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Page 102 text:
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Come on Suzy, jump through the hoop. No grounds for divorce. Maori mating. Do you think those two will elope? Never before have so few, been governed by so many, with so little result. ADVERTISEMENT How to be obnoxious without really trying is a fantastic new teacher-baiting game developed by Parks Bros, designed for rebellious students between the ages 13-18. It is modelled after the medieval practise of bear baiting, only in this case the bear is the teacher. The rules are simple enough—there are none. OBJECT—to disregard as many classroom rules as possible, to be as absolutely verbose as possible, to instill in your teacher as much dread and dislike of your presence as possible—so long as you don’t get kicked out of class, in that case—game over. There are three approaches to this game. One is the totally rejected approach—of being so literally stupid that you can’t help but exasperate a teacher, who is the symbol of learning itself. This approach is favoured, for some reason by the Jewish element of the community. A second sure-fire approach is to become a hockey player—automatic twenty- five points. The third method is a little more difficult to employ effectively, but the successful student can really chalk up the points. This method involves adding your own cute sarcastic little remarks to each statement of the teachers. The more sarcastic your remarks, the more points you get. Fifty points if you can get the teacher to blast you with invective or obscenities. The points are cumulative, over the course of your baiting career and in case of emergency may be willed to a fellow student. One word of caution: do not attempt to play this game with a teacher who is playing the adult version of the game, student-baiting. It can be a rather grim experience. 98 —Donald Percifield Form V
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Page 101 text:
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