Trinity College School - Record Yearbook (Port Hope, Ontario Canada)

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Jim Jumbo Cameron The Monster of Math 3 High school football is always memorable, but how many young men could enjoy it as much as 5’9 , 130 lb., Jim Jumbo Cameron, the most sought after high school football prospect since Rodney Hy- phen Dash Barn-Jumper. Jim signed up as a rookie for early Calculus, in hope of making the Trinity Brains as a pulling frac- tion. However, as the pre-season practices pro- gressed, Jim proved himself as a fantastic steam- heating device and possessed the amazing ability to grow daisies and mushrooms in the soles of his feet. Jim made the team and in his rookie season was vot- ed “Most Outstanding Derivative’ by IBM. The Brains went through the season undefeated to the finals, where they met another undefeated organiza- tion, the most feared team west of the Y’ axis, the 509 “ Desks in the Salad Bowl. Bonoconi, Jumbo, and Mad Dog Crowds started gathering in the Science Wing As- trodome the night before the game. Most waiting to see the famed Jim “Jumbo’’ Cameron. They were 28 not to be disappointed. Game day arrived and fa- mous meteorologist Quarter Pounder Campbell had predicted clear skies and little wind, a rather safe as-

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sumption to make considering the game was to be played inside. The Reverend Donald ‘Waga YVaga Wright, rec- tor of the TCS canal system in Port Hope, Ont., had on occasion delivered the invocation before games played by the TCS Brains. The Reverend is a great believer in falling down the stairs, and he is not above suggesting in his invocations that the Brains would be victorious and TCS would be given the strength to destroy some hapless foe. Today was such a day. The Brains marched onto the field ready to do battle with the Desks. A black-board was flipped and the Desks won the toss. The opposition electing to receive, the Brains sent out their kick-off unit, made up of such fearful beasties as Dexter “ Bono- con i” Thurgood and Ted Mad Dog Byers. The kick went deep into Desk territory but they man- aged to return it to the second electric outlet by the windows. Then suddenly, on the Desks’ first set of downs a powerful drive up the centre aisle gave the Desks an early 6 points. Jumbo Cameron tried in Mad Dog, Bonoconi and Jumbo discuss game strategy. vain to tackle the speeding Desk as it weaved and spun its way into the Brains’ end zone, but in doing so agitated an old injury received in a clip during a rough game played a week earlier against the chalk- brushes. Jumbo was hurt. Could the team hold out without him? The outlook was glum, but the Brains defence managed to hold the desks to a 6-0 lead through to the last quarter. Then . . . a yell and a roar and all the crowd squealed, as mighty Jim Cameron stepped on to the field. The brains clicked under the powerful formula calls by Jumbo who threw four quick calculus books to put the Brains within scoring range. With three minutes left in the game Jumbo lept over the line and into the cupboard to tie up the game 6-6. The crowd grew hushed as the Brains kicked off to the Desks with two minutes left. The Desks’ set of downs ... a pass ... a scream went up from the 29