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Page 30 text:
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V l l g Prophecy of the Class of January, i938 19 HOWV fast' the time ities! It seems only a year or two since we Q U left high school, but at'ter comparing our reflections in the mir- ror with the class pictures in the dusty corner ol' the closet, we note a vague resemblance. 1958 being tl1e twentieth anniversary of our graduation, we de- cided to take a reunion pleasure trip in order to recover from the nervous strain wrought. upon us by these years. We had decided to go upon a few days, water cruise in the new luxurious liner owned by that great' Bay State senator, Roland L. Bassett. On the 23rd day of .I une, an excited, monstrous, surging crowd gathered on the pier to see the ship off. In tl1e rush of embarking, Marion Huse, a lied Gross nurse, tripped and fell right into the outstretched arms of Roger Heroux, tl1e witty New York columnist, who was also waiting to embark. At the head of the gangplank were two able-bodied government officials, Kenneth ,Hall and Dick Colburn, who were looking over the passports. Along tl1e gang plank came the rushing, blushing bride, Mrs. llaigle, the former Kay tlloster, holding a ,Pekinese dog under each arm. lt seems to have taken twenty years for her to make up her mind to take this step. It was then that the otiicial, YValter Ross, pointed to a sign instructing all dog owners to leave their pets with Neil Curtis, who would take good care of them until tl1e boat docked. The whistle blew, and two sailors, Fred tlarlisle and Chester Spirling, hauled in the gang plank. lVith all decks overflowing with excited people, the ship, with the help of tugs, slowly moved otf. The piers were black with the crowd, and above the uproar of all the noises, the blaring blending of a 'fsour brass band pre- dominated, conducted by that good trumpeter, Lennard Nystedt. All 'were enjoying themselves immensely except for three people. Une person was that well-dressed man about town, Homer Trudeau, who was climbing out ot' the water onto one of the piles, after being pushed off the pier by the crowd. The other two were quiet men, Fred XVindholz and Demetrius Hondros, wfho, with pained faces, sadly surveyed the paper streamers and other junk. These men were the ones whose job it was to clean up the piers, which reason ac- counts for their sadness. The ship quickly picked up speed and when land was no longer in sight, the people went to their staterooms where they were busily occupied until dinner was announced. At the captain's table was a group of distinguished people. The captain was Francis Gaylord, who was always a lover ot' waves, On l1is right was the designer of this modernized sl1ip, Henry llurick, whose eating was re- tarded by the incessant questioning of Dr. Jean l er1-ier, the noted chemical specialist. On the Captainls left was the beautiful Ann Nesworthy, who was taking a cruise to get away from the l'resident's Cabinet, of which she is a second Mrs. Perkins. Next in line was the famous novelist, Ruth Jefferson, whose articles usually appeared in the 'l'l+lHRlBliIfl TALES Ulf 'l'RtlUBlil'1lJ TIM ICS, a monthly magazine edited by that genius in literature, Russell Sails. Beside her was Helen Harwood, the wealthy nulnufacturer of the famous strained food t'or babies. Then came two mad chemists, Robert Oliver and W'a,rren Newhouse, the inventors of S'l'l-II+lCHUl,lNE. This remedy has the power of making muscles elastic and is greatly bought by rubber-neck stu- dents around 'texanlv time. And last but not least was an empty chair. This place had been reserved for the industrial designer, Jerzy Slusky. He, at this moment, was reposing in a two by four jail on shore for his numerous com- munistic soap-box speeches. His arrest' had been brought' about by Charles Uourchene, the chief ot' the one-man police force of Toonerville.
At dinner, a discussion arose over the amount of power the ship devel- oped, which resulted in Prof. Kyriacou of M. l. T. examining the shipis Inechanism. After 11ine hours of calculating, he concluded that the sl1ip was really going backward, at a speed of 19.833 knots per hour. Thatls how theories affected him. At the close of the dinner, our attention was attracted to the other end of the salon where we noticed Iflomer Smith making an unsuccessful attempt at juggling three plates at a time. Poor Smitty! Will he never learn ? Every- one was so exhausted after dinner that they went to bed early. .Early the next morning on the promenade deck, Edward Alden, the wizard ol' math at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, was seen trying to ex- plain his theories to -loseph Lander, who in return tried to explain the tech- nique of blowing a. saxophone. Robert. Anderslrom, the radio operator, received a message informing him that there was a lunatic on board. All passengers were watched and final- ly the olii-cials decided that the lunatic was t'y Perkins, for he was founid try- ing to tish on the stern of the boat with a spool ot' thread to which was tied a bent pin. While walking around the deck and viewing the happy, noisy crowd rather benevoleutly. the Vaptain suddenly noticed there was an extra funnel on the ship. He debated with the tirst mate, Henry tlendron, who investigated. lt proved to be only the new hat belonging to the French style expert, .leanet- te Bourgeous, who was standing on deck chatting with l.illa Price, known to everyone as the .IULIET UF TIMES SQUARE. The passengers were startled to see Harriet Miller collapse on deck. The stewardess, Gertrude lhrig, quickly summoned Barbara tll'2tlll, the ship's nurse, who took care of Harriet. The shipts doctor, Lincoln Herrick, diagnosed the case as severe indigestion caused by bad cooking. A search by that great t?l detective, Nathan Fox, revealed the dietician. Jacqueline Honiker, with her assistants Ruth Boehm and Virginia t'onnor, planning meals ot' fried lettuce and fricasseed ice cubes. The doctor ordered everyone who had eaten breakhist to hurry to the gym for remedial exercise. Leaving the deck, the crowd surged toward the crowded gym. Among the masses of arms and legs we recognized the instructor, XVerner Kuhn. and his two assistants, tliglotti and Parolo, trying to maintain order. Later in the day, we were surprised to find Earl tlraver standing shoot- ing the sun. YVe discovered that his implement was directed at Vera Thomp- son playing deck tennis with Ray Carr tat lastj, in line between the sun aml the bridge. The second evening's entertainment, which was in charge ot' those two former night club owners, lJill and Gaines, consisted of dancing to the music of Bill Taylor's orchestra witth Pete Meltzer, the second Fred Astaire, doing a specialty number with -lulia Shea. Another treat for the audience was a nightingale solo given by Leo Uhristie. now a famous baritone ot' the Spring- lield Opera House. Eleanor Fine helped him greatly to climb the ladder ot' fame by her soulful playing of the piano. Then came the ventriloquist, Tommy Barlow, with his dmnmy Frances Mcffarthy. brother of t'harlie. Last, came the showing of a tilm featuring Phyllis Colton and tleorge Anderson in a thrilling love story which left the crowd so ex-hausted that they hastened to their staterooms for a good night's rest. Early the next morning this eventful voyage came to a close. The otlieials, John Bulger and lValter Carlson, had checked everything and now only the goodbyes remained to be said. The hurrying crowd rushed down the gang plank. Above this noise we heard what seemed to be a fog horn, but proved to be only llave Trombly bellowing good bye. FRANK l'iACENVIf'Z YVii.I.IAn Donor: El.i+'i:Il-:nn El.sNnu
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