South Side High School - Totem Yearbook (Fort Wayne, IN)

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THE TOTEM Telling About Us the Verst Way By ROBERTA GARTON There is a young lady named Haven On whose name cards Success is engraven, For we all are aware That she plays fair and square- This young lady, you know, is B. Haven. Our president's name is called Parrish, His puns, we'll admit, are quite fairish But that is not all, For he,s manly and tall- A combination thatls really quite rarish. Pat Beall is well known in South Side For the clubs which she's able to guide, For both Philo and Times Has Pat held the lines- No wonder we claim her with pride. Don Powell is an athletic boy, He's the damsel's delight and great joyg For this handsome young lad The girls all go mad, For a football to him is a toy. A pianist renowned is Miss Glass, And she's really a very fine lass. Sheis loquacious, 'tis true, But perhaps you are, too, And her playing you cannot surpass. Oh! Ernie and Mark are young men Who for motoring have a great yen. Cleopatra they boughtg What a bargain they got! And she sounds, so we've heard, like Big Ben. Eugene is a cartoonist rare Who does all his work with great care. He is in great demand When work is at hand Which requires skill that's more than just fair. There is in our midst a fair maid Who of speaking her mind's not afraid, Miss Garrison places In all speaking races- Good proof that she's made the steep grade South Side is well blessed with red hair, And the Williams twins make it a pair. They're called Bud and Sis, And these two you can,t miss If you search in the halls with great care There is a young lady named Burry Who has all the boys in a flurry. In Charm,' she did well As a sweet small town belle, So this young lady has not a worry. Hugo Winterrowd is a tall lad Quite worthy of setting a fad. He's the best dressed young man In our great southern land. And his dancing is also not bad. Miss Baltzell is an artist, weive heard, But she's also somewhat of a bird, For that big airplane man fWhose name's Don and not Dani Rates with her both first, second, and third There is in our midst a John Brown Who can be either sad or a clown. When as Joe Pond he played, Quite a big hit he made- The roof, in fact, almost came down. As we've mentioned before on this page, Red hair in South Side's quite a rage Social Science president- Mr. Farries, we meant- Is blessed with an auburn-framed image.

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THE TOTEM About that time Dr. Arian came in and asked me if I would care to witness a boy's education. After giving an affirmative answer, I went with the Doc to his lab. There he stuck a bunch of tubes into the youngster and turned on the valves. After about five minutes, he turned off the valves and removed the tubes. He then gave the boy a ream of paper and a book of questions. The results were so startling to me that I knew that the excuse about being absent the morning brains were handed out was no longer good. Hence I submitted to a bit of education, which, I may adcl, was a pleasure for the first time. The next day I went out again and saw many of me ole fransf, There was that little guy known as Twelve Dozen. 4 There was a lanky guy5 wearing a tam and carrying a book published in 1934. Of course, I met a lot of old girl friends, and was sur- prised that the long sleep had worked no miracles in the line of beauty. But I donit mean to imply that these girls needed a beauty sleep. Oh, no. Why I can remember the days when a beauty operator could take ten years off their mothers' ages, five years off their own ages, and add fifteen years to their fathers' ages by making them worry about paying the bills. But as I was saying before I was so rudely inter- upted, I saw some girl friends. And who would you rather like to meet than two girls that remind you of Miss Alcottis book, Little Women. 'l One of the little girls has hair that has an affinity for dye. Not knowing the other very well, I should say that she is just a sweet little thing. As I was reaching for a shot of Will Roger fgum, you lugj a girl known as i'Shanghai Li1 7 ups and asks me for a stick. I just had time to get my pen out of sight when she asked for it. She always was funny that way. Now I am going to give you three guesses, whom do you think I saw next? I'll give you a little hint, he didn't have a Roman nose, or Nordic either. Ar the time I saw him he was applying a bit of high-pressure salesmanship to a man that he had cornered. If I remember correctly, he was trying to sell some furni- ture. Now I am not sure, but I think that his name was Aloysius.S Really, that name is as bad as Eppim- mennides, the name which was given to that curly headed kid that aspired to be a diplomatf' I was really surprised to see the next two people, and I wasn't sure till I moved closer and heard their conversation. One hears sometimes that the church does not care for society, she said, and then one hears that it does. 1 0 Q'Yes, oh, yes, he replied.11 Now I really thought that was too clever for words, just think fyou do it, I get paid for thinkingl they had remembered those lines from the Senior Play. As I strolled along the avenue I saw a dignified gentleman carrying a brief case with a business-like 113 manner. This rather shocked me as I never before knew that I was twins. fEditor's note: These last few lines should have been deleted. These authors are awfully conceited people. Author's reply: May I be so bold as to call myself a humorist. And in answer to the above charge state that we whose hair grows white in service must look after our own publicity., Surely after a heated argument with a publisher not even an uninterested reader would mind going out to the sea shore. Mind it or not, that's where I went. There I indulged in drinking in the view and a few gallons of water. While I didn't exactly pay any atten- tion to the bathers, I might state that the apparel was no less shocking than that of 1934. fSeek the faint bit of pun in the above., After the bit of communion with Neptune a great feast would have been wonderful but poor me had to sit down to the customary crackers, capsules, and wafers. Ah, sweet were the memories of those potlucks. Even a big picnic, ants included, was swell. Yes, no matter what people say, I still believe that a big meal is just it, but then one must live and learn. One thing that it took me this long period to learn, or to think up, was a statement to justify a bad habit, belching. After much effort was expounded and wasted, I finally have a motto: It is better to burp and suffer shame, Than to not burp and suger pain. There is really one thing that I like about Utopia. That was the lack of need for a regulated day. One could sleep, eat, drink, and be merry or get married any time of the day or night. Business places in Utopia could be compared to the open day and night gas stations of the twentieth century. Going home that evening I heard someone chant, Did hie me up from my tick, etc.',13 Then someone shouted, Mr. Wilson, there's get- ting to be a little fall in the airfiw After rounding the corner I heard, I'm not angry with you, but I'm just not happy, that's a1l.,'H I was, by that time, hearing so many hauntingly familiar cries that I ran till I reached home. Once in the house, I began to feel drowsy. I could feel myself dozing off. I shook myself a bit and straightened up. Shortly, I dozed off again, and Aglia started to shake me violently and shout, Wakeup. Wake upf' Finally when I came to, I found myself in the chemistry room with Herbert S. Voorhees shaking the daylights out of me. When I was fully awake, he informed me that I had just slept through an ether demonstration. He added that I might finish my nap during my next class. Funny man. 'Eugene Craig, 2Geralcl Farries, RRoberta Garton, 'Mark Gross, :Bob Parrish, Marie Butler and Elinor Siebet, 7Elaine Thompson, Tom Kaplan, Vjohn Dern, Edith Spangle, UHamilton Williams, uErnie Williams, Upat Beall, John Brown.

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Tom Kaplan of stars is quite fond- Though not those that reflect in a pond- With the scrawl of Mae West Is the gentleman blessed- We don't doubt that itls placed under bond. A singer is Lane Breidenstein, And he also hands a good line. I-Ie gets around Quite a lot With this line that he's got, And his manners to teachers are fine. Therels a maiden whois known as Elaine Who takes in the big Totem gain, She's a popular missg And fwe,re whispering thisj Shels intelligent, and yet she's not plain. Dan Zehr is a swimmer of fame And the damsels you really can't blame When for him they fall, For he's big and he's tall With an athlete,s powerful frame. Frances and Chet, that great pair, For the rest of the world do not care Together they go In sunshine or snow- To them all weather is fair. Elinor Sieber is known In this great Southerly zone For her vigor and pep And for keeping in step When others drop out with a groan. An athletic lad is Bob Bligh, For whom the maidens all sigh, When his ankle he broke, All the feminine folk Stood watching anxiously by. The Times Manager known as D. B Believes in a world fair and free. His Utopian daze Would set the world all ablaze If 'twere broadcast o'er land and o'er sea. 115 THE TOTEM That gay city slicker, Paul Deal, 'When a niaidfcpmes around starts to reel They affect him. you see, With a great ecstacy That rings in his ears like a peal. Howard Smith is a speaker renowned In whose words true wisdom is found. He is known far and wide, For his talks in South Side Make opponents, orations rebound. For Miss Schwartz, a diminutive lass, All Young gentlemen turn out en masse. Vfirh her curly dark hair And her smile sweet and fair She is able to do more than pass: A songster of fame is Ruth Anng She's not only willing but can. She delights with her song All who happen along, For on music she places no ban. Marie is a well known South Sider Than whom no oneis fame travels wider. Though she looks very weak, She knows well how to speak, But this last, you know's, bona fider. A young man of promise, John Dern, Great classical volumes won't spurn. He studies away While other studies play, And he not only can, but will learn. Edith Spangle's a girl in South Side To whom we can point with great pride. Her scholarship's line- A remarkable sign That in Fame's Hall she'll reside, Martha Suter's a woman of sports Who each day at some new game cavorts. She has copious wealth In radiant health And a store of witty retorts.