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Page 68 text:
Love-A feeling that you feel like you are going to have a feeling' Say, girlsg did you know one of our doctors was arrested t
that will surely make you feel like you never felt before. for exceeding the Speed limit?
Al ' ' '
- - No ha. he a ne ' 'utfmcmlef
Dr. Torrenee was heard to mutter this to himself as he left the ope- H ' S ll d J i
rating room: 1
O nog he did an appendietorey in two hours :infl a half,
HHOVV can hearts be true to eyes of blue 'Tis better to have loved a short man
When they look into eyes of brown
3 Than never to have loved :t-tall,
CWitli apologies to Bryant?
So eat that when the invitation comes
To join the host of irlle rich, which moves
' Toward those emlnlazened restaurants where each
Shall play the gourmancl in a tawclry place of show:
Then go not like the simple man of toil,
Weary and hungry, but, sure of the family doctors skill.
Approach the gorgeous spread like one who feels
That the true measure of aristocracy is but
The capacity for over-eating.
Page 67 text:
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Miss Tait- VVhat is pellagra?
Miss Bell- A new kind of flying machine just invented.
The more she ate the more the wonder grew,
That one small iBug' could hold all- she could chew.
Miss Hamilton Canaestheticing a colored patient with gas-oxygenj-
Doctor, please see if you think she is becoming cyanosedf'
the color of
Dr. Prince- VVhy, Iive been. told. that in tlzesc' cases,
the skin cuts no Figure, but if their hair should begin to get straight it is
time to stop the anaestlieticf'
Dr, Moore, just see how nicely the grass is growingg it will soon
be spring time.
Pshawl I knew that a week ago, got a bill from the millinersf'
Nurse, to Patient- You are badly hurtg I want to give you an alco-
Are you sure that I am not hurt internally?,'
Demerits may come and demerits may go, but we forget forever.-
Brownie and Betty.
I-Iasn't that patient got the hiccough worse?
No, indeed! She has a spasmodic contraction of the diaphragmf,
At the bedside of a patient who was a noted humorist, live doctors
were in consultation.
The sick man overheard the discussion, and, after listening for a few
moments, he turned his head toward the group and whispered with a
dry chuckle: '
Just send in your bills, gentlemeng that will bring it on at once.
Two doctors were operating on a man for appendicitis. After the
operation was completed one of the doctors missed a small sponge. The
patient was re-opened, the sponge found within, and the man sewed up
again. Immediately the second doctor missed a needle. Again the pa-
tient was opened and closed.
Gentlemen,', said thelvictim. as they were about to close him up
for the second time, for I-Ieaven's sake, if ou're ffoino' to kee this un,
H y D is D 1
put buttons on me.
A soldier in the Philippines was nursed through rice fever- On his
recovery he thanked the nurse like this: '
Thank you very much, ma'am, fer yer kindness. I shan't never fer-
git it. If ever there was a fallen angel you're one. A
A well known physician was examining a class of nurses who had
served their appointed time in the hospital. The candidates filed past
him, and to each he addressed a question calculated to show the nurse's
efficiency. In one of the questions he described the condition of a patient
and asked the nurse how much morphine, in her opinion, should be ad-
ministered to the sufferer.
Eight grains, promptly replied the nurse. A
The doctor made no comment, and the girl passed on. W'lien,l1er
turn came again she appeared greatly confused, and said to the -xam-
iner: Doctor, I wish to correct the answer I made last time. I meant
to say that one-eighth of a grain should be given to the patient.
Too late, remarked the physician, without looking up from his
question paper. The man's dead. ,
A medical student asked a famous surgeon: VVhat did you operate
on that man for?
Two hundred dollars . replied the surgeon.
Yes, I know thatf, said the student. I mean what did the rnan
Two hundred dollarsf' replied the surgeon.
Page 69 text:
The Big Four
This courteous bunch of the S. H. I. '
Begins each morn when the moon's still high,
And all day long pursue their way,
Till the shades of night o'ertake the day.
And, O, my! my! much can be said-of
Pete and D. and Jim and Ed. '
'Tis work and hustle from morn to night,
Xvith a pleasant smile and a heart that's light:
And, 0, my! my! how dear and sweet
Are D. and Jimmy and Ed and Pete.
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And this to the man who gives the pills,
Vlfho cures the sick of all their ills:
The stomach is known to be his pet,
And with the pump he'll get it yet.
And it, O, my! my! can 116' be beat,
This bright and scientific Parte.
And this to the man with the princely name,
VVhose swiftness will be known to fame,
His motto is to do it note:
without excitement or a rowg
And, 'tis, 0, my! my! when all's said,
There!s 110110 who equals our Ed.
And this to the man who gives the dope,
Wfhose patients know they've every hope
Qi waking up to sing his praise,
And this they do their live-long days.
And, O, my! my! how good of him-
Always on time is lovely Jim.
And this to the youngest of the four,
XWho's known to all as D. S. Moore.
A great success he's proved to be,
In love as well as surgery.
And, 0, my! my! how good 'twould be
To have as many friends as D,
And when we leave these wards and halls
And sit up nights and wait for calls- 1
O, my! 1ny! my! how dear 'twill be
To work for Ed and Pete and D.
yt' - H--' H A - - --'--f-f-v- Y---Y .. Y-
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