Saratoga Springs High School - Recorder Yearbook (Saratoga Springs, NY)

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26 THE HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER If she was Mr. B'eachis successor, then the position was indeed well-fillcd. As for the faculty that was in 1925, we found some startling develop- ments. Mr. Kelly was no longer gym coach, but was still in the school, as a lecturer, and itis said he will lecture on any subject, on any occasion. And Miss German, no longer an interpreter of Shakespeare, but rather his rival, was writing pliaylets with this one particular idea in view: that there should be no ambiguous passages, either in the stage directions or in the lines; such as confused the class of 25! But .the greatest surprise of this kind came when we saw Mr. Mosher, as construction manager in a large concern, in the act of modeling bird-hoiuses after the plant of the High School. Of course, he was using his knowledge gained during the houn: spent in view- ing the construction of the then new building, fifteen years ago. As our glance took in the city as a whole, we noticed that it had inn creased a great deal in size. And this, in turn had given rise to the in- vention of a peculiar phenomonon whose purpose was to alleviate the diffi- culty of walking up and down the streets. The richly-rewardied inventor of this device, the I'budding apostle of Thomas EdisoneiHenr'y Robinson. And the aforementioned device was nothing more than a moving sidewalk. On the street corners we saw various operators who were shifting gears racing the motors, and otherwise manipulating the machinery of the walks. The most prominent ones were: Dot Kendrick, corner of Elm and Oak Streets; Helen Emerson, rcorner of Caroline Street and High Rock Avenue; and Helen Fitzgerald, corner of East Avenue and Beekman Street. Another brilliant development that had as its object the animation of things in general, Was the substitutions of people for the old silent policemen at street corners. They had made wise selections from the applicants for these positions: Cora Holmes, Essie Sherin, Anna Christopher, Ruth Butler, and Miriam Duffy being the lucky ones chosen. They had been trained to perfection for their new capacities hy Matraz'zo 8: Freeman, famous oculists who had stuck by the 01d bung and had taken up the occupation whiich Ic'oncerned those facial ongans which they had used with such proficiency in High School. The object of all this coaching was to train the silent CU police- man to blink in four ldirections at once, even as the silent Ipolicemen did of old. Speaking of policemen, there is still opposition to law and order, the moist flagrant being a leakage of Coca Cola into the United States from Canada. One of the famous Sroftvdrink-runners who boldly defies: the Federal statute against any beverage whatever, is Walt McNaughton, who by devious and sundry willeis has drawn Lue Sturrdievan and Phloebe Biurpee into the business as his accomplices. Of course no one would suspect them, and so he is made to feel secure. But he and his fellow boiot'limbers such as George Appleton and Erve Hannon, better watch out,- there was a time when Macbeth felt secure, too! Another singular feature of the old town, disclosed by a parting look, was the fact that the races were held all year 'round, but this wa-synot whaxt surprised us most. For we found that Schuyke Bussiinig was now as famous as Ealrle Sandevused to be. Youid never have thought that he would be able to train himself down to the required dimensions for a jockey! Well, old Saratocga had gotten this far, anyway! Our next glimpse, as Stan muttered another charm-Word, was of the

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THE HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER 25 further evidence of dramatic training obtained in S. H. -S., for we had no trouble in distinguishing two busy stagehands who were feverishly dashing about under the directions of a militant-loo'king stage-directoress,eas Hank and Frank, tWeller and McGirr respectivelyi. And there, running true to form, was- Mrs. ttM. R. R., the aforementioned directoress! Things here were so interesting and exciting that we did not want to leave this fascinating city without calling to view some 0f the comedy sets. However, we had no idea that the uGold-Nichols Co, Iukuh hamous comedy producers, had as its chief stock holders-Sara Gold and Irma Nichols, and as its star slapstick c0median-Charles Wilhelm! We could hardly recognize the latter, as he was on Location engaged in a custard-pie duel with WMad Madeline Ovitt, his leading lady. But to return to serious things again, we discovered that the ttshiek type of picture was once more in vogiie. Now who do you suppose this tall, sleekdhairetd, sophisticated, heart rendL mg Arab who out-shone Valentino as the sun out-shines a match, was? We asked Stan for a iclose-up and found the star of the silver screen to rbeeeHeim Forten! He was in the act of the final clinch of his greatest production, and the ravishing blonde whom he clutched to his solar plexus was to all air pearances, Dot Platt, altho we could have sworn she was a brunette in 25! Well, so it goes. Before our view xof. California was cut off, we discovered one more of our former actors, but he had not continued that calling. He was Harold Mc'Neal, who, having served his time as recruiting sergeant for the California State Prison, had now retired and was spending his leisure hours on a small farmkvcultivating Seed tlessi Raisins. Again the crystal ball grew dim, and when it cleared, the sight presented to us seemed strangely familiar. Suddenly we gasped in amazement. and there, before our very eyes, lay the old home town. We were wondering who had had the perseverance to stickiby the old fort for so long a time, and we were especially interested in the affairs of the High School. Here we found great changes had taken place. Student government had become so widely accepted and found to be so wholly efficient that there was no longer any need for Principal or Iteachers, except as a means for creating atmosphere. Mr. Haifleilgh could not bear the thought of leaving the 119W building, and so he still came to the office every morning, altho his entire work had been taken over by student office assistants. He occupied 9. mm- fortable wheel Chair and sat in the office now and then making suggestions as to how the work should be carried on. The real executive of the whole school was Mrs. Richardsonis successor, namely 1Dot Fitzpatrick, who seemed even busier than our former office secretary. Transferring our vision to the auditorium, we saw a play in the process of rehearsal, and there, gestilculat- ing with as much vehemence as Miss Smith had used, was Eleanor VVBSthJl. now a fullflediged teacher of elrocution. And, contrary to anything we C-ovfd have borne in 1925, in the auditorium, at the same time, the xorichestrta was blaring! forth its full volume under the direction-of Lil Vogel whose dulicet voice could be heard even above the base horn! And a glance across the hall into the machine shop revealed a busy iflgure clad in blue overalls industriously sawing off lengths of chalk for use in the school rooms. The intense concen- tration of the worker reminded us of Helen Ritchieis 01d policy of sawing woodft and a. closer investigation proved our supposition to be correct.

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THE HIGH SCHOOL RECORDER 27 great Metropolis, New York City, where we were first attracted by a mam- moth sign on the top of a big building. A small figure was moving back and forth on a scaffold painting a beautiful picture on it. And a closer view revealed none other than our old friend and champion artist of S. H. S., Marion Collins. It seems she has made good CU use of her talents. Another word from the medium called up a view of the museum at the Battery Park, of which the proprietor turned out to the that old keeper of our Shekels back in l25,eAnldly Reynolds. He looked very prosperous in that role, too. And there, also, in a mummy case, We saw a very familiar face. It was not a real mummy either, as we learned later, 7lbut only Agnes Traver, who some- times substituted for one. Another attraction consisted of, or was, the Beard tedl Lady, Helen Lynch. This strange characteristic was probably another result of History C! Well, after the vision of the Battery, We let our gaze rove uptown, where we saw a large crowd watching the famous gymnast, Edna Bailey, walking acmss Broadway, forty stories up, on a slack wire. And farther on we dis- covered :a diminutive but vociferous individual, whom we recognized as Alice Sprain, vendimg news;snot in the usual manner, but 'by the simple expedient of shouting i-t aloud at the palssers-by. This is quite the thing now; it saves the unnecessary expense of newspapers, and brings into play a singular char- acteristic acquired in high school life. Suddenly We sensed a. great com- motion, in front of Berlin, Kaufman 8r, Berlinls elite Junk Parlors, which were located near the famous Modiste Shoppe of Mesda-mes Marguerite Clunis and Alsace lKing-tnot Laminel. This shop tnot the junk onel-is famous for its million. dollalj creations and its mannequins, two of Whom we recognized as Mary Galaise and Letitia Guard. But returning to the commotion, we found it to: be caused by a squadron of taxi-drivers tearing down Fifth Avenue in wetdge formlaltion and sweeping everything before them. The leader of these rampant enemies of life and property was ROIg Kiley, who was set more firmly and whose eyes flashed forth more threatening pencils of light than they ever did in any football game. And has his tuxi-driving followers Whirled by we could barely distinguish the firmly set visages of Pat zLalBelle, Liz Durrin, Helen Eddy and Genevieve Burd'iclk. No doubt all this might be a new way of clearing up a traffic jam. Anld themelike the peaceful calm after a storm,estrolllinlg along in the thread wake of the flying wedge, came a benevolent looking apology for a hobo, with a signwon his back reading: WFlrlom New York to San Francisco and Back on Ninety-eight Cents! We eloruld guess who it was. before we saw his face-the wandering boy, Paul Thomas! Our last view thru the magic ball was one apropos to the ending of any tale. It was of the Little Church Around the Crorner, where a wedding was being solemnized, avnid as the radiant lbrirde land blushing bridegroom stepped fmm the door, we saWeAlice Smith and George Ehemann! So they finally got uptoor George! Well, that was too much, even fer a crystal ball, and so a result of the terrific strain to Which we had put it for the last two hours, its light suddenly flickered and went out. The mom was in total and unmis- takable darkness. We all sat there in the ominous blackness somewhat stupefied' :and not a little perturbed. Then, slowly ibut distinctly, weirdly, yet with the deepest sincerity, a hollow voice seemingly coming from the Crystal Ball, uttered in actual words that which we had perceived to be the theme of the whole revelation: Lord! What fools these mortals be!