Saratoga Springs High School - Recorder Yearbook (Saratoga Springs, NY)

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THE HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER 9 i0:0:0:050:OEOEOEOEOEOEOSOEOSOEOEOEOEOC had just gone to interview Virgil for the Hades Associated Press. Suddenly I heard loud shouting in the next room. George Kirk- patrick and Sid Smith, formerly most valuablelplayers of the National and American Leagues respectively, were arguing as to who should captain the team that was to play Pluto's team. It looked as if George would be elected, for he had a big bat in his hand. More loud shouting and still another argument. Spencer Rowley had become indignant because Louis Kirschenbaum had intimated that someone else had written one of Spenceris plays. Spencer called in the publishers, Elizabeth Wandell and Mary Breyo, as witnesses. But Louis was not convinced and continued to argue. Times do not change. Bob McAllister, I was informed, was putting on a big musical revue for the Hades Vodvil Company, featuring Jeanne Tolmie and Inez Betts, with a supporting cast of Lillian Louber, J o Brisbin, Alice Herrick, Lillian Klein, Claire Levine and Gladys Qua. This same cast, whose music was written by Donald Peets and Katherine Rhoades, had run three years in London, three years in New York and two nights in Saratoga Springs. I decided to go see the ball game between the Allerdice All Stars, managed by Wallace Allerdice and captained by George Kirk- patrick, and Plutois Prides. On the way I noticed Mary Krumal, Louise G-allett and Marguerite Maddock throwing bones to Cerberus to see if he could catch one in each month at the same time. I arrived at the Elysian Field just as the game began. Plutois Prides were at bat. Herc'ules, Atlas and Macbeth quickly fanned out on Stan Whiteis delivery. But Samuel J ohnson, who was pitching for Pluto, talked so much that the batter became weary and was unable to hit the ball. Then the board of strategy, Carolyn Curtis and Margaret Delaney, sent in a whole new team of girls. Alma Gertz pitched, Helen Grande caught, Alice Whitlock played first, Mary Ellen Wood- cock played second, Hannah Temple played shortstop, and Vera Hurd played third. The outfield consisted of Clarabelle Burton, Florence Holmwood and Helen Schwartz. This aggregation of stars held Plutois team scoreless and caused J ohnson to lose control of the ball by walking to the plate. The girls razzed J ohnson, telling him what a punk job he hadsmade of his dictionary, but he came right back with a few razzes from Rasselasf' When I returned to the Houseboat, I found a mass meeting in full progress. Nathan Berkowitz, late Speaker of the House of Repre-

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8 THE HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER DOEOEOEOEO:0:0:OEOEOEOEOEOEOSOEOEOEOEOC CLASS PROPHECY BY JOSEPH OUELLETTE Brr-r-tat-tat-tat! The black touring car swung around another corner. ' ttOh boy 1 I gasped, ttwhat a story Pt I elbowed my way through the crowd, and asked who was the Victim. AThatts Bill Scottf I was answered. ttTheytve been trying to kill him for the last thirty-five yearsfi I rushed down to my desk in the ttChicago Daily Weeklytt and sat down at my typewriter. I wrote a wonderful story which came out in big headlines in the afternoon edition. As I walked contentedly up the street, I saw the same black touring car draw up to the curb. One of the men leaned out and said, ttYou think youtre smart, writing that stuff, huh? and hurled a revolver at my head. I had a nice big,r funeral, I hear. As I walked down to the bank of the Styx, I noticed a sign say- ing, ttOBOLI, TAKE ONE? But the box of oboli which had been there so many centuries was gone and I had to swim the Styx. When I arrived on the other side, I saw none other than James Bendon with the box under his arm. There I found out that I had been the last surviving member of the class and that the whole class was living on a houseboat. I found the boat and entered. The first sight that met my eye was Fred Wilhelm, blissfully stretched in slumber over four chairs. I crossed the room to a stage and found Earl, Thomas and Nellie Spaulding rehearsing a dance act for the ttBalI of the Shades? I again crossed the room, and a ttQuiet, please? almost startled me out of my wits, but I turned and saw George Wright, turning out poetry by the ream. In the billiard room, Wil- liam Barnes, Robert Ensley and Traver Hecht were trying to entice Charon into a game of pool while Nils Ryden looked sadly on. It was plain to be seen that Nils disapproved such frivolity in Hades. Web Desjardins was sitting in a big chair looking tern over, trying to pick the winner for the fifth race. He placed his bet with Domin- ick Lambert, who was acting as agent for Carey and Evans, the bankers who had cornered all the worlds cash while they were on earth. Marjorie Acome was practicing for her debut at the Hades Opera Company. Doris Allerdice, Ruth Foote and Harriet Fuller

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10 THE HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER NJ:1OEOEOEOSOGOEOEO:OSOEOEOEOEOGOEOEOEOC sentatives the's early n-owi, had just called the meeting to order. Ken Vincent, the millionaire manufacturer of yo-yos, rose and moved that Pluto be overthrown and one of our class be made king. Helen Burnham, the famous senator, seconded the motion and everyone voted in favor of this plan. A committee was appointed to discuss this matter and to devise a plan of action. The committee was made up of Kathryn Kuon, Rex Millen, David Linchitz and Marion Hunter. The Commitee sent Estelle Polacsek and Ruth Green to spy on the royal palace. So it dame about that on a dark, stormy night tthe Ides of Marchi after a reception given the Potter Sisters, the famous poet- esses, by Pluto, Pluto was being entertained by Selma Goldbaum and Sylvia Ginsberg, the famous night club hostesses. Ruth Cornell, Nettie Mironson and Mildred Cummings each hit Cerberus on the head at the same time. Then at exactly the right moment into the royal chamber stepped Henry Schwaner, James Murray, Charles J ohnson, Milton Rashkin, Bernard Rumpf, Leroy Tooker and Vernon Tyger, all former members of Scottis gang. Each held in his arms a sub-machine gun. When Pluto started to move, he was hit in the heart by thirty-eight bullets. Now it was necessary to choose a new king and a new judge. John Btumstead took the job which King Minos had held, but it was a hard job to select a king. The name of Socrates was mentioned, but when the name ttLynchn was murmered, the meeting jumped to its feet, cheering and waving arms. John was elected king by a unanimous vote. The first thing the new king did was to make a few changes in the personnel. In spite of his protests of the ttspoils system, Orpheus was fired as court musician and in his place was appointed a trio of Arnold Peets, Ruth Thomas and Mary Morrison, under the direc- tion of Eleanor Millis, James Jackson was given the job of court historian. I heard something to the effect that the new administra- tion was going to save a lot of money by having William Ehrgott teach the souls to swim the Styx, and thus eliminate the need for a boatman. On a brightsunny day tMarch 4i, therefore, John Lynch was crowned as King J ohn the First and Only. Mae Robbins and Annabel Tyger delivered his inaugural address and the administration was launched. Everyone is happy, as indeed he should be with such a ruler, and everyone is feeling so good that it is even possible that our former teachers may be admitted to our circle. Who knows?