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Page 74 text:
Mr. Eckman-VVhat did you
learn from the writing on the wall?
Bill Dent-That the walls hadn't
been cleaned for a long time.
if as if
Virginia Eastman-I wonder what
cannibals do with their victim's
Elsie Wade-Oli, probably make
noodle soup of them.
' ek wk if
Irrate parent-IVhen that young
man that is always putting ashes on
the floor comes to see you again I
am going to sit on him.
Mary Cox-Oh, let me do it,
if ak Pk
Miss Bondurant-Clinton, tell n1e
something about John Milton.
Clinton Chumbley--Wlell, he got
married and wrote "Paradise Lost,"
then his wife died and he wrote
if if ik
Russell Kirby-If a cannibal ate
his father and mother, what would
Celia Mumpower-VVell, I don't
Russell-He would be an orphan.
Malcolm Long-You are so won-
derful, so beautiful, so marvelous,
Agnes S.--So what?
ak Sk if
Mary jackson was reading an
essay that she had written, when
she came to the part where she was
"You sift tl1e Hour, and put in an
egg or two, then a few other in-
gredients, then stir vigorously.
Next you put it into a pan, and
slam it in the oven. Pace around
until you think it is done. And
what have you got?"
Elsie Wade-You are so different,
honey. My last boy friend took too
long to say good-night.
Tad Steger-Lingered, eh?
all Pk Ik
Evelyn Elkins-Here is a little
book that tells all about milk.
Pauline Iieistei'-Why is it so
Evelyn-It's a condensed version.
if if ik
Fred Cole-My good lady, this
used Ford is an opportunity of a
Prospective Buyer-You're right,
I hear it knocking. V
if SY 7F
Miss Pugh-Who was the world's
Roswell Seagle-Thomas Edison.
He invented the phonograph and
the radio so people could stay up at
night and use his light bulbs.
wk Bk Sk
Miss Kinder-The ancients con-
sidered the liver the seat of affec-
Laura King Harman-Yes, and
now it's the knee.
at 4: af
Clark Owen-How long can a
man live without brains?
PF 14 14
I. B.-What did your girl give
you for Christmas?
Tad-She gave me a week-end
J. B.-Oh, a new hat.
Pk Bk Dk
Audrey-Come on, let's go to the
Vkfinifred-I'm busy. I got this
mail-order catalogue to read through,
and all I got is one day more. On
the wrapper it said, "Return in five
days," and tomorrow's the last day.
Page 73 text:
Miss Dalton-Judy, how can you
tell if there is fire in the human
Judy Morrell-You can see smoke
on cold days.
'lf if Ik
Miss Frye-How is a well-ordered
school room like a Ford?
Tom McAdoo-Easy, the crank's
Miss Frye-And all the nuts are
in their places.
Miss Pugh-Name one thing we
have now that we did not have one
hundred years ago.
Dan Umberger finterrupting Miss
Miss Pugh-I mean that we could
Mary Currin Eskridge-If you
were standing over a dime, how
would you resemble Woolworth?
Elizabeth Bowman-I'll b i t e,
Mary C. Eskridge-Nothing over
Miss Dalton--Bill, tell me all you
know about nitrates.
Bill Macgill Csleepilyl-Well,they
are a lot cheaper than ,day rates.
Miss Kinder-Why do we speak
of ghosts in Latin?
Lincoln Baugh-Because Latin's
a dead language.
if if FF
Herman jones-Mary, do you
play by ear?
Mary Cox-No, my neck is not
Bobby Cecil-Say, C. J., if you
had live bucks in your pocket, what
would you think?
C. J. Haislip-I would think that
I had someone else's pants on.
"It is funny I do not remember
limping when I left home," said Mr.
Rice, as he walked down the street
with one foot on the curb and the
other in the gutter.
Dulcie Bentley-You are wrong
in thinking that it's quite a coinci-
dence that Columbus, Washington,
and Lincoln were all born on holi-
if Sli lk
"Did you ever do any public
speaking?" asked the man in the
"Yes," replied Chester Hall, "I
proposed to a girl over a party line."
ii if if
H. C. V.-Darling," haven't I al-
ways given you my salary check the
first of every month?
Blanche-Yes, but you never told
me you got paid twice a month, you
Sk JY if
Mrs. White-Why are you eating
with your knife?
Jack--My fork leaks.
IC if lk
"But, your honor, I was not
drunk," said John Sowers.
"Then explain why this officer
found you climbing a lamp post,"
asked Judge Deeds.
"Because, judge, a couple of cro-
codiles had been following me
around, and I thought I'd just
Climb the post and escape them."
Page 75 text:
First Boy-My father has George
Second Boy-That's nothing, my
father has Adam's apple.
if at IK
Billy Aylor-Say, Walter, what
is a synonym?
Walter Runyon-A synonym is a
word you use when you can't spell
the other one.
Ik Ik IF
Edward Dent-There is a lot of
electricity in my hair.
Walter Smith-Sure, it's con-
nected to a dry cell.
if if Pk
Miss Dalton-James, Why don't
you get busy and do the experiment
that I have assigned? What are
you looking for, anyway?
Ed. Bowman-A chair.
ik 1' Ik
Elizabeth Hall was talking to Mr.
Rice Kas usualj just before the
Wytheville Football Game.
Elizabeth-Mr. Rice, I bet you
the score is 0-0.
Mr. Rice-I hope you are wrong
Elizabeth-W'ell, it is always 0-0
before the game.
lk lk lk
Kendall Kirkner-I got China
when I turned on my short-wave
set at 3:00 o'clock, A. M.
Robert Carson-China and what
Kendall-China, flowerpots, milk
bottles and shoes!
wk ek lk
Virginia Wallner-NVhy are Sen-
ior caps square?
Billy Rhudyh-Why, to lit the
blockheads, of course.
lk Fl! if
"What's the penalty for bigarny?"
"Being married to two women at
Edward-Mother, I'd like to ask
you a question.
Mrs. Dent-Well, what is it,
Edward-When a lightning bug
lightens, why doesn't it thunder?
Walter-Ma, kin I go out in the
street? Pa says there is going to be
an eclipse of the sun.
Mrs. Smith-Yes, but dou't get
Clark Owen, face scratched, cloth-
ing torn and covered with dust,
rushed into a police station with a
yelp of vengeance. "The car that
hit me three minutes ago was No.
345-804-," he howled. "I can prove
he was exceeding the limit and I
Schrader-You want a warrant
for his arrest?
Clark-No. What good would
a warrant do me at 'the rate he was
traveling? I want extradition pa-
ik if 'li
When Mr. Eckman was visiting
in New York he was entertained at
dinner by a group of business and
professional men, and in turn' enter-
tained the crowd by telling some
choice anecdotes in his own inimi-
A lawyer who was present con-
tinually walked up and down the
room with his hands in his pockets.
Finally he stopped and turned to
"You are the first person I have
ever heard tell a funny story."
"Thanks," said Mr. Eckman,
smiling, "I'll return the compli-
ment. You are the first lawyer I
have ever seen with his hands in his
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