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Page 122 text:
Kathryn Snapp — Stop that man, he wanted to kiss me! Cop — That’s all right miss, there’ll be another one along in a minute. Bill Thomas — Anybody in here got any glue? Carson Dalton (brightly) — 1 got a safety pin. Bill — I’m afraid you need that. Tim Cecil — 1 have absolutely nothing to wear. Kat Dudley — Well put it on and let’s go. Margaret Dyer — I think the Charleston is awful. Frances Mullins — I can’t learn it either. Rachella Scott — Let’s do something odd, something ec- centric. Virginia Duncan — All right, let’s go down to Seagle’s and hunt for gum under the tables. Bill Thomas — Say, did you know that you can get a good ch ' cken dinner for ten cents down town. Bud Crockett — Where? Bill — -At the feed store. Jack Shuff — I paid my fourth visit to the beauty shop today. Julian Groseclose — Strange you can’t get waited on. Dr. Draper — Duane, why is it that you are always at the bottom of the class? Duane — It doesn’t make any difference, daddy; they teach the same things at both ends. Wilbur — -What would you say if I were to throw you a kiss? Sadie 1 — I’d say you were the laziest boy I ever met. “Mabel, you grow more beautiful every day.” “Oh, Jack, you do exaggerate.” “Well, then every other day.” [ 118 ]
Page 121 text:
“George,” murmured the sweet young girl as she nestled close to him, “cigars are nothing but a habit.” “Yes, and you’ve succeeded in breaking one of my habits,” said George as he took the remains of an Havana from his waistcoat pocket. Kathleen Hurst — Why do you wear sideburns? Bill Stull— It only takes one-half as long to shave. Ethel Lyons — I heard that Gillie kissed Bud right in public. Virginia Duncan — Did you ever! Ethel — No. Freshie — Mr. Brugh, how old are you? Mr. Brugh — I have seen thirty summers. Freshie — Mr. Brugh, how many summers have you been blind? Miss Thomas (at desk during exam) — I wish some one would suggest a way of keeping you pupils away from this desk with all these needless questions. Dean Creger — Eat onions. Colleen Seagle — I like your cigarette holder. Woodson Cummings — Why I never use one. Colleen — Please don’t be so dense. Miss Stull (in biology class) — Can anyone in the class name something that grows without sunlight? Mildred Hall — An egg. Mother — Sonny, why are you crying? H. Dewey — I am not crying, I’m irrigating my eye lashes. Miss Thomas — What are the two kinds of democracy? Dean Creger — Pure and representative. Miss Thomas — Can you think of any place in U. S. that has a pure democracy? Dean Creger — Switzerland has. [ 117 ]
Page 123 text:
Gillie — Remember when we first met in the revolving door at the bank? Billie — But that wasn’t the first time we met. Gillie — Well, that was when we began going around to- gether. First student to second — Oh, shut up, you are the biggest fool I ever saw. Prof. — Boys, boys, don’t forget I’m still in the room. Miss Finks — Tom, name the seasons. Tom — Pepper, salt, vinegar and mustard. New boy — I h’ave been introduced to Mabel Brinkley. Bud Crockett — What did she say? New boy — Nothing. Bud — Well, it wasn’t Mabel. Advice to students taking history: Eat tomatoes and ketchup. Mr. Eckman — Class, is there really fire in the body? Smart boy — Why, yes, you can see the smoke on a cold day. John Crowder — What makes the leaves turn red in the fall? Mont. Chumbley — They are blushing to think how green they have been all summer. Teacher — Why is a well-ordered school room like a Ford? Freshie — Easy; the crank’s in front. Teacher — And all the nuts are in their proper places. Sam Pillsbury — How long can a man live without brains? Gillie Groseclose — You ought to know. Bobby Harris (on seeing Judson march in with the gradu- ating class) — Oh, look, mamma! Judson’s got a gown like grandma’s! [ 119 ]
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