South Side High School - Totem Yearbook (Fort Wayne, IN)

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THE TCTEM his specs. There's no way for him to get any more down there either, and he thinks that everything yellow is gold. The heat got him a little, too, and every week he 'rolls into Rio' with a wheelbarrow of dandelion blossoms and tries to pass 'em off for legal tender. They rell me Herb Banet went to Tibet, rejoined the other, You know women are awful scarce there, and he got a job in a dressmaker's shop modelling womenis clothes. Pd sure like to see Herb walking around in his negligeef' Look, here is somethin, about Bob Christen,', said Meigs, He went down to Turkey and started a drug store. The natives all went heavy for his jig saw puzzles, and he became wealthy enough to support a really magnificent harem. Jane Vesey has become a great journalist, accord- ing to 'Who's Who',,7 Bob exclaimed. She special- izes in writing testimonials for patent medicines. Her fame is nation wide, west of the Mississippi, they call her 'Konjola Kate', east of the Mississippi, they call her 'Hannah of the Magic Herbs'. In Canada, she is known as 'Polly Pinkham', and at home-well, they just call her 'Daisyfil Libby Yaple is quite a writer too. She and M. Stults write confession stories for the pulp paper periodicals. About a month ago, they were going through a circus lor in search of local color. Hearing a commotion, they hurried around the corner of the Fat Lady's Tent and saw Louie Adler ballyhooing for a side show. He was dressed in a flaming checked suit. He was shouting himself hoarse, and his stentorian tones could be heard for half a mile. Entering the side show, they found Mary Jane Kelsey, posing as the fat lady. Maininyl How that child had grown. Farther along in the tent, they encountered Dick Lankenau, whose advertising read, 'Roscoe, the man who eats rodents alive., His raw diet seemed to have rendered him surly, for the only reply he offered to their polite questioning was, 'Aw ratsl' U What's become of Ron Staley and George Perk- ins? asked Mr. Meigs. Why, they've been running a fine large feed shop over on east Main Street for the past twenty years. Here's one of their ads in this evening's News. Perkins and Staley Feed Company Hogs feed a specialty You'll never regret trying our A grade Hog feed Drop in and give our hog feed a test Bring in your hogs Are your hogs thin and weak? Do other farmers sneer at them? Buy our special hog feed and put 100 pounds on your hogs in a month. You'll like our Hog Feed. 113 Remember those brothers, Robert and Richard Parnin? asked Mr, Feustel with a chuckle. Ron Staley told me yesterday that they went to China try- ing to find out how to become Siamese Twins. They have their eye on a vaudeville contract I guess. Suddenly the old men's train of happy memories was rudely shattered by a nearby pounding. Looking up they perceived a weather-beaten old man shouting for attention. Thin red hair floated about his temples and a gnarled and knotty cane was impatiently beat- ing the Hoor. My namels Bevingtonf' he shrilled, and I want to buy a crate of pretzels. 'cYe ainlt no kin t' Forrest Bevington, are ye, asked Mr. Meigs. uKin to ,im,,' indignantly cried the wizened pa- triarch, 'Q1 am Forrest Bevington, and I want tl buy them pretzels. Speedy introductions were soon made, and the newcomer, happy with his old friends, settled down cn the bench alongside. Me and Byron lVlann's a'running a fust class pool room over on Pearl Street, he ventured. We call it iBevington's Billiard Bazaarf and it's a sure enuf fust rate establishment. Byronis getting a little shaky on his pins, thoughg an' I have to do most of the work. He married Mary Osborne a while back, and he ainit been good fer much sincef, Do ye boys recall old Jesse Barrett? he con- tinued. He,s runnin' a colored church in New York now. Folks come from all over the city, an, he con- verts nigh onto 500 darkies a dayf' MT ran into Wendell Lanning the other day,7' put in Harold. He never could figure out what sort of profession to follow, and five years ago he got des- perately in need of ready cash. For lack of a better v.ay to earn it, he shaved off all his hair except a sprout in the middle, trained this to grow up straight, painted a circle on his head. and hired himself out for a sun dial. For some reason the idea seemed to click. Soon he had a waiting list of 113 people, so he trained his wife, she used to be Ruth Rohrbaugh, the same way. They made lots 0' moneyg their only trouble is that their heads gets terrible sunburnt and peel off about once a month. Sure looks funny when they walk down the street, like a body had been whit- tling on their heads an, fergot to dust off th' shav- 1ngs.', Kenneth Sinish sure got a tough break, said For- rest, soberly shaking his head. He trained fifteen years to be a pathological bacteriologistg and when he started to practice his profession, he found that no one knew what it meant. He spent all his money, pawned his instruments, and now is selling artichokes in Cen- tral Park. There shore were a mess of Holfmans back there in South Side, remarked Mr. Feustel. UI heard tell as how Louie Hoffman, John 1-loffman, and Louise Hoffman were doing a song and dance act in all the

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THE TOTEM Two Old Timers Get Together By HERBERT MERRILL You know, said Mr. Meigs, time shure does rip right along. The wife and I were sayin' only last Sat- urday that our golden weddin' day is right around the cornerf' He crossed his legs with a rheumatic grunt and continued, Yessir, don't seem no time at all since I was running around them halls over t' the high school, working my fool head off over that dang Totem. Never thought then that we'd be a-running a wholesale grocery when we were this old. Kinda seems to me that we might have amounted to some- thin' if we'd only triedf' Aw, we ain't done so bad as a lot of these guys,', remarked Mr. Feustel. Look at poor old George Beckes. I was readin' in the paper as how he died down south the other day. You remember he never could resist the girls? Well, he went outdoors in his bare feet down in Memphis trying to show a girl how he could pick oranges up between his toes, and he contracted hook worm and passed away. That Walt Doehrman didn't amount to much either. They say he's got a job in the maternity ward at the Lutheran Hospital singing all the babies to sleep every night. And then thereis Wayne Grodrian-remember him? He died of the hiccups, got a chronic case over at Mr. Null's house drinkin' hard likkerl No, Mr. Feustel concluded, we ain't done so badf' Mr. Meigs creaked to his feet and stretched his stiff old arms. I'd kinder like to know what hap- pened to some of those friends we had then, he cackled in his shrill old voice. Q'There's a copy of 'Who's Who' over there behind the pickle jar. Let's see if we kin find any fimiliar names in et. Reaching behind the barrel, he secured the volume and returned to Mr. Feustel and the comfortable bench. Thumbing the pages, the feeble old men sat very still for hours, punctuating their reverie with shouts of laughter and excitement as they spied a friendly name upon the printed page. Soon Mr. Meigs broke forth in a pleased chuckle, Well, well, well, hereis old Bradley Moring. He's a great doctor now, a famous surgeon. He says that he owes all his success to his wife, formerly Mad- alynne Sheets. In his early days, unable to afford cadavers, he practiced his operations on his wife. He removed her appendix, put in a new stomach, ampu- tated a leg, practiced plastic surgery on her face, and generally acquired great skill because of his loving spouse. I'1l bet we wouldn't know the old girl nowf' Here's an item about Jim Savagef' pointed out Mr. Feustel. He went to Africa in his youth as a pho- tographer for Pathe News. The tropics got him I guess. He married a barbarous native, they settled down, and now he has a lor of little 'Savages'. Imagine what became of Paul Mielke, said Mr. Miegs. He's an old bachelor, never could make up his mind whom to marry, seems as if. He runs all the joke columns in Dr. Miles, Almanac and is greatly appreciated by the farming class, who rate his publi- cation along with Sears and Roebucksf, On the next page, there cropped up a veritable army of old schoolmates. Don Becker had married his old flame, Mary Ger- hardt, and was forced to take care of her shiftless brother, George. Bob Beery is holding down the job of giving box- ing lessons to the Sea Scouts. Robert Stone led a happy and carefree existence, until one day he told the wrong joke to Miss Pittenger and died of embarrassment. Betty Sisco has achieved great fame on Broadway as a hula dancer. Ernest Cook has become a county champion wrest- ler and works out at the G. E. every Wednesday night. Esther Gcrding and Sterling Hoffman have been happily hitched and are jointly running a restaurant. It would be a big success, says the wife, If hubby didn't eat up all the profits and smoke all the cigarsf' Another joyful union is that of Nedra Kilpatrick and Bud Laubenstein. The bank has to make her special checks because her signature is Mrs, Nedra Kilpatrick Laubensteinf' Look here, said Mr. Meigs in a very startled voice, Mae Rupp has become a great geologist. At the present she is investigating the crater of Vesuvius. Look out, girlie, for it may 'rupp.', The two old cronies read silently for a time. Pres- ently Bob raised his head and soberly said, It cer- tainly is a cryin' shame about that poor old fellow, Richard Storr. There he is, still tryin' to get through high school. Seems as if he just wasnit made to learn. He's flunked in Physical Geography sixty times since we graduated. A body's sure got to give him ciedit fer tryin' anywayf, I was readin, in the 'News, about Herb Merrill last week, said Harold, He went away to college and studied mining engineering, remember? Then he went to South America in search of gold. He's pretty near-sighted so they say, and one day he broke 112

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THE TOTEM second-rate theatres about twenty years ago. They must be pretty old by now. Shouldn't wonder if they're finishing up in the county poorfarmf' Says here in 'Who's Who' that Earl Shea has be- come a great ice-wagon manufacturer in Honoluluf' Harold put in. I-Ie drags down 550,000 a year and is known to his close friends as 'One Horse Shea'. It . QM sure beats time how some of these people can stretch out their arms and rake in the cash. Look at old Walt Jurgensen. Jest think of him bein' a Swedish match king. Why, heis made a powerful lot of money runnin' a matrimonial bureau. At this point, Mr. Bevington remembered his pret- fflt Might The personnel of the '33 class Includes many a bright lad and lassg So we'll strive to relate Some tales of the great As swiftly in memory they pass. There was a young fellow named Mielke, Who had a gay manner quite silky, A11 the ladies so fair Gladly take to the air With this gallant young fellow, Paul Mielke. Ethel Johnson's a maiden so sweet That the mere sight of her gives us a treaty But I'11 tell you a secret If you're sure you can keep it- With her writing we can not compete. Miss Klingler can sing like a larkg She has eyes and long hair which are dark. All the chaps around school Became her willing tool, But Irene to their pleas would not hark. A Totem chief there once was called Meigsg For more and more copy he begs. But at last it was done, Was this Totem A-1, So no more at his work Harold pegs. There was a young fellow named Bobby, Who gazed at the stars for a hobby. zels and, having been supplied, hurried back to the pool parlors, clutching his burden under his arm. The summer afternoon was waning fast. The sun was dropping lower and lower in its westerly course, shadows were lengthening to grotesque proportions, and presumably the old grocery was shrouded in soft gloom. Still the old men sat motionless upon the comfortable bench, long forgotten memories crowding their minds. ' At length Mr. Meigs yawned and stretched until his old joints cracked. Yessir, he sighed, our gold- en weddin' day is jest around the corner. I reckon weire sure a gettin' oldf, Be Verse Each night until dawn He gazed up from his lawn, Did this young Feustel lad with the hobby. Herb Merrill was honored one day When his class made him leader, they say. The flaming youthv he is called, For, you see, he's not bald, Nor is his cranium gray. Dick Storr is quite a good fellow, He makes grades which are quite mild and mellow. The valedictory he gotg But it startles us not, For no doubt he could quote from Othello. Now Winifred, too, is quite skilled, Though a maiden of slight, graceful build. Salutatorian wise, 'Twould not be a surprise If some day shejs in the Whols Who Guild. There was a young fellow named Perkins, Who was exceedingly fond of green gherkens, One aft, at a tea He ate ninety-three, Which pickled his internal workins'. There was a young lady named Vesey, Who had a manner quite breezy, But all in a clay- Thanks to a play She was found to be tamed quite easy. -Roberta Garton 114