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Page 133 text:
THE ORIOLE Page 129 Mutt Bopp — What did they say when your horse fell in the swimming pool? Mont — Oh, everybody yelled, “Pull out the plug.” t t t Miss Woodyard — Where does law begin? Flossie Nowlin — At home. Miss Woodyard- Yes, on your mother’s knee. Dick Glenn — On it nothing; you mean across it. t t t Miss Woodyard — Name some national parks. Lila Gilmer — Well, Gunton Park. t t t Mr. Eekman — Which travels faster, heat or cold? Marvin S. — Heat. Mr. Eekman — What makes you think so? Marvin Because one can catch cold. t t t Mozelle Dalton -See here, daddy, don’t you think your cigars smell much better now? They smelt so horrid that I put some cologne on them. t t t “Smitty” — Hear about the Scotchman who went insane? Frances Boothe — No, what was the matter? “Smitty” — He bought a score card at the game and neither team scored. t t t Wilbur Lewey — l get all in of late. Sam Haislip — Do you get in late a lot? Wilbur Lewey — No, but I get a lot in late. t t t Miss Finks — Name a collective noun. Charlotte Henson — Ash can. t t t Eugene Snider — You know I’m funny like that; I always throw myself into any job I undertake. Gray Baxter — How splendid; why don’t you dig a well? t t t Walter Lewey — Her mind is essentially modern. Bob Wood — How do you mean? Walt — She never seems to have much on it.
Page 132 text:
Page 128 THE ORIOLE Beth Glenn’s mother - Young man, the lights in this house go out at 1 1 o’clock. Clias. Boley — That suits me. t t t Manola Mitchell Colleen, does Gray know much about an automobile? Colleen — Goodness no; he thinks you clean the car by stripping the gears. f t t Mr. Eckman — In days gone by the young men came around at midnight to serenade the young women. M iss Stull The custom is impossible new. A popular girl is very seldom home at that hour. t t t Tom Roberts — Mama, did you ever hear a rabbit bark? Mrs. Roberts— Rabbits don’t bark, Tom dear. Tom That’s funny; my story book says that rabbits eat cabbage and bark. t t t ' Traffic Cop— Young fellow, you are pinched for speeding. Roger Carlan (nervously) — Why, officer, you can not arrest me; this is not my car and I haven’t any operator’s license. t t t Mary Lowman— Robert, you are very fond of big words. Robert Jameson — Yes, a friend of mine once saved his life by using a big word. Mary How so? Robert— Called me a “prevaricator.” If he had called me a liar I’d have gone for him at once, but by the time I had look- ed it up in the dictionary he was several blocks away. t t t Mabel Brinkley (in dentist’s office). Dentist— I’m very sorry but I got a piece of your gum. Mabel Brinkley— That’s all right; I have some more here under the arm of the chair. t t t Miss Woodyard — In what way is education carried out? Ruth Snapp — By boards. t t t Hilda Bones — Wesley, I bet I can make an uglier face than you can. Wesley- — Well, I reckon so; just look what a start you have.
Page 134 text:
Page 130 THE ORIOLE Dick Glenn — Gosh, but I had a narrow escape last night. Charles Boley — How’s that? Dick — Woke up in the middle of the night and saw some- thing white moving in the room, so I grabbed my gun and shot it. After I turned the light on I found it was my shirt. Charles — I don’t see any narrow escape in that. Dick — Why, just suppose I hadn’t taken my shirt off last night. t t t Tom Roberts — “Cat,” can you tell me whether Noah had a wife or not? “Cat” — Certainly, don’t be silly. t t t Edith Hardy — Mont, who gave you that black eye? Mont — It wasn’t given to me; I had to fight for it. t t t Sarah Nowlin — Mildred, do you play by ear? Mildred Hall — No, my neck isn’t long enough. t t t Orville — Do you hie your finger nails, Miller? Miller Bushong — No, I just throw them away after I cut them off. 1 t t Louis Smith — My conscience bothers me. Garnet Kinzer — I didn’t know you had a conscience. Louis — Then it must be my stomach. t t t John Henry Calfee — Hey, Sam, don’t spit on the floor. Sam Pillsbury — What is the matter, does the floor leak? t t t Mr. Hodges — Did you make that face at me? Tom Douthat — No, sir, you just happened to walk in front of it. t t t Betsy Muire — Dorothy, what is a cynic? Dorothy Taylor — A cynic is a person who gives the opera- tor the wrong number in the hope that she’ll ring the right one. t t t Marie Richardson — I’m sorry I couldn’t come to your party yesterday. Mary Crowder — Dear me, weren’t you there? Marie — Why, of course I was, how stupid of me. I must have forgotten.
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