South Side High School - Optimist Yearbook (Newark, NJ)

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Wl THE OPTIMIST C'mon quit chcr kiddcn.” Percy said impa- tiently, you're enough to make a home-sick chinaman shave off his pig-tail.” “I've struck an idea,” cried Reggy suddenly. Is it seriously hurt?” asked Percy in a voice which was far from anxious. Write a story on the subject of Not pre- pared, offered Reggy. ignoring the other's sar- casm, you know a lot on that subject, don't you? Percy’s face showed his disgust. “That's stale. he said, we hear that in class every day. and I don't like those Hoy Scout stories any- how.” This is different.” interrupted Reggy. “my plan for the story is this. Thereupon he out- lined the whole plan of the story to his friend. Percy’s face began to clear a little. But what about the teacher. he protested, what will she say to me-------- “She won’t say anything, for you will have written a story, and besides you'll have all your classmates looking up to you for doing it. The next day Percy arrived in school quite early. He excited much curiosity, because of a bundle that he carried under his arm. Percy waited until all the other pupils had handed in their stories. Then he walked up to the desk and handed the bundle to the teacher. What is this? she demanded. Percy winked at the rest of the pupils, and then replied, That’s my story. The teacher began to get suspicious. You sit down. she said to Percy, I think I will read this story to the rest of the class. Then she began to read. Once upon a time there was a large class of Japanese boys, who all studied under the same teacher. These hoys were very smart, but among them was one boy who was smarter than all the rest. Naturally he was regarded as the leader. His name was Chop Sucy. One day all the boys ’played hookey' and went to sec a Mah Jong Game. When they returned to school the next day. the angry teach- er asked Chop Sucy what his excuse was for being absent. The hoy replied. 'Most esteemed teacher, honorable sir. my excuse for being ab- sent is very brief. As I was walking to school. 1 met an ant. This ant excited my curiosity so much that I followed it. This ant met another ant. which in turn met another ant. which in turn met another ant. which in turn met another 16

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 fogTl THE OPTIMIST Doom By Harold Hantman Dark and dreary is the hour Heaviness prevails The sweat is rolling down my brow And I do bite my nails. Terribly my heart docs pound. And my four limbs do tremble. I cannot see. I cannot think. My wits 1 can’t assemble. Frightfully my eyes do bulge. And I am in a swoon. My head feds faint, my blood is cold As I await my doom. This no doubt to some of you Seems not a state of rest But the trouble is I tell you all. I'm taking a I.atin test. Worse Than That By Thomas Winerman Gee, how can a guy write a story without inspiration?” The speaker was P. Aloysius Van Litt. His homely freckled face was clouded with vexation. Percy was a poor overworked student at the Off Side High School, and had, that day, been ur- gently requested by his Knglish teacher, to write a short story for the Pessimist, the school paper. After school was over, he had hurried home to try to get an idea as to what it would be. To make matters worse it had started to rain, and he had almost ruined his brand new clothes. “I know what! I’ll look in some old maga- zine! Maybe I’ll find some good ideas. They won’t know the difference anyhow. He began to glance thru the pages of an old year book. Perce-e-y! Percy, where are you?” “Right here mom. I aint doin’ nothin'.” You come right down here, and take your wet hat off the coffee grinder, replied his moth- er indignantly, you left your rubbers on the piano and tracked the house all up with those old magazines of yours, and I've just finished my spring cleaning, too. “Aw gee, can’t a fellow rest in peace without dying? “Pcrcival! Such language! If your Knglish teacher heard you now, she’d surely flunk you. cried his mother indignantly. Well I’m not in Knglish class now,” answered Percy grievously. You come right down here this instant, and do what I told you. Percy descended. A half hour later, he was again busied thinking up some ideas. In a few minutes he had concentrated and was heading for a solution of his troubles. Just then the doorbell rang. Again his moth- er's voice called out, Percy, see who is at the door.” Oh shucks,” exclaimed Percy, I wonder who’s visiting us at this hour. Again he descended, skipping four steps at a time—needless to say. this particular stunt had become a science to him (he had used this meth- od, trying to rush down an Up Stairway before some teacher could stop him.) Kxactly one hour later, he was once more seated in his den, puzzling over the problem of writing an acceptable story. With him how- ever. was his cousin and pal, Rcggy Marmclade Ruff. He, like Percy, had the misfortune of having parents who believed in advertising their taste for Knglish things. However the real bur- den fell upon the two boys who were guyed unceasingly by their classmates, because of their names. Rcggy, at least, did not quite live up to his middle name, for far from being sour in disposition, he was quite good-natured and witty. Here's an old magazine, full of western stor- ies. vintage of ’59,” said Percy, without looking up from the magazine. How do they start?” demanded Reggy, who had. in the short time that he had been here, taken up the responsibility of advising Percy as to a beginning for a good story. He for- tunately had not been called upon to write a story, being in a different class. “Most of them start about the same way: 'Bang! And another redskin bit the dust’,’’ Percy stated reading an extract from the magazine. That’s no good.” Rcggy replied, everyone knows that beginning. Why not start in where they are burying him.” 15

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 THE OPTIMIST ]W ant, which---- “ ‘That will do’, sai l the very angry teacher and turned to the next boy, whose handle was See Oh. ‘Most kind hearted guardian, as I was crank- ing my tin jinriksha, in order that I might take my daily lesson with you. I saw Chop Sucy walk- ing with his eyes on the ground I was very curious and thinking my most esteemed play- mate was afflicted with the heat, followed Him. fearing for his safety. I—’ “ ‘Tluit will do’,” stuttered the now very, very angry teacher. ‘What is your excuse?’ A third boy, who answered to Just Hung, replied, ‘Most respected upholder of learning, as I was trying to impart to my pig-tail a Chinese Pompadour. I glanced out the window and saw my most esteemed classmate Chop Suev, walking with his eyes on the ground, followed by my most es- teemer! classmate Sec Oh. who also had his eyes on the ground. Thinking both of them were batty, I followed them and—’ The teach- er again interrupted and demanded of a fourth boy named Pirn Pul. what his excuse was. ‘Most beloved teacher, as I was walking to school. 1 saw my esteemed playmate Chop Sucy, followed by my also most esteemed playhiatcs Sec Oh and Just Hung, walking with their eyes upon the ground. Thinking they were all off their base, I followed—' ’’ The Knglish teacher stopped reading and hur- riedly glanced thru the remaining seventy-nine pages. Her face became very red. That is a very good story, said she, only I hope the other stories have a little more variety than this one. However I will give the class a study period because of it. And she left the room. However Percy’s elation was short-lived. The teacher showed how pleased she was with his story by giving him a five on hir report card at the end of the month instead of a four. Farewell to you. ye chosen few. Ye blest of us who go; Ye who feel a tinge of joy And grief of parting know. A Farewell By D. Kraft The hope that time will write your names Upon the wall of fame. And that your good will ne’er be stained By aught of evil shame. We pray the powers of right to guide You all along the way. And give you peaceful happiness Unto the Judgment Day. 17