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Page 103 text:
ft®®®®®® ® _y yi(ZMa e £ £- = AjRTAf r STO ?£ ESTABLISHED INCORPORATED 1906 1922 ft®®® ®® ®®®®®® ® ®® ®®®®® Made a Mess of It The Young Brother (addressing an elderly visitor) — Pa says you ' re a self-made man. Visitor — Quite so, my boy, and very proud of it I am. A pause. Then — Aren’t you a bit sorry you didn’t get some one to help you? — Exchange. Popular Books “What is your favorite book?” asks the humorist of the Kansas City Star. ‘‘My bank book,” was the reply; “but even that is lacking in interest these days.” Something New Sandy — I want tae buy a necktie. Clerk (showing some fashionable specimens) — Here is a tie that is very much worn. Sandy — I dinna want ane that’s very muckle worn; I’ve plenty o’ them at home. — Pall Mall Gazette. His Secret Terror A gentleman was negotiating with a horse dealer. “I am not so particular about speed,” he said, “but I must have a gentle horse for my wife to ride. Will you guarantee this horse to be safe?” “Certainly,” said the dealer. “He’s a regular lady’s horse.” “You are sure he’s not afraid of any- thing?” asked the gentleman anxiously. Whereupon the dealer assumed an air of reflection. “Well, there is one thing that he has always appeared to be afraid of,” he admitted conscien- tiously. “It seems as if he’s scared to death for fear some one might say, ‘Whoa!’ and he not hear it.” — Youth’s Companion. Cause and Effect “Doctor, my brother stepped into a hole and wrenched his knee, and now he limps. What would you do in a case like that?” “I’m afraid I should limp too!” - — The Christian Herald.
Page 102 text:
Harris’ Pharmacy DRUGS and PRESCRIPTIONS Dalton Building Phone 601 The Southwest Times Is always interested in school matters and in the young men who receive their training in Pulaski schools L. A. EMMART Millinery UPON INVESTIGATION YOU WILL ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MY MILLINERY GOODS WILL HAVE FIRST PLACE IN YOUR CONSIDERATION. PERFECTION IN EVERY DETAIL. An Optimistc Author ‘‘Don ' t you find writing a thankless job?” ‘‘On the contrary, everything I write is returned to me with thanks.” — Exchange. Some Fish Young Lady (on first visit to West- ern ranch). For what purpose do you use that coil of line on your saddle? Cowpuncher — That line, you call it, lady, we use for catching cattle and horses. Young Lady — Oh, indeed! Now, may I ask you, what do you use for bait? — Los Angeles Times. Intensive Gardening ‘‘Do you believe in intensive gar- dening, Mrs. Hoerake?” asked the vis- itor. “Well, rather,” said Mrs. Hoerake. “I spent all last winter raising one ge- ranium in a soap box.” — Harper ' s Weekly. Dickens in Bronze She is an old negro mammy and has been in the employ of Mr. Blank for many years. Yesterday she was dust- ing and when she came to a bronze bust of Charles Dickens she stopped and inquired: “Mistah Blank, who am dis here gen- man?” “That is Charles Dickens, aunty, the noted author,” replied Mr. Blank. “Am dat him?” Old aunty’s eyes shone with delight. “I’se done hyear a lot about dat Dickens. ' Deed, Mistah Blank, I’se done hyear so much about him I alius thought he was a white gen’man.” — New Orleans Times- Picayune. Page Diogenes “If 1 lend you ten dollars, what se- curity can you give me?” “The word of an honest man.” “All right, bring him along, and I’ll see what I can do for you.” — Banther.
Page 104 text:
GOOD MOTION PICTURES ARE BOTH ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL IT IS OUR DESIRE AND AIM TO SHOW THE BEST OBTAINABLE DALTON THEATRE Dissipated Creature Passenger — I say, driver, what is the average life of a locomotive? Driver — Oh, about thirty years, sir. Passenger — I should think such a tough-looking thing would last longer than that. Driver — Well, perhaps it would, sir, if it didn’t smoke so much. — Congre- gationalist. Gentle Hint “Physical culture, father, is perfect- ly lovely!” exclaimed an enthusiastic young miss just home from college. “Look! To develop the arms f grasp this rod in both hands and move it slowly from right to left.” “Well, well,” replied dad admiringly, “what won’t science discover next? Why, if that rod had straw on the other end, you’d be sweeping .” — American Legion Weekly. Precisely A little girl in southern California was having her first glimpse of snow. “Oh, mother, what is it— what is it?” she shouted excitedly. “Why, that is snow, Peggy. What ever did you think it was?” “Snow! Why, it looks like popped rain!” — Life. Mixed Senses One of the advantages of living on Long Island is that on one side of the island you can SEE the SOUND and on the other HEAR the SEA. — New York World. Friend in Need Jones — Blessings on him! He show- ed confidence in me when the clouds were dark and threatening. Robinson — In what way? Jones — He lent me an umbrella. —Exchange.
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