St Louis (LKA 116) - Naval Cruise Book

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T PNSN DUNCAN, PNC CROFT, PN3 SALMON I V K sr. ' 4 '.-. -1' 'Q 2' v 'QSQSJ4 l -using ENS NEWMAN, YN3 MORROW, SN YNSN PARR, YN2 SM SHIELDS x 1' ITH

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XDI I IO This smiling and congenial staff of incompetents are here to serve you at all times. From these bright UD, capable 171 fellas you can acquire an immediate honorable discharge, orders to an island of wine, women and song and the women outnumber the men nine to one, have your mast cases mysteriously vanish, become divorced and clear of all dependents and the little woman for free, anyfall of these and more if the price is right. Or if you leave it up to them, they may screw it up in good time themselves at no cost to you. Ens Newman is the latest in a long line of Personnel Officers who have wrestled with these problems, as well as other irate shipmates, who have gotten some of these previously mentioned fringe benefits by mistake and find it is harder to unchange than it is to change. When speaking to PNC Croft, tell him what you need and then listen closely, guy, cuz if you miss it the first time, that's too damn bad. PN3 Salmon and his wonderdog PNSN Duncan handle the enlisted men's records while YN2 Smith, YN3 Morrow, YN3 I-Iovey, YNSN Tyson, YNSN Parr, and SN Shields feel around in the dark with the officers' records. These are the fearless breed who laugh at crisis, chuckle at catastrophe and sneer at danger. This is a good thing because crisis after catastrophe after dangerous situation continuously threatened ship's office as deadlines, due dates, etc. were sweated out and nearly, but not quite, missed by Mr. Newman and the pen pushers. P NG 4',, 1 3 u Di F i f ' 1 V Q 'Uh-ssh 'sx :7 D I.. r LTJG RODRIGUEZ YN3 HOVEY, YN3 SMITH, YN2 OVIEDO, PNC CROFT, PN3 SALMON, YN1 LILLY, YNSN TYSON, PN2 GORDON, NC1 CURRY

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HDI I IO This convention of witchdoctors are actually corpsmen here in Gray's Hotel. One person to stay on the good side of if you know what I mean, is the corpsman. If you don't know what I mean, let me fill you in on a couple ways the can getcha. How does the possibility of your shot card coming up missing and having to get a whole series again with needles the size of railroad spikes. Actually, that's only one way but need I say more. As far as their specialties go, here is a breif rundown. HN Davis chants the incantations that will your warts away and he will perform this service if he's in the right mood. Carter, Meckley, Miller and Randolph are the lab technicians and can be found there most any time of the day working on their cure for boredom. Danque is the man who tests out the racks making sure that the degree of comfort conforms to his unbending standards. He works hard at this and can be found working round the clock on many occasions, nearly everyday in fact. Chief Baldwin spends most of his time an energy helping Doc Folsom, who is currently absorbed in the writing of his two books he hopes will get him on the banquet circuit of the AMA. Be watching for them to be out sooner or later. They are titled How to Perform Your Own Pre-Frontal Lobotomyn and will be followed closely by Doc Folsom's Do It Yourself Leg Amputationu. And nobody is really sure about the screams coming from the vicinity of Wyrick's office, but it has been rumored that he has begun a correspondence course on the dying art of headshrinking. Anyone for sick call? I ,sur fn t er DOCTOR FOLSOM, HN DAVIS, HM3 WYRICK HM3 MECKLEY, HM3 CARTER, HMC BALDWIN