.III.
johnny Roberts explaining a scene: "They slept all of Act 3, and
chased each other around the forest."
wo: 1: w: x
WHAT CAN SHE MEAN?
Miss Grant to Mr. Lawson: "You're the most popular man in
Mr. C. in Civics: "NVho is our assemblyman?"
Helen Regar: "Miss Broughton."
-Y. Y , . ,lv,FT,,Y.v .
IS IT POETRY OR PROSE?
There are girls with curls, , .
And curls with girls, ,
But the curliest curls I ever saw curled
Are Curliels curls.
4: 4: 4: 4:
BOB'S FAVORITE ANIMAL.
Freshie: f'Bob, what's your pet animal?"
Bob Qemphaticallyj: "Camel, of course."
- lk 4: 4: 4:
' Mrs. Wanaer: "Ivan, please give me the personal pronoun, third
person, Singular number, feminine gender."
- Ivan: "Nom, She, Obj. her, Poss. him."
I I. - 4: 4: ik 4:
T ' OH! GIRLS!
A Mps. Wanzerz. "Do you think the girl was right' by staying in the
tower, instead of going with her lover?"
i' Fredf ."No! I don't. You wouldn't catch me staying in an
Qld fogwer when I could see anyipretty girls."
4: 4: 4: 4:
. PURE PHILOSOPHY.
, Havinga Carpenter and a Plumber on our faculty, it seems that
we should be getting a new high school a little more -speedily than
we are. '
- . 4: 4: if 4:
' ENGLISH IV
Miss Reed: "From every paper which was not completed in time,
I deducted 20 per cent."
' Prent, F.: "What if we got zero?"
I Reuben N.: "20 below zero, you nut.".
' 4: 4: 4: 4:
' WHAT CAN HE MEAN?
Carpenter Cdiscussing conditions at states prisonj: "I don't know
about this matter as I haven't been in' State's prison for years."
.' -' 4:44:4-
SPEAKING OF LIPS.
Effie Con-vers to. ,Lee Curtis: "You have such beautiful lips, they
should'be'on'a girl." ' A
L. Curtis:-"I seldom miss the opportunity."
112 AVMENIRN l3UNf.h
PEEKQ b QUEEN o
So Sv dd. nuff!
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Mr. Martin: "XYl1zu maclc yuu late?"
Hansen. 'Wi "ScImul began before 1 gut here,"
as ik Pk if
Robert ltalking of picturesj: "I had tb pay S11 a dwzen ft
ue, :tml they were rotten."
Mr. C: "Maybe it was the subject."
YY if 4: uf
XYho is the Goddess of Discm'd????
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New code of laws laid down. In the future-Xlatch the
clock! V . ' K- 5
20-Cadet inspection. NVe wonder why the gym is so clean.
21-Lodi's baseball team visits Turlock, "Carp's smiles" tell the
tale. . Q
24-The prodigal returns-Hip Hooray for Miss Reed! V .
25-Mr. Ratzell almost QFJ refuses a wandering powder puff-
knowing that Dean Martin reigns over such cosmetics.
27-Alert! ! l . .
28-Musical concert by glee club-Big success.
4-Great uproar among boys at student body meeting when
Doris Eddy meekly announces the girls' willingness to make
the boys' baseball suits in the domestic science department.
11-Monson lecture-"Turbulent Mexico" under the auspices of
junior College proves a, great success. i
18-"Starve One Day"-not as interesting as it sounds ibut the
efforts of the students helped exceedingly in increasing the
Armenian and Syrian Relief Fund. i
24-NVonder why all the seniors are headed toward the photo
P8-Cheer up, Seniors! you are not so "bad" looking after all.
28-"My Experiences Across the Pond"-an oversea talk by
Milton Helsley of Ceres.
29-Cards !-Pupils joyousf PD
1-Embarrassment among boys-Caught carrying dress forms
over the campus CDomestic Science exhibit the following'
dayj . i
2-May Day at T. H. S.
7-Miss Colema,n's brother, Captain Coleman, arrives from over-
seas. Great excitement among the lady members of the
9-VVhy are all the Senior girls wearing mistletoe? Poor boys! l
20-Powder fight in girls' basement. VVhat gallant solidersthe
girls would make.
5-Review in everything-then exams.. and then vacation.
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- - , - Berkeley
I 3 'vnuperm gg- 5, V'-H' r'-iavrvvg-:.jmfw ..f
Greene, Adda 1Mrs. Elginj--- -
Nicholauson. Elda LTeacherj ..... ----
Snider, Myrtle .. .................. ----
Anderson, Clara LMrs. Chester Milisj ....
"Anderson, joseph gTeacherj ............. ---
- --- La Grange
Beardsley, Eunice ..,.,,.,.................... .... T empe, AI'iZOl1El
Berlin, Harold 1North XYestern Universityj .... .......... C hicago
Carlqnist, Ellen gMrs. Ernest Forsmarkj .... ......... T ul'l0Ck
Claes, Ruth -rdookkeeperi ......,..... . --- ......... Tl1rl0Ck
Dorris, Yeryl gMrs. R. A. Hallj ..... .... Eldora, Iowa
Ellis, Elizaoeth ...................... .... S an Francisco
Hollingsworth, Mildred QTeacherj ...... .......... D enair
Lindholm, Alice ................T.......... ....... '1 iurlock
Mains, Kathleen gMrs, Chesley Osbornp .... .
McCart, Margaret ................ -. ......
Menzies, Winifred QTeacherj.
Mills, Ida QTeacherj ..........
Mills, Chester QPostofficej .... ..... H emet
Osborne, jesse tBakerj ......... - ....... ..... S tockton
"Rapp, Carl P. Dr. QDentistj ............... .... T urlock
Turner, Myrtye tMrs. Clifford McCarterl--- .... Madeline
Vary, Ruth QMrs. jesse Osbornej ....... .... S tockton
VVhite, Fern- 1Mrs. E. S. Squirej ....... ..... I owa
Baxter, Annie QMrs. George johnsonj ..... .... T urlock
Brier, Pearl QTeacherj ............ --- .... Berkeley
Claes, Naomy ............. .... T urlock
Coonradt. Ernest QRancherj--- ...... Fresno
Douglas, Ellen .............. .... B erkeley
Ellis, Harold .................. ..... T urlock
Farwell, Vida fMrs. VVesternj ...... ..... M odesto
Greene, Emma CMrs. F. A. Krausej .... .... S an jose
Hinkson, Eva QMrs, Frank Steffmanj--- ..... Modesto
Horne, Erma QBookkeeperj -.- ............. .... T urlock
"'Hultman, Reinhold QElectrical Schoolj-- ..... Oakland
Kersey, Myrtis tPost Officej ............. ..... B erkeley
Larson, Lillie QTeacherJ ................... ....... T urlock
"Lee, Clifford fClifford Stationery Storej .... ........... T urlock
Lundell, Ruth ............................ .... S an Francisco
McCart, Lucien ........................ ..... S anta Cruz
,wi . .
TMLCTCSTY, Aaron ..............,.. .... T empe, Arizona
NO!'t0l1, Charlotte tMrs. VVhitej ..... ..,.....,, S tockton
Olson, Ruell ................ ...... .... L 0 Angeles
Peterson, Ethel QTeacherj ...,,,..,,....,
Ross, Lurena, tMr's. joe G. Andersonj .... ..... T urlock
Schattenberg, Otto ..................... ,.,, T ui-lock
Schorer, Bernice -- ,,.., ,,,, T urlock
Vaughn, Zora .... ...-.,,,, ..,, T u flock
"Bates, john ....................... .... L os Angeles
Bevans, Margaret tBookkeeperj -- ....... Turlock
Bothun, Mabel tBookkeeperj ........... - .... ..... T urlock
Carlson, Esther tBookkeeperj ................ .....
"'Cunningham, Grant lUniversity of California. 191 ......... Berkeley
Falk, Ellen ................................. - ....
---- ..... Turlock
Hale, Erma i.TeacherJ ..................................... Turlock
"'Hohenthal, W'illia,m fUniversity of California. 'l9j
Hollingsworth, Ci1I'1Stl11C ............................ -----Denair
Jaderberg, Gail QTeacherJ .............. .... T urlock
Johnson, Emma QMrs. E. Mowyerll ..... .... T urlock
Klein, Reba fStenographerj ........... .... T urlock
Lewis, Hallie ............... ..... M odesto
"Pratt, William ......a.... ..... D enair
Riifel, Sarah fChinaj .... ..... T urlock
"Swanson, Carl QFarmerj .... ....... T urlock
Whittlesey, Clara QTeacherj -- .... Livingston
Woehl, Esther ............ ..... ........... T u rlock
Wren, Agnes QFilm Co.j .... ......... ..... S a n Francisco
"'Aurell, Alvin -- .................... .... C amp Lewis
Betts, Emma. -
"Bergstrom, Bernard CRancherj---
Bostrum, Amy QBookkeeperJ ....
Bostrum, Emily fBookkeeperj ---
Carlquist, Agnes tBookkeeperJ ---
Carson, Hazel QDeceasedj.
'Chatom fRancherj ......
"Cole, Edgar ...................
"Cooper, Paul CRancherj .......................
- -- -Turlock
Dwight, Vivian QMrs. john Reedj ..-.-.-....--.----.-.. Long Beach
Erickson. Adeline fUniversity of California, 'l9j -..- ------ B erkeley
Erickson, Alice fTeacherj .---.-.---.-..-. -..-..--...--..- T urlock
"'Gowanlock, Charles .-...-...-.-... -- .... San Francisco
.V .. l qwi. V ,,
Hagstrom, Eleanor QStenographerj -- ..........., -Oakland
Hester, Vella tState Normal Schoolj ..... ..... C edar Falls, Iowa
Lewis, Hazel QTeacherj .................................... Turlock
Lindblom, Florence Ulniversity of lNashingtonj--
"'Merman, George ......-..........,..........
Nystrom, Florence tStenographerj ....
"Newman, Theodore LRancherj ....
"'Ocken, Eric tFarmerj ...........
Porterfield, Madge LTeacherj ......
'Ross, Clare fFrancej ............................
Sale, Elizabeth QMrs. W. B. Carlinj ..............
"Stagg, Samuel fUniversity of Southern Cal., '19j
- - - -'Turolck
--- - -Turlock
- - -- -Turlock
- - --Turlock
"'Spensle , Floyd .................................. ...... O akland
"'Wells, Golden QFrancej ............ .... T urlock
Baird, Helen ............................................., Turlock
"Berlin, Brooks fUniversity of Southern Calif., 'ZOQ ...... Los Angeles
"'Bothun, NValter QShip yardsj ........................
Brier, Fyrne fUniversity of California, 'ZOJ ........ ........ T urlock
"Brooks, Ralph QUniversity of Southern Cal., 'ZOQ ....--.. Los Angeles
Burrows, Ralph QFarmerj .......................... Alberta, Canada
Curtice, Annie CMrs, Christofer Mannj ....... ................ C eres
Decker, Bernice fMrs. Lynn Kingj ......,................. Turlock
Ferguson, Mary Elizabeth QCollege of Pacific, '20j
Funston, Harriet ..................................
Gaston, Winifred QMrs. Bennettj ........... --- .... Washington
Heckman, Elma fMrs. W. C. Yarnoldj .........
"Hodges, Virgil CUniversity of Californiaj .....
"'Hosmer, Newell fUniversity of Californiaj .....
johnson, Esther CPeoples Bankj ..................
johnson, Frieda fTeacherj ..........................
Ornberg, Edyth fBookkeeperJ ...........-..........
"Osborn, Jack fUniversity of Californiaj ..........
"'Leedom, Tinley fAss't Merced Co. Farm Advisory
"Riley, Robert CFranceJ ........................
Roberts, Lillian CCollege of Pacific, 'ZOJ ...........
"'Schier, Samuel fUniversity of California, 'ZOQ .....
"Shaffer, Harry fHolt Mfg. Co.j ...................
"Thompson, Hollis CUniversity of Redlands, 'ZOJ ....
W'olfe, Lola fBusiness Collegej ..................
Ralph Ayres Martin QMascotj
"Anderson, Paul fRa,ncherJ .............. - .......
- - ---Turlock
-- -San jose
- - -- Berkeley
-- - - -Turlock
Bacon. Stacy tjunior Collegej .....
TBOIICF, VYayne tRancherj .........
Carlson, Mildred QStenographerj --
Carlquist, Augusta QStenographerj----
Chappell, Alice tjunior Collegej ....
Cross, Paul Q-R8l1Cl'lCl'l ..........
"'Curtice, George ........ ---
"'Curtice, Urlo ...... ---
Erickson, Annie tBookkeeperj ........
- - - - -Turlock
--- - San Francisco
"'Fariss, NVilliani QRantherAl ...,................... .... M ontana
Goodrich, Clifford Qljniversity of California, 'ZH ..... .... B erkeley
Hohenthal, Helen QUniversity of California, 'llj
Hultberg, Albia QSan .lose Normal, 'l9j ........... ..
-, - -San jose
"'johnson, Carl Uunior Collegej ........... --- ..... Turlock
"'-jones, Harold .................... 4............ ..... T u rlock
jorgenson, Esther Qjunior Collogey .................. ..... T urlock
Kline, Anna Margaret tUniversity of Californiafllj .... .... B erkeley
Lewis, Alberta QBookkeeperVl- ....................... ..... T urlock
"'MtMurry, Harold .............. - ............... ..... S an jose
McNinch, Mary COccidental College, '21j---
"'McN1nch, Wllliani ...................... Los Angeles
Merman, Gladys LStenographerJ .... -- ..... Turlock
"Mills, George QFrancej .......... ..... T urlock
Morrison, Cora fBookkeeperj ........ ---Turlock
Nelson, Ethel fNurseJ ..-.---.....-.------ ..-. O akland
Niman, Harriet fFresno Normal, 'l9J ...- ..-- 1' 'resno
Olson, Mabelle -------.----....-..-.--- ---Turlock
"Olson, Milton -------------------..---- -.-- ----. T u rlock
"Patterson, Myrl ..---------.----..----.------- --.-- T urlock
"Pierson, Alvin CUniversity of California, '22J ...-- ---- B erkeley
Regar, Izillah Qjunior Collegej -------.-.--...-.. .---. T urlock
Samuelson, Esther fStenographerJ ---.-.-.---- - ..-- Oakland
Schattenburg, Erna CChico Normal, '19l ..-...---. ..----- C hico
Schendel, Leona fUniversity of California, 'ZIJ ----- ---- B erkeley
Schendel, Wilma fUniversity of California, '21j -.--. ---. B erkeley
"Sinclair, Arthur fRancherJ --..-.-.-.....-..... .---. T urlock
"Sinclair, Robert tRancherj .-.--.--.---..--.... ..... T urlock
Sutherland, Robert ---.------. - ---.. ...- M odesto
Swager, Alcy fMrs. Wm. Bergl --.---.- .--. ---.. T u rlock
Swenson, Valerie. fBookkeperl -.----..-..-..--.
Vartanian, Araxie QStanford University, '21l ---- ---
Ahlberg, Helga --- ..... ----
- - Palo Alto
- - - - -Turlock
- --- , - -U, 1.1--r -uw v-v-4,'1f-e-v-no--71--gvrv
Anderson, Sybil .,.,..,,,,,,- ,------
Balldy, Alldria fllteacherj ,---,,------,,
Berlin, Elizabeth QCollege of Pacilicj .....
"Bristow, james lRancherj ....
Bronner. Edna QNursej .......
'lBurman, Burton .......,,...,,, -
Carlson, Amy Q-Iunior Collegej ....
"Chance, Oliver ..........,..- -
"Chance, Harold ....,,-,,,,,,,,,,
Conner, Aletha QBookkeeperj .....
Curtis, Amy QNLIFSC, .,.,,,,-,,,, ,
Dahlin, jennie QBusiness Collegel ....
"'Emminger, Frank CU. S. N.j ....... -
Ford, Helen QRedlands Universityj---
Garner, Mabel QBookkeeperJ ........
"Gilliland, Amos QFrancej ..........
Hammonds. Laura Uunior Collegej ....
Hathaway, Mabel ..................
Hultberg, Hilmar fRancherJ .......
Johnson, Agnes fStenographerj ....
"'Kingery, Edgar QT. I, DJ .........
Kingery, Hilda ................
Larson, Elfie fStenographerQ .....
Larson, Ruth .....................
Leedom, Helen .....................
McNinch, Ruth fOccidental Collegej ....
"'McVey, Ralph fRancherj ............
Mills Jessie ........................
"Newman, Arthur fRancherl ....... -
Nystrom, Paul fjunior Collegej ....
Ofelth. Ebba ...................
Ogden. Carmen -- ----
Owen, Cliffie .... -- ..... --
"'0ver, Alvin ......................... -
Robert, Mary Kate fjunior Collegel ....
Shields, Esther ......................
"'Soclerquist, Reuben fRancherl ........
VVheeler, Nova fCollege of Pacilicl ..... --
'Alumni who have been in service.
-- - - - -Turlock
- - - --Stockton
- ...... Denair
- - - -Turlock
- - - -Turlot k
- - - -Turlock
-- - -Turlock
- --San jose
- - - - - -Turlock
--- - - Los Angeles
- -- - - -Turlock
- -- -Turlock
-- - - - -Turlock
I 'mi f. -'a1u1'44i,c1fA:7"r: :1am'1f,:f,:1'v.'f1.1vfrf'7c4 at w1"'..1:1'r4:' 11411114 F1 1' .1 ri- A :ifw III:-.-am: faxxzvzhxl 1 'Inu . 1- '
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Q WA' 'LQ' N 'RG
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U N U R
Roll of Students
Orlena Lee Garner
Anna Margaret Kline
Mary Kate Roberts
l T ,,
l al ll S
.Xt the beginning ul the
lzall semester, ll meeting ul
the .lunior U-llege students
was hehl lor the purpose ul
choosing' :1 form ul governw
ment :xml the ollicers there-
ol. .lnlong the plans sug-
gested was the t'onimission
I-'orm ul' llovernment. This
plain, provimling for three ile-
pzirtments, - was chosen, :incl
t he l h i' e e emmnissioners
were elected. , They were
l'ommissionei' of gxlllllllllii-
tration, Elizzilmeth Roherlsg
k'ommissione1' of liinance..
liurl tlzilmerel and Commis-
sioner of Social .'Xctivities,
Orlena Garner. lt was soon
lonnml necessary to elect :I
new Commission ,of Iii-
nance, since Earl Gaherel
discontinued his studies :it
the junior College, Carl
johnson was chosen in his
place. Each l'UI'l'lI11'l..SSl5,JIl6Il
is airlerl in his -Wnrk,.lgyA:1
committee of students. ,Ev-
ery student in the Junior
College is a memher of Z1
committee 1 thus :ill work
tosfetliei' in :i truly co-operzv
tive government. ,
The junior College
THE Turlock junior College was founded at the beginning of the
fall terml9l7 with an enrollment of eighteen students. XfVhen it
began its second year of work in the fall of 1918 the number of
students enrolled had increased to twenty-two. This was gratifying,
indeed, to the founders of the,scbool, for it showed that the junior
College was appreciated by the students of Turolck and vicinity as a
solution of the long-felt problem of higher education.
The larger universities have favored the junior College movement
as it has helped to solve the problem of crowded conditions. Both
the University of California and Stanford accept without examination
thoseistudentsv who have completed the tW0-year course at the junior
College. Thus a student may remain at home and complete two years
of college work without loss of credits or inconvenience.
The Turlock junior College offers a splendid general course. ln
English, the first year is devoted to Exposition and Argumentation,
together with a great deal of outside reading, while in the second year
the novel and drama are studied. In history, two courses, Western
American and Modern European, are offered. In the Foreign Lan-
guage Departtnent, two-year courses of Latin, Frence and Spanish are
offered, Mathematics is given for those who wish it. The Logic class
has .been one of the favorites in the college. In the Science Depart-
ment, Botany and Chemistry are taught, Physical Training-one may
choose either .Military Drill, Gymnasium or Tennis-completes the
The junior College naturally does not enjoy the complete college
life a Aimiversity does. But it does enjoy a most intimate feeling of
friendship. Being operated together with the High School, the junior
College avails itself of hearing all the speakers who come to the High
School. However, the junior College 'has sponsored one lecturer this
year, Dr. Frederick Monsen of the University of California, who gave
a most enjoyable lecture enttled "Turbulent Mexico." The greater
part of the proceeds was given to the Armenian-Syrian Relief. The
junior College is proud to add that it has a one hundred per cent Red
Heretofore, the junior College has been hampered by lack of room
and equipment. It is looking forward to the time, when, completely
equipped, it will be able to meet every demand of students and of the
ll , u P
bomb" bvnch Madame Curie ' 1?
- - - M411-1
Sneak Ddyf Q'
All skirts? Ourqbashful Dean
-l A month after the Junior
, College commenced, on the
' O C' I 9 night of October 4, the
So phom ores gave the
Ulfreshies' 'a reception. Al-
I' though the lfreshmen were
overjoyed at having so
' much kindness and distinc-
tion tendered them, all had
a lurking fear that there
would be some initiation at-
,', A ', 1 tached to it. But the Soph-
GTKY omores had no such cruel
I intentions, and in s t e a fl
.-.il treated them royally.
H ' 'RX I? V Soon afterxyards, the epi-
i T ' - demic ot the influenza came
l ,if on. The college was closed
' N' H Q. 'nh for a considerable length of
"J mar, , time. XX'hen college reopen-
J, . T e 1 T ed and we resumed ultl'
,, ll' -xy Q X ' x ,f V studies, we were loo busy lu
4 n i ix 3 think of social affairs. .Xl-
'b : - 'N ter the first semester and
il 5 - L the tinals were over. we be-
il fl g N gan to think of our annual
X ,5 0 N T banquet. On the evening of
,S X X N, V Mart-it 21, it took pmt-t-.
' fi 'X Those present, besides the
l Q 5 , E students, were the faculty
T i X- vdil f " X N and the trustees.
X N 'ij .Xs our junior College has
X .Aff the commission form of
, ' t,H.H goveriilnellt, the students
thought that they would employ the use of thc initiative. An assembly
was held. The matter for discussion was a "Sneak Day" to La firangfe
Dam. The vote was unanimous in its favor, Quick action was taken.
and on the next day many ol the teachers had fewer classes. The re-
sults were gootli All enjoyed the outing andvwe clearly demonstrated
lo our Dean, Mr. Martin, that we were capable of self-govermnent.
Un May Z, the junior College was invited by one of its students.
Miss Laura Hannnonds, to a party at her home. Many amusing
games were playedg so every one spent most of his time laughing.
Afterwards we were served handsomely to strawberries and cake. A
phenomenon, I wish to add, occurred. It was found that Urlena could
and did remain quiet, without speaking a word for ten minutes by
Gas Attacks From the Science Department
Bang!! Boom!! NVhat's that??? Uh, that is only the chemistry
class in action. An organization which makes a stir quite dispropor-
tionate to its size in the Science Club. Although the representatives
of that great line of modern advance are few in number, a prominent
part of the college this year has been the Sicence Department. Miss
Hunt, the energetic instructor, has made every effort to provide us with
a sufficiency of modern apparatus.
A source of much fright to our fellow students has been several
vociferous and unexpected explosions, that have brought a rush ul
first aid sympthizersg but to date the occupants of the laboratory have
escaped with a few mino rinjuries and the grievous loss tto usp uf
quantities of apparatus.
VVc have brought down upon our unsuspecting heads dire male-
dictions as a result of the strange, pestiferous odors emitted from our
workshop. The chemically charged atmosphere was brought lu light
when one innocent student, claiming a broad understanding, set one
of his pedal extremities on a portion of the floor differing little in
appearance from the surrounding surface, But lo! A terrific rumble.
dense smoke, a peculiar odor, and a rush of terrified advisors.
We indulged in one rather novel, but truly scientific festivity.
Upon the simultaneous discoveries of sugar and mapeline. we assem-
bled our ingredients in a chemical dish, and with much ceremony
compounded a mixture designated as candy. XYe assure you that
it was good.
We are planning a visit of scientific exploration tu the Mineral
Products Company at Patterson, but we have attempted nothing so
ambitious as special scientific speakers. Hur organization is too
small to sponsor such an undertaking, but we feel that we have made
a beginning which may be developed into a lively and educational
President t,.-. ..- .,....... .. ............ William ll llnrd
Vice President .... ,,........t,.. ........ C a rl E. johnson
Secretary ,,,,,.... - ,--e-. ..c........c... Paul E, Nystrom
'Freagurei-., -,-s,,,......... .. .......,.....s.. lgerna H. Hurd
Business Manager .......,..,, ----- ..... Esther A. ,lorgenson
Bits of Humor From the Junior College
Nlr. Nlnrtiu lin lfrcucli classl: "Answer for 'yuui'self, Williaiii.
Nou will not always have Amy lrcsimlc you."
llill: "Nou vnu! always toll,
:'1 12: 3: rl:
5lllk'l'I "K Ill. l'x'c llcunl that tllc llcri' luspectoi' will be here to-
Xlicc: "'l'lu- liznir iusp0vtoi'?"
si: :ic 44 4:
k url sziys llml Mziry limo uccmls :i now Sluclelmakcr. Carl has ouel
loom XX 1lYIIt'l
:if :p :iz :ya
Hrlvuziz "Hill, will you take some morc strziwlaerrics il l do?"
Hill: "l'll stay with you as long as I can."
Urlcun: "1 lla! Bill! This is so sudden!"
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