Trinity College School - Record Yearbook (Port Hope, Ontario Canada)

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The Author He bought a new pen And a new w riting pad And began to w rite. For a w hole week He wrote And then stopped to Examine His work He liked what He saw And published His w riting. For a time the book Was well received and its Advice was heeded. Soon, however, the book Lost its appeal and people Stopped reading it. He was hurt. He tried again with a New pen and a New writing pad. 1 hope this time He reconsiders. 23

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The Great American Sport As the big game hunting season opens across North America, eyes are turned to Detroit, Michi- gan where hunters enjoy an innovation in the sport. Here in the ' Motor City big game hunting is not ex- clusively a rich man’s sport. Encouraged by a group of sportsmen known as the mob , citizens of De- troit have easy access to all forms of weaponry. Hunting is carried out in the city, so transportation costs don’t have to be met. The most common wea- pon used is the ' Saturday Night Special , a small hand gun which retails for about $ 25 . 00 . Fired at point blank range, it is the easiest way to obtain a trophy — a favourite with novice and expert alike. If you’re after a little extra panache, the Detroit Piano is obtainable for a few extra dollars. It is also known as a ‘ machine gun . Peculiar to Detroit and other urban centres is the habit of leaving one’s prey where it is killed. This has come to disturb city officials who see the rot- ting carcasses as a health problem. As one civic offi- cial reported, “We have more killings in Detroit than our forces can cope with.’ Maintenance workers dispose of the corpses at the city’s mor- gues, crematoriums, and undertakers’ establish- ments, but measures have had to be taken to curb the increasing number of killings. A licensing sys- tem has come into effect. The licensee must com- plete one year of training before receiving his legal permission to kill. By way of recognition he is given a blue jacket and a badge. Unlicensed hunters are either shot or locked up for a short time. Unfortunately, the number of killings continues to increase. In an effort to alleviate the problem the mayor is levying a special tax. The new tax will be used to provide free transportation to rural areas for under-privileged hunters who cannot afford li- censes. The mayor hopes that other hunters will again take to the woods, to help get the stinking car- casses o ff th e streets. Environmentalist Jacob Boor hopes that ... the citizens of Detroit will come to realize the food va- lue of the numerous dead bodies. We cannot afford to waste th is valuable meat merely for the sake of sport in light of current food shortages.’ It seems that for all the good intentions of the mob to bring hunting to the people, Detroit is faced with a number of problems. We can be as- sured however that the problems will be ironed out in the American tradition of Truth, Justice, and Freedom . As H enrv Ford brought the automo- bile to the people of Detroit, so the mob’ has brought hunting, that great American Sport. 22

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Metropolitan Mania Traffic Pusher of Carbon Monoxide Brainchild of Detroit Killer Provoker of Tempers Choker of the Esophagus. Night Brings out the Pushers Of the Wonders of Turkey Ruiner of Young People who Get turned on. Red lights Underground Entertainment Little girls becoming Women Turning Little Boys into Men. Dark Alleys Figures Figuring on Who to Beat Up Money To buy the Wonders of Turkey- Lasts until Night. 24 r l