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DORMITORY LIFE The derivation of dormitory is the Latin verb, domire, to sleep. Hut dormitories are any- thing but sleeping places. All that goes on at home, and more too, happens in the dormi- tories; sleeping is a minor event. Some think that dormitory life is fascinating; others dread it as a formidable foe. Dormitory life has many attractive features: deans, radios, bugs, pests, bells, cold water, voice lessons, rules, and borrowers. To the prospective new student dormitory life is alluring; to the graduate it is repugnant. The new student pictures an ideal place: his own room; a cozy retreat; a studious corner; thoughtful neighbors; in fact, a place of comfort and pleasure. The old student, having undergone all the upsets, is eager for a change. A broadening and integrating feature of dormitory life is the prodigious variety of per- sonalities. Opinions from infra-conservatives to ultra-progressives; sermons from narrow- minded cranks and instigations from revolutionists who advocate the abolition of all rules, serve a very influential purpose. Yes, one will leave the dormitory with all kinds of per- verted ideas. It is according to the policy that the dean pursues in dealing with boys whether he is a popular fixture or the synonym for " detective. " Determined footsteps down the hall at 10:15 are apprehended as the approach of the dean; coffee pots, hot plates, and bologna scuttle under the bed; lights go off; a knock brings forth the dull, sleepy reply, " Who is t-h-e-r-e? " Monday night, Tuesday night, no interruptions by the dean; Wednesday night we shall have a feed — but the uninvited policeman raids our room, saying, " Boys, get to your rooms. " Another admirable feature of dormitory life is the innumerable interruptions by the " pest. " Oh, yes, all dormitories have a pest. He bounds into your room at all hours: " Where ' s Hill. ' ' " or " What y ' doin ' ? " or " I wanta ' borrie ' some hair oil. " He disturbs your study- ing, your sleeping, and your eating; he examines everything on your dresser, in your dresser, and under your dresser; he either sets up an inquisition or establishes a bureau of advice! At every knock you learn to answer, " What d ' ya ' want now? " Feeds and radios mix well ; in tact, they make a good " concoction. " The dean, promenad- ing in his pajamas, says, " Umph, I smell somebody ' s goin ' to stay up all night. " True, delicious odors permeate the halls: coffee, sausage, and burnt toast. To the poor outcast w ho " hasn ' t a nickel, " and who has finished his grits and sauerkraut, the arom as bring on despondency. Besides the wrestling above you, radios down the hall, and voice lessons on all sides, you have the singular privilege of being a delegate to the bathroom convention. Here, in high- pitched voices, all controversies over theology, politics, liberalism, radicalism, and pretty girls are reopened, promoted, and settled. Or, if you desire, you may have the rare opportunity of soothing your troubled spirits by means of the melodies from the bathroom quartette. In fact, the components of this rare group themselves present an amusing sight, for how can lather, comb, razor, and toothbrush portray anything but a queer spectacle? Again, the bathroom seems to offer an excellent studio for all voice lessons; maybe it is because of the acoustics, for certainly no amplifiers are needed! Including bells, oafs, and music with the above facts, I have concluded that the name of dormitory should be changed to " Bug House " ! Harold W. Glenn.
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