Tilden Technical High School - Craftsman Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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To Mrs. Pearce: A contraption rigged up for the making of the Craftsman. All she has to do is talk into it and it will linotype, assemble, proof-read and compose the Craftsman. To the Lunchroom: A mechanical paper-picker- upper and -- Oh Ioy More pretty waitresses like Betty. To the Freshmen: Not the usual steam heated lockers but a new invention of our own creation. A portable locker with built in radio and heater as well as an electric shaver. Each locker will be equipped with a chair, bed and 2000 horsepower motor, and jumbo balloon tires. Stairs will be converted into runways for the purpose of accomodating these vehicles. The seats will be removed from the class- rooms where the pupils will arrange their vehicles according to the alphabet. To the Sophomores: A two hour school day begin- ning at 10:00 A.M. for laterl and ending at 12:00 noon for earlierl. This time will be divided into 40 minutes of sleeping, 5 minutes to fill fountain pens, 15 minutes to get to the next class which will be lunch for the remaining hour. For the Iuniors: A complete mimeographed course Ccompiled by us seniors! on the art of studying les- sons and doing homework. This course will be com- plete in all details, and is not in the experimental stage. It has been tried and fully approved by us seniors with gratifying and otherwise perfect results. To the Seniors: CThat's us.D A specially reserved 200 acre plantation in the Hawaiian Islands where we may Cto our hearts' content! eye all the beautiful girls. Also we bequeath to ourselves a free run of Hollywood with the privileges of playing the hero's part at any desirable time. Not the adventure, nerve wrackng role, but the lovable, kissable, Oh shucks! You know what we mean. And there is the will!!!! Did you like it? Well, you'd better! For it was dug up, written, slaved for, and compiled by, as well as sworn in front of land at! Gregory L. Sienkiewicz and Iohn Walter Firlit, two noble Poles who have evaded the terrible purge in Poland. May they rest in Peace. AMEN! Sworn on this date the 20th of Iune in the year of our Lord CA.D.D 1940. at TILDEN TECHNICAL HIGH SCHOOL. Iohn Walter Firlit, known as Fifi the Great and Gregory Leopold Sienkiewicz the Dirt Digger Then there was the car with the broken window in his auto shop. Mr. Sessler Cfamous sleuthl explained, I don't know hat to do, this window is busted on both sides. Mr. Darraugh, Your soldering iron is cold, mister. Mr. McCurry: The picture of the horse is good, but where's the wagon? Brockman: There's nothing to worry about sir: the horse will draw thatf' Wm. Smith: Gee it's too bad Lincoln wasn't born in Lincoln. Landini, Why's that? Wh. Smith: Because that's what I answered in an ex- amination in history. FAMOUS LAST LINES OF TEACHERS Mr. Wasserman, We must learn this chemistry. Miss Smith, Which being interpreted? Mrs. Friedman, Now, monsieur, read that in French. Mrs. Pearce, Now, lads, we have work to do. Mr. Groves, Wut all these monkey balls doin' on this har p1ate? Mr. Napieralski, Shut up, you birds! Doc White, Maybe what for I can please you do, yes? Mr. Murray, No need to worry fellows! You'll get a D. Mr. Straka, If you don't get those tools, nobody works tomorrow. Doc Walters, How would you boys like to sell magazines for me? Mr. Collins, We are way behind Mr. Goodrich's classes. Mr. Steuber, I can't remember when this school had perfect assemblies. Doc Lunak, Keep this lunch room clean, or no straws. Mr. Darraugh your soldering iron is cold mister.

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first slowly and then faster. First Isee Iohnny Grzena, Roller Derby Champ, then Robert Menke the modern Einstein. Then Isee Allan Whiteford, president of the Baker's Association presenting Herb Hellmer and lack Flynn transcontinental knitting champs, being presented with medals for baking the best pies. Now I see the presentation of a medal to Eddie Schroeder, ten pin king. Here I hear an advertisement of a sale at the Canning Millinery Shops. The sounds and pictures grow fainter and all I can distinguish are such famous names as George Knetl, Moe Wolinetz, Henry Bollacker, William Smith, Harold Hultgren and Earl Boehm. Finally the faces and speeches fade completely. Yes, even a radio- televiso can break down but the star of the grad- uates of 1940 will never grow dim. Gregory Crystal-Gazer Sienkiewicz SENIOR CLASS WILL We, the proud and mighty seniors of the grad- uating class, herewith give up all our earthly pos- sessions aforekept here at our glorious alma mater, Tilden Tech. We resolve not to take with us any of the school, that is walls, ceilings and corridors. We will have all the lathes and shapes intact in the machine shop. We will however, take with us all knowledge C?D gained here in our four years of learn- ing C?l. Be it known to all ye present, past and future that in front of a duly sworn wicktomaniac at the date and place ascribed below, we of an insane mind and unsound body do ordain and bequeath the following: To Dr. Lunak: Upon his retirement may he take a tour of the world so he may enjoy life for a change. To make the trip more interesting may he compare the various types of sodas and beverages by sipping a bottle of soda at each stop without the artful use of a straw. To Miss Sass: May her retirement be a pleasant one. We bequeath to her a stack of Shakespearean poems and a few books on old Chinese philosophy t'Confucius say'l. To Miss Wright: A stack of self-signed early dis- missal passes and an office guard system which accomplishes something besides clock watching. To Dr. Humiston: CThe quack doctorl A farm out in Wisconsin where he may fish to his heart's con- tent, a sweltering blistering hot sun to make him sweat out and regret some of those fish stories he told us. May he establish an office where he will take care of the army of Tildenites with frostbites, sprain- ed arms, legs etc. with his medical knowledgeC?l To Alexander Musclebound Stevens: A large green and yellow checkered bag-pipe on which he may entertain his classes instead of the usual ad- lib, also a special sound proof glass cage in which he may be enclosed while playing. To Mr. Myers: A new fangled wrench which can be used to screw down right and left handed nuts. tAnd we don't mean the seniors.J To Mr. Woerner: A new portable with no roof. windows or doors, right next to a wind tunnel and underneath a waterfall. This is so the dumbest stu- To Dictator Mathie: A speechless, soundless, microphone by which he may speak to an uninter- ested machine shop class on the new fangled do- ogamajig he invented. This, a new fishing device, is a meter above water which tells the size, weight and type of fish that is nibbling on the hook. If too small it is frightened away by a picture of Mr. Mathie flashed in the water by an electrical impulse. dents may soak up the cleanest type of knowledge. To Miss Gallagher: A 100 page paper that can- not be criticized and a really efficient news staff that will write a few love stories that won't be cen- sored. To Flatfoot Sessler: A real mystery. The cor- ridors of Tilden are bare because ............ somebody has stolen all the lockers. Nobody was seen taking them out. Poor Sessler fWorry, Worry, Worry.J To Cent-a-day Sterzer: A group of energetic students who will turn their drawing plates in ahead of time, so instead of their paying him for being late, he will pay them for being early. To Backwoodsman Rummel: A half pint can of pink paint, and an artist's brush so that he may paint his cabin up in the North Woods. To Circus-Man Kuehl: In view of his complaints on labor concerning the Circus we give a 24 hour night and 6 hour day so that he may rest up for the coming Circus. To Miss Lawler: To her we give a thousand gross of roses with exotic, alluring aroma de garbage. Perhaps we shall also include a bottle of ammonium hydroxide to neutralize the effect. To Capt. Stube: A self waving, illuminated baton and to Mr. Fischer an orchestra that can play. To Count Kneebends Parkhill: A suit of armour for him to go swimming in. But shucks! He never goes in water over two feet deep. To Gay Ninetiesl' Hartmann: A job modeling black and white striped bathing suits in an old fash- ioned bathing beauty contest. To Miss Kritzer: Now that it's leap year a nice look- ing, well built, sparkling 1941, 4door Buick fsurprisel. May she have many happy trips and pleasant re- turns. To Mr. McGeoghegan: A gold plated lathe with diamond studded gears for him to remember Tilden during his retirement.

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He. Is there much Kissing going on here? Miss. Why, you'd be surprised how much goes on here right under my nose. Phooey Observing a young lady standing alone Summcoyn stepped up to her and said: Pardon me, but you look like Helen Black. Sally, Yes, I know Ido but I look far worse in White. Civics class-Miss Smith to Satler- When does the Supreme Court hand down a decision? Satler, brightly and quickly- When they reach one. How you feeling? Rotten. Whattsamatter? Got Insomnia. How come? Woke up twice in Wasserman's lecture today. Mary had a little lamp, A bashful one no doubt: For every time her beau came in The little lamp went out. Ioe. What were you doing after the accident? Iohnson. Oh just scraping up an acquaintance. Fallon: Shall we sit this one out? Daisy: Oh Bob! I'm so tired, let's dance. Young man: So Miss Ethel is your oldest sister? Who comes after her? Tildenite: Nobody ain't come yet, but Pa says the first one that comes can have her. Smaltz. Do you think Mrs. Pearce is talkative? Vacca. Well, yes, generally speaking. Prof. I'll not go on with my lecture until this room settles don. CWhisper from the backl Better go home and sleep it off, old man. A Tildenite went into a barbershop and seating him- self said, Art, the whole three short. What do you mean? asked the barber. Hair, whiskers, and chat- ter, was the reply. Please? No. lust one? No! Pretty please? No-oo. Please? Henry, why didn't you shave this morning? Asked to write a short interpretive composition on the goose, -Smaniotto wrote: The goose is a low, heavy-set bird, composed mostly of meat and feathers. His head sets on one end and he sets on the other. He cannot sing much on account of the moisture in which he lives. He car- ries a toy balloon in his stomach to keep from sink- ing. A goose has two legs and they set so far back on his running gear that they come pretty near missing his body. Some geese when they get big are called ganders. Ganders don't have to set and hatch, but just loaf, eat and go swimming. If I was a goose, I'd rather be a gander. Does your girl know much about automobiles, Pear- son ? No, she asked me if I cooled my car by stripping the gears. FAMOUS LAST LINES ........... Save me the butts, Bud. I match YOU now. Why did I get this D? Oh I see. My homework is in my locker: but I can get it. What jerk hit me? I was there! Miss Woesner, I am sick. Please give me a pass. Confucius Says?!?!!!?!? Time Ioke A pig and hen rooting together on the railroad track. TooTl TooT! TooT! Ham and eggs. Sminy. Well, I guess I'll study the Bible. Al. I'm going to study Spanish because I intend to go to Spain. Mr. Wasserman Cchemistry class? Phillips, what is steel wool? Ioe Phillips: It's shearings from hydraulic rams sir.