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Page 135 text:
Page 131 THE ORIOLE Bud Crockett — Have you heard the newsboy song? Marvin Sutherland — No, what is it? Bud — “ IIow Many Times? " t t t “Tim” —I wouldn’t give you astraw if you were drowning. “Cat” — I wouldn’t touch it if you did. t t t Punk Cecil — What is so rare as a day in June? Loyall Hurd — A charity bazaar in Scotland. t t t George Sands — Give an example of sound advice. Bascomb Owen — Shut up. t t t Miss Mitchell — Now, George, what are you doing learn- ing something? George Snider — No, ma’m, I’m listening to you. t t t Chas. Gatewood (to Chas. Boley, who is selling encyclope- dias) — “Why can’t you sell Mr. Brugh one?” Chas. Boley — Aw, he knows it all. Chas. Gatewood — Well, he ought to enjoy going over it for errors then. t t t Anna Cecil — What’s this World Court they are talking about? Lila Gilmer — I guess it must be the place they are going to hold the international tennis matches. f t t Irene Cannaday — Are you learning much French these days? Olin Munsey — Well, I can shrug my shoulders all right. t t t Ethel Lyons — I saw the best looking girl today. Virginia Duncan — Where? Ethel — In the mirror, dear. t t t Nancy Cecil — I declare Anna Cecil is the dumbest thing I have ever seen? Billie Williams — Why so? Nancy — Why, the other day daddy sent her to put water in the car, and when he went to the car he found a bucket of water sitting on the back seat.
Page 134 text:
Page 130 THE ORIOLE Dick Glenn — Gosh, but I had a narrow escape last night. Charles Boley — How’s that? Dick — Woke up in the middle of the night and saw some- thing white moving in the room, so I grabbed my gun and shot it. After I turned the light on I found it was my shirt. Charles — I don’t see any narrow escape in that. Dick — Why, just suppose I hadn’t taken my shirt off last night. t t t Tom Roberts — “Cat,” can you tell me whether Noah had a wife or not? “Cat” — Certainly, don’t be silly. t t t Edith Hardy — Mont, who gave you that black eye? Mont — It wasn’t given to me; I had to fight for it. t t t Sarah Nowlin — Mildred, do you play by ear? Mildred Hall — No, my neck isn’t long enough. t t t Orville — Do you hie your finger nails, Miller? Miller Bushong — No, I just throw them away after I cut them off. 1 t t Louis Smith — My conscience bothers me. Garnet Kinzer — I didn’t know you had a conscience. Louis — Then it must be my stomach. t t t John Henry Calfee — Hey, Sam, don’t spit on the floor. Sam Pillsbury — What is the matter, does the floor leak? t t t Mr. Hodges — Did you make that face at me? Tom Douthat — No, sir, you just happened to walk in front of it. t t t Betsy Muire — Dorothy, what is a cynic? Dorothy Taylor — A cynic is a person who gives the opera- tor the wrong number in the hope that she’ll ring the right one. t t t Marie Richardson — I’m sorry I couldn’t come to your party yesterday. Mary Crowder — Dear me, weren’t you there? Marie — Why, of course I was, how stupid of me. I must have forgotten.
Page 136 text:
Page 132 THE ORIOLE Miss Woodyard — What would happen if the President went insane? Mont C. — Why, they would send him to Marion, of course. t t t June Hurd- -Did you know Mildred Hall is a tine musician? Louise Fleeman — No; is she? June Hurd — Yeh. She used to play on her father’s car- pet when she was a small kid. t t t Mr. Hodges — Does any one want me to explain this theorem again? Evelyn Worley — Yes, sir, please. Mr. Hodges — Well, every one watch closely while I go through the blackboard again. t t t Miss Crosswhite — Why are you taking such a large box of candy home? Mr. Eckman — My wife kissed me this morning and I don’t know whether it is her birthday or wedding anniversary. t t t Mr. Hodges — Yes, I have had lots of disappointments in my life, but the worst one was when I crawled under a tent to see the circus to find it was a revival meeting.
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