Sacred Heart Hospital School of Nursing - Carmen Sylva Yearbook (Allentown, PA)

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Chuclzles CConzinuedJ N .A Patient in 'Che ward had his left foot amputated and the nurse charted, Patient complains of pain in left foot. The nurse no doubt got the information from the morgue. 'TAKING A HISTORY IS NO FUN Nurse- Who is your family doctor? Patient- I can't tell you. Nurse- Why not, don't you know his name? Patient - HYes, Doctor Iohnson used to be our family doctor but nowadays ' f mother goes to an eye specialist, father to a stomach specialist, my sister goes o a throat specialist, my brother is in the care of a lung specialist and I m taking treatments from an osteopathf' Will someone please tell Doctor Pipkin where the wire of the tonsil snare goes to after the tonsil has been removed? ,-i,,..i-- A stout lady called with a rather frail looking child. My child, said the physician, what you need is exercise. Every day before luncheon and before dinner you are to walk twice around your mother. - ,,,,,,,. . miles to see Patient - Doctor, don't you find it inconvenient to travel me? Doctor - 0h, no,I have a patie birds with one stone. nt near here so I get the chance to kill two ' sl ill objected bitterly against his surgeon's advice. I A patient, seriou y , don't believe in operations, even Scripture forbids them. The bible says: 'Nvhat God hath joined together, let no man put asunderf A

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I t men Wa Chuckles Miss Dunn - Doctor, will you please come to room 50, the patient has a temperature? Doctor Pipkin - Is it very high? Miss Dunn - Oh, no Doctor. Third floor. Exasperated Teacher of First Aid Class - Miss Rooney, if a man was drowning, what would you do? Miss Rooney - Throw water in his face. Frantic Mother - Oh, nurse, my baby swallowed a dime. Miss Monahan - But I don't see any change in him. Teacher in Class -Miss Sebastian, give me the emergency treatment for hematemesis. Miss Sebastian - Give the patient an ice cap to suck, and apply ice chips to the head. Teacher - What is another term for 'whooping cough'. Miss Fina - Croupous. Miss Allar Qrushing into parlorD Meyers, please play Napolion Nights. Dr. Boyer - What is the orbital cavity? Miss Shriner - The eye. Miss Beierschmitt - Doctor, my patient has broken out in a moist perspiration. Doctor Boyle - Did you ever see a patient in a dry one? Sister to Nurse - NGO get a bivalve speculumf' Miss Wvukitsch treturningfrom Labj They have no five ounce speculumf' Doctor Lawall - What is the patient's complaint? Nurse George - Fallen arches.

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Z Elini Eli' The Nurse The world grows better year by year T Because some nurse in her little sphere Puts on her apron and ,grins and sings And keeps on doing the same old things, Taking the temperatures, giving the pills, To remedy mankinds numerous ills, Feeding the baby, answering the bells, Being polite with a heart that rebels. Longing for home, and all the while Wearing the same old professional smile, Blessing the new-born babe's first breath, Closing the eyes that are stilled in death. Taking the blame for the doctor's mistakes, Oh dearl What a lot of patience it takes. Going off duty at seven o'clock, Tired, discouraged, and ready to drop. But called back on special at seven-fifteen With woe in her heart but it must not be seen. Morning and evening and noon and night Iust doing it over and hoping it's right. When we lay down our caps and cross the bar, Oh, Lord, will you give us just one little star To wear in our crowns with our uniforms new, I In that city above where the Head-nurse is You. --Seleded. qaenll if, f- iflogn Q X'