St Johns College - Yearbook (Annapolis, MD)

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to visit his home, and receive the heartfelt welcome always accorded him. But towards the close of his Soph- omore year a slight change began to be manifest respect- ing his relations to home. His letters became more and more irregular in coming, and often were very incom- plete. Yet we made due allowances for this, and attrib- uted it to pressure of work. W'e should not have noticed this so much, but he soon began to form excuses for not coming home on holidays. Sometimes he remained at college, while at other times he would go home with one of the students. Yet his motherls heart was even recon- ciled to forego the pleasure of seeing her boy, because she thought that his visits furnished him happiness. He firmly believed that he loved the old home as much as ever, and perhaps he did, but to my mind there is a limit to the action of the brain, and in proportion as new subjects of thought came crowding into the mind, so old ideas and sentiments are wont to be obscured, or pushed back into the innermost recesses of the brain, as grain is stored in a warehouse. These ideas or sentiments require continual effort to keep them in prominence, and so it was in johnis case. His home-love yet burned in his heart, but the busy routine of college life so occupied his brain that it was no difficult matter for his home-thoughts to slink into the background 3 and he was slowly, uncon- sciously allowing the pressure of occupation to cast a shadow over the glow in his heart. , The summer's vacation after his Sophomore year I he passed at home, but although he willingly did what- ever duty came to him, still he never manifested his old enthusiasm over the scenes of nature or the affairsiat home. He read most of his leisure time, and seemed bent upon one object. That object was law. I have said that john was of an impulsive disposition, and that same disposition led him to throw his very soul into whatsoever project he took a fancy to. Law was such a project, and law he meant to pursue to the bitter end. Furthermore, he took the sternest possible view of the profession. He felt that there should be only cold dis- crimination in acts of justice, and although he did not intend to read law proper until his graduation from col- lege, he nevertheless trained himself to look upon the deeds of men from a purely critical standpoint. Neither would his energetic disposition permit him to maintain a happy' medium of sentiment 5 but in the pursuit of his chosen aim his desire to do right transformed him into a pessimist 5 the cold calculations of his brain preyed upon the sympathies of his heart until he seemed unable to see life's brighter side, or even the brighter side of his own profession. Sometimes while in society his inborn gen- iality would reappear, 'only to disappear in what seemed to him the proper training for his pro- fession. It was evident that some circumstance or some ' word fitly spoken' was required to bring again into prominence the tender side of the nature of this naturally affectionate lad. Fate decreed otherwise. ,.- .M -nn-1, .

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S 45 wifi studies, but occupied his leisure time more in general reading. I have always greatly feared that john's choice of professions did not chord with his natural tempera- ment, and was the indirect cause of many of the mistakes in his after life. But enough of this. Two pleasant years of inti- mate friendship passed away, and John, having finished his course at the public school, and meanwhile taken up a special course of study under a kind friend who offered to give him private instruction, was preparing to leave for college. His education had of necessity been but fragmentary in his early years, so that he was compelled to strain every nerve in order to make up the deficiency. Yet perseverance and energy won, and he was at last prepared to enter the Freshmen Class at college. Nobody can tell the sacrifices the mother and fa- ther made in order to send that boy to college, but he was a worthy lad, and the brightest hopes were enter- tained for his future success. How his last few weeks of time at home sped on,' bringing nearer and nearer the opening of the collegiate session, and what a wrench it was to feel that we must so soon be separated l At length the day of departure arrived. I was up bright and early, and had run over to the Heilt farm to see john off. john strove hard to conceal his emotions 5 but to a boy of his temperament leaving his home for the first time, this was too much of a task 3 and as he helped to place his trunk in the wagon, and then climbed in him- 152 self to be driven to the railroad station, I could see that his cup of sorrow was well-nigh full to overflowing. His mother and I watched him until he was lost from view behind yonder stretch of Woodland, and when he had looked back and waved his last farewell just before disap- pearing, the mother's silent tears fell thick and fast for a few moments, and I am not ashamed to confess that mine followed. However, we knew it was best for john, and so we wereconstrained to repress our feeling and betake ourselves to our respective duties. John's first few days at college were fraught with many new experiences to him. Although used to wait- ing upon himself, still he missed the ministering hand under the parental roof, and in many respects found mat- ters entirely different from the quiet life on the farm. Little by little he became acquainted, however, and after that peculiar malady known as homesickness had worn off, he settled down to work, and made for himself a fair record. He corresponded regularly with his mother and me, and as it was in accordance with his nature to be frank and open in all matters, we were kept well informed respecting his experiences at college. The receipt of his letters was, you may suppose, a source of great joy to his mother, and it was not long before she was outwardly reconciled to the separation, and the daily routine of the farm went on without interruption. john fully enjoyed the work at college, and was never so happy as when a holiday gave him opportunity md

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There 'was soon to begin a chain of circumstances which tended more and more to cast into shadow his better nature, and which were the cause of much sorrow and bitter repentance in after years. However, before this dark train, there was a trace of light. 'S To make a long story short, about the beginning of his Senior year john fell in love with a young lady living a couple of miles from the college, and for a time it appeared that his sunny disposition would once more be resurrected from its tomb of melancholy, and that john would be able to grasp the sunbeams of life which had lately eluded his clutch. His smile once more returned to his countenance 3 he felt better toward the world be- cause his innermost being, his affections, had been stirred, and somewhat of his old enthusiasm in natural beauty returned, together with a reawakening of home- love. But, alas! such a happy state of affairs was des- tined to arrive at an abrupt termination. The young lady who had excited his admiration was a bright, attractive girl, and she gave john all the encouragement he needed in his suit for her hand, but shortly before commence- ment, just as he was about to leave the scene of four busy years and take another step in the walks of life, he one day took her to a beautiful secluded spot near her home, and spoke of his love to her. Imagine his surprise and chagrin when she simply laughed a cold, pitiless laugh, and told him what her actions had belied many a time. H His faith in human nature was greatly shattered at I this disappointment of his hopes, and under any circum- stances it would have required some time for the wounds to heal. But again circumstances were against him. He relapsed into his former melancholy pursuit of chill, unadorned knowledge, became somewhat reckless ir his actions, and when the session at the law school opened, it found him in a it mood to enter into the first scheme, good or bad, that was presented to him. 'K It is needless to enter into the details of his experi- ences at law school. Suffice it to say that he fell in with a crowd of young men who cared more for having a good time than for studying, and as a result of his reckless feeling, john entered into their enterprises with spirit, and although not doing anything very wicked, still he neglected home, friends, studies, and almost self-respect. His natural brightness carried him through his final examinations, but the tares which had been sown in his character could not fail to produce their legitimate fruit. and to thrust him one step farther from the path of recti- tude and happiness. Such was the sorrowful situation when at last John was equipped to sail forth upon the voyage of life g and oh, how that motheris heart must have ached for the bright though wayward son whom she saw drifting away from loveis ennobling l11l:lLlG1'fCGSi You will notice that the year of Johns graduation was his twenty-sixth, and that same year witnessed the beginning of that stupendous struggle which enveloped