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Page 40 text:
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After disembarking from the se-
cureness and guidance of the mighty
lines Education, the Innocents find
themselves in the strange world of
business. To reach their distination,
the country of Success, they must
travel one of the two routes lying be-
fore them-namely, Work or idleness.
Work presents a stony path full of
the ruts of discouragements, inappre-
ciation and insignificance combined
with the rocks of hardships, submis-
sion and weariness. Idleness presents
a mistily smooth pathway strewn with
the roses of ease, pleasure and con-
tentment. However, at the end of the
pafthway of work is success, but at the
end of the pathway of idleness is ob-
Which road will the Innocents take?
1. To be able to sleep until 8 :59 and
reach S. H. S. by 9:00 a. m.
2. To persuade the teacher to give
a HD" for a five week's work deserv-
3. To train the ears so that, while
enjoying an innocent snooze, one
would hear the buzzer, wake up, and
not sleep on into the next period, an
innocent in a hostile atmosphere.
4. To have History C in any but the
4th or Sth period. The teacher's spon-
taneous speech,-caused by the bell,-
would end much sooner.
5. And the greatest of all: to be
popular with teachers and classmates
alike, without becoming studious, the
teachers, because it is necessary, the
classmates, because, well, you know
DANGERS OF INNOCENTS ABROAD
As sure as the fates have kept
watch over them while they are in
Southside, woe will befall certain
members of the senior class when they
depart from their beloved Alma
Someone in the near future is go-
ing to take advantage of Ruth Carr's
willingness to loan all her possessions,
and of John Deming's willingness to
work. Time will take away such in-
just because we're honest in South-
side is not a sign that the world isg
and if someone should steal poor un-
suspecting Jim McConnell's gum, he
would be broken-hearted. Miriam
Parker needs watching, too. She will
meet her death ,neath the wheels of a
Lizzie during one of her giggling
As for Claude Gingrich-the inno-
cent child won't know Hwhat it's all
aboutl' when he first attracts feminine
We appeal to all good Southsiclers
-is there no way we can protect these
innocent seniors when they are out
from Linder our guidance?
WHY INNOCENTS LEAVE SCHOOL
1. Only six hours of school a day.
2. Too much time between classes.
3. Classes only forty minutes long.
4. Too much time at noon.
ips only natura .K 5. Not half ,ent gh night work.
J lip Zph Tolberi retta McConnell
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Page 39 text:
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AUTOBIGC-RAPHY OF AN INNOCENT
I was born in Saint Louis and have spent a little of my Life on the Missis-
sippi. Like the Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg, I have done much Roughing
It, and have acquired broad views as a Tramp Abroad. VVhile traveling, I be-
came acquainted with More Tramps Abroad, who were also Following the Equa-
tor. Among them were the Prince and the Pauper, Those Extraordinary Twins
who were responsible for the Tragedy of Puddinhead Wilson.
A few weeks later, we were informed by Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry
Finn, two other Innocents Abroad, that Eoe's Diary revealed I had been left
a 330,000 Bequest and a 561,000,000 Bank Note by Cap'n Stormfield. They also
stated that there was an American Claimant, a Connecticut Yankee, to be exact.
Being a believer in Christian Science, and scenting what promised to be a
Double-Barreled Detective Story, I sent Tom Sawyer Abroad to get the Personal
Recollections of Joan d'Arc. However, my Double-Barreled Detective Story
proved to be only a Dog's Tale. foan d'Arc had met The Connecticut Yankee in
King Arthur's Court during Cap'n Stormjieldis Visit to Heaven, and he had cap-
tured her heart by training the Jumping Frog of Calaveras County. She also
said that he had participated in the theft of the Stolen White Elephant.
Of course the Connecticut Yankee had no chance of obtaining the money
when faced with this evidence in the court of Hadleyburg, and I won my inheri-
tance. Now I and my other Tramps are living in a Gilded Age.
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Page 41 text:
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