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Page 125 text:
Mrs. Hall — Charles, you may give me a sentence using the word “ban- . » » quet. Charles White — When the band quits we will have some music. Virginia White — I want to meet the first officer of this boat. Steward — He is forward, Miss. Virginia I don’t care; this is a pleasure trip anyway. Doctor — Did you follow my advice and drink hot water an hour before breakfast. Jack Bones — -I tried to, Doc, honest. But after the first ten minutes I couldn’t get any more down. Pat Bocock — Science can predict an eclipse of the sun years in advance, but it can not forecast a blowout over the week-end. Early Jordan — Do you see that man standing over there next to the flivver with the golf pants on? Ollie Ingles — I see the young man all right, but where is the flivver with the golf pants on? Mr. Walker — Let’s hear you prove the square upon the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides of this triangle. Bob Crabtree — Let’s not waste time, Mr. Walker, let’s just admit it. As Fred Kinzer, Charles Bowles, and Walter Ingles were walking home with Miss Kinder, from school, Charles threw a stone at a bumblebee. “Oh,” cried Miss Kinder, “Don’t do that, he will sting you.” “Aw,” said Charles, “He won’t know which one of us hit him.” Miss Dalton — (in Science) — Now, Roswell, how many seasons are there? Roswell Seagle — Do you mean in the United States? Miss Dalton — -Yes. Roswell — Two. Miss Dalton — Only two; name them. Roswell — Football and baseball. Miss Blair (in French class) — We will have a test on French Monday. Hal Painter — No, please don’t; every time I take my books home over the week-end I lose them. 119
Page 124 text:
(Jokes Miss Pugh (in history class) — Frank, why did Washington cross the Delaware? Frank — For the same reason that the hen crossed the road; you can’t catch me on them riddles. Old Lady -When your grandfather was young, Bud, he always wore heavy red underwear. Bud — But that was when he had to sit on one of those old hair cloth sofas. Mrs. Hall — My husband had a hope chest too, before we were married. Miss Blair — For mercy sakes! What was in it? Mrs. Hall — Old socks; he hoped I’d darn them. Russell Williams — Some men thirst after fame, some men thirst after love, and some after money. Biz Cox — I know something they all thirst after. Russell — What ? Biz — Salted almonds. Dwight Wohlford — Daddy, I want to see the average. Mr. Wohlford — What are you talking about? This is a poultry farm we’re visiting. Dwight — Yes, but I heard the man say that the hens lay six eggs a week on the average. Pearle Baugh— If the wild Howers didn’t blossom, Or the buds start on the rose, I’d still know that summer is coming By the surest sign that grows — - I’ve an extra crop of freckles In full bloom upon my nose. Jack Bones — I know a lot of new tricks. I can imitate any bird you mention. Lena Berry — Let’s see you imitate the homing pigeon. 118
Page 126 text:
Dorothy Wallner (in Math class) — I am awful sleepy, Mr. Walker. May I go to sleep? Mr. Walker — Yes, if you won’t make any noise. Mrs. Hall — Doctor, my husband talks in his sleep. What can I do to help him? Doctor — Try letting him talk a little in the day time. Jim Joe — You should see the new altar in our church. Margaret Rauhof — -Lead me to it. Dorothy N. — So you and Ralph Bocock are to be married. I thought it was a mere flirtation. Judith K. — So did Ralph. Mistress (to maid) — Dorothy, did you sweep behind that door? Dorothy Neighbours — Yes, mum, I sweeps everything behind that door. The rolling pin contest was won by Mrs. Harry H. Hall, who threw the rolling pin 67 feet. Mr. Hall won the 100 yard dash for married men. Joe Dink W. — How did Mr. Dismuke die? Jim Joe C. — He kicked a mule. Dink — Kicked a mule! Jim Joe — Yes, and the mule returned the compliment. Mrs. Byrd — How is it, sir, that I find you kissing my niece, Dorothy? How is it, sir? Fred Whitaker — Great! Great! Miss Dalton (in Science class) — If we breathe oxygen in the day what do we breathe at night? Stephen Ham — Nitrogen. Miss Pugh (in fourth year History) — Of what trade are all presidents? Anna Snider — Cabinet makers. Boo Morehead — The name of what character in history would a person mention in asking the servant to put coal on the fire? Biz Cox — Oh, I dunno. Boo — Philip the Great. (Fill up the grate.) 120
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