St Marys Academy - Illuminatio Yearbook (Inglewood, CA)

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THE PRETZEL-BENDERS UNION, a characteristic European society of laborers who have banded together to preserve for posterity the unadulterated, pure form of pretzel, which has of late been deteriorating into a common shape, somewhat angular in appearance. This particular union is a branch of the International Pretzel- Wrestlers of the World, and was first organized in California by the fraus Lieb, Von Steger, Glotzbach, Dreyfuss, and Wehmeier. For the convenience of our patrons, we have been fortunate in engagmg the fol- lowing tradesmen and artisans, who will accompany the train and give their services absolutely free (tips accepted). M. Dunkle, electrician: Will repair flashlights and eliminate currents from San Francisco Bay. M. Gearin, palmist: Will predict financial catastrophes to guests who patron- ize Thomas Hook Son. T. Hessel, purser: Guests will turn over all money and purses to the purser and be relieved permanently of them. T. Petersen, engineer: Will keep machinery and Ingersoll watches well oiled. B. Rundio, Pullman car namer: Will supply pleasant and intellectual names for all cars on the train. A. Furrer, dietician: Will supervise serving of guests to see that sufficient starches and no spinach are provided. H. Poxon, R. Leake, H. Sill, chain gang: Will repair all roads and breakdowns. J. Reigh, professional acrobat: Will juggle glasses of water at dinner to amuse guests. M. Harding, porter: Will attend to all luggage and mifplaced toothpaste caps. Following we print the names of a few of the distinguished travelers who have already signed up on the advance tourist enrollment: E. Eccleston, pianist: Played last season before the round heads of Europe. H. Perry, artist: Painted the great-grandchild of a friend of a relative of a former secrctaiT to Rudy Vallee. J. Stroud, archaeologist: Discovered and excavated ruins of old china beneath the Blue Goose Tea Salon. C. Tomicich, ship-biiilder : Supplied yachts for the President of Transylvania last year. ]. Matulich, songbird of Broadway: Sung her w.iy into the hearts and pockets of many of Los Angeles ' prominent people. L. Leonard, biology professor at Podunk University, is conducting a group of cultured maiden ladies on this tour for the purpose of studying specimens. B. Stark fvery polished A. V italo I biology students M. Maxfield I touring Europe M. Gillespie |in California D. Griffith Ifor the first M. Lee |time: very goad- M. Foote [looking, and M. McDonough [interesting Ha .kl SiLI. Tivcnty-five

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TOURIST GUIDE FOR 1945 Ijnder Management of THOMAS HOOK SON Why go to Europe, when Europe has already come to Cahfornia? Thomas Hook Son offer a marvelous comprehensive tour of Europe in California at re- duced summer rates, beginning at San Diego, June 17, 1945, and concluding at Klamath balls, September 2, at the end of the summer season. Following is a brief description of the main places of interest to be visited in the regular course of the tour: FRENCH VILLA, in the picturesque southeast portion of Los Angeles, at Fifth and San Pedro streets. This quaint little inn is a veritable section of Europe trans- planted in California, having as its culinary specialty sauted frog legs and luscious oiled snails. LInder the capable management of the Mademoiselles Laffitte Trem- blay. Jeanette, Bushard, ?nd Morin, this charming villa has become the showplace of all southern California. Here the Thomas Hook Son entourage will stop and spend three days — and unmentionable sums of money. SPANISH KITCHEN, in the heart of health giving Death Valley. A stop of ?t least a week will we allowed here, in order that our patrons may enjoy the unique climate and surroundings of the place. The undulating dunes of flaxen sand picturesquely flecked with an occasional human skull, or perhaps a fibula, lend vivid color to the spot. The Spanish Kitchen itself, in charge of the Senorita Ipiiia, assisted by Senoritas Mercedes and Arena, is truly a copy of the old Spanish restaurantes. Ihere we shall purchase (Oh, yes, we shall!) the same quaint dishes that we should hnd 1 ■ sirinv M dr. ' -,- toned Castle— ham sandwiches and strawberry soda. CAP AND BELLS COLLEGE, situated in the green hills north of Fresno. Ihis Irish institution was founded for the purpose of educating Englishmen as to the proper manner of rpcewinq; and appreciating humorous stories and jokes. After receiv- ing the eight years ' course, any Englishman is entitled to a diploma, which certifies that he or she is fully cap- ' ble of perceiving the point of any normal joke in not more than hve minutes. (It has been found that Englishmen get three laughs at a joke, i he first when it is told to them, the second when it is explained to them and the third when they get the point . . . Frenchmen get only two laughs from a joke. They never get the point . . . Germans get but one laugh because you can ' t explain it to them . . . Americans never laugh at a joke because they have already heard it.— Mc- Uymond ' s Record). The dean of the college at present is Pat O ' Connor, and the board of directors and faculty is as follows: B. Connolly, K. McLaughlin, G. Donohue, L. Duffy, and O ' Doud. THE POST-GRAVES AMUSEMENT PARK, located in the playground of Europe— Market Street, San Francisco. Two Englishmen started this novel amuse- ment place, and incorporated into it a post-graduate course for any of the students from Cap and Bells College who had a high standing and possessed a permit from the dean. THE SCOTTISH FOUNDATION FOR CHARITY, one of the most remarkable organizations in the entire world. This unique and novel institution was founded in the year 1941, by a group of Scottish women revolters, led by the Misses McMaster and McPhee. (Contributions to the fund by travelers should be given to Ihomas Hook Son, who will be only too glad to relieve their patrons of any sum of cash over $50.00). Tzvcnty-foiir '

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