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Page 75 text:
THE ORIOLE Page 71 If we had no education in the world we would not have any laws and if we had no laws we would not have to abide by them. Wouldn’t that be grand? No traffic cops to bawl us out or any of those other nuisances. We could do just as we pleased, and all would be well. Education takes many of us and places us in high society and makes us miserable. If we did not have it we Could re- main a ditch-digger and be satisfied with life. If there was not a continual quest for education we would not have any schools, and how grand that would be!!! We could just work and play, and mostly play, and life would be “one grand sweet song’’ if we only knew we did not have any lessons to recite. If there was no education we would be strong men and women with agile bodies, but since knowledge has brought us cars we might as well be paralyzed for we cannot walk any more, and all that legs are good for is to allow some flapper to wear short dresses and display dimpled knees. Abolish education and let’s return to the hard days of our forefathers where we will not know so much but be much hap- pier, for has it not been truly said, “Where ignorance is bliss, ’ tis folly to be wise.” Mildred Swaim.
Page 74 text:
Page 70 THE ORIOLE THE FOLLY OF AN EDUCATION (A Satire ) N this era of drug store cowboys and youthful flappers so much is heard of the advantages of an education. How foolish the thought! Of course the world is growing wiser, but that only proves the accuracy of the Bible, for does not that good Book say that the “human race will grow weaker but wiser.” In the days of our forefathers “men were men and women were good housewives, God bless them,” but few of them had the rudiments of an education. They did possess good health and wonderful physiques. Abraham Lincoln was born a poor ignorant boy and was happy in the wilds of Indiana until the time some straggling man came along and told him he should have an education. Foolish youth that he was he set about to obtain it. His learn- ing led him to the President’s chair where he spent four years of mental torture and was then killed. If he had remained ignorant he might have lived to an old age and died peacefully. In the old days we had secrets. In this day of wireless, telephone and radios you can not whisper unless your next door neighbor hears you, and if you cuss the family cat some human over in the next State will have you arrested for cruelty to animals. In the old days all you had to do was to get up before the break of day, take a hoe and work in the com field all day. Now you are aroused from your beauty slumber at eight in the morning, made to get up, take books under your arm and ride off to school where you tax your mental capacity all day long trying to solve some Chinese puzzle that the teacher has pro- pounded to you. How silly! Why should we take all the labor off our brawny arms and place it all on that little ounce of gray matter that reposes in our dome? Are we not imposing on the weak and small? If we do not know anything about any of the world except that immediate vicinity that surrounds us we will have nothing to worry about.
Page 76 text:
Page 72 THE ORIOLE INFORMATION HE window oi the information bureau of the rail- way station slowly raised; the sight which met the clerk’s eyes made him say to himself, “Now I’m in for a day of it.” First, there is a traveling sales- man, wearing a checked suit and a large, loud, red tie. Next, a talkative German woman, with one arm hampered w ith a basket, while in the same hand carried a bundle of clothes; her other hand was busily occupied in making gestures as she talked. A small child was whimpering by her side and holding tight to her mother’s skirts. The third person was an im- patient, fashionably dressed young lady, who was trying to keep her own neat clothes from touching those of the German woman. And on down the line, one after another, some ex- cited, some calm . . . but all anxious to secure some par- ticular information. As the clerk was still glancing down the line of people, a voice broke in upon his meditations, “Say, what do you think this is? A study hall? I want to know what time the first train runs that goes to San Fran- cisco, and l want to know quick.” “W ell, it is supposed to run in about fifteen minutes, but it .... ” “Supposed to run! Well, isn ' t it?” “ . . . . will run in about an hour and a half,” continued the clerk as if he had not been interrupted. “Well, I’ll be hanged! Why on earth don’t they run trains on time? My time is valuable. Why isn’t it running on time?” “A wreck is holding it up about fifty miles from here, and if that is all, sir, there are other people back of you who are waiting for you to move on.” “Humph, I’ll move when I get ready,” said the salesman, but nevertheless he stepped out of line, and the German woman moved up. “Ach! I toucht that man voud nefer moved. In all dose checks an’ all dose red tie, he look to me lak he just stepped . . . Olga! How many dimes must I tell you not to vimper like dot? Now vot vas I saying? Oh, yes, about dose young man. Ach, have to buy mine ole man a tie like dot “Really, madam, is there anything I can do for you?” the clerk said, with a smile on his face.
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