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Page 108 text:
llxliss Heilman-"Violet, you are not study-
ing your typewriter the way you should. Helen
already has a good position."
Violet-"Yes, but Helen has an advantage.
She is crosseyed and she can watch her copy
and her machine at the same time."
"I'll show you who is yellow," said the egg
as it broke its shell and ran all over the actor.
we wk 1:
"He is a Witty lad, isn't he ?"
"No, we both read the jokes in the lVIirror."
-it ar 1:
Harry Horgan-"How much are your
254.00 shoes ?"
Clerk-"Two dollars a foot."
ek 4- ik
Il-liss ldfhite-"John, use the word Egypt in
John-"I loaned Gilbert a dime and E-gypt
Eddie-"Gee but you are dumb, you don't
even know what the buffalo on our nickle
Hazel-"Sure I do, because there isn't room
for him to sit down."
lk lk Pk
Candidate for .dlderman-"Madam, may I
inquire as to the political leaning of your fam-
llflrs. Hamstreet-"Well, mister, we are
somewhat mixed. Bly husband is a Republi-
cang I am a Democratg our old cow is dryg
and I guess the dog there must be a Socialist,
because he just sits around and howls all dayf'
"Well, I'll be switched," declared the box
car as the engine chased it up the side track
to the New Ford Plant.
ik wk wk
"johnny, stop pulling that cat's tail."
ct J 1 H
I m only holding the tail,' the cat s pulling i
sr if 41 '
"Laugh and the class laughs with you-but
you stay after school alone."
-if if if
It was midnight on the ocean,
Not a streetcar was in sight,
The sun was shining brightly,
For it rained all day that night.
'Twas a summer day in winter,
The snow was raining fast,
As a barefoot girl with shoes on,
Stood sitting in the grass.
It was evening and the rising sun,
Was setting in the west,
While the little fshes in the trees,
W'ere euddled in their nest.
The rain was simply pouring down,
The sun was shining bright,
And ezferytllillg that you could see
llfas hidden out of sight.
Then the organ peeled potatoes,
Larzl was rendered by the choir,
While the sexton rang the dish rag,
Someone set the church ajire.
"Holy Smoke!" the preacher shouted,
ds he madly tore his hair,
Now his dome resembles Heavferz,
For there is no parting there.
Page 107 text:
llfvr. Nagel-If you multiply 9.1253 by
3.4379 what will your answer be.
lk Pk lk
ll1'r.f. Srlrilling-What is an oyster?
Stanley Traux-It's a fish built like a nut.
wk bk ik
Grace P.-Ellen has a job as a floor detective
in a department store.
Pearl C.-Well, I don't envy her any. just
imagine being known as a "Plain Clothes
wk at in
.Miss Brrklieinzm'-"If a farmer raised 400
bushels of wheat and sold it for
bushel, what would he get for it ?"
Fred Balu-kulil-"A Ford."
at ak 1-
There was a man who fancied that,
By driving good and fast,
He'd get his car across the tracks,
Before the train came pastg
I-Ie'd miss the engine by an inch,
And make the train hands sore.
There WAS a man who fancied that-
There isn't any more.
'F Pk Pk
Silence is golden, except when you are called
on for a recitation in class.
Pk if Ik
Opportunity knocks but once at each man's
door, and then she seldom kicks the door down.
lk lk lk
Illr. Day fto student entering class ten min-
utes latel-When were you born?
lllr. Day-Late again.
lk lk Uk
lllisx Slmrfer-What did you do with that
paper plate I gave you with your pie?"
Richard Happ-O-mi-gosh I thought that
was the lower crust.
if lk lk
Gordon-I am so doggone broke that a dime
looks like a wash tub to me.
Tuttle-Gee, you are Hush. I have been
squeezing this quarter so long that the eagle
looks like a crane.
Ralph Snyder had made a slight mistake in
"Y0u're a fine kid, you are. howled lklr.
Zuppann. "Here I have taught you all I know
and still you don't know anything."
wk nk wk
Hubby came hiccoughing home and met some
one on the steps.
Hubby-VVho are you?
W'ife-I am the Devil.
Hubby--Zas so, well I married your sister.
ik is if
Speaking of school songs, what could be more
appropriate for the negro who was lynched by
the Ku Kluxers than "Swinging Down the
:if an fr
flirt. Goodrich-"Someone wants you on the
phone. I think it must be a stranger."
llfr. Von Lewwrz-"VVhy so."
Illrs. G.-"He asked if you were busy."
as 41 ff
Agent-"When are you going to pay me for
that sewing machine?"
Bliss Nobles-"VVhy, you told me that it
would pay for itself in a short time."
af it Pk
"VVhy do you call that daughter of yours
"Because thc name is Adeline lifloore.
PK it at
Kind Lady--"Let me ring the bell for you
sonny, you are too short."
Sonny-"Com' on now lady, we both got to
run like the devil."
sf ar 4:
lllr. Carlton Cafter a hard day in the oflicej
-"Hello Central. Would you kindly suggest
' at number I might ask for to get Drexel
FF PF X
Bicycle Wait-hmmz-"You have a Hat tire
this morning. How did you puncture it?"
Cliff Carlson-"I ran over a chicken with
pin feathers in it."
Page 109 text:
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AETNA LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY
Twelfth Floor, Metr'opoIita1z Building
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