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Page 73 text:
Miss Dalton-Judy, how can you
tell if there is fire in the human
Judy Morrell-You can see smoke
on cold days.
'lf if Ik
Miss Frye-How is a well-ordered
school room like a Ford?
Tom McAdoo-Easy, the crank's
Miss Frye-And all the nuts are
in their places.
Miss Pugh-Name one thing we
have now that we did not have one
hundred years ago.
Dan Umberger finterrupting Miss
Miss Pugh-I mean that we could
Mary Currin Eskridge-If you
were standing over a dime, how
would you resemble Woolworth?
Elizabeth Bowman-I'll b i t e,
Mary C. Eskridge-Nothing over
Miss Dalton--Bill, tell me all you
know about nitrates.
Bill Macgill Csleepilyl-Well,they
are a lot cheaper than ,day rates.
Miss Kinder-Why do we speak
of ghosts in Latin?
Lincoln Baugh-Because Latin's
a dead language.
if if FF
Herman jones-Mary, do you
play by ear?
Mary Cox-No, my neck is not
Bobby Cecil-Say, C. J., if you
had live bucks in your pocket, what
would you think?
C. J. Haislip-I would think that
I had someone else's pants on.
"It is funny I do not remember
limping when I left home," said Mr.
Rice, as he walked down the street
with one foot on the curb and the
other in the gutter.
Dulcie Bentley-You are wrong
in thinking that it's quite a coinci-
dence that Columbus, Washington,
and Lincoln were all born on holi-
if Sli lk
"Did you ever do any public
speaking?" asked the man in the
"Yes," replied Chester Hall, "I
proposed to a girl over a party line."
ii if if
H. C. V.-Darling," haven't I al-
ways given you my salary check the
first of every month?
Blanche-Yes, but you never told
me you got paid twice a month, you
Sk JY if
Mrs. White-Why are you eating
with your knife?
Jack--My fork leaks.
IC if lk
"But, your honor, I was not
drunk," said John Sowers.
"Then explain why this officer
found you climbing a lamp post,"
asked Judge Deeds.
"Because, judge, a couple of cro-
codiles had been following me
around, and I thought I'd just
Climb the post and escape them."
Page 72 text:
becomes hoarse and raucous. I've often heard them shout
"Beware the ides of March," "I come to bury Caesar," "The
quality of mercy is not strained," etc. Such idiotic phrases do
not make sense to me. Who, or what was ides? VVhat and how
much was the quality of mercy, and who in the world was that
In these periods of insanity you must treat the teachers
indulgently and listen meeklyg otherwise they may become en-
raged and positively violent, in which case you may be sure of
and "E" or an "F," .
But after all's said and done you should treat these poor
teachers kindly because they must have a hard time trying to
keep their so-called knowledge intact. Poor souls, I pity them
. . . . . wonder if I'll ever be a teacher.
THE BARK OF A SQUIRREL
WI ost of you long for summer to come,
And make plans for things you'll do
When there's no more school, and that old, swimming pool
Seems to beckon to each of you.
Butgive me those days when the summer fades
:And the frost on the ground does spark,
Out before dawn, I listen and long
To hear that old squirrel bark.
Each nerve is taut as a banjo string,
As I sit there numb -with cold,
But I can't resist when I hear that call.
It ajects both young and old.
So you may have your summer days
And listen to the song of the lark,
But as for me, I 'll take the ones
When I hear the old squirrel bark.
Page 74 text:
Mr. Eckman-VVhat did you
learn from the writing on the wall?
Bill Dent-That the walls hadn't
been cleaned for a long time.
if as if
Virginia Eastman-I wonder what
cannibals do with their victim's
Elsie Wade-Oli, probably make
noodle soup of them.
' ek wk if
Irrate parent-IVhen that young
man that is always putting ashes on
the floor comes to see you again I
am going to sit on him.
Mary Cox-Oh, let me do it,
if ak Pk
Miss Bondurant-Clinton, tell n1e
something about John Milton.
Clinton Chumbley--Wlell, he got
married and wrote "Paradise Lost,"
then his wife died and he wrote
if if ik
Russell Kirby-If a cannibal ate
his father and mother, what would
Celia Mumpower-VVell, I don't
Russell-He would be an orphan.
Malcolm Long-You are so won-
derful, so beautiful, so marvelous,
Agnes S.--So what?
ak Sk if
Mary jackson was reading an
essay that she had written, when
she came to the part where she was
"You sift tl1e Hour, and put in an
egg or two, then a few other in-
gredients, then stir vigorously.
Next you put it into a pan, and
slam it in the oven. Pace around
until you think it is done. And
what have you got?"
Elsie Wade-You are so different,
honey. My last boy friend took too
long to say good-night.
Tad Steger-Lingered, eh?
all Pk Ik
Evelyn Elkins-Here is a little
book that tells all about milk.
Pauline Iieistei'-Why is it so
Evelyn-It's a condensed version.
if if ik
Fred Cole-My good lady, this
used Ford is an opportunity of a
Prospective Buyer-You're right,
I hear it knocking. V
if SY 7F
Miss Pugh-Who was the world's
Roswell Seagle-Thomas Edison.
He invented the phonograph and
the radio so people could stay up at
night and use his light bulbs.
wk Bk Sk
Miss Kinder-The ancients con-
sidered the liver the seat of affec-
Laura King Harman-Yes, and
now it's the knee.
at 4: af
Clark Owen-How long can a
man live without brains?
PF 14 14
I. B.-What did your girl give
you for Christmas?
Tad-She gave me a week-end
J. B.-Oh, a new hat.
Pk Bk Dk
Audrey-Come on, let's go to the
Vkfinifred-I'm busy. I got this
mail-order catalogue to read through,
and all I got is one day more. On
the wrapper it said, "Return in five
days," and tomorrow's the last day.
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