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Page 75 text:
THE ORIOLE dlakFH A little bit of rubber, If you aren’t a saint, Makes a bad report card Look like what it ain’t. Miss Watts (in Latin Class) — Billy, what is the Latin word for “give”? Billy — 1 dunno. Miss W atts — Yes, that’s right — dunno, donnare, etc. Marshall — Say, a freshman told me that you all have a joke on me in The Oriole. Robert — Only your picture. Edward — I’m trying to get ahead. Clarence — Well, you need one! Miss Finks — Garnett, have you seen Tunis? Garnett — Yessum. He’s setting on the sidewalk talking to a banana peel. Mr. Smith — Define velocity. Jacqueline — It’s what you let go of a bee with. THINGS THAT PUZZLE US What would Eugene do if he really had something to fall over? Alton wants to know if grass widows’ husbands die of hay fever. When asked to construct a syllogism in English class Rettia sent in the following: “Thelma’s voice is heavenly, Heavenly things are unearthly, Thelma’s voice is unearthly.” Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust, If Latin don’t kill us Geometry must.
Page 76 text:
72 THE ORIOLE At the movies Turus saw a little child fall out of a fourth story window and was saved by falling in an awning. “Saved by a miracle,” was flashed upon the screen. “Huh,” said Turus, “I thought those things were called awnings.” Scout Alton Crowell received a merit badge for cooking. He now has one for first aid. Perhaps he needed it. Lois — Do you know Janet Baldwin? Georgia — Yes, we both sleep in the same Latin class! Hipp — Myrtle, I saw you flirting with a man at the show last night. Myrtle — Well, you don’t think I would flirt with a girl do you. First Junior — What’s the play? Junior — The Merchant of Venice. First Junior — What’s the plot? Junior — I dunno, 1 think he was hauled up for profiteering. Joe Dent says that when a man hears a thing it goes in one ear and out the other, but when a woman hears a thing it goes in one ear and out her mouth. Jim Trolinger (in audience) — Can’t you see anything? Robert Finks — Can’t see a streak of the stage. Jim — Well, keep your eyes on me and laugh when I do. YOU CAN ALWAYS You can always tell a Senior, He is so sedately dressed. You can always tell a Sophomore By the way he swells his chest; You can always tell a Freshman, By his timid looks and such; You can always tell a Junior, But you cannot tell him much.
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