Rockland High School - Cauldron Yearbook (Rockland, ME)

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10 THE CAULDRON In order to eat a lobster, the follow- ing items are required, one fork, one nut cracker, a good set of teeth, the pa- tience of Job, and at least two years of biology. You sit down to the meal with an immense lobster before you. You examine it from every angle and then you commence by grabbing a claw but find that you leave your meal resting You believe you have in your lap. started wrong but try again, and this time have the claw separated from the body. With nut cracker in one hand and claw in the other you attempt to crack the hard shell. After several trials you look around to see if anyone is watch- ing, then give that up as a bad job. You then take your knife and attempt to cut the body. You're not successful at this either, so disregarding all that Emily Post ever taught you in regard to table etiquette, you gnaw, tear, and rip the meat from the shell. The meal you looked forward to is now ended, but somehow you don't relish the idea of eating a lobster again soon. lklildred Ferrin ---- o --if DANTE SOLVES A CASE Mrs Theresa Van Lylnne is com- ing here at nine o'clock, Chief of Po- lice Thomas recited from a memoran- dum propped up before him. jim Dante, the ace sleuth, lifted a bushy eyebrow. Yeah? Yeahl A new case for you, Jim. What's the matter now. Did some- one swipe the Aleon ruby or just nab the Rotterdam pearls ? Don't be funny. This is serious. Her husband's been murdered. Not the Benjamin Van Lylnne? Yes. Himself. Well, what is she kicking about? She has wanted to divorce him for the past three years, only he wouldn't listen. That's not the question, my dear Mr. Dante. Itls who did it? That ought to be a cinch. There's old sourpuss Stevens, who's been trying to run him out of New York since I was a kid. Then there's Brent on Wall Street, and Lewis, and- 1 Will you get serious. Ah, here's Mrs. Van Lylnne now. You know it's strange that a young innocent girl ever could marry that old crab. hloney can do anything, though, I guess. Good morning, Nlrs. Van Lylnne, take a seat right over there, please. Now to get down to business. I have some reports here that my men made. Just surveys of the grounds and other little particu- lars, you know. Will you start at the beginning and tell me evervthing you told me over the telephone. Theresa Van Lylnne breathed deeply and began in a slow melodious tone. Well, you see, Nlr. Thomas, we were walking down the path between our home and the Iatticed summer house. We were talking and I asked him a question. He didn't answer and when I looked at him-well-he wasn't there. I glanced up the path and there he lay. That's all I know. Um, hum. Did you look for any-

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THE CAULDRON 9 voice, and, above all, on his style of singing. The abbe, who naturally had taken the affair much to heart, lost no time. VVhile the gentlemen continued their walk, laughing at his expense, he has- tened to the gate of Boulogne, and, by the description he gave of them he learned that the one who had threat- ened to cane him if he did not sing was the Count of-, a Black Musketeer, and he got particular information as to his residence. The next morning, very early, the abbe hastened to his house and, being admitted, told the Count that he had come to demand satisfaction for the af- front given the evtening before. Do you understand the sword? asked the Count. That is no business of yours, an- swered the abbe, you will see that by- and-by. Be it so, said the count. But where shall we fix the field of battle? A'On the very spot where the affront was given, rejoined the abbe. With all my heart, said the Count, and getting ready instantly, he ordered his horses to be put to the carriage. Our two repaired to the scene of the previous evening's proceedings, while the musketeer was taking off his coat, the abbe took a pistol out of his pocket and clapped it to his breast. We have not come here to fight, Sir, said he. You made me sing yes- terday against my will. I take you to be a good dancer, and you shall dance or I will blow out your brains. In vain the soldier, startled at the pistol, would have pleaded the laws of honor. You were a stranger to them yester- day, said the abbe, and deserve no other usage. No more talk or I will avenge myself immediately, let what will come of it. The muskketeer was obliged to com- ply. Accordingly, he asked, submis- sively, what he must dance. Cupri's minuet is what I am going to sing, said the abbe, who thereupon warbled out the tune, directing his pupil all the while by the pistol. When the minuet was over the abbe required a hornpipe, rigadoon, etc, At last, throwing aside his pistol and drawing his sword, he said quietly. We have now nothing to reproach each other with. Let us fight. No, cried the Count, we will not. You are too brave a conqueror. You have corrected my folly. I have to thank you for the lesson. Let us be friends for the future. The two then embraced each otherg and so commenced what proved, let us hope, a lasting friendship. By Robert Harmon -1- o -- THIS ART OF EATING A LOBSTER I have read HA Dissertation Upon Roast Pig and how to cook frog's legs, both gave good advice, so I am going to give you a little advice on the art of eating a lobster.

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THE CAULDFION 11 one that might be concealed in the bushes? Gracious house. no. I just ran for the How did you get by the body? My husband? I-I must have jumped over him. Really, I can't re- member. There are bushes on either side so I suppose I stepped over him. You went straight to the house and called the servants, I understand ? uxresfv The chief eyed the woman closely, but as far as Dante could see she was telling the truth. Personally he didn't like the hardness about the Chief in interviewing llrs. Van Lylnne. She seemed under some great strain. Well, losing a husband wasn't the easiest thing in the world. Just why were you taking this walk on a cold winter's night. And why there of all places? lWust I answer that question? Only if you like at present. I'll ask you another. Had you quarreled with your husband that night?', No, we had entertained a few friends in the evening-it was his birth- day-and we were on the best of terms with each other. I shall say that we wanted to talk about the evening's hap- penings and though it was chilly he felt tramp over the grounds us feel better after the that a brisk would make noise and the cocktails. ls this the truth? Yes, hir. Thomas, may I go now? I have been ill since it happened and- Yes, of course. lfr. Dante will assist you to your car. From behind the curtain Thomas watched as the vehicle sped away. What do you make of it? Dante asked, closing the door. Mrs, Van Lylnne, the Chief an- swered between puffs on an ancient pipe, is keeping something from us. To begin with, is she hard of hearing? If not. she heard Van Lylnne when he fell. Her butler told me that she went to her room and later told them what had happened. Also, the guard at the estate caught a glimpse of someone, presumably a man, as he fled through the grove behind the stable. Well, I'll be ai But from her physician I learned that she is subject to spells of-I forgot what he called it-but it may account for her loss of memory. And again, maybe she didn't hear him as he fell- maybe. Just what is this disease? lt's a fever of the brain and its vic- tims are numbed instantly when it takes possession of that vital spat. About the man. Could the guard explain him? No. XIedium height was all he could say. I found he wears a number nine shoe. Footprints, eh ? Um-hum. Am I assigned to the case? Yes, Jim. Swell, I've been needing some