South Side High School - Totem Yearbook (Fort Wayne, IN)

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THE TOTEM Column one: Part of the cast of In Hinky Doodle Town, Kenneth Monesmith and Helen Flaig. The annual Christmas tree. Why the Booster Club blushes,-bottoms up. lThis was supposed to have been a silhouettej Column two: Health hints. Some more Yankee-Doodles who went to town, --Bob Klopfenstein, Bud Schrom, Ralph Dale, and Don Sinish. The Spirit of '76 in '34. A typical commencement service. Column three: Mrs. Stucky, baker of pies, extraordinary. South Side's original iron woman, W'e'd give the little lady a big hand,-but-somebody beat us to it.

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THE TOTEM S-wi - 2 We Top Row: The three little pigs leaving school. Reservoir Park-a source of cold-weather enjoyment. What's the opinion of three against eighteen hundred. The reservoir of the Totem circulatory system. Second Row: There're two sides to every question. just before class. Two of South Sicle's famed attend- ants. Waiting for the straszbahn. Third Row: Legs go places, Mama. Waiting for the lcnell that summons thee- - -. A go-getter of acls. Quick, Henry, the Flit. Fourth Row: Ora Davis and Al Heinie, two cronies. A motley crowd, Yes! It's Doris Holzwarth. Up she goes again.

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THE TOTEM Utopian Daze By BYRON SPIEGEL The facts and figures aren't quite clear, but, as I remember it, I woke up all of a sudden in a strange room. Ar first, I just lay there and looked around me. The room had neither walls nor ceiling, but, in- stead, seemed to be half a hollow sphere placed on a black plane. The light that illuminated the room was coming from behind this shell. As I raised myself, I noticed that the bed on which I lay was one of those types that had a mattress which sank a foot and springs which sank a foot. Not only were my two feet sunk, but my hands, arms, head, and body were sunk also. I was sunk, or had a sinking spell without the aid of a sinking fund. About that time I had a feeling that someone else was in the room. You know, that feeling that makes you want to turn around. Upon looking around, I saw a very graceful fshe was the three graces in onej and charming young lady coming toward me. I-Ier smile was so disarming that she would be an ideal represen- tative at a peace conference. As she was all decked out in white, I imagined myself in a hospital or a factory where cigars are made that are not touched by human handsf, Thinking I was in the former place, I began to feel myself and was greatly relieved to find myself in one piece. She, however, informed me fshe must have been a mind reader, that I was in a clinic. She no sooner had spoken than two bearded and bespectacled old men entered. They were dressed very strangely. As a matter of fact, they might have been wearing Russian pajamas, like the pretty red ones I once had. These suits, or whatever you call them, were skin tight, just like something that's streamlined. They both chuckled as I eyed them, and finally one, who because his mental superiority had evidently stepped off the comic page, came and sat on a bench by my bed. After a few moments of reliection, during which time he looked like a monkey in a,zoo or a high school pupil, he applied something to my chest that looked like a stethoscope and told me to stop admiring the young lady, as the sound of my heart was breaking his ear drums. So at his incessant requests, my fancies turned from thoughts of love. He then started to make a thorough examination of my poor frame. Ar this point even I would have and did become inquisitive and ask for an explanation. To begin with he introduced himself as Doctor Arian. As I was about to tell him who I was, he mentioned my name. This, of course, astonished meg but he had gone on and introduced his friend, whose name I have forgot- ten, and my nurse, Aglia. I-Ie then stated that the date was June l, 2934. At this, I let out a groan that must have shaken the surrounding seven counties, and passed off into another sleep. Upon being revived, I asked where I was. Doc Arian's smiling countenance went to a superlative cle- gree as he said one word, Utopia. I-Ie stated that I could inspect the country as soon as I regained strength. I-le added that during my thousand years' sleep, everything had been discovered and put to practical use. I-Ie said this might shock me, and it was as if electricity had been passed through meg but he reassured me I would get used to it. He mentioned that he would personally show me around, but I de- clined, saying that his time was undoubtedly precious and perhaps the fair young lady would act as my guide. I-le smiled and said it was to be as I desired it. For the next few days I did nothing but Cat my carbohydrates, fats, and proteins, which were put up in the form of crackers, wafers, and capsules. On the day I was preparing to sally forth on my tour of inspection, the doctor came in and told me I would see a number of people I had known, as a large number of people had been overcome by gas in the conscious- twentieth century and had just recovered ness that year. At this I took great delight, and Aglia and I stepped out of the house into the transporta- tion belt. We hadn't gone very far 'till I saw a person with the most gosh-awful frown. As he passed us, it came to me that he must be a cartoonist I once knewl. Upon reaching home, I turned on the television radio and was just in time to see a preacher and hear him say, I pronounce you man and wife. As I looked closer, I was able to recognize the face and frame of a brick-topped friend? of mine that fell for a poetical valedictorian. And upon taking a second look I discovered that the girl by his side was the poetical valedictorian.3 That evening I asked Aglia a number of questions. The first was about the existing government. To that she replied that the people were so perfect that there was no need for govrnment. Next, I asked what was happening in the held of arts and literature. After a moment she said that because there were no more original plots, there hadn't been a book written in the last century. As for the arts, that field was also worked out. I then asked how men spent their time. She said that during the first thirty years of their lives, men got their education and training. Then they worked from two to three years. For the remaining hundred hfty years, they just read andreread volumes of other centuries. One of the greatest works, he told, was a great American novel written by Herman O. Makey. 112