Saratoga Springs High School - Recorder Yearbook (Saratoga Springs, NY)

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10 THE' HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER was calling the old familiar statiOnseWaterford! Ballston! Saratoga! The first thing that struck my eye at the station was a cinder. After we had disposed of this, we looked around and then we saw them, Faust Farone and George Griffen. George was on the point of say- ing, ttWhat do you say we have a darn good chaw of gum, when, seeing us both, his jaws dropped and the gum was forgotten. When the customary gossip had commenced, we learned that Martin Behr had at last attained his much-suppressed desire to be the head-gardener at Madison Square Garden; that Philip Baker was now the proud choir-leader of the Salvation Army. With much gusto, Faust Farone called over Carl Baldwin from the bathing- beauty magazine stand. With little astonishment-we had always suspected itewe learned that he was on a much needed vacation from his position as life-saver at Niagara Falls. He said Harriet Nesbit was his popular assistant and that Alice Ferguson was chief guide to sightseers at the Falls. Just after we had made our adieux to these, we started to leave the station when suddenly we spied a huge poster, on which was capitalized, ttFight for the Lightweight Championship of the World Between Charles Bird and Lois Casey. Just then we had the bright idea of telephoning for a taxi. Naturally we got into a dispute with the operator when a tired voice broke in, tiRobert Cummings, quarrel arbitrator, speaking? With his assistance, I managed to get a garage and procure a taxi. Who should the driver be but Gladys Bahil. She informed us that Ena Casey had earned the cognomen of the Ameri- can French-Woman because of her knowledge of French; Aleda Carey had become a hair-dresser, with Bertha Burpee,, recommended by Miss Scutt, for her secretary. Unexpectedly I yelled ttStop! Stop! Let me out P For in Star- buckis window was Lucius Croxten in the latest menis suit. Just then an awful combination of odors assailed my nostrils and there at a counter was Bernice C. Carhart trying to persuade James Ferrara to change his perfumed stacomb. I am afraid that she did .not succeed. At that moment Irene Viele, who was returning from her work at the Grippen Ice Company, told us that Nelson Hastings was now manager of his father-in-lawis business, though it is often asserted that Marjorie is the real manager. We also learned that M. Blackwell Starke had received a title from the King of England, and, to add to his joy, had married Emily Leek, a noted Ziegfield beauty, who attributed her looks and her perfect form to eating Edith Schmitfs holeless doughnuts. Upon leaving Irene, we went over to Hudlin Hotel jointly owned by Huldah Heslin and Vivian Hudson, to secure

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THE HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER CLASS! PROPHECY BY MARY GIFFEN AND DONALD MCNAUGHTON Cohoes! Waterford! Ballston! and Saratoga!-Since, as usual, I could not understand any of the stations, I walked up to the announcer to ask if this was the train to Saratoga. Instead of making the usual curt reply, he suddenly grabbed both my handseand lo and behold- it was my old school-mate, Ralph Stark. Just then, of course, the train whistle blew and I rushed back to gather up Professor Nichols, Bill Collector Extraordinary on behalf of the Electric Light Co. to the Northern Lights. After seeing that I was comfortably fixed in the Pullman, the professor went into the smoker to enjoy one of his big, black cigars. It was rapidly growing dark when the professor returned with a guilty look upon his face. After a little questioning, I learned that he had been drawn into a game of poker by Paul Kellogg. And Paul was to have been a minister! At the card table were DeForest Lowen, a prohibition lecturer, his co-worker Thelma Johnson, and in no way least, Oz Millward, now a prosperous boot- leggereof Latin translations long since outlawed in U. S. In the courSe of the game, J ohn lost all of his possessions except one stamped envelope. To add to his sorrow, he had learned from the conductor that his four companions were the most notorious band of card sharps now in operation. Just as the professor was about to take his seat, I was thrown violently forward into his arms by the sudden stopping of the train. Almost as suddenly, two masked figures appeared in the door with a demand for our money or our lives. The professor stepped forward at once and handed them the stamped envelope. Just then a big, manly form arose from across the aisle and, brandishing a pistol, began to shoot out the lights. The bandits started to run and the hero, whom I saw to be J oseph McNeil, began shooting at their backs. A low piteous wail arose as a poor little man whom I discovered to be John Wells importuned our savior, ttShoot me in the plus-fours- the coat and vest are mine. Eventually the bandits were captured and turned out to be Martin Lerner and Ford McAllister. By this time the train crew were coming back along the tracks, Rollin Allen, the gentlemanly engineer, driving before him two other bandits who had attempted to take his beloved engine away from him. These were Helen Kirkpatrick and Helen Uveges, who con- fessed to being the leader of the band. After the bandits had been safely stowed away in the baggage car under the care of the brawny express guard, Pete Chiperno, the train got under way again and soon Norman Glacey, the conductor,

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THE HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER 11 a nightis lodging. After getting a suite of rooms, we entered the grill for dinner. Because of Ralph Ellsworth,s prompt attention, we soon had a very good meal. Upon leaving, we were handed a cook-book which explained how the different foods were prepared by Otis Zealey. To our inquiries concerning amusement Ralph answered that the show at the Congress-Palace was sure a ttthriller, and that, in addition, there would be vaudeville and Pathe News. We had just seated ourselves in the peanut gallery, when the curtain went up and the news reel showed that at last one of our old playmates had realized his ambition. Charlie Kennedy was now Mussolini, ruler of all except his wife-nee Sylvia Zukerman. The feature picture was ohe of the desert, Which featured Clifford Farr riding up on a fiery steed and carrying off Elizabeth Peck, who later was saved through the super-human efforts of her co-star, Robert Lawrence, to whom in the final fade-out, she pledges her eternal love. Then came three acts of Keith vaudeville and it must be admitted that they were ttterrible? The head-liners were Francis Smith and Nate Feld- man, who presented a classic dancing act. After the performance, the professor met Milton Porter and Donald McNaughton who dragged us out to a soft drink establishment, which was run by J ohn Collins and Bill Davis. After a few ttnuth sundaes, we began to recall the ttgood old days? So many of the old gang had turned out to be teachers-Perry Kelsey. for instance, was now teacher of aesthetic dancing at Skid- more. Efnor Vanderwerker was head professor of Palmer Method Handwriting at the old High School. Vesta Santabar was now Mr. N eilanis assistant and in her annual demand for a higher salary, ,had said that Donald Thomas, children alone qualified her for it, since they invariably played tthookyti or slept too late in the morning. Florence Ellsworth was head of the Board of Latin Regents. J ust then the doorbell rang and I answered it. It was Florence Griffen asking me to tell Leroy Stiles that he was to come home at once- that this was the last time she would drag him away from that crowd. As that interruption sort of broke up the party, we went over to the Cogan restaurant, which was run by Elizabeth Cogan. The first dance after we came in was a Black-Bottom-Charleston by George Bartholomew. We must say that the kid isnit missing when it comes to using his feet. At a table bench were Ruth and Vesta Smith with their lawyer, Germaine Wheldon. I gathered from their conversation that they were being sued by Smith Bros. for making a new kind of cough-drops and calling it Smith Sisters. As I was about to speak to them John Wilhelm appeared on the scene and held forth a long vime on golf, the gist of which was the fact that Thomas Christopher