Trinity College School - Record Yearbook (Port Hope, Ontario Canada)

 - Class of 1980

Page 17 of 168

 

Trinity College School - Record Yearbook (Port Hope, Ontario Canada) online yearbook collection, 1980 Edition, Page 17
Page 17



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Everything You Wanted to Know About Mushrooms' One of the most misunderstood issues of this century is thc mushroom. This by-product of nature has baffled scientists for thousands of years: they just didn't know what to make of it. But, over the years, people began to delve into the secrets of the mushroom and much light was thrown on this fascinating miracle of nature. And this year marks the final decade of research and experimentation on the mushroom because complete knowledge of this wonder has been attained. In order to be able to appreciate the magnitude of this great achievement we must look back to the very beginnings of research on the mushroom. lt all started some thirty thousand years ago, in what is now Asia, when Neanderthal man is known to have worshipped the mushroom. This religion, known as Mushism, spread quickly among the cavemen because it had no demands on its followers, except that they were forbidden to Eat any mushrooms. And it is from such early beginnings that we get the belief- dispelled only recently -that mushrooms aren't for eating. The Egyptians were the first to record the research done on the mushroom and it is from their studies that we get much of our knowledge of mushrooms. Their most famous mushroomologist, Almush Biroom, is credited with the discovery that not all mushrooms have the same characteristics, In his first tand onlyi experiment he ate a mushroom, dispelling all beliefs that they were poisonous. However, these beliefs became prevalent again when he died three days later. The Greeks were the next to explore the fascinating world of mushrooms. Rather than conducting experiments on them the Greeks incorporated them into their way of life. Their philosophies were mushroom-oriented, and temples were erected in honour of the Goddess of Mushrooms: Champignonia. The liberal-mindedness of these people even went so far as to invent geometry based on the mushroomg we still don't know how they did it, and perhaps this is why it is not taught in any schools. However, the Greeks' most lasting contribution to modern society is the tradition of giving a huge mushroom to the winners of the Olympic games. During the Roman era the mushroom underwent a "Dark Ages" period. They tried to make wine out of mushrooms, but it was found that they grew mouldy and the smell was unbearable. They also tried using them as a cure for cuts by placing sliced mushrooms on an open wound. This technique, however, did not always work because new mushrooms would occasionally sprout from the patients. The next breakthrough in mushology did not come until the Renaissance, when people started questioning the facts about the mushroom. Indeed, many men devoted their lives to the progress of mushology: men such as Leonardo da Mushroomi who, while tossing mushrooms in the air, discovered the parachute, and Mushelangelo, who created La Mush, the sculpture of a clump of mushrooms that has since captivated the world in its moving depiction of serenity. However, there were many men who spent their lives searching for the secret behind the mushroom's beauty, and did not find it: and others who sought the secret of eternal youth in the mushroom, and did not find it, and still more who hoped to discover the secret of making gold from mushrooms, and did not find it. Successful or not, these were truly valiant men! When the New World was discovered, mushology spread over the globe via the efforts of men devoted to its cause: the mushionaries. There arose conflicts between the mushionaries and some of the natives of certain lands, because the natives refused to accept 'the mushg' they were obsessed with the pebble. However, those natives did not have much choice in the matter, and soon they were 'converted' Then, due to many wars and revolutions, there was a sltimp in mushology, and the 'great quest' for complete knowledge of the mushroom was slowed. But only for a few years. When the sntoke cleared 'the pursuit' began once again. This era became known as the Age of the Golden Mushroomi because many new discoveries were made. There was Muwton who, in his famous experiment of inertia, put a mushroom in a vacuum bottle and found that nothing happened. From this truly great experiment scientists have been able to derive many gravitational laws. And one must not forget the memorable Madame Mushie and her noble husband, who conducted many experiments to prove that some mushrooms are radio-activeg they succeeded, finding a mushroom which falls apart four days after being picked. At this time astronomers catne up with the theory that mushrooms are beings from another planet, but this was shot down when, compiling all the scientific data on the mushroom, Charles Mushwin wrote the "Origin of Mushrooms." ln this book he proposed that all living beings on earth, even man, had their beginnings from the mushroom. This was thought to be a preposterous idea until, many years later, new evidence was un- covered by the famous archaeologist, Dr. Mushy, at Olduvai Gorge, in Africa, to prove this true. But the most famous and influential personage of the Age of the Golden Mushroom was a German psychologist called Freum. He delved into the psychological aspects of mushrooms and found that they possessed an intelligence equal to that of porpoises and chim- panzees. Soon mushrooms were being seen at circuses all over the world, jumping through hoops, balancing balls, and swinging on the trapeze. Man-eating mushrooms were displayed in cages, and a few courageous lion trainers dared put their heads into the mouths of those monstrous beasts. Many experiments were carried out on mushrooms, the results of which laid much of the groundwork in human psychology. Half a century later it was found, after extensive research, that many many mushrooms, despite the fact that they are of no nutritious value whatsoever and they taste like soap, can be eaten. This was the culmination of man's search for meaning. As a denouement, it was also found that the leftover mushrooms can be used as insulation and thus contribute greatly to the solving of our energy crisis. To all those men who dedicated their time, patience, money, and even lives to the advancement of mushology there can be only one thing to say: "Never has so much been owed by so many to so many." And so, on this memorable day, let us bow our heads in honour of those truly inspired men, whose failures and successes have made this world a better place in which to live. Karol Mikulash tSeeond Prize Essay, Gavin lnce l.angmuir Writing Competition! 'But Were Afraid to Ask 13

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