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Page 81 text:
LlFE'S LITTLE SURPRISES
Alberta-Why didn't you tell me I had
a dab of rouge on the tip of my nose?
Billy-How should a man know how
you girls want to wear your complexion?
Father-Daughter, I don't like that
young man you go with.
Frances Cummings-Yeah? Well, don't
worry, you're simply poison to him, too.
EVIDENTLY A MODERNIST
Waiter--These are the best eggs we
have had for years.
Miss Du Val-Well, bring me some you
haven't had so long.
JUST DUCK THE SQUIRRELS
Don't worry if your job is small,
And your rewards are fewg
Remember that the mighty oak
Was once a nut like you.
KNOWS HIS JANE
Commander-Now, suppose you are
on your post one dark night. Suddenly a
person appears from behind and wraps
two strong arms around you so that you
can't use your rifle. VVhat will you call
Cadet Adams-Let go, Ozzie.
Billy Vier-Miss Croswhite, did you
ever hear a rabbit bark?
Miss Croswhite-Rabbits do not bark.
Billy-But, Miss Croswhite, my Biol-
ggyk book says rabbits eat cabbage and
Mrs. Hall-Tell me something about
Hazel Craig-Well, he got married and
wrote "Paradise Lost," then his wife died
and he wrote "Paradise Regainedf'
Nell Morehead Cto visitarl-Wliat do
you know about cows? You don't even
know if that's a jersey cow.
Virginia Miles-I don't know from here,
'cause I can't see the license.
NOT STONE BLIND
I She-You got fooled on this diamond
I-Ie-I guess not. I know my onions.
She-Maybe, but not your carats.
TRAMP! TRAM P!
Du Val-Ah, it certainly does seem good
to be dancing.
Nancy B.-Yes, I suppose there's no-
thing like the feel of a good toe under your
GIVE HER A TIN MEDAL
"Fuzz Hall is so conceitedf'
"Yes, on his last birthday he sent a tele-
gram of congratulations to his mother!"
GI RLS' PRIZE RACKET
In leap year women may propose,
But still-and here's the sting-
The timid, bashful victim knows
That he must buy the ring.
Miss DuVal-W hat is the longest word
in the English language?
E. Aust-Rubber, because it stretches.
Carmen Dalton-I have added the
figures ten times, sir.
Carmen-Here are the ten answers.
Miss Pugh-Doesn't that little boy over
there swear terribly?
Mrs. Hall-Yes, he doesn't put any ex-
pression into it at all.
Mr. Eckman has become very absent-
minded. The other day he viewed him-
self in the hair brush instead of the mirror
and declared that he needed a shave.
"Shall I brain him?" cried a hazer,
And the victim's courage fled.
"You can'tg it is a Freshmang
Just hit him on the head."
Page 80 text:
ll A r--- .
h l' xx .LTI
e 'T '
Q .. 1
Most of these jokes are old,
A few of these jokes are new,
Some of these jokes are borrowed-
We hope you like a few.
It was not so easy to find therng
Wfe feel that We're not to blame.
If none of these please your fancy
Will you read them just the same?
Lyons jones-Bill, what's a "Grecian
Billy Matheney-Oh, I don't knowg
about 3525 a week unless he owns a restau-
THIS CAN'T BE LEAP YEAR
Mr. Ford Cin classj-What do you want
Santa Claus to bring you?
Dorothy Wallner-An aeroplane.
Mr. Ford-Do you want a pilot to go
Dorothy-Oh, can you fly an aeroplane?
Convalescent CM. Surmtt to a friendl-
Thanks very much for the brandy peaches.
Although the doctor would not let me eat
the peaches, I enjoyed the spirit in which
they were sent.
Miss Dyer was testing the knowledge
of a kindergarten class. Clapping a half-
dollar on the desk she said sharply, "What
Quentin D. Cfrom the back fowl-Tails.
' w ff
.I .. It WAS HE DEAF?
Catherine Wood had just finished read-
ing her essay.
Miss Draper-Now, Iesse, have you any
"Idea" what an essay is?
Jesse Spangler-No, ma'am!
Miss Dalton-I'm cutting grades 10
points for talking. Jim, what do you
think you deserve.
Jim Haley-10 below zero. I made
zero and talked.
"Now then, Wade Cline," said the
teacher, "I want to set you a little prob-
lem. Suppose there were five children and
their mother had only four potatoes to
share between them. She wants to give
each child an equal share. How would
she do it?"
"Mash the potatoes."
LIVING UP TO HIS CALLING
Hunter-May I marry your daughter?
Stern Father-What is your vocation?
Hunter-I'm an actor.
Stern Father Qangrilyj-Then get out
before the foot lights.
SAVING DAD TROUBLE
Irate Parent-When that young cub
who's paying you attention comes here
again I'll sit on him.
Helen Dix-Oh, let me do it, father.
Page 82 text:
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NO ILL LUCK
A man that We would like to see
Done up in a tine white shroud
Is the guy who always has to push
Whenever he's in a crowd.
Lyons J.-Say, Bill, if you had live
bucks in your pocket what would you
Bill M.-I'd think I had someone else's
Mrs. Wallner Cat herjifstfaotball gamel-
Oh, isn't it awful? Wlly, they will kill
that poor boy underneath.
Dorothy-Don't be silly, mother! He
d.oesn't mind itg he's unconscious by this
Lawna Harkrader-Which is right, "I
is dumb" or "I am dumb?"
Pauline Wygal-"I am d u ni b," of
Lawna-I knew itg I just wanted to see
if you'd admit it.
"Dear Teacher," wrote Mrs. jones,
"don't whack my Lyons. He is a delicate
child and isn't used to it. At home we
never hit him except in self-defense."
Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are, "I've iiunked again."
GET DOWN AND DIG
Coach Ford fto playersl-And remember
that football develops inviduality, initia-
tive, and leadership. Now get in there and
do exactly as I tell you.
ELEGY IN A TRAFFIC JAM
The curfew tolls the knell of parting day,
A line of cars winds slowly o'er the lea,
A pedestrian plods his absent-minded way
And leaves the world quite unexpectedly.
Miss Pugh-Who was the world's smart-
Ernest Aust-Thomas Edison. He in-
vented the phonograph and radio so that
people would stay up all night and use l1is
electric light bulbs.
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