Saratoga Springs High School - Recorder Yearbook (Saratoga Springs, NY)

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THE HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER 27 great Metropolis, New York City, where we were first attracted by a mam- moth sign on the top of a big building. A small figure was moving back and forth on a scaffold painting a beautiful picture on it. And a closer view revealed none other than our old friend and champion artist of S. H. S., Marion Collins. It seems she has made good CU use of her talents. Another word from the medium called up a view of the museum at the Battery Park, of which the proprietor turned out to the that old keeper of our Shekels back in l25,eAnldly Reynolds. He looked very prosperous in that role, too. And there, also, in a mummy case, We saw a very familiar face. It was not a real mummy either, as we learned later, 7lbut only Agnes Traver, who some- times substituted for one. Another attraction consisted of, or was, the Beard tedl Lady, Helen Lynch. This strange characteristic was probably another result of History C! Well, after the vision of the Battery, We let our gaze rove uptown, where we saw a large crowd watching the famous gymnast, Edna Bailey, walking acmss Broadway, forty stories up, on a slack wire. And farther on we dis- covered :a diminutive but vociferous individual, whom we recognized as Alice Sprain, vendimg news;snot in the usual manner, but 'by the simple expedient of shouting i-t aloud at the palssers-by. This is quite the thing now; it saves the unnecessary expense of newspapers, and brings into play a singular char- acteristic acquired in high school life. Suddenly We sensed a. great com- motion, in front of Berlin, Kaufman 8r, Berlinls elite Junk Parlors, which were located near the famous Modiste Shoppe of Mesda-mes Marguerite Clunis and Alsace lKing-tnot Laminel. This shop tnot the junk onel-is famous for its million. dollalj creations and its mannequins, two of Whom we recognized as Mary Galaise and Letitia Guard. But returning to the commotion, we found it to: be caused by a squadron of taxi-drivers tearing down Fifth Avenue in wetdge formlaltion and sweeping everything before them. The leader of these rampant enemies of life and property was ROIg Kiley, who was set more firmly and whose eyes flashed forth more threatening pencils of light than they ever did in any football game. And has his tuxi-driving followers Whirled by we could barely distinguish the firmly set visages of Pat zLalBelle, Liz Durrin, Helen Eddy and Genevieve Burd'iclk. No doubt all this might be a new way of clearing up a traffic jam. Anld themelike the peaceful calm after a storm,estrolllinlg along in the thread wake of the flying wedge, came a benevolent looking apology for a hobo, with a signwon his back reading: WFlrlom New York to San Francisco and Back on Ninety-eight Cents! We eloruld guess who it was. before we saw his face-the wandering boy, Paul Thomas! Our last view thru the magic ball was one apropos to the ending of any tale. It was of the Little Church Around the Crorner, where a wedding was being solemnized, avnid as the radiant lbrirde land blushing bridegroom stepped fmm the door, we saWeAlice Smith and George Ehemann! So they finally got uptoor George! Well, that was too much, even fer a crystal ball, and so a result of the terrific strain to Which we had put it for the last two hours, its light suddenly flickered and went out. The mom was in total and unmis- takable darkness. We all sat there in the ominous blackness somewhat stupefied' :and not a little perturbed. Then, slowly ibut distinctly, weirdly, yet with the deepest sincerity, a hollow voice seemingly coming from the Crystal Ball, uttered in actual words that which we had perceived to be the theme of the whole revelation: Lord! What fools these mortals be!

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26 THE HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER If she was Mr. B'eachis successor, then the position was indeed well-fillcd. As for the faculty that was in 1925, we found some startling develop- ments. Mr. Kelly was no longer gym coach, but was still in the school, as a lecturer, and itis said he will lecture on any subject, on any occasion. And Miss German, no longer an interpreter of Shakespeare, but rather his rival, was writing pliaylets with this one particular idea in view: that there should be no ambiguous passages, either in the stage directions or in the lines; such as confused the class of 25! But .the greatest surprise of this kind came when we saw Mr. Mosher, as construction manager in a large concern, in the act of modeling bird-hoiuses after the plant of the High School. Of course, he was using his knowledge gained during the houn: spent in view- ing the construction of the then new building, fifteen years ago. As our glance took in the city as a whole, we noticed that it had inn creased a great deal in size. And this, in turn had given rise to the in- vention of a peculiar phenomonon whose purpose was to alleviate the diffi- culty of walking up and down the streets. The richly-rewardied inventor of this device, the I'budding apostle of Thomas EdisoneiHenr'y Robinson. And the aforementioned device was nothing more than a moving sidewalk. On the street corners we saw various operators who were shifting gears racing the motors, and otherwise manipulating the machinery of the walks. The most prominent ones were: Dot Kendrick, corner of Elm and Oak Streets; Helen Emerson, rcorner of Caroline Street and High Rock Avenue; and Helen Fitzgerald, corner of East Avenue and Beekman Street. Another brilliant development that had as its object the animation of things in general, Was the substitutions of people for the old silent policemen at street corners. They had made wise selections from the applicants for these positions: Cora Holmes, Essie Sherin, Anna Christopher, Ruth Butler, and Miriam Duffy being the lucky ones chosen. They had been trained to perfection for their new capacities hy Matraz'zo 8: Freeman, famous oculists who had stuck by the 01d bung and had taken up the occupation whiich Ic'oncerned those facial ongans which they had used with such proficiency in High School. The object of all this coaching was to train the silent CU police- man to blink in four ldirections at once, even as the silent Ipolicemen did of old. Speaking of policemen, there is still opposition to law and order, the moist flagrant being a leakage of Coca Cola into the United States from Canada. One of the famous Sroftvdrink-runners who boldly defies: the Federal statute against any beverage whatever, is Walt McNaughton, who by devious and sundry willeis has drawn Lue Sturrdievan and Phloebe Biurpee into the business as his accomplices. Of course no one would suspect them, and so he is made to feel secure. But he and his fellow boiot'limbers such as George Appleton and Erve Hannon, better watch out,- there was a time when Macbeth felt secure, too! Another singular feature of the old town, disclosed by a parting look, was the fact that the races were held all year 'round, but this wa-synot whaxt surprised us most. For we found that Schuyke Bussiinig was now as famous as Ealrle Sandevused to be. Youid never have thought that he would be able to train himself down to the required dimensions for a jockey! Well, old Saratocga had gotten this far, anyway! Our next glimpse, as Stan muttered another charm-Word, was of the

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THE HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER -by us. shown most proficiency in the Science Department. for the highest success in their future undertakings. paper with the headlines, uStudent Shoots Teacher. thanks for the success of iiQuality Stneet. a Social Center. interesting speeches. restraint at the said Napoleonis demise. unused wbraints may be goaided to function properly. are you 1ate?', Class. would go ra-Mlaying when they should be in school. nights if they do not Beat Glens Falls. LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF THE CLASS OF TWENTY-FIVE We, the Seniors of Saratoga Springs High School, having been declared at sane mind and an occasional idea, do herewith make, ordain, and establish this as our last will and testament, hereby revoking all former wills made We direct that all our just debts be paid. All our remaining possessions, real and imaginary, we give, devise, and bequeath as follows: First, To the Saratoga Springs HighVSehool a fund of $100.00 from what- ever balance remains to us after tour just debts have been paid, the interest on said sum .to be applied to a yearly prize to whatever Senior shall have Second, To the departing members of the faculty our very best wishes Third, To all the members of the faculty a clipping from a recent news- Fourth, To Miss Lena Smith our hearty congratulations and earnest Fifth, To those Juniors who long to be actors and actresses the unipar- allieled pleasures of the rehearsals which they will no doubt enjoy in their futile attempt to stage a play comparable to Quality Street. Sixth, Toithe student body of S. H. S. this most excellent Hall of Learning to be used in the pursuit of knowledge and education, not as Seventh, To the undleirclassmen, especially the Frosh, several hundred booklets entitled itThe Care of the Grounds and Buildings, by the Faculty. Eighth, To Miss Elizabeth German the empty heads of fourscore Juniors, said heads t0 the filled with Milbonis delightful poetry and Burkeis most Ninth, to the tiny puss, Cicero Julius Virgil, the rights of absolute monarch over the spacious new building until his Royal Napoleon, the Senior Cat, shall convdescend t0 betake himself from the degenerated, but once imposing structure which formerly protected the students of S. H. S. from the wintry blasts, the said Virgil to rule without Tenth, To Mr. James E. Haifleisgh a. few dozen aspiring; history students to be annalled by his broadside of puzzling questions, so that their heretofore Eleventh, To Mrs. Richardson, our efficient HHello-Giri, the power of overawinlg the most delinquent young men and women by her ifemcious iiWhy Twelfth, To Miss Devlin and Mr. Kelly the arduous task of making strong and sturdy Seniors from the diminutive students naow composing the Junior Thirteenth. To T. Neilan, a Noise-eradicating muffler to be installed on the tin chariot which he is wont to use in pursuit of wayward scholars Who Fourteenth, To next years athletic teams the admonition that the ghost of each former athlete of old S H. S. will pmvide them with many sleepless