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Page 104 text:
THE ORIOLE “Baby” Haislip — Say, there’s a football player out here wants his picture taken. Photographer — Full face? “Baby” — No, half back. Marvin Harden — If potassium iodide would alcohol barium? Livingston Sheppard — N o , but dynamite. Miss Finks wrote on back of English paper, ‘‘Please write more legibly.” Joe Bones — What was that you wrote on my paper yester- day? Carl Bunts (disgusted at show) — Horse’s neck! Mary Draper — Do they? John Calfee — I am speaking for the future. Marshall Bassett — Yes, and if you don’t hurry up it’ll be here. Frances Mullins — I know a person who lives on onions alone. Margaret Dyer — Well, any one who eats onions ought to live alone. Miss Thomas (in history class) — Men spend half of their in- come for food and a sixth for clothes. Livingston Sheppard — Yes, I was just debating whether I would eat dinner today or go to the show tonight. Frank Jackson — What part of the body is the fray, Miss Finks? Miss Finks — Fray? What are you talking about? Frank — This book says Ivan- hoe was wounded in the fray. She — Whenever I see Gillie playing football, I imagine he is calling on me. He — Why, honey, does he make a football out of you? She — No, but he breaks through my interference. Lila Gilmer — Took at the man running away with the ball. Catherine Dudley — W ell, maybe he is tired playing. Lila — I’ll bet he’s sorry now; look at them pile on him. HEARD AT DRESSING Livingston Sheppard — These shoes are too small, damn it. I don’t believe I’ll ever get them on till I’ve worn them a spell. Charles Boley — What is the passing grade here, “D” isn’t it? George Crowder — Yeh, but last year I passed two courses with ‘‘ease.” Her eyes say, “Dear, I love you,” And I’d marry her, I would — But her lips, they say, “I seen her,” “I done” and “used to could.”
Page 103 text:
THE ORIOLE if Mrs. Harden — Marvin says he just broke two of the best records in P. H. S. Mr. Harden — Great snakes, something else we have to pay for, I guess, like those glass jars that he broke in the laboratory last week. RONALD POWELL’S MOTTO “It is better to remain silent and be called a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” Jeanette Ray — I read Alonzo’s “Ivanhoe,” didn’t you, Billy? Bill Cheves — No, I read Scott’s. Mr. Eckman (in chemistry class) — What is a precipitate? Alyne Hurd — Something that jumps down. Miss Finks — Jeanette, was the queen responsible for the king’s death? Jeanette Ray — Yes, because she married him. Alton (walking into Miss Fink’s room) — -Miss Finks, this is the coziest room I’ve been in yet. Alton (turning aside) — Now she will pass me on English. Every one laughed and Mr. Eckman asked what the joke was. John Cox — Ronald is married. Mr. Eckman Huh! I don’t think that’s any joke. William Allison — Is that stun- ning looking girl a teacher? Howard Gilmer — Yes, cer- tainly, her pupils are in her eyes. Mrs. Thomas (to Marion, coming down to breakfast late) — Did that young man kiss you last night? “Now, mother, do you sup- pose he came all the way from Bonsack to make eyes at the gold fish?” Tom Roberts, given to ad- miring the pretty girls of the city as they go down the street, found himself following one for them one sunny afternoon, hop- ing to get a glimpse of her face, Finally she turned, “Hello! Tom,” said his sister Virginia, smiling on him, “Better run home, dear, mother’s waiting for you.” June Hurd— I just put my hand on a hot iron; what must I do? Alyne Hurd — -Read Carlyle’s “Essay on Burns.” Mr. Eckman — What is space? Margaret Dyer — I have it in my head, sir, but I can’t explain it. John Cox — What is economy, father? Mr. Cox — Economy, my son, is a way of spending money without getting any fun out of it.
Page 105 text:
THE ORIOLE Alton Duncan — What is more to be desired in an accident than presence of mind? Carl Bunts — I don’t know, what ? Alton — Absence of body. Prof. Brugh (to tardy stu- dent) — Why are you late? Livingston Sheppard — Well, a sign down here — - Prof. — Well, what has the sign got to do with it? Livingston — The sign said, “School zone; slow down.” If wishes were horses, beg- gars might ride. WANTED A smile — James Miles. To be popular — “Maggie” and “Jiggs.” To be swell — Otis Spraker. To make “Goo goo” eyes — Conway Smith. Less love and more common sense — Marion Thomas. More time to primp — Naomi Cannaday. Another laugh — Daisy Lou Matheney. A memory — Isabel Miller. A few more girls — Livingston Sheppard. Something to do — Alton Dun- can. More worlds to conquer — Howard Gilmer. Less sentiment — Margaret Brewer. To be athletic — Anna Smith. More golden reports — t h e Senior Class. For rent — an alarm clock by an old lady with Swiss move- ments. Wanted by Frank Jackson — - A pair of breeches for bow legs. ’Tis love that makes the arm go around. LOST— (1) Somewhere be- tween the post office and the school house a Waterman foun- tain pen coming home from lunch. (2) A red sweater with William Thomas sewed in the neck. Story writers are queer ani- mals. Their tales grow right out of their heads. Little Willie considers get- ting a thing through his head a simple matter. Once I heard a mother utter, “Daughter, go and shut the shutter.” “Shutter’s shut,” the daughter uttered, “I can’t shut it any shutter.” A man that bets may not be a good man, but a man that doesn’t bet is no better. “The lightning-bug is a funny bird, The poor thing has no mind, He goes on stumbling through the world With his head-light on behind.”
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