Trinity College School - Record Yearbook (Port Hope, Ontario Canada)

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Dissolution Far off, I hear sirens whooping and wailing with a deathly tone. They become louder as l come to my senses. I reach out and my room becomes full of light. A force prods me on as I fearfully turn my radio to those 'special' marks. I don't think it's a fire - those sirens aren't fire ones. Yes, that's just what lthought. as I switch off the radio and sit back for the last ten minutes of my life. There is no point in trying to do anything to save myself. Man has finally managed to launch himself into eternity. My life flies past me in quick flashes - enjoyment and pain mixed in with happiness and sorrow. It all comes back to me - and it will be over within ten minutes. Death is a funny thing, you know. It creeps up behind you and stabs you in the back. So slow, yet so fast. But now I am at the block with the mighty 'button' as my executioner. I suppose I should regard death as more of a door than a wall. It just doesn't strike me that way. Oh God, what a mess the stupid world has brought upon itself. Bunch of bloody fools, anyway. But there's no point in getting angry, now of all times. I wonder how my parents feel about this. My not being at home. Iwonder if they are thinking about me. Probably. Ihope they don't even know what's happening. My younger brother probably doesn't understand all this. God, what a terrible thought! Might as well go and say good-bye to my friends. I guess I should make the most of what is left. I wonder how they feel about it. I doubt that they're too mad. There certainly isn't much point in it. Everyone looks pretty calm nowg I guess they realize that there's nothing to do except try and make the most of things and enjoy the last little while. Oh God, only five minutes left! As I walk in his room I look at him. He doesn't seem to care too much. Who can really care anyway? He says, Hi, nice night, ch? I sit down. Vl'cll, thcy'vu dune il . Yeah . 'Put on the record player . VVhy the hell now, thi: elcctricityis probably off anyway . I didn't sec why it should bc. but Ididn't want to press the matter. . ij ,l 1 l I ,sl J Xxx CK A Y xx I! xi l, -I. HL I: I .ll 'All right, suit yourself. Don't get mad now'. I just look at him for a while, and he looks back emptily. There's nothing to do or say now. I look at my watch. 'Three big ones left . He looks up, spitting out a slight laugh. 'Did you hear the one about .... No, forget it. Forget this whole world, for all I care . Well, the time has just about come now, I think to myself as I extend my hand in the last act of friendship I shall ever know. - C. H. Blake Dusk Dusk is upon us. As the long, dark shadows of night, Creeping slowly nearer, As the wind howls through the distant trees. As cats set out on their nocturnal wanderings, Prowling, Searching through the night of silence, As the dew forms And settles on the spring grass, The night is born. - Rall. Butler Page I7

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Muze ol' man lleturnccl to dust of klgC Became as God - lneffuble. Wanting Life I sit here and think about the words that come to my mind the ones that tell of the torment in my withering soul and I cry upon a silent pillow about the days every one the same ofthe rich and the poor nf life and death and him and her no one to be themselves but to be all 'Society' can find the 'Dead' walls vibrate my scream to my soul a mortal blow that leaves an imprint that none can erase 't'hrist , the tears blow through screaming lids Life, the way they think: WHAT a farce a nd I drown in old memories breaking the shell around my brain uf Cath and -lim and Jenn and Tom No. I plead and my shell erupts in dormant fury :intl I stand. naked. ALL ALONE. A nd Sick! l light and fling all before :incl the face I Love appears :incl signilics all l hate yet burns in a sinking mind thi-y've won as another crushed individual -inks in the glory of their own efvcntuzil death I I l I I I and yet I can't say defeat and then become one of them again death would appear a better life than surrendering all I am To THEM an unfeeling mass of conforming minds ' and slowly a hush decends on my crashing mind and body never will this day fade from my closing brain as hurt and shattered love f'11ls every pore and no more, will I try to make them see to see every thought I thought of them and of HER Cremated, in a blazing fire of all my old ideals and the animal they call the thinking man thinking of naught but being accepted in the swirling crowd Everything is lost, even a hope of life, my 'Life' and IDEALS so I wave good-bye in reality another empty phrase and slowly, I shut the power plant of all I am and fall a shattered man Goddamn I hear again the same old voice and I yell and scream for a better world and I explode into fragments of boiling death and I die Praise the Lord - R. R. Oskr Page I6

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Remember Me? I don't remember any of it so great any more. and doctors and all kinds of people are asking me what l think of it all now that il is supposedly over with. When I tell them that l don't know, they think I'm evading thequestion or something. Really, I'm not thgughg I just don't remember enough of it to makea Dig speech about it anymore. 'I'hey're also asking me what l'm going lo do when l'm 'back into the regular 'swing' of society'. To tell the truth, I'm not so sure I want to leave this stupid place. It's supposed to be for crazy people, but just about everybody l've met has sure seemed a lo! more logical than the people in society. Take this one friend of mine, Chip Wolf. His parents were always calling up the cops on him because he was supposedly always running away. He told me the truth though. He said that his parents were always telling him to get out of the house and stay there, and when he did, they would call the cops on him. So what he did one night was this: he poured gasoline all over the place and tossed a match on it, so there wouldn't be a house to be kicked out of or hauled back to anymore. lt seemed pretty logical to me. His parents should be in here, not him. Anyway I'll tell you why I'm in here, or as much as Ican remember. Isuppose it started mostly when I was about thirteen or so. I never did lit in much with kids my own age, not that I wanted to though. I was a lot more mature mentally, and physically bigger than everybody else, so I stuck out quite a bit from them.I also think a lot different from most people, which made them think I was altogether pretty much of an oddball. I wasn't about to change my whole way of thinking just to please everybody else. I mean, I think the way I see things, flife and other problemsj is right, but they don't, so it led to a lot of conflict, tights mostly. They just couldn't leave a guy alone who wasn't just like them. I don't mind lighting so much, just as long as it's fair, but they would gang up on you and light as dirty as hell. My parents saw I was tighting and all, so they decided to send me to summer camp where I would learn to get along with other kids. Ale get along with other kids, like it was my fault. So that summer, off I went for three whole weeks of fun and excitement with kiddies my own age - HA! Actually though, it was okay, and do you know why? Iwasn't there. I mean, Iper- sonally was there, but my mind never was. I would always pretend I was somewhere else. Like when I was paddling a canoe or something, I would pretend I was washing the car at home. This was so I wouldn't realize all the phony little jerks that surround me. So thethreeweeks passed quickly and I went back home. That winter, in school, I tried to do the same thing but my grades all went down and I still got in tights, so it didn't help me much. When summer came I went off to that same crazy summer camp, which was the real start to this whole mess. I remember when we were pulling up to the main dock at the camp on the boat waving and screaming Hi to some other guys on the dock - kids that hadn't seen each other since last summer. They all looked so happy waving and all. When we got right along side Iwas one of the first ones off and then I saw this kid, John Tenison, who ,I knew fairly well last year. Hi, John , I 'said , trying to sound casual. He gave me this strange sort of look, and then managed a smile with an Oh, hi . The jerk, he didn't even recognize me. Right then I hated him, talking with all those people that he probably didn't even know. Right then the bell rang for us to go to dinner. As soon as they got us all assigned to tables I sat down and noticed three other kids at our table whom I knew from last year.I was just about to say something to one of them when he turned and said 'This is your first I . I I if fi . y f , 1 ' , tr T I , Q: lllfjzj tl