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Page 92 text:
Margaret Brewer (talking to Virginia Roberts) — I heard that Opal Grantham went visiting during the holidays but didn’t have a very good time. Virginia R. — But why not? Where did she go? M. B. (answering both ques- tions) — Wurno (were no) people there. Some students heard Miss Thomas express a wish for a good picture of Thomas Jefferson. Now she is deluged with 1-cent postcards. (Look on ’em your- self, if you don’t believe it.) Mr. Eckman — Now, Mamie, can you describe the earth’s atmosphere? Mamie — No, sir, it’s too dense. ( Mr. Farthing (to Anna Alli- son) — Miss Allison, do you like your pictures? Anna — No, for they are not near so pretty as I am. Margaret Dyer — Don’t you think Mr. Fred Seagle has a grave expression? Kathryn Snapp — Sure, isn’t that the proper kind for an undertaker to have? Beveridge Roberts — Class, you must have your pictures taken right away. Billy Bones (reminding some- one)- — Words of Beveridge — All remind us We must have our pictures took And departing leave behind us Just exactly how we look. Aline, talking to Daisy — Did you see the Marionette show? Daisy — Yes, you were in it were you not? (Aline must be some doll baby.) Mamie (wondering if Nannette is star gazing) — Nannette, what do you see? Nannette — I was just looking at Gi. Alice Lowman That’s too bad so few Seniors are going to the banquet. Sena Thompson — Oh, I don’t care, I’ll get more to eat. Sena Thompson — Mr. Far- thing says you shouldn’t pow- der your face when you have you picture made. Elizabeth M. — Why, Sena, what effect does it have? =1= Ansell D. — Say, Sprake, don’t you know I saw a green snake yesterday? Otis S. — Ugh! Good thing it wasn’t a ripe one. Miss Thomas — Billy, what is your ambition? Billy— To be a governor. Miss Thomas — And, Bever- idge, what is yours? B. Roberts — To be a gover- nor’s wife. Billy Bones- Miss Thomas, how old do you have to be be- fore you can be President? Miss Thomas — Thirty-five years, Billy. Daisy Nelson — I’m going home and tell my daddy he can be president.
Page 91 text:
GREAT TRUTHS “They satisfy”— A’s. “So easy to make”- D’s. “Stops pain instantly” — Bell at the end of class periods. “The girl you can’t forget” The one who got you kept in. “The greatest American an- nual ” — The Oriole. Anna Smith has the habit so bad that she stands up and shimmies for half an hour be- fore a bottle with the label on it, “Shake well before using.” Mr. Brugh, talking to Ernest Lewey’s father — What’s your little boy’s name? Mr. Lewey — Ernest Hallowed Lewey. Mr. Brugh — But where did you ever get Hallowed? Mr. Lewey — Why, the Bible says “Hallowed be thy name.” Three words that describe a man’s 1 i f e — hatched- -matched — dispatched. Sara Edmonds (to waiter at a restaurant) — Dinner for one, please. Waiter — Madam, we do not fill silos. ' t Gertrude Jennings says “Where there’s a will there’s a way.” Lillian Pack wants to know how the sun can rise if it never moves. Ernest Lewey — Gerard, where is Christmas Island? Gerard Southern — That i s where Santa Claus lives. MODERN SONNET When she stood up for to shimmy Her shake was so complete Cleopatra would have had to wiggle If she would Margaret Dyer beat. At Harris’ soda fountain. Mr. Harris — Something for you? Carl Bunts — Yes, I’d like to get a glass of exit that you are advertising in Dalton Theatre. Why is it that we — Cry over the movies? Say that Jonah swallowed the whale? Spell separate “seperate?” Get nervous over exams and pass ’em. Don’t get nervous over exams and flunk ’em? Argue about the League of Nations? Forget that we were ever Freshmen? Write such nonsense as this? Martha Derrick says that Mr. Eckman called on her five times in the past week, and to- day popped her the question, to which she answered “Yes.” Oh, la, la! But don’t worry — • it was only in French class. Roby Sutherland is calling on Lena Bones and Carl Bunts is hovering in the foreground of the living room. Lena (to Roby) — Well, I see that you have arrived. Roby (glancing at Carl) — I should say I have arrival.
Page 93 text:
Miss Thomas (keeping study period) — Now, I want to see everybody concentrating this period. (Pupils began to sniff behind their handkerchiefs.) M iss Thomas- -Concentrating doesn’t mean crying. •k Howard Gilmer — Mama says I can’t dance on Sunday. Mary Draper — I say that you can’t dance on week days either. CHINESE VERSION OF TEACHER Teachee, teachee, All day teachee, Nigh tee markee papers. Never sleepe, No one kissee, No one huggee, Poor old maidee, No one lovee. Minnie Peirce (in prayer) — Dear Lord, I ask nothing for myself but please send my mother a son-in-law. Ernest Lewev— Say, Gerard, what do you call a man who drives a car? Gerard Southern- -It depends on how near he comes to hitting me. Miss Thomas — If the presi- dent and vice-president and all the cabinet officers were to die, who would officiate? John Crowder -The under- taker. Daisy Lou Matheney (who was taking a new girl to church) — Are you a Christian? Nell Lowman -No, I’m a Freshman. Maxine Umberger— I cer- tainly do like Anne of Green Gables. Louise Dudley— Where does she live? 4 k Miss Finks The man who wrote Silas Marner was a lady. •k k k Evelyn Worley — You look like a baby elephant. Frank Jackson — Yes, and you would make a good giraffe if your neck was as long as your tongue. •k k k Beveridge Roberts W hat does “Je vous aime” mean? Ernest Lewey — -I love you. B. R. (blushing) — This is so sudden. Gertrude Jennings -No boy can kiss me by force. Dorothy Jameson -No, you are always willing. Rhoda Neal Sheppard — Por- ter Wisler drives his Gardner with grace. Pauline Bopp — Every time I have seen him he was driving with Louise. •k k H Gerard Southern Marion, what would you do if I’d kiss you on your forehead? Marion Why, I’d call you down . MODERN GEOMETRY Given: I love you. To Prove: You love me. Proof: I love you I am a lover — all the world loves a lover you are all the world to me. You love me. Q. E. D.
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