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Page 107 text:
Hawkins-Taylor Co. PULASKI STUDIO THE MEN AND BOYS’ STORE EXPERT SERVICE 120 Main Street PULASKI, VIRGINIA SEAGLE BROS. THE FURNITURE MEN FUNERAL DIRECTORS PULASKI, VIRGINIA I. R. ALBERT Dealer in FRESH MEAT and COUNTRY PRODUCE Zum Do, Zum Don’t Laughter was never absent from the trenches even during the most terrible moments of the war. The London Daily News gives this example of the whimsical humor of Tommy Atkins: British troops had found that cer- tain captured German trenches were full of notices that read: Zum Unter- stand, which, interpreted, means “To the anti-aircraft shelter.” The next day while the officer in command was inspecting he was astonished to ob- serve below each legend another, like this: Zum Unterstand. Zum Don’t. — Youth ' s Companion. ' Her Strong Point A little girl of five was entertaining the callers while her mother was get- ting ready. One of the ladies remarked to the other with a significant look, “Not so p-r-e-t-t-y,” spelling the last word. “No,” said the child quickly, “but awful s-m-a-r-t .” — Boston Transcript. The Lady Was Right The lady who was thinking of buying an automobile had had the agent show her the carburetor, the differential, the transmission and everything she thought seemed important about the car. Then she said, “Now, are you sure you’ve shown me all the things I ought to know about?” relates an ex- change. “Why, yes, madam, I think so,” re- plied the agent. “Well, then, where is the deprecia- tion? I am told that is one of the most important things to know about when you are getting a car.” Buzz The skeeter is a bird of prey Which flies about at night. About three-eighths of him is beak, And five-eighths appetite, And fifteen-eighths of him is buzz, And nineteen-eighths is bite. — Exchange.
Page 106 text:
M. W. STEVENS’ ESTATE FINE FURNITURE AND RUGS EDISON PHONOGRAPHS FUNERAL DIRECTORS PHONE 9-F PULASKI, VIRGINIA WILLYS-KNIGHT OVERLAND FOUR CHEVROLET CITY GARAGE PULASKI, VIRGINIA WEST END STORE GENERAL MERCHANDISE PHONE 232 Much Missed Muggins — Yes, I ' m living out in the country now. It certainly has its inconveniences. Buggins — What do you miss most? Muggins — The last train home at night . — Duluth Herald. The Ungrammatical Owl By Frances C. Hamlet “To whit, to who-oo,” called the night owl From his nook in the old oak tree. Again and again to the silent wood “To whit, to who-oo?” asked he. A thoughtful lad on his homeward way Spoke up through the evening gloom: “If you’d studied your grammar, you wise old owl, You’d know you should say, “To who-m.” ■ — Exchange. All in the Way It’s Spelled A new and energetic foreman arrived to take over the shop, and many of the men had not previously seen him, says an exchange. During the fore- noon he made a tour of the buildings with the idea of becoming familiar with the lay-out, and on reaching a small enclosure he came upon a couple of workmen sitting down kill- ing time. “Hallo, stranger!” said one cheerily, “wot are you doin’ around here?” “I’m Dodgen, the new foreman,” came the quick reply. “That’s all right,” laughed the cheery one. ‘‘So are we. Come in and join us.” — Exchange. Wanted — A Soft Spot Freddie — What’s the matter, can’t you skate? Eddie (trying for the first time) — I don’t know yet. I can’t stand up long enough to find out. — Exchange. 102
Page 108 text:
THE PULASKI NATIONAL BANK PULASKI, VIRGINIA RESOURCES OVER A MILLION DOLLARS “.4 Pillar of Strength " EVERYBODY IS INVITED TO USE OUR BANK. THE SAME CARE IS GIVEN TO SMALL ACCOUNTS AS TO LARGE ONES— AN OAK TREE STARTED FROM AN ACORN S. B. STEGER, JR. Pulaski’s Best Tailor Since 1909 HOME OF STYLEPLUS CLOTHES Cleaning and Pressing Hat Renovating Seagle’s Pharmacy A DRUG STORE OF WHICH EVERY CITIZEN IS PROUD Elks Building Phone 31 Not in a Hurry An old Scotchman, David Gordon, was seriously ill, with scant hope for recovery. He had been wheedled into a will by relatives, and these were now gathered about his beside watching him laboriously sign it. He got as far as D-A-V-I — then fell back ex- hausted. “D, Uncle David, D,” exhorted a nephew. “Dee!” ejaculated the old Scot feebly, but with indignation, “I ' ll dee when I’m ready, ye avaricious wretch!” — The Forest. His Consolation Motorist — Yes, it took me about six weeks’ hard work to learn to drive my machine. Pedestrian — And what have you for your pains? Motorist — Liniment. — Pacific Weekly. Rough Timber “Have they a family tree?” “Oh, yes! To hear them talk you’d think some of its branches were used as timber in building the Mayflower.” — Philadelphia Evening Bulletin. He Feels Just So So First-class — I got a frightful stitch in my side at the rally the other day. Second-class — Yes, that’s the worst of being hemmed in by the crowd — ■ — Boy’s Life. His Address A man was invited to speak at a local gathering, and being nobody in par- ticular was placed last on the list of speakers. The audience was tired by the time the chairman rose and an- nounced, “Mr. Brown will now give us his address,” says an exchange. “My address,” said Mr. Brown, ris- ing, “is 55 Rushton Avenue. I wish you all good-night.”
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